 These are indeed trying times and like it or not we would be tested by this current crisis and other different challenges as we continue to live. But whether it is COVID-19 or something else, it will always be true that the greater the loss of control that we feel from something outside of ourselves, the greater the need will be to find a center of control within ourselves. The term Dr. Barbara J. Brown has coined for this conscious self-care. Dr. Barbara J. Brown is a licensed clinical psychologist. She has practiced psychology in Washington DC for over 30 years and founded the Capitol Hill Consortium for Counseling and Consultation in 2019. Dr. Brown, welcome to Sister Power. Thank you very much. It's good to be here. Thank you. First of all, I want to thank your brother, my friend, Don Brown, who resides here in Honolulu for introducing us. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. You know, in the face of COVID-19, we have both fear and anxiety. So let's start with fear. Yes. Fear is a very adaptive response to real threat. And with COVID-19, we both have the health threat as well as the economic threat that has happened to us. And so really the fear response initiates a fight or flight response. And so to fight, you know, the very real threat, you know, we have to take good care of ourselves. And the flight piece comes in the form of, you know, the social distancing, which is recommended still in most places. Well, you know, with millions of people waiting for unemployment, and we have, you see the lines of cars backed up everywhere trying to get food. Now we have child abuse and domestic violence where the children are stuck at home, the men or women are stuck at home. Let's talk about anxiety. Yes. Well, anxiety is fear of what could happen. So it hasn't happened yet, but it's worrying about what could happen. And that also can help motivate us to be vigilant and to heighten our motivation to get the resources that we need. But still, you know, these threats that we have are very real and, you know, the resources that are needed economically, that we're hopefully getting from the government, that we're getting from charitable institutions, and the resources that we have in terms of protective services and domestic violence shelters are needed at this time of heightened stress. Well, before the show, you and I were chatting about the various organizations that you belong to. You belong to Jack and Jill, the links, aka's. You were saying that now you're working with Taraji Henson. Tell us about that program. Yes. The Henson Foundation, which is the Boris L. Henson Foundation that Taraji P. Henson started in honor of her father is for destigmatizing mental health services and actually has started an initiative with COVID-19 to provide five mental health telehealth visits for people who come to the website and it's the Boris L. Henson organization or BLHF for short foundation. And that will allow people to get services. They've been doing fundraising as well as providing providers with a forum to connect with clients and provide telehealth services. Yeah, that's excellent because, you know, of course, people who have this fear and anxiety, you're thinking about finances. How am I going to afford the help? So tell us about how they can get through. You have different, except various insurances. Right. Our organization, Capitol Hill Consortium for Counseling and Consultation was founded on the basis of being able to provide affordable and accessible services. We're in the Washington, D.C. area in Maryland, Virginia and Washington, D.C. proper. And the Henson Foundation is a national organization. And so it's reaching out to providers all over the country to provide services to the community and underserved community. And with African Americans in mind, particularly because of the health challenges that we face and the lack of affordable and accessible health care that is there and also just trying to destigmatize again mental health just like physical health and get help when you need it. That's comforting to hear. Yeah, speak to us about why is it, well, we know why, but for the people who don't understand why the African American community has hit the hardest. Well, I think when we talk about the social determinants of health care, we're talking about long standing discrimination and lack of access to proper care. And it's really financial, you know, social health care, mental health care as well as physical health care, just a dearth of services in the environment and a lack of opportunity that then leads to many cycles where we are not as empowered as we should be. Yeah, we'll continue the conversation about conscious self care during quarantine. What should we do to create positive habits. There are many things, and you know in terms of looking at basics first in terms of proper sleep, proper nutrition, and, you know, exercise, those are things that we need to do on a regular basis just to have emotional wellness and a baseline of emotional immunity. And then there are certain things that we can do in addition to increase our sense of power and control over our own existence, our own self care, when we are so out of control with everything happening outside, it becomes, as you said at the beginning, including my article, that we need to focus on having greater control over ourselves. You know, creating positive habits, creating structure in routine, creating soothing environments in our homes, and also just adopting an acceptance of that which we cannot control and then focusing more on what we can control. So when anxiety gets high, there are certain things that you can do like breathing practices to really slow down your breathing because if you can't get physically upset, you know, because anxiety brings a physical reaction as well. And if you can calm down the physical reaction, you can calm down the anxiety. So breathing techniques like the, you know, 478th breathing by Dr. Will, where you breathe in through your nose, hold it for seven and then breathe out through your mouth for eight in health. It also is really important mindfulness is key also because anxiety is about worrying