 wondering what a narcissist is, or perhaps you've had a personal experience with one. As Psych2Go is about objective understanding, knowledge, and change, we'll take a look at some of the whys and what's of narcissism. Simply having some narcissistic tendencies isn't sufficient for a full diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD. This requires satisfying specific criteria as outlined in the DSM-5, which is essentially the psychiatric reference Bible. Although NPD presently continues to be a gray area, one thing is generally agreed upon. It starts from childhood. Initial development was likely normal, but through a pattern of abuses, probably from parents, they end up hating and rejecting themselves to the point where they have no sense of self and create a mask to substitute. Reinforcement of the mask involves lying, denying, and manipulation, seeing others as extensions of themselves rather than individuals with their own agency able to contradict them. Let's look a little closer at this. Here are six narcissistic behaviors and the motors behind them. One, their need for attention. Many of us like being up on the stage occasionally, telling an exciting story or relating an experience, and we like that earnest attention from a captive audience. However, most of us won't shrivel up and wither away without that attention. Narcissists are different. If they don't get the attention they're trying for, their constant inner dialogue of no one's listening, no one cares, nothing you say matters, it grows and overwhelms them. This perceived rejection hijacks their logic. It's so terrible for them that they will conjure up outrageous lies or stories to get the drug they need, attention. Just like drugs, the high is short and they'll need another fix, starting the cycle all over again. Two, their habit of lying. Similar to their need for attention, narcissists are infamous liars. They lie about their feelings for you, they lie about their past relationships, careers, and personal wealth. Actually, they lie about virtually anything. In fact, they also lie about their childhood and upbringing, increasing the difficulty for psychologists to understand the roots of their problems. Due to their self-loathing, narcissists pretend to be someone else. They believe that if others by the act, they, the narcissist, have succeeded in escaping from their true selves. Their view is, being honest doesn't get me what I want, but lying does. Three, their need to manipulate others. Manipulation is commonly used by sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists to get what they want. Those first three do it due to lack of conscious. Narcissists, though, do it mostly to win an imagined battle. Narcissists are constantly on edge, having loads of anxiety and fearing everyone who is not themselves. This is all thanks to their ingrained negative self-talk. In their mind, since everyone else is obviously trying to manipulate them, the only way to overcome this is to get the jump on them by manipulating them first. Four, guilt-tripping. Nothing the narcissist does is ever wrong. Your spilled drink wasn't due to their carelessness, but due to your ignorance and placing it in their path. They hit you because you provoked them and forced them to do it. This is what narcissists want to believe anyway. It's natural to dislike being wrong, but it happens. When we are, we usually acknowledge, learn, apologize, and move on. Not so for the narcissist. Should they make any mistakes, even the most menial or petty, they respond with a spiral into blackening negativity. They don't need evidence or facts, they only need to be right. This is because their mental dialogues start screaming at an all-encompassing, deafening volume, things like, you made a mistake because you are you. You are a mistake and you don't deserve to exist. They believe the only way to silence the voice is to play pretend, bending and twisting reality to one wherein nothing is their fault, only yours or anyone else. Five, their need to argue. Narcissists feel that compulsion to, at some point, argue with people around them, especially those they're closest to. Causing drama and creating problems is one of the few things that remotely makes them feel alive. They believe attacks from others are inevitable, so to put themselves at ease, they employ their strike first before others can get me strategy. Further, they derive reassurance that they're not worthless holograms from other people's reactions to their guilt trips, insults, and arguments. The logic is they react because I matter to them, thus I matter in general. Did they tell you that your shirt is ugly? Well, their goal wasn't to give an opinion. It was to obtain the upset response. It's like a reward. So further responding or arguing actually increases provocation from the narcissist. It's not about you. It's about getting that reward. And six, their need for narcissistic supply. All of the points listed in this video so far are ultimately to feed this one, narcissistic supply. It refers to the person whose presence in the narcissistic's life is necessary for narcissistic survival. Non-narcissistics generally accept both the positive and negative aspects of themselves. Negative stress is dealt with via various means, maybe exercising, talking with friends, or other such activities. The narcissist does not engage with such coping mechanisms because they can't accept both aspects. They hate themselves on such a deep, dark level, maybe for illogical or false reasons that they require somewhere to dump all their negativity, hurt, venom, and vile. They pretend that all their negative aspects belong to the world around them, but mainly to their narcissistic supply. This person is usually their significant other, but it can be anyone close to them. Their supply serves as the source of all things the narcissist rejects about themselves, like their mistakes, shortcomings, and disappointments. This leads to both verbal and physical abuse of the supplier. Should a supplier not be present, they have to face the ugly truth that the negative aspects belong to themselves since there is no blame bucket to dump it into. When this is the case, their feelings can be so bad that it can lead to self-harming behavior, including suicide. As can be seen, narcissists are not only immensely destructive to others, but also to themselves. Their perception of reality is so skewed by the belief that everyone around them are the ones who are cruel, deceitful, and abusive, that they simultaneously completely ignore all their own actions. Have you ever encountered anyone who displays these behaviors? Or perhaps you've observed some of them in yourself? Let us know in the comments below. Don't forget to like and subscribe to Psych2Go for more content. And thanks for watching. See you soon.