 What's happening? Hey, we are live here in Austin, Texas. Obviously. This is Nick Sparks If you don't know this, this is Anthony Johnson the founder and CEO of the 21 convention I'm Steve Maeda. I'm the host and probably some other crazy stuff Master of ceremonies, that's right. So today basically we're talking about your book By Nick Sparks the Nick Sparks amazing guy I don't even need to intro you because you guys already probably know of them, but tell us about this Yeah, it's a book. I've been working on for a long time for anyone who's been following the process thus far Yes, should be coming out now sooner than later I'm just putting the finishing touches on it and just very excited to get it out there Yeah, you know one of the reasons too I wanted to get Nick on here to talk about this was he's so huge in the channel people love his videos 21 convention But I thought that only people that follow him on Facebook knew about it and there's so many guys on YouTube I was like, let's tell them about it. Let's get it down. Let's let's figure out and find out exactly What went into the book and what's gone into the creation of it over years at this point, I think right? Yeah, sounds good. How many years do you've actually been writing it too long about around two years now? Okay, I've been going into it and I've got my my reasons looking back now on why it's taken that long But yeah, I'm gearing up for the final stages and I'm pretty excited. Oh One more thing for the YouTube guys, too There is like a live chat and you can ask questions, but I try to make them focus on the book itself I know you guys probably want to ask Nick a whole bunch of different things, but this is actually already popping up Dude I actually I'm wondering about this because we've both coached for a long same amount of time and like you're an amazing guy like I Know everybody you're one of my favorite people to hang out But see you're the founder of the 21 convention you're like the god and we're just the angels, right? Dude The the men's mafia Hosted by anthony johnson But no So what inspired you to write this book because I can tell This from knowing you and what makes you such an amazing coach such an amazing guy is that this isn't about Huge profit quick fixes This is about becoming a man that you've been inspired to develop with other men I mean, that's one of the greatest things about nick guys But uh, so what inspired this and what is the journey of the book first off start with the title too You know, it's funny because we're still working on the title. Oh, really? Okay title still a work in progress The last we got a couple we're whittling it down to so I don't have to get there But what inspired this book I'll answer that question Was the coaching that that we've both done for so long And you can relate to this as well as anyone can you start doing it for so long You start saying more something you start saying less of other certain messages certain things stand out Um, as you see as being more important And over years and years and hundreds of guys you start to see these patterns emerge And and we're getting to the point with a coaching where We're just getting very confident in the work that it did. I mean Getting, you know, the kinds of reviews that typically weren't out there Right and and just seeing the stuff that we were doing had a had a strong effect on people and um, Don't you claim a hundred percent success rate too? Yes. That's awesome. Not a guy I've worked with who I haven't Who hasn't left very happy with the program. I don't know anyone else in the world who claims that Yeah, um it's um The number of reasons we can always talk about that but the book came about because I had these things that were really making a Difference for people and I saw making an impact Um, especially in the programs that we're running And I just want it to be more widely available, right? Because aside from the people that could show up and do a live training weekend You know, I tons of people just writing me asking me for questions Just answering the same kind of questions over and over wanted to be able to help out more people But seeing that, you know limiting myself to whatever quick answer I could type up on facebook or or wherever else wasn't going to be the best way to do that So I thought well, this is a time to write a book now I can put as much as I as much as the advice that I can into that as possible send it out Sell it for you. That's what even your speeches at the convention, which were like amazing Even those are like static, you know, they're like once a year max and then after that It's it's not like nick's best thinking at the moment And I think not the best but not your like most current you always evolving always changing as a man I mean, I wish I could go back and edit some things from my how to hold conversation like a man's speech and Um, you know, there's always little tweaks that you could make You know, absolutely where that's what's nice about a book as I can make sure the wording is perfectly on it I can go over and whereas I'm giving a speech. Yeah, it's great to be able to get some information out there It's just kind of a one time. I'm nervous as can be And then so to be able to just really put out something that's static that Really speaks for the work that I do I'm excited just to have that. Let me actually get into this And we probably have some questions for you guys that are watching this Coming in but before we jump to that I would really like to know because you talked about this the changes that men get while doing You know workshop and it's not just about a workshop. It's about getting coaching with you What did you see them go through that was beyond just like oh, I got a number I got, you know a girlfriend or sex or whatever because I think that's what makes you such a dynamic guy When your students got married, didn't he? Happens. Yeah All over got got some coming up this year and wow. Okay. There you go full schedule It's always fun. Yeah rewarding part of the job. What are those changes? But that's not even the biggest thing not even like, oh, I got married. Yeah. Oh, I got a girlfriend or I got whatever Um I mean, this has always