 why the narcissist needs you to be their enemy. When you interact with someone, you can either choose to be pleasant and agreeable, or resistant and oppositional. The narcissist needs you to be their enemy. They need you to be their adversary or opponent in a contest, conflict or dispute. They will not take an interest in your thoughts or feelings. They will not be encouraging. They will not display any curiosity or eagerness to learn about how you feel about the situation. The narcissist has a fixed way of thinking and they only care about how they feel about the situation which will cause them to become bored or lack enthusiasm whenever you try to express your views. They will dismiss your views of the situation and see it as though it is unworthy of their consideration which may then cause inconvenience to you and you will feel as though you are not being heard as though your thoughts or opinions do not matter. They will also criticise you and express adverse or disapproving comments and judgements. They will be bossy and domineering and assert their will over you in an arrogant way. They are easily annoyed and made angry and very anxious to challenge or avoid criticism in a way which can often make them appear offensively impolite or bad-mannered where they may then blame you for a fault or mistake or claim that you have done something wrong when you first meet the narcissist. They may seem very like-minded. It may seem as though they have similar tastes or opinions. It may seem as though they have qualities or interests that are similar to your own. They may be pleasant, agreeable and you may even enjoy their company but when there is a disagreement or a difference of opinion they will begin to treat you as their enemy as someone who is making their lives miserable and you may notice that they become very controlling and entitled while having a lack of empathy and consideration for you which is the basis of narcissism. Whenever you have a difference of opinion they will see it as though you are being difficult as though you are causing hardships or problems for not doing things their way or seeing things in the way that they would prefer which is always going to be unfearable to you as narcissists always have to get their way at the expense of everyone around them. You may feel as though you are walking on eggshells you may become extremely cautious about your words or actions you may be very careful not to offend them or do anything wrong because you have learned from their reactions and behaviours that any little thing could set them off you are judged for everything you say or do everything you say or do is seen as a personal attack you always walk away without a resolution realising that it is impossible to find a cause, explanation or justification for the action or event it is impossible to reason with a narcissist you may feel as though they are constantly misinterpreting you constantly misunderstanding your thoughts or feelings they have to misinterpret you to make it seem as though they are winning the argument you may feel as though you are being blamed for things that have nothing to do with you things that you are not responsible for you may notice that the narcissist is lying to you they will often tell lies however improper or morally they may be if it means that they can have an end that is more convenient, advantageous or in their own interest arguments can arise very easily with a narcissist often over things that are very little value or importance it is very easy for you to become their enemy or they then feel like they have to defeat you so that they can win they see it as a competition as an opportunity for them to establish superiority over you the narcissist needs you to be their enemy to repeat with you what was done to them throughout their lives they have experienced many relationships which involved conflict they don't know how to direct an authentic relationship one that is not influenced by past situations or events they don't know how to have a relationship where you can both be your genuine and authentic selves where you can both be open and honest without any false displays of feelings, attitudes or intentions because in their childhood they learned that there is a hierarchical system of social organization in life there is a hierarchy of dominance and authority just like with birds where there is a peck in order or a rank of individual birds within your unique flock where stronger, more dominant birds occupy higher ranks and weaker, more submissive birds are lower in the peck in order and they have to be above them they have to be superior from their childhood they have been taught that they have to be on top they have to be in the dominant position so they cannot deal with any feelings of loss or making faults or mistakes they are shame based individuals doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame they don't have any interest or need to resolve their emotions they believe that people should be judged and punished they believe that acceptance should be conditional they believe that flaws are unacceptable they believe that whoever has the most toys is the winner they believe that it is better to have than not have they experience constant anger and dissatisfaction where they will often single people out for cruel and unjust treatment they have a dualistic mentality black or white thinking where something is either all good or all bad right or wrong all or nothing winners or losers that is how they learn to process life and they have to win which is why they have to see you as their enemy they have to take control of you so that they can elevate themselves at your expense the only way that they can feel significant is to elevate themselves at your expense because they lack the very essence of life they have no purpose substance or value and they have to use you to fill their empty souls If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description coaching enquiries are cleaning me at www.naxforecoaching.com Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon