 Everybody, welcome back to Esoteric Atlanta for our weekly coffee chats. We're on my channel this week and I am joined with one of my besties, Katherine Edwards and all of our besties watching right now as we gab about life events and things going on and bullies and all that jazz. How are you doing today, Katherine? Oh, I'm really, really good and looking forward to this conversation as always, look forward to all our conversations. I was telling you before we went on that orange is such a pretty color on you too. So I'm really too love orange, yeah, so. Well, before we get into it, I just wanted to, Katherine, you and I've had an issue with somebody leaving comments under our friends who comment, especially on rumble on our videos and there's this person pretending to be us that leaves their phone number. It's an Alabama number for you guys to call and I've covered this a couple of times. I just want to reiterate it. You guys, that's not us. It's not Katherine, it's not me. I was telling Katherine to actually text the number because you're impersonating me. Just use discernment when it comes. There's, we can't, we can't really do anything. Can we, Katherine, when these fake accounts pop up? It's so frustrating and the trouble is by the time you know it, they've put the comment literally everywhere. So you're either going to spend, you know, six hours going through deleting them because even after you block them and then they just spring up with another one and another one. I keep having it with fake Instagram accounts and telegram accounts and things like this. So it's just ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure people realize it's a spam, but there's always a few that don't. Right, and I think you guys, I had no idea until I got an email from a six, I don't really go and rumble that often. I don't check the comments on rumble that often. So I didn't know until Dragonfly actually emailed me and said that these comments are being left. And it is, you just use your discernment guys. I think you can kind of tell when it's the person. I mean, I'm never going to tell you, first of all guys, Captain and I are not idiots. We're two women. We're not going to post our private numbers on the internet for safety reasons. I don't have problem giving my number out to people privately, but to put it on the internet like that for two women, that's just not safe. Also I do want to remind anybody who gets the idea of hacking that I own my name. I legally own the name of Esoteric Atlanta. I made sure of that before I even opened my channel and Catherine, that's her name, her actual name. So, you know, you're kind of playing with fire there from a legal perspective, but just be, just have discernment guys. Yes, fake Instagram accounts, fake comments on YouTube that are under our names, fake Twitter, anything like that, that's not us you guys. So just use discernment. Don't give anybody, I will never send you a private message asking you for money. So just know, none of us do private readings. You know, all my consults are put through my website. Same with prices. You know, we do not do private readings. We don't ask for money. We don't tell you to invest in anything. And that's the only time you have my permission when you see these comments to put a really rude comment back saying scammer piss off. Because I do think sometimes when you name and shame them it just highlights it to others. And this will tie in with what we're going to be talking about today because the energy stream, you know, it's not a big deal because most people know but it's so sad when people do get scammed by things. And I have had a few people that have been. And I think it's really, really important to, it does also have one person who got really cross with me because they responded to a message on a face Instagram account. And then they started projecting all this blame on me for trying to do this, try to do that. It wasn't even me, you know. Yeah, that's the hard part. They're using our name. So that's what pisses me off. Like you're using my name to scam people and I don't consent to that. So listen guys of the universe, I don't consent to you using my name without my permission to scam people. So yeah, just, and if you do, unfortunately, if you do respond to scammers and get caught up in that, guys, there's nothing Catherine and I can do. We can't fund you money. We can't get, that's, it's not us. It's not us. And even when you report it to the platform say do nothing, I mean, honestly, the amount of our videos that are out on scam accounts that are monetized on YouTube is just ridiculous. And the platforms do absolutely nothing. So there's not, you know, there's nothing we can do about it. Yeah, yeah. People are making money off of us, just not us. Yeah, exactly. So we were gonna talk about bullying today, Catherine, because I, we kind of alluded to this a little bit last week on your channel too. We talked about, you know, just, just, the world is so different now. We call them trolls now, which are basically bullies. That's basically what a troll is, the bully. And so I kind of want to talk about, because this is something I think I still struggle with. I think most people, if they're being honest, still struggle with this. How do we handle bullies? How does that work? How do you, what's the best lesson you've learned in handling bullies or trolls or abusive people? Such a good question. And it's something that comes up for so many of us in different aspects of the lives. And the first thing I would like to say is, for me, when I'm talking about bullying here today, I'm talking about verbal abuse, not about physical abuse, which for me is assault. So when I'm talking about here, I'm not talking about someone who's in a situation that's actually being physically abused, that's outside the scope of what I'm talking about today. And so for me then, you can divide it into two things, the in-person on the online. And I would, I'm going to start with the online actually, because it's so, so rife now. I think the first thing to keep reminding ourselves is that no one who's happy and confident in themselves behaves like that. So I'm not suggesting we have empathy for bullies because I'm not going, I'm not at that point now at all, because I think once you're grown-ups and adults, then regardless of what trauma you've got, you've got different ways, you've got a choice about how you deal with that. But the online bullying and trolls and awful abusive behavior, I think what the biggest thing I've learned is actually it's really important to set clear boundaries and put a stop to it. So a lot of people advise do nothing, say nothing, don't feed into the energy. But actually when you look at the laws of the universe and the fact that energy