 Chapter 40 of Middlemarch. This is LibriVox Recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public to mean. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Paradise Camouflage. Middlemarch by George Eliot. Chapter 40. Wise in his daily work was he the fruits of diligence, and not to faiths or polity he applied his utmost sense. These perfect in their little parts, whose work is all their prize, without them how could laws or arts or towered cities rise? In watching effects, if only of an electric battery, it is often necessary to change our place and examine a particular mixture or group at some distance from the point where the movement we are interested in was set up. The group I am moving towards is at Calipgoth's breakfast table in the large parlor where the maps and desks were Father, Mother and Five of the children. Mary was just now at home waiting for a situation, while Christy, the boy next to her, was getting cheap learning and cheap fare in Scotland, having to his father's disappointment taken to books instead of that seeker calling business. The letters had come, nine costly letters for which the postman had been paid three in two pence, and Mr Garth was forgetting his tea and toast while he read his letters and laid them open one above the other, sometimes swaying his head slowly, sometimes screwing up his mouth in inward debate, but not forgetting to cut off a large red seal unbroken, which let he snatched up like an eager terrier. The talk among the rest went on unrestrainedly for nothing disturbed Calipgoth's absorption except shaking the table when he was writing. Two letters of the nine had been for Mary. After reading them she had passed them to her mother and sat playing with her teaspoon absently, till with a sudden recollection she returned to her sewing, which she had kept on her lap during breakfast. Oh, don't so, Mary, said Ben, pulling her arm down. Make me a pea-cock with this breadcrumb. He had been kneading a small mass for the purpose. No, no, Miss Chief. Said Mary, good humanely, while she pricked his hand lightly with her needle. Try and mould it yourself. You've seen me do it after the laugh. I must get the sewing done. It is for Rosamund Vincy. She is to be married next week, and she can't be married without this hunker-chief. Mary ended merrily, amused with the last notion. Why can't she marry? said Letty, seriously interested in this mystery, and pushing her head so close to her sister that Mary now turned the threatening needle towards Letty's nose. Because this is one of a dozen, and without it there would only be eleven. said Mary, with a grave air of explanation, so that Letty sank back with a sense of knowledge. Have you made up your mind, my dear? said Mrs. Garth, laying the lettuce down. I shall go to the school at Chalk, said Mary. I am less unfit to teach in a school than in a family. I like to teach classes best, and you see I must teach. There is nothing else to be done. Teaching seems to be the most delightful work in the world, said Mrs. Garth, with a touch of rebuke in her tone. I could understand your objection to it if you had not knowledge enough, Mary, or if you disliked children. I suppose we never quite understand why another dislikes what we like, mother, said Mary, rather currently. I'm not fond of the schoolroom. I like the outside world better. It is a very inconvenient fault of mine. Must be very stupid to be always in a girl's school, said Alfred, such a set of nincompoops, like Mrs. Ballard's pupils walking two and two. And they have no games worth playing at, said Jim. They can neither throw nor leap. I don't wonder if Mary's not liking it. What is it that Mary doesn't like, eh? said the father, looking over his spectacles and pausing before he opened his next letter. Being among a lot of nincompoop girls, said Alfred. Is this the situation you have heard of, Mary? said Caleb, gently, looking at his daughter. Yes, father. The school at York. I am determined to take it. It is quite the best, thirty-five pounds a year, and extra pay for teaching the smallest drummers at the piano. Poor child. I wish you could stay at home with us, Susan, said Caleb, looking plaintively at his wife. Mary would not be happy without doing her duty, said Mrs. Garth, magisterially, conscious of having done her own. It would make me happy to do such a nasty duty as that, said Alfred, at which Mary and her father laughed silently, but Mrs. Garth said grievely, Do find a fitter word than nasty, my dear Alfred, for everything that you think disagreeable. Suppose that Mary could help you to go to Mr. Hammers with the money she gets? That seems to me a great shame, but she's an old brick, said Alfred, rising from his chair and pulling Mary's head backwards to kiss her. Mary coloured and laughed, but could not conceal that the tears were coming. Caleb, looking on over his spectacles, with the ankles of his eyebrows falling, had an expression of mingled delight and sorrow as he returned to the opening of his letter. And even Mrs. Garth, her lips curling with a calm contentment, allowed that inappropriate language to pass without correction. Although Ben immediately took it up and sang, she's an old brick, old brick, old brick, to a cantering measure which he beat out with his fist on Mary's arm. But Mrs. Garth's eyes were now drawn towards her husband, who was already deep in the letter he was reading. His face had an expression of grave surprise, which alarmed her a little, but he did not like to be questioned while he was reading, and she remained anxiously watching till she saw him suddenly shaken by a little joyous laugh as he turned back to the beginning of the letter and, looking at her above his spectacles, said in a low tone, What do you think, Susan? She went and stood behind him, putting her hand on his shoulder while they read the letter together. It was from Sir James Chetam, offering to Mr. Garth the management of the family estates at Freshit and elsewhere, and adding that Sir James had been requested by Mr. Brook of Tipton to ascertain whether Mr. Garth would be disposed at the same time to resume the agency of the Tipton property. The baronet added in very obliging words that he himself was particularly desirous of seeing the Freshit and Tipton estates under the same management, and he hoped to be able to show that the double agency might be held on terms agreeable to Mr. Garth, whom he would be glad to see at the hall at twelve o'clock on the following day. He writes handsomely, doesn't he, Susan? said Calib, turning his eyes upward to his wife, who raised her hand from his shoulder to his ear while she rested her chin on his head. Brook didn't like to ask me himself, I can see, he continued, laughing silently. Here is an honour to your father, children, said Mrs. Garth, looking round at the five pair of eyes, all fixed on the parents. He is asked to take a post again by those who dismissed him long ago. That shows that he did his work well, so that they feel the want of him. Like sin sin at us, hooray, said Ben, riding on his chair with a pleasant confidence that discipline was relaxed. Will they come to fetch him, mother? said Letty, thinking of the mere incorporation in their robes. Mrs. Garth parted Letty's head and smiled, but seeing that her husband was gathering up his letters, and likely soon to be out of reach in that sanctuary business, she pressed his shoulder and said emphatically. Now, mind you ask for a pay, Calib? Oh yes, said Calib, in a deep voice of assent, as if it would be unreasonable to suppose anything else with him. It'll come to between four and five hundred, the two together. Then with a little start of remembrance, he said, Mary, ride and give up that school, stay and help your mother. I'm as pleased as punch now, I thought of that. No manner could have been less like that of punch triumphant than Calib's. But his talents did not lie in finding freezes, though he was very particular about his later writing and regarded his wife as a treachery of correct language. There was almost an uproar among the children now, and Mary held up the cambric embroidery towards her mother intriguingly, that it might be put out of reach while the boys dragged her into a dance. Mrs. Garth and Placid Joy began to put the cups and plates together, while Calib, pushing his chair from the table, as if he were going to move to the desk, still sat holding his letters in his hand and looking on the ground meditatively, stretching out the fingers of his left hand according to a mute language of his own. At last he said, it's a thousand pitties, Christy didn't take the business, Susan. I shall want help by and by, and Alfred must go off to the engineering, I've made my mind up to that. He fell into meditation and finger a torque again for a little while and then continued. I shall make brook have new agreements with the tenants, and I shall draw up a rotation of crumps, and I'll lay a wager we can get fine bricks out of the clay at Mott's corner. I must look into that, it would cheapen the repairs. It's a fine bit of work, Susan, a man without a family would be glad to do it for nothing. Mind your tent, though, said his wife, lifting up her finger. No, no, but it's a fine thing to come to a man when he's seen into the nature of business, to have the chance of getting a bit of the country into good fettel, as they say, and putting men into the right way with their farming, and getting a bit of good contriving and solid building done, that those who are living and those who come after will be the better for. I'd sooner have it than a fortune. I hold it the most honourable work that is. Here Calipley, down his letters, thrust his fingers between the buttons of his waistcoat and sat upright, but presently proceeded with some awe in his voice, and moving his head slowly aside. It's a great gift of God, Susan. That it is, Calip, said his wife, thus answering further, and it will be a blessing to your children to have had a father who did such work, a father whose good work remains, though his name may be forgotten. She could not say any more to him than about the pea. In the evening, when Calip, rather tired with his day's work, was seated in silence with his pocketbook open on his knee, while Mrs. Garth and Mary were at their sowing, and Letty in her corner was whispering a dialogue with her doll, Mr. Fairbrother came up the orchard walk, dividing the bright August lights and shadows with the tufted grass and the apple tree bows. We know that he was fond of his parishioners, the Garthes, and had thought Mary worth mentioning to like it. He used to the fool, the clergyman's privilege of disregarding the middle-marched discrimination of ranks, and always told his mother that Mrs. Garth was more of a lady than