 We all live in a world where social intelligence and first impressions matter. So today I'm going to cover the second third of one of my favorite books, How to Talk to Anyone by Leo Laundice. If you haven't seen the first part yet, then you can click on the I on the top right. Now last time I asked for 200 likes from the video, and you guys destroyed it. And so if this video shatters 50,000 views, I will make a part 3. So let's begin. The first tip is that if you want to banter like the big shots, like you're a VIP, you have to use their words. According to Leo, big cats don't hide behind euphemism. She says using a substitute word like adult entertainment instead of pornography is like saying, whoops, you are better than I am. I'm in polite company now, so I'll use the nice words. So remember, try to call a spade a spade. Tip number 33 is to never make an innocent joke at someone else's expenses. Just avoid making jokes like, enjoying that cheesecake, huh? It might get you a cheap laugh, but you might end up regretting it, as often times big cats will have the last laugh. I can lose a few pounds, but you're stuck with that face forever. Back in ancient Egypt, if the messenger brought good news to the pharaoh, he was treated like a prince, but if he delivered misfortune, his head was chopped off. So when delivering bad news, like if someone just ran across the street but missed the bus, don't just say, oh that bus just left 5 minutes ago. Instead smile, sigh, and sob a little and be sympathetic. Also sometimes big winners know when not to give news to anyone, even when being pressured. The next tip is when someone persists in questioning you on an unwelcome subject, simply repeat your original response and use precisely the same words in the same tone of voice. Hearing it again usually quiets them down. So I've heard you and your business partner got a divorce. We're separated but the company is unaffected. Are you still together? We're separated but the company is unaffected. Are you still working in the company? We're separated but the company is unaffected. Next remember that people who are VIPs in their own right, don't slobber over celebrities. So when you are chatting with them, try not to compliment their work. Simply say how much pleasure or insight it's given you. But if you do single out any one of the star's accomplishments, make sure it's a recent one. Like telling Leonardo DiCaprio that you enjoy Titanic would not likely endear you to him. Tip number 37 is to never let the phrase thank you stand alone. People use the word thank you so often that people don't even hear it anymore. So always follow it with the word for, like thank you for asking or thank you for being so understanding. The next tip is to scramble your life once a month so you can become more comfortable discussing a variety of interests because different groups have different lingo. Like scuba divers might ask each other, do you prefer wrecks or reefs? Ever done nightdiving? And so on. So do something you've never dreamed doing, like participate in a sport or hear a lecture on something totally out of your experience. Not only does this make life more interesting mixing things up, but Leo says that I'll allow you to learn up to 80% of the right lingo and insider questions from just one exposure. Which leads to tip number 39, ask a friend to teach you the language of the crowd by teaching you a few opening questions. For example, your friend might tell you to ask an artist what medium they work in, which is the insider's way to ask if they work with acrylics, oil, charcoal, pen and so forth. And your friend might tell you how to never ask an artist if they work in a gallery. That can be a sore point. But instead ask, is there any place I might see your work? Next, before trying to engage with other professions, find out what the hot issues are in their field. You can even ask your friend or informant for special insider greetings. Like some actors cringe when they hear good luck before a show. But they smile when they hear break a leg. But that's the last thing a marathon runner wants to hear. The only thing they want to break is their personal record. So tell them, have a personal best. Tip number 41 is to secretly learn about their lives by reading magazines, journals and blogs and researching their professions or hobbies. The next tip is for when you're in other countries. Before stepping on foreign soil, get a book on the do's and taboos around the world before you ever shake hands, give a gift, make gestures or even compliment anyone's professions. Like in Japan, opening a gift in front of the giver is a no-no because saving face is important there and it would be embarrassing to discover that the gift they gave was not as nice as the one they received. Also when traveling, there's often an insider's price. So before every big purchase, find several vendors, make friends with them and learn their lingo. And once you're on both a few words, like knowing jubilars say stones and not diamonds or how the top part is called a table, then you're finally ready to head to the store you're going to buy from. Next, pay attention to people's movements and pretend the person you're talking to is your dance instructor. Is their movement small, big, fast, slow, jerky, fluid, old, young, classy, trashy? Then simply imitate their movement which will subconsciously make them feel comfortable assuming you don't get caught. But if you want to learn much more on body language, then I have an entire video just dedicated to this subject. Next, just like copying their body language, listening to the nouns, verbs, prepositions and adjectives of your conversation partner and then echoing some of it back can help build subliminal rapport. It can make them feel that you share their values, their attitudes, their interests and their experiences. I also personally sometimes do this with words and emojis when I text, chat or email people. Next, to give your points more power and punch, use analogies from your listeners world. Like if your customer is a gardener, then talk about the sowing seeds for success. And if the person is a pilot, then talk about the concept of really taking off. This technique tells your listeners that you