flows where attention goes, let's say an example, just you've got something on social media or a video and someone started leaving some really negative, horrible stuff, bullying stuff. If you don't stop it, that's flowing energy in that direction. And what I find is people very easily get knocked into that vibration and can start joining in, in different ways. And it gets very abusive very quickly. I saw this on Instagram recently. So one of the biggest things I've learned, Bryce, is stop it in its tracks. I don't agree any more with ignoring it. I agree in taking action and we can talk about what that might be to stop it. So if it's online, I would block the person really as soon as I saw it now because I think there's a real danger that it sets the energetic tone and sets people, everyone else on that tone as well. Yeah, I really, because I've noticed that, I've been very clear on my channel that my, I think, I don't want to speak for you Catherine, but I think you would probably agree. I'm totally fine with viewers not agreeing with me, having a different opinion, but there's a way to talk about different opinions in a respectful way. And I encourage a respectful debate because that's how we learn. But what I do not tolerate is name calling. What I do not tolerate is attacking someone's integrity or their character just because they have a different opinion than you do. And I've made that very clear. If that happens, you will be removed from my channel because there's no room for that. And I had a comment the other day. Now, I will say, and I really was disappointed in this comment for the person who left this comment. I will say that sometimes YouTube glitches, sometimes comments get reshuffled, sometimes comments get removed by the platform and they reappear again. And I don't think there's anything nefarious behind that. I think it's a computer system and computer systems sometimes glitch. Like what is it over a billion people are uploading a video every minute on YouTube? There's going to be glitches. It's just common sense. And this person was kind of accusing me of deleting his comment because he had a different opinion. He went back and edited and saw, oh, it was actually just reshuffled. And I was like, well, why didn't you just apologize for accusing me of doing something that I didn't do? And then he made a comment about me deleting a comment that somebody else had left that was very nasty to another person in the comment section. And I actually didn't delete that comment either. I gave the person a warning. And I said, you're welcome to be here with a different opinion. You just need to be respectful and treat people like human beings. And he's the one that went back and deleted his comment after I said that. And it made me think I was like, do you relate to this person that left this comment? I was like, do you believe that because I'm a YouTuber, because I have a decent sized platform that I therefore must take abuse? I think they do, Bryce, because I've had this a lot on mine as well. And I see a consistent theme of people saying, well, if you put yourself up in the public eye, you should be used to this and you should expect it. It's like, no, you're judging everyone by your standards. And what I'd like to point out back to people is, and I know most of the people watching this aren't the ones doing it, but we've all had to encounter it and we've all seen it happening on all the platforms. And not just ours on all of them. You've only got to look at Twitter or X and Instagram. And it's just foul. But the thing is, you get back what you put out into the universe. And if you're putting out that nastiness, don't be surprised when your life sucks. And I think in terms of comments, let's take YouTube as an example, because we're on that platform now. YouTube will hold what they call potentially abusive or inappropriate comments. And that's not down to us. But contrary to popular belief, we are working all day every day and we don't sit there looking at comments all day. We just can't, physically, we can't do that. We'll do them as and when we can. Secondly, I've had quite a few situations like you've just explained, Bryce, where I've gone back and said to the person, look, this is really inappropriate and this is why I think it's really inappropriate and they've chosen to delete their comment. But thirdly, if you see someone's going down and abusing someone else on the chat and name calling, as we've spoken before, we all know it's through their inadequacy. We know that because they can't hold a proper opinion and every single one, a person on these platforms is very welcome to go up and set their own platform and do their things. But I can hand on heart say, in my life, I have never ever gone on any social media platform and left a negative comment. Same, I hardly even ever, sometimes I'll comment on like my friend's channels just to help the algorithm because it does help, but I don't even comment on people's YouTube channels. If I'm watching a video. I will go in and give a good comment because I'm a strong believer, I don't believe what you said, Bryce, about the algorithms. Knowing how hard it is being a YouTube provider, I get so many personal messages of which I am really thankful because it really is helpful of people saying, oh, I really love that video. I really love this. I really love that. And I often will get back to them and I'll say it would really help me out if you put the comment on there because it does feed the algorithms. So I try on videos that I'm watching on all other platforms to leave something constructive, but I'd either leave something constructive or nothing at all. Yeah, same. It's what I would never, I've never, ever, ever gone and left something negative because why would I? It's like your choice. You're on that platform by choice. If you don't like it, like on the TV, if you don't like the program, you turn it off and just move yourself in the situation. So in terms of, for me now, it's a really hard line on my channel. I'm really clear like you. I'm like, I absolutely love different opinions. I genuinely love them because I've learned so much over the last few years, over my lifetime, but particularly over the last few years by listening to other opinions and having different perspectives that I haven't even thought about because like when we were on with Mike, Rock and Mike and we were talking about the son of Sam and you brought up quite rightly so because Mike's in New York, he's got a completely different color but completely different perspective. And this is the beauty is we've all got different upbringings. We all live in different parts of the world. We've got different experiences. We're in different emotional and physical states and all of those mean that