 Changes in habits, overthinking, loss of concentration, worry, pacing, being jumpy are all signs of anxiety. Respected viewers, brothers and sisters in Islam, Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Welcome to another episode of Real Talk with the Muslim Councilor. I'm your host, Rana Hamid. Assalamu alaikum sister, how are you? Hamdallah, how are you? I'm good. I want to start off because today's episode we're going to talk about anxiety. So I want to start off and say what is anxiety? So anxiety is somewhat of the opposite of depression in the sense that you're overthinking, you're constantly worried, and just your mind is pacing, it cannot slow down, it could happen at bedtime, it could happen before an exam or a test, or it could be just some kind of situation that will prevent you from just being yourself and prevents you from reaching your full potential. And so physically you're shaking, your heart is racing, again the thoughts are just racing and breathing can also be a factor as well where you're breathing from your chest area rather than from your stomach. This can also trigger what we call anxiety attacks or panic attacks and that's pretty common when you're dealing with anxiety. So basically it's constant overthinking and you're worried about things that will prevent you from actually doing the act that you need to perform. Now you say depression is or anxiety is opposite of depression. Can you have anxiety and depression at the same time? Absolutely. You know when I'm just describing them in terms of opposites they are also concurrent, meaning somebody could have both of these illnesses and struggles. The opposite in the sense that with depression you're low energy, you're lethargic, oversleeping things like that, whereas with anxiety the opposite is a lot of energy and you're anxious and you just go, go, go, go kind of thing. So that's what I mean by the opposite. How can you have both? Well you could be thinking about something that you're worried about where it will prevent you from actually going to do it. When you don't do it then you could feel sad and then you know that could then trigger you to feeling isolated and alone and not engaging in the community and society or whatever it is that you need to engage yourself in which can then eventually lead to depression. So you could definitely have both of them and having a concurrent illness is just like somebody who could have both you know diabetic issues as well as cardiovascular diseases at the same time. You just have to learn how to manage them differently. Okay. Most people tie fear with anxiety but how can one distinguish fear from the anxiety? Sometimes you can't distinguish between the two because they go hand in hand. They work with the same schema of things but let's try to break it down anyways. So fear is being scared of something, being scared of that, those emotions of feeling scared will prevent you from actually doing it. I would say being worried are the thoughts related so in response to the act that is preventing you. So something that is causing you that fear and feeling scared. So worry again are the thoughts in response to that. It's hard to distinguish and sometimes you know they go hand in hand but sometimes you have these worries about things that's causing you fear. So somebody who's afraid of heights, somebody who has exam anxiety, somebody who's afraid of somebody. You're constantly going to be worrying about these things, right? So fear will actually stop you from going ahead and doing something because you are feeling scared. Sometimes people are afraid of the dark, right? You could be afraid of the dark. What happens when you're afraid of the dark? Then you have these thoughts, constant worry about monsters or gins or you know a thief or somebody who's going to attack you. These are your thoughts of worry in response to an object or an act or something of fear. So that's how I would relate the two. So we can tie fear with anxiety. Absolutely. You could be afraid of failing a test or an exam, right? So as a student do you not have that thought all the time? All the time. Right, but then what are the reoccurring thoughts that you have? I usually think positive. That's great. That's the way of combating. We'll talk about how to work with that. But the worrisome thoughts, the overthinking that you have, oh, what am I going to do? Did I study enough? Did I understand all the material? Am I going to pass this? What are these things? These are worries that are causing you to feel anxious from the fear. What is the fear? The failing the exam. So that's how they're all connected like that. Okay. Can we tie threat with anxiety? Threat is going to cause you to take action or not take action. So the fight response. And this is a good thing when something that causes you that worry or that fear or a threat. So let's say you know a mama bear, and we have that expression mama bear, you know, baby cub. You know, when a cat, a mother cat sees somebody ready to attack or bear or whomever. You know, we can describe that to humans as well. You know, when somebody comes and causes you some kind of threat, your instinct is either to have that flight response or fight back. Right? So a mama bear, somebody comes and tries to attack her baby. What is she going to do? She's going to fight back. She's going to fight back. Right? That threat is going to cause, the threats has the fear of her wanting to respond. Right? So she's going to respond. Why is she responding? She's worried that her child is in danger. So that's how these are all connected. Threat, fear, being scared, worry. Sometimes it's a good thing. When you are in danger, you want to have that response. What will prevent you is what your worries and your anxiety. So they all go hand in hand. Now when we talk about people dealing with anxiety, it can be very