any matron in the town. Still, you see, he spent his evenings at the Vinces, where the matron, though less of a lady, presided over a well-lit drawing room and wist. In those days, human intercourse was not determined solely by respect, but the vicar did heartily respect the Garthes, and a visit from him was no surprise to that family. Nevertheless, he accounted for it, even while he was shaking hands, by saying, I come as an envoy, Mrs. Garth, I have something to say to you in Garth, on behalf of Fred Vincy. The fact is, poor fellow, he continued as he seated himself and looked around with his bright glance at the three who were listening to him. He has taken me into his confidence. Mary's heart beat rather quickly. She wondered how far Fred's confidence had gone. We haven't seen the lad for months, said Colin. I couldn't think what was become of him. He has been away on a visit, said the vicar, because home was a little too hot for him, and Lightgate told his mother that the poor fellow must not begin to study yet. But yesterday he came and poured himself out to me. I am very glad he did, because I have seen him grow up from a youngster of fourteen, and I am so much at home in the house that the children are like nephews and nieces to me. But it is a difficult case to advise upon. However, he has asked me to come and tell you that he is going away, and that he is so miserable about his debt to you, and is the inability to pay that he can't bear to come himself even to bid you good-bye. Tell him it doesn't signify a farthing, said Caleb, waving his hand. We've had the pension got over it, and now I am going to be as rich as a Jew. Which means, said Mrs. Garth, smiling at the vicar, that we are going to have enough to bring up the boys well and to keep Mary at home. What does the treasure trove, said Mr. Fairbrother? I am going to be an agent for two estates, Freshit and Tipton, and perhaps for a pretty little bit of land in Lowick besides. It's all the same family connection and employment spreads like water if it's one set going. It makes me very happy, Mr. Fairbrother. Here, Caleb threw back his head a little and sprayed his arms on the elbows of his chair. That I've got an opportunity again with the letting of the land and carrying out a notion or two with improvements. It's the most uncommonly cramping thing, as I've often told Susan, to sit on a horseback and look over the hedges at the wrong thing and not be able to put your hand to it to make it right. What people do who go into politics, I can't think. It drives me almost mad to see mismanagement over only a few hundred acres. It was seldom that Caleb volunteered so long a speech, but his happiness had the effect of mountain air. His eyes were bright and the words came without effort. I congratulate you, Hartley Gath, said the Vicar. This is the best sort of news I could have had to carry to Fred Vincy, for he dwelt a good deal on the injury he has done you in causing you to part with money. Robbing you of it, he said, which he wanted for other purposes. I wish Fred were not such an idle dog. He has some very good points, and his father is a little hard on him. Where is he going? said Mrs. Gath, rather coldly. He means to try again for his degree, and is going up to a study before term. I have advised him to do that. I don't hurt him to enter the church, on the contrary. But if he will go and work so as to pass, that will be some guarantee that he has energy and a will, and he is quite at sea, he doesn't know what else to do. So far he will please his father, and I have promised in the meantime to try and reconcile Vincy to his sons adopting some other line of life. Fred says frankly he is not fit for the clergyman, and I would do anything I could to hinder a man from a fatal step of choosing the wrong profession. He quoted me what you said, Mrs. Gath, do you remember it? Mr. Fairbrother used to say Mary instead of Mrs. Gath, but it was part of his delicacy to treat her with more deference, because, according to Mrs. Vincy's phrase, she worked for her bread. Mary felt uncomfortable, but deterrent to take the matter lightly, answered it once, I have said so many important things to Fred. We are such old play-fellows. You said, according to him, that he would be one of those ridiculous clergymen who helped to make the whole clergy ridiculous. Really, that was so cutting that I felt a little cut myself. Caleb laughed. She gets a tongue from you, Susan, he said, with some enjoyment. Not at flippancy, father, said Mary quickly, fearing that her mother would be displeased. It is rather too bad of Fred to repeat my flippant speeches to Mr. Fairbrother. It was certainly a hasty speech, my dear, said Mrs. Gath, with whom speaking evil of dignities was a high misdemeanor. We should not value our vicar the less, because there was a ridiculous curate in the next parish. There's something in what she says, though, said Caleb, not disposed of Mary's sharpness undervalued. A bad workman of any sort makes his fellows mistrusted. Things hang together, he added, looking on the floor and moving his feet uneasily in the sense that words were scantier than thoughts. Clearly, said the vicar, amused, by being contemptible we set men's minds to the tune of contempt. I certainly agree with Mrs. Gath's view on the matter, whether I am condemned by it or not. But as to Fred Vincy, it is only fair he should be excused a little. Old Featherstone's delusive behaviour did help to spoil him. There was something quite diabolically not leaving him a farthing after all. But Fred has the good taste not to dwell on that. And what he cares most about is having offended you, Mrs. Gath. He supposes you will never think well of him again. I shall be disappointed in Fred, said Mrs. Gath with decision, but I shall be ready to think well of him again when he gives me good reason to do so. At this point, Mary went out of the room taking lightly with her. Oh, we must forgive young people when they're sorry, said Callop, watching Mary close the door. And as you say, Mr. Fairbrother, there was the very devil in that old man. Now Mary's gone out. I must tell you a thing. It's only known to Susan and me, and you'll not tell it again. The old scoundrel wanted Mary to burn one of the wills the very night he died. When she was sitting up with him by herself, and he offered her a sum of money that he had in the box by him if she would do it. But Mary, you understand, could do no such thing, would not be handling his iron chest and so on. Now you see, the will he wanted burned was this last. So that if Mary had done what he wanted, Fred Vincy would have had ten thousand pounds. The old man did turn to him at the last. That touches poor Mary close. She couldn't help it. She was in the right to do what she did, but she feels, as she says, much as if she had knocked down somebody's property and broken it against her will when she was rightfully defending herself. I feel with her somehow, and if I could make any amends to the poor lad instead of bearing him a grudge for the harm he did us, I should be glad to do it. What is your opinion, sir? Susan doesn't agree with me. She says, tell what she says, Susan. Mary could not have acted otherwise, even if she had known what would be the effect on Fred, said Mrs. Garth, posing from her work and looking at Mr. Fair Brother. And she was quite ignorant of it. It seems to me a law switch falls on another, because we have done right is not to lie upon our conscience. The vicar did not answer immediately, and Callum said, it's the feeling. The child feels in that way, and I feel with her. You don't mean your host to threaten a dog while you're backing out of the way, but it goes through you when it's done. I am sure Mrs. Garth would agree with you there, said Mr. Fair Brother, who for some reason seem more inclined to ruminate than to speak. One could hardly say that the feeling you mentioned about Fred is wrong, or rather mistaken, though no man ought to make a claim on such feeling. Well, well, said Callum, it's a secret you will not tell Fred. Certainly not, but I shall carry the other good news that you can afford a loss he caused you. Mr. Fair Brother left the house soon after, and seeing Mary in the orchard with Letty, went to say goodbye to her. They made a pretty picture in the western light, which brought out the brightness of the apples on the old scantly boughs. Mary in her lavender gingham and black ribbons holding a basket, while Letty in her well-worn nankin picked up the fallen apples. If you want to know more, particularly how Mary looked, ten to one, you will see a face like hers in the crowded street tomorrow, if you were there on the watch. She will not be among those daughters of Zion, who are haughty and walk with stretched-out necks and wanton eyes, mincing as they go, let all those pass, and fix your eyes on some small, plump, brownish person of firm but quiet courage, who looks about her but does not suppose that anyone is looking at her. If she has a broad face and square brow, well-marked eyebrows and curly dark hair, a certain expression of amusement in her glance, which her mouth keeps the secret of, and for the rest features entirely insignificant, take that ordinary but not disagreeable person for a portrait of Mary Garth. If you made her smile, she would show you perfect little teeth. If you made her angry, she would not raise her voice, but would probably say one of the bitterest things you would ever taste the flavour of. If you did her a kindness, she would never forget it. Mary admired the keen-faced, handsome little vigor in his well-brust, threadbare clothes, more than any man she had had the opportunity of knowing. She had never heard him say a foolish thing, though she knew that he did unwise ones, and perhaps foolish shagues were more objectionable to her than any of Mr Fairbrothers' unwise doings. At least, it was remarkable that the actual imperfections of the vicar's clerical character never seemed to call forth the same scorn and dislike which he showed beforehand for the predicted imperfections of the clerical character sustained by Fred Vincy. The easy regularities of judgement, I imagine, are found even in riper minds, the Mary Garth. Our impartiality is kept for abstract merit and demerit, which none of us ever saw. Will anyone guess towards which of those widely different men Mary had the peculiar woman's tenderness, the one she was most inclined to be severe on, or the contrary? Have you any message for your old playfellow, Miss Garth? said the vicar, as he took a fragrant apple from the basket which he held towards him and put it in his pocket. Something to soften down that harsh judgement? I am going straight to see him. No, said Mary, shaking her head and smiling. If I