 From Carnegie Studios in Longmont, Colorado. It's Puppet News. Good evening. I'm Herman Hansen. Everybody stay calm and no one gets white. And I'm Aranda Laheehu. This is Puppet News. Buttless, tripping, horny, transsexual cicadas. That's not a typo. Some of the brewed ten cicadas expected to hatch this summer by the trillions carry a fungus with some unusual effects. For starters, it will make their butts fall off. Once the bug's butts fall off, they are replaced with a sack of spores, which entomologists have described as looking something like a pencil eraser. This spore sack provides the mechanism by which the fungus species distributes its progeny. As part of their mating behavior, the bugs shake their little insect booty. With their bug booty having been replaced with a spore sack, that booty shaking broadcasts the spores of the fungus. The fungus also contains psychedelic compounds that likely put the animals in an altered state, impacting, among other things, their reproductive drive, which becomes hyper-stimulated. The fungus only impacts the males of the species and will cause some to exhibit female behavior, including clicking their wings and patterns normally associated with females, thus expanding the potential number of mating pairs. This provides an evolutionary advantage to the fungus by increasing the number of opportunities to distribute its spores. And just in case you didn't catch it the first time, we are about to become infested with buttless, tripping, horny, tranny cicadas. All is indeed right with the world. There's a wild card in the push to return to pre-pandemic life many workers don't want to go back to the jobs they once had. Layoffs and lockdowns combined with enhanced unemployment benefits and stimulus checks gave many Americans the time in the financial cushion to rethink their careers. Their former employers are hiring again and some, like Uber and McDonald's, are offering higher pay but workers remain hesitant. In March, U.S. job openings rose 8% to a record 8.1 million, but overall hiring rose less than 4% according to government data. Higher pay for workers can push up inflation, which jumped in April as the economy struggled with widespread shortages and raw materials and parts amid faster-than-expected reopening. If companies are forced to raise prices to cover the cost of higher wages, that could slow the recovery and reduce Americans' purchasing power. For now, most economists see labor shortages as likely to be temporary. As more Americans are vaccinated, fewer will worry about getting sick at work. Schools should reopen in September, freeing more parents to return to work, and the extra $300 in unemployment aid is also set to expire in early September. Those steps should bring more people into the job market. At Dracula's Castle in picturesque Transylvania, Romanian doctors are offering a jab in the arm rather than a steak through the heart. A COVID-19 vaccination center has been set up on the periphery of Romania's Braun Castle, which is purported to be the inspiration behind Dracula's home in Brahms Stoker's 19th-century Gothic novel Dracula. Every weekend through May, vaccination marathons will be held just outside the storied 14th-century hilltop castle where no appointment is needed in an attempt to encourage people to protect themselves against COVID-19. If we want to show people a different way to get the needle, Alexandra Prishu, the marketing director of Braun Castle, told the Associated Press. Those brave enough to get a Pfizer vaccine shot receive a vaccination diploma, which is aptly illustrated with a fanged medical worker brandishing a syringe. Besides the diploma, people benefit with free entry to the torture rooms, which have 52 medieval torture instruments, Prishu noted. Since the light-hearted campaign was launched over the weekend when nearly 400 people were vaccinated, Prishu says he has received scores of requests from foreigners wishing to get vaccinated in the spooky setting. Bad news for them, only residents of Romania can officially receive a jab. The campaign runs alongside a series of government initiatives, as it pushes to speed up the inoculation campaign for the European Union nation of more than 19 million people. The government is hoping to vaccinate 5 million people by June 1 to herald and return to normality. On Saturday, all vaccination centers in the country became appointment free after 2 p.m. and round-the-clock vaccination marathon events have been launched in several cities throughout Romania. Since the pandemic started, Romania has recorded more than 1 million COVID-19 infections. A colony of monkeys has lived for about 70 years in urban South Florida, near jets taking off from a nearby airport and fuel storage tanks. No one was quite sure where they came from. Until now, researchers at Florida Atlantic University say they have traced the colony's origins to the Dania Chimpanzee Farm. The South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Wednesday that there was a monkey escape from the farm in 1948, with most of the monkeys recaptured. But not all of them. The rest disappeared into a mangrove swamp where their descendants live today. The FAU team said the colony currently numbers about 41. The FAU researchers traced the monkey's genetics and concluded they were brought to Florida from Africa. The monkeys were sold mainly for medical and military research. One thing is certain, residents of the Dania Beach area where the monkeys live are extremely protective of them. The community still loves them, said Deborah Missy Williams, lead author of the study who is in the FAU biological sciences department. They care for them. They want them protected. Williams has founded the Dania Beach Vervet Project to protect them and is trying to raise money to buy land to serve as a sanctuary. Brian Dominakis, the Colorado Snow Survey Supervisor, gets to work measuring how much snowpack is left from the winter to run off into streams, rivers and reservoirs this summer. These mountains truck snow in a natural reservoir as it melts becomes the primary source of water for Colorado and much of the West. Climate change is disrupting this delicate system in multiple ways. The overall trend shows less snowpack accumulation due to warmer temperatures. What does collect melts sooner and faster, which means less snow on the ground and a greater chance for wildfires. The snowpack at the South Platts headquarters is over 110% of normal levels for this time of year, but that's not the case for the rest of the state. In Southwest Colorado, it's less than 40% in areas that are already experiencing a historic drought. Year after year, unusually dry swills from warmer than normal temperatures and a lack of moisture are absorbing a lot of the water that melts from the snowpack. This means a lot of water isn't making it into rivers and streams, essentially limiting the efficiency of the melting snow. Australia's old steppermen has included eating chicken brains