 You ready to get this shit started? They been requesting the hell out of Ms. Pat in the trap. Well, thank you. They been asking me to where you come from. I'm like, nigga, I don't know where they at. You're supposed to be in here. What's up, Chad? What going on? Nah, we just getting some pre-show banter and some background noise. We will be getting started here shortly. You didn't water, drink, or something. You can't be playing all this gangster shit around Ms. Pat. She ain't living that life no more. She didn't change. I'm a hard nigga. She like, play some of that pimping shit, man. She want to hit some pimping. He thought she was still doing the street shit. He ain't know. I do do street shit. I know, but you ain't in the streets like you was no more. Nah, I ain't in the street. You don't ride around listening to how they trap music and shit on me. I don't listen to them all fucking trap music. You can't understand them niggas. I don't like them new gangsters. Them niggas are way too weird for me. Them new gang, old gangsters used to talk shit for. The new niggas used to do talk shit. And dance like a mother for me, exactly. Them niggas are stupid. See, that's more of a Ms. Pat vibe right there. Something real smooth and easy. Something you can call somebody a bitch, too. Yeah. Bitch. Who back there doing all that talking? Who back there doing all that talking? Hey, my boy. Man, tell him to shut the ugly ass up. What's his name? I thought he was not calling. What's up with the tall dude's name? Clayton. I thought he was talking. I don't know if Clayton coming. He guys had a baby. Clayton just had a baby. Well, his girl did. It ain't him. But it's his. Oh, look, what the fuck is going on? I didn't want it to be like he had it, but they did. Yeah. All right there, Clayton having babies. Hell, yeah. Clayton out here having babies, man. Chad got a baby, too. Who? Chad that just walked in. Right here. Everybody around here making some babies. He should be skeeting naked and bitches. Why? He's cute. They ain't the type of nigga you ain't to put on a condom. Oh, shit. Don't come here and start, shit. Chad, he said you ain't the type of nigga she ain't asked to put on a condom. He lying. He got a newborn. You ain't get that newborn by breaking no condom a little bit. Damn, she'll did. What? Yeah, nigga, I'm not trying to fuck you. I'm trying to compliment you. That's how scared he is. I'm trying to break your way with them cornrows. Fuck them, do what a nigga was bragging to say. I'm a old bitch. I can't even bragging, nigga. I mean, he's got a haircut. He's trying to beat me off him, nigga. I don't think this is real. His girl abuses him, so he have to do shit like that. I see that, god damn you. I'm sorry, I only like one woman. What? Shut your scary ass. He's all he went to defense mode. I don't want you out, nigga. Start looking at the floor and shit. I only got one woman. I don't need you to fuck short, nigga. I can't point it if you say it like that way for sex. No, I say, you too cute to be having on a condom. You should skeetin' bitches, because you're good looking. No, no, no, that's not smart. Well, I'm not saying it's smart, nigga. I'm telling you what you look like. She saying you allowed to. If you wanted to. She saying this should allow you to skeet in there. No, I'm fucking responsibility. Get the fuck out of here. Nobody can see. I'll be telling them. He always want to be a good person for shit. This is me trying to go to child support for it. Who we got coming? He on the way? He on the way? All right, bet. Well, we'll just record all this shit talking, because that's what the fuck we doing. Clayton on the way. We'll start with you. I was just trying to come here. I wasn't trying to fucking let you do it. You too small for me. I want to be respectful and let you do it. I ain't gonna get you fucked. Well, I just said bitches should let you skeet in there. Back in the day, you the type of nigga at the skeet ring that was skeeting in all the bitches. It was just a flashback for me, sir. Shut up, Chad. Just shut up. You can't even take a chance. What y'all just squished an ass nigga from? I don't know. Sometimes. You got a friend from Bobby's in the back pocket. You got one of them little pocket Bibles in your back pocket. Stop talking to this nigga, man. He don't know nothing but breast milk now. You the reason why bitches don't fucking like skin, nigga. Nigga, you really like skin. Chad, just go find something to do. Nigga, get a broom so we can flow. You're upsetting me. You fucking up the gift, Chad. Out here trying to defend your good name and shit. Man, fuck all that good shit. Shut up, you get some pussy. Hell, we want none. That's what he said. I'll feed off. Oh, we love that nigga. One little pussy with you. You gonna be all right, Chad. Yeah. And you ain't got enough dick for two bitches anyway. God, take it and get out of the stock. You ask for this. Yeah. Nigga, a little nigga like you, I use your full time for all of this. Oh my God. He tried to get me off of him like I was really gonna fucking nigga. Nigga, I got vertigo. I can't be fucking nobody. Over 60. 160. Damn. Young nigga gonna tell your ass up. Ain't no young nigga gonna do a motherfucking thing to me because I pee on it. They like that type of shit. You know that solution? If you lift my legs up to a high, I pee about, not like R. Kelly by mistake. Oh. Ain't gonna have a street time about me patting squirt and everything. I ain't no squirtin' nigga. You put it in my head. Hey, me patting with a patting lot of 24 self. God damn. You gotta keep the whole pussy warm. You gotta watch what you say on this motherfucker because Joe will put the title up Miss Pat pissing on people. Yeah. You gotta watch this nigga, nigga. Please don't put that shit up there. Me patting ain't gonna be pissing on nobody, okay? He'll do that. He blow down like that. Check. Joe got flip flops off. Get him. Get him. Clearly, your message ain't getting across. What he do? He the CEO. One of your DJs playing that bullshit music. Oh, Miss Pat don't like that. Place some more shit. No, you don't pay DJ. Turn it off. Miss Pat hates it. Start over, you fucker. Yeah, Miss Pat, he haven't been bullshitting like ever since. He been working with the other motherfucker. He don't bring up the two, three beats of show. I used to get, I used to get 12, 13 songs of show. Yeah, niggas. Eyes look funny when you take them off. He cross-eyed. Nah, they just don't look like, what the fuck? You know, they like, they there, but it looks like. You got so many likeskin niggas working with you. I don't like niggas. That was dark skin when they started. They stopped going outside. They stopped going outside. You just so happen to find, well, there's a lot of them niggas out there. You know why they all like skin? Because none of them niggas want to fight. Oh, shit. You disagree? They just be like, nah, all right. Damn. I believe he's two colors. That nigga over there with that number seven on his shirt. That nigga in from getting baptized tonight. Leave him alone, Miss Pat. He a different type of nigga. I like that nigga. You a cute little nigga. You make him nervous. What the fuck? Huh? I see you chillin'. He like the type of bitch to take you out to eat at Waffle House and act like he did something. What you think of him? He ain't that type of nigga. He try to take a bitch to up there when his shit's been around and look at the city and shit. He want an extra in there. He don't know how to go out and have a whole nigga shit. Don't tell him when he get dressed up he got a crease in the front of his pants. He had polos and shit. That nigga got crease in front of his pants. What's he tastein' a lot of songs on? Mm-hmm. Huh? Well, you ain't got no pants in the middle. Mm-mm. These are different kinds of niggas. I do that. Old silent killer ass nigga. I'm trusting. Your braids need to be retouched, nigga. Why you got four braids? You gotta have a 12 braids. What you got four braids in your motherfucking head? He had to hurry up. He was a lady doing it. He was like, my girl don't lighten up at all. Can't get her up. That nigga rushed because it was another female. Yeah. He wouldn't sit between her legs. He sat in the chair, too. I'm fine, thank you. How old are you and you that pussy with him? How old are you? This is the thing, miss Pat. He be around us all the time so he try to go over and beyond to be better niggas than us. I'm like, Brian, don't matter how hard you try to be a better nigga, you're still a nigga. You still a nigga, little nigga. But he be trying to go over and beyond. Man, I'm telling you, at the end of the day, the day over with. That's your first girlfriend you with? Mm-mm. You at your heart broke? Hell, yeah. He too nice. Niggas got scared, ran in the house. He was like, come on, come on. And he was like, nah, love this street life for me. This is totally loud for me. Totally loud for me. He ain't got to re-baptize everything. He ain't got to re-baptize everything. I don't want anybody to cry, but I don't fuck with him. He ain't quit eating meat and everything. I was saying he can't take it, don't fuck with him. He's not eating meat. I mean, assist him. I'm sorry, assist him. See, leave him alone. You don't eat meat? And put, let you get only four braids. Now I just looked at one day, all these niggas had different hats down. That nigga had dreads when we started. You got a lot of light skinned dudes around you. Well, two of them niggas is brother, so that's like one. That's your brother? No, his brother. The nigga who look like his father is his brother. No, the nigga sitting right there. The big black nigga. You look like that's his son. The nigga posted his dad on Instagram for father's day. I thought the nigga was playing. And I was like, nigga, your brother is your father. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. And you thought it was both. How are your brother and daddy back there? No, that's not his brother. That's his brother. Oh, that's his brother. Oh, y'all got two different daddies. Yeah. Of course. Who? Him and his brother. They ain't got shit. They not related to him. Who his brother? The nigga sitting beside you, them two brothers. Oh, them two brothers. Oh, okay. I thought you took my dad. No, he don't have no brother up here. Oh, okay, okay. Damn, Miss Pay, you just made me realize there's a lot of light brown as niggas around here. Niggas, somebody coming in. Well, we got Devo. Devo represent for, uh, he's super dark. Oh, Devo. Is he back there? Look, you can't even see him. Oh, got him? Yeah, Devo. That nigga just got out of jail, then. Yeah, that's the nigga. That nigga look like he about to steal something. Yeah, exactly. You saw. You saw how he wanted to work out. What happened, though? You got my father, boy. That nigga look like he's still. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. That nigga got on that third grade t-shirt, too. Ain't nobody fuckin' with that nigga. Ain't nobody fuckin' with him. Lookin' like the last motherfucker get picked up from the daycare. You look like him? The last motherfucker get picked up from the daycare. He sure will. Ha ha ha ha. Look at the little cute. He got some nice little pussy lips on. Stop. Oh, he got some. He got some cute little lips on. Look at him. He a little cute, but he got some little bit of eyes, too. Gone in the back, bruh. He's never gonna stop. I bet you that little nigga can suck a tittie. I bet you he can suck fat bitches titties. Ha ha ha ha. We should put him on the keychain. Let me take him with me. Well, I don't know what we're gonna do if my pack get ahold of Chad. She gonna have that little nigga locked in the basement. Slapping him with titties. Shut up! Shut up! I put him in my Fendi bag. You got a bag. He's over there. I put him in my purse. He cute. Callo's doin' breastfeeding the baby. I mean, not Callo. What's his nigga name? Somebody check on Clayton. Yeah, Clayton Breastfeeding the baby. I don't think he breastfeed. He might be feeding the baby some breastmilk. Breastmilk is disgusting. Yeah. That might be him right there. That is him. I can tell by his mouth. God damn it, you good, Miss Fat. You good, you motherfuckers. Nigga, I've been running out here for 30 years. I wonder what you breastfeeding the baby. Yeah, nigga, ain't gonna get up a hug. This nigga got a chick. Nigga, you got a Christian cup with alcohol. That's a real nigga right there. Spaghetti. You got on a mask? Spaghetti with a meatball. Keep it on the home side. You off? Spaghetti with a meatball. Whoever drew that picture drew the hell out of that picture. First time I looked at it, I thought it was a picture. Then I looked. This one? Yeah. All y'all pictures are nice. We got some very talented fans around. Did you change your life? Nah, I don't do shit. I forgot you changed your life. Nigga, I ain't never did no shots. I know, but you saw a crack. Well, the police made me change my fucking life. What's up, my wife? What's up, baby? You good? Yeah. Hey, man, your shit been in the works for a minute. It has. Five years. You happy to have that shit out? Nigga. Those five long fucking years of some those and babies and hoes and all kind of shit. I'm glad that people finally get to see it. They need to. First time I saw him in a pack. Twisted taco? It had to be twisted taco. Twisted taco. It had to be twisted taco. Yo. Told their ass off. I know you talked shit to some of them white people that was in there. Of course. I still hear some shit. That's one of them people trying to say you use some car insurance? Yeah, you owe a warrant. Yeah. I'm so sick of them. No, no, no, no. The one who called you and said, you're so secure that I'm about to be inspired. I said, oh my God, I need to speak to somebody. And I said, they was like, you need to give us your bank account number. I said, I'm gonna fuck you up, Nigga, and I'll find your motherfucking ass and then you'll cost me a fuck you bitch and hang up. I don't ever just hang up on them cars. I always act like I'm at the bank and I can't understand what they're saying. Oh, really? Yeah. What you say you need