 The following is a delayed broadcast by a transcription. The Jell-O program coming to you from the Marine Corps base in San Diego brought to you by Jell-O and Jell-O puddings starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis A. Rochester, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with Call Out the Marines! Have you noticed how extra-rich Jell-O is today? Now the Jell-O's wonderful flavor is locked in? Well, there's never been anything like it. Just never been anything more delicious. Locking in Jell-O's flavor heightens its goodness, brings it to a new peak of delight. Now, more than ever, Jell-O's shimmering color and beauty hold a promise of rich enjoyment, a promise that is gloriously fulfilled in Jell-O's bright, refreshing flavor. Flavor so thrillingly good that it makes you think right away of the juicy ripe fruit itself. Let your next package of Jell-O prove to you the extra-richness of Jell-O's locked-in flavor. Open a package of Jell-O. Notice that there's no sweet, fruity odor, no tell-tale aroma to warn of escaping flavor. Then dissolve the tiny Jell-O particles and notice the way Jell-O's captive goodness comes pouring out with a rush of rich, tangy fragrance and flavor. Ask your grocer tomorrow for several packages of Jell-O, and see if you don't agree that Jell-O is better than ever, now that Jell-O's famous flavor is locked in. Ladies and gentlemen, as I announced before, our program this evening comes to you from the United States Marine Corps base in San Diego. Yes, sir. The marines who sail the seven seas on our battleships and cruisers, who pitch their tents in the blazing heat of tropical jungles or face the wintry winds of the far north. You said it. So without further ado, we bring you a man who thinks marine is something to drop in your eyes, Jack Benny. That's Mureen. I know the difference. Anyhow, Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking, and down there was a beautiful tribute you just gave to the marines. They're a swell bunch of fellas, and they deserve it. They certainly do. By the way, Jack, during the First World War, you were a marine yourself, aren't you? Me? No. No, I was a... No, no, forget it, Don. Anyway, it sure is great... Well, now, Jack, I'm sure these boys here are interested in your military record. Did you serve in the artillery? No. The infantry? With my feet? Are you kidding me? Forget it, Don, forget it. No, no, no, I'd like to find out. Which branch of the service were you in? Well... Well, come here, Don. I'll whisper it to you. Don, I enlisted in the... For three years. Oh, you were a sailor! Quiet! Don, for heaven's sake, I want to be friends with these boys. God! Oh, now there's no need of getting upset, Jack. Nowadays, sailors and marines are the best of friends. Why, they're pals. Pals, eh? Well, years ago, when I was in the service, they weren't quite so chummy. I'll, uh, I'll never forget one time when I was at the Great Lakes Naval Training Station. You know, I was in love with a girl, and so was this marine, about six foot two. Your girl? No, the marine. Well, my girl was only six foot. Uh, that is in her bare feet. Well, anyway... Oh, uh, didn't she wear shoes? No, no, this was in the summer time. Well, anyway, we both came up to this girl's front door one night, and the marine said to me, uh, where do you think you're going, tight pants? I said, I'm going to see Eva. Uh, that was the girl's name, Eva Slatko. So this, uh, this marine said to me, oh, you are, eh? And I said, yeah, you want to make something out of it? And what happened? Um, what was that? What happened? Oh, the next morning, I had three teeth put back in, and I haven't seen the guy since. I'm sorry, Don, I missed my place there for a minute. But as you say, Don, there's no reason why sailors and leathernecks shouldn't get along together. They're all fighting for the same cause, and after all... Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Hi, boys. Well, Mary, here we are in San Diego. Yeah, and let me tell you something. The next time I come down here, it won't be in that Maxwell of yours. What a trip. What's the matter with you? I'm so black and blue, you think I went dancing at the Paris Inn last night? Paris Inn? Oh, uh, a dining and dancing spot, eh? Dining, dancing, and raffling. Well, I... I, uh... I must go over there later. So you had a pretty tough ride in the Maxwell, huh, Mary? Don, it wouldn't... it would have been a very pleasant trip if we hadn't had that blowout at San Clemente. The blowout was at Laguna Beach. We came down in San Clemente. All right, for ten minutes, we were unidentified aircraft. All we had was a blowout. And that silly experiment of yours. That's what held us up. Mary, that experiment may not have worked, but it's ideas like that that the government wants nowadays. What was it, Mary? Oh. Well, Jack didn't have a spare, so he bought a thousand packages of gum until Rochester to cue him into attire. Listen, if it had worked, I'd be famous. Well, look who's here. Goldilocks and his three curls. Hello, Phil. Hiya, Jackson. Here I am, men. Tear down the roof. