 Welcome back to another vlog today is Thursday. It's about 4 p.m. I have been working all day I'm actually about to head off to some events I'm going to a Baccarat event which I'm really excited for their perfume is insane Audrey Peters had it on when we were in the studio in New York and I fell in love so I'm excited for that It's at North Park, and then I think we're going to like an electric Shuffle board thing. It's an electric shuffle board thing. That's it. This is my outfit I'll show you a better view in a second. I was gonna vlog all week into a vlog week But then I got sick I had a cold it was really awful And I just want to say that dayquil is quite literally witchcraft because that saved me if you guys in here subscribe With the remedy house, so I from merch launch today, and you guys oh my god. Thank you so much I have never sold that many items of anything like oh my gosh if it's still available I'll have it linked down below. Yeah, um, oh I still have my sweet little angel. She's about to go to her aunt's house You guys are unaware this is my bro. Stop. This is my brother's new dog. She's so cute like literally perfect She's been staying with me My brother gets home next week, and then we will surprise him with his new pup But I mean she's absolutely perfect like look at her. I die over her every day Have you guys ever seen anything so sweet? No, never. Oh my gosh Hi cutie. Oh Oh Hi, oh you love me fits loves her too. All right. I just realized I forgot to show you guys my outfit in the mirror But I have this coat on from anthropology. It came in my newly subscription. This top that I have on is so Perfect for the fall and winter time the top that I have on is perfect for the fall and winter time It's sleeveless. It's really cute. It like ties on the side. It's actually for my friend's clothing store So if you guys want to support small it's disruptive soul doing after the day in the car is definitely not ideal Okay, these boots. They're so cool. They're Jeffrey Campbell And they came in the mail link them below, but I'm gonna live in them They also are keeled and they're actually really comfortable so far I'm wearing them out tonight to see if I can make it out on like a whole night out in them Does anyone else do that you have like a tester night with shoes? Anyways, I'm gonna pick up my friend and then we're gonna head off Morning guys, it's Friday morning. I didn't vlog much last night, but we went to a few events. It's my sister And I'm back. We had our first like freeze last night. It's really cold out. I actually turn this off I'm about to head off to get a blowout. I got a blowout last Friday. It had an amazing weekend So I thought there's a correlation every weekend that I have was amazing though So I don't really count the pups have their Christmas. Well, he actually his band have been a fell off 50 Coco Coco's not doing well This weekend is gonna be fun. I'm about to head off to get a blowout I'm gonna work there and then I'm getting a brunch with Michelle at Chelsea corner or Chelsea's corner I need coffee. I just am not awake yet, but this sweater is princess Polly. I'm wearing like a set sporty suit I got it in a size medium and it's too big I normally wear a size medium and set so if you get a sporty suit size down wearing my gawney rain boots I have my coat on and I'm going to get a blowout. I just cannot wait like this just needs Something just when I'm bringing with me in my purse my Kindle my laptop always I'm currently listening to this podcast episode. It is so good I don't know what is up with my phone right now, but we have another episode with Jess up the episode I did with her how to survive your 20. It's just advice for your 20s over the summer It's one of like our most loved episodes So I brought her on for a part two how to survive your 20s part two with just a hasty It is so good talking about like belief systems changing your mind Relationships dating like I bring you need to listen. It's so good. All right. I just picked up my Starbucks for today I'm bringing back my all-time favorite order. You can get this year round, but it's like my Christmas order It's a venti vanilla sweet cream cold brew, but some of the vanilla for peppermint. It is so good All right, I'm leaving now I just got so much like random work done Here's my blowout. I still prefer dry bar like obviously I went to BAM I still prefer dry bar, but they were booked today. So I went there. It just feels so good. I'm gonna meet Michelle at Brunch I also like made a list of like all these things I need to do before next week And I realized how busy I am and how much I Needed to get down this week, but I did it because I was sick. So feeling good Guys we're at lunch look who it is I'm home. I have quite the haul. I have a big haul later as well, but I got this dress from Bershka I think I'm gonna wear this in New York to loot combs. I know it's gonna be so cold, but it's fine Also got this big black oversized Blazer that I feel like I'm just gonna get so much use out of anyways. I also got these boots I've been so into healed knee-high boots as you guys from probably tell I just needed them on like every color They're from nasty. I'll link them below. I mean they're just so good More like what IV stuff and then I actually got a bouquet of flowers Well flowers from poppy, which is so cute I think I have a coat if you guys wanted to do this thing It's Kenzie 10 and this little box and it basically gives you like a setup to make a bouquet of flowers Which we know I love because I think I'm a florist even though I'm not so things like this are really helpful It's 4 p.m. I have just been editing I got way more done and then I thought when I was sitting getting a block today I just really made a list of like things I need to do and like what they're my calendar for the next few weeks And it is so busy and then I was having