like them and that you shared your interests. Tip number 47 is about not using simple, short, supportive statements like, uh-huh? Instead use complete sentences like, I can appreciate you decided to do that. Or, that's really exciting. Or, it's charming you felt that way. Now it requires a little of listening to choose the right empathizers, but it can really help them feel that you really understand. Next, we'll fine tune the previous technique by matching your empathizer depending on the anatomy the person is talking through, whether that would be their eyes, ears or heart. Here's an example. If your business colleague describes a financial plan says, with this plan, we can see our way clear in six months. You can respond with, I see what you mean. And after colleague had said, this plan has a good ring to it, then say, it does sound great. Or, I hear you. And if your colleague said, I have a gut feeling this plan will work, you could say, I can understand how you feel. Or, you have a good grasp of the problem. Tip number 49 is to create a sensation of intimacy with someone, even if you've just met moments before, by using the words we, us and our. We should have coffee sometime. This scrambles the signal in their psyche and subliminally hints that you are already friends or close. Next, when you meet someone for the second time who you want to make less of a stranger, search for some special moment you shared during the first encounter. Try to come up with an inside joke that no one else would understand. Let's slide that one down the flagpole. The next tip is to compliment people, not by telling them directly, but by telling a friend who is close to that person you wish to compliment. Because a compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he or she overhears. And it also escapes you from possible suspicion that you're just sucking up and trying to win brownie points. Next is simply when you're the middle person from the previous tip. So if your boss tells you that your co-worker is doing great, then become the bearer of good news, just like a carrier pigeon. Tip number 53 is to make them feel your admiration just slipped out. But first, here's some bad examples in case you want to get slapped. Were you a model when you were young? Or, wow, for a fat girl, you dance really good. Instead, excuse me, could you tell me where there are any fine dining restaurants nearby? This implies the password by is a person of good taste. Next, become an undercover complimenter. Stealthily sneak praise into the parenthetical part of your sentences. For example, anyone as fit as you would have zipped right up those steps, but boy was I out of breath. Or, because you're so knowledgeable in contract law, you would have read between the lines. But stupidly, I signed it. Tip number 55 is the killer compliment, which is commenting on some very personal quality you spot in someone. It's not like, I like your shirt, but more like, what exquisite eyes you have. Or, you have a wonderful air of honesty about you. But there are rules to this. Only deliver killer compliments in private to not embarrass the person in a group. It also has to be believable and only deliver one very occasionally. If you want to praise friends every day, then apply the next tip, little strokes. That means letting them know how much you appreciate them by caressing them with verbal little strokes like, nice job, well done. Cool. But why should you do this? Because most people go through their day to day lives accomplishing and doing good things without getting appreciated. But the timing when you do this is also important. And so, the next tip is about praising people right after they just finished the feat. You were terrific. Or, wow. Now what if the person really bombed or messed up, you may ask. Well, Leo says that this is one of those few moments in life that a lie is condoned by most ethical individuals. When sanity later returns to the recipient and they suspect they screwed up, they will forgive you for your compassionate falsehood. Tip number 58 is to return the compliment right back to the giver, just like a boomerang. So instead of just saying thank you or it was nothing, which can insult a well-meaning person's power of perception, follow these examples. How was your vacation in Hawaii? Oh, you remember I went to Hawaii? It was great. Are you over that cold? I appreciate your concern. I feel much better now. Next is a game that can make important people in your life feel really appreciated and loved. First ask them what they would like engraved on their tombstone, then remember it and then don't mention it for a while. But when the moment is right, say, I appreciate you or I love you, then fill in the blanks with the very words that they gave you weeks earlier. Jane, I appreciate you because you spread joy wherever you go. Harry, I love you because you live life your way. Tip 60 is to think of yourself as a personal radio drama every time you pick up the phone. If you want to come across as engaging, then turn your smiles into sounds, your nods into noises, and all your gestures into something your listeners can hear. Also if you're like most people who lose their energy while on the phone, then increase it by like 30%. Next, people perk up when they hear their own name. So use it more often on the phone than you would in person to keep their attention. Your caller's name recreates the eye contact and the caress that you might give in person. Lastly, tip number 62 is don't answer the phone with him. I'm just so happy all the time attitude. Answer warmly, crisply, and professionally. Then after you hear who is calling, let a huge smile of happiness engulf your entire face and flow over your voice. This makes your caller feel as though your giant warm fuzzy smile is reserved for him or her. With that said, I think this tip was created before caller ID. But try it anyways. Thanks for watching. And because I'm approaching 25,000 subscribers, I'm giving away a copy of this book to a random commenter below. But as usual, you can either A, subscribe and like, B, listen to the share bear over there and show that you care, C, watch this video that YouTube is recommending for you, or D, tell me to delete my YouTube account.