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now I'm happy. Then stop, then stop bowing. Well, I'm thrilled, Jackson. It's sure great to be down here entertaining all these leatherheads. They're leathernets. You're the leatherhead. However, I must say, uh... See, I can't understand how I made that mistake before. However, I must say, you got here on time for a change. Did you just roll into town? No, we got in last night, and then Frankie, my guitar player, and me went down to Tijuana. Tijuana? You know, on a good will tour. I'll bet. May I inquire what you boys were drinking? A little Mexican buttermilk. Tequila, they call it. Tequila? Say, I hear that's pretty strong stuff. You ought to try it sometime, Jackson. First you swallow a glass of it, then you chew on a lemon. I see. And after the fourth drink, if you ain't got a lemon, just chew your glass. It'll make no difference. Well, that stuff must pack a wallop. Yeah, and on our way home, we were hit by lightning, and we bent it. Stop dreaming it up. Well, Phil, now that we've heard about your adventures in Tijuana, how about playing a band number for the boys? Okay, Jackson. And play something nice, will ya? Hold it a minute. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes? I was wondering, would you like to join the marines? Yes, I would. Well, join us. We're going to the Paris Inn tonight. Get out of here! Silly guy. Gee, I wish I could join the marines, though. They're a red-blooded organization. They wouldn't give you any, whether you join or not. Play, Phil. I can't understand how I made a mistake on that first part. I don't know what happened to my twist, you know? I can't understand how I made that mistake. Oh, well. That was, uh... That was, he's 1A in the Army and A1 in my heart, played by Phil Harris and his internationally famous orchestra. Internationally famous meaning. They're as well-known in Tijuana as they are in San Diego. And, um... And now, ladies and gentlemen... Tijuana. They love me there. Isn't it amazing? You can't insult the guy. How I made that mistake. And now, and now, ladies and gentlemen... Hey, Jack, can I read my poem now? Mary, I told you that you can't do any more of your silly poems. Oh, Mr. Benny, here I am. Oh, hello, Dennis. Kurtzy. Our little gang is all assembled. Hey, is Joan Bennett here yet? Quiet. That's our surprise. What a kid. Well, Dennis, are you enjoying yourself here in San Diego? I sure am. I went to Balboa Park this morning, and what a zoo they got there. What a zoo! You had fun, eh? Yeah, and you know what, Mr. Benny? What? I saw a baboon there that looked exactly like Fred Allen. Like... Like Fred Allen, eh? That's a good one. He has got long arms, you know. What was the baboon doing, Dennis? He was picking fleas off another one that resembled you somewhat. What do you mean? Uh, here's a peanut, Jack. Catch. Thanks. Now cut that out. Say, I must go over and take a look at that baboon that looks like me. I've never seen one with big blue eyes. Must be quite a novelty. What else do you see there, Dennis? Well, I saw lions and tigers and elephants, then I saw a great big dinosaur. Dennis, that's impossible. You couldn't have seen a dinosaur. Of course not. She's in New York with Eddie Cantor. That's Dinosaur! Phil, Phil, you're thinking of Dinosaur. Can I read my poem now? Not now, Mary. I'm leading up to something. All right, Don. Dinosaur. Oh, Jack, this one is utterly fantastic. Don, I won't go through this every week. Dinosaur. But Jack, people are beginning to talk. Everybody says there goes that goofy Wilson. I don't want to hear another word about it. Now go ahead. Dinosaur. Oh, all right. Ladies and gentlemen, the next time you have dinner, be sure to serve Jell-O for dessert. Because whether you dine at sea or dine a shore... Wonderful. You will find that Jell-O with its new locked-in flavor is America's favorite Jell-Oton dessert. Oh, I'm sorry, Dinosaur. Well, personally, Don, I thought it was very, very clever. Too very, Jack. It's worth it. