 And and that's exactly what we're doing today. We're gonna keep that shit going. We're on a mean streak With my flight time. Yes We're gonna let him find his flight time But while he does that I would get into a Portion of the greatness that this man has already sprinkled Not only in the comedy world, but in the entertainment world Talk to him. I'm talking about one of the most Hilarious comedians They ever do this shit. Yes, you're great. And we had the privilege of watching I'm tell I will hands down save my comedic opinion One of the best joke tell us nobody can tell a joke better. Well Then Michael call you tell a truth or shame the devil. That's what I always say I'm talking about He's done it all from hosting a showtime at the Apollo type shit the deaf comedy jams and shit star search It is his reputation speaks for itself and me and him had a very long detailed conversation About the shit that he did out on Venice Beach Venice Beach, California Is there any other place didn't know there's not no interview. This is a master class Come on somebody actually talk to somebody who was right there and we're gonna get some history We're gonna get some labs and I know for sure. We definitely gonna get some game I already told you his real name, but he'll tell you if I don't call Told Jim crackers for everybody Don't play with the boats money. That's all I could say. I just have to exit lady one thing I don't know what time my flight is Call me back. Text it. You know it really put the quarter that what time is it? What do you mean I know I said what time is my flight, baby? That's okay. We're good. See you in a minute. We're gonna lie back. It's that 10 is my flight So I'm good you 10 minutes way. Shoot. We cooking with oil. Hey, so check this out This is what I need you to do because nobody does this shit like you I want you to pick up the second hand and give them the rest of them Entrouble about me. Yes Often talked about alleged comedian gentlemen and a scholar Intellectual giant a pool of mental midgets and the kind of sore fat have a dash race Thank you, man, I'm honored to talk to you brought me in here brother straight out the shot God about funny, you know one of the best is ever done is you brother and you're young young Already a legend you already Legend the way you deliver it you and your team brother all three y'all be killer I don't know you much. I saw you in a couple of shows, but I wouldn't really recognize you if you stood up in my soup First of all, it's an honor and a privilege to have you stop back graces brother. Thank you I'm honored to be here. I've been looking forward to coming here for a while, so that's it's really good So just how you just how you know that we've been waiting on you, bro I got the I'm starting off with the gifts. I usually make them wait to the end. Whoa. I Want you to have your shit Don't worry, I brought chicken sit right there You know free shit is better Then regular shit like free food is better regular food. I don't even put no seasoning in that I eat it quick for somebody change a man. You know, so this is beautiful. Thank you I can't wait to wear it too. Whoa. We're gonna do the photo shooting hold that shit. Oh, man I wish I was here to see this whole studio. It ain't no job And it's better It was well that ELA That's a E. That's okay. They put an E on the check. I still take Yeah, give me the guy that made now. He is good. He spends tell us let's let's get right into it How does this journey start? Maybe you know, it's so it's so interesting I started by being an actor in high school and I wanted to really want to be an actor So I'm getting all the plays when I know more than part of high school You know, they destroyed all the black communities so for you to come from his like Oh Give me a few stories that the Robert Taylor home But I'll tell you a story about Robert Taylor. First of all, there was an experiment first for they built Projects. Whoa, they built these projects to contain us. Right. Whoa, that's what we'll notice all projects are surrounded by freeways Exactly because of the way to concentrate all the black people in one area from ship break out They can roll tanks Down the freeway So they did testing like either the 50s or 60s called the rat test and they actually took crates of rats and stacked them up and just left them alone And they watched over time they fed them gave them water, but over time they killed each other off So the folks who designed that system already knew how the projects were gonna be We put people on top each other But the main thing is they kept us away from the so-called them, you know what I'm saying? So projects would be like that and I already made the first one in Atlanta. That's what I heard I don't know about Chicago's projects and what I do know is they always named them after black Historical figures Robert Tell was the first black architect brother He went to Tuskegee. He worked on the under car under uh, uh, uh, George I'm from Alabama. I don't know. Oh, no, he was a cold cold brother hell of an architect I know I'd be well all these people were really really great superheroes in history But they put the name on it, but the culture didn't really go With the building they just put that on there and then ran it Till it ran itself into the ground. So I moved in there in 60 Two I moved in in 60 No 63 We moved into the projects Robert Tell homes weren't even projects yet, bro. They was just high rise apartments. Oh, there was a regular Project moving on up. No section. They're moving on up. No, we're no section eight yet And we were just moving into the apartments man and coming I'm coming because I was living before then and what they call a three a three-story walk-up on uh, um, the east at Chicago and it was like That was a bus living in a one-room room. So it's like I was living in one room room and room in with a room, but it was so many of us In that spot, but we but you don't know you broke when everybody around you broke As long as you got love so we had that we had a family that for me broke my mom and dad and we lived there So in the project till 68, then we moved out to Morgan Park, which they now call wow No, so I got the Morgan Park. I wanted to add I started getting every play, you know I started doing comedy. Yeah, and because I was acting but I was starving to death, you know, you you start 75% of actors don't make a living Acting they got to do some other shit. They waiting tables or doing something else without a man Are you in Chicago now six days? No, I'm not Chicago no more. I'm there all the time I go back and forth. My home is always there. You need to always be from where you come Yeah, you know I'm saying so I'm always coming back always go to my community I always get back and go to the schools. I talk to people I'm trying to help my school get a light and sound package because that's the first place I ever did theater guys in the house That's the first time I ever did theater and now they refurbished the seats and the floors But the sound system light is bad So I'm gonna do a benefit and raise money to get them lights and sound in Morgan Park So, you know when I got out man, um out of school and stuff I was acting I wasn't making money So my friends said why don't you try comedy and I started that And started on street performance in Chicago And people would walk right up to me white folk and have any money and I mean you're thinking you're talking 70 now 73 and 74 Hand me hands. I ain't gonna have my back and take shit. All I do is tell jokes. I like that, you know And so I became in 75 probably one of the best street performers and I'll do comedy and uh I was making a killing but then winter came and one of my folks trying to hit no joke On street street it's got So I packed everything to fit in my car at the time I had a 1967 Buick the saver I sold a great car. It's a fucking awesome car. I drove it all the way across the country Car period you ain't right CTA I'm talking about that heat that burn your nose had with that. Yeah, that's bad motherfucker right now I was flashed and it got me here. It got me it got me to uh, venice beats, california I ended up got there And showed them how to do got I don't know how to make money when I got there all these people was there But they weren't making money. They got a guy out there. He just died to my friend Karen Hernandez. He called except uber uber. He was jumping glass He had a pile of glass and he was down the chair jumping the glass barefoot then taking his shirt off Laying the glass one lady was standing on his chest A man was down the side. He smoked a cigarette and he'd get up He did have a scratch he'd do like six seven shows the day he made $40 I said nigga you doing this round You're supposed to get paid for real. So I showed all the people along along that how to get their money. So I would do Five one-hour shows every saturday and sunday for nine years from 86 to 95 You know, and I was killing it. I leave with a suitcase full of money So it was really great and but but that's how I get to get in because everybody comes to venice beach Venice beach is the second most popular destination in california second