a mini late little freak out And I'm feeling good so love that about to go stairs and if I'm a little haul and also style some outfits They need stuff like ready. Don't mind my hand But yeah, you know when like you're just in one of those moves where you get so much done That's how I feel right now, and I'm just feeling really on top of the world Also this blowout isn't like what I really wanted. I don't hate it. Like it's fine But I definitely like miss dry bar still have you to get ready. I have quite the haul to share with you guys We're gonna start off with what I got from Zara This like bodysuit, which is so cute. There's matching pants, and they were not in stock. However, I Have the matching leather jacket So this might be my look for tonight and by my I mean it's going to be my look for tonight Should this be what I wear to Luke Holmes in New York City? Yes But I want to wear the dress so this will be my outfit tonight So I picked up a lot of things from Princess Polly. I got these pants. It's not sponsored I wish it was bought my own money, but I just love their stuff. I'm constantly shopping from them I have this gray blazer lots of blazers so far, but I just love these I live for a good blazer Wear them all the time especially like under like over a sweater or something in the fall It's got this bra lot to wear under like my mesh shirts that I have I got this dress not knowing that it was like I don't know what I thought it was. I didn't realize it was like this crazy It's fun though. Like I like that a lot So I mean I don't know when I'm gonna wear it, but I'm sure I'll find They honestly a girl's holiday party will be really cute, but our girls holiday party is gonna be pajamas Next thing I got this little brown top. I tried it on I didn't end up wearing it, but Really cute very simple easy to wear a day-to-day For some reason I forget that it's still cold after Christmas like it actually just gets colder like for another three months And I pretend that I only have like a month to wear these clothes. I got this skirt. I don't know how I feel about it I mean I Feel like a good weekend That's where I'm landing with it bring my new clothes out here so I can like style them in our outfits We'll see how that works. Okay. Oh, I got this like cream shawl thing to throw over tank tops But I got it a medium, and I should have gotten our small medium I don't know. I think it should be like a little bit smaller. It doesn't it like falls off a little bit too much But I never thought I would get one and here we are, you know, it's how life works got this little blue skirt I'm really into like maxi skirts with boots and like sweaters. I think that's cute I got another like brown. Just like nice blouse. I feel like I never have tops So I thought this would be fun I'm gonna start like dressing up every day because Monday through like Thursday I don't even wear real clothes like I wear sweatpants and teach and like not even like my cute sweat pants But I put zero effort into my look unless I'm filming and I need to start like actually getting ready every day Okay, I got this like mini skirt really cute easy. I don't know when like it's so light I'm gonna wear tights. Where are the best tights guys because I keep ordering them and they're just like not good Another mini skirt. I mean I really I'm really into skirts these days. I don't know where that came from this year I've gotten into them Molly's always worn skirts She was like the skirt queen when we were younger and they always look so cute on her So every time I wear a skirt I think of her. Oh, I have another black skirt This was actually really cute. I wore this out I guess I forgot to take the tag off and I wore it was like a black body so it'll take a dress But it was really cute. I got the same skirt as the blue one in this little brown Again sweater boots. You guys know the drill another top That's just good for everyday wear if you will guys. This is so good. I like putting my clothes away like this I feel like my life like my shopping trips really never ending cycle of basics. I just got like black pants as well I really like the fit of these So I always trust them with like different colors. I really wanted any shopping for a while I say that as I like have so many more orders coming out this week It's ridiculous. And then I got this brown puffer jacket, which again cannot believe I haven't worn yet How fun is this? Like I just love that honestly because I don't think my house unless I'm like going out So I need to like start leaving so I can actually wear cute clothes These boots I mean should we try them on I think we just might I love over the new boots with my cows We're big just kind of hard to get them to fit Like I can't I won't be a little more pants under them like that's the word that sucks Oh, I don't even know if that's the problem. Oh, no, no, no Yeah, that was my problem. It's my fault. Oh, these are so comfortable like the heels not that at all It's really like a thin heel, but they're like I couldn't wear pants But like they are really comfortable Wow, okay. I mean I can definitely wear these to the concert I'm running out of space for my boots in my closet. I know that is like literally the most annoying thing to hear Due to the fact that my closet is an entire room. It's what's happening here, and I'm not proud I'm not proud one bit. I'm gonna try some things on I got my wandering coyote boots I got them widened so I could I wanted to wear them over jeans, but like that's just not happening You guys have any tips like what do you do just need to figure that out because it's actually causing problems in my wardrobe But I'm gonna throw this trash away now that's waiting here for me to film this haul for a week And get some clothes on and then I'll see you guys when I'm getting ready Morning guys Drinking some water. It's 10 30. I'm about to go