 Well, good morning, everybody. Good morning, Radiant Church Richland, Portage Online. We are now in our Leaving Your Legacy series part two. So if you don't know who I am, my name is Sean, I'm one of the pastors here. Hey, good morning, Sean. Morning, Pastor League. Morning, Pastor Jane. It's a pleasure to be on the stage with you guys again. We did this last night and this morning as well. So we're doing a live Q&A with you guys. You did a great job. Thank you, sir, you as well. Jane, you did the best, but yeah. Took a close second as well. At least, yeah. So please, if you have not seen them, we will have all three services online available to you to see. We have lots of questions. We're trying to hit as many topics and questions as possible. Basically, trying to dive deeper on what does it mean to leave a legacy as single parents, grandparents, husband, wives. And this is an opportunity where the church was able to kind of see what do you guys do as a shining example of mothers, fathers, parents, grandparents, all of those things, husbands, wives. So I just want to be able to ask some of these questions. The first one was, do you guys like your marriage? Is it going well or? I better let you answer this one first. It's going awesome. Going awesome. That's great. Hey, off to a great start. So this first question here is from Ross from Portage. How do you honor your father and mother? So as you're not in the house anymore, you are married, you have a family of your own. Once you're grown, have a family, but they're still trying to enforce their rules on you and your family. You want me to go? Well, I'll just quick say there's leave and cleave. I mean, really, that's a. Leave and cleave, yes. Exactly. Exactly where I was going to go. Look at us. Next question. I mean, if you don't do that, there's always going to be conflict. And there's a difference between obedience and honor. To leave and cleave, that's the command of marriage. You're under your mom and dad's authority when you live in their household. But when you leave, you start a new family. And you're still in a position, all the days of your life, to honor your mother and your father. But sometimes we have a mistaken understanding of what honor is. Honor means to hold in high regard. But it's different to honor your parents when you're under their authority than it is to when you've, like God commanded, the two shall become one and shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave only to his wife. And so sometimes you have to honor from a distance if the relationship is challenging. For example, I think one of the questions that we got in the first service had to do with grandparents or parents giving their adult children advice and even in our relationship and how you do that. And you have to be very careful about that. But I think you can honor your mom and dad, even if they're maybe overbearing, they're trying to speak too much into your marriage or too much into your family. You can honor them without necessarily agreeing with what they're saying. And you can actually even honor them in a very direct way if it gets too much where you draw lines. And you say, mom, if it's like I wouldn't go to her parents as much as maybe she would talk to her parents or I would talk to my parents and just say, you know, when you do this ex and you come into our household and you maybe, you say something to my wife, you need to know that that's not acceptable. Or if you're going to come in and you're gonna criticize or you're gonna say things or like a quick example was my dad. My dad has since gone home to be with the Lord. He got saved in a later years of his life. But I remember one of the highlights of our kids was my dad would come for Christmas Eve every year. And my dad was like a super generous guy. He would come with a black trash bag full of gifts for each of the kids. So they obviously loved Grandpa Mickey. So Grandpa Mickey would come Christmas Eve, he'd come to church with us and then they would get to open his presence on Christmas Eve. And, but my dad was, even though he got saved, he was a little crazy. I mean, he had been involved in some wild stuff as I shared a little bit last week. But so he would sit there. And I remember when like our kids were a little at Christmas Eve, he'd be like, yeah kids, if you ever get a chance to go to like an Indian reservation and go in, you know, on a dream quest under a tent and smoke peyote and find your animal guide, you should do it. And I'm like, time out kids, don't do that. Go play in the other room, please. And then they talked about like my brother. I have a half brother. And he, at that time was living with his girlfriend. And so my dad says to my kids in one of these settings, he's like, well, they're kind of married in God's eyes. And I went time out kids. Uncle Stevie is not married. He's living together. That's not the same as marriage. And in our, and I had to like to say to my dad, dad, you can't say that stuff to our kids. You may feel like that. And you and I can have those conversations, but don't impose that on my kids. You have to honor. Honor is a two-way street. So I'm gonna honor you as my father, but you need to honor me as the head of my own household and honor my wife as the, you know, the