were to say that he would not be ridiculous as a clergyman, I must say he would be something worse than ridiculous. But I am very glad to hear that he is going away to work. On the other hand, I am very glad to hear that you are not going away to work. My mother, I am sure, will be all the happier if you will come to see her at the vicarage. You know she is fond of having young people to talk to, and she has a great deal to tell about old times. You will really be doing a kindness. I should like it very much, if I may, said Mary. Everything seems too happy for me all at once. I thought it would always be part of my life to long for home, and losing that grievance makes me feel rather empty. I suppose it is certain that I have sense to fill up my mind. May I go with you, Mary? Whispered Lethe, a most inconvenient child who listened to everything, but she was made exultant by having her chin pinched and her cheek kissed by Mr Fairbrother, an incident which he narrated to her mother and father. As the vicar walked to Lowick, anyone watching him closely might have seen him twice shrug his shoulders. I think that the rare Englishmen who have this gesture are never of the heavy type. For fear of any lumbering instance to the contrary, I will say hardly ever. They usually have a fine temperament and much tolerance towards the smaller areas of men, themselves inclusive. The vicar was holding an inward dialogue in which he told himself that there were probably something more between Fred and Mary Garth than the regard of old playfellows, and replied with a question whether that bit of womanhood were not a great deal to choice for that crude young gentleman. The rejoined to this was the first shrug. Then he laughed at himself for being likely to have felt jealous, as if he had been a man able to marry, which added he, it is as clear as any balance sheet that I am not, whereupon followed the second shrug. What could two men so different from each other see in this brown patch as Mary called herself? It was certainly not her plainness that attracted them, and let all plain young ladies be warned against the dangerous encouragement given them by society to confide in their want of beauty. A human being in this aged nation of ours is a very wonderful whole, the slow creation of long, interchanging influences, and charm as a result of two such holes, the one loving and the one loved. When Mr. and Mrs. Garth were sitting alone, Calib said, Susan, guess what I'm thinking of? The rotation of crops, said Mrs. Garth, smiling to him above her netting, or else the back doors of the Tibetan cottages. No, said Calib gravely. I'm thinking that I could do a great turn for Fred Vincy. Christie's gone, Alfred will be gone soon, and it will be five years before Jim is ready to take the business. I should want help, and Fred might come in and learn the nature of things and act under me, and it might be the making of him into a useful man if he gives up being a parson. What do you think? I think there is hardly anything honest that his family would object to more, said Mrs. Garth, decidedly. What care I about their objecting? Said Calib with his sturdiness which was apt to show when he had an opinion. The lad is of age and must get his bread. He has sense enough and quickness enough. He likes being on the land, and it's my belief that he could learn business well if he gave his mind to it. But would he? His father and mother wanted him to be a fine gentleman, and I think he has the same sort of feeling himself. They all think us beneath them, and if the proposal came from you, I'm sure Mrs. Vincy would say we wanted Fred for Mary. Life is a poor tale if it is to be settled by nonsense of that sort, said Calib with disgust. Yes, but there is a certain pride which is proper, Calib. I call it improper pride to let fools and oceans hinder you from doing a good action. There's no sort of work, said Calib with fervour, putting out his hand and moving it up and down to mark his emphasis that could ever be done well if you minded what fools say. You must have it inside you that your plan is right, and that plan you must follow. I will not oppose any plan you have set your mind on, Calib, said Mrs. Garth, who's a firm woman, but knew that there were some points that his husband was yet firm. Still, it seems to be fixed that Fred is to go back to college. Would it not be better to wait and see what he will choose to do after that? It is not easy to keep people against their will, and you are not yet quite sure enough of your own position or what you will want. Well, it may be better to wait a bit, but as to my getting plenty of work to do, I'm pretty sure of that. I've always had my hands full of scattered things and there's always something fresh turning up. Why only yesterday? Bless me, I don't think I told you. It was rather odd that two men should have been at me on different sides due to the same bit of valuing. And who do you think they were? Said Calib, taking a pinch of stuff and holding it up between his fingers, as if it were part of his exposition. He was fond of a pinch when it occurred to him, but he usually forgot that this indulgence was at his command. Calib, held down her netting and looked attentive. Why that rig gore? Rig Felastome was one, but Bullstrode was before him, so I'm going to do it for Bullstrode. Whether it's mortgage or purchase they're going for, I can't tell yet. Can't it men be going to sell the land, just left him, which he has taken the name for? Said Mrs. Garth. Juice knows, said Calib, who never effort the knowledge of any higher powers than the deuce. But Bullstrode has long been wanting to get a hand some bit of land at his fingers, that I know, and it's a difficult man to get in this part of the country. Calib scattered his snuff carefully instead of taking it and then added, the ins and outs of things are curious. Here is the land they've been all along expecting for Fred, which it seems the old man never meant to leave him a foot off, but left it to this side slip and kept in the dark, and thought of his sticking there and vexing everybody as well as he could have vexed him himself if he could have kept alive. I say, it would be curious if it got into Bullstrode's hands after all. The old man hated him and would never bank with him. What reason could the miserable creature have for hating a man whom he had nothing to do with? Said Mrs. Garth. Poo! Where's the use of asking for such fellow's reasons? The soul of man! Said Calib, with the deep tone and grave shake of the head which always came when he used this phrase. The soul of man, when it gets fairly rotten, will bear you all sorts of poisonous toadstools and no eye can see whence came the seed thereof. It was one of Calib's quaintnesses that in his difficulty of finding speech for his thought he caught, as it were, a snatch which he associated with various points of view or states of mind. And whenever he had a feeling of awe he was haunted with a sense of Biblical phraseology though he could hardly have given a strict quotation. End of chapter 40 Recording by Andy from Inver-Arnen, Scotland M-E-L-Y-S dot W-S Chapter 41 of Middlemarch This is a LibroVox Recording All LibroVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibroVox.org Chapter 41 By swaggering could I never thrive for the raineth every day twelve night. The transactions referred to by Calib Garth as having gone forward between Mr. Bullstrow Mr. Joshua Rigfeatherstone concerning the land attached to Stone Court had occasioned the interchange of a letter or two between these personages. Who shall tell what may be the effect of writing? If it happens to have been cut in stone though it lie faced down most for ages on a forsaken beach or rest quietly under the drums and tramplings of many conquests it may end by letting us into the secret of use our patients and other scandals gossiped about long empires ago. This world being apparently a huge whispering gallery such conditions are often minutely represented in our petty lifetimes as the stone which has been kicked by generations of clowns may come by curious little links of effect under the eyes of a scholar through whose labours it may at last fix the date of invasions and unlock religions so a bit of ink and paper which has long been an innocent wrapping or stopgap may at last be laid open under the one pair of eyes which have knowledge enough to turn it into the opening of a catastrophe. To Uriel watching the progress of planetary history from the sun the one result would be just as much of a coincidence as the other. Having me this rather lofty comparison I am less uneasy in calling the attention to the existence of low people by whose interference however little we may like it the course of the world is very much determined it would be well certainly if we could help to reduce their number and something might perhaps be done by not lightly giving occasion to their existence. Socially speaking, Joshua Rigg would have been generally pronounced as superfluity but those who like Peter Featherstone never had a copy of themselves demanded the very last to wait for such a request either in prose or verse the copy in this case bore more of outside resemblance to the mother in whose six frog features accompanied with fresh coloured cheeks and a well rounded figure are compatible with much charm for a certain order of admirers the result is sometimes a frog-faith male desirable surely to no order of intelligent beings especially when he is suddenly brought into evidence to frustrate other people's expectations the very lowest aspect in which his social superfluity can present himself but Mr. Rigg Featherstone's low characteristics were all of the sober water drinking kind from the earliest to the latest hour of the day he was always sleek, neat and cool as the frog he resembled and old Peter had secretly chuckled over an offshoot almost more calculating and far more imperturbable than himself I will add that his fingernails were scrupulously attended to and that he meant to marry a well educated young lady as yet unspecified whose person was good and whose connections in a solid middle-class way were undeniable thus his nails and modesty were comparable to those of most gentlemen though his ambition had been educated only by the opportunities of a clerk and accountant in the smaller commercial houses of a seaport he thought the rural Featherstone's very simple, absurd people and, they in their turn regarded his bringing up in a seaport town as an exaggeration of the monstrosity that their brother Peter and Stelmo Peter's property should have had such belongings the garden and gravel approach as seen from the two windows of the Wayne-Scoted Parlor at Stonecourt were never in better trim than now