now? Now, just give me your account. I'll just put it in. What do I need to do? They got to cost their ass out. When it be them foreign people, I go here and I just try and call them a name that I know. Because you know they tell you the name that ain't their name. This is Paul. I'm like, Purdy. Sanjay, stop bullshitting. How did you know? How did you know? I was like, yeah, nigga. You get a one out of ten. But you ain't gonna get my motherfucking money. You out come rob me with a pistol. You ain't gonna get me over no motherfucking phone call. Nope. And you ain't gonna hardly get it with no pistol because I'm gonna have it in my drawers and I'm gonna say, if you can get out now, you can get it. That's where you keep your money? They gonna make you strong. Yeah, nigga, I got on the spank. If you don't fuck the fat bitch with a spank, it just don't pull it out like underwear. I know. Baby club. I don't think I've ever seen you with fat girls, Carlos. You ain't supposed to see me with them. They didn't want to be seen with me. No, he... You're trying to... Wait a minute. You wouldn't let them see you. So, what are you saying? You don't take fat girls out? I didn't ever say that. Do you fuck them? I have before, but the ones that I... Did you have a relationship with them? Yeah, a relationship with was doing better than me. So, they didn't want me out. Oh, you didn't fuck them. I was just sliding through. What was I doing? Niggas like you, will you let you stick it in our navels? What? You don't know the type of shit I was doing before the money came. I was thugging out here in these streets. Yeah, but will you let y'all fuck us in our navels? I don't know where you getting all this shit from. You can't compare me to none of these niggas on the streets. I am one of one. I guarantee you was fucking them in the navel. Call them up now. I don't know them no more. Yo, no, no more. No, once we threw fuck around, I don't know you no more. You're stupid. Ask me how many x's I got. We know how many x's you got. Don't do that to yourself. Baby mamas don't count. You ain't got but one of them. Ask what I'm saying. I've seen you with a few. Where's my x's? You ain't with the bitches no more. They don't know me. So what you saying? You ain't got no x's color? Zero. After 2020, I don't have no past no more. Oh, this is new, baby. Nobody used to fuck with me. So you're not in a relationship now? Who told you this? I'm asking God damn it. What this got to do with you being on here? I'm here. I don't ask any questions. You ain't got no fucking x's. I'm like hold on. I ain't got no x's. Oh, Carlos. Fuck you, Carlos. I know you by 20 years. You got him smoking his blood like he's in the pipe. He know I ain't got no x's. He know me better than anybody. Carlos. Ask him. Bro, ask him. When he gonna say it, I didn't go with her. I didn't go with her. I was like you was with her. But he's like I didn't go with her. So I see you with a lot of with hers. You didn't? You seem like you see me with no lot of x's. I've seen you with a lot of x's back in the day. What day was that? Back in the day. What year? I don't know the year I was born. I had a year in the street now. One year in the street. It might have been a year in the slum. What year are you in? Every time you came to a show it was a different. They were treated hanging out. It might have been the same one. There was not no same one. Different win? You can't trick a black bitch with wings. I know them. Shut the fuck up, Clay. You really just came out here to tell everybody I had them holes back in the day. Damn, Miss Black. Them fans. They were scroopies. They didn't exist. They were scroopies. I've been on this show building up this platform all these years to hide all the shit I used to do just for you to come on here like I was had a different You know I forgot you back in the church I ain't know what for the church but y'all about to give a breath this breast cancer without this Yeah, you might get it up off you All right, we started Did you take a minute and hit the weed so you can catch up? What? Nothing No, because I don't hit the line on me and shit She saw what she saw what she's Just trying to explain So we can catch this shit come on color don't play with me I've been around you for a long time. You know at late the baby mama's on the bitch. We saw Miss bad honestly didn't even know you seen me. He thought he was asleep I thought you were cute. I was just mad, but I know you a lot of bitches I'm just saying this bad twisted tacos I ain't having no holes in that error. I think I saw you in white bitch, baby. No, you did Okay, because I ain't even I would that error there was the beginning. I ain't have no holes In the beginning miss pat and I didn't twist the taco But at uptown up by the time uptown came I did have a few little holes A few little holes because I had the Cadillac too. We was doing that was we was doing good That was one of the highs of the lows right there. We was Man before shit start tearing up blowing up breaking up Me and me and clayton had some fun in these goddamn streets. Now. I don't know what the fuck clay will do I didn't mean to include you with none of this bullshit. I know I'm a family man I know But miss my father at some point. She's gonna remember father. I I watched Daniel Tiger Paw Patrol Whatever the fuck the kids He ain't no paw patrol yet. Shit me whatever noise make him be quiet. Oh, I put that shit on man I put that shit on how old is the baby? It's nigga been listening to pooch. I used to he keeps saying Hey man, who the fuck you pooch icing? A new rapper A new rapper He ain't dead Yeah, you got he ain't dead You didn't really get a rapper He ain't dead He ain't dead You got the new he ain't dead He still ain't dead, that's the name of the album Especially if the nigga doesn't survive twice. He ain't dead two times when you throw that two times No, he ain't two times Nigga the mixtape nigga Wrapping from the hospital nigga Wrapping from the hospital you need The EKG machine That's that's how the song come on the EKG machine Nigga I survive Kill me because you know, you don't have a hit until he can't kill They need to get killed to have a hit. Yeah, that's cold. That's the fucked up part. I know You came back concert tickety nigga. You have to go to their funeral to enjoy them That's what I was thinking about really like at what point when when it's gonna like become cool to not be from the hood Like it's the next generation of rappers. Just gonna be well to do from nice No It is though. These niggas move All these niggas move, bro But you gotta have a tough demeanor because you can't be no rapper like that light skin boy You got back there with them braids. Yes, you can't. No, anybody buy that. That's what most of the niggas look like Little nigga over there. Oh, anybody gonna buy his album. Shit. That's mean They're talking up job fucking up for us Have a crossing leg like a school teacher That's This shit gonna blow up on the internet. Yeah for him what you got? You got uh, what you got Drake I don't know I just I don't know bro. You get to talk about you gotta be tough to be a rapper Nobody won't hear that none that boo. She's gonna be no not no more These niggas is dancing. You guys are smart. You gotta be smart to be able to convince people that all you can just dance These niggas be dancing. They got that song Rap or dance? More than anybody. Oh my god soon, too They nigga love to try to sing What a fuck up Word is Them niggas will stretch you out to 15 seconds New rappers we talking about guys because I don't remember these niggas. Do you see it's a new generation of rappers and What rapper is saying? I shoot that bitch is hotter. Ooh for 15 minutes Oh, you just named about 30. Don't say nobody named. Did he say? Don't say nobody's dance or what Fetty Wap is doing Because it's not just one person. This nigga said Fetty Wap. He said don't say nobody name It don't say nobody name. Fetty Wap was singing like him and still he had a trap queen nigga But for some reason I just wanted to see that nigga win Who Fetty Wap? Yeah, just something about that nigga. I wanted him to win and he did He won? Lil one gone. Lil was fucking shit. Well, you I mean, I wanted to see him win, too. I did. Hey man, welcome back to the 85th Sopter Yes, indeed We have a very, very fabulous guest amongst us today Yeah, we have some comedic royalties ATL comedy royalties beyond that, you know And clueless country. She been knowing us for a long time because she talking about the shit we used to do We ain't living like that no more Got a new show out on B.E.T. Plus She been popping up on Man all the podcast from Joe Rogan to On there with Tom on two bears with one cave and shit Everybody loves her. I feel her every time Her story is an impeccable story man. It's one of the great Atlanta success stories actress Uh radio host Show creator what you EP? Uh-huh. I'm saying creator. She a writer. Creator, EP. Writer. Writer. Yeah, that's true. She got a lot of shit. I know how it goes She does it all. I know how it goes man. You've been asking. We finally got Miss Pat in the trap That's right Right happening today Because now the holy trinity is complete. You don't even know what that means, dude Me, Miss Pat and Marvin Gaye got the same birthday The same birthday When is that? April 7th? Okay, that's right. Okay. We gotta get one guy. You a fool. All mode I waited. That's how this how far I took shit. Yeah, I was like Stick foot out put it back in Stupid, that's stupid. Miss Pat, welcome to the trap Miss Pat, 8-5 self-show. This show. Long time since I've been to a trap, but I'm gonna get serious We're just trapping jokes out of here. We ain't selling no candy. I'm not calling it illegal Control substance isn't that? That's why I'm here because it was control substance. I wouldn't be here I know. I seen you came through here and did a sweep first Before you came in. She kicks the people out. What the other doing? Ain't no other doing Nah Don't want to go back to jail. That's all Back That's what the pass pass though. Yeah, well, this don't know what she's gonna go back. So I'll be trying to keep it You ain't gonna hold spot now You can back most of the charges you be doing You can pull us into the trap I ain't gonna do no motherfucking charge so it ain't gonna buy nothing You protected you got a whole show. They ain't about to let you go to jail. They're gonna come out for you I hope so. Oh, they will. I hope I hope my white fans come get me. I call them my crack babies I love it. That's what I call my fan base my crack babies. They love it. They fucking love it I think I got to open up my fan base. I think my white fans been feeling alienated Feeling what? Feeling alienated. Why? Because I didn't it's not a white community of my fans It's just all my white fans don't have no white friends. So they don't even really count as white people do that Uh, yeah, but I'm saying like they not the typical white folks The ones I've been noticing in my shows like they have they them thugged out. Yeah, they them I call them, uh um white niggas That that's what they call white niggas You be only with the terminology Yeah, shout out to the crack babies. Yeah, and the real ones too because I don't know what the fuck happened to them Well, well mines ain't smoke. No crack You don't know You probably fucking right, but I don't think they smoke crack, but since I was a drug deal I named them my crack babies Oh, I like but you know white people dude. I'll try anything once I listen to your audio book Did you yeah the whole thing was you high rabbit? Yes Because it was it's the type of shit you get how you want to hear because it's just like Sitting in on the porch in the hood Listening to how the hood was before you was in the hood. Yeah, it's dope You just you just came from a whole family of hustlers and shit granddad had the money stitched in the pants Yeah, I see I know That shit is you But for the people who might not have um got to check the book out like let them know your story How you came up in this in this game even before the comedy shit because it's very interesting Well, I grew up in the west end. Okay, that's what it's Yeah West end and um That's why he's a trafficker. Okay. Well crack. I used to sell crack down on fast street You had to cook it yourself I learned how to cook it myself the crack has taught me how to cook it Crack has taught me how to do I had a I had a partner uh childhood friend that I partnered with for a while when it was like at the boom and crack first hit the black community And uh, man, we was selling so much shit and he learned how to cook it So he taught me how to cook it because it's it's just a little cheaper when you buy it in a powder form It costs a little bit more when you buy it already cooked So you save a little money when you can cook it yourself plus you can step on it a couple times back in those days Step on to me you can stretch it you can add a little something to it and make a little more drip You know what all ain't no more we in tv and film and production and shit. Yeah So give us a taste of what it looks like. Not to call. I thought you were talking about the crack. Don't give me no no no, I don't want to taste it I don't want to taste crack either. I mean what it tastes like You addicted I used to cut crack and uh when I used to cut a lot of it like a key or a half a key or something You won't wait a minute. You've had that much crack I had a lot of them But I used to cut it and as I cut it I would be eating like fast food And that shit fucked my muscles up in my lip. So for years I used to do that And people thought what the fuck wrong with your mouth? But my my lip stayed numb all the fucking time because I had I had eaten so much uh crack So you was chopping and just eating? With the crack on Well, I was young 15 16 17. I was bugged as well That's how strong that shit was just the rest. Did you even feel it? Did you even realize you was getting? I realized it later on when I I couldn't stop moving my lip. It was just All the fucking time like a fucking rabbit. So but eventually this my money