 Ladies and gentlemen, Colgate Dental Cream presents the Dennis Day Show, written by Frank Galen. With Paula Winslow, Dink Trout, John Brown, Charles Dant of the Orchestra, yours truly, Vern Smith, and starring our popular young singer in A Day in the Life of Dennis Day. By today and before every day, use Colgate Dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. Here's Dennis to sing, When am I going to kiss you good morning? When am I going to kiss you good morning? Just like I kiss you good night. How can I not in my songs? I won't be satisfied until we're mister and missus. But when am I going to kiss you good night? When can I put the ring on? It's in our little kitchen. But when am I going to... Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. No other toothpaste does a better job of cleaning your teeth than Colgate Dental Cream. For Colgate Dental Cream has a safe polishing agent that cleans your teeth both gently and thoroughly, brings out their natural sparkle and beauty. And scientific tests prove that Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. Yes, actual scientific tests prove conclusively that in seven out of ten cases, Colgate Dental Cream instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. Colgate Dental Cream is famous for its wonderful wake-up flavor too. Nationwide tests of leading toothpaste prove that Colgate Dental Cream is preferred for flavor over other brands tested. So try Colgate Dental Cream to bring out the natural sparkle and beauty of your teeth. For a wake-up flavor you'll thoroughly enjoy. And use Colgate Dental Cream twice a day and before every date to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. Well, it's breakfast time as we look in at the Anderson boarding house in Weaverville where our young hero Dennis Day Rooms. And Dennis has just come downstairs. But there isn't any breakfast on the table this morning. In fact, the table isn't even set. And Mildred and the head of the Anderson family are both strangely absent. Morning, Mr. Anderson. Where's Mrs. Anderson and Mildred? They're down at the hospital, Dennis. The hospital? Mr. Anderson, you don't mean that. Oh, no, no, no, no. They just went down there to be with that young Blake woman who lives next door. Yeah, see, at five o'clock this morning Mrs. Blake was blessed with a little visitor. You mean she had, if you'll pardon the expression, a baby? She did indeed. Gee, what are they going to call the child? Rosalie. Probably a girl, huh? Well, that's the opinion down at the hospital. Anyhow, Mr. Blake's been in New York on business. So, whoopsie, staying with his wife until he can get here on the afternoon plane. Oh, I see. Boy, I'll bet Mr. Blake was thrilled when he heard the news. Yes, and that's a thrill. It should come to every married man, Dennis. It's always been my opinion that men should become fathers. Mine too, Mr. Anderson, because if they don't, who's gonna? What I mean is that every man should settle down and raise a family, Dennis. And that means you. Gee, it's nice of you to group me with the men, Mr. Anderson. How could I possibly afford it on my salary? Well, have you ever asked Mr. Willoughby for a raise? Sure. And? He said I was a blankety-blank young upstart. Just like that? No, we filled in the blanks. Well, maybe you weren't forceful enough. He'd take a different tone if you threatened to quit. You mean to leave him? Of course. That's what I did with my first boss. Why, when I went in to see him, I didn't know the meaning of the word fear. I bet it before I was married, of course. Oh, yes, sir. Now, look, let's rehearse your speech right now. We'll pretend that I'm Mr. Willoughby, and you've come in to see me about a raise. Okay? Okay. What'll I say? Say, Mr. Willoughby, I insist on more money. I'll say it just like that. All right. Mr. Willoughby, I insist on more money. Oh, no. In your own voice, Dennis, my goodness. Okay. Mr. Willoughby, I... That is, could you... I mean, would you... No, Dennis, you've got to be firm. You want something. Put yourself in the same mood that you're in when you demand a kiss from Milted. Now, go ahead. All right. Mr. Willoughby, kiss me. Dennis! It slipped out, Mr. Anderson. The mood carried me away. Well, now, do it now. Do it right this time. You're demanding a raise. Get tough. Try to frighten me. Okay. I will. Mr. Willoughby? Yes, Dennis? Ah! Very good. Now, make me really cringe. Mr. Willoughby, it's time we had a showdown. I want more money, see? And if I don't get it, I'm walking out that door for good. Oh, please, Dennis, you can't do this to me. Don't quit. I'll give you anything you say. Anything, only don't quit. Oh, please, Dennis, please. Gee, Mr. Anderson, you're a wonderful cringer. Thank you, son. Now, you go down to that drugstore and give it to Mr. Willoughby the way you gave it to me. He liked it just like I did. Gee, I