 The Kraft Foods Company presents The Great Gilder Sleeves. It's The Great Gilder Sleeves starring Harold Perry, brought to you by The Kraft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. For the past couple of weeks, we have been recalling to you some of The Great Gilder Sleeves' early experiences. Tonight, the great man wants to talk about one of the biggest days in his whole life. And to give you now, Throckmorton P. Gilder Sleeves. Well, sir, as long as I live, I'll never forget last 4th of July. What a day. That was the day of the first annual outing of the Jolly Boys Social Club. Come one, come all, and bring your friends. I'd been up late the night before with the committee on arrangements, and I was planning to celebrate the anniversary of the independence of our country by sleeping a little late that morning. About seven o'clock outside my window. Yes, yes. There was a war on then. That was only a year ago. Can you believe it? You couldn't buy fireworks anywhere in those days. But breeze there a boy with souls so dead he can't find some way to blow himself up on the 4th? I figured I'd better get down there and see what... Lee Roy, whatever you're doing, stop it. I'm not doing anything else. Don't tell me that. I've got ears. Or I do have. Hold your fire until I can get down there. You can't deny a small boy the 4th of July. That's his day. But I still remembered the time I made the mistake of carrying a three inch salute in my hip pocket. And my best friend sneaked up on me with a piece of punk. It was burned in my memory. I didn't want anything like that to happen to Lee Roy, so I got up and shaved and got dressed, put on my white palm beach suit and my white canvas shoes that I hadn't worn in years, and hurried downstairs. Breakfast was a rather disordered meal that day. I guess we were all a little excited. Marjorie kept jumping up and down and rushing off places. I finally told her to sit down. Marjorie, I said for heaven's sake, light somewhere. But I'm all through, Uncle Moore. I don't care. Sit down. You make me nervous. But I'm supposed to be helping Bertie make the lunch. I can wait till after breakfast. One thing at a time here. Where's my cereal? Lee Roy, wipe your chin. Bertie, I'm ready for my cereal. I'm coming. We ought to get a bell. Here you are, Mr. Gil Sleeve. Lee Roy, how about you? Oh, I'm full. I'm full. What's this you've given me, Bertie? Oh, my goodness. Flowers for the sandwiches. Olives are my favorite fruit, Bertie, but not for breakfast. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Gil Sleeve. That's what comes from making lunch and breakfast at the same time. I only hope I didn't go and shred the oatmeal on the sandwiches. Bertie's a scream this morning. How do you like her with that cap over her eye? I really ought to go out there and help her. Sit still, my dear. You'll only add to the confusion. She'll fight her way out of this. What time are we leaving for the picnic grounds, Unkie? Well, Floyd should be coming by here for us about 11. Floyd Munson? Are we going with him? Yeah, he's going to get his cousin's hay wagon. We'll all ride out together. Everybody, big excursion. Oh, how wonderful. A hay ride. I've got to run right over until Marshall. Yeah, Marshall will find out. You stay right where you are. A hay ride? Oh, this is going to be more fun. Unkie, I think you were darling to arrange it. Yeah. Don't you look pretty in your nice white suit. Doesn't he look pretty, Leroy? He looks like a good humor man. I feel like the good humor man, Leroy. Yes, sir, nobody's going to make me mad today. But don't keep trying, Leroy. Well, we had work to do that morning, but all of a sudden nothing would do. We should drop everything and hang out the flag. I'm having a flag if you don't hang it out on the 4th of July. All right. So you tramp upstairs to the attic. Two flights. Extra step. Well, you rummage around and you find the flag, then you open the front attic window. It hasn't any sash cord, so you have to prop it up with a stick. Only you can't find a stick, so you use a coat hanger. What's the yard on the floor? See how it looks. Now, Leroy, when I get out the window, do you hold on to my legs? What for? What do you think? Just hold on to them. That's all. Don't let go. No, not yet, Leroy. We'd like it out there. That's what you said to hold on to them. Use your head, my boy. Now, you lower the flag out the window, then you squirm partway out yourself. And then you look down. Hold on, Leroy. Oh, sure. That's the time the telephone always rings. I'll get back on. Okay. What, Leroy? You come back here, little devil. There you are, half in and half out, straddling the windowsill on your stomach in a Palm Beach suit that's just been cleaned and too tight. There's only one thing to do. You try to inch your way back in. There you are, teetering in space while your life hangs in the balance. And then it happens. Your elbow hits the hanger, the window drops like a guillotine, all the way right in the back. You're pinned there like a rat in a trap clutching at old glory. Four or five hours pass. Maybe it's four or five