when Mr. Rig Featherstone stood with his hands behind him looking out on his grounds as their master but it seemed doubtful whether he looked out for the sake of contemplation or of turning his back to a person who stood in the middle of the room with his legs considerably apart and his hands in his trouser pockets a person in all respects a contrast to the sleek and cool Rig he was a man obviously on the way towards 60 very floored and hairy with much grey in his bushy whiskers and thick curly hair a stoutish body which showed to disadvantage the somewhat worn joining of his clothing and the air of a swaggerer who would aim at being noticeable even at a show of fireworks regarding his own remarks on any other person's performance as likely to be more interesting than the performance itself his name was John Raffles and he sometimes wrote jocously W.A.G. after his signature observing when he did so that he was once taught by Leonard Lamb of Finsbury who wrote B.A.A. after his name and that he, Raffles, originated the witticism of calling that celebrated principal Bar Lamb such were the appearance a mental flavour of Mr. Raffles both of which seemed to have a stale order of travellers' rooms in the commercial hotels of that period come now, Josh he was saying in a full rumbling tone look at it in this light here is your poor mother going into the veil of years and you could afford something handsome now to make her comfortable not while you live nothing would make her comfortable not while you live, returned rig and his cool high voice what I give her you'll take you bear me a grudge, George, that I know but come now as between man and man without humbug a little capital might enable me to make a first-rate thing of the shop the tobacco trade is growing I should cut my nose off in not doing the best I could at it I should stick to it like a flea to a fleece for my own sake I should always be on the spot nothing would make your poor mother so happy I've pretty well done it with my Wild Oats turn 55 I want to settle down in my chimney corner and if I once buckled to the tobacco trade I could bring an amount of brains and experience to bear on it that would not be found elsewhere in a hurry I don't want to be bothering you one time after another but to get things once for all into the right channel consider that, Josh, as between man and man and with your poor mother to be made easy for her life I was always fond of the old woman by Jove have you done said Mr. Rig quietly without looking away from the window yes, I'm done, said Raffles taking hold of his hat which stood before him on the table and giving it a sort of oratorial push then just listen to me the more you say anything the less I shall believe it the more you want me to do a thing the more reason I shall have for never doing it do you think I mean to forget you're kicking me when I was a lad and eating all the best victual away from me and my mother do you think I forgot you're always coming home to sell and pocket everything and going off again leaving us in the lurch I should be glad to see you whipped at the cart tail there was a fool to you she'd no right to leave me a father in law and she's been punished for it she shall have a daily allowance paid and no more and that shall be stopped if you dare to come onto these premises again or to come into this country after me again the next time you show yourself inside the gates here you shall be driven off with the dogs in the wagon whip as Riggs pronounced the last words looked at Raffles with his prominent frozen eyes the contrast was as striking as it could have been 18 years before when Riggs was a most unengaging kickable boy and Raffles was the rather thick-set adonis of bar rooms and back parlours but the advantage now was on the right side of Riggs and auditors of this conversation might probably have expected that Raffles would retire with the air of a defeated dog not at all he made a grimace which was habitual from him whenever he was out in the game then subsided into a laugh and drew a brandy flask from his pocket come, George he said in a cajoling tone give us a spoonful of brandy and a sovereign to pay the way back and I'll go on a bride I'll go like a bullet by Jove mind said Riggs drawing out a bunch of keys if I ever see you again I shan't speak to you I don't own you any more than if I saw a crow than if you want to own me you'll get nothing by it but a character for being what you are a spiteful brassy, bullying rogue that's a pity no, George said Raffles affecting to scratch his head and wrinkle his brows upward as if he was nonplussed I'm very fond of you by Jove I am there's nothing I like better than plaguing you you're so like your mother and I must do without it but the brandy and the sovereigns are bargain he jerked forward the flask and Riggs went to a fine old oak and bureau with his keys but Raffles had reminded himself by his movement with the flask that it had become dangerously loose from its leather covering on the side of a folded paper which had fallen within the fender he took it up and shoved it under the leather so as to make the glass firm by that time Riggs came forward with the brandy bottle filled the flask and handed Raffles the sovereign neither looking at him nor speaking to him after looking up the bureau again he walked the window and gazed out as impassibly as he had done at the beginning of the interview while Raffles took a small allowance from the flask screwed it up and deposited it in his side pocket with provoking slowness making a grimace at his stepson's back farewell Josh and if forever said Raffles turning back his head as he opened the door Riggs saw him leave the grounds and enter the lane the great day had turned to a light drizzling rain which freshened the hedgerows and the grassy borders of the byroads and hastened the labourers who were loading the last strokes of corn Raffles walking with the uneasy gait of a town loiterer obliged to a bit of country journey on foot looked as incongruous amid this moist rural quiet and industry as if he had been a baboon escaped from a minagerie but there were none to stare at him except the long-weaned calves and none to show dislike of his appearance except the little water rats rustled away at his approach he was fortunate enough when he got onto the high road to be overtaken by the stagecoach which carried him to Brassing and there he took the new-made railway observing to his fellow passengers that he considered it pretty well seasoned now it had done for Huskusen Mr. Raffles on most occasions kept up the sense of having been educated in the academy and being able if he chose to pass well everywhere indeed there was not one of his fellow men whom he did not feel himself in a position to ridicule and torment confident of the entertainment which he thus gave to all the rest of the company he played this part now with as much spirit as if his journey had been entirely successful resorting at frequent intervals to his flask the paper with which he wedged it was a letter signed by Nicholas Bulstrode but Raffles was not likely to disturb it from its present useful position End of Chapter 41 Recording by Andy from Inverahnen M-E-L-Y-S Dot W-S Chapter 42 of Middlemarch This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer LibriVox.org Recording by Red Abrus Middlemarch by George Iliad Chapter 42 How much me thinks I could despise this man where I not bound in charity against it Shakespeare, Henry VIII One of the professional calls made by Litgate soon after his return from his wedding journey was to Lovick Manor in consequence of a letter which had requested him to fix a time for his visit Mr. Cosabon had never put any question concerning the nature of his illness to Litgate nor had he even to Dorothea betrayed any anxiety as to how far it might be likely to cut short his labours or his life On this point, as on all others he shrank from pity and if the suspicion of being pitied for anything in his lot surmised or known in spite of himself was embittering the idea of calling forth a show of compassion by frankly admitting an alarm or a sorrow was necessarily intolerable to him Every proud mind knows something of this experience and perhaps it is only to be overcome by a sense of fellowship deep enough to make all efforts at isolation seem mean and petty instead of exalting But Mr. Cosabon was now brooding over something through which the question of his health and life haunted his silence with a more harassing importunity even then through the autumnal unripeness of his authorship It is true that this last might be called his central ambition but there are some kinds of authorship in which by far the largest result is the uneasy susceptibility accumulated in the consciousness of the author One knows of the river by a few strikes amid a long-gathered deposit of uncomfortable mud That was the way with Mr. Cosabon's hard intellectual labours Their most characteristic result was not the key to all mythologies but a morbid consciousness that others did not give him the place which he had not demonstrably merited a perpetual suspicious conjecture that the views entertained of him were not to his advantage. A melancholy absence of passion in his efforts at achievement and a passionate resistance to the confession that he had achieved nothing Thus his intellectual ambition which seemed to others to have observed and dried him was really no security against wounds least of all against those which came from Dorothea and he had begun now to frame possibilities for the future which were somehow more embittering than anything his mind had dwelt on before. Against certain facts he was helpless. Against Will Ladislaw's existence his defiant stay in the neighborhood of Lovik and his flippant state of mind with regard to the possessors of authentic well-stamped erudition against Dorothea's nature always taking on some new shape of ardent activity and even in the submission and silence covering fervid reasons which it was a passion to think of. Against certain notions and likings which had taken possession of her mind in relation to subjects that he could not possibly discuss with her there was no denying that Dorothea was as virtuous and lovely a young lady as he could have obtained for a wife. But a young lady turned out to be something more troublesome than he had conceived. She nursed him she read to him she anticipated his wants and was solicitous about his feelings. But there had entered into the husband's mind the certainty that she judged him and that her wifely devotedness was like a penitential expiation of unbelieving thoughts was accompanied with a power of comparison by which himself and his doings were seen too luminously as a part of things in general. His