debilitating. It can be very debilitating. You may not perform at your best. These constant worries just make you feel jittery and nervous. And that's another term to use when we're talking about anxiety. Just nervous and worried all the time. It was swast as we say in Arabic, right? And so it's interesting to see how some clients, you know, with high anxiety, it's hard for them to interact and go into society, social anxiety. They're worried about what people think about them, judgment. Or let's say, you know, between men and women, men are worried about what these women think about them. And again, especially when it comes to, you know, getting married and things like that, we always have these worried about what is the opposite gender thinking about us or parents or friends or... So things like that, you know, that can prevent people from engaging in society. And I see a lot of people with social anxiety. And they tend to be alone and lonely. And what is this lead to? Depression, potentially. So they're all linked that way. Most commonly I'll see people who are worried about, you know, the future. Respected viewers, please stay tuned after this break. Back-respected viewers, as we finish our discussion with anxiety. Now, before we went on break, you were talking about the future. Now the future is something everyone is afraid of. So I want to ask, what about the future that makes people so scared? The uncontrollable. They don't know what's going to happen next, right? So because of that, they worry, worry, worry. And this is a common thing I see with my clients all of the time when we deal with anxiety, panic attacks, control, all of these things. Because it's not in their control, they worry. And they, you know, the constant racing of thoughts, what's going to happen if I fail? What's going to happen if I don't graduate? What's going to happen in the future? What kind of job am I going to get? Who am I going to marry? Kids, house, responsibilities, bills, life, life, life, life. It just gets them really anxious and worried. So when we talk about control and the future and worry, I sit back and say, hey, you don't have control over the future. Relax. Leave it up to him. Put it in his hand. Do your best. Let him worry for you. People of faith understand that concept. And then they work with that. So if you can work with that idea of letting go of control and just accepting that the universe, God, or whatever you follow in your thoughts in terms of the divine and control outside of yourself, let that go as long as you are trying your best. As long as you're doing your best, let it be. Well, what if you can't? I mean, some people don't have that spiritual mentality, you know? You just said something very important. The word can't. This is a therapeutic concept that we use when dealing with anxiety and other illnesses that deal with just so much high emotion. I get rid of that. I get rid of that completely. I'll give you an example. I was in Ziyara recently. Alhamdulillah for the last four years. And one of the brothers had an issue with his legs and his back and he couldn't feel. And so they took him to the hospital and all of that. And in the end, the doctors told him it was something mentally in his mind. And so I told him, I'm a psychotherapist. Why don't you use me to help the brother out? Of course. I mean, he has you. He has me on the team kind of thing. So Alhamdulillah, I got a chance to sit with him and chat with him. And he couldn't move. He just felt that he couldn't move his feet, his body, anything. Always the words can't were used by him. And I said, brother, we're not using that word again. We are not using the word can't. As soon as you say can't, you implant it in your head, in your brain and then it triggers everything else in your body to stop. Within 20 minutes, I kid you not, within 20 minutes, subhanAllah, working with the word, eliminating the word can't, using the word I can, but I choose not to. He was able to wiggle his toes, which he could not do before. He was able to move his leg, sit, sit with his legs up to the point when the other brothers and sisters came into the room and saw that they were in shock. I wouldn't call it a miracle. Alhamdulillah. But this is the power of the mind over the body. And we made a joke out of that. Now our Hamla is called mind over body. This is the idea when we talk about control, when we talk about anxiety, when we talk about mind over body, when we talk about anxiety and triggering anxiety or panic attacks, rather. So it was interesting to really see the power of that take effect when you were able to take the word can't out of the vocabulary, out of the formula and put in I can, but I choose not to. Now when you bring up the word can't, I always think of the little train who could. Exactly. There's a lot of psychology involved in that. It truly is about mind over body and what you can do. I mean, like I said, I believe in that. And the brother, he saw it by himself, he couldn't believe it himself and neither could his sister or the rest of the Hamla. And have we continued then, I'm sure it would have gone on, but we were taking it easy because there were some nerve issues and back when we didn't want more damage. But the fact that he was still able to walk and get up by himself considering that he thought he was not going to walk again. Mind over body. Very powerful. And this is where control comes in. Acceptance that you do not have control over these circumstances around you, but you have control over how you choose to respond and taking the power back, the locus of control back to you in terms of what you can do, gives you the ability to do and get rid of these anxieties and these worries. This is part of treatment as well. Another factor that's tied with anxiety is OCD. Obsessive compulsive disorder. This will lead a whole episode