pick up some friends. We're getting our nails done And this is not the best ever been I'm just wearing this really like cozy outfit To go last night. I honestly totally forgot. I was even blocking this weekend We went to our normal monkey bar on a bar that went out, which is what we do Like pretty much every Friday night. That was that the only thing different was I ordered not my usual order So my liquid IV but we're gonna get our nails done. I'm getting Starbucks I'll probably get some clips and then tonight my friend's having a little housewarming party for game So gotta get ready for that also I kind of want to clean up my house. It's not like messy, but there's just like trash like I don't know. There's three boxes and stuff that need to go so and laundry always always always laundry This is the before of my nails It's not good. I lost my voice So I'm sorry and I'm still filming this clip and that's why I am where I'm at That was all I vlog for the weekend But I did just want to have like a quick catch-up. I made some notes last night I'm just some things that I wasn't thinking also. How do we feel up? He did it's an cake. I was a cake and Kim I Am obsessed anyways I would talk probably longer if I had my voice But I just wanted to say and I know I've touched on this recently and in the episode that just went up with Dom But we just talked about like life a year ago versus life now. I am a very reflective person I'm always looking back on things and just I don't know. I'm just a very reflective sentimental sort of gal and I get like emotional thinking about where I was a year ago to where I am now and I wanted to kind of like go into that a Little bit more because I've definitely made some major life changes And I think that's led it to me just being so so so so much happier this time a year ago I was very antisocial and I do want to say I watched Julian Hunter's video about their like career and stuff And them talking about like how they sacrificed a lot for a long time for them It was like college on like postcard on for me. Honestly like started in high school. Like I was always just really Career focus and as YouTube came into my life I definitely took a major step back with my social life And I think that's where I took the biggest hit with that being said I've always had really really incredible friends But my social life has just never been the top priority I completely stopped going out and then drinking at all for like years. Anyways, I just gave up a lot And like normal experiences and then I ended up going to like a weirder college like whatever so a lot of my focus from 16 to 24 was really like career focus not to say I'm like the biggest channel or anything actually I don't feel like I don't know why not to say I like the biggest channel or anything But I've definitely built a career for myself that I really love that I've done really well And I'm really proud of but I ended up feeling very empty and very Unfulfilled and I feel very fulfilled like career-wise what I'm doing Especially what I'm putting out lately with like preventing housewife stuff the podcast conversations like things like that I just feel like I've never been more like true to me And I just more than that like known more of who I am which we're also gonna get into that But for so long I felt like I just sacrificed my social life for the most part and a lot of my life Like socially before always was like people would come over as I was working and like we'd work together like that was pretty much What I did essentially I did work my ass off for a really long time and I did it sacrifice a lot and I am glad that I did that because it's a lot of life that I have now In the podcast has like grown so much and it's just like obviously like I'm very grateful But I also like want a life like I think Last year when I got to the point where I was just so unhappy and everything was just going wrong I was like I have to make some serious Life changes and invest in different areas of my life that I just haven't been investing in moving to Texas was a very good move for me I think that's no surprise. I not only love it here But it's allowed me to like regain a really healthy perspective and honestly like get to know myself way more I think I really was just so like hustle hustle so busy and like filled my time to the brink like before COVID and Moving to Texas like it's like back to like my roots and what people I grew up with my family and the lifestyle is just different And it's I feel like it's like a lines more with like who I am Not everything and it's just like honestly was like a new chapter for me It was like I felt like I was building a career and like that was the only focus that I had for so long instead of like Building a life and yes, I could have done normal traditional university and all that stuff and whatever but I didn't and so a lot of my time was really spent doing Like work in work and work and then my college and internship was like really really intense Like I can't even tell you how intense that thing was I really I don't regret it But I definitely go back now and I think that I'm like It was a great move. It was like the best and the worst thing never happened to me So so I got to the place where I was just like I don't like where I am I think earlier this year. I was like, I don't even know if I like who I am. I'm really confused I don't even know what I want and I remember feeling like I was just like fall almost like falling apart Like there was nothing like I was I was the opposite of grounded like I was like I feel like I'm like the spilling everywhere I don't know how to describe it and I'd never been more confused with who I was what I wanted what I'm at what in my life to be and I Think it's no secret that I've been a part of look organizations And I think you know when you're just in any sort of group of people and