 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildesleeve. Gildesleeve is brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, makers of the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. We say one and only because there just isn't any other salad dressing like Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip is different, and it tastes different. Miracle Whip tastes so good it's become the most popular salad dressing ever created. More Miracle Whip is sold in the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Try it. Make your salads better tasting with the one and only Miracle Whip. The great Gildesleeve and his little family slept peacefully in their beds. Well, all except his little nephew Leroy, he lay awake and the wheels of his mind were turning around and around. In a little while they began to turn faster and faster and then he got an idea. Now it's morning. Birdie, the housekeeper, is in the kitchen cooking breakfast and here comes Leroy. Hi Birdie. Good morning. Leroy, you up already? Yep, I was the first one. What happened? You bed fall down? No, I got a busy day. I'm flying. You better tuck in your shirt tail. You're not only flying, you're flapping. Okay. What you got there, Leroy? Is that your piggy bank? Yeah, I got a neat idea. I'm going to make a pile of money. Don't you go bustin' open that pig? No, I got a better idea than that. I'm going to sell guesses. guesses? Sure. You know how stores have people guess how many beans in a jar? Well, I'm going to have them guess how much there is in my piggy bank. Ten cents a guess, keen, huh? How you gonna do that? Well, simple. Everybody guesses how much is in it, but one that's closest gets the pig. Oh, for pity's sake. I got a hundred guys to guess. Ten cents a guy, that's ten bucks. I got a thousand guys to guess, and that's a hundred bucks. I never heard of a scheme like that. Yeah, and there's only two dollars and thirty cents on the pig. What do you need, huh? Needs. Leroy, you're a slicker. That's what you are. You're a slicker. Yeah. Leroy, come to breakfast. Okay, I'm coming. Guess how much is in the pig for ten cents. What a slicker. Morning, Leroy. What are you doing over here? Having coffee with auntie. Where's that husband of yours, Marjorie? Oh, Bronco left early. He's working on a big deal. Yeah, so am I. Bronco won't have to work after a while. Neither will you, Bronco. What's this? It's easy. I get guys to guess how much is in my piggy bank. Ten cents a guest. I make a hundred dollars on one pig. And if I had ten pigs, I'd... Leroy, just a minute. You want to guess? No. Oh, the dizzy ideas. What's dizzy about it? Leroy, you can't do that. It's not legal. It isn't? They'd put you in jail. They would? Certainly. Poor little Leroy, you thought you had it all figured out, didn't you? Yeah. Well, there are other ways to make money. Plenty of them. I admire your ambition, Leroy, but let's try to think of something a little more practical. You could deliver packages at Mr. Peabee's drugstore. I don't want to run around with ass friends. I want to have a business. Well, that's the right idea, my boy. Hey, how about a roller skating rink in the backyard? All I have to do is put some boards down. Leroy, nobody wants to go skating in our backyard. All they have to do is go out on the sidewalk. Well, I didn't think of that. You're smart, uncle. Well, I've had experience. You get a business where you're selling something people need, like bread and cheese. Cheese? Something that's necessary. You look at me. I'm in water. Everybody has to have that. I see what you mean, uncle. You bet. Start a little business and do it all yourself. Get something everybody needs. For instance, right now I need a haircut. Okay, I'll be a barber. Where's the scissors? Just a minute. That takes training. I was only illustrating the point. You've got the right idea and you keep at it, my boy. You'll think of something. Sure. You're keen, uncle. Well, thank you. You'll just leave you have a wise old head on your shoulders. You should have been a teacher. Right into the chair, Commish. Floydie Monson puts out the quickest haircuts in town. My electric clippers got overdrive. I intended to come in this morning, Floyd. I was pretty busy at the office. Had to wait until noon. Pumping a lot of water these days, huh? You bet. Watch those clippers, Floyd. Okay. Hey. Little Leroy stopped him to see me this morning. He did? Yeah, what a salesman that kid is. Talked a shit right off my back. What's this? He's in business, picking up laundry. He is? Sure. Some new outfit in town called a million-dollar laundry. I give him all my shirts. That kid's a go-getter, Commish. Sure. And the laundry business is all right. He took my advice. He has something everybody needs. Do you get him the job? Certainly not. He got it himself. I simply advise him. Yeah, the