 I talk a lot in my book about that natural attraction that two things can feel for each other and the sensations in the body and the chemistry and the connection, right? But as human beings, if we were just monkeys, right, it would just be primarily, oh, okay, I feel like my genes are a good match for your genes. We'd make healthy offspring. We're feeling this crazy dopamine-adrenaline thing. Let's go to it, right? But human beings are more complicated than that because we've got these things. We've got our brains also getting involved and also influencing these feelings and influencing the phenomenon. And it does so in two major ways. Our brain really gets involved in this process in two major ways. One, past triggers, past triggers. And I know that triggers is kind of almost a little bit of a trigger word around here. Let me explain what I mean by triggers. When I say triggers, I don't mean, oh my God, this thing is triggering an unpleasant feeling. It needs to be censored. It's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, oh my gosh, this thing is triggering an unpleasant feeling. This is an excellent opportunity to learn a little bit more about what's going on, learn a little bit more about myself. So that's what I'm talking about here. The thing is though, certain people will trigger some emotions from our past, right? Maybe it was that girl, the first girl you had a crush on, like back in elementary school that you completely forgot, but she wears her hair the way that she wore her hair, right? Maybe there's a sense of humor that reminds you of your best friend back in middle school. Still completely subconscious, right? Maybe there's like a warm, nurturing aspect that reminds you of the nurturing you got from your mother and that feels good, that feels comforting, right? Maybe they're more aloof and more kind of emotionally, more emotionally held back and withdrawn like the stereotypical father was and it reminds us of that like form of connection we had with a father, right? Guys, girls, we're all triggered by these different things and that factors in, that factors into that emotional, chemical response that we have to these people, right? The other big factor that our brain brings into play, superficial stimulation, right? We all know it. You could be standing next to this woman and she could just be an awful person and every single signal in your body is screaming, get away from this person. I don't like her, right? She's not nice. She's not a nice person. I don't feel comfortable around her, but she's really hot though, so, right? Superficial stimulation, right? For guys that's usually, well, man, she's hot. For women, hot definitely works too, but it also tends to trend towards, you know, taking care of comfort, financial stuff. These things are our issues. We're gonna talk about really quick, but when these two, the more these two things come into play, the more these human parts of our brain come into play and influence us, right? The more the negatives start to pop up in these, in this falling in love. Once again, I'm not, I know the name of my speech is falling in love sucks, but it's fun. It's a really enjoyable experience and it can be a very positive, growth-oriented, enjoyable experience, but the more our brains get in the way and the more we start doing these other things, the more these sabotaging, negative, unhealthy, toxic patterns start emerging and it can be one of the most destructive, hurtful, painful experiences in your life. So why does falling in love suck? Well, because the way we look at it and the way we treat it. So let's look a little bit more deeply on some of the problems.