they're you know Telling you their expectations of you and who you want to be or who they want you to be and who you should be and whatever I think that really it kind of really screwed with me I think it really screwed with me and I was really young and impressionable. I was really young I was impressionable I was vulnerable and there's so many things from that time and from those people that I love and will I do think Were great for me, but there was a lot of it where I felt like I lost myself. So yeah I just think this past six months, especially I have Become like so much more myself again and so me and I just feel So good and like so grounded and like at ease with who I am I love like I talk about this all the time like I adore my friends I love the people I spend time with who I'm with all the time like I just love them and the Relationships in my life at the end of the day are what bring me like the most joy and As career focus and as driven as I am which I just am like that. There's I can't even try to not be that way At the end of the day like relationships are always gonna matter more I literally wrote out like 101 manifestations the other day or like prayers like whatever you want to call them of Things that I want and I was like honestly like I'm so happy now Like I feel like even like dreams after the future are like so crazy because I already love life So much now which I'm so grateful for I'm sharing this with you guys I know there's people who watch my videos and I'm sure you feel How I did a year ago and like I just want to say everything is 3,000 times better. I cannot even make stress that enough. I'm just so happy I have like dreamt of a life like this and I'm so grateful so much of it is because of you guys seriously like I Again, I get emotional like every day because I really don't think I've ever been this happy or ever been this fulfilled or ever Been this like content but also excited for the future like even this week I was with my friends and we were all like I'm we're just so happy like I don't know what happened But everyone around me is just so happy. I'm so happy. We have so many things look forward to like I'm just so excited every day I'm just so grateful. Also. I've been getting a lot of questions. I'm I still Christian Yes, so this is one of those things and that I feel like I overshared on and I don't regret it I think it's a really great thing. I just I Like when I say this stuff, I can hear what the people who are Christians will comment and say and Look, I went to Bible college. I've done it. I know it I know all the like answers and the things people are gonna say and this is one of those things where Honestly, I would listen it's my podcast episode with just a Hastings and navigating your 20s part 2 and she talks about it And she talks about what she's about my age kind of like taking a step back and figuring it out for herself I don't feel safe to talk about this online. I don't feel protected I don't feel like comfortable. I don't really have answers right now anything like that Also, the disconnect that has always been there is that I have never been a Southern conservative Christian that has never been me ever. I've said that many times And so I think the idea that we will want that to look like is not gonna ever match up with who I am So if that's why you follow or if that's what you want for me Just know that that is not who I am that is never gonna be who I am can pretty much guarantee that But I would definitely identify as a Christian I'm just not gonna live my life to please Other people and well how they think I should live my life like that in itself is toxic It's not I don't like the word toxic, but it's just not how I'm gonna live my life It's not what I want to do. Yeah, I definitely believe in God. I think I'm just figuring things out for myself It's one of those things that I like over shared on and it's been difficult like trying to navigate that offline When there's people online that are like trying to like hold you accountable and like this stuff That's just like really unhealthy like if you're out of the church road and you hear this stuff You're like these people are crazy and that's why people don't like Christians honestly It's a very large reason my YouTube comments honestly. Yeah, I am the happiest I've ever been I am the most myself I've ever been I am the most at ease the most confident confident most comfortable the most confident the most excited for life I've ever been definitely still like believing God all that stuff I have never once fit this Southern Christian mold. I never will it's never my thing even growing up in Texas Even in Bible college. There was never ever ever a time of my life that I identified as that or would ever want to be that No offense and again, no offense to anyone who is that way? I love those people so many of them are dear friends of mine It's just like you have to be true to yourself. So yeah, I would just appreciate like respect I think in space when it comes to that stuff again I get I've shared about this a lot, but as I've gotten older and like just changed It's one of those things that I have to like navigate offline. It's not really something I feel like sharing So that is not but anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this vlog. I love you guys so much I hope you guys are having the best time ever. Let me know what you guys are. I like how you're feeling What you're up to I want to know more about you guys, but love you guys I'll talk to you soon. Bye. He's like well, I hate the song, but he's like real religious And he was like, but I love you and he's like, I just want what's best for you and all this stuff And I was just for me with my story It's really cool because here you have this song that's you know explicit and all this stuff And it's funny and it is definitely part of my personality like