came back right over the years Hey, but you put it together you was like, wait a minute What the fuck I'm we came from eating crack. Damn Miss Paddle fucking key. That's a lot a lot of niggas didn't even make it all the way up to a key Yeah, I used to a lot. I used to travel a lot Shit Not a partner. Okay. Just so like just like two y'all. Who's just two of us? We sell fast free bottle they don't change all that shit now you celebrate down front of my daughter's school Uh, you're making this john's elementary. I wish I had a partner to sell a key of crack with I'll be celebrating like I don't just the two of us We can make it if we try Just if you act like that back in the nineties you go in jail That's why I'm in the trap Yeah, thank god park has seen the falls. I'm glad I wasn't around. That's that's a lot of you didn't sell drugs What did you do illegal? nothing How the fuck would I tell you what I did? Come on, Miss Paddle. I ain't no better than that. I ain't do shit. She told all her shit Did you sell drugs Clayton? I attempted a few times What happened you got locked up on the first try? No, you got said gave it all away. No, that shit was just these my fuckers was worse The fuck you mean you got proud of the sale It's worse, bro. That's worse. What are they knocking on door at three o'clock? They worse them, bro Yeah Hey, man, leave me the fuck alone How the fucking drug dealer are you niggas? Not like that. I was in my mom's house That's too stressful I can't do too much stress more folks like man, you can me. I'm not meeting you man. Why the fuck you were not earlier when I was No, she was bad and then I tried I had the prescription and I tried to sell some prescriptions That's that new shit. I ain't do that. I had I had prescription for some code in you still in your mama pain medication for her for her menopause and shit No, it was code in coding. Yeah Nigga nigga back home sipping on some scissors. Oh, no, I didn't do that. I stopped that crack Well, I mean that's they called on me. I tried to fill the prescriptions back and back too fast Like I had three prescriptions. Wait a minute. You were fucking with the real pharmacist for the for the Amen. I'll talk about all this time. No, no, it was it was it was it was somebody got sick He was not a drug dealer. You just try to hand the pharmaceutical. He was trying to finesse them man They called the tow but they called the tow my mama Because I ain't messing nigga down here trying to do this other thing He was not a drug dealer. He was a fucking drug dealer. I said I was Yeah, I said I was trying to refill some of my prescriptions. You said did you try to say your drugs? Ain't that what you say? Nigga, you're about to get locked up on medicaid for all three Refill somebody motherfucking prescription too soon, isn't it? No, I ain't no I ain't no I got the first two. I got the first two that third one though I ain't never get to do that type of shit. Nothing Everybody don't shit they back ground. That's all right. I ain't sell crack. I ain't never sell no crack Because my time from a small town and like all them jobs was filled already Oh, they were by the time I went outside they had all the drug dealers like filled It wouldn't let no new All right What about you? See my uncle was some of the biggest drug dealers around my city, so I ain't never I ain't never get No, I like that I did it because I had to cut your boy miss pat. I worked for everything I had You got when I was the young boy I started me a lawn service and I spent all my time out there couldn't grasp like forest gump And I saved up all my money and I got out of there So all I did miss pat ran around like forest gump play a few sports Got a little grass smoke a little grass got a little ass gave you some gas and kiss my ass You full of shit Okay Man, it was just one from I recognized Where you from a trap oxford, Mississippi And then a whole lot of options before a nigga. So he's like you either gonna do great shit or the wrong shit But I bet your mother before she wasn't gonna play that shit anyway Exactly. So it's like you they let you do like you get a chance It's like all right, you're gonna do all the wrong shit. They just give you a minute to just be wrong as fuck So when they lock your ass up everybody gonna be like told you How you gonna sell drugs if everybody know you sell drugs in the whole city? That's the purpose of selling drugs This city Don't know how to commit a crime. Do you want everybody to know who you are? That's what you supposed to know But you're gonna go to jerry gardens, but how you gonna get clients don't nobody know you got the shit I thought you were supposed to I thought you were supposed to like blend in like you look like a crack head too But you sell it to the crack heads like and you just scan them in the coli But i'm just saying you made it They think you smoke in the shit and you the big though Dilla You good. This is like niggas. They're looking at everybody. They're like, okay. All these people work over here You the only drug dealer you're going You're not the only drug. There's a lot of fucking drug dealers. It was and that's what i'm telling you That's how small my town was it was one drug deal at a time They had On this side of town and the other drugs were on this side of town They didn't even keep the weed in the crack in the same crack house They usually don't i'm just saying the weed man was a couple of those down from the crack This shit was on the whole other side of town Oh Oxford Mississippi had it backwards. Oxford Mississippi had it right. You are fucking up my wig with that goddamn weed Put the weed out. This pad has wig on It looks nice Little nice. I thought that was you. I didn't know you know, i only going around accusing people of wearing wigs That's shit to get you fucked up. I know you got more weed. I got a lot of weeds I know That's like a fitted cap. Don't even act like that. Fuck you She chuck it after one way and shit I would take it off like a fitted cap, baby. I'll take it off like a fitted cap I only think I look like you when I come out this motherfucker. Maybe you call him This my what? party weed Some day some day, but i'm about to smoke. I'm about to watch this motherfucker. We're gonna have weed in a day We're gonna have witch on some Febreze or something You've just Febreze that month for a long time. What kind of bitches you been fucking at Febreze they whizz, call him Bitches is Febreze in their life Who's this whole house? I know Febreze when I smell it Who the fuck is Febreze now? You don't stop accusing me of being associated with a bunch of miscellaneous bitches and things like that Okay, Carlos. You change your life. I understand. Yeah You married. Mm-hmm You playing on it. Why would I play some shit like that? You married and you don't even like this shit Who the fuck told you that shit next month? Exactly stop accusing me of shit You shut your mouth. My husband watched this shit Okay, he go ahead. Uh-oh. So you don't like this shit. I love this shit. Okay. I got good health care I'm 50 years old. You're trying to get a bitch put off a good No, I wouldn't dare get you put off your good health care, but it's just marriage. Just don't just don't seem to appeal in these days It's all right. You married See, nobody won't do that shit. Well, I'm a lot older than you guys. So I know what I'm saying But I don't know. I think that'd be married a long time. We want to hit our goals Like you hit your goals with in a marriage, right? Yeah Yeah, I got it. Yeah, y'all can share that y'all achieved that together. I did too much shit by myself That you don't want to hear. Yeah She wasn't with me shooting in the gym Didn't even know I was in the gym So you don't want to share Share what? Who was shared no singer. I don't want to be the only one with some shit Who to share who you see you share I mean, I'm just asking. I don't know. You seen how ugly divorce proceedings are Uh, you can get a bitch to sign a prenup. No, okay That should work I don't know. I don't have a prenup. You depend on your state Man, I'm telling you because they got them people like did you sign a prenup call us right now so we can get you out of Thank you. Really? Yeah, they'll go in there. We're like, oh, I wasn't in the right state of mind He manipulated me. I didn't know what I was saying and the judge be like, you sure And they'll start all over. It's like that shit never happened Dr. Drake just had to get it laid out that money. She ain't made now be Uh, but she laid on her back Pussy ain't free. It cost to clean it out. She Well That's some hell of a shit to know right now. That ain't the cost That ain't the cost What can pussy do for you it ain't However much dr. Drake ain't it ain't when you've been you don't think you should share when you've been married to a person a long time Did they help you? Did they help you? Of course sure. She did they married over 15 years What she helped with if she if he was rich though, when he gotta decorate in the house Taking care of the kids and they got real paying the bedroom During the laundry that shit take us a smart person to do you think she was doing that Oh, she paid somebody else to do it, but she set up the appointments. No, she spent all her pussy money Any woman who's gonna take half a nigga money, okay, that's it cool when it happened to me to a nigga Listen niggas started leaving with half of y'all shit. They do leave for half of all shit. That's what I'm married talking about women Oh, what man doesn't know what a nigga just started asking for pet of shit in the divorce. I want eight of them wigs Yeah, goddamn, I want to say we should get his nigga eight bad weeds Yeah, he get the pig which 80 won't my client. Can you take wigs, but she gets the pig? That's what the lawyer's saying. No deal. You want your pick? No deal. No deal. Chris. No deal Your client is out of his fucking mind. Okay. My client wants free range to pick whatever he wants Then we got to kill the niggas And then he can't get the raw hell He's one of them good to his new bitch. Exactly. He's gonna know he know the resell on them. No, we're gonna have to kill that nigga Damn Killing me. I mean you want eight raw wigs. That's a lot of money Exactly. You ain't sold now one of the motherfucking weeks. Now you see how it feels How much is that I was gonna add something different, but how much is that? Uh, what five six a thousand dollars a piece probably. Okay. Yeah hit away hurt I mean go out there and make it count. I mean they paying me is that when you've been in a relationship a long time They're actually paying me is that it's not worth the miss pass the marriage none of that shit What lady got who's paying? They don't have to give her husband a lot of money. It costs too much to be fucking these people That's what I'm saying. What did you say it costs too much when you're fucking like that When you marry somebody and then you got to give them some shit for them to leave Just leave. You don't want me no more. What the fuck you want my shit for Well, all right, give me that. No Fuck me and this shit marriage you had to pay That's why she made this How you feeling man? I'm fine. Okay. The judge didn't even look up on you saying to pay it worth it It's Barry J. Blige. She's strong. She's not gonna cry Miss blige when you're still working as a lover in the secretary Not the love in the secretary you said you're a secretary You can afford it Mr. J. Blige, how are you doing so you're an R. B. Singer and a secretary I cried too a nigga took half of my money the whole head Um, the whole head I cried on taxes damn it Half half half half half that's 50 percent. It ain't nobody if he wrote him you his wife He was with you. He laid dick while you was writing so having them jokes is his miss pat I don't remember no big everything is half I don't remember no dick color. Okay. I don't remember Y'all got kids with some old shit my kid grown. It's what he having kid back. I don't like this This pat these divorce procedures ain't gonna get out of hand. I'm telling him He can add them up for the red old man. It's gonna take a nigga like me to get a divorce to be in there Ask him for some shit and nobody else. I want one of them tits I want one of the shit one of them tits is mine. We splitting everything else I got a friend who's getting a divorce. I can't say her name. What is this nigga? He asked for them tits back. No, he asked for their daughter car back. He bought home when she graduated from college Because the cause of daughter like the mama on the mama side. So he said well in the divorce procedure I want my car back for my daughter. I'm like, nigga, you need a divorce in the daughter Ask for everything. That's what she get. He wanted shit. That's what she get. He got petty. That's what that's all he got No, so I'm asking for some shit that they ain't seen for a long time He asked for everything in the store shit and they ain't been to store shit Exactly ain't no telling what's in there. I want my motherfucking uh track suit that I won at the 96 olympic I'm shooting about all I had. The only one got the top and the bottom. It's large and it's rare And they going passing on all the peace. I want that back It's probably in their store. As a matter of fact, I want the whole store. I tell them every day you need it What if he opened the age number of her shit? She been through that nigga shit. Yeah, it's all her shit in there Well, I guess he'll get him some weeds just a bunch of pictures of her with the new nigga from a long time ago. She been fucking with her Well, I guess he'll get him some weeds Right Like I can say this is about 16k maybe a quick 16 Shit that hurt that make it hurt even more even more. Just having to come up with that money Because you gotta get it back because you're starting to want no more Marriages like this you can I mean it's just money. You can make that money back For that for that peace of mind. No, it ain't. Look how long it took you You can make that you selfish. You can just make the fucking money back if it's gonna give you a piece of mind That's what they say No, Quincy Jones