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In this video I'm going to show you how you can build your self esteem.
We live in a world where everyone has been told that they're special, when in fact this is not true in the way that we've been told. It's true that everyone is unique, but not everyone can go on to do great things. No matter how special you are, you cannot become a basketball player if you don't have the physical disposition for it.
Most of the ideas that I'm going to present in this video come from Nathaniel Branden's book the six pillars of self esteem, who define's self esteem the ability to To trust one's mind and to know that one is worthy of happiness
Pillar one: Live consciously
To me, this is the most fundamental pillar of self esteem, and this is the one that has made the most difference in my life.
In order to raise your self esteem, you have to pay attention to yourself. What I highly recommend is that you keep a journal. Every morning write down 3 things you're grateful for, 3 things you want to change about yourself and then write down any other thoughts you have and your plan for the day. If you keep this up for long enough, eventually you're going to start seeing patterns in your behavior, and you're going to automatically start living more consciously.
Now you will start to get a general idea of why your self esteem isn't where you want it to be. Maybe you don't have a great relationship with your parents, so talk to them about it. Maybe you feel lazy all day so you should start working out more. Once you're more conscious about what it is, you need to take action and fix it.
Pillar two: Self acceptance
While self esteem is a general feeling that you have the entire day, self acceptance is a conscious practice.
Self acceptance is one of the most important aspects of having a healthy level of self esteem, and more broadly it is a prerequsite for self improvement. If you're trying to go from one city to another, but you don't know which city you're in, then any map in the world is going to be completely useless to you.
Pillar three: Self responsibility
Own everything that goes wrong in your life. Now I'm not saying that everything bad that happens is actually your fault, the only reason you should own up to everything is because that is simply the most resourceful state of mind to be in. If you get bad grades in a test and you just blame it on your professor for not instructing you properly, you've just given up all self responsibility, and by doing that you've lost your ability to change the outcome.
Pillar four: Self Assertiveness
Now self assertiveness isn't becoming arrogant and bullying everyone into accepting your opinion. Ofcourse you're going to have to do this tactfully, but all this means is that you don't simply take everyone else's word for something, and you recognize that you're a perfectly capable human being who's needs and want have to be honoured.
Pillar five: Live purposefully
When you've found your purpose and you work hard to realize it, then your life will always remain in perspective no matter what happens. Now how you can actually find your purpose is a topic for another video, but for now you can choose your purpose to be something relatively small.
Pillar Six: Personal integrity
This is the pillar that a lot of us are likely to gloss over because we may not see the importance right away. But if you're not true to who you are and your actions don't reflect that, then your self esteem is going to take a toll.
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