minutes. You've been hollering as loud as you can, with the wind knocked out of you in your heart and your throat. And then some fool happens along and calls to you. What's the difference? This is no joke, Leroy. I'm stuck. Oh, gracious. Get help. Uh, safe at last. Safe again in the bosom of my little family. But might have been an ugly incident was turned into a happy triumph. For old glory waved proudly from our attic window, not front to look at it. And we all agreed that it looked just fine there. It looks just fine there, but it wasn't just fine. It looks beautiful. Yeah. How do you like it, Bertie? Mr. Gillsley, if I had my way, I'd leave it there all the time. Yes, sir, it looks fine. But there were other things to do, and time was wasting, so I gave a few orders. Let's get going here, Bertie. No time to lose. Yes, sir. I'm Audrey. You help Bertie with the lunch. Okay. Leela, I wonder if you could give him a hand. Well, I have to dress yet, Trockmorton, but I'd be glad to do what I can. Good. I'll carry out the basket and things as they get unpacked. Me? Yes, you. What are you going to do? I'm going to sit down on the porch here for a while and think about the Declaration of Independence. Well, I sat down on the swing there and lit a cigar, and I thought how different this was from other 4th of Julys I'd known. How quiet and how nice. And I thought how men's tastes change as he grows older. Five and I was a youngster. I lived in a world of high explosives, my caps five inch salutes, red devils, Roman candles, erupting strong bullies, 50 cent sky rockets. I loved them. Not anymore. Suddenly I looked down the walk and here came a little boy that might have been me at the age of six. Only it wasn't. It was little Craig Bullard from across the street, and he was pulling a toy cannon. I knew what he was going to say before he said it. Can we work, Craig? Well, hello, Craig. That's how you got there. I want Leroy to play with me. Well, Leroy's inside right now. He's trying to come out. Well, he has some work to do, Craig. I want him to come out. Later, perhaps later. Who gave you the cannon? My father. Oh, that's fine. Doesn't go off, does it? Well, Craig, surely your father's told you not to aim that thing at people. Craig, what are you going to do? I'm going to shoot you. Now, Craig, what's that string for? I'm going to pull it. Don't you shoot that thing? I'm going to pull it. One. Craig, you hear me? Don't you shoot that? Two. Look, Craig, I thought of a game. Three. I knew it wouldn't shoot. A little guest to see, Leroy. I have a cannon. I have a cannon. I got it, Craig, you old boy. Maybe I can show you how to shoot it. You do, and I'll shine. Boy, this is one of those carbide cannons. Pull a string and nothing happens. Well, no wonder what you need is carbide. I've got somewhere out in the garage. Come on. Leroy? No carbide, Leroy. But it's meant for carbide. And no gravel. Carbide. And no carbide. What were they going to do? I sat there uneasily, wondering how little boys ever lived to reach the age of 12. But pretty soon they were back again. Craig's a little boy. That's no reason to get angry with him. If he wants to imagine things. I'm General Eisenhower. He's Rommel. You must have discovered how the game comes out. I think that's a very wise decision, my boy. Very wise indeed. Rommel would have been smart if he'd done the same thing. A few laughs, a few fights, a little excitement, and a lot of bustling preparation. It was noon before we knew it, and the Jolly Boys were overdue. Leroy had gone home to dress, and we were standing on the front porch waiting. Leroy and Marjorie and her boyfriend and I. Then the wagon hovered in sight. Here it comes. Here it comes, Anki. Oh, boy, look at it! Yes, sir, it was Floyd's cousin's hay wagon with a nice bed of fresh hay. Never red, white, and blue bows on the tails of the horses. And somebody had twined red, white, and blue crepe paper through the spokes of the wheels. Floyd's cousin was handling the horses, and Floyd sat on the seat beside him. And believe it or not, he had an accordion. Oh, brothers, that corny. Oh, it's wonderful. Don't you love it, Marcial? Okay, I was so happy. Don't jump on the down with the thermos bottles, will you? Oh! Ahoy there, Commissioner! Ahoy! We're good old hooker, good old TV, good old Floyd, and good old Gates. I tell you to look at that good old wagon, all red, white, and blue, and all those fine fellows in it. Well, made you proud of your country, that's all. I'm glad there was the Fourth of July. Come on, come on, what are we waiting for? Yeah, come on, Commissioner. Scramble up there, Leroy. Okay. You're next, Gilday. Give me a hand there, somebody. Don't strain yourself, Mr. Gilday. Hey, hey, hey! Yes, sir, it looks like it's going to be a great picnic. You know, when a person's hungry, there's nothing quite so satisfying as a slice of bread with your favorite spread. Well, Parquet Marjoram's my favorite spread, Mr. Lane. But it's often so hard to get. And right now, we're all being asked to go easy on bread. So there'll be more for hungry people who really need it. So surely you're not