 If someone left your church because they were in disagreement with the way your church ministered, but they weren't disfellowshipped, would you stay in fellowship with them outside of your church? What if they're starting sharing their problems with your church with you? What if they were slandering your church? Would you still spend time with them? I would not. I would reprove them and just say this is inappropriate, you're slandering. If you have a problem with the pastor or the elders or whomever, you need to go to them. The same. I've been in that situation. Most of the ladies here know about that, but if they have not been excommunicated according to Matthew 18, I still am gracious. My husband and I were at a funeral a couple weeks ago where some of those people were that used to be in our former church, and I gave them a hug and had brief conversation. They were not ones who had been excommunicated, but ones that had been part of the issue, but I just feel like, well, not the judge of the earth do what is right. I have to guard my heart against bitterness and resentment. My husband and I did everything we need to do within the power at that time, and so that was 10 years ago and just loved them, but I would do as Martha, if they had been excommunicated, then we're not to eat with such a brother. We're not to have any fellowship with them and reprove them.