only to disney So everybody comes to venice everybody come to la bring they people and they got guests They bring them out to venice because out there you could have a cheap date for 20 dollars You have a good time on the beautiful. It's beautiful. Don't let them fuck around here that fair shit going on That fair shit carnival. We like the little shit they have They bring all canna functions. So it was just really cool to do by being out there Everybody comes to the beach so all the directors producers will see me performing And invite me to audition for stuff And first one's robert townsen who I already knew and he got me I did hollywood shuffle with him, which was the first movie but I still don't venice But it was bernie mac man bernie mac. Let me tell you something about bernie mac bernie mac was a black man Yeah, see black men are rare niggas niggas everywhere And four niggas fought out but black men Men live integrity for their community for their family for their queen for their god Rare indeed bernie mac like he didn't go out with us man. When we got through working He went back to the room and got him some soul food man Got him some red beans and rice and laid up on the phone with his wife He wasn't in the I wasn't all out in the street doing all that shit He was a black man doing his shit and he got me on deaf jam I didn't know deaf jam was coming and he made them put me on the show I still on venice went there and killed that motherfucker man How am I not mic with the deaf jam now? When you were talking about her, was it the 92 one? No, I was thinking of 88. No, I did first year of it Yeah, yeah, it was about like 92, 91, 92 was something like that It's coming that far No, no, no, I'm talking 88 It wasn't on 90 shit. It wasn't no it wasn't in on 90s. No, no, no Yeah, he talking before it was a tour. Oh, okay. Okay. I mean when that first start I mean I'm talking it was real or that just got the okay So I just got to the beach that was 86 So we did it probably 87 or 88 And I ended up doing six seasons of that and hosting one But Bernie was always just a guy He wouldn't step on nobody which I can't say for a lot of them for example He wouldn't step on you to get something five dollars more more air time. He ain't doing that shit man No, he was a real comedian. He was a real man. And so I just always salute that brother and his family I would love to interview his wife and I would just love to have both of them and talk about them legends Well, Bernie's from Chicago. I don't know where Robyn's original place I know he passed there, but I thought he might have been from Chicago too Yeah, my dad didn't know him. I heard Whoa, good. Robyn was good. Robyn was good, you know, he was ready But he's ordinary. He just come out. He was like that uncle. Everybody loves in the family You know what the fuck he's gonna work with him a lot I didn't work with him very much at all. You know, actually the truth is we sort of battled You know when he started I mean when the scene, when the play started, when the comedy act theater started We all started the same day together You were Robin Harris Yeah, me, Robin Harris, both of the Damian Wayans, Kenan Wayans, Rusty Kanda and Ann Marie Johnson Did you see the movie, I'm gonna get you sucker Hell yeah, you see that One round with one leg, the lady with the one leg Yeah, she did a lot of work She's a co-sister and she was it for why I was vice president of SAG She's a co-sister, but it was like eight of us In fact, when we did the first show, it was two blocks from the original spot African brother ran it, but he took all the money So about a second week, we walked over to the comedy act theater And they couldn't stand at the comedy act theater But the thing is, me and him both were like top dogs and shit, you know He was an urban cat around here, everybody knew him But I was killing motherfuckers on Venice Beach Yeah, naturally From the head open, right So both of us would show up and we would both battle and To see who would be the emcee, because they hadn't solidified Who's gonna be the regular emcee yet And then me and him were getting to arguments over jokes Who owned the jokes All right But it was somebody else's shit that we were both stealing You know, so I would be doing a red fox joke Like a stock joke And he, yeah, a stock joke He said, how you doing my shit, nigga, that ain't your shit There's a red fox shit now You can't take it back Although, I don't think an old joke should die Just cause motherfucking it wrote it did No, I think we're gonna keep jokes alive So if you're gone, oh, I might use your shit Old joke Old joke The old joke Look, you need that, man, I like this That's what I watch when I watch y'all come up in my room Two hillbillies walking across a field On that original shit And one of them said, hey, I gotta take a dump And the other one said, why are you telling me He said, cause I ain't got no place to go He said, fool, we're in the forest Why don't you go on behind one of the big old trees So the guy go behind the tree He get through doing his business He yell out, hey, well, I'm for the white myself Where there ain't no big leaves or nothing Around his partner said, just use a dollar So he come back out five minutes later Shit all in his hands Shit between his fingers, shit on his nails His partner said, damn, that's nasty He said, oh, this ain't shit You should see the two quarters and the five dams I didn't mean to make a mad problem out of it Hey, what's up? Do you want to make love to your lady For a long, long, long time? I'm talking about to show her why she with you Go to bluetooth.com and sign up And use promo code 85 South and check out And just pay for the shipping and aim for five dollars I'm telling you, if you want your girl to look at you Like she used to when you first met her Go to bluetooth.com and use promo code 85 South I'm telling you, it's worth the wait Pay five dollars shipping You be sitting on the couch like this, getting a salary Whoever did it, I ain't have shit to do with That's what I'm saying, you be knocking the walls down Go to bluetooth 85 South and check out That's the promo code Just pay five dollars As soon as you lean back on the couch You be the knock the walls down Should be calling your big daddy in no time Use my promo code Don't worry, this was done by trained professionals And no one was hurt We just added a little few explosives To let you know how serious we are about you going to bluetooth Y'all okay? Okay, June the 3rd, we at the San Diego Civic Theater 85 South Show, three-handed monster That's me, Chico, DC Ain't no telling who else might pull up You pull up, we'll pull up, and we'll have San Diego looking like There's a lot of black people there I mean, there's some, but it ain't a lot But the way that it's going to be shot tonight When we do it, it's going to be a lot Because they all coming So make sure you grab those tickets And pull up on us Please, San Diego could be lonely as hell if you don't know nobody Right? They're lonely in 90's San Diego What's up world, it's me and Carlos Miller Man, Chico, baby No, it's hadn't And we got a special announcement, man We got something special coming But instead of us telling you when it's coming We going to let them tell you Who we got coming We got an athlete special We got an athlete special We got an athlete special We got an athlete special We got an athlete special That's right, chill the 20 of 85 South Show Live, chill the athlete It was hanging He was doing that, but that's worth Still, you're okay, but that's worth it So jokes are, baby Yeah What I did is I came to Venice and started doing it I made the money, I made money really quick I scared me how much But I didn't start making money until a old white homeless dude Came up and talked to me I was just making coins and shit And this white dude came to me and he said You know they call black people colored But it's really the white people You know, I mean black people when they born They're like a brown They might get a darker brown When they die, they brown But white folks, they pink when they born They red when they mad They blue when they Cold when they died They're like, there's your colored people So I would build this whole routine About colored people and racism And make a story about the fact is Is racism is a fucking joke, man Like I hate racism so much I wouldn't even do a racist joke Okay, let me just do one Okay, a white man, a black man I'm Asian and Hispanic Come over to the top of this tall mountain I'll kill him a jar room I'll kill your mama, whatever So the Hispanic said For my people, you don't talk to my Asian say this for my people Jump off the mountain Black dude say this for my people Grab the white dude Do that motherfucker off the mountain And white folks when they tell If you just flip it If you just flip it You can tell that joke went from So jokes Jokes be coming from me In equity You know And by doing on Venice Beach God showed me that I don't have to work for other people So when I was there battling with Robin About whose night is it Who's going to be the The emcee I walked away from it Because me and him actually got With them battle I