head of, of our family. And so if you can't honor that, then there has to be boundaries that are put into place. So I think Jane's answer of leave and cleave has to be honored from both different directions. And then I also think that you have to be so careful to not, cause you want the leave and cleave, but then you can't play it both ways. You know what I mean? Like if I got mad at Lee, like I couldn't run to my mom and be like, oh my gosh, she's such a jerk, blah, blah, blah. And then think that she's not going to have a negative opinion of him or vice versa. So there has to be, it really embolized. You can't play the line with that. Yeah, it's a really good point. Cause you'll get over whatever you're upset with your spouse about long before your parents will or you know, you'll move on and then they'll still have a negative effect. So that's a great point. Would you adjust that based on if your mother and father are believers or not? Like would it be the same response no matter what or would you adjust it based if your parents are believers or not believers? You have to filter everything through your faith. So when God gave the command to honor your father and your mother, he didn't say as long as they're honorable. Honor is a gift that you give. It can't be demanded. And you know, just by virtue of the fact that there are parents, but you have to process it in your heart and your mind and know how you're honoring them. And you have to be on your guard a little bit, especially around your kids because if your values are one thing and your kids are different or how they run their household is maybe different from yours. When you step into their household and you go back under their roof, then you realize they're gonna do things their way and you wanna respect that. Now it doesn't mean that you necessarily wanna stay there in some crazy situations that might not be a safe environment to be in. And you can still be honorable and still have boundaries depending on how healthy the relationship is. That's great. Well, let's move on to the next question. So this one is another marriage question, but it's from a kind of a different angle. So I think we could take it both, both ways depending on who the spouse is. But in this case, Annie from Portage said, you know, I feel like my husband is pulling away from God as I am growing closer to God. And I think we can look at it both ways if it's, you know, between man and woman. But what are practical steps in helping the other spouse build relationship with the Lord, but without like constantly nagging them? Cause we did talk on last night about, it's important to have a personal relationship, Jane. That was something you fought really hard for. And so how can you help that? Let me start that and then you jump on, babe. First Peter says in chapter three, likewise wives be subject to your own husband so that even if they do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives. When they see your respectful and pure conduct, do not let your, and it goes on about all these things, but it's talking about the attitude of your heart. And what it doesn't say is if you nag them constantly and tell them how terrible they are, they will immediately respond by growing spiritually for you. So it doesn't say that because men are never gonna respond to that. It's like, why don't you love Jesus more? Or how come I never see you reading your Bible? Now, do you want them to read their Bible? Obviously, do you want them to love Jesus more? Yes, but there's something hardwired into a man that if you come at them like that, they're either gonna shut down or do the exact opposite. And so God being so wise and Peter, who is an apostle, but he's also a husband, is speaking and he's like, look, when you're in those situations like this, where you're growing closer to the Lord, in the outward way that you respond to them, do it with humility and let your life and let God's blessing on your life and your pursuit actually encourage them and provoke them to want that same thing. And then behind their back, pray like crazy. But again, back to that honoring word, the number one need of a man is respect. It's the number one emotional need of a man. He needs respect and honor. And the number one thing that's difficult to do sometimes in a marriage is respect. So I would encourage you if you're in that situation, you grow closer to God, keep doing that, but don't let your heart be filled with pride because we've all got miles and miles and miles to go, right? But the way that you relate to the Lord, let it cause God's heart for your husband to rise up inside of you to love and speak words of love and respect and confidence and then pray behind her back for them. And now I'll hand it over to you. And I think of like Proverbs 31 is to be that woman where the city's calling her blessed, the people are. You know what I mean? That speaks so much more than nagging, like living it out before your family, before those around you and let your husband see it instead of nag. So. Nagging doesn't work, it does not work. So how would then, if we were to flip this, because we talked about how, you know, there's lots of scripture, what the wife would do for the husband and, but if a husband is seeing that, you know, I