hope so. Although, I thought you overdid it a little when you got down on your knees and started licking my hand. And so, off our young hero went to the drugstore, determined to put Mr. Anderson's advice to the test. Straight up to Mr. Willoughby, he marched, his eyes cold and pitiless, and his voice held no hint of indecision when he spoke. Mr. Willoughby? Yes, Dennis? Ah! What's the matter, got a cold? No, Mr. Willoughby, it's time we had a showdown. I want more money, see? And if I don't get it, I'm walking out that door for good. Here's your hat, son. And lots of luck. Huh? Best offer I've had all year. Goodbye! Honest, Mr. Anderson, I did it just the way you told me to, and he fired me. You don't say. Uh-huh. I guess Mr. Willoughby's a different type than the boss you talked to that way. No, I don't think so. I got fired, too. But gosh, Daddy, what's Dennis going to do? He has no job. No, don't worry, Mildred. Something will turn up, it always does. Did something turn up for you? Yes, indeed. I married Poopsie. Oh, my gosh, and he says not to worry. Gee, if I were only fitted for some really good job. Golly, that's it. There's an employment agency over in Middletown who find out what their clients are fitted for. They give them aptitude tests. Aptitude tests? Yes, and we're going over there right away. They'll find you the very job you're really suited for. Gee, really? Sure. Boy, let's go then. Gosh, wouldn't it be wonderful if they discovered I'd make a good retired millionaire? Yes, Mr. Day. So you wish us to procure employment for you, eh? Yes, Mr. Peeble. Splendid. We'll find the Peeble system of aptitude determination of modern miracles, sir. We'll begin at once. Your name, of course, is Dennis Day. Your agent weight, Mr. Day? Twenty-two and a hundred and fifty-one. The big number is my weight. Yes, I had a hunch about that. Your parents' names, please? Mommy and Daddy. I mean to people who didn't know them that intimately. Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Day. Thank you. You were the only child? The only child who what? Just the only child. I mean, was there one child in your parents' home? Well, there was one child until I was fifteen. Ah. And then there was another child? No, I grew up. How much do you want to bet? You're a high school graduate, Mr. Day? Yes, sir. In what did you get your best grades at school? Posture. Posture, eh? Is that all? Oh, no, sir. I once got a very good mark in a carpentry class for building a bird bath. Oh, good. Good. We get, I don't know how many calls every day for bird bath building. Mr. Day, there must be something you can do. What was your employment before the position you recently left? Oh, I was in the Navy. And how did you spend most of your time in the Navy? Gosh, you wouldn't have to ask that if you ever tried putting on those pants. Shall we give up now, Mr. Day, or would you like to take an aptitude test first? And then give up? Oh, I want the aptitude test, Mr. People. I got to find out what I'm fitted for. I think I know already. However, our aptitude tests are of three types, Mr. Day. Literate perception, mechanical ingenuity, and creative ability. We will start with literate perception. I want you to fill in the missing word in this sentence. Yes, sir. The little boy blank the stone across the river. The missing word, please. Uh, Mississippi? Mississippi? The little boy blank the stone across the Mississippi River? Mr. Day, can't you see there's something wrong further down in the sentence? The little boy blank? It should be little boy blue, huh? Shall we proceed to mechanical ingenuity? Yes, we may as well. All right, Mr. Day. Suppose a heavy boulder were resting on a sheet of plate glass which you wish to avoid scratching. Would you remove it, A, by rolling it off with a lever, B, by attaching a lifting block and tackle, or C, by breaking it into smaller pieces with a sledge hammer? We come now to creative ability. Mr. Day, there's a Dr. Hopkins over on Maple who needs someone to answer his phone and take messages when he's out on cases. You do know which end of the phone you talk into. Oh, yes, sir. I've even mastered dialing. You're ideal. Call on Dr. Hopkins by all means. You bet. Thank you very much, sir. Not at all. Goodbye, please. Mr. Willoughby? Yes, I dropped in here to find a boy to take your place, Dennis. However, I've been thinking, if you'd like to come back at a small reduction in salary. What? Work on that cod liver oilery of yours? Ha, I'm sneering. Oh, you've got another job, huh? And what a job. I start at $200 a month, and if I make good from then on it's $20 a week. So go peddle your papers, horse face. Horse face? Why you? This is Dr. Hopkins. Oh, hello, Mrs. Anderson. I was Mrs. Blake and the baby doing. Good. No, young Blake still isn't here. His plane must be late. Tough break for a brand new father, huh? Tell you