went and got gloves and shit I said come on Let's go to the back Cause we was about to tussle and shit And Michael Williams We put it together Broke that up So we never was like really friends I mean we was cordial to each other And then after we became a star We would see each other and speak and stuff I hate it That we never had a friendship You know what I'm saying But you can't deny who he is And we was Just truly a great comedian Had a lot of character A lot of style You know And he wasn't a shitty person He wasn't a backstab And tried to fuck people over So he was just a straightforward dude Who wanted to do his work And be part of this big thing He wasn't been the biggest fucking comic in the world Of Robin Harris He had died Oh you couldn't touch him I heard he was going to be doing Loves told me something about him About the death gem or something like that About Robin Harris Death gem was built for Robin Harris You knew that right? Yeah That's why it was created They created that show for him And then he died right before it started So they gave it to his partner Martin Lawrence The closest cat to him Okay He inherited that role Martin So Martin should be sending that boy's family Little chicks and shit You know because That put him on You know and a lot of times People don't understand A lot of times it's not about the talent It's about the access You know what I'm saying Can you get in a place You know it's a lot of talented people Can't get in Because they don't know the right people Everything's about communications and relationships If you know the right people The way you talk to them And if they know you Yeah and if they know you And if they care about you That's the relationship part of it Because people like to work with people Who they like They like to work with friends They like to work with relatives People they can trust You know so if they If the relationship is cool You can go everywhere If your relationship is bad You ain't getting nowhere You can see talented motherfuckers Who should be a lot further Like me But if you don't have that You're talking the one right right There you are Then you see some motherfuckers I ain't gonna say no names That ain't shit And they got a series But they knew the right person They knew how to finesse it You know communication and relationships I cannot beat that until I hit it enough How you talk to people And what the relationship is I think you should stop it just being good to everybody Yeah If you can stop it just Even if you The baddest motherfuck around That don't mean you get to have an attitude about it You still gotta be okay Because I gave you that shit Just like God gave everybody what they got You got it from the same master I did come the fuck down That ain't number the Lord I hear you right there Mike Yeah yeah yeah That's in the same time Like who? A guy but you know I don't think God got trouble We're the gods I think he's the Bulgaria Profanty Because I like profanty I don't like forget Motherfuckers suckin' my dick Fuck you out That's hilarious to me But I was gonna show you the other day And I'm gonna fucking come out Talkin' about Enas You know we're in the club We talkin' about Enas And then we got motherfuckin' food On the table That's why I would never eat ass again And you know No Too salty Too salty I make your feet fat I Man this is very cool So your access is a lot of it Man if you do your work But one thing A lot of times people try to stop you in this game too So that's when it comes down to your work If you do your work and keep your head down Don't start shit with people You still gonna be able to do whatever you want to do eventually Especially if you keep God first Anybody stop you if it's one plus God You know that's what my favorite search in the Bible Is David and Goliath Because David was just a little bit dude And Goliath was a big nasty motherfucker You know that bad teeth, breath stink, ugly motherfucker And he wasn't just killin' He was raping and pillaging I don't know what the fuck pillaging is but I think it's terrible That's when you just start showing your ass You do a shit that don't gotta be done You knockin' over shit Then you're even knockin' windows and slappin' bitches Dead Grabbin' pussies He was a pillaging motherfucker Cussing mother fuckers out Pussies Definitely Yeah grabbin' pussies Trump would have loved him Anyway David wasn't happy That's when you steal and you leave shit And let him know you stole it When you pillaging That's like you just grab some shit and Now you can walk out and still hang on to it Make a little piece of shit hangin' right there I don't know what it is That's like when I was doing crack Say what? I said Crack and then I thought you were on your Bluetooth Well smoke up all my dope And then help me look for it And we be like Well where that goddamn rock baby I hope you look Eyes all funny and shit We're walkin' fast and fuckin' going nowhere Anyway, I'm sorry, did we get to that topic already? You did it You should have You know what We're in that bed And man welcome back to the A-Files Show This next portion of the show Is dedicated To the chicken You exactly We're saving lives out here We are saving lives Humor saves lives Humor does Humor is healing brother If you can laugh through a thing You can get through a thing So I started doing Venice Beach And back on Venice Everybody would show up Directors from other shows They'd say man you gotta come do my show Or they'd say come audition for a show So I started getting the work from that And it just made me a little bit more visible But it was the improv that brought me in So Bud Freeman who owned the improv Saw me on Venice Beach And he was like I want to be part of the family And it just made a difference once again We're talking about access And this is Hollywood This is Hollywood Well I was living in Venice But Hollywood is where the improv is Like the two most important comedy clubs Probably in America or in LA And that's the improv in a comedy store Laugh factor is pretty important too But comedy is still an improv with top dogs And so everybody wants to get in those And he just walked up to me on the beach And said dude you gotta be part of the family Back then they had a show on TV called Evenings at the Improv Evening at the Improv I mean seven of them You know so it was just cool And that big ass suit That suit was big as hell I think it was my first You did come on man I thought it was pretty fabulous A lot of fabric was on that though Yeah you got fly in the middle In the middle? You got fly in the middle You got fly in the middle But all of this is such a blessing And it's such a It's really such a blessing to do what we do Right To be able to talk shit And get paid for it God damn That's a nice car That's a bad bullet What are you calling? Yeah that's a nice car I asked them not to be revving my shit up While I'm here talking But they get carried away They smoke a fat one And then it's uh okay And y'all have to not smoke Cause I don't smoke Please You know that ain't nothing but the Lord I was trying to be so respectful Oh no no no I ain't allowed to smoke it But I can smell it I'm here Oh you're sure You know I'm like barach I'm not going hell Just come on with me We just smoke it so the kids don't find it So one thing leads to the other Gives me out there I get to do the shows Don't worry about noise Now where is that at? I'm just trying to see If that's your car That'd be a real That's my shit Everybody in here looking at me That sounds like some of my shit Familiar What are you doing? Oh no I said that do sound like some of my shit Can't you hit a button and see your shit though? I mean that's too close for it Not too long Well it's too long too Cause if they stealing your shit They're not stealing it Nah they're not stealing it Oh They might be delivering something Oh no shit Never mind that Okay Never mind When they deliver my Lamborghini I'm gonna ask them to do it quietly Now they gone I got some shit to sound like You got to sound like that Mike, hold on My folks might be a sound like that That's some of that shit Oh somebody get in and have fun I'm so honest with you Brother And um Yeah Yeah the story is good The story is good I love telling the story I had to tell you I was out there on that beach And should we wait for the noise to stop? I don't even think that guy should do it I think they doing that shit Cause they know we can't do it It stopped He went out there Shut the fuck up Well I heard And then it got quiet So No they would do that anyway That is not what happened That is not what happened So okay so that got me on the beach That got me on the beach You gotta do the comedy on the beach That took me to movies And little TV shows and stuff And basically I just grabbed So I do my shit And I keep trying to be As creative as I can I keep trying not to hurt other people And doing it But um But I do jokes and routines I talk about my life And my addiction is something I talk about everywhere People that know they get it out You know what I'm saying? Cause I did crack for 23 years As a martian Of the appeal sobriety Thank you That's a real talk right there Mike Say that again