 Jake Paul and Erica Costell just broke up and in this video we're going to be talking about fake relationships, unrealistic expectations and how they're affecting your mental health. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. So no, I am not a drama channel but what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to help you improve your mental and emotional well-being. And a big part of that is your relationships. So if you're into that kind of stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton, a ton of videos, alright? But yeah, for those of you who don't know what's going on, Jake Paul and Erica Costell broke up and I'm not here to talk about the rumors that this was a fake relationship and all of that but there are some topics that we need to discuss. So we're coming in off the heels of the Mind of Jake Paul series and I've done some videos about that. I've mentioned their relationship a little bit and just how Erica was made out to be this woman who was teaching Jake how to love again and all this other stuff and being held on a pedestal. But anyways, you can check out my Shane Dawson playlist if you want to get some more updates on that. But anyways, Jake Paul did put a note up on Twitter yesterday and a bunch of channels are covering it and he's saying, yo, we broke up. It's hard on both of us. Leave us alone. Right? Okay, cool. That's cool. But anyways, like there's some really valuable, valuable mental health stuff to talk about when it comes to relationships from this situation and I was actually inspired by two people. Yes. Two people. The first one being my man, Peter Mon. So if you don't know who Peter Mon is, he has like four or five YouTube channels. His biggest one is his drama channel. Right? If you like me, you'll like what he does if you haven't checked him out yet because he talks about problems, but he focuses on the solution. He's not just like all drama, like he gives his opinion and he and I have a lot of the same views on things. He's also someone who's in long-term recovery. He has way more time than I do. But anyway, some of you have asked me like, you know, my opinions or thoughts on Peter Mon. I love Peter. Has he screwed up? Yes. But I truly think that his heart is in the right place and he's always trying to learn and grow. But maybe it's just because I know a lot of people in recovery and I'm a little bit more empathetic to that. But Peter's a good guy. We talk in DMs and I love that dude. So that's my opinion. I'm not going to do a whole video about it. So the second person I'm going to shout out is Leslie. Leslie was talking to me on Twitter when I was saying that I was watching the new Peter Mon video about the Jake Paul and Erica Costell situation. So thank you, Leslie, because Leslie brought up a very good point about these unrealistic expectations. So here comes old man Chris real quick. And back in my day, we didn't have all the social media, but this is a fun fact about me. I used to be obsessed and I'm talking obsessed with romantic comedies. I would sit and watch romantic comedies growing up. I loved watching them as I got older. I turned into an alcoholic. I would get really drunk and watch romantic comedies. But what we're going to talk about today that is going to lead into modern times in social media. Well, romantic comedy still exists, but yeah. This is more relatable to social media. But anyways, what happens? And this is a huge issue. This is a huge issue because I want the the core idea of this video to be your unrealistic expectations. So when it comes to me watching rom-coms or even TV in general growing up, I was getting unrealistic expectations of what real relationships were like. Right. So when you watch romantic comedies, they always follow the same formula. Right. You know, guy, girl, they meet up. You know, and then all of a sudden, you know, oh my God, you're quirky. I'm quirky, too. We have this in common. And then through some random like series of events, they run into each other. They follow them up. Then they get into a big fight. Then they make up and come back together and it ends. Right. And that's what I thought relationships should be like. Right. Like, you know, you'll have like a little, a little spat here and there. But you guys, you guys are just so drawn together that you're going to live together happily ever after. Like something I thought about more as an adult and someone who's matured more emotionally and mentally is like, where are these people five years from now? Right. And it's kind of funny when you think about it and you look back at wrong comes, but I was brainwashing myself by setting up these unrealistic expectations about what relationships should be like. And it's screwed up a lot of my relationships moving forward. So now when we're looking at Jake Paul and Erica Costell in this YouTube age, in this social media age, like there's all this like hashtag relationship goals and stuff. And you have to realize you have to realize that you are only seeing the best, the best of what these people want to show you. Okay. Like Peter Mon brought it up in his video when he was talking about this. Like he was talking about how, you know, people are shocked or surprised or let down or whatever, because all they do is show you the best parts. Like I watch every episode of the Shane Dawson series, right? I don't watch Jake or Erica, but if you watch the Jake Paul series from Shane Dawson, like you see, it looks like this amazing, beautiful relationship, but clearly stuff was going on that we didn't know about. Right? Like in Jake's tweet, he said, we broke up a while ago. Like the Shane Dawson series just ended. So how long is a while ago? But not only when you're watching like YouTubers and their breakups, like think about what you're doing, like how depressed you are or how lonely you are when you're scrolling through Instagram, when you're scrolling through Facebook, like I don't think that social media is what's making people depressed. I think it's the way we look at social media, which is making us depressed. And you have to figure out, like when you're scrolling through Instagram, you're seeing all these happy couples and you're sitting there beating yourself up like, Oh, I wish I had a relationship like that. I wish I had this. I wish I had that. Like they're only showing you the best parts of themselves. And you have to remember that when you're going through social media. So when that depression kicks in, you have to realize that those are unrealistic expectations. And here is the best example I can give you. The best example