on itself. However, it is tied in with the constant worries that we have in our minds. It's always interesting with Muslim clients, I find, with Muslims in general, the concept of OCD is connected to Najasa and Tahara. Have I climbed myself properly before Salah? Or have I locked the door? Or people worry about, they lock the door, they turn off the stove, fires and all that, but I really find it interesting with Muslims when it comes to Tahara, Najasa, Puriti and all of that. Did I do my work properly for Salah? Is my Salah going to be accepted? Oh my God, I have to do it again, so on and so forth. So you see how the thoughts just have been actually kept bigger and bigger. So it is related to worries and thoughts, and it can, of course, trigger an anxiety attack when you take it out of control. Insha'Allah, we'll explore this further on. Insha'Allah. Now, how can we treat, or not treat, but what are the treatments that we can go to get rid of or treat anxiety? Well, as in any illness, as we said earlier on, you may not necessarily get rid of these and accept that they're going to be part of your life. It's how you choose to manage, how are you going to manage and take control of the situation. So with anxiety, when, again, just like depression, you go see a doctor, get a referral, see a specialist and work through therapy as well as with medication. Because medication, what it does, it reduces the intensity of the symptoms. So the heart racing, it makes you more relaxed. Some people will joke around and say, I feel very drugged up. Well, no. Then you're probably taking the wrong medication for it. But then medication like Adavan and whatnot can get rid of the edge, the intensity of feeling anxious so that working on natural healing abilities will kick in, will work. So like I said, breathing techniques, rather eating well, sleeping well, exercise your basics, but then more onto it, breathing techniques. So breathing in through your nose, holding your breath and then exhaling out through your mouth, meditation, tension and relaxation techniques. These are powerful. And I like to include all four of them in one. So breathing, body muscle relaxation response, meditation as well as visualization. If anybody who has attended my workshops will attest to this. By the time we're done doing this exercise, they are so incredibly relaxed. And this is something you can learn within minutes and you can apply it within minutes, any time of day. So we don't have time to do it right now and show our future episodes. But it's just the concept of using mind to alleviate some of the physical symptoms of the body that can help reduce the anxiety. And of course what I did with this gentleman, with this brother working, just having a chat, talking about different things and reducing the intensity and the focus on the problem, which was, I can't move my legs. I can't. Yeah, changing the way I can. Yeah, so using linguistic patterns of words can really change the mind over the body. With that I want to read this incredible quote by Imam Ali Aleyhi Salam, which also has to do with the mind over the body and just the power that we all have and don't realize that we have within ourselves. So like we were saying, your basic eating well, sleeping well exercise, spirituality of course, but then incorporating strategies within therapy and outside of therapy in terms of breaking down the anxieties, things that you're worried about to kind of understand the control that you do have over things. Doing your absolute best, leaving the rest up to him. Let him worry about it, you know? And so with this quote, Imam Ali Aleyhi Salam says, your sickness is from you, but you do not perceive it and your remedy is within, but you do not sense it. You presume you are a small entity, but within you is unfolded the entire universe. You are indeed the evident book by whose alphabet the hidden becomes manifest. Therefore you have no need to look beyond yourself. What you seek is within you if only you reflect. And this is the concept right there of reflection when we talk about the challenge. And in therapy, when we deal with therapy for anxiety, it's the cognitive behavioral therapy which is best suited for that. And Imam Ali Aleyhi Salam describes cognitive behavioral therapy right there in terms of using reflection within yourself, the mind over the body, using cognitive strategies of changing thought patterns to elicit change in behavior. And Subhanallah, and this Arbaiania, recently we experienced that with this man who felt that he could not move his legs within 20 minutes. Not only was he wiggling his toes, he was moving his whole legs because he reflected and he worked with the mind and the body. Subhanallah. Indeed, Subhanallah. It's mind-blowing. I didn't really expect that something such as you can't move and then changing to can, can make you start wiggling your toes or start walking again. Well, it's the same like when we talked about depression where Imam Ali Aleyhi Salam says smile even if your heart is bleeding, right? It's again using the mind to elicit a behavior. And again the concept of smiling, fake it till you make it, right? With that, you can elicit change within yourself if you truly put your mind to it. Instead of blowing things out of proportion with your thought, you bring it down, funnel it down. And like I said, especially if you come from a spiritual and Islamic point of view, do your absolute best. Do your absolute best. Put the positive energy and move forward. Let him worry about it. Subhanallah. Thank you so much. I mean, just discussing these topics, gives us a lot of information, opens our minds to a lot of things. So thank you so much for discussing on these topics. My pleasure. Respected viewers, brothers and sisters, we have come to the end of this episode. Keep a lookout for more episodes. Take a look below.