Say that again for the camera I'm gonna applaud the fact that I used to get fucked up Let me tell you something No I was a heart I was a heart Boy I had a goon I couldn't understand how fucked We gonna stop getting high And it's still dope on this play Him that raise a blade No he ain't no And I chopped him up Fucking rocks up a smush him Get him in the stem Clean the stem Residue nigga I kill for residue Anyway I could make a crack pipe Out of anything Piece of glass Soda pop can Tempax Car antenna If you came out your house in the 90s And your car antenna was gone Motherfucker that was me In fact if you got there five years earlier You were something running But I'm saying this I made so much money on that beach I think it was Robyn Williams who said it Cocaine is God's way of saying You make it too much So next thing you know I was out there getting high And getting fucked up And I think it damaged my progression If I'm not mistaken I think it hurt me in my career Cause I've been much further down the line Except I took a break And when you become an addict You put your life on hold You know what I'm saying You put your possibilities on hold You put your possibilities on hold Cause now you on stuck You know I'm sitting in a hotel Smoking with my fuckers I generally wouldn't talk to on the street But I was having a I'd be sent people to hold on Smoked crack My life was so bad I was having a fucking blast But But I was doing it And then suddenly I looked up And I was missing some things You know all of a sudden I wasn't making the money That my peers was making I wasn't making the progress I wasn't getting the rolls I lost so many friends and Associates and opportunities And most of them I didn't even know I lost You know cause I didn't I wouldn't know Motherfuckers still and shit I wouldn't know addict breaking houses And all that shit I was a functioning addict I was a functioning addict That was functioning dysfunctionally So I was working within the system Cause most of the people didn't know When I did Hollywood shuffle Them motherfuckers didn't know I was getting out Robert Townsend didn't know He my friend That was my first movie I had my two lines No, no, it's a muffler But there were two lines Got me $1,004 Got me in Screen Actors Guild He didn't know Bernie Mack got me on Def Jam He didn't know I was getting hacked Nobody knew I was getting hacked Except the motherfuckers getting hacked With me You know and In the salesman Salesman In the salesman You know it's funny how the addicts Seem to outlive the salesman Have you never noticed that That's it The crack dealer Them motherfuckers be dead gone That's ain't addicts I'm walking fast I'm looking for that rock Yeah, I hear 40 years later If I go to Venice right now We just went this weekend I see cats that was out there Getting cracked out when I was there And they all walked right up to me And hugged me You know, hey man He went with you back Mouth all twisted and shit Talking face They're still on it I don't know I don't think that that There's so much other shit in them Ain't no outside shit can kill them You got to hit them with a car You know what I'm saying That's what I was just about to say Damn Crackers live forever Yeah, they live forever The MF is killed Crackers Yeah, they have mutated all that other shit Yeah Hold it Fuck out Man, exact Who might have you got that? I didn't have that shit COVID can't we smoke it? Nigga put the COVID in the pipe Put it in Put it in Yeah Okay, ready We filming Hey nigga Pop your shit Hey, homie Pop your shit Nigga Pop your shit, homie Oh, homie Pop your shit, homie What it is, nigga Yeah Weird ass, nigga Real player Real player, let's think Hold up, my nigga You being hella boozy right now Hold up Hey, nigga Pop your shit, homie I ain't doing it, my nigga Oh, nigga You already know what it is Nigga You on board No, that shit Don't come here Throw that shit up Yeah Pop your shit You pop my P's, you gonna wanna be Pop your shit I might be there, I might not be there Yeah, it's enough Show them yo cookies, you brought with you Hey, nigga Nigga, look at this Look at this Cookies, nigga Look at this Hell of cookies Hell of cookies, nigga Nigga, got cookies, oh, chocolate Hey, nigga Nigga, cookie, that's a carry on, nigga Nigga, look at this Nigga, cookies, nigga Cookies got shake in the bottom They ain't ever had no chocolate chip shake, nigga What they been going on? Mama's, nigga, June 4th Fuckin' talkin' bout Arena, nigga Yeah, nigga June 4th, three-headed monster tour on Cetus Nigga, on, nigga Nigga, on your baby, nigga Fuckin' talkin' bout I ain't never seen your baby Hell of niggas, nigga Out there The bitch is already out there, nigga Hella bitches Hella bitches, nigga Not few, but a hella I ain't never seen hella Nigga on the town It's gonna be hella, bitch Hell of my mama, nigga Cetus, nigga, hella No cap And two is not hella Fuckin' talkin' bout Nigga Get your tickets, nigga June 4th, nigga Yeah Town Venice Uh, what it is? Three-headed monster tour Show them the cookies What's up, y'all? It's your girl, Lex P And it's your girl, Dray in the call And guess what? It's time Curie, it's time for the tour And our first stop Is the Los Angeles, California We ain't never had a show in LA Never been to LA Y'all been asking So we're there June 17th At the Regent Theater Listen Doors open at 7 When I tell y'all get there at 7 p.m. Please get there at 7 p.m. Cause we startin' at 8 o'clock on the die And it's going down And it's gonna be a crazy show We need all the Cali vibes I can't wait Oh, we got some Cali vibes coming Y'all know we gonna have some special guest spool up So one thing about a poor mind show You gonna have the time of your life So if you went to the tour last year And you had fun Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet June 17th Regent Theater Doors open at 7 Show starts at 8 Be there So get your tickets at poorminds.com LA, we gonna see y'all soon Period See, I knew that Hey, what's up, it's your man Carlos Miller I don't know if you heard about prize picks or not But if you a sports fan And you know You know what you know about sports It'd be the perfect app for you So look, go over to prize picks right now And use promo code 85SOUTH And they doin' 100% deposit match up to $100 That means if you deposit $100 They give you $100 That mean if you deposit $50 They give you $50 That's how they gettin' down over there on prize picks It's simple, it's easy Hey, you can go over there and pick your entries In 60 seconds But if you a real G, you can do it in 30 seconds All you gotta do is go over there Pick your projections More or less If they gon' do what prize picks say they gon' do Or if they gon' do what you say you gon' do That is right there So that's exactly how it works Use promo code 85SOUTH Go over there See what the hype is about And let them know that 85SOUTH show sent you I'm on it now They were putting taxes on everything Because of the COVID Raising taxes on everything Even the drugs, too You know Oh, yes They didn't put it in something I even hope that folks who saw what I do Will see how I do my life Understand in my life, you know, perfect life It ain't even close to that shit I'm just a working artist I'm a working human being And my goal is to keep unfolding into my greater self So I want to keep on learning You know, I want to learn how to be a better person But how else will it give back, you know What does that sound? A Volkswagen No, I'm going to click Click Pause the music That's the beat That's the beat coming You just got to use the keyboard Then you got the shirt on You got the music Ain't nothing louder than that But you're sure to make it You've been on beat the whole time He said, ain't nothing louder than that But shut up I've been waiting to say that to him But I love it Oh, my God Look at my sorry My head like yours It had a rubber on it Listen I didn't know that I didn't know we was going there But if we are I'm sorry I'm going to the project now We want to talk some shit Let's go I'm sorry I love that kid with shit I don't need no routine Mike, that's why I love you, brother You a real comedian, man On stage On stage, man You can turn it on You get intellectual You know what I'm saying? Thank you, brother You just said you You got to get somebody To get hit with a car To get off dope You know what I'm saying? So you can It was something I learned a lot from it, man I learned a lot But I'm able to teach from it So What would you say to the people Who were struggling With their addictions Right now They watch it Well, I would say Stand tall in your struggle And continue to struggle And don't give up My thing is I know you can turn it around I'm currently doing A one-man play called Michael Kaya's Mama And I play 17 characters And in this play I go through my addiction So you can see me getting fucked up You can see me going through this shit You know what I'm saying? And what I'm teaching is a lesson though That although you can go into it And go through it You can also get to the other side of it So when people come to watch my show They know I'm a fucking hardcore crackhead That I've been that for years And once you're an addict You're