discontent passed vapor like through all her gentle loving manifestations and clung to that inappreciative world which she had only brought nearer to him. Poor Mr. Kosovan. This suffering was the harder to bear because it seemed like a betrayal. The young creature who had worshipped him with perfect trust had quickly turned into the critical wife and early instances of criticism and resentment had made an impression which no tenderness and submission afterwards could remove. To his suspicious interpretation Dorothea's silence now was a suppressed rebellion. A remark from her which he had not in any way anticipated was an assertion of consciousness superiority. Her gentle answers had an irritating consciousness in them and when she acquiesced it was a self approved effort of forbearance the tenacity with which he strove to hide this inward drama made it the more vivid for him as we hear with the more tenderness what we wish others not to hear. Instead of wandering at this result of misery in Mr. Kosovan I think it quite ordinary. Will not at any spec very close to our vision blot out the glory of the world and live only a margin by which we see the blot? I know no spec so troublesome as self and who if Mr. Kosovan had chosen to expound his discontents. His suspicions that he was not adored without criticism could have denied that they were founded on good reasons. On the contrary there was a strong reason to be added which he had not himself taken explicitly into account namely that he was not unmixedly adorable. He suspected this however as he suspected other things without confessing it and like the rest of us felt how soothing it would have been to have a companion who would never find it out. This source of susceptibility in relation to Dorothea was thoroughly prepared before Will Ladislaw had returned to Lovik and what had occurred since then had brought Mr. Kosovan's power of suspicious construction into exasperated activity. To all the facts which he knew he added imaginary facts both present and future which became more real to him than those because they called up a stronger dislike a more illuminating bitterness. Suspicion and jealousy of Will Ladislaw's intentions, suspicion and jealousy of Dorothea's impressions were constantly at their weaving work. It would be quite unjust to him to suppose that he could have entered into any course misinterpretation of Dorothea. His own habits of mind and conduct quite as much as the open elevation of our nature saved him from any such mistake. What he was jealous of was communion, the sway that might be given to her ardent mind in its judgments and the future possibilities to which these might lead her. As to Will, though until his last defiant letter he had nothing definite which he would choose formally to allege against him. He felt himself warranted in believing that he was capable of any design which could fascinate a rebellious temper and an undisciplined impulsiveness. He was quite sure that Dorothea was the cause of Will's return from Rome and his determination to settle in the neighborhood and he was penetrating enough to imagine that Dorothea had innocently encouraged this course. It was as clear as possible that she was ready to be attached to Will and to be plain to his suggestions. They had never had a day to day without her bringing away from it some new troublesome impression and the last interview that Mr. Bowman was aware of. Dorothea on returning from fresh heat hall had for the first time been silent about having seen Will. Had led to a scene which roused an angrier feeling against them both than he had ever known before. Dorothea's outpouring of her notions about money in the darkness of the night had done nothing but bring a mixture of more odious foreboding into her husband's mind and there was the shock lately that his health always sadly present with him. He was certainly much revived. He had recovered all his usual power of work. The illness might have been more fatigue and there might still be 20 years of achievement before him which would justify the 30 years of preparation. That prospect was made the sweeter by a flavor of vengeance against the hasty snares of carp and company. For even when Mr. Cossabon was carrying his taper cast those modern figures came at what the dim light and interrupted his diligent exploration to convince carp of his mistake so that he would have to eat his own words with a good deal of indigestion would be an agreeable accident of triumphant authorship which the prospect of living to future ages on earth and to all eternity in heaven could not exclude from contemplation. Since thus the prevision of his own unending bliss could not nullify the bitter savers of irritated jealousy and vindictiveness it is the less surprising that the probability of a transient earthly bliss for other persons when he himself should have entered into glory had not a potently sweetening effect. If the truth should be that some undermining disease was at work within him there might be large opportunity for some people to be the happier when he was gone and if one of those people should be Will Ladislaw Mr. Kossabon objected so strongly that it seemed as if the annoyance would make part of his disembodied existence. This is a very bare and therefore a very incomplete way of putting the case. The human soul moves in many channels and Mr. Kossabon we know had a sense of rectitude and an honourable pride in satisfying the requirements of honour which compelled him to find other reasons for his conduct than those of jealousy and vindictiveness. The way in which Mr. Kossabon put the case was this in marrying Dorothea Brooke I had to care for her well-being in case of my death but well-being is not to be secured by ample independent possession of property. On the contrary occasions might arise in which such possession might expose her to the more danger. She is ready prey to any man who knows how to play adroitly either on her affectionate order or her quixotic enthusiasm and a man stands by with that very intention in his mind a man with no other principle than transient caprice and who has a personal animosity towards me I'm sure of it an animosity which is fed by the consciousness of his ingratitude and which he has constantly vented in ridicule of which I am as well assured as if I had heard it even if I live I shall not be without uneasiness as to what he may attempt through indirect influence this man has gained Dorothea's ear he has fascinated her attention he has evidently tried to impress her mind with the notion that he has claims beyond anything I have done for him if I die and he's waiting here on the watch for that he will persuade her to marry him that would be calamity for her and success for him she would not think it calamity he would make her believe anything she has a tendency to immoderate attachment which she inwardly reproaches me for not responding to and already her mind is occupied with his fortunes he thinks of an easy conquest and of entering into my nest that I will hinder such a marriage would be fatal to Dorothea has he ever persisted in anything except from contradiction in knowledge he has always tried to be showy at small cost in religion he could be as long as it suited him the facile echo of Dorothea's vagaries when was chaiolism ever dissociated from laxity I utterly distrust his morals and it is my duty to hinder to the utmost the fulfillment of his designs the arrangements made by Mr. Kosobon on his marriage left strong measures open to him but in ruminating on them his mind inevitably dwelt so much on the probabilities of his own life that the longing to get the nearest possible calculation had at last overcome his proud reticence and had determined him to ask Lidgate's opinion as to the nature of his illness he had mentioned to Dorothea that Lidgate was coming by appointment at half past three and in answer to her anxious question whether he had felt ill replied no I merely wish to have his opinion concerning some habitual symptoms you need not see him my dear I shall give orders that he may be sent to me in the you tree walk where I shall be taking my usual exercise when Lidgate entered the you tree walk he saw Mr. Kosobon slowly receding with his hands behind him according to his habit and his head went forward it was a lovely afternoon the leaves from the lofty limes were falling silently across the somber evergreens while the lights and shadows slept side by side there was no sound but the calling of the rooks which to the accustomed ear is a lullaby or that last solemn lullaby a dirge Lidgate conscious of an energetic frame in its prime felt some compassion when the figure which he was likely soon to overtake turned round and in advancing towards him showed more markedly than ever the signs of premature age the students bent shoulders the emaciated limbs and the melancholy lines of the mouth poor fellow he thought some men with his ears are like lions one can tell nothing of their age except that they are full grown Mr. Lidgate said Mr. Kosobon with his invariably polite air I'm exceedingly obliged to you for spirituality we will if you please carry on our conversation in walking to and fro I hope your wish to see me is not due to the return of unpleasant symptoms said Lidgate filling up a pause not immediately no in order to account for that wish I must mention what it were otherwise needless to refer to that my life on all collateral accounts insignificant derives a noble importance from the incompleteness of labours which have extended through all its best years in short I have long had on hand a work which I would faint leave behind me in such a state at least that it might be committed to the press by others where I assured that this is the utmost I can reasonably expect that assurance would be a useful circumscription of my attempts and a guide in both the positive and negative information of my course here Mr. Cossibon paused removed one hand from his back and trusted between the buttons of his single breasted coat to a mind largely instructed in the human destiny hardly anything could be more interesting than the inward conflict implied in his formal measured address delivered with the usual sing song and motion of the head nay are there many situations more sublimely tragic than the struggle of the soul which the demand to renounce a work which has been all the significance of its life a significance which is to vanish as the waters which come and go where no man has need of them but there was nothing to strike others as sublime about Mr. Cossibon and litgate who had some contempt at hand for futile scholarship felt a little amusement mingling with his pity he was at present too ill acquainted with disaster to enter into the pathos of a