been tough to exactly put a finger on and mark it, you know That's why I usually just let the testimonials guys write their own speak for themselves But the the difference that I saw I saw early on as people just saying Um, you know, it's hard to put like my finger on exactly what's different. I just feel more confident in general I just I've got kind of a new outlook on life Like my friends will ask me what's different But they can't quite put their finger on it It's really difficult to put like this tangible thing. It's just being happy With this part of your life not feeling like there's still something missing not feel like you're still lacking in some way shape or form But to just kind of have it figured out and I was somehow able to Infuse my programs for the most part with that You'd say then it's like an internal change that you're seeing right Not just the external things like getting a girlfriend or getting married. It's like it's deeper than that It's your whole outlook. Yeah, I kind of have a chance to to drag you in for a, you know 72 hour period and I really like to barge you with the new speech. There's a quote from you. You say, uh If you want to get good at this part of your life, and I'm paraphrasing it But it has to become part of who you are if you want to become a sexually human being It has to be part of your daily life. And I think that's kind of what you're speaking to now is what I hear Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's how you're looking at the messages. You're telling yourself How you're looking at other people Um on a day-to-day basis and yeah reinforcing that But like to a guy like a lot of the fans out there watching this How does that break down like being a sexual man to a guy that hasn't gotten a date or Had that conversation with a woman or isn't that social? It's like well, fuck. I just want to get I want to get to the guy that's getting success So it's like how do you break down the importance of that because I think you teach it so well You know like I've like man, how can you get that? Ultimate confidence that way of life that carries into every Action emotion and in whatever that you do that you expression that you put yourself out there Yeah, I think that's a good question I guess it's also related to book talk. I knew the conversation always goes here, but it's a little off But no, no, no, but okay, so in the book my book is based on this a lot I think a big difference is that you know, it's really it's not something to do when you're talking to a girl It's something to look at when you're I'm just talking interacting with anyone Yeah, I would say in every interaction you have whether it's the two of us or whether it be your doctor Or the the person at the grocery store I mean, you're either going to revert back to your old just kind of autopilot your old ruts as I call them Or you're gonna have a chance to Interact with people Yeah, and with a little more consciousness and a little more awareness And so are you improving or are you you're getting worse in every single interaction? You and I have talked about the book. I haven't read it Is anyone read it or just a few people have yeah, yeah, yeah, some of my alums have gotten earlier editions of that Same stuff that I'm teaching in the classroom So but the the thing is is that the purpose of the book isn't that's what I'm getting at It's to achieve like A good life as a man You know and that is so freaking important that I think that carries over into Directly into your philosophy about sex women how people communicate and connect because if you make it about just a result You know to that guy that's going I don't know how to talk to women Here's how you approach or here's how you get a number and all sort of stuff and here's how you get the result And that's going to make you a man your book is actually designed to be like no How do you become a man as you live it in every day of your life? And that's what I think is from all of I've heard about it because I haven't read it Is you're fucking putting that together. That's awesome You know it's badass. So I uh, I actually have a way too. I think we can take this back super focused on the book A few months ago probably like eight nine months ago You and I spoke by phone before the tampon convention And you talked about the creative process that went into your speeches a little bit And how diligent and how much effort you put into them into making them as good as they are So I actually wanted to talk to you about the parallels between the creative process for Uh creating the speeches versus the much longer process of creating the book Can you pull any like similarities or differences from that? Really good question It's like these differences are much easier to point out than similarities. I guess similarities I have a general frame in my head for What I want to say like what I want the point to be what do I want to accomplish of a speech I'm in a speech or of the book. Okay, right and then I'll lay it out a little bit more thoroughly and Um say, okay, so what are some of the bigger points? I want to hit along this journey Wait, I also need an introduction to like how's that going to look and this is book or speech Okay, right Most of this process is still going out in my head. I'm just I sometimes I'll put out bullet points But I'm much more of a kind of in my head lay out the foundation versus really starting to get a Miniscule detail some people are different thinkers So I'm doing this for for both processes Um, and then as it starts getting close to time for a speech I'll start to you know Detail out maybe some of those bullet points a little bit more. What are the things I'd like to hit? What are the things I don't? Um, and then you know the speech time comes Well, then you just remember what you're going to remember forget what you're going to forget And just kind of swing by by where you're at out there with a book. This is where things take a very different turn because Now with a book you've got this format as we talked about where like every single sentence has weight to it Where every single point you're making is you can really Maybe over-analyze it but but the fact that this is