always an addict I'm not a practicing addict But you're always an addict And if a person been getting high A couple of years and think they stuck They can look at me and see my career And my life And my love And my God And see That I went through shit like every human does But you can get to the other side And you can't just stop You can't just quit Just cause it looked dismal Find some new motherfuckers If you had And you can't get unhigh Get away from all the people you know Get away from them motherfuckers People Places and things that have that drug You design Get away from them And find some wholesome people If you're really struggling And you really want to stop Struggling Cause a lot of people who are struggling They say they're struggling But they're happier there They've convinced themselves That this is better Than going to do the work it takes To build themselves as a human being So it's just easier To pick up that rock It's easier So why don't you tell people Who got people like that In their family Who struggle with that That they're trying to You know what I'm saying That you know We could pass that already So of course we get somebody Like that in our family We can't understand how The drug could take over Like that you know what I'm saying So Well almost everybody has Someone in their family that's addicted Something Shit it might be shoes It might be leather It might be food But everybody that's someone who's addicted If you're talking about someone Who's addicted With a drug You have to approach it in a way Where you just gotta be gentle with them And just keep coming at them You know I have relatives like that And just keep coming I send motivational speaking tapes to them I fuck with them I call them up Niggy hat right now Oh good Let's talk You hat right now You know I'm hot Click nigga You know I play with them Fuck with them You don't want to beat them up though You don't want to demean a person Because they already got enough shit on them The fact that they're trying to become sober It's not a joke Being high Really is an illness It's You're sick man You know and you I mean like if addicts You just stop being addicts On they own We just fucking would But we need help And the places The meeting places And the clinics and shit They're not for the people who need them It's for the people that want them If the people who need it A clinic or needed a meeting Went it wouldn't be no fucking room People would have to stand out in the streets You know So you really have to get to a point in your life Where you decide you've had enough You gotta be sick and tired of being Sick and tired You know like with me I kept doing it until I finally I would come home 3.30 in the morning My wife would be crying You know And and I'd come in And I'd lay with her and then She would fake Sleeping Because she didn't want to deal with my shit You know and I would fake Like she would sleep too I'd play like she'd sleep too And snuck my ass out that bed Went back in the bathroom Because I'd save myself a little broken stem Piece of rock in them Lighter for uh I'd have to blast And I mean I would be sitting I'd be in the bathroom butt naked Like where your chair is And maybe 50 feet away Was a bed by a master bedroom And she would never come and knock on that door I'd be in there 3 hours Butt naked Flickered and motherfucking lighted To my thumb was red and sore and shit And never she Come out there don't do that She ain't never do that And I used to blame her For not saving me And I would talk about it in my play Cause the play called Mike Kaiman And I'd go through all these characters And I would tell the story And then I'd be on the floor Getting high In a 17th show I stopped in the middle of the show And I said My wife wasn't supposed to save me I shouldn't have put her in that motherfucking position She shouldn't have been at the house crying every night And having to pretend to sleep Not to deal with my shit And here I am Getting fucking high Doing all the wrong shit And blaming her If I wanted to be saved I had to save myself Accountability Yeah Accountability I had to save myself None of us could save ourselves We all need the Holy Spirit to help us You know That's the spirit aspect right there Yeah, because of any program you're in For addiction Rather as A, A, C, A, N, A Even triple A They all say that you have to be in touch With the God of your Jesus And y'all missed a Sabious fucking joke there I said even triple A Y'all didn't Oh, you heard it That shit was hilarious Oh, you laughing inside I don't know if this shit is working or not It's sad I'm listening Because I know the education is coming too Fuck this joke I want to get this I mean I'm listening to the shit you get Like Joe Joe Nelson with this shit, nigga I gotta hit it I'm gonna say you jumped You got that I've been laughing at you for 30 fucking years You don't get this game every day You don't get the game Yes, so the thing is Yeah, so after a while, man You just gotta get sick and tired of being sick and tired I was tired of my wife crying I was tired of all that bullshit And so I just went to the program Man, I just got in cocaine anonymous And I was in there for about eight months Before I got out You know, I didn't fall off the wagon I jumped Off that motherfucker before you knew it It was right back where I started Because when you're an addict If you quit When you go back You don't go back and start over You go back to the level you were at So if you do it A hundred dollars worth of crap And then you don't go back and say Man, just give me a damn rock That ain't gonna never work In fact, I wish I had a fucking ATM machine In my house back then Because I would have kept going back For one more 20 Then one more 20 out of clean I don't think about getting an ATM machine Anyway, put it in my house I'll put it up against the refrigerator And so when you're out there, man You feel like you're on your own You feel like you're alone If you're an addict You're not alone There's always people here talk to you If you can't find nobody else Church to talk to you But there's always programs in every city There's a thousand Not five hundred or forty There's a thousand fucking meetings Every week In every major city of America So if you say you can't find a meeting You're just coming up with excuses And you know One thing we have to do to survive Our lives are to excel in our lives Is get away from these excuse motherfuckers Is OQP Only quality people You gotta get away from all the negative motherfuckers People who are lying People who are backstabbing People talking Saying bad shit You gotta get away from them Especially excuse makers I don't know motherfuckers who make excuses I don't know people who make money I don't know motherfuckers who make them both And you could be doing great You know and then the motherfucking next to you Oh, the universe has cursed me No, the universe doesn't curse you It doesn't bless you The universe responds to your vibration But have you sent it to the universe The universe sends back greater to you But we don't know that shit till we learn it We learn these lessons by going through it You know I lost I lost the love I lost money I lost opportunities And I suspect I lost respect From people in my industry I don't know though No one's had the courage to walk up and tell me I know there's a lot of opportunities I don't get I don't think it's coincidental I think motherfuckers are stopping me From doing this and that But let me tell you ultimately Nobody fucking stop you They got people out there talking about they'll cancel you You can't be canceled unless you cancel your own self People can't take your fucking power You have to give it away So a person can say no to you But that don't mean you can't do it That just means no I can't do it with your bitch ass So I'm gonna be in do with somebody else You know what I'm saying But you can't be stopped Don't let people stop you If you feel like you can be stopped Give back to God Cause I was trying to tell a story real quick About the whole thing about David and Goliath What was so awesome is David was just a little boy And he took out this giant with a smooth rock A couple of smooth rocks from the ocean From the sea But it wasn't about what he had Or who he was He was like do you see who I'm with One with God is the majority One with God Me and God will take on any of you motherfuckers One with God is the majority Once you really get back with God Really get back straight with your spirit man I ain't no limitation I'm glad for you You really then you really get creative And don't let love come in the picture Oh my God If love come in If you got love You found your mate Your other half And God Boy you're a beast You can make anything happen You know Yeah I like that You like the story huh I love you man I'm fucked with it You're like nothing I knew that shit was good man I like that I like that man I like that message right there Yeah man But I You know one of my favorite characters Motherfucking the boo Come on we're moving I'm always wondering man We're moving then it is House party three The only one that really counts Now one I was always wondering