we'll see the same situation and hear the same information through completely different lenses. And this is how we can learn where our blind spots are and where our fixed belief systems that maybe need to be relaxed a bit are, but there is never an excuse and to think that just because anyone, whether it's a politician, that's why I don't even agree. And this really piss a lot of people off. But even just going and saying, I shouldn't have said that because I'll get your channel. I can mute it. It's okay. Well, let's go. What she said, guys, was let's go, Brandon. Yeah, exactly. But even that, yes, you've got to have a bit of humor and things, but equally at the same time, I think we've just got to be really careful where we put our attention. I would so much rather people put their attention on what they do want and the candidates and the people they do want to support because we all know that the worst thing you can do to a bully is completely ignore them and not feed their fire. Yeah. It's gotten, I mean, again, we spoke about that. I'll tag last week's video in the description box to you guys, because we kind of touched on this a little bit last week on Catherine's channel. And it's this predicament, right? Because when we were younger, most of us watching, I don't think I have, most of my demographic is my age or older. So I think most of us watching did have a childhood that was without the internet or cell phones. And if you were a bully, bullies sometimes got sucked. You, the stakes were high. I mean, the playground bullies, I have a little bit more respect for than the internet bullies because the stakes were higher, right? You know, and nowadays people can sit behind a keyboard and project that nastiness to people they don't even know because of their own perception. I mean, we've talked about it a lot, Catherine, with our sponsorships and payments and stuff like our patrons, all that kind of stuff. What do we do? Gnostic and things we can do to legally make money off of our work and the bullying we get for that. The bullying that we get for actually trying to take care of ourselves and pay our bills. And so, and that's a projection of somebody else. And it is, it's so frustrating. It's so infuriating. I mean, just going back to that, you know, that people believe because I am a face on their YouTube screen that I somehow deserve to be bullied. It's so disgusting. And I, yeah, Catherine, I never, I will intentionally leave comments, like I said, for Catherine or for any of my friends, Shanti, for Sarah, the tea leaf reader, my friend. I will constantly go and leave comments because I know that it helps them. It's a positive comment that will help them because they're my friends and I want their work to get out there. I want that for them, right? And I don't understand the mentality that people have. I kind of want to be like, do you have a life? Why? The first problem is they really don't. And it's a very soy state of affairs. And with AI, it's likely to get even more when most people haven't lost their purpose. And this is where I think we talk about us all being a community on here. And I really do feel, you know, our channels, Shanti's channels, you know, the people that we work with, it really is a community. We've all evolved, hopefully, so much in a continuing age to do. And this is where I think we can really help each other out. And I'm not just, I'm talking about this in the wider perspective, we're just using YouTube as an example because we're on there. But this is where we all step in and we start to change behavior because AI is monitoring everything all the time. And this is why one of the other reasons why the pen is suddenly dropped to me to stop, if it's online to stop it as soon as I see it, because when you let that snowball, we are literally programming AI, which is driving a lot of our lives and a lot of what information we get fed on all our platforms. That is driving what AI is going to feed you. So you're gonna get more of that sort of energy vibration coming through. So it's actually really damaging to everyone who's involved in that, to see that vibration. And I just always laugh. I was thinking, you know, I'm a little alien looking down on planet Earth and I'm like, what playground am I watching here? It amazes me to think that adults could behave like this. Now children, bullying with children, I do think is a bit of a different situation because a lot of children who bully and who are bullied have got a lot of insecurities and they haven't necessarily had the role models, got the emotional intelligence, the skill set or had anyone to show them how to deal with that in a different way. So I do think dealing with children who are bullies or being bullied is a very different scenario in my opinion because you've got to understand that at different stages of development, the brain isn't developed in the same way, the life experiences, they might not have had the mentors in their life to actually have some choice about it. But anyone who's sitting on YouTube has got the free will to choose to search for something constructive or choose to something to be offended about and I keep coming back to it. Good old Wayne Dyer, I love you Wayne Dyer. People will look for 100 things a day to be offended about and this is where I think each and every one of us, we know when we're on a bad mood day, we know when our vibe has dropped a lot. So therefore that's when we have to make really conscious decisions for something that's gonna really help us and lift us not to feed the negative state that we're already in. Those people that suffer from stress and anxiety and we all do to some degree, it's just different degrees at different stages in our life. This is where we have to take self-responsibility when you're an adult, when you're a child at school and you're in a particular situation or in home life, it can be very difficult for to remove yourself from that situation, but online you've got a choice and I think we all need to crack down on the behavior a lot quicker because how can we complain about all the censorship if we're not self-centering and self-monitoring? And that means- I don't know if anyone's leaving. Yeah, and I think too like when I see people comment nasty things to the people in my comment section that are engaging in conversation, I feel like as a platform owner that it is my duty to defend those people and to say, hey, that's not good man. Like you can't speak to my subscribers that way. You can't speak to, I'll just, Jane Doe, 616, whatever. You can't call, you can't name call her that. That's not okay. It's okay that you have a different opinion, but I'm not gonna, and I wonder too, like when you actually make that stand and someone sees that you stood up for them, does