among his secrets to living more than 111 years. Retired kettle rancher Dexter Kruger on Monday marked 124 days since he turned 111, a day older than World War I veteran Jack Lockett was when he died in 2002. Kruger told Australian Broadcasting Corp in an interview at his nursing home in the rural Queensland state town of Roma days before the milestone that a weekly poultry delicacy had contributed to his longevity. Chicken brains, you know, chickens have a head, and in they, there's a brain, and they all delicious little things Kruger said, there's only one little bite. Kruger's 74-year-old son, Craig, credits his father's simple outback lifestyle for his long life. Nursing home manager Melanie Calvert said Kruger, who was writing his autobiography, was probably one of the sharpest residents here. His memory is amazing for a 111-year-old, Calvert said. John Taylor, a founder of the Australian Book of Records, confirmed that Kruger had become the oldest ever Australian man. The oldest ever verified Australian was Christina Cook, who died in 2002, aged 114 years and 148 days. A Louisiana man had a chunk of his nose bitten off by a man he bought a drink for, thought, he said. Brian Thayer, 34, told The Times-Pickyune the New Orleans Advocate that he finished a shift at the Meterie Bar he owns and stopped by another bar just before 5 a.m. on May 8. He and a friend bought a drink for a man later identified as Andrew Neerman, according to the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office. The drink spilled on Neerman, but Thayer told the news outlet that he and his friend bought him another. He said the 32-year-old Neerman walked away but came back a few months later and threatened Thayer. He grabbed my head and took a chunk out of my nose, Thayer said. Authorities said Neerman ran from the bar and got into a vehicle. Thayer, bleeding profusely, got the attention of a nearby deputy. The deputy stopped Neerman who said, I was just accosted by him, so I bit him in the face, according to an incident report. Neerman was arrested on charges of second-degree battery and resisting arrest by refusing to provide identification. He was released from Jefferson Parish Correctional Center on a $25,500 bond the next day. Neerman declined to comment to the Times-Picky and the New Orleans Advocate. Thayer said he had surgery to reattach the portion of his nose that was severed. Doctors reopened and stitched the wound Monday. He said he expects the injury will prevent him from working at his bar. He also told the news outlet that he had to explain the injury to his young daughter without scaring her. Her take on it is just that a bad man bit daddy, Thayer said. Colorado Public Health officials are reminding residents not to handle squirrels and other rodents after reporting a squirrel in El Paso County tested positive for plague last week. The Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment or CDPHG says it's not uncommon for plague to be present this time of year. The agency states the risk of transmission to humans is low if people follow simple precautions. Those include reframing from directly handling any wildlife and preventing pets from hunting prairie dogs and other rodents. Plague is most commonly spread to people by the bite of an infected flea but can also be transmitted by infected animal tissues, fluids and respiratory droplets. Symptoms include sudden fever, headache, chills, weakness and sometimes tender painful lymph nodes. The CDPHG says two human cases of plague were reported in Colorado last year and both patients survived. Police in Alabama have issued an arrest warrant for a man in connection with the bizarre theft of a Confederate monument that was taken from an Alabama cemetery and found in Louisiana. Some police charged Jason Warnick with theft in connection with the mysterious disappearance of the chair-shaped monument Dallas County District Attorney Michael Jackson said Monday. Warnick was already facing charges of possession of stolen property after police said the monument ended up in his New Orleans tattoo shop. An attorney for Warnick said he denied being involved with the theft, which sparked national news stories before the monument was recovered. This knowledge is very new but we are in contact with the Selma Police Department and will be making plans over the next few days, attorney Michael Kennedy wrote in an email. That being said, Mr. Warnick categorically denies any involvement with the theft of this memorial art installation and intends to defend himself and his reputation vigorously. Warnick and two other people were previously charged with possession of the chair after it went missing. The strange saga began March 20 when a representative of the United Daughters of the Confederacy reported to police that Jefferson Davis Memorial Chair is gone missing from Live Oak Cemetery, located in a riverside city known worldwide for its links to the civil rights movement. The chair has no direct connection to Davis, the president of the Confederacy, but it was a monument to him located near other rebel monuments in a private section of the city owned cemetery. Someone sent an email signed White Lies Matter to news outlets claiming responsibility and saying the chair would be returned only if the Dutters of the Confederacy agreed to display a banner at their Virginia headquarters bearing a quote from a Black Liberation Army activist. Later, an email included photos of someone wearing Union soldier garb posing on a chair that looked like the missing one but with a hole cut out of the seat. A final email said those photos were fake and that the real chair was being returned unscathed. The chair-shaped monument, which the United Daughters of the Confederacy valued at $500 million, was recovered in New Orleans. Beavers known for their work ethic, tenacity, and sometimes destructive instincts are making a comeback in the worlds of science and water as researchers look for natural ways to restore rivers and wetlands and improve the health of drought stress aquifers. This fall, Colorado Headwaters, a non-profit that advocates for protecting and restoring headwater regions in the state, is sponsoring a Beavers Summit, a conference designed to unveil some of the latest ecological research on creatures once valued only for their glossy fur. Beaver advocates would like to see more funding for research, new programs such as a Beavers Senses and a better integration of wetland restoration efforts in headwater areas. Before Beavers were nearly trapped out of existence in the mid-1800s, they inhabited high mountain wetlands and river basins across Colorado and the West. They played an important ecological role, according. Their dams trapped water, allowing it to flood wetlands and soak into underground aquifers. Those same dams also trap sediment, enhancing habitat for fish and other wildlife. And that's all we have time for. For Puppet News, I'm Quinta Central Iconthrope. And I'm Aranda Lehihoo. Good night.