if they like They just let you run One was excellent Three was great With that character With me Yeah with showbiz Of course All those lines All that shit was mad You know You got me They gave me a line To mostly just let me go That's why that movie was so good That the third one was The one that's out right now Is just doodoo It's the words I couldn't find one joke I gotta say it I ain't see one joke DC in the movie Where is it? He in there Okay that didn't go far enough I couldn't make it past that Little minutes I spent off I liked to apologize personally to DC Cause I didn't know you were in that shit But uh How you gonna do Motherfucking house party Without the boat Niggas That's a boat First of all First of all They did fuck up when they did They should have put the boat in there They should have put the boat in there But I know DC was in there I take that back But um I tried to watch I couldn't I couldn't And four The one number four They should Whoever wrote that shit Should apologize To every motherfucking Hollywood And they should get out to business Okay so one and three was great Two was okay Who wrote one Who wrote one I don't know Who wrote the first one But it was the brothers Yeah It wasn't the Huddlin Brothers It was the Huddlin Brothers One of the men that I think it was Reginald I don't know Somebody over there All y'all got Google Google Google Matter of fact Matter of fact The first house party And Google Google Go to Google Google If you see it real fast You sound like a baby Like Go to Google Google Eric wrote ours though And it was really good But what was so cool was our cast We had the best cast Chris Tucker Chris Tucker Facts Had two scenes and never looked back Yes Because the green Bernie Mack Bernie was in there Johnny Booz What's his name Johnny Booz The other group Yeah I was in there For the stripper And Johnny Williams Yes Emma Choo was in there Emma Choo was in there TLC The lady TLC was in there TLC Six is wet Kidding play Who else A simply marvelous Rinaldo Ray Was hurt Was hurt Another great Another great My wife You talk You got his voice Rinaldo amazon His voice No that cast was brilliant And it wasn't number Number fun Everyday it just turned you Fuck you who's the ladies The ladies that was your wife Hey J Johnson I miss Hey J Johnson Freeze Love Freeze Loves and then played to Convict, who ran the food service. Who ran the food service? Convict. AJ was in the two? AJ was in the two, right? Yeah, they were eating. On the food service with Freeze. He was in there with Freeze, yeah. Okay. So that's like a, that was a Friday right there type of situation. Oh yeah. Because it's a big comedian business. It was a Friday situation. Yeah. A situation bringing a bunch of comedians. And if you got a good property, you know, if you've really written a funny ass show, almost everybody gets to go on top of stuff. Kids, you need to get over here. Boy got to part of everybody here, including the love. Shit. I'm in the city. I'm doing a show at the comedy theater underground. That's the comedy theater Atlanta underground. That's not the one. The one I'm talking about is underground. I guess it's back open. New club. The shit look good from the flyers. I ain't been myself, but I'm about to go. And you need to pull up and you need to be in the building, man. I'm telling you right now, come check me out, man. May 25th through the 28th. That's right. May 25th through the 28th. My son birthday around that time. But I care so much about comedy and y'all the fans that I'm still doing the show. Because I don't want to be there for all them people and kids. I'm gonna pay for it. But I'm not gonna be there for all of them. Be there for some of them. But not all of them. Listen, come to the show, man. All right. It's my son ain't gonna have no good birthday. All right. Do you want that on your spirit? Put that on your conscience. How about that? You gonna fuck up my son's birthday? He turning two. Our theme is too fast, too furious. I'm gonna give a fuck about y'all. It's about this kid. No. May 25th through the 28th. Atlanta Comedy Theater. Underground. Atlanta, Georgia. I see you there. Let's go. Good day since. Candle Company. They are black-owned and have lots of different scents to choose from. Use my code, L-O-U-S. That's low. You get 25% off your entire order or offer. Let me see. Oh, yeah. We got scents like Vanilla, Pineapple Sage, which is my favorite. Egyptian Amber. All types of freaking shit like black love. You gotta go on there and check them out. Can you see these candles? Just know that I'm having a good day. You know, these candles have been approved by everybody that we ever presented them to from Snoop and even Beyonce posted these on the website. This one right here, I think. So go hit the website and grab you some of these candles. That movie was the shit. I got this talk show I had on BET. This was before Steve or anybody, anybody black people got stuck. This was the first late night talk show. And so it was built for Sector 3 Entertainer. And then Cedric walked away like six or seven days before he just left the project. And Bob Johnson, who owned BET, was my friend at the time and gave me that opportunity. So a lot of people remember we were saying, who in the hell left the gate open? And when I got on that show, man, first thing I was trying to do, like I'm trying to do now is get all the biggest stars I can on my podcast. Michael talks to everybody. Everybody, okay? T-R-R-P-O-D-Y. Spell it right. And I mean, so far we've already had Earthquake and T.I. and T.S. Madison was wonderful. I said, T.S., why didn't T.S. in your name? And she said some people don't transsexual. I said, but why isn't it in your name? She said, so if I meet somebody, they know that right away. That way I'm gonna get back to the house and the ding-a-ling don't even pop out and somebody's in trouble. So we said up front, and I didn't know that. That's the scariest shit I have ever heard. T.S. Madison, I know. I thought it was in the nuisance. She said, but also because... She said I had a second answer. She said I'm also because I'm very spiritual. And me and my mother are spiritual. And I think my body parts will be given to me by God. And I wouldn't want to disrespect God like that. And then she said... Because I asked the way, but I still got the dick. And she said... No, I said riddle me this. Because she told me before the interview, she said I don't have anything. That's why I said, well, why you got the dick? And she said my mother and I were spiritual. And I don't want to remove that body part. It would offend the Lord. And then she said, I don't like getting my dick sucked. Do you like getting your dick sucked, my car? I was like, yeah, but not right now. But I'm just saying she came on the show and was open and funny and awesome. And then earthquake came and killed it. Then T.I. came and we joked about him getting booed. But that wasn't a real booing. J.B. Smoove had the greatest booing. T.I. came back and he came back and represented on here. T.I. came back and represented. J.B. Smoove was awesome and he always makes it happen. But he came to Atlanta and got booed so bad, you hear the boo in the plane. I was flying over here. Boo! Boo, boo, boo, boo! I love both of these cats. But anyway, so Hill Harper might have the biggest brains I've ever talked to. I don't know how to get his brain, that biggest brain, the little head. We had Hill Harper on the show. And then our show is about topics. So we did, is church still relevant? But when I did it at first, it was me and three of my heathen friends. So it was funny. I don't think we got to the quick of it. So we came back and brought Yolanda Adams and Bishop Vance Oates. Y'all know Vance Oates? I don't know Vance Oates. He'd always roller skating. You see him in his wife roller skating? Yes, I do know him. On the internet. On TikTok and the pasta. He stayed this year. I know you don't make a difference. Steve Harvey's show, but he did my morning show seven times first. That's another story. Anyway, he came on. And so they could talk, really talk religion. You know, then we did the nigger show. You know, N-I-G-G-A, naturally invoking God's greatest attribute. I have a nigger shirt that'll tell you on the back all the countries in Africa that the word nigger came from and what it meant. Nigger originally meant God and king. And emperor. N-G-R or N-I-G-E-R, which was the Niger River. Or several variant forms. So this shirt lists all the places. You mean like Nagus? Like King Nagus and stuff like that? N-E-G-G-A. And they all meant king. So white folks took our greatest word and used it as a stick to give us something to fight about. That's what I'd still be using. That you'd better be using. Fuck him. Fuck him. I love him. I heard him. I couldn't find the word better than saying it in nigger. Nigger's better. I can say nigger a thousand different ways. And you know exactly what the fuck I mean. You my nigger. Nigger what? Nigger. Nigger. You know, I mean, it's such a wonderful word but that means we suck the power out of it. No, no, no. I will say this Mike. Now what I heard about the nigger, the N-G connotation. What are