 So the first one, I guess they call it intergame, internal change, self-actualization, whatever you want to call it. Crazy voodoo, I don't know, whatever. The key in the core is awareness. Now, right now, I want you guys to all become suddenly aware of your arse on the seat. Can you feel your arse? Okay, were you aware of that? Eight seconds previous? You facade was like, I'm always aware of my arse. The reason that guys get anxiety when they're approaching women, and Frederic touched on this last night, which I thought was really good, is that they're placing a particular type of meaning on something that actually has no meaning to it. So when you guys see the girl, we have an external stimulus that comes into us, which is like breasts and hair have arrived. We have an immediate physical reaction to that. Now, firstly, it's a sense of attraction and arousal. Then, if you've been into this for any length of time, you have that feeling that you must act on this and you've got to do something. And then, following that, comes a whole range of ideas about what if you did do that, and then you start playing all these really fucked up movies in your head about imagining the worst possible scenario that's ever going to happen. And with great conviction to the point where you believe that's the actual truth. Okay, so you see the girl, she's really hot, and you're like, oh, she's gonna be really fucking nasty, she's gonna be a lesbian, she hates men, I look like her ex-boyfriend who beat her up, and she's gonna slap me and pour a beer on my head and stamp on my testicles. Or something along those lines. And then this thought pattern then feeds back into your physiology, which then starts letting off all sorts of weird chemicals, and you start to feel all these physical sensations, creates this feedback loop that actually sets you off into a fight-and-flight reflex. And when we're in fight-or-flight in this situation, what do we do? We either disassociate our mind, which is where we basically zone out and blank out, which is why guys often just feel like they have nothing to say. Yeah, they literally have nothing to say. When you guys are sitting with your best friends, do we ever run out of things to say? No? And guys will come to me and say, look, my mid-game is fucked up, I need more material in there because I need more comfort techniques. That's not true, because you guys feel perfectly comfortable talking with a whole range of people. You're quite happy sitting in silence sometimes or chatting, and the reason that you're comfortable is you guys have shared language, you understand each other, and there's no particular consequences about talking or not talking. But in the situation where your adrenaline's pumping and your fight-or-flight has gone off, it shuts down the higher-functioning of your brain, the creative aspects, the spontaneous aspects, and just gets you down to like, get the fuck out of here. Which is generally what we do, we make excuses about why we're not going to approach it. You know, I love this one, it's like, we're just having a guys' night. Yeah, I think, you know, tonight, fuck the chicks, it's just about me, me mate, the beer, the sport, that's all I need. There's not enough hot chicks here or whatever excuse it is that comes up in your head. One thing you can do is any excuse that comes up, she's probably this, she's probably got a boyfriend, she probably doesn't speak English, she probably hates me. I always just say, let's find out. And go and find out, that's your mission, is to go and find out if that excuse is correct or not. Because giving yourself that mission will actually short-circuit the issue that you're having with it anyway. So, as Frederick mentioned yesterday, when you have two people standing on the edge of an airplane about to jump out, let's presume that they want to be there, they paid somebody to be there, and they got a parachute, then the feeling of excitement and the feeling of abject terror on a physical level is more or less the same. If you look at actually what's happening on the sensation level, it's the same thing. The difference is the meaning that we've ascribed to the sensation. So, the best way that I've found to get over your approach anxiety is to cut out the level where you put any meaning on it and to experience it for what it actually is. So, I do a lot of infield coaching, as all the coaches here do, and commonly come up against guys who are in a situation where they're like, I've got AA man, I've got anxiety, let's just forget it, you can keep the money, I just decided that this is not for me, women, not for me, and so I'll just hold them for a second and I'll say, okay, what do you feel and where is it? And I'll say anxiety, fear. Now that is not a feeling, that is a judgment placed on a feeling. And I'll say no, where do you feel this fear? And they're like, I just feel fear, okay, but it exists somewhere within your body. That's the only place it can exist is within the physical framework. So if you actually check in with yourself physically and with awareness, scan through your body, you'll find the point of the fear. Often it's the tightness in your throat, tension in your chest, like kind of wobbly feeling in your legs, butterflies in your stomach or whatever it is. And if you actually scan through and check for the location, you'll find that there is a gross sensation somewhere. And then I get the guys to describe it in purely objective terms. And again, when I say this, okay, describe it. It's fear, it's trepidation, it's