a solid inflexible thing You um, I've spent just a lot more time going over it rethinking of exactly what I want to say And then you'll find out You know, you give a speech and then a couple days later after putting this information out there Your brain is really your brain was so focused on holding that information now That's released from that kind of now you can start it starts thinking So a month after I I delivered my 2014 speech There was already ways that I was thinking like oh, this could have been better that could have been better Yeah, I've done this myself And with a book now you actually get to revise it before it goes out to the audience like with the like the video It's out there Yeah, right. I can do my best You know talk about what I'm saying in the comments, but yeah Once you say is what you say right where is in the book? I can go back and take that time to just make sure that all those evolutions are Are gonna be currently here's a follow-up question. So would you say the book is not like a huge speech? Like a 10 hour speech. It's much different. It sounds like you're saying it's more precise Yes, it's much more precise like saying exactly what I want to say. Um, I mean, we have Gosh, how would I even compare it to a 10 hour speech? Maybe a 10 hour speech done by a robot But with some emotion behind it I'm sure it sounds like it's written by a human though. Yeah. Yeah, it has to I'm still a human being So far as we know, I mean, I don't know these features are getting really good. We've we've examined them actually Not a perfect speaker. So like what uh, what are some of the main points of the book? Like if you were to divide up the chapters or themes of it, you know that guys can kind of like build an expectation for sure well, um The general parts of the book general sections. I've got really three Is one starting conversations with strangers and this is just broken down by what you see guys asking the most questions You know broken down into categories one starting conversations with strangers to just holding conversations having good conversations having great conversations um, and then third part is just bringing sexuality into all of that And the final section on just some general tips and lessons, but it actually follows your speeches almost chronologically very well 11 12 and then 14. Yeah, I first started creating the speeches just because once again, these were the questions I was getting asked the most these were what I saw as being the most pivotal Um things to be talked about this just occurred to me Is such a such a simple question. Are you using the speeches as a way to kind of draft the book over time? Yeah, a little bit. It's it's totally happened. I mean those who are familiar with the speeches You're going to see some similar stories in the book Some similar lessons, but once again, it's going to be you know Stuff that I've had a chance to go over again and again and again and make sure it's really presented as Effectively as I can possibly present it But you'll definitely see the the comparisons between the speeches. I had no idea the whole time. Oh, hey, it's a great speeches Yeah, I keep going Nick Man, also, you know what's interesting about that is because you've even said in this we've talked about it on the side But in this little podcast You have said that you're like Man, if I could have changed stuff even from the 2014 speech that you gave six or eight months ago or whatever You know, so that means these are actually updated ideas to how to hold a conversation Updated ideas on how to be sexual and all those different things. That's pretty cool, man. Best of the best Yeah so, uh, man Questions or do you want to break for that or do you want to do you have any other questions? Anthony Johnson has some more questions. Here's a question. Yeah, obviously, you know, the book is mostly for men But like a little bit deeper if you can go into it. Who's the book for? Is it for older men, young men, Asian men, white men, black guys? I mean, is it I actually have a disclaimer right in one of the first pages of the book and I'll probably put this in the amazon Section about whatever Um, this book really well the language that I used is Kind of directed towards men Especially with their issues talking to women because that's what so much my coaching on has been focused on for so long What I have the most experience with Um, the lessons of the book are for anyone who is interested in improving their their social or sexual communication with anyone else Um, it's it's I've really kind of looked for what are the universal aspects of Of people getting along together and people being Present with each other and not present with each other and so that's whether you're 18 or 48 or all the same Okay, it's all the same. You might be in slightly different No social structures in college It's easier to meet people than it is if you're just you know, had a job for 20 years and you just move to a new city But you know these the book is really centered around things that are gonna make the biggest difference no matter where you are Actually, I think that's a great point because not a lot of people talk about that in terms of Especially with men's development We think our problems are so unique, right? And then we can't you know You're this and that and i'm this and that and it it's impossible to change whereas the principles of change And the way you teach customized, you know working with somebody Is really the key thing and so many times like why I don't get women or why i'm unhappy Why i'm out of shape all the stuff that you but basically have brought to the world with the convention It tend to be these same principles, you know We have a conversation with an expert like nick or an expert like You know keith norris mark etobre, whatever we tend to say the same things about what gets you there That's a very cool thing when it comes to dating and having a healthy social sexual That's all I see both of you guys at the convention You guys were super super into the sexual life and dating and relationships and all things entailed with internal change External improvements in like your skills and your talent that But for me it's just