you hearing this shit for? I read it in some books. Well how the fuck did you hear it if you read it? I don't believe that. Hold on, man. You're not like I was talking about reading it. I read it in that dog home. I like to open this house. Don't worry about that. Now he got some books too though. You don't look like. You said he got books? He don't look like. You read some shit. Did you read it or did you hear it? I think you heard it. I was going to tell you. I read that. Now hold on. Now wait a minute. We're going to make this look crazy now. We're talking about something. What voice do you read in? I read in the voice of my damn head. So you basically saying you told yourself this shit. Well you didn't act like I got different voices now. You didn't act like that. Have you ever argued with yourself? I don't want to say it all the time. As long as you don't strike me, it should be okay. Man y'all trippin'. Y'all feel like y'all judge me right now. That's my problem. But I do get community service points there. You want to talk about marriage? Y'all don't want to hear it man. Y'all don't want to hear it. I'm making him sign off on that sheet when he leaves. We down here man. Shout out to the rest of the piece of Martin Luther King man. The day to day man he got killed man. Damn sure. Damn sure. Don't let me forget. Don't let me forget. We got to shout out Martin Luther King. I said I ain't going to let you forget that. Martin Luther King. I met Martin Luther King. I don't know if y'all know this or not. But I usually don't tell this story. You ain't about to just get on here and laugh. You know where to fuck you. Go ahead. You are even born. No listen listen. Martin Luther King came down to Tuscaloosa like 1963. Something called. And you was born in. No I was born after this. I was just telling you about Martin Luther King and the significance of the day. Please tell us. You see. You feel for it. You feel for it. If you see John Lewis. No no listen. If you see Bloody Tuesday. You know what I'm saying. Bloody Sunday. It's Bloody Sunday. Bloody Sunday. Something is waiting till Tuesday. No no no. Get around with it. No no no. Bloody Sunday happened in Selma. But the reason for Bloody Sunday was Bloody Tuesday. Which happened a year before that in Tuscaloosa. The first African church. That is true. Martin Luther King came down there too. You feel me. They tried to beat up everybody in the church. My whole family was involved in that right there. You feel me. So. All this shit was about because of walking. I keep telling you. Put that fucking walking. You live longer. You have to try to. And. Try to tell him that. You can't tell us not to have black. You can't tell us to drink from the black water fountains. You know what I'm saying? I don't think the North dealt with that. That's a southern, you feel me. Which basically is a confederate thing. Definitely. You feel me. For the black water fountain. I don't know who you are. It's shit. It's shit. You said it makes sense. Even in Chicago. You got to think. You got to think. Nobody has Chicago. You think they could've told somebody? Martin heard about that. Because Martin heard about it. He knows about it. He's know about it. My cousin used to be Martin Luther King driver. He was his personal driver for about seven years. Leroy. Leroy. No, the guy named Clarence Boseman. He got a wife named Maggie Boseman. She was the first woman charged with voter fraud in the United States. Her and the woman named Julia Wilde. And her husband drove her to it? No, her husband just used to drive Martin Luther King around. Oh, okay. No civil rights movement. We in 29 in Alabama. He's just my... He's always getting on his head trying to make Alabama look like a good place. Don't nobody wanna go to Alabama. Go to Alabama. The blood of two. Exactly why. I ain't trying to go to a place called Blood Anyway. Exactly. Somebody told me a bloody marriage. I punched them in the throat. I was like, don't come over here cussing. Mississippi put me in charge of public relations. I'm changing the perception of Mississippi. How can you do that? Shit, I get over here every fucking time and be a cold-ass nigga. I show the world that it's magnificent motherfuckers down there in that country. It was magnificent. It was magnificent. It is. I'm from Oxford, Mississippi where a dime costs a dollar. What college is that? It's a college down there. It's a college down there. Old Miss. It ain't northwest. Oh, that shit's so far south that it pumps sunlight to that motherfucker. You're the motherfuckers. Hey, everybody doing the same kind of bad. Yeah. Mississippi got a different color of highway too. What color of highway is that? Yeah, well, you know, they got brown highways out there. The white folks don't call us niggas because they know our name. Well, you can have that. You can have Mississippi. I need to stay north. I need to stay north. Although my woman from the south. Hold up. Wait a minute. I like to talk about the South for the South, though. Well, y'all for a man just great, either. Ain't nobody from Chicago. Them's the same motherfuckers. They all came from Mississippi. See? Yeah, everybody from Chicago from the South. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chicago ain't here right there. We're in Chicago for life, so far. You ain't doing that good up there now. I've been to Chicago a lot. I think I've done a show. We should do a drive. What they got up there in Chicago? No, fuck, we should. We should drive back to Chicago. Oh, and look. Let me tell you what happened. I got to tell you what happened when I went to Chicago. No, I don't want to know. You want to tell them? I'm mad at you for the Martin Luther King shit. What you talking about? Actually, I wish I came with me with his mic. You see what I'm talking about? You see how they do me? You see that mic? I don't got to tell the truth. They're going to go out live. They're going to edit that part out anyway. This is true. No, we don't want people to hear the type of shit that he holds us. That's the truth. Oh, man. He got to be held accountable. My story has seen a while, but they all go to the jig, man. See what I'm talking about, Mike? Mike, I'm the first one to smell bullshit. Bullshit ain't nothing to chew, though. Man. Watch it. Look how he looking at you. What the fuck is that? God damn it. Don't do no shit. Then what the fuck is up over there? Look, we did this show called The Miss Pat Show. I know a big sound. Just like that. Really? Boy, you must have hit it right. That's how she- Run home! Oh, you don't have to be funny. You don't have to be funny enough to make that sound. That's how she sound after you tell her you're not giving her $40. Chicken, chicken. Now, you did The Miss Pat Show recently? Oh, yeah, Miss Pat Show. I got the Christmas edition coming up. We shot it already. Debbie Allen directed it. Debbie Allen? From fame? Oh, yeah. And she only directed two of them. This is the third season. Damn it. You never went to the new shit. I was going to ask you about your character on Martin, too. I'll come back to that shit. No, Miss Pat. She doesn't have to get to play Santa Claus or get fired. And I can't tell you the whole story because it's really, really good. But to be able to work with Miss Pat, she's hilarious. She is fucking crazy. We got the same birthday. Really? So, have the lady birthday to Miss Pat. What day is that? The second, April 2nd. Oh, the birthday. You just went past? Yes. I'm calling on the way. She never picked the phone up, but I'm calling. Me, Miss Pat, Marvin Gaye got the same birthday. Get the hell out of here. Marvin Gaye. That's why Marvin Gaye on the wall. I remember the day Marvin Gaye died. Man, my daddy was into how I was going crazy. Like, man, they got me. Miss Pat had text me, had a birthday. I said, I hear it back. I said, have a birthday, Miss Pat. I love you. She called me and said, what the fuck you mean you love me? I was like, Miss Pat, not like, I'm in. I know you married and shit. I'm just saying like, I love you. We got the same birthday. You know what I'm saying? I fuck with you like that. And she was like, but what the fuck you say that for a wife? Like, you love me? Like, why I didn't even say that? Like, are you trying to say something to me? Man, I ain't even mean it like that. You know what? She's trying to fight you. Exactly. I ain't know that the trauma ran that deep. I made a mistake. I walked in and sat with my chicken. You took the chicken there? Where you go? No, chicken takes me. Oh. And when I got there, I walked in. And just like this. That's her. Read the table read. And I asked the lady to squeeze the chicken. She said, don't bring that motherfucker chicken on this set. Well, it's her set. I moved her. I forgot to put it on my seat. So I get through doing my line. I leaned on the chicken. I leaned up and did that. And she screamed from wherever I told you, don't bring that motherfucking chicken on my set. So I did this. Everybody in the room fell in the floor laughing. Man. They watched. And she hollering. This on set. On set. Table read. It wasn't but nothing but nothing. There was a couple of chicken rules. Mike, you're a crazy man. Mike, you're a wild boar. Yeah, you the fucking wild man. You know what I'm saying. His chicken is powerful, man. It changes people. Folks who don't even laugh. They hit his chicken. First they disturbed. When did this shit start happening? About a year and a half ago. My ex gave me this chicken. Which is probably why she's my ex. Man, I ain't break shit. And I'm glad y'all rich cause if I did, it would call it. Yeah, we'll get some more shit. Get the fuck out of here. Get some more shit. Get some more shit. Get some more shit. My nephew. Come on. Yeah, we big. Get some more than two. Okay, so bag it up to Mark. They ain't know he was on there. 