am, you know, this is definitely not in my case, my wife is like miles more holy and righteous than I am. She is. Yeah, it's, I think we can just rest on that for a little bit, but, because my wife did this very well, my wife was like, great relationship with the Lord and I felt like I wasn't even saved when I met her and so she. You weren't. No, I wasn't, yeah. I think my leaders, yeah, when I moved here, I told you a lot, no, but she lived that example and I saw the fruit of it through that, but would you say it's the exact same if it's a husband to a wife when it comes to trying to help her build a relationship? Well, I think we have to be very careful. Both husband and wife have leadership in the home because God's made the two one flesh, but there are specific responsibilities within the marriage that are different and I really believe that there is a servant leadership role that is given to men to be the head of the household. And so when you have a situation where you have a wife that is married to a man who's either A, not a believer or B, not really excelling spiritually or they feel like the wife maybe is more spiritually engaged than the husband is, it's tricky because your responsibility is to show respect and to show honor to your husband, but yet they're supposed to be in a perfect world. The man is supposed to be the spiritual leader who serves the rest of his family by setting the spiritual temperature in the house. And so the tension comes when the husband's not doing that, there's a tendency for the wife to wanna almost either nudge him and push him to do it or, and by default actually takes that position. But when it's the other way, and you've got a man who's really leading and he's growing and you have a wife who's spiritually apathetic, a husband in that situation can lovingly, and a guy's not gonna nag, a guy might try and domineer, but his tendency might be to domineer, but what he needs to also do is lead and pray, but I will say this that it is very rare to find a household where the man is spiritually serving God and leading the charge and the wife is doing the exact opposite. It's not so much the other way around. There are actually statistics that show that if you have a couple that are dating and it's a believer and an unbeliever, if the woman is an unbeliever and the husband is a believer or the girlfriend, the girlfriend will eventually come to faith, but when it's the opposite, when it's the girlfriend who is the believer and the boyfriend is not, the girlfriend will most likely walk away from her faith in a marriage relationship because of the strain on the relationship. Anything you wanna drop off? No, that's so good. Just something like even personal. We were going through something as a family and I literally was just mad. It would come up and I'd be so mad and then Lee finally looked at me and he was like, Jane, you cannot be angry every single time it doesn't go how you want it to go. And at first I was so mad at him. I was just like, how dare you say something like that? Like that is so mean, like let me be ticked. You know what I mean? He's like, you cannot do it because your heart is getting hard every single time. And I sat on it and I was, I think I was mad at you probably for a bit. And then finally the Lord was like, he's right and you need to go and tell him that you're thankful for his leadership. And I was and I am and it really softened my heart to the thing that we're going through at the time. Like, okay, God you do see, you do know, you do love, you know what I mean? Like it might not be in my timing, but you're good. So to have that was just amazing. She's done that to me about 10 billion times. So grateful for that. Yeah. I'm withholding not telling any jokes right now cause it's a little tender. But I do, last night I feel like you guys hit the topic of praying together as a couple. And I think, you know, that can work when you are, you know, let's say equally yoked, just use that language. But would you say that that would be also a tool to use when you are to use this language of unequally yoked to actually being praying together? I love what you said last night. It can be either way because you can pull one of these. How many know you can preach in a prayer too? Honey, let's pray together. Lord, I just pray that you'd make Jane more spiritual. God, would you just help her to just want to read your scriptures and not watch Netflix so much? God, my, you know my heart yearns for a wife who really is, you can pull that stunt and that's. That's a Lord on that. Yeah, that was good. No, but, but go ahead. But there is power in praying together. And I think too, in that situation really, and all of them is to find a common denominator that you both can pray about. So if it's your kids, or it's grandkids, or it's your job, you know what I mean? Instead of having it be like, oh, this super super, like he was just doing kind of a thing, but like, honey, let's, you know, let's just pray for our kids and start kind of like with that and grow. I think it's so important. It's all on the approach. That's awesome. So moving on, this question, you know, we talked a little bit last service about what it means to be single and still prepare yourself to leave a legacy. This one is