said that shit. See y'all trying to do the right thing Well, what you're gonna do if you marry the bitch she asked for half I'm gonna be a white man when I go to court. What you gonna do? I'm gonna hire the motherfuckers. We're gonna take this bitch to court and we're gonna maul her like a tiger That is not what white means do yes the fuck they do She's gonna be able to get a fucking macy's car Be able to check out books from the public fucking library We're going all the way back to 87 You got all your paperwork, right? So I've had a private I want you to tell you some stupid shit star saying at the motel six Even if you don't stay there get a fucking room and keep your receipts. We're gonna bleed this bitch for everything That's the lawyer I'm hired I'm hiring a little geek lawyer. He got the little vest with the comb over They were telling me to come to court. Yes, I'm sorry. I'm late your honor I was just going over some paperwork with my client. I think you'll find it very interesting You want the lawyer you want that lawyer? The nigga that takes you too far that's the nigga you're gonna lose the panic nigga. He's like he's getting divorced We want the cat and the puppies No, that's the lawyer that can get the private investigator Hey, man, how much this divorce is gonna cost me if you give me two of those puppies. They'll call it even You've had a private I follow your daughter around. I didn't ask for that The fuck is you doing? Snaps the pictures of her at the park What are you doing? So I was at your daughter's school today. She's on the wife's side. What the fuck? Ain't cropped a fucking wife in it and the crew's the wife is sleeping with the pool boy Hey, did you know your mother-in-law bought a house in florida? Okay, so I just set her house on fire. All right. I'm coming to pick you up. What the fuck is wrong with you? So the lawyer you don't turn out to be the crazy one? Yes, exactly. He obsessed. He hired somebody. See, we can pitch shows all day We pitch it to a show creator now. You see you are That's you I'm not here for no fucking. I'm not by Tell me about your show there I told you the shit wasn't gonna work. No, I told you not to do it. Yeah, I think it's confusing me. I'm like I told you you needed a desk. It was a good idea. It sounded real good. I liked the lawyer You liked it. I didn't like that bullshit. He was talking about but I liked the lawyer God damn it. I started coming by myself for this piss meeting anyway, see That's why we told him 8 30 Now what is how is it uh, you know bringing your show to life? You just waited all this time to bring it out It took well, I didn't wait all this time. They waited all that time. You didn't make the shit sound good It ain't no good. It's hard work behind this shit. You know that shit. We started around the same time. Um Went through three networks three writers and finally got the shit together It was it was not ease a bunch of nose and a bunch of Mother, you know the thing in hollywood is you try to keep you try to I tried to keep my voice And that was the hardest thing because they would take you to me and they They were clowning your ass up if you let them and I told them I remember telling them inside of of um When we was pitching one time, I said one thing we're not gonna do. I'm not that fat girl They're gonna take pies to the face. You're not gonna hit me my face with no pie. I'm not gonna follow Over no sofa. I'm not that active like that. I need to be a mama like I am today Ain't no slapstick I don't dance on hop on scott on do nothing that bullshit And just to keep my voice original. It was really hard because we almost shot this shit Two years ago for fox They're about three years ago for fox and I was like I pulled a plug. I was like I can't get on tv like this Then niggas ain't gonna never forgive me What they had you doing they had you doing all the flips and No, they just had it just didn't seem it didn't wasn't real. It was watered down It wasn't it wasn't good at all to me. So I was like, uh, we ain't gonna make do this And everybody's like you you're gonna fucking pull out on fox. I said, look you can't never give me more money than I can steal so Miss pat wait a minute. That is the most brilliant shit So when you nobody can never give you the more money that you can steal that I don't have to suck dick for money So, I mean I'm old, you know, I got vertigo. So I can't suck dick anyway because it makes me dizzy So I decided to just wait Why you looking around like you looking around for something because you didn't fucking lost me Vertigo it makes you dizzy. So if you're trying to suck a dick the dick is waving back and forth You can't catch a hold to it You never had vertigo Vertigo makes you spin around in a circle. So I stopped sucking dick when I got vertigo You think that's what caused it? I just know I can't concentrate So it is just that's just off the table not even if you like laid sad ways You got vertigo. It's not good to hold your head down. Carlos. I'm saying like say you was laying like from the sad You just laying like you was already laying down I don't think nobody do it like that. Carlos Where's the wheel? There's a way Well, how about we don't want no wheel on the way? I think you're just using this as an excuse I get dizzy. I get dizzy when you guys think, well, well I guess you're gonna get dizzy You might take a second in a circle. You're gonna have to move the ground the whole time Well Just walk back to the ground She got vertigo Hand me a bitch on the ceiling fan and just throw the dick in there It was not easy bringing her like it took five fucking years some hard work, but we we're here That's what's up They told us it wasn't gonna work. Really? Like a motherfucker This shit working like gangbusters You fished this to a TV You'd be surprised how many motherfuckers was bullshitting when we were trying to tell them what it was I was like, nigga, I can't tell you just got to see the shit and they was like I'll tell you what don't sign anything. I'll talk to you Ain't seen them I wish the fuck I wouldn't took that advice man But I mean the good part I'll be somewhere saying and pity fucking thoughts Just a joke for the road Coming right up hold on let me get into my man I've ridden over 13,000 jokes. You know that right? What you want love sex spirituality But the gamma is you gambled on yourself and you started this shit And I mean that's one of the reasons why I started my podcast too Because I figured it's always good as a comic for us to have our own shit that we can own You know, I typically people all the time. I said that is not my tv show. It got my name on it I get paid from it But at the end of the day is their fucking response. That's their show They can cut that motherfucker off tv anytime they want to but you can't you can't fuck with my stand-up You can't fuck with my podcast because that's the shit I own So that's the shit I invest the most in you Because when they come back and take their shit back, I can still eat. I saw it happen firsthand I was right there. They were like, well I mean, we ain't got no job no more Take the shit out there Somebody got mad over some shit that was said. Oh, yes Take what off air? I mean the whole air tv show. You know what? I mean, I was the show I was working on What was the name of it? I'm serious nigga. I don't watch tv. I watch the handmade tail. I like to see white clips get cut off What's that's what that show about What the bitches was made? Oh, fuck. Yeah. Now my kids watch that shit. You didn't get miss pet hat. Oh, yeah, I think he had She got vertigo. I don't know what's I don't know what's going on. Yeah, you say the wrong thing. They take the whole shit out So and that's why it's good to own you. Exactly. Yeah You can't fuck with hollywood like that. They only want you when somebody else bust you open The fucked up part about if I've known it for 20 years, he had like everything come out my mouth He's shocking to him. Fuck is wrong with you. Carlos. God damn. We did open mic together. Mm-hmm The motherfuckers the hollywood sitting back watching this shit air friday like They're uh, yeah, they just don't know Well, apparently they like weed we're gonna weed these things to death Well, I don't like weed because I don't smoke it. I'm gonna just take it in so I can have appetites when I need it I forgot I lit it up. I put it out Out of respect. I forgot Try to respect wigs and ladies whoever what you see them. She's was a thousand dollars, you know Watch where you dump in your ashes A thousand dollar wig, but you fucking around to smoke around there. They missed beating coffee The week the wig Thousand dollars have been still alive. You don't buy your girl a thousand dollar weeks. Oh, I know You don't know you do but you do know the fuck I didn't I know if I buy some thousand other shit, miss bad Do you get a hair fix? Excuse me? Who broke her hair? Why I need to be fixed who broke it? That's what she want to do whatever Type of nigga if that's what she want to do, I know I've seen you in action Don't be playing me action like that bad no thousand dollars worth of weed Well, I'm hoping that you do some shit like that I see the I don't see the type of women. I like don't even want no thousand dollars worth of weed I'm talking about weed. I'm talking about just my girl. Don't leave. She she probably stopped but she got hair. See she's got hair She got to be white Don't be on here accusing him of no slanderous She's like that On this platform No, no, I'm saying that's the reason why she doesn't money on Go get yourself together That's not no thousand dollars right. She said I need a thousand dollars to get my hair together I'm gonna have to go watch this get done Right here He said she had hair I just put on a fucking weed. I know but if the weed thousand dollars, we're gonna have to work with what you got is what I'm saying You don't need no thousand dollars worth of shit Get a ponytail. How much the point is cause 350 get you a point I'm talking about if the we're getting thousand dollars, you better get it in pieces doing that shit Why you got some of my fucking rent ain't a thousand dollars. What the fuck she need Everybody running a little in a thousand dollars nothing to do Even even though motherfucking hill street that the rent is a thousand. I mean more than a thousand dollars. Oh, yeah You got them past that shouldn't be costing no What you gonna live at for less than a thousand dollars and I don't know what the fuck is you going that you need a thousand dollars weed To 85,000 Shit you where ball capping this bitch Don't nobody give a fuck with what you I'm Do you think I give a fuck about them Man these niggas don't stimulate me like that We best out there. Oh, you don't like that nigga. Look at your brain. What the fuck? No, too much of the ball here, bitch You're a fucking auntie. That's who she is Don't you ever disrespect us? Don't you ever call up and talk about claim like that again? No, ain't nothing wrong with with you know Reasonable shit. You got to take care of your lady. You wanted to look her best Yeah, yeah, go get that shit done Some of us might you know that shit is extreme. They might need it, you know A little extra care sometimes it ain't even just about the half Just need a new outfit. You got a thousand dollar weed going. You need to be bringing 10,000 home No, you don't. Yes, you do. Yes, you do So you do of course laying around talking shit and get thousand dollars It's price ranges you You wouldn't get your price for it. You got your only fan page. You're coming here and you're out. What the fuck is that? You think you got here fucking for free anyway? Fucks for free. A lot of it They ain't only fans. That's for only fans. I'm not a fan. That's not fucking on that. They're just planning themselves. Well, that's fine. You're playing your whole self They get money out there, too I know I know one of them to buy me a truck They don't hear bragging about all this money they got ain't spending nothing on the niggas I don't know it do means have only fans I'm sure they do somebody gotta fuck these one You can't what yeah, they need only fans niggas to fuck the only fans women in the only fans videos You ain't gotta fuck to be all the fans You can get on that bitch and read erotic fiction That's what I do And just listen to Really? I'm gonna do that shit For now that word again, you said erotic That's that's erotic That's even that's even nasty. Yes. I'm erotic I'm doing in my manner What is the word again erotic erotic You put an H on it. That's yours now. Okay. Hope what it was supposed to be erotic But don't keep the H on it. Keep the shit with the H. Keep the shit you saying Because you done brought hooves to the table they could be horridic niggas would be looking because niggas gonna be looking for erotic But they're gonna see her erotic. They're gonna be like, oh, so do you say what do you say erotic booty hole in different colors? You can't say that I don't know if that's a cold word that you know you say to a freak and she get nasty immediately What is it? Erotic booty holes in different colors than her eyes roll in her head That sounds like one of them porn movies that we're trying to sell on the cable page erotic booty holes for what the fuck? When did three of them come out? That shit come on camera 99 Yeah I don't watch too much. I don't watch porn. I like the shit when I was too young to be watching porn I like the ghetto as porn Like you talking about the only fan shit it just be like just a hood bitch who work at heart is just In the car playing with a tit on a lunch break With the dirty uniform on with that's down. You can't see none of that all that nigga that hardest people got this shit all up here That I see a name tag. I like the hood shit You'd like to see hood bitch regular hood. I don't like porn. I do I don't want to meet jesus with that With porn? Yeah, you know, they say everything you do. He's gonna wipe it back at you and show you what you did You know, he saw it. He saw who did it. I was just watching You were there when they typed it jesus I'm the only one that