what, Mrs. Anderson, why don't you drop over here in about an hour? I'm sure by then he'll be... Oh, that's probably Mr. Blake in the reception room right now, Mrs. Anderson. I'll see you later. Goodbye. Come in. How do you do? Well, come right in, my boy. I'm sorry we couldn't have met a little earlier, but better late than never. Then you know why I'm here? Well, who should know better? Congratulations, my boy. You mean I've already got it? Of course. As a matter of fact, you had it at 5 o'clock this morning. You must be a mind reader. Just a doctor, my boy, that's all. And if I say so myself, you're going to be mighty happy. Oh, yes, sir, I'm sure of it. Now about the money... Oh, that's all right. Just pay me whenever you like. I pay you? Certainly. That's your best offer? You didn't expect me to pay you, did you? Well, yes, sir, I did. At least that's the way it was on the one I had before this. Before this? Well, I thought this was you first. Oh, gosh, no. I started when I was 13. What's that? Yes, sir, although I've never had one in a place like this before. No, well, where did you have your last one? Behind the soda fountain in a drug store. Good gracious. And the one before that was in a shooting gallery. Well, by George. And where are they all now? Oh, some I lost and some I walked out on. Man alive, you can't do things like that, Mr. Blake. Mr. Blake? I'm not Mr. Blake. My name is Dennis Day. You're not the young man who's just become a father. No, sir, I'm not doing anything right now. You mean this is all a mistake? Yes, sir, the employment agency sent me up here about a job. Oh, so that's it. Well, I suppose you'll do as well as the next. If you can start now, it's $7 a week. Gee, my last job paid nine. I wonder if my career has passed its peak. Quite possibly. Well, I have to be getting back to the hospital. Write down every message you get and be very careful about it. Do you understand? Yes, sir. And contact me immediately at the hospital if you happen to run across any emergency, such as burst appendix. Is that clear? Oh, yes, sir. I'll call you the minute I hear one go. Hello, Dr. Hopkins office, Dennis Day speaking. No, ma'am, the doctor isn't here. He's out on a call. Pardon? You're getting either the flu or pneumonia and you want some advice. Take the flu, ma'am. It's a lot cheaper. Huh? Ma'am, that isn't nice at all. Yes, ma'am. Goodbye. Gee, some people fly off the handle at the least. Mildred. Dennis, I just had this UF. You spoke to me on the phone. You really left a $9 job for one that pays seven? Uh-huh. But that doesn't make sense. You'll have to give this job up and get another one. Oh, no. I couldn't afford the next one. Well, you certainly can't stay on a... Gosh, someone just walked into the reception room. I can't see who it is. Mildred, it's your mother. What do we do? If she finds out I work here for $7 a week answering the bullshit... She isn't going to find out. Here, quick. Put on the doctor's mock and the skull's operating mask so she can't see your face. But, Mildred... Don't argue, Dennis. Do it. Here, I'll tie the strings. Now go out there and tell her the doctor isn't in. Get rid of her as fast as you can. Put my voice. Disguise it some way. Anyway, now go ahead. Gosh, I'll try. Oh, hello, Dr. Hopkins. I came over to see if Mr. Blake... Why? You're not Dr. Hopkins. Dr. Hopkins, not him. So sorry. Goodbye, please. Goodbye. I had no idea Dr. Hopkins had a Chinese associate. Oh, why isn't that interesting? Oh, you bet my colleague. Oh, well, goodbye, please. Oh, but, doctor, we haven't even met. I'm Mrs. Herbert Anderson. And you? Dr. Phui An Chui from Hong Kong. Uh, could you repeat that? Uh, I doubt it. You can't repeat your own name? I try. Dr. Phui Chui An Chui. You call me Doc, eh? Goodbye, please. Goodbye. Oh, just a moment, doctor. I am... I've been having a little trouble lately, and I was wondering if you couldn't help me. My ailment may be right in your field. Oh, no, my field very highly specialized. Well, what is your field? Noses. Handle only noses. Well, goodbye, please. Goodbye. Oh, wait a minute. That's just where my trouble is. I've had sinus trouble for months. Why are you like that? I had whole body to pick from, too. All I want you to do is look at it and give me an opinion, doctor. Oh, Lily, uh, can I treat you unless you come all the same Hong Kong? Me not belong union here. But, doctor, isn't there anything I can take to relieve the pain at night? Oh, that all you want? Oh, sure. Here in Covenant, uh, plenty medicine. What you want? This? Very good medicine. Very good. Oh, so good. Oh, let me see the bottle. Why, the label says this is for a foot bath. Sure. Don't want sinus trouble spreading to feet, do we? What? Are you crazy? Don't you know what to prescribe? Oh, eh, hello, Mrs. Anderson. What's going on here? I'll tell you what's going on, Dr. Hopkins. Your