that shift the energy then? That, you know, because sometimes I think we second guess ourselves, like, do I deserve to be called a name? Do I, you know, when people start, and that's, and to me that, I know like gaslighting is telling somebody what they saw happened and it didn't actually happen, but to me when you're basically shaming a content creator for deleting abusive comments and saying, oh, you just can't take criticism, well, there's a difference between constructive criticism and abuse. There's a very big difference. And to make a content creator feel like you should be able to abuse them at your will is a you problem, not the content creator's problem. And I don't fault any content creator for deleting abusive comments because there's a huge difference. Completely. And I think it's so funny because, you know, if most content on YouTube, a lot of it falls into the podcast where there's an interview situation. So the host is interviewing a guest and asking the guest to express their opinion. Yeah. Not necessarily agreeing with the guest's opinion, but being respectful enough, if you've invited a guest in to your show, you're not, why would you invite someone in? And then just humiliate them and just down them, and listen respectfully to their opinion and then take some time to think, is there something I need to learn? If we're having coffee chats like this, the whole point is we're friends talking and discussing our opinion on our channels. So don't then criticize us for being opinionated because do you want us to sit there and just say to everything? When Bryce asked me a question, I said, don't know. Don't know. Don't know. It's good. It's not gonna be much fun to watch, but you can choose to be here. So I think the thing is, I think, and I would put a call out to all of us, Bryce and I included, because we use Instagram, we use different platforms. I think we can start changing the behavior from our perspective as the users, as the audience, because otherwise, we're so quick. I was thinking about this on my dog walk today, Bryce. I was like, actually, there's something really wrong with this whole awakening movement to me and something really off course for it. And one of the conclusion I came to is like, we're still, for whatever justification we do it, we're spending so much time and energy pointing out what's wrong in the world. And I actually sat there and thought, I thought, you know what, before I joined the so-called Truth of Community, which we all hate that name, but it's what we're lumped with, so let's get used to it. Before I joined that community, I was really happy. I still am really happy. There are atrocities going on in the world which break my heart, particularly when it comes to children and animals. There always have been, but me pitying. You know, when I first started learning animal communication, the biggest thing I had to really take a cold, hard look at myself and how my behavior was not helping rescue animals, for example, is pity is such a low vibrational. So pity is not going to help anyone. When there's trauma going on in the world, feeling pity for those people. So it's either in the category of can I do something about it, in which case, yes, do something about it, or no, don't feed the energy into it. And I think this does tie in with the bullying capacity because I'm like, we've got to the stage where we're excused by a behavior in all areas of society far, far too easily. We all want to use social media platforms because that's how we can communicate and find our tribe across the road. And yet we complain and complain. I've complained and complained because I've been censored massively. And yet, if we don't start behaving better, how can we affect the controllers of the platform? How can we expect them to be behaving better than we're behaving? Because quite frankly, most of the people participating do behave like children in a school playground that don't know better. Yeah, it's, I was seeing you before we even started the recording that I just, I'm so frustrated because at this point, the so-called truth or community is, and we're again, guys, for 99.9% of the people watching right now, we're not talking about you. You're enjoying it. They're really not talking about you. They're not talking about you. But we know, but we're having this conversation because we know that you are aware of this as well. The truth or community has become worse, worse behaved than the normies. Yeah. Way worse behaved. And it's that entitlement. We were talking a lot about boundaries too, and sometimes bullies don't know, bullies don't respect boundaries. And my mother used to tell this to us growing up, when someone says stop, you stop. Yeah. You know, like you, if someone says stop, and usually my sister and I were fighting or something and we'd be pulling each other's hair and she'd be letting one of us say stop, you stop, you stop. So when someone tells you, like myself, you're allowed on this channel to have a respectful debate, but if you name call, if you bully, that's a hard boundary. Now your choice is you can push that boundary and you could ignore the permission, the rules of this platform. And the consequence is that you're, because you push that boundary, you're gonna be blocked. That's not my, I've given you the boundary of my channel. So for those that think I shouldn't have a boundary because I'm a person on your YouTube, so I'm a human being. Just as you have boundaries, for those of watching, you have boundaries as well, we all have boundaries. And I think Catherine, like I think in today's age, you and I are pretty good about allowing, like so many people out there now, if someone has a different opinion, they just block them from the channel completely. We encourage that. We encourage people to give their perspective, because you're right Catherine, you're seeing it through a different lens. When you stop and listen, we stop it. What's that quote people say? People don't listen to understand, they listen to respond. If you stop and listen to understand, someone else's perception of something, you might not, you still might not agree with them, but at least you understand where they're coming from as a human being. And that's powerful. And when you start name calling instead, it's like, no, you're gone, you crossed the boundary. It's a really good example you just brought up there. And in our chat last week on my channel, someone left a comment. It was one of the ones where you'd said about this guy who had got his daughter who'd been bullying. He'd found out his daughter was the one doing the bullying. So he made her walk to school, but he drove behind her to make sure she was safe and everything. And someone took real offence at that and said, what a disgusting