 I was officially diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder at the age of 24. When I finally disclosed the symptoms I was experiencing with my doctor. But I knew I always struggled with it. For any of you out there who experience an anxiety disorder, I know how scary and threatening it can be, when your breath shortens, your heart races, and your throat tightens. For some of you, especially those of you who have panic attacks, it might feel like you're about to die. And the worst part about anxiety is that you never know when it's going to rise again or worsen. It's invisible, quiet, and unpredictable. We don't get warnings ahead of time, not like flashing ambulance lights to let us know there's an emergency, or the glare of a sound alarm. Often it'll sneak up on us and breathe negative thoughts into our headspace. Ever since I started meditating more and shifting my self-talk in a better direction, my anxiety no longer has as much control over my life as it used to. But sometimes all it takes is one unfortunate event to get my heart racing. For the most part my childhood was cloaked in chaos. Every day it felt like I was walking on eggshells. I never knew when the next bomb was going to set off. I became fearful of many things. Death, being yelled at, eating in front of others, socializing, and not being good enough. The list goes on, but I don't want to bore you. My experience with anxiety isn't necessarily a fairy tale. I still have a long way to go, and I'm not sure if there'll be a happy ending. But I'm curious enough to find out and keep going. It's funny. My relationship with the unknown used to be a tumulus one. I would often get thrown into unpleasant situations one after the other, and if I felt like I wasn't performing well, I'd quit to blame myself, but never the person who had a choice of guiding me in a healthier fashion. Nowadays, however, as I'm navigating the streets of adulthood, I'm beginning to welcome change with open arms. I'm not telling you the waterworks will stop, but that there won't be days where you won't feel like getting out of bed, because they still very much exist for me. But I can say with confidence, there is so much for me to live for. My boyfriend's cat likes curling up on the couch with me. I have yet to experiment and try thousands of recipes on my list, and I know there are people in my life who care about me and want me to succeed. Instead of playing the victim and asking myself why anxiety chose to haunt me, I start feeling sorry for myself. Yes, I recognize that if I didn't have anxiety, maybe my high school years wouldn't have been as traumatizing for me, and maybe I would have developed relationships with people I always wanted to talk to, but was too afraid to approach. But looking back with regret isn't something that will propel me forward. Instead, that's like giving into anxiety and saying, okay, you win. I can continue controlling my life. I know these things are always easier said than done. Believe me, I was not able to achieve this overnight. And there are things I still need to work on. But anything that's worth having in life is always worth the effort. Anxiety is an ongoing battle for me, but it's no longer a threat to me. Have a personal story you want to share about experience with anxiety or a mental health problem? Email them to editorialatcyte2go.net or make a video about it and take hashtag anxiety, hashtag depression, hashtag site to go, and we will watch it. Your story might just get animated and get paid. Thanks for watching.