colleague here has lost his mind. Colleague? I have no colleague. Who is this man? Well, uh, doctor, I can explain. You see, I just... Dennis Day! I should have known. Mrs. Anderson, if you'll just... So that's the way you handle your job, is it, young man? Get out of this office and never come back in here again. Okay. Gosh, if I had any sense, I'd never get up in the morning. Hello, Mr. Willoughby. Oh, so it's you. Come crawling back to me, have you? You've got a nerve after what you said about me. But I've always spoken of you in the most complimentary terms, Mr. Willoughby. You compared my face to a horse. You certainly didn't mean that as any compliment. Oh, but I did, Mr. Willoughby. I'm in a very good-looking horse. See, biscuit, at the very least. Well, you're too late, Dennis. I've already agreed to hire another boy. Well, you can give him some excuse, Mr. Willoughby. Please, won't you take me back? Well, you have been loyal and a hard worker, and you do get less money. All right, Dennis, I'll take you back. Oh, thank you, sir. You're the most wonderful man in the world, Mr. Willoughby. The sweetest, kindest, dearest... Hello? Willoughby's drugstore? Yes, this is Dennis Day. Oh, hello, Mr. Peeble. You mean you have another job for me? Better than the last one you got? Gosh, that's great. Who's that, Dennis? What's it to you, horse face? What? No, no, not you, Mr. Peeble. Some jerk on this end. Why, you... you... Give me the name and address, Mr. Peeble. I'll get over there right away. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Mr. Peeble. Mr. Willoughby, do you know something? You're the sweetest, finest man in the whole world. Oh, no, you don't, Dennis Day. I love you, Mr. Willoughby. But I have my job back again. No, sir, this time you're out for good. I've given your job to the boy from the employment agency. They're sending one over within an hour. I know. I'm him. Dennis Day will be back in just a moment with a song. But first, here's a fact worth knowing. Colgate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. And that's important, as our Colgate players are going to demonstrate for you. Our curtain goes up on a date, where the course of true love is not running smoothly. The boy speaks. But what makes you act so funny, honey? I'm no big dame, Hunter. I'm the guy who's going to be your June groom. Or am I? I don't know, Tom. Right now, my mind's all in a muddle. And I see here, Pigeon, you can't falter at the altar without telling me what's tripped us up. What have I done to get out of step? Tom, I'd rather be bopped on the head than bring this up, but won't you please have a talk with your dentist? And here's what Tom found out. Scientific tests have proved that in seven out of ten cases, Colgate dental cream instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. What's more, Colgate dental cream, safe polishing agent, brings out the natural sparkle of your teeth, cleans them thoroughly and safely. Yes, Colgate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. And Colgate dental cream is famous for its wonderful wake-up flavor, too. In fact, nationwide tests of leading toothpaste prove that Colgate dental cream is preferred for flavor over other brands tested. So to clean your teeth thoroughly and safely, for a wake-up flavor everyone enjoys, use Colgate dental cream. Remember, Colgate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. Here's Dennis Day to sing Charles Dance's beautiful arrangement of years and years ago. And be sure to be with us again next week for another Dennis Day program. More songs, more adventures in the life of our star, Dennis Day. Meanwhile, be sure to use Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. It's new, it's amazingly different, not a liquid, not a soap, but a not only new cream shampoo that leaves hair soft, radiant, glamorous, and also easy to manage. It's Lustre Cream Shampoo, created by Kay Dumit, who combined rich lanolin with secret ingredients. Use Lustre Cream Shampoo and see how soft, how naturally lovely, how brilliantly alive, and well-behaved your hair can be. Ask for Lustre Cream Shampoo at cosmetic counters. This is Vern Smith reminding you that you help yourself two ways when you save all your used cooking fats and oils. First, because dealers are now paying higher prices for used fats than ever before, and that means extra money in your pocket. Second, industry needs fats and oils you save to help produce soap, automobiles, refrigerators, washing machines, all the things you want to need. What's more, the shortage of fats and oils is a worldwide problem. So keep right on saving cooking fats and oils. Use and reuse them as often as you can, and when they're no longer usable, save them in tin cans and turn them into your dealers. He'll pay you more for your used fats. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.