lot where everything is below the level of tragedy except the passionate egoism of the sufferer you refer to the possible hindrances from want of health he said wishing to help forward Mr. Cossibon's purpose which seems to be clogged by some hesitation I do you have not implied to me that the symptoms which are bound to testify you watched with scrupulous care where those of a fatal disease but where it so Mr. Litgate I should desire to know the truth without reservation and I appeal to you for an exact statement of your conclusions I request it as a friendly service if you can tell me that my life is not threatened by anything else than ordinary casualties I shall rejoice on grounds which I have already indicated that knowledge of the truth is even more important to me then I can no longer hesitate as to my course said Litgate but the first thing I must impress on you is that my conclusions are doubly uncertain uncertain not only because of my fallibility but because diseases of the heart are eminently difficult to found predictions on in any ease one can hardly increase appreciably the tremendous uncertainty of life Gossip on winst perceptibly but bored I believe that you are suffering from what is called fatty degeneration of the heart a disease which was first defined and explored by Laneck the man who gave us the stethoscope not so very many years ago a good deal of experience a more lengthy observation is wanting on the subject but after what you have said it is my duty to tell you that death from this disease is often sudden at the same time no such result can be predicted your condition may be consistent with a tolerably comfortable life for another 15 years or even more I could add no information to this beyond anatomical or medical details which would leave expectation at precisely the same point Litgate's instinct was fine enough to tell him that plane speech quite free from ostentatious caution would be felt by Mr. Kossabon as a tribute of respect I thank you Mr. Litgate said Mr. Kossabon after a moment's pause one thing more I have still to ask did you communicate what you have now told me to Mrs. Kossabon partly I mean as to the possible issues that gate was going to explain why he had told Dorothea but Mr. Kossabon with an unmistakable desire to end the conversation hand slightly and said again I thank you proceeding to remark on the rare beauty of the day Litgate's certain that his patient wished to be alone soon left him and the black figure with hands behind and head bent forward continued to pace the walk where the dark you trees gave him a mute companionship in melancholy and the little shadows of bird or leaf that fleeted across the aisles of sunlight stole along in silence as in the presence of a sorrow here was a man who now for the first time found himself looking into the eyes of death who was passing through one of those rare moments of experience when we feel the truth of a commonplace which is as different from what we call knowing it as the vision of waters upon the earth is different from the delirious vision of the water which cannot be had to cool the burning tongue when the commonplace we must all die transforms itself suddenly into the acute consciousness I must die and soon then death grapples us and his fingers are cruel afterwards he may come to fold us in his arms as our mother did and our last moment of dim earthly discerning may be like the first to Mr. Kausabar now it was as if he suddenly found himself on the dark river brink and heard the flash of an oncoming oar not discerning the farms but expecting the summons in such an hour the mind does not change its lifelong bias but carries it onward in imagination to the other side of death gazing backward perhaps with the divine calm of beneficence perhaps with the petty anxieties of self-assertion what was Mr. Kausabar's bias his acts will give us a clue to he held himself to be with some private scholarly reservations a believing Christian as to estimates of the present and hopes of the future but what we strive to gratify though we may call it a distant hope is an immediate desire the future estate for which men dredge up city alleys exists already in their imagination and love and Mr. Kausabar's immediate desire was not for divine communion and light divested of earthly conditions his passionate longings for man clung low and mislike in very shady places Dorothea had been aware when Lidgit had written away and she had stepped into the garden with the impulse to go at once to her husband but she hesitated fearing to offend him by obtruding herself for her ardour continually repulsed served with her intense memory to heighten her dread as thwarted energy subsides into a ladder and she wandered slowly round the nearer clumps of trees until she saw him advancing then she went towards him and might have represented a heaven sent angel coming with a promise that the short hours remaining should yet be filled with that faithful love which clings the closure to a comprehend grief his glance and reply to hers was so chill that she felt her timidity increased yet she turned and passed her hand through his arm Mr. Cosabon kept his hands behind him and allowed her pleant arm to cling with difficulty against his rigid arm there was something horrible to Dorothea in the sensation which this unresponsive hardness inflicted on her that is a strong word but not too strong it is in these acts called trivialities that the seeds of joy are forever wasted until men and women look round haggard faces at the devastation their own waste has made and say the earth bears no harvest of sweetness calling their denial knowledge you may ask why in the name of manliness Mr. Cosabon should have behaved in that way consider that his was a mind which shrank from pity have you ever watched in such a mind the effect of a suspicion that what is pressing it as a grief may be really a source of contentment either actual or future to the being who already offends by pity besides he knew little of Dorothea's sensations and had not reflected that on such occasion as the present they were comparable in strength to his own sensibilities about carps criticisms Dorothea did not withdraw her arm but she could not venture to speak Mr. Cosabon did not say I wish to be alone but he directed his steps in silence towards the house and as they entered by the glass door on the eastern side Dorothea withdrew her arm and lingered on the matting that she might leave her husband quite free he entered the library and shut himself in alone with his sorrow she went up to her border the open bow window let in the serene glory of the afternoon lying in the avenue where the lime trees cast long shadows but Dorothea knew nothing of the scene she threw herself on a chair not heeding that she was in the dazzling sun rays if there were discomfort in that how could she tell that it was not part of her inward misery she was in the reaction of a rebellious anger stronger than any she had felt since her marriage instead of tears there came words what have I done what am I that he should treat me so he never knows what is in my mind he never cares what is the use of anything I do he wishes he had never married me she began to hear herself and was checked into stillness like one who has lost his way and is weary she sat and saw as in one glance all the parts of her young hope which she should never find again and just as clearly in the miserable light she saw her own and her husband's solitude how they walked apart so that she was obliged to survey him if he had drawn her towards him she would never have surveyed him never have said is he worth living for but would have felt him simply a part of her own life now she said bitterly it is his fault not mine in the jar of her whole being pity was overthrown was it her fault that she had believed in him had believed in his worthiness and what exactly was he she was able enough to estimate him she who waited on his glances with trembling and shut her best soul in prison paying it only hidden visits that she might be petty enough to please him in such a crisis as this some women begin to hate the sun was low when Dorothea was thinking that she would not go down again but would send a message to her husband saying that she was not well and preferred remaining upstairs she had never deliberately allowed her resentment to govern her in this way before but she believed now that she could not see him again without telling him the truth about her feeling and she must wait till she could do it without interruption he might wonder and be hurt at her message it was good that he should wonder and be hurt her anger said as anger is apt to say that God was with her that all heaven though it were crowded with spirits watching them must be on her side she had determined to ring her bell when there came a rap at the door Mr. Gossabon had sent to say that he would have his dinner in the library he wished to be quite alone this evening being much occupied I shall not dine then tantrip oh madam let me bring you a little something no I am not well get everything in my dressing room but pray do not disturb me again Dorothea sat almost motionless in her meditative struggle while the evening slowly deepened into night but the struggle changed continually as that of a man who begins with a movement towards striking and ends with conquering his desire to strike the energy that would animate a crime is not more than is wanted to inspire a resolved submission to the noble habit of the soul reassert itself that thought with which Dorothea had gone out to meet her husband her conviction that he had been asking about the possible arrest of all his work and that the answer must have rung his heart could not be long without rising beside the image of him like a shadowy monitor looking at her anger with sad remonstrance it cost her a litany of pictured sorrows and of silent cries that she might be the mercy for those sorrows but the resolved submission did come and when the house was still and she knew that it was near the time when Mr. Cosabon habitually went to rest she opened her door gently and stood outside in the darkness waiting for his coming upstairs with a light in his hand if it did not come soon she thought that she would go down and even risk incurring another pang so again expect anything else but she did hear the library door open and slowly the light advanced up the staircase without noise from the footsteps on the carpet when her husband stood opposite to her she saw that his face was more haggard he started slightly unseeing her and she looked up at him beseechingly without speaking Dorothea he said with a gentle surprise in his tone were you waiting for me yes I did not like to disturb you come my dear come you are