about the future. So if you can bring your mind back to the present, it is also very helpful because that that is the only thing you're truly in control of is what's happening right now. And if you're conscious of how you're feeling and what's going on in your body, then you can calm yourself. But if you're in the future oriented, then you're not thinking about what you can do to control things. I'm glad you bought that up because people are saying, you know, I'm trying to feed my family. I'm in this line to get food for three and four hours. I have been standing in trying to get through to unemployment. So these are practices anyone can do anywhere. True. Yes, you can do the breathing techniques anywhere in front of anyone and they may not even know that you're doing. That's good advice. Well, Dr. Brown, I want to hear your thoughts about Dr. Lorna Brown, the ER physician in New York who committed suicide. That is just work. We need our ER physicians and our nurses and our health care providers. Yes. And I've been very concerned about them. We are starting some initiatives in our practice to be available and doing, you know, group care, as well as individual care to first responders, physicians, the nurses. In the health care industry, but also all of those who are putting themselves at risk with our grocery stores with our police and firefighters. You know, it's just amazing what sacrifices people are making. And when that happened, what was it last week? Yes. Suicide of the doctor last week. Yes. It really hit a chord that we have to pay attention to the mental health and the amount of stress that people are under. And I think what I've heard is that some of the hopelessness sets in when a couple of things, when you don't have all the resources that you need to take care of people and you don't have some of the emotional support that you need to handle the extreme pain and suffering that you're seeing. So it's a very difficult situation. And for the first responders out there, I just want you to know that it is important for you to reach out as soon as you can. And it's important for those administrators who have some power to help to be as supportive as possible to the first responders, give them breaks, support groups, give them resources as much as possible to handle the extreme stress. That's such good advice. My sister is a nurse, retired nurse, my girlfriend, Dr. Joanne Williams is an ER physician in Los Angeles. And that was her question. I mean, where can they go? Who's opening up their program for them for help? But we'll speak more about that, Dr. Brown. We're going to take a short break and come back and continue our conversation about conscious self care. Be right back. Aloha. I'm Keisha King, host of Crossroads and Learning on Think Tech, Hawaii. On Crossroads and Learning, our guests and I discuss all aspects of education here in Hawaii and throughout the country. You can join us for stimulating conversations to enrich and liven and educate. We are streamed live on Think Tech biweekly at 4pm on Mondays. Thanks so much for watching our show. We look forward to seeing you then. Aloha. Welcome back to Sister Power. I'm Sharon Thomas Yarbrough. And today we're speaking with a clinical psychologist in Washington DC, Dr. Barbara Brown. And we're speaking about conscious self care during times of extreme stress, ways to cope effectively during the COVID-19 quarantine. And before we went on break, we were talking about the ER physician in New York who committed suicide. Let's finish that conversation. Yes, I was about to say that my sister, Dr. Michelle Brown, she goes by Shelly, is also a physician and she's working in California in nursing homes. And that's also a very hard hit population. And so we've been talking regularly about her safety and making sure that she has the supports. And from what she has told me, she has very good support through her administration. And that is extremely helpful. Some of the other physicians I have spoken to have not been as lucky with getting their PPEs so that they can feel safe and secure. Some people I know are buying their own PPEs because they have not been given adequate resources from their agencies. And, you know, it's really incumbent upon all of us to be supportive of them because they are on the front line. They are. And what this is telling me and our viewers, you have to love yourself and take care of yourself, whatever it takes. Well, creating a cognizant mindset. Let's talk about radical acceptance. What does radical acceptance mean, Dr. Brown? So radical acceptance was a term that was coined by Marshall Linehan, who has done some tremendous pioneering work that has helped mental health very much. And she has a foundation really in mindfulness. But what radical acceptance is, is basically accepting things as they are without judgment. And when you accept things as they are without judgment, then you can basically think more clearly. She talks about coming from a wise mind. And so radical acceptance helps you be grounded in the reality of the situation. And again, by being conscious and bringing your anxiety down, then you can take control of the situation. So sometimes people mix up radical acceptance with just plain old acceptance. And so, since you brought up domestic violence, I'll bring that as an example. So radical acceptance does not mean accepting abusive behavior. It means recognizing that you're in an abusive situation. And as a result of accepting that radically, you can make a decision about how to how to best take care of yourself. So it's not accepting abuse. It's realizing you're in an abusive situation and making sure that you can then get out of there. Not blaming yourself, you know, not focusing on the other person and appeasing them, but getting out of there and taking stock and taking control. Well, where can, you know, we're on lockdown. The nation, the world really is on lockdown. And I think about domestic violence. I've worked with many organizations here at Honolulu. I'm thinking they need some information. Where can they go? I don't know all the resources in there. There's a domestic hotline, domestic violence hotline