don't make my love But why be watching it again? I tell you that's the main thing God ain't betting like that You ain't gonna live here and just say that my nigga you ain't gonna embarrass me when I sit up here Watch me jack my dick All the fucking footage man you wild boy You sure you ain't the devil y'all definitely like it because this is hell I gotta sit here with my savior and my dick out Just a man just send me down there bro with the elevator This man is near you and him All of a sudden you hear jesus voice Man When he died he left one on paul This is a hearty bitch playing with a nipper in the parking lot Jesus Everything else and then jesus just like hey man, we gotta talk about this Right all this other shit. I don't like it. Don't do anything for me. You got vertigo, but you you I also had kids in elementary school. So that probably fucked me up there, too Except make great First baby at 14 I don't know that when how long you went to school all the way. No, I had another baby a grade I dropped out Yeah, and then you had to go find out how to feed these babies and shit Yeah, so you can't yeah me I didn't have a lunch card for all of us So I had to let my lunch go and go home and feed them You don't hear blaming me for shit What you mean blaming you for shit you said I had to hold you He was I only had one baby daddy at the time. Oh, I was 14 15 when I had him I want your finger fucking brought in And 15 I started having some real sex 15. Yeah, I don't I didn't know what finger was. Oh, I had like I was good at that shit. I was I still bus ride You figure people on the bus Yeah, that little kid she had no finger around the world people need to know this I thought you want to hold no, I'm just saying I've been around the world my finger around the world It's not like I've been around the world too fingering. I do so happy. Oh That's boy When in Rome got to do what the Romans is doing Is that what they're doing if you introduce it to them Oh We in here talking shit with miss pat today, don't you ever forget it Bt plus Make sure you download the app and go watch miss pat new show. Don't show your fucking password black people. It's only 999 Damn, we they can't handle it over there. I need you. I need everybody log on individually, right? Yeah, don't don't don't shake that shit. Let's blow it up. Yeah. Make it the number one show. No, I don't have it yet Fuck you wait now. I gotta get it nigga. I watched you on the last company standing every episode Yeah, but mine was free. You beat me mine was free I don't give a fuck. I was there for you. I'm gonna watch it though It just it went into come out last week. Okay. The first week is everything Okay, well, I'm gonna watch it this week. I'm going home getting bt plus. Yeah, put the baby in the closet and watch the show Not this baby You don't want him hollering you're gonna miss some fucking jokes and the baby gets a house I'm just gonna put that bitch on and I'm gonna run it while he's up Highland and then I'm gonna put him down and I'm gonna run it again That way it's running. Okay, you know what I'm saying? I'm assuming shit works my cable fucked up My god cable, but it's fucked up right now your phone callos I mean, I got the app. We got you. Yeah, we got you. Watch it. Well, they slow about doing it fans y'all going down Because this is gonna be after the that anyway, so by the time they see this We'll have seen it All right, and I'm gonna talk about it But we see we should this in the future so we in the future right now So I could tell them how great it was because that shit was motherfucker Miss pat did some shit on that bitch that I ain't really seen been done I'm really enjoying the clip the stand-up With the actual show and she really get to be herself up in there But I'm saying she's gonna Miss pat will really say fucked them kids. Yeah, and she's taking it there. Yeah And a lot of this was pulled from miss pat real life stand up Exactly. Well real life too because you said the daughter was uh, she's gay. Yeah And she don't know about America. I love the gladi women. They do. They love her. Exactly You about to take over you about to goddamn You got to be America's new mama But this shit is amazing because we'd have seen it now because this is by the time it's come out. We have seen it You ain't never did it for our kids in the future No, I never did it that fun in the future. You got me confused Yeah, this shit probably number one. Why we talking about it? Like we probably know by the time this hit by the time It dropped we gonna go ahead and claim it season two. They gonna go here. I need season to Two of five season deal Come on, man. The fuck is wrong with y'all. Let's go. I can pull something my Atlanta comedian friends on there with me I'll be on that. I'm gonna call you this season. You should have Well, who should happen and we couldn't fit you in but I was very close to calling I will call you this season. I need you. I'm gonna have you picking up a fat bitch running down the street with her You think I won't do it? Strongest fucking this bad. Okay. I got you. I got you. Just keep it reasonable. What you mean? Keep it reasonable 175 keep it reasonable. How far you need? I Probably two blocks Shout out to all the big women. Why big women always ask if men like big women? I don't know why they like I don't know why they I don't know. I've never asked somebody they like me. Like you like big women trick me Are you talking about you? Yeah, they ask you do they always ask me that Well, some people don't like fat girls. Who don't like fat girls Clayton Know us you don't know us You know nothing you just keep going Yeah, you just throwing shit in my direction without knowing much Because if you know why women ask that It is my friend We are good niggas NBW women. So what do you say when the women ask you do you like fat girls? I don't do all that discrimination. I don't do all that You might see me Skinny girl What do you like big at that point do you even like women if you got a whole laundry list of shit you don't like Some people don't like certain things. I like titties. I don't like been with women who look like big women And they just got big titties and they be like And then you just hug the titties you be like the rest of you look but these titties I don't like I don't like small dudes real skinny dudes. I used to back in the day. I don't anymore They hurt my inner thighs You know, so I prefer somebody who can bounce back off my thighs Because a little nigga beat you up like a victim So I want me a fat dude who you know two three pumps and we go to sleep at the same time Just bouncing out. Yeah, I don't need but I don't need nobody going to ask me to get on top You know, I don't need all of that action And then people got to understand that it's okay to have preferences. Yeah, it's okay Like I don't I don't like women with little asses Because any I'm not about to argue with you. First of all, I'm not doing that You got a little ass booty. They're like, what are you yelling at me for? I didn't do you haven't enough You don't have no ass to talk to me like that. Why you don't like a lady with no ass Just you aggravate the fuck out of me. What if their titties are big but they don't have no ass? They can slap We know Slap titties on the list Right here. Come on in All right, it is All right What happened we ain't bad What do you like little booty women cool until you're around some women with some fat asses You don't even know you're missing fat ass till you see one. He'd be like Why is ass so important we black it's an idea name. I can't even answer that question, honestly Do you like fake asses? You ever had a fake ass? Yeah We do they move some of them do Is it weird? Not really it depends on the on the ass now not one of them answers that look like somebody just like took a suction ass and like sucked it on them They ass buckled in the front. Right. No, I'm not that Not the security belt ass I'm talking about some ass. They used to be stomach. They got moved around to some ass Yeah, it's different types of ass out there. Some of the ass can just come from elsewhere Right. Yeah, that's not but that ass is okay. I mean, it's not I prefer ass that she was in you Do you like a lady with a lot of plastic surgery? No I'm from Mississippi. We're gonna do all that Yeah, I mean, but you know, you you change color. No, I don't I'm not that I mean, you can get a different breed. You ain't gotta get them You don't have to get them bitches. You're fried chicken good anymore You're right Yeah, you are right because sometimes miss pat, they be so goddamn fine and be like, bitch, I find us some food You ain't gotta cook shit. Exactly So that's why I should do you like a lady with a lot of plastic surgery What the fuck they got to do with fried chicken? You leave them bitch. You can't do I don't I don't do the plastic the shut up to them But I'm much rather prefer some real shit. I'm a real nigga. So fruit scratch moths won't turn you off Fuck no, I got a few I Got more stretch marks than these hoes How long they got break? That nigga said he got a few I feel the shit Well nigga, coming through somebody's woman, you don't got some scar Glad to come on the side of your side of some shit I like how you try to keep shit a secret What you want? I mean this, man, what do you think about you, Carlos? That I'm hiding from you Nothing, I know a lot about you. I know more than you think I know Good We grew up together Believe it How old are you now? 38 That's all That's it Nigga, no I'm that much older than you Yep Wow No fucking clue No clue I've just been around for a long time Well, you've been doing it 16 years. I'm almost 20 How long you in it, uh, okay 16 Yeah, because y'all came right off the idea, right off the start Yeah, who's in it? Talking that shit But they never quit That's the hard part, isn't it? To this bullshit, not quitting Shit That you don't get to fighting? Did I? I had no comedy fights With no comedians I had a few I know, you had comedy fights On stage Off stage Frozen Palace, who the fuck didn't fight in Frozen Palace? Me I fought with Dirty South in the Frozen Palace Yep Y'all had a few fights then No, I just won Dirty South Word to Dirty South, man What was y'all fighting about? Dirty South, I don't know what wrong with Dirty South that night But that night I had on the dress And I usually don't wear dresses I kicked that bitch like a donkey I kicked that shit Oh, man She's like, you young bitch is one that beat me I think I'm like three, four years in comedy She, you know, she get off stage You know how she used to rip at Frozen Palace and shit That little nigga-ass crap And then I'm standing there with my friend Who just came back, I think he was in First year of military or college or some shit And I was like, come on, go up into the Frozen Palace They do open mics And Dirty South shot at all of us in that motherfucker Crampat, and she Ripped that motherfucker Yeah, so you remember how you said that little VIP right there in front of the stage And so you, I'm standing right there on those steps She walking me to, young bitch is like You want to beat me, but you can't I said, you ugly-ass bitch And I kicked that hole, I slipped my feet Out the motherfucking slides I had on And kicked that hole so hard Like a donkey, she went flying She said, bitch, you'll be fucking with me Back in the day I don't fight I ain't give a fuck, you know how I fight I had many motherfucking fights in this shit Oh, no Bro, you just, the Frozen Palace Was a very special place, man It was A lot going on I ain't had no comedy fights No, we had to beat nobody People get beat up before we would go on stage Yeah, Dirty South was hosting that time, too Who? Little dude Got his ass warped Big dude stood up and didn't stop standing up He made something to the dude in the front He was a comedian? He ain't no comedian, bro What's his name? I'll tell you You talking like y'all been suitin' around He might come out the woodwork And be like, you know I'm still fucked up But that nigga slapped me across the stage Yeah He slapped him across the stage Eight ball corner pocket Like on the cartoon Who the fuck was that? Hey man He was like, that nigga was standing up forever That nigga did not stop standing up Cause he was talking shit He was the smallest The dude in order to I know who that is I know who that is He been getting slapped a lot I know who that is The fucked up part is We been doing kind of rap a lot A year? Maybe a year The whole time the nigga getting beat up He never let the mic go So you heard every challenge Every kick We been holding the mic for a whole time Y'all been comedians Y'all been going out there helping fellow brothers First of all, we don't even know where we at This is like our second time Even coming to this bitch We on the whole other side of town We in the Westman Chapel You had scores this shit I remember my scores Man dirty south Hostin He let the mic go The mic to roll across She walked up and grabbed the mic Hold on hold on hold on You gotta remember what security did Before you tell that part You gotta tell them what security did What do you do? Security was the biggest shit That nigga would not get into the fight He was like, hey Hey Y'all gotta go outside with that fighting That nigga just like Made them go out I'm like, yo, what's up this nigga This nigga is He was around the niggas' necks And the nigga was just Welling on this nigga I used to love to see you fight that up But then what Dirty do This nigga roll out She grab it This nigga that you call I thought this nigga looked at me You know I had to go out and talk about the fight This nigga was like next I was like, nigga To get your ass walked Man one time I went and did a show With Dirty South on the west side I mean east side over there That little bit of that club Them heaters in it Remember my fucking just walk in It's like soon as you walk in it's a wall And then that's it, that's the whole club But they had them fucking Like them outside heaters in it Big gas heaters But she brought me on stage and left Where did she go? I don't fucking know They