young and need not to extend your life by watching when the kind quiet melancholy of that speech fell on Dorothea's ears she felt something like the thankfulness that might well up in us if we had narrowly escaped hurting a lame creature she put her hand into her husbands and they went along the broad corridor together end of chapter 42 recording by Red Abrus January 2008 chapter 43 of middle march this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Red Abrus middle march by George Elliott chapter 43 this figure hath high price was wrought with love ages ago in finest ivory not modest in it pure and noble lines of generous womanhood that fits all time that too is costly where Majolica of deft design to please a lordly eye the smile you see is perfect wonderful as mere feins a table ornament to suit the richest mounting Dorothea seldom left home without her husband but she did occasionally drive into middle march alone on little errands of shopping or charity such as occur to every lady of any wealth when she lives within three miles of a town two days after that scene in the U-Tree walk she determined to use such an opportunity in order if possible to see Lidgate and learn from him whether her husband had really felt any depressing change of symptoms which he was concealing from her and whether he had insisted on knowing the utmost about himself she felt almost guilty in asking for knowledge about him from another but the dread of being without it the dread of that ignorance which would make her unjust or hard overcame every scruple that there had been some crisis in her husband's mind when she was certain he had the very next day begun a new method of arranging his notes and had associated her quite newly in carrying out his plan poor Dorothea needed to lay up stores of patients it was about four o'clock when she drove to Lidgate's house in Lowick gate wishing in her immediate doubt of finding him at home that she had written beforehand and he was not at home said Dorothea who had never that she knew of seen Rosamund but now remembered the fact of the marriage yes, Mrs. Lidgate was at home I will go in and speak to her if she will allow me will you ask her if she can see me see Mrs. Cossabone for a few minutes when the servant had gone to deliver that message Dorothea could hear sounds of music through an open window a few notes from a man's voice and then a piano bursting into rollades but the rollades broke off suddenly and then the servant came back saying that Mrs. Lidgate would be happy to see Mrs. Cossabone when the drawing room door opened and Dorothea entered there was a sort of contrast not infrequent in country life when the habits of different ranks were less blunt than now let those who know tell us exactly what stuff it was Dorothea wore in those days of mild autumn that thin white woolen soft to the touch and soft to the eye it always seemed to have been lately washed and to smell of the sweet hedges was always in the shape of a pellicy with sleeves hanging all out of the fashion yet if she had entered before a still audience as Emojin or Kato's daughter the dress might have seemed right enough the grace and dignity were in her limbs and neck and about her simply parted hair and candid eyes the large round poke which was then in the fate of women seemed no more odd as a headdress than the gold trencher we call a halo by the present audience of two persons no dramatic heroine could have been expected with more interest than Mrs. Cossabone to Rosamond she was one of those county divinities not mixing with middle-march mortality whose slightest marks of manner or appearance were worthy of her study moreover Rosamond was not without satisfaction that Mrs. Cossabone should have an opportunity of studying her what is the use of being exquisite if you are not seen by the best judges and since Rosamond had received the highest compliments at her Godwin lit gates she felt quite confident of the vision she must make on people of good birth Dorothea put out her hand with her usual simple kindness and looked admiringly at lit gates lovely pride aware that there was a gentleman standing at a distance but seeing him merely as a coated figure at a wide angle the gentleman was too much occupied with the presence of the one woman to reflect on the contrast between the two a contrast that would certainly have been striking a calm observer they were both tall and their eyes were on a level but imagine Rosamond's infantile bluntness and wondrous crown of hair plates with a pale blue dress of a fit and fashion so perfect that no dressmaker could look at it without emotion a large embroidered collar which it was to be hoped all beholders would know the price of her small hands duly set off with rings and that controlled self-conscious of manner which is the expensive substitute for simplicity thank you very much for allowing me to interrupt you said Dorothea immediately I'm anxious to see Mr. Litgate if possible before I go home and I hope that you might possibly tell me where I could find him or even allow me to wait for him if you expect him soon he's at the new hospital said Rosamond I'm not sure how soon he will come home but I can wait for him will you let me go and fetch him said well Ladisla coming forward he had already taken up his hat before Dorothea entered she colored with surprise but put out her hand with a smile of unmistakable pleasure saying I did not know it was you I had not thought of seeing you here may I go to the hospital and tell Mr. Litgate that you wish to see him said well it would be quicker to send the carriage for him said Dorothea if you will be kind enough to give the message to the coachman Will was moving to the door when Dorothea whose mind had flashed in an instant over many connected memories turned quickly and said I will go myself thank you I wish to lose no time before getting home again I will drive to the hospital and see Mr. Litgate there Pray excuse me Mrs. Litgate I'm very much obliged to you her mind was evidently arrested by some sudden thought and she left the room hardly conscious of what was immediately around her hardly conscious that Will opened the door for her and offered her his arm to lead her to the carriage she took the arm but said nothing Will was feeling rather vexed and miserable and found nothing to say on his side he handed her into the carriage in silence then said goodbye and Dorothea drove away in the five minutes drive to the hospital she had time for some reflections that were quite new to her her decision to go and her preoccupation in leaving the room had come from the sudden sense that there would be a sort of deception in her voluntarily allowing any further intercourse between herself and Will which she was unable to mention to her husband and already her errand in seeking Litgate was a matter of concealment that was all that had been explicitly in her mind but she had been urged also to wake discomfort now that she was alone in her drive she heard the notes of the man's voice and the accompanying piano which she had not noted much at the time returning on her inward sense and she found herself thinking with some wonder that Will Ladislaw was passing his time with Mrs. Litgate in her husband's absence and then she could not help remembering that he had passed some time with her under like circumstances so why should there be any unfitness in the fact but Will was Mr. Cossubon's relative and one towards whom she was bound to show kindness still there had been signs which perhaps she ought to have understood as implying that Mr. Cossubon did not like his cousin's visit during his own absence perhaps I have been mistaken in many things said poor Dorothea to herself while the tears came rolling and she had to dry them quickly she felt confusedly unhappy and the image of Will which had been so clear to her before was mysteriously spoiled but the carriage stopped at the gate of the hospital she was soon walking around the grass plots with Litgate and her feelings recovered the strong bent which had made her seek for this interview Will Ladislaw meanwhile was modified and knew the reason of it clearly enough his chances of meeting Dorothea were rare and here for the first time there had come a chance which had set him at a disadvantage it was not only as it had been hitherto that she was not supremely occupied with him but that she had seen him under circumstances in which he might appear not to be supremely occupied with her he felt thrust to a new distance from her amongst the circles of middle marchers who made no part of her life but that was not his fault of course since he had taken his lodgings to the town he had been making as many acquaintances as he could his position requiring that he should know everybody and everything Litgate was really better worth knowing than anyone else in the neighbourhood and he happened to have a wife who was musical and altogether worth calling upon here was the whole history of the situation in which Diana had descended to unexpectedly on her worshipper Will was conscious that he should not have been at middle march but for Dorothea and yet his position there was threatening to divide him from her with those barriers of habitual sentiment which are more fatal to the persistence of mutual interest than all the distance between Rome and Britain prejudices about rank and status were easy enough to defy in the form of a tyrannical letter from Mr. Cosabon but prejudices like odorous bodies have a double existence both solid and subtle solid as the pyramids subtle as the 20th echo of an echo or as the memory of Hyacinth which once scented the darkness and Will was of a temperament to feel keenly the presence of subtleties a man of clumsier perceptions would not have felt as he did that for the first time some sense of unfitness in perfect freedom with him had sprung up into Dorothea's mind and that their silence as he conducted her to the carriage had had a chill in it perhaps Cosabon in his hatred and jealousy had been insisting to Dorothea that Will had slid below her socially confound Cosabon Will re-entered the drawing room took up his hat and looking irritated as he advanced towards Mrs. Lidgate who had seated herself at her work table said it is always fatal to have music or poetry interrupted may I come another day and just finish about the rendering of Lungidale caro bene I shall be happy to be taught said Rosamond but I am sure you admit that the interruption was a very beautiful one I quite envy your acquaintance with Mrs. Cosabon is she very clever she looks as if she were really I never thought about it said Will sulkily it was just the answer 30 years gave me when I first asked him if she were handsome what is it that you gentlemen are thinking of when