million-dollar laundry. Sounded like a big concern. All right, George Floyd. That'll show you what a boy can do when his uncle gets behind him. The way that kid's going, you're going to stay way behind him. Leroy, the laundry king. Yes, yes. Ah, but you got nothing to worry about, Commish. When the kid's a big laundry tycoon, he'll buy his water from you. That was all right with me, Floyd. After all, I started him out. He's a clever little lad, but it was his old uncle that taught him the principles of business. Yes, sir. How about a shampoo, Commish? A shampoo? Yeah, why not? If your nephew's going to be the head of a laundry, why not learn to the head behind the laundry head? Yeah, sure. Shoot the works, Floyd. I must have gone right out this morning and landed that job. And it shows he has ability. It shows too he has good advice behind it. The boy follows in the footsteps of the man. And I make some pretty big footsteps. Yeah, I think I'll drop in and tell P.D. about it. Hello, P.D. What can I do for the water, Commish, today? Well, I haven't had lunch yet, P.D. What's in the sandwiches today? The same old bologna. Good. I'll take a bologna sandwich. You can eat it. Certainly, P.D. Why shouldn't I? Well, no reason, I guess, if you like this stuff. I can't figure out why people come in here to eat. This is a drug store. Well, people get hungry. Well, why don't they go to a restaurant? I don't know why I sell sandwiches. Restaurants don't sell aspirin. P.D. There you are, Mr. Gil, this thing. Oh, thank you. Delicious sandwich. The best I ever tasted. Why do you say all those terrible things about your food? Psychology, Mr. Gil, this means. If I say the food's good, the customer says it's bad. But if I say it's bad, the customer says it's good. Just tricks as a trade. P.D., you're shrewd. By the way, have you heard about Leroy? Yeah, it's Leroy was in this morning, so he's in the laundry business. Yeah, my idea. You don't say. Sure. Boy wanted to make some money, so I coached him how to get started. I'm beginning right now to give the boy the benefit of my experience, P.D. Yeah. Now, I hope that laundry does good work. I sent all my shirts. You did? What a nice thing to do. And you won't have to worry. Leroy's doing just as I told him. But, you know, he's going to be exactly like his uncle. Yeah, he's taking after you, all right. You bet. Working with the laundry, he has the water and the same old soft soap. P.D., you know I never soft soap anybody. Yeah, no, I wouldn't say that. Good judge. So you're doing fine. Sure. I've got all the important people in town. How about you, uncle? I have your laundry business. You certainly can, my boy. After all, we're practically partners. Where's your bundle? You'll find my shirts upstairs in the clothes hamper. Okay. How about the one you got on? The one I've got on? You've got a spot on. Well, I'll keep my coat on. I have to go back to the office. Okay, I'll get it tonight. See you later. What a salesman. Lloyd was right. He'll talk the shirt right off your back. Leroy's getting along on his new job. Yeah, how can he miss? Where's Leroy? Have you heard about the laundry? Have I heard? Marjorie, I practically suggested it. Remember this morning when Leroy asked me for advice? You suggested it? Well, it was the same thing. Leroy's just a boy. He needs an older head to help him along. How's he doing? Ask Birdie. And I? Just go out in the kitchen and ask Birdie. And I don't like the sound of this. What's going on around here? Hello, Birdie. Well, you home at last, Mr. Gilseed. I'm glad you home. Oh, what's up, Birdie? It ain't what's up, Mr. Gilseed. It's what's down in the basement. What's in the basement? Leroy. You know what that boy's doing, Mr. Gilseed. Well, yes, Birdie. You know what he's doing in that basement, Mr. Gilseed? No, Birdie. Look at that sign he stuck up on the basement door. Million-dollar laundry. Leroy Forrester President, Woofer. That's what he's doing in the basement in my washing machine. In the washing machine? He's doing washing. He's doing everybody's washing in my washing machine. Birdie, now wait. Let's look and see. I ain't looking. I'm just sitting in human. I ain't looking. But the boy was only five. He's got the soap down there, and that machine's a-going. The search is going to be coming out the window, and I'm sickening human. Oh, Birdie, let's look at this comedy. Leroy's just a boy, and you'll have to admit it's a pretty clever idea. The search is going to be coming out the window. Now, now wait. More than one big business has started just this way. Maybe he didn't go about it just right, but at least he's trying. Let's try to be understanding. I don't know. Let's try to be understanding. I understand. He's down there with the soap, and the machine's a-going. Oh, what's the use? I'll get out and see what's going on. Look at this in the basement. I