 Limits help children feel safe and secure. Children learn self-discipline and how to make positive choices when they are given limits. Boundaries are important. They help children relate to others appropriately. Be realistic about your expectations. Consider, what does your child already know? What do you need to teach them? What is age appropriate for your child? Use child development information to guide you. Clearly state your expectations, including a timeframe. Please vacuum the car before we leave for soccer practice today. Avoid adding the word okay to statements that are not optional. This gives the impression that the child has a choice. For example, instead of saying, take out the garbage, okay? Try, please take out the garbage now. Making good decisions takes practice. Children benefit from being allowed to make choices independently. When appropriate, give choices. Give two choices at a time for young children. Try teamwork. Would you like to wash or dry the dishes? You pick one and I'll do the other. Offer only those choices that are acceptable to you. Only ask a yes or no question if you can accept the answer. Give advance notice. It will be time to leave in five minutes. You can use the slide three more times and then it will be time to go home and see money. When the song is done, we will hop to the kitchen for lunch. Rephrase. Use it is time to rather than you need to. Try a when then statement. When you finish putting away your clothes, then you can go to Ellie's house. Establish a few simple rules. Include all family members in the rulemaking process. Post the house rules and review them often. Be consistent so your children know what to expect. When changes are necessary, explain them ahead of time. Be clear when giving directions including limits. Make sure your child understands what is expected of him or her. Ask your child to repeat your directions back to you. Use picture schedules to help young children learn routines and stay on task. Follow through with consequences so children learn to trust your words. In other words, say what you mean and mean what you say. Intentionally watch for moments when you can compliment your child on their choices, actions and behavior. Wow! Nice job picking up all your toy animals. It was so thoughtful of you to do the dishes without being asked. I'm grateful that you two get along so well. As the pyramid shows, the majority of our time with our children should be spent on nurturing our relationship with them and preventing problems. These efforts build a strong foundation for life. Use appropriate guidance tools to teach the child needed skills to succeed. Consequences are the smallest portion and listed at the top of the pyramid to make the point that we need to follow through when we make rules and set limits. Discipline is a Latin word that means instruction and training. When you think discipline, think about how to best teach your child. Discipline is not about punishing and shaming them. Children are constantly learning from the words and actions of their parents. Parents are their children's first and most influential teachers. Logical consequences are designed to respectfully teach limits. If the rule no throwing balls in the house is broken and so is the lamp, the logical consequence would be to have the ball throwers pay for the repairs of the new lamp. Natural consequences happen naturally without adult intervention. When your teen decides not to wear socks, their feet get cold and uncomfortable. If your preschooler won't share toys, their friends leave them alone. Describe what you see. This practice helps children feel proud of themselves rather than looking to others for praise. I see you use the colors orange and green on your drawing. Wow, I noticed all the laundry is done. You have been concentrating on that project for over an hour. Where can you get more useful information on topics like this? The Parent and Family Resource Centers are located in six areas in North Dakota. Our regional parent educational centers work with local extension offices to serve residents throughout the state. Here are some examples of what we can offer you. This is who we serve and you. Please join us at the Parent Resource Center near you or online. Understanding child development helps adults have appropriate and realistic expectations of all ages of children. Parent education builds a collection of positive responses for many different parenting situations. Without thought and discourse, parenting practices can be passed from one generation to the next. This can be a positive or negative experience for both adults and children. Strengthen a parent and you strengthen a child. NDSU Extension and the Parent and Family Resource Centers of North Dakota, thank you for watching. Please visit our website for more information.