that's national. And so I don't know if I can look up that number real quick. We do have some crisis numbers on our website, which is www.ccccmentalhealth.com. We do have some lists of local as well as national health lines that are available. That's wonderful information. Will you give that again? And that's for your company, the Capitol Hill? And we have also articles that we've done on conscious self care, domestic violence alone versus lonely and on telehealth on our website as well. It's www.ccccmentalhealth.com. And as I said, there are national organizations, the domestic violence hotline, suicide hotline, crisis link is another one. It is a hotline where people can call and get help, get resources. Thank you. That's this pertinent information. And Dr. Brown, many of us know someone who has become ill. How can we really actively support someone in our family or community and their family members who are sick recovering from COVID-19? Well, the ones who are recovering, the ones that I've talked to that are recovering are really so grateful that they have not succumbed to the illness. And so they feel very fortunate, even though they've had to go through the struggle, because more and more unfortunately, we know people who are dying. And I've had colleagues who have lost close relatives. I've recently learned that one of my college sisters from Wellesley passed who was in New York. And so, you know, it's a horrible thing. And the people who are in nursing homes who are dying alone because no one can, you know, go in or out. And so it's very difficult on those families to accept that they weren't able to say goodbye. You know, truly, you hear some heroic circumstances where the doctors and nurses are using their own phones to make sure that there is some face time at the end. And that's very admirable, but it's, of course, not the same as being there. And we must applaud our healthcare families and friends who are on the front lines and holding the people that they don't know. They just come into the emergency room and unfortunately don't make it. So we want to applaud them and thank them again. Dr. Brown, amongst therapists, they are talking about working with clients where they both are sharing trauma. What are meaningful ways to support the caregivers? I think making sure that you're available, number one, giving them permission to ask for help. When I was, we were talking before, what I was thinking is that caregivers are so used to sacrificing themselves and giving of themselves that they're not always the best at asking for help when they need it. And so really giving permission that it's okay, that you don't have to be stoic. You don't have to just take it. You really need a chance to decompress every single day after work because and you need to take some time off. You need to know your limits and do the self-care, the very conscious self-care there as well. That's excellent advice because I'm chatting with my Hanai niece and her husband is an ICU at Cedar Sinai and she can't be with him. And I just think that we need to reach out to want to know it's our right to cry. It's our right to vent. We're human. We're human first of all. So thank you for that. Dr. Brun, if Sister Power viewers have questions, can you give us an email address where they can write to you? Sure. Our email address is Capitol Hill Mental Health at gmail.com. And as I said, our website has all of our contact information and that again is www.cccc. So for Cs, mentalhealth.com. That's excellent. Well, you know, in a couple of weeks, Mother's Day is coming. And all the doctors and healthcare workers and mothers who are not here anymore from COVID-19, you know, sometimes I try to overlook Mother's Day because that's the weekend of Mother's Day that I lost my mother. We lost our mother. So, you know, they're going to have all kind of feelings and emotions because they weren't able to say goodbye. Let's just let your words reach out to all the mothers out there and all the people who have lost their mothers and give them some words of comfort. I think when it comes to grief, the concept of radical acceptance, you know, is something that you come to as you work through your emotions. And grief work is like, I would say it's like a scar, you know, if you let it air, if you just let the emotions flow naturally, you will move past. You won't ever stop missing your loved one, but you'll get to a point of acceptance, radical acceptance of their loss. And that takes time. That takes as long as it needs to. But in terms of these holidays, the first year after a loss is going to be the hardest in terms of going through all the holidays. So for Mother's Day, Father's Day, you know, Christmas, all of those holidays that you celebrate, think about honoring the person that you've lost. You know, how can you bring their memory back to you in a way that honors them and, you know, is meaningful to you? Well, thank you. In 60 seconds or less, Dr. Brown, we're talking about conscious self-care. Just elaborate on something that we have not spoken about to our viewers. I think that being in touch with your emotions, with your needs is the most important thing. If you know what you're going through, then you can do your best in the moment to take care of yourself. I do think that if it's too much, if you're overwhelmed, I really want people to reach out for help. And there are psychiatrists, psychologists, other therapists, good friends, you know, support groups, you know, anyone you feel comfortable reaching out to, it's important. Thank you. You're not alone. You're not alone. And before we close, we're going to do a part two with you, and it's about employers. Can you talk about that for 10 seconds? Sure. We've just started thinking about reentry, and so we're thinking about best practices that employers can take. Managers and supervisors can work with their employees so that they can feel safe and cared for and valued as they come back into the workforce, as they come back to their work sites. Thank you, Dr. Brown, for joining us, and I welcome you for a part two, and I'm Sharon Thomas Yarbrough. Please take care of yourself and each other. Aloha.