said I didn't know you were going to do this in the basement. Well, can't take the washing machine upstairs. Birdie and Margie are a little upset, though. Yes, they'll be all right. You have the right idea. You took the bull by the horns and started your own business. That's what counts. Of course, you'll have to find some other way to do it. But I'm not angry with you for this. No, sir. Aw, keen, honk. Yeah, I told all the fellas what a smart boy you were, just like your uncle. And this proves it. Gee, thanks. Look at all the shirts I got. Yours and everybody's. Well, good for you. Whose shirt is this? Gee, I don't know. You don't know. How are you going to tell who they belong to? Who they belong to? How are you going to get the right shirts back to the right people? You mean you didn't mark them? Well, this leave will be back in just a minute. One of the tricks to serving salads at their best is to serve them on salad plates or in salad bowls that are well-chilled. Another important trick to serving delicious salads is to use a salad dressing you can depend on to give your salad just the right flavor. That's why so many good cooks all over America use Miracle Whip salad dressing. Miracle Whip has a flavor that millions of folks call just exactly right. It's a wonderful peppy flavor that's just sharp enough. And it's a different flavor, one that you won't find in any other salad dressing. That's because Miracle Whip is made from a secret craft recipe, a recipe that combines the very best qualities of old-fashioned boil dressing and fine, rich mayonnaise. Miracle Whip has a marvelous texture too. It's creamy, thick, and satiny because this dressing is blended thoroughly with special beaters. No wonder Miracle Whip has become the most popular salad dressing ever created, actually outselling the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Whether you're preparing a very special salad for guests or just fixing a simple healthful salad for that favorite family of yours, take the guesswork out of salad making. Use the salad dressing you can depend on to be velvet smooth and delicious every time. The one and only Miracle Whip. It seems Leroy's million-dollar laundry has made a slight mistake. Plenty of shirts came into the laundry, but now there's a little problem of getting them back to the right people. In fact, it isn't a little problem at all. It's a mighty big one. The million-dollar laundry has had the shirts over a week now, and the president is in trouble. Well, I know you didn't mean to, but they are. You'll have to figure some way to sort them out. How can they sort them out? Don't ask me. This is your laundry. It's your idea. But they all look alike. Yeah, I know. The white shirt looks like every other white shirt. And mine are in there too. You better think of something, Leroy, and you'd better think fast. Aren't you going to help me on? No, sir. It's your business. You got yourself into this mess. Now you get yourself out. Now I'm going out for a walk to learn to watch it. It's his own fault. Not mine. Well, he deserves to be scared. We'll do him good. The mean trick, though. Leaving him in trouble like that. The illest leave don't be a heel. I'm not being a heel. Yes, you are. Well, maybe I am. We'll figure out something. That's all a part of being a good businessman, my boy. There's no problem. That's too big to be solved. And we'll solve this one. Jay, thanks, Shonk. You bet. We'll straighten this out in jig time. We'll take it, Marjorie. Okay, Leroy, there. Leroy is certainly a judge. Leroy is for you. Me? What did he say? He's wondering about his shirts. What did I tell him, Uncle? Well, tell him. Oh, brother. Hello? I'll never get back into this. Leroy, tell him he can have his shirts this afternoon. I don't know what you're doing with him. Yofer, give me the phone, Leroy. This afternoon and you can eat him for dinner. Goodbye. I had to tell the judge something. I don't know how we're going to sort out these darn shirts. Why don't you let the fellas come to the house and pick them out? They'll recognize them. Sure, they'll... Say, that's not a bad idea. We'll make a little party out of it. Serve punch and cookies. And fix out his own shirts. By George, I knew I'd find a way out of this thing. Oh, hello, Floyd. I bet I know what you're calling about. Oh, yeah? You've lost your shirt. No joke, Commissioner. I've been wearing the same shirt for three days. Well, so have I. Keep your shirt on. Everything's going to be all right. A little mix-up, Floyd. The markings got lost. We're having a little get-together at my house this afternoon with refreshments. Come on over and pick out your shirts. Yeah, but... You're just one of those things. It can happen in the best of the laundry. But I'm taking charge, so you don't have to worry. Just come over this afternoon about five o'clock. Okay, Commissioner. See