also last weekend, you mentioned about, you know, be the one instead of trying to find the one, you know, and so you also talked about how there isn't just the one for you. And I think Emma from Richland is wanting to kind of dissect us a little bit. Does God have it in his plan then for us to go through relationships other than the one that ends in marriage? Well, here's what I know is that God uses all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. That's Romans 828. And so every part of our life, there is nothing wasted in our life and God uses every part of that. And because he uses every part of it, he's definitely going to use relationships. And so even dating relationships that you might go through, you're going to learn things about yourself. You're going to learn things about them. You're going to learn some lessons that are painful and you're also going to learn some positives. So, yeah, I mean, I think the incredible thing about the goodness of God is that even when we're in the middle of situations, whether it's relationships that ultimately lead to marriage or dating relationships or just every part of our life, when we're in the middle of them, we can't see at all how God is going to use this and weave this into something that's for my good. But it's only in hindsight that we're able to look back and go, I learned this, I learned that. If this hadn't happened, I would have never been in this situation. I would have never met this person. And, you know, so from that standpoint, I have such confidence and such trust in the Lord that even when I mess things up or even if I'm in a situation that seems in a moment like a failure, like a relationship, you go through a dating relationship and you break up and it's painful. I'm grateful that even in that moment, God is going to redeem some aspect of that and he's gonna bring it back around. And so, yes, Emma, absolutely, God's gonna use everything. And so, does he have it in his plan? I would say God's not like going, oh, I want you to date them and I want you to date them and I want you to date them. God doesn't pick who you date, you pick who you date. That's why he gives you parameters. He says, don't be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. If you're going to date somebody, make sure that they love Jesus the same way that you love Jesus. Make sure that it's, I think dating for dating's sake is probably foolish, but dating with marriage in mind is smart, but that doesn't mean on your first date going, so are you into marriage? Are you getting married? And how long do we have to date before we get there? But understanding that you, Proverbs says a man makes his plans, but it's the counsel of the Lord that stands. So we take our steps, we make our plans, we use our wisdom, but ultimately, God's gonna use every part of that and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that he led me to Jane and I was working in a Christian bookstore in 1991 that a good friend of mine told me about and I was bummed because I had taken a semester off of college because I needed to make money and I thought I was actually behind. I thought all my friends are finishing Bible college. I'm stuck here making minimum wage, working at a Christian bookstore and my boss at that time was an ex-pastor and he was telling me, don't play the field, don't date a bunch of girls, find one young lady that you love, marry her, start young and build a life together and literally at the exact time he's telling me that, Jane came in for an interview and I saw her walk through the door and I said this to my boss, hire her and I'll marry her. And so one year later, we got married. So I'm grateful for what seemed like a setback of having a semester out of Bible college but if I had not had that pain and disappointment of the Bible college situation, I would have never met Jane and now I can see the incredible gift that that was. So. And I think of that, I know, I don't know what's on the desk but how he turns our morning into dancing. I mean, like just in all things. Yeah. In all things. Yeah, so how would you tell a young person who is, I remember just talking with young people who feel like the first person they meet, they're like, this is it and then it doesn't work out and they're like, I missed it and then the next person is, this is it. And so as they're, how do they balance the, like you said, not just dating for dating's sake, like I'm just gonna go through 20 girlfriends before I get to my wife just to get it figured out but also not like going into every relationship as like, this is the one from day one. Like how do you strike that balance? Just slow your roll, you know. It's a slow roll, R-O-L-L, okay. So it's the whole point of getting to know somebody in a dating relationship is to find out is this somebody that we have similar interests? Is this somebody that we have chemistry? Is this somebody that makes me laugh? Is this somebody that adds value to me? Is this somebody that I can serve the Lord with that I can see raising a family together and going the distance with? And that takes a little time. Now, I think in our culture, we view dating as a recreational activity. And so what happens is we get into dating relationships, we act like we're married and we