bringing you guys into a bigger stage Of course the 21 convention and then integrating it to like a giant widget where it's all like functioned together Yeah, I think you knew that already, but yeah, no, it's awesome to be a part of it It's cool because you know, there's so many speakers. I've learned stuff from that. I really appreciate it Well, you just said two a minute ago is like you mentioned Universals, I think was the word you used and to me that just means fundamentals I think is how I interpret it But yeah, then like steve said to me it's all fundamental connections between what you're talking about what keith is talking about What mark sissons talking about to me? It's all kind of on the same wavelength or current And that's why you guys are so awesome together It's like putting little Legos together and then make this giant awesome ideal man or something You know, it's crazy is everybody everybody builds off one another. So like you started in 2009 or 2008 Yeah, right. So it's like, you know You're there. I'm there, you know mark sisson actually spoke in 2009 and he's gonna Oh, it was 2010. Well, anyway, whatever these guys evolve and we've all kind of followed an interesting path And then we can touch base. It's actually so fortunate that you live in austin because it's like, oh man You know, you're taking your ideas to this level and it's just it it's food for all of us. It's very cool Because I think when we first met Um, we were our teachings were like but we were in place Now we've gotten a chance to to reconnect to look at we're doing now and you know The fact stuff that makes us different is really what makes us stand out and yeah Yeah able to to help different people and that's awesome. But then you look and yeah stuff that we're similar on I mean the stuff that let me actually ask you How has your fault you you've always been a good coach? I mean, I think that's it is like I may have been all over the place at one point, but I could still coach Whereas your teachings may have been like a little bit more abstract or whatever at one point But you were always a good coach So how has that evolved and I think that's one of the the big foundations of the book. Yeah Well, it's I was fortunate that I was a good coach because I always say the stuff the actual stuff I was teaching back when I started was terrible um But I still got quality Well, I guess yeah, maybe in comparison with everything else that was out there. It still wasn't great um But people still I got positive reviews But because people could tell I cared and was coming from a good place and it was kind of I had a lot of energy and a lot of focus and I was kind of Going in this direction and then um You know just these core principles to guide me. I'm like, what's the right direction? I was looking for what's universal what uh, what what's the smallest things that make the biggest difference And you know, just as the years have gone by luckily It was that passion that I had for that excitement that kind of propelled me forward and gave me the You said on the way here to where we're filming now that you know passion is what drove you through most of your 20s It's just like this raw very powerful intense passion coaching and for helping people this part of their life Yeah Like it changes because we get older Like we slow down But then so the passion Man, I'll speak for myself, but it had to do with like validation at times like winning kicking ass The thing that moved like success In in coaching was the passion became more for the the client and that's all I hear from you You have to be yeah, you've seen how many coaches who've got into this This industry. Oh, this is so cool. This is exciting. I love like the image I love like it must be the fringe benefits of being this cool like That fades really fast And then you see a lot of people drop out and not having you the only thing that's going to keep you coaching And you're going to have ups and downs. You're going to have guys who are more challenging There's going to be guys who are less challenging and make it seem easy for you And it's like, how do you respond to those like if you love that challenge? Do you always want more despite the fact that it's going to be more taxing and more more emotional physical energy? Or do you like say, oh man, I can't take this anymore I can't deal with it was there a point with a client a student a story that made you go, man This is why I need to put this on paper You know, this is this is The the that turning point of the decision You know, basically I got him. I got to make this book because you've committed to it You know, you've put down hours and hours of time and thought and looked within yourself and others for What made you really want to do this? It's just kind of the reaction that I saw to guys, especially when The testimonials from my coaching was getting better and better Um, just you know, I read those are just you know, see guys and their experiences from it And and then other guys would see those other guys would would read those and well pain neck Help me out with this. I started seeing just more of a demand Um people just asking more for my thoughts on this and that So and I it was kind of like I just felt like I had a responsibility like I've been given this This life that's given me these experiences that are different than most people You know, my brain works like this for for these things and I've got all these people now like Asking me for this like saying they want my help with this like it sounds almost like a sequence was a turning point of Different little testimonial events that accumulated. Is that sound about right? That's what you're telling me. That's kind of it just became a Point where there's a no-brainer like people are asking like why haven't you written the book yet? Yeah, I really need to do this Other speakers have this too. I think sasha recently put a book out and you have the same thing Years people like hey, where's the book? He's like book book Yeah, it's good motivation Yeah, good stuff. Good stuff. What else you got there, mr. Johnson Here's a pretty basic question, but I think it'll go a long way towards helping people understand it How More