way to do it. And there were so many assumptions in this woman's comment, so many assumptions. She'd assumed that that child was traumatised by it, but not knowing the story at all or anything. And this is what I mean about it is human nature. We've all been brought up to really take offence at things. Most people have been brought up in that high stress environment where you do. So it does take training not to do it, but the beauty of when you put something down in writing is you've got a chance to go back and reflect. So I deliberately left that comment and didn't respond for a few days because I thought, okay, I need to sit with this and sort of see what it was. And then I went back and left a link to the live that Shanti and I did because we did cover this in quite a long while and it was about making assumptions for things we didn't know about. Because there's a big difference. We can all see why we react like this, but we've just got to look and sort of say honestly, am I just jumping making two and two makes five from this? Could I have asked a question and asked for more clarification on this situation? Because I get that you can raise concern over something, but instead of raising concern and assuming the worst, how about assuming the best or asking for more information so that you could then make your mind up whether your assumption was really true or not. Well, that comes out to researching and critical thinking too, because that video is available, you can just Google it. I don't live that far from the school. So if you watch the video, you can tell this child was not being traumatized. She might have been embarrassed to show up to school walking with her dad falling behind in a truck, which was probably the point so that she wouldn't bully anymore. But if you watch the video, you would see it was nothing. I mean, it was a flat sidewalk. And this is what I mean. I think we can all learn so much from bullying because there are a lot of extreme bullies out there and on the physical side of the things, I think often needs different approaches. And this is where boundaries really come into it. I've watched a lot about this because having children go through the schooling system, you get involved in bullies there. Funny enough, Bryce, I was never ever bullied at school. And in fact, even though I was the smallest in the class, I always was the one that stood up to all the bullies because I had such a hell band in it. And I think it's because I'd experienced a lot of bullying in the home environment, which I couldn't escape from at that stage, that actually I'd developed a lot of coping skills. And so when in there, it was a school environment where I could have a choice in it. And what I did find there really strongly is where you set a hard boundary and just I am not engaging this and you are not doing this, it really works. But obviously a lot of particularly children haven't got the confidence to do that. And if you're in, say, an abusive, you know, as I said, this video isn't about abusive marriages or abusive relationships and things because that's a different stage. It's more about the general lack of respect in the way people treat other people. And then we blame the master controllers, the cabal, whatever it like. And we blame it for behaving like this, but what actions are we allowing to go on in our daily life? You know, it's like I always said, you know, unfortunately, anyone, and it's really hard for us not to, because I've got animals and they have to eat meat, anyone who buys factory farmed animals that are slaughtered in a slaughterhouse or that buys a particular breed of dog because it looks cute. How can then we then moan about what is going on in a lot of harvesting on the human front of stuff? I thought I'd feel the same way, the same way. How can we, it's just the innocent among us. How can we complain? But yeah, then go buy a bunch of meat from the grill. It's the same thing. It's the decision we make. And seriously, it's a minefield. Trust me, has that been working in natural health for 30 years now, it's a minefield because when you start being aware of all these things, you can't even have a relaxing trip to the shops because you're reading every label. This is how I got my glasses and why my lice got started getting strained because you can't even go to the grocery shop or the health shop and read a bottle of shampoo or even a vegan sauce. You sin, you'd be horrified at what, I mean, a mad man thinks of putter or woman, thinks of putting these things in there. So I do get it can be overwhelming and you have to have an enjoyment in life and you have to accept we're in this sort of matrix to some extent, so don't feel guilty about everything you put in your mouth and everything you buy and every decision. But equally, I think I'm personally very cautious about what I complain about and other people's behavior when I can see things that I've done to support that. Even far down the line, we've got to be realistic that all of these local decisions add up and are telling whoever you think the controllers are that we consent. Yeah, and that hypocrisy, like I say one thing would do another, that the doing the energy is what's actually the consent. One thing I wanted to end on Catherine with this coffee chat if you don't mind and what we can use that comment on your channel as an example, because I thought that was a pretty nasty, nasty one that was made. And so let's say that the video that I referred to, I even think I said that video, some people might not like this video, some people might disagree with this. You did, I'm just gonna bring out the comment. Well, I was thinking how maybe we go back to basics, like if there's something that triggers you in a video or something that maybe you feel the opposite or have the opposite opinion, how do you then? So how should have that woman responded? And I think my own thoughts and I'll let you find the comment if it's still up so we can kind of reword it that would, maybe that, maybe people have just forgotten how to debate and maybe people have just forgotten that we've come to a place in our society where people are so used to name calling that name calling is just second nature. For me, if I might have said something like, oh my God, I'm so, that makes me feel so happy that the father actually was taking responsibility for teaching his daughter not to bully. However, I'm a little bit concerned about his method. Do you have any more information on it or something like that would have been respectful? Yeah, completely. So the comment is from Katie White, 2232. And I am putting him here because you're putting it out there with things. And it's actually been edited since it was put. So this is a less severe version of the comment. I find it