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Dennis Day, our tenor, will serve... Wait a minute. I'm going to read my poem to these boys. Oh, my goodness. Well, they can take it. That's one thing. What's the title of your poem, Mary? Tell it to the Marines, but don't get tough about it. There, you've got something there. Proceed. I salute all you Marines, old and young and in between. And I really think you're top. You're just the guys to stop the Jops. Jops? You mean Japs. Japs, Jops. Knocks the sukiyaki out of them. Right. Continue. You fellows fight on land or sea, in the air, up a tree. They can fight anywhere. And when you boys get liberty, you slug it out over girls like me. That keeps them in condition, I suppose. Go ahead. I've gone with boys from Georgia Tech and Yale and Harvard by the Peck. But here's one thing I'll say by heck. I'd rather neck a leather neck. Very good, Mary. You know, Mary, these are wonderful here, aren't they? You know, Mary, I'm sorry I tried to keep you from reading that poem because this one was really okay. It really was. Come in. Well, who's this? It's a Marine. I know it's a Marine, but who? Hello there. Hello, tight pants. I'm glad to see you again. Glad to see you again. Well, who is it, Jack? I don't know. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Glad to see you. What do you have in the old gang? Oh, same old gang, like you said. You know how it is. Well, who is he? I'm trying to find out. What are you doing here? I'm still in the service. Hey, I see you got those three teeth put back in. Three? Three teeth? Oh, hey, wait a minute. You're...you're... Remember Eva Slutko? Yeah, that's it. You're Bullface Hurley. Say, do you ever see Eva anymore? How can I help it? We married and got four kids. Four kids? Well, what do you know? Well, sit down. We'll talk things over. Go ahead with your song, Dennis. Okay. Say, Bullface, remember the time I caught you and Eva dancing at the Y and I socked you right in the jaw? Huh? I did? I was running so fast, I didn't look back. But I'll never forget the time, right? There's no mountain top so high that some hollow can't climb Just before I rendezvous and the dream I always... There's a rendezvous I keep and the dream I always meet helped me forget. Bullface, so you named one of your boys after me, eh? Yeah. Yeah, he was kind of a puny kid. Well, it's good seeing you again, Bull. Say hello to Eva for me. I will. So long, tight pants. So they finally got married. Gee, Eva was a cute gal. I wonder if she ever got shoes. I suppose so. Anyway, that was always in my heart sung by Dennis Day. I'm dedicated to Miss Joan Bennett. Where is she? Oh, she ought to be here any minute, Dennis. Well, I hope so. A man can stand just so much, you know. What? What are you talking about? Well, Miss Bennett and I got to be pretty good friends on the way down here. Pretty good friends. Dennis, the only reason Miss Bennett sat on your lap is because the car was crowded. Say, I wonder what is keeping Joan? I doubt it. She shows up at all after that trip in the Maxwell. She'll be here, don't worry. Imagine asking Joan Bennett to ride down here in that broken-down Jalopy. She's a big movie star. Well, what am I, a manhole cover? Huh? How much care is one? All right, I'm a manhole cover. Remember that on payday because I won't be able to sign your check. Do keep that up, Miss Livingston. Well, here she is, fellas. Come on in, Joan. We've been waiting for you. Hello, Jack. Hello, everybody. There, you see, Mary, she's here and she looks wonderful. Well, Joan, I was a little worried about you. How do you feel after you ride down here in my Maxwell? How do I feel? Now I know what a mold of milk goes through. Well, you see, you're a little light, Joan. I'll tell you what. On the way back, I'll let Dennis sit on your lap. Put down Wilson there. That'll do the trick. Okay, anything you want, Joan. Oh, boy, ain't she a dish. Dennis. Dennis, behave yourself. Leave him alone, Jack. You were young once yourself. And I still am, Joanie. I still am. He takes a little vitamin B and he wants to skip rope. Oh, sure. Hey, Joan, you remember Phil Harris, don't you? Why, certainly. Hello, Phil. Hello, Joan. Ever hear Alice's face? She's my wife. Well, Joan, this is certainly, this is certainly like old times, isn't it? You and I working together again. Yes, Jack. It's been over three years now. Remember that picture we made called Artists and Models Abroad? Do I? I'll never forget it. And Joan, I've got a confession to make. Now, you didn't know it at the time, but you were the first leading lady I ever kissed. What do you mean I didn't know it? What? You should have seen him, Mary. He was so nervous he missed my upper lip entirely. Well, I did pretty good considering I had my eyes