specifically can the book help them the guys watching right now or in the future and youtube and stuff How can the book? Not just broadly and fundamentally help their life, but specifically like what's going to change so We get a little more specific and what the book's about You said there's either these more general areas that we can talk on You know talk about focus our coaching on then every single guy is different, right? Every single guy has different mannerisms different personality different And that's why you know really getting in there and identifying Specifically, how is a guy? Maybe sabotaging himself in a different situation You know, it's sometimes you got to be able to see that and you know, we do it for as long as we can We can just look at a guy and very easily see like what's going on um What the book what I tried to do is For each of those areas whether it comes to people trying to start new conversations Or just holding a conversation having to be a great one or becoming more sexual I I basically pulled out what are you know? five six of the most common ways that a guy will sabotage himself In regards to those different areas and then how can he What are the actions he can take once he's identified that he's doing this to to reverse that that behavior And once again practicing it with everyone he comes into contact with and then within those like you know five or six per Um section subsets. I'll have other little details in there to maybe Um allow a guy to catch himself if this is something that he is doing to So so whatever area it is that you're really suffering and you're going to be able to look at well What are some ways that I might be sabotaging myself really try to give examples give as many Details analogies as I can and then the action the specific actions He can take to quote unquote cure that and immediately start having better interactions with people This sounds from my experience as a young person with like the pickup scene and stuff This sounds really useful because for myself and a lot of people I knew in the layers and stuff They had one of their biggest problems was sabotaging themselves Because they're motivated the fact that they're learning about it means they're motivated to learn about it and to do things with it And because of that they're then like they're always doing way too much and they're always screwing themselves up That was me too and it's it's it's almost like um well it's It's it's different at first because it's almost a tough sell because so much of the industry so much of the marketing is We want to give you these tips and we want to give you this action based step by step And it doesn't help anyone The the long run and so I had to make a book and the main point of my book is just about getting out of your own way It's just about getting out of your head because you know When you're you're in your head thinking big premise of mine throughout my 21 convention speeches when you're in your head Overthinking that's when you sabotage yourself. So how do I create a book? Who's essential message is to stop trying? um It's we there's this There's this dichotomy in this industry where people are like well Yeah, you want to not be dependent on the outcome You know, you don't want to you don't want to have an agenda But then here's do all these things to try to get the specific outcome and have this agenda So how do I write a book that stays true to that? Hey get out of your head. Hey just be present with somebody um You know you're you're most attractive when you're not trying to be attractive Then how can I build content around around that? How can I how can I help to describe that as thoroughly as possible? Yeah, actually One of the things that I wanted to say to that that I think everybody should look at towards what nick is describing is He's talking about actual behavioral change change with who you are The reasons why one doesn't achieve success in any area is not because you haven't just gotten the result I mean the result is one moment one moment But for you to be that man that can achieve excellence and dude, this is the thing and this is what I've seen in your coaching You help a guy with dating On a true principal base. It's not just some advertisement word a true principal base He'll get better in other areas of his life because he lives that man and your book breaks that that's That's pretty awesome. Yeah, I mean I talk about how this stuff affects your professional life quite a bit of the book as well I mean if you're just kind of person your your income is mostly dependent on how the people that are around you How much they like you? I mean, that's just kind of study after study shows this and so yes It's good to be good at your craft and you shouldn't stop developing your talents, of course Um, but if you're working around any other people whatsoever like the better you get along with them That's huge for the quality. You're totally calibrated. You just treat yourself in the foot and you screw things up Absolutely Even with uh, I mean you mentioned change in other areas of life. It reminds me of help too A lot of people who are say like really obese or have like, you know weight problems and stuff Changing this part of life and having success and it can definitely drive Uh the motivation and determination to achieve success in like different parts even with your health I've seen tons of guys I've worked with go on to just Lose a ton of weight. Not surprised. Not surprised. Get more motivated in their careers Like everybody's on their own path, but yeah, but yeah, all this stuff definitely fits together cool It's all the questions I have Yeah, man, there's plenty of questions in the feed. Yeah, what do we actually hack into that and I really appreciate you guys Uh watching this, um So let's let's get to some of your guys's questions answer that sort of stuff Um, let's bring up the laptop and I can the exciting I love live questions Just one second here guys Okay, cool. I want to bring this up here a little bit. Yeah, sure. I can read them off. Yeah, I want to Yeah, I just pressed something here. So sorry Okay, so, uh, do you want to do it? You're a better reader than I am You're a