ironic that on the one hand, discussion is about being respectful to others. And on the other hand, you're talking about smacking children. Is that really a mature way to example respectful treatment of others? We weren't talking and saying, we've smacked children. I've never smacked a child in my, I've only smacked a child. What we were saying is when we got smacked as children, quite frankly, it didn't traumatize us is the point we were making. We realized we'd delete it, but we were never saying, we never said we'd smacked our children. So anyway, is that really mature example respectful treatment of others? To me, it's always seemed that simply the adult's way of acting out his own frustration of the situation. The story about the father making his daughter work to school sounds slightly sadistic. If you have a child who is engaging in bullying behavior, you need to get the bottom of what's going on with that child. But I mean, look at just how many you need to, you need to. How many of you? And I will, what's her name again? I'll just stop finish and then I'll say it. Why is she acting out in this way? Obviously the child has serious issues that need to be addressed sympathetically. Yes, realistically, but not in this manner. I find the story very sad and actually appalling. His approach would do nothing than worse than what is going on with her. She didn't just wake up one day and decide to be a bully. It sounds to me like her father may be the bully in this story. The truth is that children learn from what we do, not we manipulate them to do. Taking action should mean taking a mature approach to the underlying cause of the behavior. So anyone reading that statement, there are so many... Very narcissistic. Two, three, two. There were so many projections there, Katie. Very narcissistic comment. That was a very narcissistic comment. Very narcissistic. And I do want to call it out because it's fair to, if you're going to put that on them and make so many assumptions about other people, we've a right to review that. And I, in a respectful way, and I thought long and hard, and then I pointed her to the video that Shanti and I did that might make her think about her reactions. And that has been edited, that comment. So it was a lot harsher the first time. Yeah. These people, this is the problem we're in. We're buggered if we do and we buggered don't. I don't know the story of the father and I felt no need to comment on it because I got the point that you were trying to make. And had I felt strongly about it, I would have gone and looked up that story and asked for more information. But either way, it was pretty obvious that the father was trying to do something to the best variability. Any of us that are parents, whether it's to a two-legged or a four-legged, you learn as you go along. You do the best you can with the tools you've got and you get better and you get better. And this chat was trying to take responsibility and father and to just project all these and to say that it's ironic, we didn't say we'd smacked anyone. So, twisting words. And I think we have to all take accountability and I don't wanna get to a world where everyone's scared to say anything because we might use the wrong phrase and it might be insulting. I do it all the time. I was speaking to someone yesterday and she said a phrase, she's on TV, this woman. And she said a phrase that I thought was absolutely funny. She said, oh my gosh, I can't say that anymore because apparently it's derogatory to this group of people. I said, well, I didn't know that. I would have been to see. So, we can express our opinions. So Katie, you can ask and sort of say, oh, I've got this concerns. Can I ask for more information about this? Exactly. Can I ask you two to clarify? Would it have been a very kind and constructive? But if you ask questions in an accusationary way, there's only one energy you're gonna get. The question in our integrity. And basically, and that tries to be crazy. Catherine, people put words in our mouth or twist what we said, that's a narcissistic trait that is by definition a narcissistic abusive trait to twist someone's words, to make it sound. And basically, all Catherine I were talking about is that we were disciplined growing up. We had consequences. There were consequences to our actions and that's why as adults, we're shocked now to see this behavior because we had severe consequences to our actions growing up. And then to go behind that and create a whole narrative about a father basically accusing a father of doing things that we don't know. We don't know nothing about the story. And being fully himself when he's trying to do that. There's so many assumptions. And if you don't know, there's two things that I would say to Katie for this. First and foremost, re-listen to the video before making the comment because we hear things from our belief systems. So you will hear it differently. You will hear our words differently and you generally will. The mind does play tricks on us based on your limiting beliefs and we all will. So, but that's different to putting words in the other people's hands. Your responsibility as an adult is to go back and re-listen and say, did they really say this or not or was that my assumption? And if we had really said that to ask for some clarification or to express but to do a sort of shaming post based on the story that she actually said is ridiculous because we have never said we hit children at all. So, you know, it is ridiculous. I think this is the stage we've got to as this lack of self-accountability. And I have been picked up on things that I have said that I've thought, oh yeah, that wasn't great actually. Thank you. That really wasn't great completely. I'm not saying I don't ever say things that are inappropriate because I do. Yeah, yeah, we have the receipts. Yeah, well, the thing is too, I will say, Catherine, like even for Katie, if she had gone back and looked at everybody else's comments, nobody even considered, like even saw what she saw. So for me, if I were Katie, I'd be like, okay, all these other people, no, none of these other people are bringing this up. So maybe I heard it wrong. Because if Catherine were really saying the kids needed to be snatched around, then other people probably would have commented that. But I think most people understood what we were saying when we were children, we had boundaries. We had consequences. Yeah. And it was what she crossed those boundaries. Now, some children aren't lucky enough and they do have very abusive parents and abusive teachers and abusive people and others. And that's different. That's a different scenario. But, you know, if you've got anyone in your life that says this are my boundaries and you choose to cross them, it's a conscious