invest body, soul, and spirit into it and we get sexually involved into it and then you have breakups and then you start that process over. And that isn't dating, that's called practicing divorce. And so sex is a X factor in dating relationships from our culture that I think traumatize us and leave us unable to trust because the Bible's very clear when you're sexually active with somebody, you're not just sharing your body but you're sharing your soul with that person as well. And you can't unscramble that egg. When you make two, one, it's one. And so you give a little bit of your heart, you give a little bit of your heart here, a little bit of your heart here. And I think that's what's complicating, complicating so many people's relationships. So dating should be about companionship and friendship and romance as I think, if you've been dating somebody for 10 years, it's either like you need to break up or you need to put a ring on it and you need to move forward because that's too long but yet you don't have to get engaged 45 minutes after you sat down on your first date either. And so you have to be very intentional and get to know that person. But like Jane and I met in May and we were engaged by October. Was it June that we met? Okay, Jane. So that's massive difference. Yeah, so did you slow your roll in that thing? I didn't. She made me do it, Sean. No, so I knew I dated somebody before Jane for two years, two and a half years, and it just never felt like it was gonna go anywhere. What's that? Rebound. That is the greatest rebound you've probably ever made your entire life. Upgrade, massive upgrade. But I mean, after four months, it was like I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Jane and so we got engaged and it was nine months and we weren't engaged for like four years. It was like, all right, let's go, let's get married. Love that. And by the way, Wall Street Journal, just put on an article that I think is powerful. This is Wall Street Journal. Secular psychologists say that if you get married young and start a family young, your odds, without cohabitating together before you're married, your odds of divorce are 200% less. So in a culture that says you need to live together, you need to test drive first, figure it out has got it all messed up. It's just your odds exponentially go up by getting married young, not cohabitating first, doing it right. Thank you for that. Which we did. So this summer will be 30 years that we've been married together. So this next question, this can be a big question. So we don't have to unpack it completely, but Nate and Rachel, parents, many K through 12 schools are making changes that are against Jesus's kingdom. And there's lots of different topics that could be hit with this. So how do you decide what's the limit? How do you decide if we should keep our kids in public school or put them in a private school or a Christian school or homeschool them ourselves? You want me to go? Okay. Jane and I talked about this question this morning when we were driving into church. And our culture is shifting and changing so quickly. Here's, this is a blanket answer, and then I'll micro it down. Whatever you choose to do with your kid's education, number one, it is your responsibility. If you are a parent, your child's education is your responsibility and you're partnering with God on that and you need to seek God about the options because I don't think it's a blanket statement. You can't say, oh, public schools is the answer or oh, homeschool is a situation that everybody should do or Christian schools or even charter schools. I think you need to pray through that. You need to evaluate all the different options. Your school district may be different than other school districts and your homeschool opportunities. Some people aren't wired to homeschool their kids. They just are not. And they don't enjoy it. Their kids don't learn anything. They're 17 years old and they can't spell their name. Okay, that's not helping anybody. But whatever you do in our day and age, parents need to be incredibly involved, no matter what. The days of just putting your kids on the bus and sending them to school is over and it probably should never been that way anyways. We just trusted things. But we're living in a Babylonian culture and here's the confidence that I had is when you read Daniel chapter one, Daniel and the three Hebrew children, Shaq, Raq and Benny from Veggie Tales. They find themselves living in Babylon and they were put into a graduate level Babylonian education system, but they did not defile themselves. So is it possible to go through the worst of public school type of situations? I believe yes, it can be. If God's leading you to have your kids in that school type of environment, then you're going to have to be very involved with unraveling some of the things that are being taught in schools. But just sticking your kids in a Christian school is not the answer because they're gonna go to Christian schools, Jane maybe can speak to that. She grew up in a Christian school and she went through Christian schools and never even knew that you had to be saved, that you had to be born again. You can homeschool your kids and that can be a great option. But I think parents need to take responsibility