fucked around and gave her the money When the show started Dirty South left that motherfucker And then paid you She left, I got my money But she left And who was the next You had to finish the show? It was just me and she left I don't even know I'm thinking she coming back I didn't talk to these fuckers as long as I fucking could I was like, hey man I don't know what the fuck Dirty are you just going here then Have y'all ever gotten fucked out of your money? Hell yeah I've never been fucked out of my money One time Al Timmer tried to I fucked him So me and Steve Brown Went down and did a show for Al Timmer And I'm a hood bitch You ain't gonna take my motherfucking money To this theater like y'all always doing Oh Daph Timmer did jazz So you know the first joke a motherfucking learned When you first learn comedy You come on stage and you say This motherfucker lost tonight And I said that shit and he got so motherfucking mad at me And he held my money And I ran out there on his car Me Steve Brown I jumped on that nigga Caught in hell that windshield wiper We had on cell phone back there And you know Steve Brown got there So finally the police came And made that motherfucker go to the ATM And get my money because it's the work What he said was I'm gonna mail you your money I said nah nigga my husband they sent me out here For you to mail me my motherfucking money You gonna give me my money with your ugly ass Preach a suit on I'm about to whoop that nigga out But I had on to that windshield wiper He kept going around in the circle of the parking lot Steve Brown Oh wait when the car was moving Yeah I'm on the windshield wiper That's a lot of money back there And he said get the fuck out of my car I said nigga I'm gonna break your windshield Your wife I'm gonna beat your ass And all of that Oh Steve Brown said Can I get a hug out of that motherfucker Just screaming in the background Yeah no One time me and this nigga Was in St. Petersburg And littered there The whole club got to fighting I remember that spot wasn't that Hotel Man I don't know where that shit was But that shit was all cute man They had that shit together That shit was in like an old lounge or some shit I remember that spot The nigga paid us a hundred dollars when we got there Cause he knew you might not He knew he wanted to give us shit out And was trying to get us to do Y'all want a haircut, y'all want something to eat He was like nah man We want this show We see where this is going Yeah no it was Shit like that It was big cause we went all the way down I know he burned the oldest 500 dollars after the show So the whole club got to fighting You can get shit The host hosted long Then bring this nigga up And then Like it was like 1134 Bop Bottle broke and the whole club I'm talking about grown men Shoving bitches into Walls out the way I was like what the fuck And then buddy went and grabbed a goddamn The nigga who brought us down there The nigga came out with a big ass pistol We just standing there watching the host And the nigga was like Oh next Friday The nigga was like Nobody leave We like What the fuck y'all do Just doing that way Man we ducking We go to the door right The damn door locked They locked your niggas in there The whole club fighting Me and this nigga walk back to the door And this shit was packed So we looking for the other exit It ain't nowhere to go This bitch is fighting all the way down this hallway You know how you walk in the club It's like two separate but it's going to the sleep Man they fighting all the way down the wall The DJ fighting three bitches Oh the DJ The DJ Shoved somebody so hard The wall shoved And it was a brick wall I was like what was that They shooting both of us Man hell no I tell you I tell you a topic So you know when you first get started You really want to go on the road And you know I was doing my vending this shit Cat Williams was just about to pop You know you had heard his name And he had just shot that special But it didn't come out yet And I flew all the way to Carter Roder For a guest spot A guest spot Tyler Creer was like I'm going to give you a guest spot I ain't asking no promoter shit nigga I get up there to promote This bitch ain't going up I ain't tell you to bring this bitch with you I don't flew all the way to Carter Roder I never found out What the fuck I ain't kill Tyler Creer You don't make me fly all the way To Carter Roder for a guest spot I wanted to kill him I don't think I spoke to him for six months after that shit Man the craziest Tyler Creer Story I got is one time Me and Tyler was going to the comedy house Yep the comedy house And he said hey Lo You ain't got to drive nothing My man going to pick us up man He got the car service Fucking style man It's planned Just meet me at the McDonald's What's the age Way to fuck down 20 Where the McDonald's at It's way to fuck out there I forgot the name Way to fuck out there So I meet them at the McDonald's I pull up as early as fucking tomorrow We just sitting around waiting I go in there and give me some breakfast I come back out Just be here in a minute This nigga pulled up in a goddamn Square-body Lincoln Limbo Nigga Motherfucking diggin My ride been left He's like man it's good Man we straight Man we get up in this motherfucker This little limbo Nigga the sunroof Open the whole time Cause like when we left Y'all want me to open this sunroof Man the nigga kinda like Open the whole time Cause there ain't no way to close it Unless you stop I was like Tyler boy your head got me again No it was that hit So I just bought You remember when I used to have that black Trailblazer The trailblazer So I pick up me, Tyler and dirty Going on the show right So you know they always fucked around So you got to fight in my motherfucking car My car was a week old Dirty talking shit Lincoln she turned around She was eating a mac, a big mac She slapped Tyler with that big mac They were tucking that bitch's head And just war for the backs I said no I didn't want this car That nigga definitely broke my seat With her head He got out the car, tucked dirty head And smashed it in the door J. K. L. Smash Damn I think I threw that She said you doing that cause you want to fuck me And they went on staff They lived in about it all That bitch said you want to fuck me And they went on staff And I had big mac sauce All on my motherfucking car She slapped that nigga with a big mac That nigga took her head And slammed it in my dough I was like I can't believe this shit I don't fuck with you stupid nigga Rest in peace That's all I can think about when he died She slapped that nigga with that big mac The mac don't give a fuck How much sauce they put on that big mac That nigga she hit that motherfucker And slid across his whole face That nigga whooping her ass With all that special sauce on her face She said you doing it Cause you want to fuck me don't you Tyler And they went on staff And I had big mac sauce All on a roof nigga That motherfucking crackhead Dirty sounds like a wild woman That motherfucking That motherfucking craze That motherfucking was funny but that motherfucking was crazy Cause we became real good friends After I beat her up Bitch you ain't beat me I'm gonna say bitch you a high you don't remember I used to fight all the time Like when I moved from Indiana From Atlanta to Indiana I had to fight so many white comedians Crazy Nigga I don't play that shit I'm a hood bitch I had one white boy call me an ignorant black bitch I said now you an ignorant fat black bitch I said now I can take the ignorant But I can't do the fat You can't call me fat but for that thing That hurt my feelings I hit that nigga with my weak arm I left arm and I caught him with my right arm And I tore that cracker ass up in that comedy club He was like he told the manager Get him The man said she whooping your ass I beat that motherfucking I beat that motherfucking I said don't you call me fat bitch When you call me fat that shit trickle in my head Nigga all the times I didn't eat I'm this size for a reason cause I'm trying to I'm like a bad nigga I'm trying to not Never go home again You stupid I beat that motherfucking ass Nigga I'm happy nigga that all the time You gotta whoop their ass and do shit like that So he was whooping white comedians All the time when I moved to Indiana It was another white lady She was talking she was being racist To an uh uh Indian comedian And so I was like shut up bitch I'm screaming from the back of the club shut up bitch So she decided to come outside I'm standing outside on the phone she decided to come outside And you know put her hand in my face My dad is a Supreme Court just I said bitch You touched my nose I took that bitch I fingered I bit it all the way back I grabbed that whole bottle of hair Next thing you know I had that bitch slide around like a kite My friend He said put it down I said now all this bitch put her face Put her down Put her down this bitch I had one women in the shit out of that bitch I said watch this bitch don't you ever in your Motherfucking life put your hands on me again I'll kill you up in here Oh I'll fight motherfucker You had the nigga above your head Like the beginning of Fresh Prince So did I got to fight with a young nigga one time At Morty's How do you fight these white people at the white club Cause everybody I know to fight At white club they get banned From every white club That's cause they ain't selling no tickets Well I wasn't selling no tickets at the time Me either I don't know that was just my own club I got to fight in that open mic Oh so this at the same club? At the same club You was like defending your title Yeah I got to fight with this young boy You being real racist so I said put me up after this nigga Look white people this is the nigga you shoulda hung Right and he was like I'm GD bitch I'm just a nigga I'm a convicted felon you scared him you don't scare me And he was like I whooped your ass Come on I said many niggas have tried And a few have failed I said now hold on let me take My airport wig off so I took my wig off I said come on up in there He came up on that stay call on My mind all I saw was my first baby I had a nigga who shot me in the back I said kill him I hit that nigga so motherfucker hard And I took my bro My two titties on that nigga's shoulder I got him That's it Oh she's going for the titty twister I put my two titties on that nigga's shoulder And laid on top of that nigga like a bear I whooped his ass His mama made him write me a long facebook message Hey Clayton, can you imagine Miss Pat Wrapped him titties around you in the referee show I'm gonna have to do your arm He's out I used to fight all the time this shit I fought a few times I ain't give a fuck I fought LaVar I'm not gonna say everything Don't say everything Don't do a little bit Don't talk about a little bit That's my partner He coming back on the shoulder I hit that nigga LaVar with him See that he's one time I want to play with him He ran He said he knew about the He knew I was gonna beat his motherfucking ass I was gonna beat the pharmaceutical out of his ass Damn Miss Pat We friends now I talked to him all the time He never gonna whip his motherfucking ass He's about the only one I slept down here I didn't get a chance to slap him cause he ran He's like you ain't gonna catch me fat bitch He didn't know they made you faster I hit that motherfucker with them CDs He talk off But you have to fight in this shit It really was a fucking hard grind For all of us Especially me Cause nobody really wanted to fuck me You know what I'm saying Look what the fuck I'm gonna do with Double D He started This game can be hard if you ain't Don't nobody want to fuck you You gotta have some fucking ability in this game Nobody tried Only friends try to fuck me I don't know The big fat one The black one They died about 3-4 years ago Big wrong That's the only nigga who tried to fuck me You ain't got nowhere to stay Resident P in Big Role Damn it He was the only one that would tell me I was sexy And you look good cause he was in the thick girl But he ain't got no car and baby mama Putting him out here 2 weeks So I'm like who the fuck won't you be wrong But other than that nobody I ain't bringing that up We ain't bringing up no more fights They gonna get out of hand They still a whole bunch of them that she ain't even I know this is just the surface I put on what I had cause when I started I hung out with WD all the time So everybody thought I was fucking WD To take me on the road I mean who the fuck won't WD WD was fucking all the bitches He married never everybody He was a whore WD ever told y'all stories He's a pastor He's running for city council He's running for city council So me and WD used to go on the road all the time And WD I was staying in the room with WD Right cause I'm married I ain't give a fuck And we would have like separate beds I fall asleep WD in the room fucking the bitch in another bed I wake up condoms everywhere I said oh my god WD don't fuck me WD please tell me you didn't fuck me while I was sleeping All I woke up to were condoms Like 3-4 condoms on the floor Drink cans and shit And I was like what the fuck happened last night And you know I'm feeling my pussy Smell like extra fish But he had another girl He brought her in the room and fuck I told her I fed you And you weren't gonna wake up It's coming again Preacher man had No right across the street Crow's nest No not the crow's nest I could not think of the name of it Right across the street from 12th The old nigga used to go over there Preacher man used to hold that one I can't think of the name I thought it was the piano bar 20 grand 20 grand He back there fucking the bitch on the trash can He gon' tell my son come over here and get you some pussy My son ain't gon' back there and get no trash can pussy He took my son He took my son 30 nights When he turned 19 He took him to that script club Next on the fucking uptown My son said mama My son was having a right guard Damn sure All the bitches had a right guard in there I don't believe in that I took my homeboy in there from Florida He would fail for the mother fucking okie doke