closed. That would never happen with me, sister. Dennis, pipe down. Say, Joan, I've been wondering. I've thought of this often. Why is it you and I have never made another picture together? You asked me that a dozen times on the way down here and I told you. But Joan, I don't eat salami anymore. Honest, I don't. Well, I'm glad of that. And I'll say one thing for you, Jack. Your acting has improved. Well, I hit both lips now. If that's what you mean, yes, ma'am. Not only that, but I saw your picture the other night and I just couldn't believe that Jack Benny was playing Hamlet. That was me all right. To be or not to be. That is the question. Someone give him the answer. He does this every five minutes. Mary, so you like me as Hamlet, eh, Joan? I certainly did. And what amazed me, Jack, is the way you looked in tight. Your legs were simply gorgeous. Oh, you're just saying that. Heaven's to Betsy. And my legs gorgeous. They really are. Why, everybody in Hollywood is saying they're even prettier than Betty Grable. Prettier than Betty? Oh, so that's why she's been snubbing me lately. Now I get a jealousy. Well, Joan, getting back to me. Excuse me a minute. Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny, this is Rochester. Hello, Rochester. Pardon me, Joan, I'll be with you in a minute. What do you want? I got the match well all gassed up and everything. What time tomorrow morning are we going to take off? Well, we're leaving the hotel at 7 a.m. sharp. But, boss, I won't be getting into half past eight. Getting in, now, wait a minute, Rochester. I'll let you go to a party last night. You don't have to go to another party tonight. Well, this is the same one. Same one. Only we're switching from Jim to Mexican buttermilk. Oh, I see. You know, they got a regular little Harlem down here. I don't care. We're leaving tomorrow morning promptly at 7. I don't want to hear another word about it. But, Mr. Benny, I'm asking you now, honey. But, but, Mr. Benny. Just a second, Rochester. Who did you just say honey to? Me? Yes, you. Who is honey? He's a cousin of mine, boss. Honey to Van June. What? Junior. Rochester, you're not telling me the truth. You were in a party and you were talking to a girl. And if I don't stop talking to you, I'm a loser. The wolves are closing in. Rochester, sometimes I can't understand you. You've got a girl in Los Angeles, haven't you? Uh-huh. For two years now, you've been going steady together. Uh-huh. Well, then, let me ask you something. Did you ever hear of phygeology? Oh, yeah. That's an insurance company, ain't it? I don't mean that. I mean you should be true to one girl. Oh, for three, consider it. I'm not going to argue any more about it. I want you to be at the El Cortez Hotel at 7 a.m. So long. So long. We'll have fun, honey. I have more trouble with that guy. Always wants his own way. Pardon me, Jack. Yes, Joan. Did I understand you to say that you're driving back tomorrow at 7 a.m.? Yes, I'll have to pick you up bright and early. Well, bring along a first-aid kit on my snap actress. Good, good. And Joan, I do want to thank you for coming down here and helping entertain these Marines. I love doing it. And, incidentally, our program is being sent every week by delayed shortways to our armed forces everywhere. It is? Well, then, Jack, if I promise to ride back with you in your max, will you do me a favor? Why, certainly. What is it? May I say hello to General MacArthur and his men? Of course. Hello, General. Keep up the good work. But you have to tell you. You said it. Play, Phil. Serving the family this well-jello priest. It's cardinal pair mold. Beauty pair is embedded in a simmering mold of bright red raspberry jello. Nothing could be more tempting to the eye or more delightful to the taste than this grand jello dessert. And nothing could be easier to make. Now, here's all you do. Simply dissolve one package of jello imitation raspberry flavor in a pint of hot water. Add 1-8 teaspoon of powdered ginger. Turn into mold. Chill until firm. Unmold and garnish with sections of canned pear. You'll say that it's one of the most delicious mouth-watering desserts that ever came your way. A dessert that you'll love from the first spoonful to the last. So, tomorrow, when you make up this tempting combination of juicy canned pears and beautiful red raspberry jello, remember, jello today is extra-rich thanks to the jello's new lost-in flavor. Thanks again, Joan Bennett, and good night, folks. This program is written by Bill Maher on Ed Belon. The fact that this show is broadcast in a green base does not constitute the enjoyment of the product advertised by the War Department.