you are with Mrs. Cosabon herself said Will not indisposed to provoke the charming Mrs. Lidgate when one sees a perfect woman one never thinks of her attributes one is conscious of her presence I shall be jealous when 30 years goes to Loic said Rosamond dimpling and speaking with her eyes he will come back and think nothing of me that does not seem to have been the effect on Lidgate hitherto Mrs. Cosabon is too unlike other women for them to be compared with her you are a devout worshipper I perceive you often see her I suppose no said Will almost pettishly worship is usually a matter of theory rather than of practice but I am practicing it yes just at this moment I must rarely tear myself away pray come again some evening Mr. Lidgate will like to hear the music and I cannot enjoy it so well without him when her husband was at home again Rosamond said standing in front of him and holding his coat collar with both her hands Mr. Ladislav was here singing with me when Mrs. Cosabon came in he seemed vexed do you think he disliked her seeing him at her house surely your position is more than equal to his whatever may be his relation to the Cosabon's no no it must be something else if he were really vexed Ladislav is a sort of gypsy he thinks nothing of leather and prunella music apart he is not always very agreeable do you like him yes I think he is a good fellow rather miscellaneous and bric-a-brac but likeable do you know I think he adores Mrs. Cosabon poor devil said the gate smiling and pinching his wife's ears Rosamond felt herself beginning to know a great deal of the world especially in discovering what when she was in her unmarried girl who had been inconceivable to her except as a dim tragedy in bygone costumes that women even after marriage might make conquest and enslavement at that time young ladies in the country even when educated at Mrs. Lemons read little French literature later than Rossini and public prints had not cast their present magnificent illumination over the scandals of life still vanity with a woman's whole mind and day to work in can construct abundantly on slight hints especially on such a hint as the possibility of indefinite conquest how delightful to make captives from the throne of marriage with a husband as crown prince by your side himself in fact a subject while the captives look up forever hopeless losing their rest probably and if their appetite too so much the better but Rosamond's romance turned at present chiefly on her crown prince and it was enough to enjoy his assured subjection when he said poor devil she asked with playful curiosity why so what can a man do when he takes to adoring one of your mermaids he only neglects his work and runs up pills I am sure you do not neglect your work you are always at the hospital or seeing poor patients or thinking about some doctor's quarrel and then at home you always want to pour over your microscope and flulse confess you like those things better than me haven't you ambition enough to wish that your husband should be something better than a middle-march doctor said Ridgate letting his hands fall onto his wife's shoulders and looking at her with affectionate gravity I shall make you learn my favorite bit from an old poet why should our pride make such a stir to be and we forgot what good is like to this to do worthy the writing and to write worthy the reading and the world's delight what I want Rosie is to do worthy the writing and to write out myself what I have done a man must work to do that my bet of course I wish you to make discoveries no one could more wish you to attain a high position in some better place than middle-march you cannot say that I have ever tried to hinder you from working but we cannot live like hermits you are not discontented with me dirtiest no dear no I am too entirely contented but what did Mrs. Cossabon want to say to you merely to ask about her husband's health but I think she is going to be splendid to our new hospital I think she will give us 200 a year end of chapter 43 recording by Red Abrace February 2008 chapter 44 of middle-march this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Red Abrace middle-march by George Elliott chapter 44 I would not creep along the coast but steer out in the mid-sea by guidance of the stars when Dorothea walking down the laurel planted plots of the new hospital with Lydgate had learned from him that there were no signs of change in Mr. Cossabon's bodily condition beyond the mental sign of anxiety to know the truth about his illness she was silent for a few moments wondering whether she had said or done anything to rouse this new anxiety Lydgate not willing to let slip an opportunity of furthering purpose ventured to say I don't know whether your or Mr. Cossabon's attention has been drawn to the needs of our new hospital circumstances have made it seem rather egoistic in me to urge the subject but that is not my fault it is because there is a fight being made against it by the other medical men I think you are generally interested in such things for I remember that when I first had the pleasure of seeing you at Tipton Grange before your marriage you were asking me some questions about the way in which the health of the poor was affected by their miserable housing yes indeed said Dorothea frightening I shall be quite grateful to you if you will tell me how I can help to make things a little better everything of that sort has slipped away from me since I have been married I mean she said after a moment's hesitation that the people in our village are tolerably comfortable and my mind has been too much taken up for me to inquire further but here in such a place as Middlemarch there must be a great deal to be done there is everything to be done said Lidgate with abrupt energy and this hospital is a capital piece of work due entirely to Mr. Bullshord's exertions and in a great degree to his money but one man can't do everything in a scheme of this sort of course he looked forward to help and now there is a mean petty feud set up against the thing in the town by certain persons who want to make it a failure what can be their reasons said Dorothea with a naive surprise chiefly Mr. Bullshord's unpopularity to begin with half the town would almost take trouble for the sake of thwarting him in this stupid world most people never considered that a thing to be done unless it is done by their own set I had no connection with Bullshord before I came here I look at him quite impartially and I see that he has some notions that he has set things on foot which I can turn to good public purpose if a fair number of better educated men went to work with the belief that their observations might contribute to the reform of medical doctrine and practice we should soon see a change for the better that's my point of view I hold that by refusing to work with Mr. Bullshord I should be turning my back on an opportunity of making my profession more generally serviceable I quite agree with you said Dorothea at once fascinated by the situation sketched in Lidgate's words but what is there against Mr. Bullshord I know that my uncle is friendly with him people don't like his religious tone said Lidgate, breaking off there that is all the stronger reason for despising such an opposition said Dorothea looking at the affairs of middle-march by the light of the great persecutions to put the matter quite fairly they have other objections to him he is masterful and rather unsociable and he is concerned with trade which has complaints of its own that I know nothing about but what has that to do with the question it would not be a fine thing to establish here a more valuable hospital than any they have in the county the immediate motive to the opposition however is the fact that Bullshord has put the medical direction into my hands of course I am glad of that it gives me an opportunity of doing some good work and I am aware that I have to justify his choice of me but the consequence is that the whole profession in middle-march have set themselves tooth and nail against the hospital and not only refuse to cooperate themselves but try to blacken the whole affair and hinder subscriptions how very petty exclaimed Dorothea, indignantly I suppose one must expect to fight once way there is hardly anything to be done without it and the ignorance of people about here is stupendous I don't lay claim to anything else than having used some opportunities which have not come within everybody's reach but there is no stiffling the offense of being young and a newcomer and happening to know something more than the old inhabitants still if I believe that I can set going a better method of treatment if I believe that I can pursue certain observations and enquiries which may be a lasting benefit to medical practice I should be a base truckler if I allowed any consideration of personal comfort to hinder me and the course is all the clearer from there being no salary in question to put my persistence in an equivocal light I am glad you have told me this Mr.Lategate said Dorothea cordially I feel sure I can help a little I have some money and don't know what to do with it that is often an uncomfortable thought to me I am sure I can spare 200 a year for a grand purpose like this how happy you must be to know things that you feel sure will do great good I wish I could awake with that knowledge every morning there seems to be so much trouble taken that one can hardly see the good of there was a melancholy cadence in Dorothea's voice as she spoke these last words but she presently added more cheerfully pray come to Loic and tell us more of this I will mention the subject to Mr.Kosobon I must hasten home now she did mention it that evening and said that she should like to subscribe 200 a year she had 700 a year as the equivalent of her own fortune settled on her at her marriage Mr.Kosobon made no objection beyond a passing remark that the sum might be disproportionate in relation to other good objects but when Dorothea in her ignorance resisted that suggestion he acquiesced he did not care himself about spending money and was not reluctant to give it if he ever felt keenly any question of money it was through the medium of another passion than the love of material property Dorothea told him that she had seen Didgate and recited the gist of her conversation with him about the hospital Mr.Kosobon did not question her further but he felt sure that she had wished to know what had passed between Didgate and himself she knows that I know said the ever restless voice within but that increase of tacit knowledge only thrust further off any confidence between them he distrusted her affection and what loneliness is more lonely than distrust End of chapter 44 Recording by Red Abras February 2008