you later, Floyd. What are you doing, honk? Great. I told you I'd get this straightened out. Yay. You're the smartest uncle in the whole world. Well, it's all the better of using your head, my boy. Yes, sir. McFuelsie, what about them shirts? Oh, it's all settled, Bertie. We'll all pitch in and iron them up neatly, and then the fellas are coming over this afternoon to pick them out. It's a clever idea, don't you think? You mean they're going to come in and find their own shirt? Sure. And I'll pick out mine, too. Mine are in there. We'll make a nice little party of it. What's so funny? This is live to be some party. What's that? What happens when two men both decide on the same shirt? Oh, that couldn't happen, Bertie. It couldn't. Miss Gillespie, have you ever been to a bargain sale? Well, it won't be like that, Bertie. I see them then tan into them shirts. Miss Gillespie, you're going to have a hassle. No, Bertie. Yes, I see them then pulling and yanking. You're going to have a hassle. All right, Bertie. Miss Gillespie, you know what you're going to have? Yes, Bertie. That's right. You're going to have a hassle. There were the punch. And quit eating them. Oh, good. Spread them out there in the couch, my dear. The others are in the dining room table. Holy cow! I really stuck in the laundry. Yes, yes. All of a sudden, Miss Gillespie? Well, I'm already, Bertie. What are you doing? I'm taking the breakables out of the living room. If there's going to be a hassle in here, I'm going to save all the good stuff. Oh, here they come, monkey. I'll open the door. I'll go to the door. It's Mr. Munson. Come on in. Good afternoon, Mr. Munson. Hello, Maude. Hi, Commiss. Well, greetings, Floyd. You're the first one here. Yep, that's me. Come early and stay late. Figured I'd get here a little ahead of time, get the pick of the shirts. Take it easy, Floyd. Widdle the others, get here. Oh, you got the best ones spotted already. Huh, Commiss? Excuse me, Roy. And Phoebe. Glad to see you. Glad to see you, Gilday. I'm glad to see my shirt. You see, we could have a Jolly Boys meeting. By George, we could at that. I'm certainly happy to see you fellas taking this thing in a friendly spirit. Well, you never can tell, Gilday. I might go out of here with better shirts than I ever had before. I didn't wear my glasses. No, judge. Hey, we ought to draw straws to see who gets first crack at them. No, indeed. It's every man for himself. Oh, brother. Maybe Birdie was right. Well, we're all here. All the shirt owners. I'm in the same boat, you know. So, fellas, look them over and find your own. Sure, let's get started. Come on. Let's not get excited. There are plenty of shirts for everybody. Yeah, I know. We all trust each other. Why, of course, we do, Gilday. Let me see. That looks like mine with the pearl button. This one's mine. Say, this is like a game. I spy. I found another shirt. No, judge. Don't overdo this. Have you got one there with your prayed collar? Three. Look, I don't pull. Oh, look at them go. This is the best party we ever had. Fine time. Besides, what a nice bunch of fellas. Yeah, team guys. Sure. You see, there was no squabbling. It all worked perfectly. Not a single shirt left. I know he's bad, auntie. Where are your shirts? Dick, Mark, my shirts. Group, forgot all about them. And they're all gone. Oh, what a sneaky thing to do. We'll be with us again in just 30 seconds. Want to make your vegetable salad extra delicious? Add tiny flourettes of chilled raw cauliflower to it for a special flavor touch. And use a really good salad dressing. Use Miracle Whip, the salad dressing with the lively teasing flavor. The flavor millions of folks call just right. Miracle Whip has a special peppy flavor you won't find in any other salad dressing anywhere. Try it. Enjoy delicious salad made with Miracle Whip. You can give me four white shirts, size 1636. There you are. Shall I wrap them? No. Now I just put them in a bag. Yes, sir. The 785 with the tax. Hello, children. Well, hello, Judge. What do you have in the bag? I just came from the bakery. It's full of dried bread from the pigeons. I'll set it here on the counter. Nice party, yes, to the girl there. Yeah, nice. Ate all my cookies, drank all my punch, and somebody ran off with my shirts. Probably you, Judge. Me? Well, if that's the way you feel, I'll take my bag and be on my way. Goodbye. Goodbye. Well, I'll take my shirts. Shirts. Judge. Dry bread. Keep it. Do you want to sleep today? You're the pigeon. Woodard Waterman. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White and is transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Arthur Q. Bryan, Earl Ross, and Dick Legrand. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Easton saying good night for the craft foods company makers of the famous line of craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Hilda's Leave.