He did Nigga got 38 dances from the same bitch And song 4 I said hey man what you doing He was like man I just having a good time I was like I saw And I'm like bruh what you doing How much of dance go Shit they weren't that expensive But when they were like 5, 10 Something like that but when she got done She was like you owe me $380 And that nigga you know back then The nigga was like I thought you was vibing I was like nigga where the fuck You think I kept asking you What do you do Like the only reason he didn't have to pay All that shit was cause the security Security big ass security was over there like Nigga just give us $180 cause That bitch be doing that shit all the time I was like I don't take my homeboy From out of town to the strip club They don't know how to act Me and my own boy He was in that bitch for about a hour Nigga he just I didn't lost a nigga he run back on me Like man he like me in here I was like nigga these girls that work I ain't never like the strip club I ain't fucking with it I don't like necking bitches I don't want to see myself a nigga I don't want to see myself a nigga I don't want to see nobody else I know what pussy do So I don't see nobody pussy Especially nobody has pussy I don't know what pussy do You don't suppose to know what pussy do If you knew what pussy did I still want some You might not eat it Shit I know what bacon come from That's way up in now Shit You got that kind of talk I've ever seen spider-man Venom It can't be that good you can have a one child But anyway I'm smart enough To not do that shit again This your first one? Your last one? Your last one? I don't even know what other children I can't even imagine having more than one Why? I got four I got four kids and two abortions You still count the abortions? Yeah, I'm their mama What the fuck are you talking about? I'm a real mama You were hit by a boy when you were going to visit No If I count a mama one claim her kid Try to make me unfit I ain't unfit I'll claim my mama No No Do a bitch think Because she having abortions She don't supposed to celebrate mother's day You're still a mama It just didn't make it It did not make it No it didn't make it But you're still a mama You somebody mama You just didn't get an abortion Damn miss Pat you cold What I mean you should have claim all your kids I've never I mean what am I going to be ashamed of my past I am my past I ain't going to lie on my vagina So you're saying people should claim All their kids Mother's day here or not Let me ask you something When somebody lose a child To accident or whatever Don't they still be that child mama So why can't you be a child mama Who you put in a jaw It is a sign I don't know this is a controversial topic I'm a girl I'm telling you it's not controversial You get the claim who on the fuck Well she has seven so you know She tried to get you an extra one Everybody to be She got six kids She got six motherfuckers and that is not My daughter okay I don't know she say her pussy good It got to be six Colors I had six too Anytime a nigga fucking And you already got five That's some good ass pussy He knew what might have happened She further was fucked She further but she got She got four, three, two Four black kids I don't know I'm Asian Oh little Asian man Can't come out of that pussy Two black I'm not saying that Two black All right Nah she's Look at him Niggas bow to that pussy boy I ain't saying he's bowing that pussy You bow right I don't know the fuck she be doing with that pussy She got that pussy from How the night you throw up in the air And make it rain Yeah that's she got that kind of pussy Everywhere I take her Can you kick these niggas out of me She got six kids she put that pussy You bitch And she nasty with it too Man you know your pussy Man please get that pussy out of here Man please get it out of here She be trying to tell me to put landing strips on my pussy No Like somebody gonna see it with my damn bottom stomach Hanging over top I'm not fucking playing come ready to my navel I want that pussy to look like the backyard Of a house you bout the back This could be nice if you just dress it up a little bit I want to do my own project What? I do my own landscaping on the pussy You gonna shade it? Who gonna let you shade him? I'm 35 I stated my hand is Can't talk to you man Pat You live by your own rules You don't want to change You just trimming pussy You don't want to change the color of your She in the bathroom right now She in the bathroom like that I can't get over this six kids That's crazy Can you imagine having to feed Six people What do they eat? Yeah but that's the house That's the house That's the house That's the house Yeah but that's the house How the shit be hacked I be like You just You ain't even really paying attention Cause you know life and shit But what I'm saying though You got six kids and you like Forget one of their names for real For real I think you call them the wrong name Before you forget that name I call them the wrong name I always get my boy And then I call Sometimes I call my daughter She's like I'm not your gay daughter But she identified I'm not your gay daughter I know to say Gary That's how you One gay and one Both of them One beat me all the time You know she's gay I don't even know who do what She be one gay shout out Everybody my daughter gay Yeah I don't even know who You said she wasn't home for a while Man she told him deal with those like Dicks on ice Dicks on ice She got a briefcase You got a briefcase You got a briefcase Let me show you what I'm working with Let me show you what I'm working with Now just imagine you got Six kids Who put them dicks in this book bag The wrong kid, Greg You look brother that took your Book bag to school Pull the dicks and reset Now I got to go up there Now he suspended And I got to go up there And you got to go with me Because they're your dicks Man she got a Bag bag full of dicks Oh shit When she was little She tough She got her momma crack And gave it out at bubblegum And got her momma locked up She did What You gave it out To the kids And they locked up momma momma ass up too So that's one of them girls We read about in the news page What? We heard that story Somebody Google third grade As give out crack See if her name pop up Wow You told them it was crack I didn't want to sell it So did they Any of them eat it Like the kids eat blue Oh she knows it was at the foster home Within two hours We foster care Oh she knows they have a new home within two hours Damn I saw a crack and my daughter never did that They used to put it in their underwear and shit What You can't say that type of shit That would get you fucked Yes I did I've told that story a minute So I put it in their underwear back in the day You can't judge me for seeing it back in the day That's how we used to hide the crack In the kids underwear That's why she took it to school I didn't know her I was a dealer I ought to beat her ass She made me lose all that money I ain't going to be totally shit if they don't cut me in Was it a lot of crack? Yeah So it was, that's a lot of crack It was full? That's about a thousand So you was putting them in underrobes They pampers Oh like they babies Well they just held it until we got to the trap And they go play and when I need a re-up I just go up in my kid's drawers and keep going I was young and dumb back then That's too raw You said a nigga shot you too And nothing nigga shot me in my titty And blew my nip off What about the other dude? Is that just a smooth spot? No I got a nip and it just blew off It just ain't right It's suckable I don't know Yeah he shot me with a .45 That's the big caliber gun I don't know It went up under my arm in a little hole She was just The whole nipple just It came out through the areola And it just tore everything up That's evil You can't shot like that You don't really feel it You don't feel it Well I was shooting at him He shot me What you was shooting? A .38 A .38 too nigga Damn A .38? A .38 But he was shooting and running He had a blunderbuss So He hit me up under the right arm And it came out of my titty You said somebody hit you with a truck No My kids father I jumped off a little overpass I seen him down the wall I jumped on that motherfucking truck He didn't know that was me He Loved me if you do dumb shit That ain't love Don't love me I don't want no bitch to get that shot You ain't gonna have no crazy bitch Carlos I mean when you love a motherfucker It made you Not like shooting at a bitch That wasn't your crack partner No that was my baby daddy The reason why I shot So he shot me and so I shot him back So we would be even Wait a minute He shot you before Oh and then you shot back No, no about a couple months later I called him with his other baby mama So I shot that nigga in the ankle Cause he didn't come by my house first And it broke his leg But then when I shoot him I go to the hospital, the greater hospital Pick him up, he walking out with the other baby mama Who didn't even have nothing to do with the shooting So I'm like I shot you so I can take care of you nigga This bitch ain't about to sign this cash card I hit this nigga with my car and broke his whole cash Man I was crazy I don't act like that no more We glad you don't The murder rate God damn The city already on fire The city tonight was going Violence against black men In any form We don't condone domestic violence in any way shape or form God damn this pay You know what I was wild, I was stupid You know how you think you're in love Like I remember one time I went to one of his baby mama house And I knocked on the door and the kid on the door So I had a pocket full of change And I knew he was in there right And I gave the little girl all the chain I said shh and I knocked on the bedroom door Niggah that bitch opened that door And he was in that bed but nigga with that hair bone Remember back in those days You in the bed with that bitch with my hair bone I just bought you from the pawn shop And grabbed that hair bone Niggah tried to choke the shit out of that nigga And we was fighting in that whole house Like a motherfucker I got worried Cause I thought you said I thought you were about to say you slapped the baby with a bag of change I was so scared for this Bro, please don't say that I was like hold on I thought you slapped the baby with a bag of change But that made way more sense I gave the baby the money So she wouldn't be quiet And I knocked on the bedroom door He had a butt ass neck with the bitch That bitch opened that door And I hit that bitch and I hit him But he hit me in my eye right there And then my eye started bleeding I had some blood in my eye But I said I ain't leaving him without your motherfucker Gonna take me to Grady and get me some stitches Cause you ain't staying here with that bitch Grady, y'all was in there Give me my regular room And this nigga need another room Cause I just busted his motherfucking case I remember one time I was fighting with him You know At first I went hit him back And they might have a cousin And they hit me with a roller skate That stopper on the end of that skate You know that don't be a You supposed to be here That didn't hit me with that roller skate Stopper That shit did something to me nigga I said I ain't no more licks I went wild on that ass Cause you know a stopper don't go in It's a racer It's to stop you from moving On some skates It might be the hardest part of the skate Next to the whip Yes, he hit me with that stopper I was like that's it I remember one day he slapped me with an iron I slept that nigga back with that iron This is the most toxic shit I've ever heard You know what You call it crazy You think you love him motherfucking But then you realize This is a fucking abuse But it's really abuse What you call good sense Digmatized It probably will dignitize It probably will dignitize You can't do that shit to me no more You can't hit me with no roller skate You can't hit me with no iron Ain't nobody shooting me Ain't nobody fucking me I fight your ass back I was 13 And he was 22 Wait a minute Do you realize If comedy wouldn't have been your path In your younger days No, you probably could have been an MMA fighter You probably could have gotten that octagon And if a nigga hit you with an iron You can take a hook That's it I'm gonna titty twist this nigga to death I don't understand You took some I took some bullshit out of that We glad you stood here Yeah I didn't know you could shoot somebody nip all I didn't either You know what's crazy When he shot me up under the arm I was running into a crack house I thought I snagged my titty On a dope jam on a crack out Back to that after too Damn Your life is dangerous I'm just snagging titty Who knew having titty was so dangerous You gotta wear my snag Damn, I'm bleeding It's coming out a lot And I was like what the fuck And so when they took my bra I was like god damn it's a big ass hole down there And they didn't sew it up What they did was they put the nipple back there And I don't know what they put on But I had to leave this plastic on And change it every so many days And it just all healed back together Tickle a feet And nipple get hard The nerves just fucked up Sometime that nipple do work without the other one Now they ain't in sync You can't get them to get hard at the same time You gotta warm this one up It's a push start That niggas ain't need a push start Them titties alternate One be hard, one be something You might be right, Carlos You've been looking at my wonders But I'm not crazy like that anymore I've been married now for over 30 years But that's the reason I've been rocking the same duvet I wasn't changing for the world Shit, you can't at this point You better not even go take a half You imagine trying to find a new monthly club With the same shit you were saying 30 years ago Nah I can't You jump on it You took my old sex line Jump on it Suck it to me now What the fuck do they say now Hey baby girl Won't you let me come over there I want to grab on that rump shaker Oh yeah Here we go again Sinzema How do you pick up pussy now How do you pick up pussy What do you say to girls now Shit Shit, I