14 years ago. Nope. Yes. Oh, those candles off the channel. You know what? He can't let me smell them. I'm not even gonna light them. I'm gonna give you these motherfuckers. I'm not even gonna light them. See, I told y'all free shit. Thank you. Y'all gonna put them right in that bag. Free shit's so good. I paid for it one time. Man, all men, no bacon. Shit. They gonna bring the bag. I'm gonna put the chicken in here, too. Looks like I've been shopping. I'm gonna light this one. Yeah, this one. Fuck, all right. That's a different guy, don't worry. No, that's the same. We got all our... These are our candles, man. Eight to five. Yeah, everything that we fuck with is ours, man. We got our own grandest. We got our own rolling tray. This is a nice looking grandest silver. Yeah, exactly. You want that? No, I can't take no grander. But that's nice. All right. What the fuck? I just wanted you to have some shit. I love it, man. You give me enough of breathing in here, man. You know I love you. Right. You know, I mean you've always been one of the greats. Really. Ever since I met you. Out of the young cats, you sizzle shit, man. Long before you became part of this trio. It was just you. You know I've called you meantime. Say, man, let's do this. Let's do that. Cause you're funny, but fuck. And it's natural. It comes from your spirit. It's just good shit, man. I found the right people in this group. No, you found the right people. That's what makes the difference. Yes. Fine. I'm okay. That's how I keep talking about my woman. Sonya. Powers. Soon to be cow. You're... Because my whole life changed when I met her. When everything in my life is aligned now. Really? I'm sitting smack dab in the middle of my dream, brother. I'm doing everything I ever wanted to do. And I'm so much in love with a woman I no longer objectify women. And I've objectified women my whole life until I met her. You know, look at that ass. Nice titties. I wonder if she swallows. But now... That's objectified? When you treat them like an object. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What kind of object? Well, hopefully a sexy one if it makes you react. And I don't do that anymore. I wouldn't care if... What would you do now? I don't know my thing about Sonya. That's all I can think about is Sonya. Look, if you were the type of woman... Hold up. If you were the type of woman who's about Sonya. That's gonna make me know other women. Stay the fuck away from around me. I swear I can't even think about it. I don't want no parts of that shit. She the bomb dude. Kim. Number one soul food restaurant in Western Salem, North Carolina, called Simply Soul. We love it. She has a second restaurant called Simply Soul, and she just acquired the building for our third property. You hear me say our third property. I'm a restaurateur now. Anyway... Hold on. Mike, that is a booth. And I'm up here trying to get a mother to go have on a beef patty. Go ahead. Do your thing, Mike. I apologize to my mother when I say this, but Sonya makes a better salmon croquette than my mama. And my mama has held that title for 64 years, young man. She can cook her ass. But in fact, let's get back to nigga for a minute. I don't really do chicken wings. That's too nigga for me. Okay, I'm a black man. Don't give me room. As-salamu alaykum wa'atu wa'atu wa'atu. Mother fucking bomb. Okay. Black man. But I'm fucking my chicken wings. Because every place I go, that's all my friends are. We can be your fucking friends. We can chicken wings. No, nigga. We're out of chicken wings. But she has made this sauce called the Sonya sauce. I'm eating wings again. That's all I can say is I'm eating wings. She's fine as frogs have. You ever seen frog hair? No. You can't see it. It's too fine. Talk to me, somebody. And she has changed my life. Her just being in my life has aligned everything else. It's amazing, man. It's amazing. I can't- I talk about it every day. I tell strangers in the street, they say, well, you're telling me, I say shit, I'm telling everybody. Shit bad, my fuck. If I wasn't me, I would have been her. Oh, shit bad, my fuck. I wouldn't wear the dress, but I'm just saying it. Okay. I heard you. I heard you. You want to get quiet? Oh, shit. No, no. That's terrifying. You be somebody so grateful to be here. That shit sounds great for you. I don't know shit like that existed. He said that shit is terrifying. I'm scared as a motherfucker. I run up on this. Oh, my God. It's as long as you love this right here. All the women should love this right here. You know what I mean? Can you imagine you meet a woman and you be like, hey, bro, don't you ever talk to them hoes like that? It's because you was watching this show thinking, oh, they didn't finally put the shit back on YouTube. No. They was listening. We weren't. We weren't. It's on the app. It's on the app. The rest of the audience was on the app. No, it's not. It's not on Apple TV. It's just available directly where they sell apps. Oh, they don't sell apps on Apple TV? Where y'all should fuck with us too, Apple TV? It is on the app. Don't say fuck nobody. No, I didn't say fuck nobody. I said put it. I thought we fucked with it. Oh, we do. I have full of Roku's. Roku's the most everywhere. Yeah. So subscribe to the app. It's only $8.99 a month or $85 a year. So you get a whole year for $85. Did you know that? It's $8.50 and then you got to pay taxes. Yeah. So, you know, it's $8. You know, we get them all type of content. You know what? We're not even going to tell them who you got your glasses from until they get it on Apple. I mean, hey, you got to watch this. The app. The app is available. All of these people that say we should keep putting this on YouTube for free. What about the years of freedom that we've already provided upon you? We gave this away for free for years. Let's move together. $85 a year. Why would you let somebody come invest in the show and put it on another network and you're buying their subscription? You don't ask them why you're buying their shit. So don't ask us. We're putting it on the app. We saw what you said in the comments. We saw it. We saw it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. So you know what? We're folding under this pressure. We hear you. We hear you. We win indeed. We'll just get the fuck on that y'all way. Just for an hour though. That's all you get is an hour. So don't you can't complain. We're the rest of it. I think they should get 37 minutes. I don't see. We gotta hurry up. We should just put a whole bunch of ads in between. Like long way in there. Like five minute ads. Hey, how you doing? How you doing? Slow motion ads. Slowest doing now. Waste a motherfucking time. Yeah. Let's just go ahead and make sure. Channel 85.com. I want to make sure I read what they wrote. They wrote some shit out for us. These niggas don't know how to spell or type proper sentences, but they trying to get us to get y'all to buy the app. What you think we want to read this shit? Channel 85, man. So we can talk that shit, man. Ladies, don't you like this? That's right. On the app, uncensored, unfiltered and edited. Can you believe that? I'm talking about with actual production in it. Jump cuts, clips, all types of type of like exclusive shit that they don't even know that we do. They don't even know that we got a show where we'd be cooking like, exotic foods and shit. Okay. That's on the app. We got sports shows. Yep. Drama shows, documentaries. Chico got a head right in class that he teach. We're in production. Nobody passed it, because that's why the shit look like this. But we're working on it, and you can see it on the app. They didn't even tell them about the tax course that we had uploaded on there. Okay. They don't even know that we got a whole show about Wall Street. And the $5,000 on the app. Right. And we got the alternate ending to the color purple up there. Oh, man. We got the raw edition. All the uncut, all the bloopers. We got all that. Right. It's on the app. So if you want to see some shit that you know they trying to have from them, go to the app. I'm leaving though. Channel 85.com. Go get the app. You got an hour for free. We gave you what you wanted. Now give us some subscriptions to the app. 50. 899 with tax. $85 a year. Channel 85.com. 85 South Shore. Get the app. Well, see, this is what they don't know. The app, really $3, but adjusted for inflation. It's $8. Yeah. With low C. Get the app, man. Stop bullshitting. We out of here, man. We're not about to keep working all this time for... We on your way to fly? Oh, yeah.