anxiety. Again, these are judgments. Now just what does the sensation feel like? And if you start to describe that, you'll see, okay, it's a pulsing sensation. It's a lightness, a heaviness, it's heat, it's numbness, whatever it is. And when you actually get into it, then you can see this is what my anxiety was. All it is is a physical reaction to a set of external stimulus. And when you sit with it, what I mean with your presence, with your mind, it actually starts to untangle that reaction. Because there's only really one time that you can change the habits that you have. When is that? And you have to shout for the TV man. Now, when, now? Okay, it's when the habit or the behaviour that you have is at its peak. It's when you're experiencing it. Which is why I think it's okay to listen to hypnotic stuff about, you know, you're always feeling calm and you love everything and there is no anxiety and all that kind of stuff. It's fine. But the time when you're really going to get over your approach to anxiety is when it arises. And when it's at its peak and you step through it and you observe it for simply all that it is, then it starts to untangle and starts to lose the power. At the same time, you get the reference experience of having stepped through it and not dying or not having anything bad happen to you. Because the problem a lot of guys have is they actually reinforce the pain constantly of the approach. Because the thing that's painful is the anticipation, right? It's like going to the gym. When you're in the gym, not that I'm obviously in the gym very much, but I have been once, and when I was there, it was fine. What was not fine is the feeling of like, ah, shit, I've got to go to the gym and starting to make excuses. Any kind of procrastination creates a whole lot of pain in your life. And in this situation, it creates more and more pain because it's something you want so badly and it is definitive of you as a man. If you're not successful with women in whatever terms that means for you, your life will be miserable. That's an important thing to note. Unless you can get the type of woman that you would like into your life, you won't be happy no matter what. So it's serious. Yet what guys do is they get to almost the point of breaking through those little barriers where the intensity of the pain or the anxiety reaches its peak and then just before they're about to break through it, they back off from it. And so they just practice the horrible bit just before they're getting into their interactions or when they're in their heads, you know, thinking about getting into the interactions. And so then they start to layer more and more pain around this whole concept to the point where often they just give up, which is a really sad thing. You see guys come into this and they have the potential to access some of the best knowledge that there is around. And a lot of guys out there have no idea about this and never will find out about it. They won't be lucky enough to. Yet they kind of squander that opportunity. So on a very, very simple and practical level, this is what I want you guys to do. When you see the girl, bring your mind and your attention to the soles of your feet. This is a really simple thing to do because there's usually you'll feel more heat in your feet. You feel the weight of your body. And what this does on a practical level is it takes you out of your head. And you're always being told, get out of your head, right? And the only way to get out of your head is to expand your awareness through your body and out into the environment around you. Awareness is the primary key to being relaxed and comfortable. If I wasn't aware of myself right now, I'd probably be starting to do this kind of stuff. And then you guys would think, what? What would you think about me? That's right. You think I'm boring? Fuck man. And actually just doing that for like five seconds made me feel a bit funny. Because your physical reality affects your internal state and vice versa. There's a reason why when the Chinese police catch criminals, they get them to stand like this. Because that's the most submissive position you can put somebody in and they feel like shit, they're not going to go anywhere. If you stand tall and you move with purpose, then it starts to affect your internal state. But the only way to do that, because I do a lot of work with guys in posture and body language, when I first started out I tried to just kind of clonk them into place. And I'm like, okay, you stand up, put your hips in and then lift the heads up and stick your chest out. And they sort of end up like kind of this, which is sort of not right at all. The way to actually get really, really good posture and body language is to understand on a physical level what that really, really feels like. So you have to get out of your head into your body. So when I see the girl, what I do is I project intent, which I'll talk about in a moment. And then I bring my attention into my feet and I trust and I move. I have no idea what I'm going to say. But as I walk, I'm like in my feet. And so when I do open, it's inevitably much more relaxed, more slow and calmer than if I'm trying to think of the perfect thing to say in that moment. And I would agree with what Sasha said earlier, just say whatever's on your mind. But don't stay too long in your mind. Don't think about what's in your mind very long. There'll be a little spark of an idea and then bring your attention into your feet and you will have presence. Because in my mind, that's what charisma is.