for their parenting. They need to pray and partner with the Holy Spirit and you need to be incredibly involved in whatever you do. No, what do you wanna talk to that? No, totally, I think that's it. That you have to be involved. Back in the day, you get the Friday folder on Fridays and you kind of rifle through it. And now I think you have to ask questions and get in their business when they get in high school and all that. And just younger too, just make an atmosphere where they know it's safe to come and talk to you and all that kind of stuff and that they're not gonna be like, are you sure, you know what I mean? Like, obviously you're not like coming against the teacher every single time but also you don't wanna be like, I don't think you got that right, Charlie. I think you heard the teacher, like set up a meeting with the teacher. They want that, you know what I mean? That kind of a thing of just being hands on is so important. And asking your kids, okay, what are you talking about when you hear things, helping them process through why we believe what we believe and why it might be different. Here's, I will say this though, I will say the scales when our kids were in high school, they're grown now, I would have said, oh, I would say almost in 80% of the time I would recommend that you disciple your kids and put them in schools to be light in a dark place. But I would say that as I've seen culture shift and curriculum shift and worldview shift, I would say I'm probably 50-50 now as opposed to 80-20 on that. And I'm very grateful, I know that in Radiant we have lots of educators and lots of godly teachers in the public school systems and I want you to know we pray for you and we are grateful that God has positioned you where you're at. You're a gift to all of us. And we know that it's been an incredible, difficult 24 months for you and we're grateful for the role that you play in education and we need more of that, but at the same token, there are a lot of different options that are available out there and I would just encourage parents to really be prayerful about it. Don't just put them on the conveyor belt, yeah. Yeah, and obviously we could, I have probably 10 follow-up questions that we're not gonna get to, or maybe we could, but... Got a few. No, but my one question that I would love to ask is, like what would you say to the parent where they're responding almost like they're afraid to try to have these conversations, like, oh, I can't have this conversation with my five-year-old, like he might learn about gender identity at five but I don't wanna talk about that at five years old and so there's, like fear starts to like come into play as they're trying to figure out how involved they should be. So what would you say to those parents? Well, I would tell you that if, this is me and Jane, we've talked about this, if my kids were in a school district that was addressing those issues that early on and did not allow for parents to either pull their kids out or to have an alternative option, then that school would not be an option for me because I'm not gonna allow my kids to be discipled by Babylon in a way that I can't, to me, I mean, I remember sex education in fourth grade and my parents had to sign a slip and the whole thing for that. That's exactly it. I don't know, our kids are out and all that but I mean, Sean, maybe, you know, like do they now send home consent things like, hey, this week we're gonna be talking about- Yeah, so I have a five-year-old, he's in kindergarten and so he's still learning, like, sight words, like what's the, in A. So hopefully we're not getting there yet, but yeah, we get stuff every day. And some school districts might give you an option. It's like, hey, you don't have to be in this class but that, but you're not gonna know that unless you ask and you're getting involved and invested. Yeah, we'll have to probably pause it there but I think it's something that we'd love to talk more about. So this last question, as we're kind of wrapping up this session, is from Ben. So you talked a lot about generational curses in the Legacy series but the way you talked about it was you'd already kind of known that you had some generational curses but so if you are in your family, how do you recognize some practical ways that you might recognize you have generational curses? And then I feel like you talked a lot spiritually, like how to break those, what are some practical steps that you would initiate as well? Well, let's bring it right back to the word, right? First, John says that if you practice sin, it's talking about habitual sin, patterns of sin, you can't walk in darkness, have a habit of walking in darkness and walk in the light. First John chapter one talks about that. And so when we talk about generational curses, the first indicator that you have a iniquity, because that was the word I used last word, iniquity, is when you see a longstanding pattern of a sinful behavior that you continue to practice and you want freedom from because you know that it's not pleasing to the Lord but it seems to have a grip on you. At that point, you are confronting an iniquity which is a pattern or a bent of sin and it doesn't matter whether it's generational, whether you inherited it or whether if you