choice. And therefore you will take... There's cause and that's karma, cause and effect. Well, I want to answer something with Katie as well. I grew up in an abusive childhood. I had a lot of abuse. I never bullied anyone. Same hand. So claiming that that little girl must have learned her bullying tactics from her dad is not necessarily true. And that's defamation. For you to already go ahead and make this a statement like a fact, that's your issue. Cause that's not, that hasn't been... And honestly, Katie, if you go find that video, you might feel like a bit of a, oh, if you watch that video, cause honestly, if you watch the video, the child is not being traumatized. It's not like they live in the Sahara Desert or up in Alaska where it's snowing and it's negative 30 degrees. Like she's in shorts and a T-shirt and they're walking. Walking down a sidewalk a few walks to her school. Yeah. And I do think this is why, you know, the thing is these little things make a huge difference to what we see in our world. And most of us that are having these discussions are not happy with a lot of what we see in our world. And therefore we have to be even more accountable for our own behavior. And I will say again, absolutely I say inappropriate things sometimes. I'm very happy for those to be pointed out. Very happy in a respectful way so I can learn and do better next time. And I think if we alter that attitude, it would be great. I love listening to people who can express themselves really, really well. I've just been listening to loads of Bob Proctor recently and it's just amazing to watch him because he's come from nothing to something and he just expresses himself so well. And this is why I listen to things like this so I can get better at expressing myself. But equally, I think people have to take accountability and if you're going to take accountability to do that, ask more information if you're not sure. But when you read through that thing and see how many he must, you must do this. So basically what you're saying is it's your way or the highway, Katie. Exactly, that Katie's the only one that's right. It's her perspective. Your right perspective. Right before I go into this mess globally. And you know what they say when you're pointing the finger, you got 3.20 back at you, Katie. So, and exactly, so I, you know, I were Katie and I was concerned about that comment about the child walking to school. I would have worded it like, man, that's really awesome that the father is aware of this and that the parents are trying to parent this little girl so that she doesn't continue this behavior so that she does have a proactive and incredible life. However, I'm a little bit concerned about the punishment. Is there any more information you could give me? Can you link me to the video? That's how I would have asked it. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's absolutely nothing wrong. Two things can be true, right? You can acknowledge the father is doing something proactive about the issue with his daughter bullying, but you can also be concerned with the punishment. That's okay, but to accuse Catherine of me of things we never said, to twist our words, and then to make it your way or nobody else's way and to paint a picture of the father that might not be true is not okay. That's bullying. That's, Keely was being a bully. That's a bully. And I think, you know, there are different extremes and my overriding feeling of this is like every single interaction, we say, I've got a really, really good friend called Susie. I won't say her surname. And we have really open and honest discussions. I value her so much because she's so great and we can have this and we can point things out to each other where we might have said something in a way that wasn't really as constructive as it could have been. I've learned so much from the way Susie communicates because instead of taking offense or saying, oh, Catherine said slightly wrong, I'm not going to do it again. She's like, well, actually, you know, this is this and this is how it makes me feel. What do you reckon? And I'll go back and listen to a message. And I think, oh, I completely get it. Yeah. My boyfriend's really good about that. My boyfriend, that's one thing I've really learned from him, he is really, really good at sitting back for a moment and thinking about things. And whenever something's happened in the years that upsets him with somebody else, he has the ability to sit back and say, I can see their perspective here. It doesn't mean that he's not upset, but it makes him a more calmer, a calmer individual. And he doesn't get into these issues because he can set his boundary, he can set a hard boundary, but he can also have that empathy where he understands where people are coming from. That's something I've learned from him and watching him interact at his, that's why his business is so successful. Another reason why his business is so successful is because he's fair. He's very fair, you know? And in your debating, are you being fair? Are you being fair? Because the person that you're talking to is a human being like you. Catherine and I, even though we're on a YouTube screen, we're human beings like the people that watch us. We're just humans. We're not, you know, we're not celebrities. We're not all some TV show which they're human beings too, but you know, we're just normal people that anybody can open up a YouTube channel, right? So to treat somebody like they're scum because they think about something different than you do, you're right, Catherine. I mean, who's worse? Is that, I mean, that's why, why do we still think we're under the controllers? You know, because that's the same behavior. So, you know. What's happened energetically to program, the whole energy to program the AI, AI is such a big thing. If everyone watching this is like, look at the difference what happens when you set off a trail of good as listening to some really great things. A lot of it is from Bob Cropton saying, if we were all raised with a lot more praise, not this, everyone's a winner, no one loses. I'm not talking about that ridiculous stuff. I'm talking about the state of everyone was raised with a much better self-image. Then we wouldn't have these problems. So the reason we all respond like this, and I would say this, Kate, is because we've all gone through this trauma of being raised with being knocked down and knocked down and knocked down. But we have a choice as to whether we're going to continue that behavior or not. I love that. Yeah. So I'm telling you, all the time for all of us to say, actually, I'm going to be the one in the generation that isn't going to continue this trend. Absolutely. I love that. Like, you know, Katie instead of trying to knock us down for whatever