better reader. That's that's the truth. If you guys don't know this. I like I'll be like that is funny Let's do this takes your questions Uh, do you include any non-sexual related life advice in your book? Oh, yeah You want to you mentioned the conversation only one third of the the content is sexual I mean the rest of it is just interacting Platonically with any other person you need those elements too if you're going to Interact in a more sexual way. You can't just be kind of socially Lacksadaisical in other areas and just being sexual. I won't work either. Yeah Okay, um, let's move on How do you define improvement in social and sexual communication? Improvement in people's comfort and their social or sexual lives improvement in the results and their happiness So he's asking about a definition of social and sexual communication. Yeah Um, it's it's going to be improvement in the interactions they see with other people and how they feel about those interactions Okay, um, how comfortable they feel how how confident they feel with the way that they're going Um, how much they're enjoying it? How much you're just having fun interacting with other people And then seeing those positive benefits and creating kind of a Uh positive circle for them Actually, I have one thing that I wanted to add to that. Do you see is a difference in social and sexual communication So is there a difference between social and sexual communication? I can how to coach from that Well, yeah, opening up the sexual communication. We focus on that. We take a day of our program just to focus on I'm doing, you know, classroom sessions and everything else and so a section of the book definitely because You know, your sexual communication is just another part of your overall social communication. It's just a smaller section of this bigger piece Um, if somebody is repressing that part of themselves and just, you know, flirting with with whomever just for the fun of it Not because you're trying to get something but just enjoying Someone else's company and all the natural feelings that come up when you do so and and communicate with those feelings That's just saying i'm happy with all of myself. I'm not ashamed of any part of myself That's why so people that are slightly more flirtatious at the office aren't getting ahead It's because they're they're just showing complete confidence with who they are It's not because they're like, oh, they're seducing people and everything So so being confident with your your your sexuality is just about being Confident with all I think it's a really great point. It's not like some sleazy thing. It's getting my head It's that they're it's displaying Value it's like positive values that people want to be around Yeah, the further you in other areas. So I think helping the guys to unlock that part and communicate just more generally with that part Just fosters and overall confidence and everything cool Okay, uh, is your book about eliminating social weirdness awkwardness I don't know how to put it. Maybe it doesn't speak English. Social anxiety. Social anxiety. Yeah I'm not going to say weirdness or awkwardness even though my behavior could be described as that plenty of times That's what made us good. We're human beings. Appreciate that I was there too, man So, yeah, it's it's all about kind of looking at behaviors that are are hindering you from connecting more fully with people in a moment and Figuring on how to overcome those behaviors Okay There's a whole bunch. Yeah. Yeah, we're just let me look through and find which one is the uh The best I mean, that's kind of a logistical one. That's worth addressing. Yeah, go for it Someone said uh, I am in South Africa. How can I get more stuff by nick? I guess Don't you have an online program? I do have an online program on my website. The book will be coming out soon on amazon if you have a kindle or kindle app um, and then my website has um Um, I do coaching calls via skype. So anywhere in the world. I've done calls Okay, um, we'll fit something in with both of our time zones at work out usually Um, there's no link to your website in the video, but it's sparks of attraction dot com Yeah, pretty easily the sparks of attraction dot com There is a link to your facebook page though in there and they can add you on facebook, right? Absolutely and get all my information through there most most updates for the book or Usually speeches like this that i'm doing i'll post to facebook. Cool. Yeah, I appreciate when you post the speeches and stuff Of course. Yeah, it helps helps a lot Cool. Yeah, there's a there's a couple questions here and let's uh, how much time do we have for Um, we can go another five seven minutes I'm gonna try to get it Yeah, about so definitely keep your questions about the books guys that would that or the book that would be really awesome But um tomorrow we'll be doing one of these where we answer questions about anything But for 21 hundred percent just a hundred percent, um question answering time, right? So actually this tomorrow there's going to be a 100 question answering thing What you have to do for that is you have to be a part of 21 university Which is like the best freaking deal in town. So how is the definitive streaming service for men in the world? How do they how do they get on that? It's one dollar one dollar one dollar Um, let me take actually a look make it easy for them Uh to get on 21 university So it's like really easy for you guys You just go to the youtube description for this video like the video description and there's a link It says attend the exclusive 21 university live stream featuring nick sparks for one dollar There's a link and you click it. That's it You'll get a 30 day trial which will include the live stream tomorrow, and it's a dollar And I highly recommend it because nick will be taking just non-stop q&a for like an hour I love doing that. It's one of my favorite things. It's pretty fun And um, wouldn't they also get an immediate access to my 2014? This is actually pretty important bonus. Thank you for reminding me because I forgot. Yeah 21 university is basically like netflix for men and it includes pre-release access So you can watch nick's brand new speech before