don't deal with it, you'll pass it on. Here's the reality, you might not have inherited it but if you don't deal with it, you will pass it on and it will become a generational curse because we give our biology, our DNA to our children and we give our spiritual DNA to our children. That's what a legacy is, it's spiritual DNA. And so how do you recognize a generational curse? Well, if you begin to recognize sin patterns in yourself that you see in relatives or you see in your mom or your dad or your brothers or your grandparents and you begin to see, okay, alcoholism or addictions or infidelity, I'm just listing off a couple or even depression and anxiety. I wanna be careful with that because sometimes those are physiological things that have nothing to do with sin. Depression in and of itself is not a sin but sometimes you can get family traits or redditary traits and sometimes there's even patterns connected to guilt and shame that brings some of that stuff on. And when you begin to see that and recognize it, the most important thing to do is to not minimize it. It's not to just excuse it, it's not to put a blanket over and say, well, I'm not as bad as somebody else. First thing you have to do is you have to recognize it and you have to acknowledge it for what it is. This is sin, this is not a hang up, this is not a problem, this is not an issue, this is sin, that's what it is. And I acknowledge this for what it is and then you repent of it. Repent is not just, I'm sorry, repent is actions. Repent means to have a change of mind about something. In fact, the word repentance actually means the transformed mind or a changed mind. So that means in order for you to change your mind you're gonna have to recognize it as a lie and then replace it with a truth which means renewing your mind. And then I would encourage you in a very practical way to get somebody to walk with you in accountability. It might be a counselor. You might need to get a good Christian counselor to help you begin to recognize and unravel. It might be asking for a pastor or somebody who's spiritually mature that you trust to pray and to break demonic or spiritual bounds that are changed that are on your heart and on your life and to break those and to get deliverance out of that type of situation. And then start a new pattern of walking in the light, of walking in truth, of walking in grace and walking in freedom. And when you fall down, you get back up. You call it what it is. You do the whole process over. It's not complicated. It really just starts with us going to God and acknowledging that this is wrong. It's sin, it's not pleasing to you. Asking for help and then walking in freedom. And one last thing I'll just say about that is even in the natural, when you try and break a bad habit, if you focus on the habit, it's like I'm not gonna smoke. I'm not gonna smoke. I'm not gonna smoke. I'm not gonna smoke. Man, I really wanna smoke because I've been thinking about smoking. So when you think about the negative, you're reinforcing the negative cognitively. So what do you do? I wanna be healthy. I'm gonna be healthy. This is my faith declaration. I'm gonna be healthy and fulfill the purposes of God for my life. It's not, I'm not gonna smoke. It's I'm gonna live healthy and I can't live healthy and smoke. So instead of focusing on your sin and saying, I'm not gonna lust or I'm not gonna gossip or I'm not gonna be afraid, you replace that lie with a truth that says God has not given me a spirit of fear but a power, love and of a sound mind. I have a spirit of power and a love and of a sound mind. I'm gonna obey God. I'm gonna walk in freedom. My kids are gonna serve the Lord. I'm gonna be married 70 years. I'm not gonna be divorced four times like those who've gone before me. I will be a faithful person. And you begin to reinforce that. That's how you begin to break generational curses. Yeah, I appreciate your time, Pastor Lee and Jane for just showing us in depth what it means to leave a legacy. I think as a church here, we honor you for not only leading the church but leading your family, leading your kids, your grandkids and we just really appreciate the time and the energy and love and dedication that you have given to all of us. Can I just share one thing? Yeah, jump in. I just have this vision or picture of like a potter at a wheel with clay and just molding it. It's awesome. You feel like that's over somebody's life? No, I think that's just families. You know what I mean? Like God is our master. Craftsman. Craftsman. And we're just this lump of clay in his hand. And if we're willing, he can make something so beautiful out of it and make a beautiful family and individuals and children and all that. And love them. And every pot looks slightly different and has little imperfections, little things, but the time and the love and the care that comes out of it. And the beautiful thing is if you feel like, if you feel like your family has been broken or if you feel like you've messed up your legacy, if you've ever seen a potter, I love that imagery. If you've ever seen a potter, a potter is able to take something that's been messed up and put it back on the wheel. It is able to correct the wobble or the crack or the, he's able to do it. He applies the water. He