I can give you. I had a really good friend that I worked with. Her and I, we worked together and then we ended up working in the same department and like, I forgot how we became friends, but we talked a lot. And she was dating this guy for about two years. But anyways, like she confided in me and, you know, told me about all their relationship problems and she knew I was in recovery. So a lot of times she was asking me like if he was an alcoholic, but every time we would go outside to have a conversation, like she would just tell me about their terrible relationship, just awful relationship, just how he's texting other girls and flirting with other girls and how he fights with her and gets mad at her for the dumbest things about how he's always angry, always in a bad mood. All sorts of things. Like she would just tell me just how terrible the relationship was. Like she would leave him on a regular basis and go stay with family. Or I think even one time she like rented a hotel for a week or two just to get away from him. Just all these things that she vented to me about. But when you went on social media, when you went on social media, like all it was was just every time they went out, how happy they were. Right? Every time they went out, it was these couples' goals. Every time they went out, it was how much she loved him and everything. I'm sitting there and it's just this is something that people do. And it really it really baffles me, but we're always trying to put on this facade. Right? I talk to you guys a lot about caring way too much about what people think. Like we try to put these things out here to make everybody think we're in this happy, perfect relationship when we're not. Right? And what ends up happening is we stay in toxic relationships way too long. We lie to ourselves, you know? And then there's people like you who are scrolling through social media wondering why you don't have that person, that perfect relationship. But I'm giving you a real life experience I've had where I knew what they were posting on social media was not the reality of the situation. So I want you to remember that as you're watching these couples or anything on YouTube, you know, some YouTubers have talked about like forced happiness and fake happiness. And like that's why I love YouTubers who just get real with you, who just get real because that's what real life is, is ups and downs. Like perfection should never be your goal in any situation. You should never try to make your relationships perfect. You should never try to make yourself perfect. Like just strive for better, right? Because especially any of you who are like perfectionist, this can make you beat yourself up. And what happens is and what happened to me with my unrealistic expectations of relationships, like any tiny little fight that me and a girlfriend would get in, I'm like, this is terrible. This is awful, right? Because movies, TV shows, social media, YouTubers, whatever, taught me that relationships were supposed to be perfect, but that's not the reality of the situation. So those of you who've been following me for a while, you know about my beautiful girlfriend, Tristan. And I talk about her a lot on here. I talk about a relationship. I don't talk about everything, but I think she's OK with me talking about this right now. So for example, Tristan and I are moving in a week. OK? And Tristan has her own anxiety. I have my own anxiety. Maybe we can do a video sometime about two anxious people making a relationship work and we love each other so much. But anyways, moving is stressful, like moving is stressful. If you've ever moved in your life, it's stressful. I used to move once a year, right? And now I've been in this place for, like, I think five years now. And now we're finally moving. We're getting our own place. It's supposed to be this happy event, but it's stressful, right? Transferring all the bills this morning. Tristan and I are talking about like moving stuff and packing stuff. And it's only a week away. And, you know, she is much more organized and structured than I am. I am a mess and chaotic and like I get things done, but not in that same organized way. And that's where her and I kind of, you know, we we butt heads a little bit, but this morning we had a great conversation and like, you know, we were we're both getting a little upset about the move and we're both stressed and like we we brought it back down and we compromise and we work with each other and we communicated, you know? And I want you guys to know about that stuff because that's the perfect relationship for me is Tristan and I are people, you know? We don't always agree. We don't like, man, some of the videos I put up, she completely disagrees with. You know what I'm saying? Like I take her opinion into account all the time and then we kind of find this happy medium ground. So I don't want any of you to ever look at like me and Tristan's relationship and say, it's perfect. It's the best relationship I have ever been in my entire life, but like, I want to be transparent with all of you because I don't want you to ever look at me and think that everything is all perfection. That's why I try to be real and honest with you guys. So anyways, the moral of this thing is look out for these unrealistic expectations that you're seeing on social media, that you're seeing on YouTube, if you're seeing in romantic comedies, whatever it is and lower your expectations, have realistic expectations. I swear to you, your relationships will get better. Your depression will start to calm down. If you're somebody who's single watching this, um, but like, please, please, please work on this and let me know, let me know down in the comments below, do you feel, do you feel that you have unrealistic expectations of relationships or life in general, just because of what you see on YouTube or on social media? Let's have a conversation down in the comments below. Okay. Or if you have a story that's similar to mine about my friend who was always having problems with her relationship, but then posted that everything was perfect online, maybe you've done it or you've had a friend who's done it. Like let's talk about it in the comments below. Okay. Anyways, that's all I got with this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You are all amazing. And if you would like to help me write a message of hope when it comes to mental health, you can click or tap on that Patreon icon right there and sign up for as little as $1 a month. All right. Thanks so much for watching. Have realistic expectations and I'll see you next time.