it's on youtube or anywhere else on 21 university And that's included when you pay the dollar for a trial And it includes premium access to all of your old speeches No ads on them. Uh, nothing nothing youtube's like has stuff all over the place 21 university is like really clean and like uh, perfect and it has all those old talks So you can go watch them again and again Which I recommend uh people ask me sometimes how I've improved my life And a lot of it's just through the speeches that these guys give Specifically I watch them again and again and again and I don't have to watch ads like all this like crazy stuff No, I helped dude. It's it's all of you guys There's almost a hundred speakers And having really good clean access to your speeches like I do on my hard drives Just because I'm the guy that runs the company It's really powerful and 21 university is a big part of how we've been able to do that for everyone else They can just watch your speeches whenever they want and there's nothing getting in the way of that nothing to distract them Cool super focused Can we sneak in one more question? Yeah, yeah, so what what would you say is your main contribution to It's written kind of odd, but uh, I believe development self-development What's your main contribution to the I guess development of man being a better man. She is the ideal man I don't know. I'm dropping the bucket in the grand scheme of things man. There's there's so many other things I just I've been fortunate enough to You know work with just a lot of individuals and improve their life And you know, so what what's the overall impact I've made on this or that? I don't know but in terms of just the people I've gotten a chance to work with Um that I know I've talked to who I talk with Um, I know that I've been able to make a positive impact in their life at least and then they've gone and and That's influenced the people that they've known So we've also influenced millions of people on youtube man who talks about 1.5 million views at this point all together Which is pretty powerful So some of the best in the world man at least youtube at least youtube agrees with that statement People just go crazy over them. Well, if anything, I hope that I've Helping people to not overthink things as much as just kind of get in touch with what they want who they are I'd actually say that you brought a very good face In mentality to talking to women because what were the options? I mean, there were always guys out there giving them What were the options that men had to look for it was like this when you talk to a guy that isn't familiar with the dating scene What does he do? He finds like all this spammy crap online through google But the 21 convention what your speeches did man Instant product formula over my dating books, you know, I was talking about how when I didn't know much that I was teaching But I still have these pillars of what am I just keeping me going making sure I'm moving in the right direction Is my coaching evolved one of those has always been like how would Like women feel if they were hearing me teach this How would my mother feel if she was hearing me teach this? Yeah, so I always try to keep my You know message as I think I haven't been perfect I've been learning with that as long as I've gone along But it's always like, you know universal trying to keep it What's going to be at the anybody and not just Turn people off from hearing it because I think that there was a lot of that I think you've tried to keep it before you tell me you try to keep it on what's important And I think you've done a good job of that and that's also just reminding people that You know, this isn't something that needs Um, you know secret language to talk about it doesn't need to be hidden and kept in the in the shadows I mean, this is a natural beautiful thing that people have been discussing For, you know thousands and thousands and thousands of years And so it shouldn't be something that we have to like keep as weird as possible It should be something that's in a layer. Yes Trying to discuss so that's always been a guiding principle as well remains So there's actually another one here and it says I tend to get Attached very quickly to a girl even within the first interaction How do I Away from loss aversion And realize there's plenty of more fish. Basically, how do I not get in my head about that? Yeah, no, that can be a tough one. Um Especially since you said it's not like just one time that happens and you meet somebody that you really just Um either you do have a once-in-a-lifetime type of connection with or twice three four times in lifetime Um, this is happening more often for you. This is happening more randomly. It's meeting somebody and it's kind of Deify them slightly And and slightly you're just so anxious because you kind of got them on so much of a pedestal You freak out and you're not able to interact with probably a pedestal They don't even know they're on like it's in your head that they're up there But oh, yeah And they can feel that too as soon as a guy starts, you know, imagining them is so great and starts treating Well, how can I get the reaction that I want from them? How can I get them to like me? How can I say the right thing? Women can just sense that almost immediately and it's kind of a it's a major It's incredibly repelling It's natural that you're doing it. It's it's certainly not uh an uncommon thing But you know a couple things to keep in mind one, they're just human beings There they just want somebody that they can interact with normally To I would say practice interacting with people Normally practice how many times are you going out to different groups or clubs that you might want to check out and Meeting people who are also looking to socialize and meet new people and holding conversations with them and getting to know them and then developing muscles of of just um, you know enjoying a conversation without trying to Oh god, how do I get that positive reaction from them reinforcing positive healthy conversation habits with other people? So that when you do encounter someone that makes your heartbeat a little bit faster You're you're not going to automatically fall into this