begins to spin it and in the master's hands, even what you and I would look at and say, well, that should just be thrown away. He's able to fix and... Because sometimes our cracks tell a story. You know what I mean? And we're so quick to want to patch them, but yet there'll be something so beautiful about it too. So... I love that. The Holy Spirit is the master craftsman. He's the artist. Can we just do this right now? Wherever you're at, normally I would say stand, but I don't want you to stand. Wherever you're at can turn it over to portage if they would like to take it from here. But here in this room, would you just bow your heads kind of all over this room? It's just, this is a sacred moment. I just feel like the Holy Spirit just kind of changed the temperature in the room really immediately. Holy Spirit, would you come? Lord, I just thank you for that vision, that picture of a piece of pottery on the wheel in the hands of the potter, because that's who we are. Lord, we did not fashion ourselves. You have been fashioning us even before the foundations of the world. Lord, we are clay in your hands. Whether we're single today, and this is our life, it's us, just by ourselves, with our friends in our community, or whether we're a married couple today, or grandparents, or widows, or widowers, Lord, it doesn't matter. We are your clay. And there's no place that's safer than being on your wheel. There's no better place than to have your hands forming and fashioning us, even when it seems at times that you're breaking us, or things are cracked, or out of shape. Lord, we trust you. Nothing is beyond your ability to craft us into the exact vessels of honor that you want us to be. And so, Lord, I pray right now, over this entire room, that you would apply the water of hope and the oil of grace to the clay of our lives, our marriages, our families, our dreams, the good and the bad. Lord, we hide nothing from you. All of our clay we put on the wheel today. Lord, would you shape us and continue to work in the places of our life that we don't know how to fix? Lord, I pray for the couple that is right now sitting side by side in this room, and you don't know how to get back to the place of communicating without fighting. Holy Spirit, I pray that you would step right into this moment and restore hope and humility to try again. I pray for the woman who's heart is broken because of the infidelity of her spouse. Holy Spirit, would you just right now come up alongside of them and Father, put your hand on her heart. You are the healer of broken hearts. Jesus, you said you came to heal the broken hearted and I'm just praying that the oil of healing and forgiveness would flow in that woman's life. I'm praying for the young man who and the young men that are in this room that are struggling with wanting to be men of God. But the example that they had before them was not that. And they're trying to figure it out and I'm praying Lord, that you would put a spirit in them like Joshua to be bold and courageous and to know that just as I was with Moses, so will I be with you. Holy Spirit, would you give them a strength and a boldness to go hard after you and to be worshiping warriors like David who are not afraid to be vulnerable and worship, not afraid to hunger and the thirst after you and to seek out even mentoring relationships to grow in their faith. And Lord to the person that just feels like it's over. Their dream has died, their dream of a family, their dream, what their household would be like, their legacy would be, Lord, nothing is wasted. And I pray right now that you would speak to the dream and their heart, just like you spoke over that little girl that everybody said was dead. You walked in, you said, to Letha Kumi, she is not dead, she's only sleeping. And Lord, we speak to those dreams and we say, Lord, you are the God who can do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we could ever ask or think. Lord, do it, work miracles, heal hearts, restore marriages, help us to be people that leave a legacy, carry your goodness and your glory, in Jesus' name. Can you stand with me, everybody? I wanna invite our prayer team to make their way up to the front. And here's how we're gonna close the service this morning, this afternoon, is if today when we were praying, any of that applies to you or maybe, maybe none of those words of knowledge were for you, but something in your heart, you're just wrestling with and you need and you want somebody to pray with you. As we close and we dismiss today, I'm just gonna ask you and invite any of anybody who would like prayer to just make their way up to the front when we dismiss, because here's what I know, I know that when we step into a moment, when God shows up like he is and we step into that moment with faith and humility, he will meet us. That's where miracles happen, that's the breeding ground for miracles and for God's grace to meet us. And I just know, I know God is stronger than any mess that we've made. And he's better than the worst weapon that the enemy has forged against you. And so today, Lord, silence the voice of the enemy and speak by your Holy Spirit to us and meet us at the point of prayer. And Lord, as we leave today, send us as light and legacy givers in Jesus' name.