don't know Oh, you gotta have tic-tac I ain't done yet What do they say to women now, Queensia I don't fucking know She's like Asian dude Yeah, she's like Asian dude I don't know why she's like Asian dude They're asian sexes and motherfuckers She be gone with them niggas Oh, okay She go with the dude that was fighting Bruce Lee In the woman Bolo Bolo Now, her baby dad Sexes and motherfuckers He Asian, black, Mexican, Chinese He anything Who she fucking Bruno Mars What you doing Where you at They're my kids All in black Yo, baby dad Bruno Mars One of them sexes and motherfuckers All black baby dad All that nigga So, don't know if that was racist or not I ain't want racism She should have stayed on the Asian side He's a good nigga Nah, that nigga Two She spitting that nigga face No I'm just saying the Asian guy was really fucking fine And I should be giving them no shout out like they don't 85 something Oh, I can't switch means I'm too fucking deep in 30 years, what's the trick Communication Why so hard I be trying to communicate But you high Who the fuck won't tell you like that This is the best way to talk to me This is the best way to talk to me You must not know the alternative I'm understanding when I'm this way I'm empathetic Otherwise, it's why the fuck Everything start with why the fuck Why the fuck would you say some shit like that Yeah I don't know, I think you got it You know For me it was communication And I really like the dude I love the dude I mean he's a good one It's not easy to find a good man out here You like them and you love them Yeah I do, because I had two kids already And I took in my sister four crack babies And I took in another set of crack babies And I took in another set of crack babies Ain't nobody gonna stick around for that shit I got a real one Damn He helped me raise About 12 kids That wasn't ours Cause I only got two bi And never complained You wouldn't have stuck around for that shit You fucking right I don't know, it depends How the fuck you leave a motherfucker Who's been through everything What you gonna do, shoot me again Like you can't do anything else to do Why don't you slap me with an iron I can't win 12 crack babies though Yeah, I have my sister kids And I have my niece kids now I have four kids at the house now My kids are grown But you just keep finding some new kids They keep finding me collos They keep, but this is it Cause I'm old Just get good I keep keeping going I'm going through menopause I'm hot all the time My beard won't stop coming on Sometimes you just You just need to leave out I want you to know what it is To be a middle aged black woman collos I don't need to know all of it Yes you do, but your girl gonna become middle aged one day too We'll throw without you So you should know what we go through Why I need to know that Cause if a bitch tell you she got high flash And you won't thank the bitches If she said herself on fire That she just heating up in different areas They only getting worse when you sit here Telling me about She doesn't have that hot sauce They can blame it on some other shit Ain't nobody cheating on them Hot Cheetah You put hot sauce on everything That ain't what give you high flashes I know That's just When you push the heat Go back in your body Yeah So you said we got a broken ear They got a straight pipe You don't know shit about the old pussy That ain't what it is We got a long pipe hanging out our ass It's just all that evil Just moving around No, every woman have that And they move them too Like mine started by my neck And it was between my boobs And it was between my teeth And it's down below You get a hot flash and you push Yeah I wasn't even supposed to say that out loud I was just thinking that shit Yeah, you can't You can't think about getting some hot flashes Just sitting there chilling in there Oh, shit, god damn Damn, nuts is all How far do we get? Yeah, that was okay You said yourself on fire Like, god damn Pussy just started smoking Fuck y'all Is your mama still around Cause she gonna beat your ass around this year I didn't know they got hot flashes in the pussy You get them everywhere Some people get them on their feet Behind their ears I mean you have something like Older women they don't like Gluing down their wigs They slide the fuck off From the heat You might have told me a secret I didn't know none of this shit Cause you probably don't sleep with women my age I damn sure don't You get some women's You can take them panties off You can see who had this shit like a book You know you get them old school books You can see who had it for years before you Nigga, my daddy had this book Nigga, my pussy ain't that old I ain't owe nothing to be your fucking mama Oh, shit Some days Shit Whatever I'ma start though Older women Cougars Wait til they at the end of menopause That's your suggestion Nah, they can go to 60, 70 years old Menopause They just dead now They eventually go away, but they go away different times Don't you agree with me? She get them too? Nah They ain't gonna get old I don't want to know nothing about upwards Cause clearly people can't come out of there once they go off Ain't nobody came back without a baby Nobody came back without a baby Hell no The craigs part is the last baby she had Nobody knew she was pregnant She didn't even know She was in the bathroom fucking around one day And the baby felt like What the fuck is this time? I went to go get my health fix And I called and she said Come on Couldn't even tell if she was pregnant She didn't show I ain't never seen a pregnant Asian lady before She ain't Asian I thought you said she was Asian Oh she's a quarter I don't think a quarter count She is She has her She's Asian all the way Look at them sandals What the fuck they gotta be All Asian people wear sandals All of them I ain't never noticed that I go to the Wigs so all the time You can't start paying attention I start paying attention Yeah they always get them sandals on Stupid He don't love me cause I don't know the fuck you talking about Whatever bro Any movie with some Asian people with some shit They gonna have some sandals on They might not have them on at the Wigs though Cause they working but you catch them on their leisure They gonna have them sandals on I mean yeah In Asia What did you say Them nails shouldn't lie Asian Them not the same Them not the same as the real ones Asians be wearing Yeezys I know Them niggas love Yeezys But they wanna knock off Yeezys cause you can get them on line But that's not knock off to them That's just supporting their family business Yeah You ain't even knock off My wife made me But it's knock off Don't say that bro He's an entrepreneur Who entrepreneur But you see a lot of You see a lot of people with the knock off Yeezys on I don't like the prison slippers I don't like jail shit Huh I don't fuck with the jail shit either They remind me of jail Do those shoes not remind you of jail Yeah they just remind me of jail They remind me of shower shoes at the prison When I was in prison I'm not gonna pay 900 off no prison shoes Shit I can get one of my friend to mail me a pair from jail What But you can get a pair mail to you From the prison I wonder if it's a website you can go to Like people who was locked up for a long time They so used to that jail shit They just like gotta have it now Everybody who just gotta have prison shit Gotta have jail And when you need them shower shoes Man I can't wash up without my shit Why don't you just get some freeware Of shit man I don't want that You out there giving niggas ideas Fresh out of fresh Fresh prisonware That's what he did Institutionalize.com Institutionalize Every month they just send you a box of shit you used to get Like when you were in jail They can look up and see Yeah they can see what you used to order Comissary all the time and put you a box together And just mail that shit fresh t-shirt You get like 2-3 t-shirts in there Coffee, cookies, phone card So you go You go make an app for Comissary Yeah This is the place for Ms. Comissary Comissary Any.comissary Any.comissary Enter your email and put some money on your books That's funny You ever been to prison? Yeah Hell nah. You? Nah I be trying to get out of jail With some good niggas I see, I been Nah I'm prison Yeah I did, I did a year For drugs Of course I figured that, I put two and two together You got away with all the murders and shooting that shit Oh man I did not get with no fucking murders I don't know if it was murders, it was some shootouts Because somebody lost a nipple, I ain't gonna say nobody name I lost a fucking nipple But he lost a part of an ankle So I mean y'all even He's taken me skating all the time too back in the day After the nipple shit After he hit you with the skate Yeah the same skate he hit me with Then he took me to the skate ring Screaming wheels, y'all remember screaming wheels You remember that Y'all too young, y'all too young Y'all around my kid You remember screaming wheels Yeah, streaming wheels Yeah, he's taken me screaming wheels all the time See why they keep getting her pregnant Her boy's sex in the mud for years Yeah, screaming minutes Don't speak questions We don't need you to get pregnant on my phone I'm not gonna do it, I just said I'll see And now I see why I be having it She ain't having it on my baby She don't want it I need them to have them Them some good tubes We know them We know you got four black babies Two A's Totally tubular Shout out to Miss Question with them six kids Keep doing your thing She fix my hair She gonna have them on my baby She the reason the senses switched up Now they say there's more Multiracial people than any other race She definitely has something to do with that She only got two She got two Asian babies That's enough But she already a quarter I don't know shit about her There's two Asian babies in there Four black babies Oh shit I believe that They do That the two Asian babies be beating the shit out of everybody They stand back to back Come on mother fucker What are you talking about What are you talking about What are you talking about You think they got that one She gave her one no trouble Bruh you kid Stop lying to me She gave me soft name They name August September They name August and September Oh that's a fall August and September That's hard though That will fall That sound like this I'm having some twins named Jane we're in February They do that shit for real You know how many April's out here and March It's a bitch that had a name March It's a bitch first name March Yeah it's a bitch name October It's a bunch of October's out here What the fuck are you talking about You need to stop smoking weed October is the name the people are using I heard of August They're using foals now Three How you spell that Tray bitch Tray Tray Tray What Tray under twice twice Tray a name though Three you mean somebody just named the number What's one of them celebrities name they child A number No that's not a must No seven it's still spelled out It's seven it's nine You know what I'm saying It's seven That's what I love about being black bro We'll make a name Your nigga name can be spelled seven But nigga tell you look you straighten out It's savant So we shot an episode Of my show and this just happened So the co-writer came Out of her name Ken Shadow So we I was like I ain't never heard A bitch named Ken Shadow This girl came into my inbox Me and Pat where y'all get the name Ken Shadow that's my name I called a nigga I said nigga it's a bitch I had a name Ken Shadow We thought we just made up some shit You made her a key shadow My name is Ken Shadow Where y'all get that name from like Bitch we didn't know you for real It's names out here Ken Shadow That's not a lot I don't give a fuck One thousand in the last Two hundred years That mean nobody naming They name a nigga October I don't know October that's the month they born Fucking name him I didn't want to have this little motherfucker anyway Every seven years old white man Just come and stand on top of a mountain We shall name her October Somebody use your name You don't drink silver Smell them ass down What did you say? You don't drink You don't drink Me neither I'm too bougie for that You know why I don't drink I went to English Back in the day they used to take you on these Poe ass field trips They took me to the water And showed me how that shit was made That Atlanta city water And they take you to the poe With all the shit at first And say this is what it is And then they take you to the side And then get your glasses on I said what the fuck And that shit mentally I don't fuck with no Nigga I don't even want to bathe some days We clean it There's enough white people That's how you know she'd have made it White people got you reconsidered Every other Thursday Man I cannot fuck with seat water Poe ass I don't like water period after that shit But after they took me on that poe ass Motherfucking field trip Water I don't fuck with water You got a tap water Tap water I would not drink it I would not fucking drink it That's fucked up Miss Patton I can't get over some of this shit You didn't fuck me all the way up I mean that's why I don't drink this shit They took me on a poe ass field trip I can't believe you said Yeah I'm their mom About to your aborted babies I am their mother You're right I just didn't get a chance to name them You should have named them Mock Toe They wouldn't have made it Now they gone to November Y'all been from crazy Y'all seen some bitches crazy Look man make sure you go watch Miss Patton's new show Miss Patton's new show BET Plus Give me your social media So they can follow you and catch up with you Comedian Miss Patton That's C-O-M-E-D-I-E-N-N-E M-S-P-A-T Instagram, TikTok, all the bullshit I'm out there on them My website is misspattcomedy.com The show is now streaming on BET Plus All 10 episodes You watch I Get Another Season Come on we already claimed Let's run it up Miss Patton, it's your first time in the trap Don't let it be your last time You always welcome to come over here Talk some shit with us I appreciate it This is the 85 South Show Catch ya Make sure my titties don't look fat