one Kind of rut that you've got in your brain going but you've kind of developed an alternate form of Communicating with someone because you're on solid ground. It sounds like it sounds to me like you're tapping people build like a foundation They can actually have a conversation on that way when they get into that moment They're not like stumbling all over the place Yeah, the only trick with anything I should I teach is simply to not treat the pretty girl any differently Just get over that. Oh buzzing that you're having just It's it's like, you know, you look at a basketball player who's who's entering the playoffs and it's more Cameras more lights. It's more nervous for everybody if he hasn't been practicing just dribbling and passing and shooting Like all his life and getting that muscle memory and when the pressure's on he'd never be able to hit that shot So it's about developing these social muscles so that when you're in that situation with someone Yes, you see you do this thing sometimes. It's perfectly natural. It's perfectly normal But they're just a human being they're just like every other person that you've been talking with To be able to stay present and enjoy that conversation versus trying to figure out what you have to do to get your Your positive effect that you want. It's a process. You gotta work on it for a little while now That actually brings up pretty some pretty awesome one more Nick man, Nick says I love doing this and more the merrier one one novelty question we have Is well, this one will be quick How does nick sparks? Have such a great beard. Look at that. Perfect touch and how do women respond to it? Oh, yeah, yeah, let's talk about that Um, and then it's it just kind of grows This is like oh, this is like a week and a half two weeks of me just being not feeling like shaving Although if I do slightly feel like shaving, but I know you're coming to town to film something. I'll let it Just a little bit Well and when you do shave That that was one of the we have an amazing Whatever maria got you a gift on it. Yes when I do have to shave. I've got a very nice birthday present this one is uh Uh one that is actually pretty very nick sparks question Do I have to be the center of attention to get the girls that I want? I'm introverted and I don't prefer to be have the spotlight on me Uh, how do I deal with that? This is totally up your alley. It's like a plant because um, it wasn't us Yeah, no, it's it's a great question I actually cover this in detail in the book and say that that introverts often think they need to be more like extroverts in order to be more popular But it's the opposite of the truth I mean one of the things that extroverts like myself have struggled with our entire lives Is that desire to be the center of attention the desire we develop these witty charming personalities um All right, and oh well, I'm a you know studying example I got the unlimited facial expressions So more and more of coming from the introverted place, but you guys are actually better at at holding Conversations being present without trying to be the entertainer without trying to put all the the emphasis on us I would say other people Like you know don't really like people that try to make themselves a center of attention They like people that make us the center of attention. We like to feel like good when we're talking to someone It's like in your big speech. She talked about it's better to be interested than interesting Yeah, I mean if you look at how to win friends and influence people That's basically the point of the entire book is put the emphasis on the other person instead of on yourself So introverts can be much better at doing that extroverts It's a lot more difficult to get over their desire to be the center One one thing that's really important about that too and that we've talked about separately is that To get emotion or rapport empathy out of somebody You don't need to be an extrovert or person it gets in the way of it to have seduction in that moment It requires intimacy And to be an extrovert it actually gets in the way of it. So that's why it's like such a nick sparks question Um, one quick one and then we got to wrap it up. But how big of a book are we looking at here? Yeah, actually, yeah, that's a good question. Uh, do you have an estimate on the total one? Um, I don't know how this is going to transition out in kindle formatting and paperback formatting But right now we're looking at about, uh, over 30 000 words. Okay, however that Okay, that's pretty meaty. The uh, one thing that I'd like to say guys is that That basically the the deal here is is that nick is going to be here tomorrow at the same time And in order to get onto that if you go to the link, you know, just Within the of what you're watching right now if you go to that link And you sign up it's it's one dollar. You can type in whatever questions Him and anthony are basically going to be here and nick's going to be answering those questions It's like a one-on-one but virtual and it's just one of those great things that the 21 university is bringing to the table of coaching teaching and building a more Godlike intimate Way of learning, you know, we've had the speeches online for years And now we have access directly to the coaches Well, it's like they mentioned earlier the speeches are very like one directional Uh, we were tomorrow and like this right now a little bit, but especially tomorrow It's like the two-way conversation So it's it's a lot more fun. It's uh, it's pretty cool stuff My favorite parts of the speeches are when i'm doing the q and a yeah, yeah The preparing and this litany, you know, it's important, but I enjoy just answering questions spur of the moment Cool for my most Well, uh, we're gonna wrap up But please come tomorrow on the 20 university live stream sign up for a dollar And add nick on facebook you can follow him there for book updates coming this year That's something that will come out sooner than later. Okay Well, we'll leave the boat be launched at that because a lot of people buggy about that, right? Yes It's the most commonly asked question. I get it Only get it. Yep. Okay. See you later guys. See you guys appreciate your time