reason, you don't even know us. Again, how can you shift that? I love that. And I saw something, Catherine, once where somebody says, instead of telling a child, I'm so proud of you, tell a child, wow, you must be so proud of yourself. I love that. Just something simple. And I would say that with every comment you leave, are you proud of yourself for leaving that comment? Are you proud of yourself for calling that person a name? Or are you proud of yourself for being kind to that person and being able to respectfully disagree but still really like that person? You know, and that's the extreme too. I think that's why the bullying is on the rise as well, because we have this weird idea now in society that every person in our life has to agree with us 100% exactly about everything. And that's just impossible. That's mission impossible, right? That's not, you know, it's the unattainable unicorn. Everybody's. That's where, you know, if you want to be AI, if you want to live in that AI world, go get the chabrinche. Yeah, exactly. There you go. That's what they're trying to do to us. So absolutely, that's what they want. If you want to live in that compliant thing where we're all low-bots, then there's a group there that are happy to have you join. The same. Exactly. But other than that, I think it's great that people have, my friends, have different opinions. That's the openness. That's what makes them them. That's what makes their personality their personality. And yes, of course, when it comes to opinions, there's a huge gray area. And of course, the moralistic opinions, obviously you want to be with somebody who's not a groomer or be people in your life that aren't groomers and that aren't, you know, doing the big stuff that's wrong, but having little different opinions here or there, that's what makes it interesting. And that's what makes your friends special and unique. And even if you disagree on something minor, it's not, it's kind of fun. You can make fun of each other. It's, I saw, you know, it's bullying is one thing, but when you can make fun of your friends in a loving way, that's a different thing completely. And I just think, you know, like, how, how much, that's something about my childhood I just so miss. I so miss the fact that it was not expected. You were not expected to have people that felt the same as you. It was not expected. You know, you were, you were allowed to be, be individual people with different, and still love each other and still find each other really cool and want to hang out with each other. And, and so I encourage us to get back to that place, especially, especially if we think we're on the moralistically on the side of good, especially if you're going to hold yourself to that standard of being of the light, then we need to start acting like it. You know. Whether we like it or not, there's a lot going on. We were talking off camera. We'll leave this for next week. But yeah, I think there's a lot going on at the moment. So now's the time we've got to level up more than ever. You know, now's the time for us to really focus our attention on where it needs to be focused on and not sweat the small stuff, so to speak. Live and let live, my friends. Live and let live. And as my mama used to say, growing up over by the grace of God, go I. Over by the grace of God, go I. We need to have some grace with people. So all right, you guys, I can't wait to see our friends' thoughts on this down in the comment section below. What do you think about bullying? How would you, I mean, some of our friends watching do have YouTube channels. If you don't have a YouTube channel, I know it's hard to put yourself in that, before I had a YouTube channel, I thought I knew what it was going to be like. I had no idea what it was going to be like. So I know it's hard to put yourself in that perspective, but like, how would you handle it? Like, how would you handle, what kind of boundaries do you set for yourself? For our viewers watching, perhaps maybe you have a boss that you feel like pushes your boundaries or coworkers that push your boundaries. How do you deal with that? Give Catherine and me and our other friends watching right now your opinion and how you deal with these things. Of course, you don't have to leave names. Of course, you can change names if you need to. You know, how do you deal with the bullies? Well, what's your idea of how we move forward, being nicer to each other and having that human decency again? And you guys, once again, I'm going to put all Catherine's links down in the comments that are in the, excuse me, in the description box below. And I'll also put our video from last week in the description box below. If you missed that, please make sure, if you are not subscribed to Catherine Edwards to go get subscribed to Catherine Edwards, please double check our subscriptions to guys because sometimes you get unsubscribed to channels. Again, I think half of that just might be a glitch with YouTube. So just give the platform, even though we come down hard on YouTube, do give the platform a little bit of grace with that, that it could just be the computer system. And so make sure you're still subscribed to both of our channels so we can keep talking with you guys. And I actually think I'm going to set this up as a premiere so we can see, I can see the live chat as it's going. So you guys can interact with us in real time. Hopefully I'll be in the chat. I might not be in the chat in real time because we're going to be doing some traveling, but hopefully I'll be able to top in the chat in real time and discuss this with you guys because I really, really do value. I mean, we've got some really cool people that watch our shows, don't we Catherine? We really do. And we love, for these coffee chats, we love to hear your suggestions for what you want us to chat. So next time, I think it won't be next week because of agendas, but the week after that will be on my channel, so we alternate. So stay subscribed to both and let us know what you want to hear us covering these coffee chats because we want to do subjects that have interest to you. So please don't be shy about making suggestions. Exactly, and that's a good point. I think it's a lot of what we talk about here aren't black and white things, they're very gray. So there really is no right answer, it's just our opinion, so we really, and it's called a coffee chat because we want you to chat with us. We want to be involved with this with us, so please, yeah, all right you guys, well again, everything will be down in the description box below. Next week for my channel, it's gonna be a little bit like, so I'm gonna be traveling, but we will be back the next week in the full swing of things with everything else. So, have a wonderful day, bye everybody.