trying to sell me on the idea of using more. That's right, I'm not. The point I'm trying to make is that bread and spreads are basic hunger-satisfying foods. Two of the foods most vitally needed in the world today. Here at home, we're fortunate that there's some of both for everyone. Not all we'd like, perhaps, but enough. And by conserving bread and spreads when they're in short supply, it helps everyone to get a fair share. That, Mr. Lane, is going to make me use Parquet sparingly and to appreciate its fine flavor and food value all the more. And I'd like to just add that Kraft will continue to make all the Parquet marjoram possible under present conditions and distribute it as fairly as we can. Thanks again for being so patient when supplies of Parquet are temporarily limited. Yes, sir, quite a day, the 4th of July. Everybody had a good time riding out to the picnic grounds. Leroy was up front with a driver. Marjorie and Marshall Bullard sat together talking very seriously. Floyd was playing as accordion. Mostly requests from Eve Goodwin and Lela Ransom. Sounded pretty good. Floyd was all dressed up for a day in the country with white sports shoes. Judge Hooker had on a pair of golf nickers he dug up someplace. I never knew the judge was bold-legged before. Little do, Leroy. Eve Goodwin was looking very pretty with a big straw hat on. Lela was wearing something she called a play suit. Didn't you ever have a play suit? No, but I like it. What do we play? Well, we got out to the grounds in about an hour. A nice woodsy spot besides a little stream. Quite a good deep pool at one point. We unloaded the baskets with the food. Everything was so peaceful for a few minutes. Just pile all that stuff over here, boys, under the tree. What about putting it out here in the open? I prefer to have it under the tree, Floyd, and since I'm to be the chef... Who said you were going to be the chef, Judge? Naturally, I assumed... Well, just turn off your assumer. You're assuming too fast. Yeah, I'm pretty fair-handed to barbecue myself. I will attend to the barbecuing, Floyd. Who said so? It just so happens, Gildy, that my recipe for barbecued frankfurters is acknowledged the best in town. Not by me, it ain't... I got a sauce that makes a hot dog taste like filet mignon. Well, my sauce makes it taste like a hot dog. I still say, if you have any regard for our guests, you let me be the chef. Who is that, sir? Now wait a minute, fellas. Follers, is this any way to behave? Well, what'll our guests think of the Jolly Boys? Gee, I never thought of that. We've got an organization with a reputation to maintain. Summerfield has its eye on the Jolly Boys Club. It's right, fellas. I'll withdraw my claim to the chef's job. So will I. You take it, Floyd. No, Judge, you take it. Oh, no. Well, then let Gildy's leave, have it. Oh, no, not me. Well, for heaven's sake... You asked for it in the first place, Judge. That has nothing to do with it. The idea! I never see it! Oh, God! The art and the art. Let's be Jolly Boys, shall we? So harmony finally prevailed. We made Hooker chef, and now I got stuck with the job of collecting wood for a fire. So naturally, I went looking for Leroy. I finally found him down with a crick. Leroy, put your shoes on. I want you to gather some wood for a fire. Oh, no. No, Leroy. I'm working on an important project. I can't stop in the middle of it. What is the project? I'm improving the swimming hole. Everybody will be grateful when it's done. There's nothing to matter with the swimming hole, my boy. It doesn't need any projects. Are you kidding? It isn't deep enough. I can't even get over my head. It isn't necessary to drown to have a good time, my boy. Now, put on your shoes. Oh, please. I'll get the firewood later. Can't I just build a small dam? Well, all right. Building a dam is harder than you think. If a dumb animal can do what I can do it. Gosh, a beaver. They chew down trees with their teeth and then slap the mud on with their tails. How are you going to manage that? That'll be better. Leroy! You're going to play in the water. Put on your bathing suit. I finally got Marjorie and Marshall Bullard to go out and collect firewood. They'd been mooning around with nothing to do and they seemed glad of an excuse to go off for a walk by themselves. Of course, when they came back an hour later, they'd forgotten to bring any firewood. They didn't seem to mind going back for some more. Although, by that time, the rest of us were getting ready to go swimming. Say, Comish, that schoolteacher don't look bad in a bathing suit, does she? Miss Goodwin is a lady, Floyd. Did I say she wasn't? Ransom ain't bad either. Are you referring to Mrs. Ransom? Sure. What's the matter? You better watch your step there, Floyd. Remember, Mr. Gilderslee's been engaged to practically every woman on this picnic. No, I'll see you here, you fellas. Only kidding, Comissioner. Where'd we, Floyd? Well, I thought so. Come on, let's go swim. Well, gentlemen, off for a plunge in the brook. Phoebe! Come on, get into your bathing suit. No, thanks, Mr. Gilderslee. Not today. Oh, come on, Phoebe. It'll cool you off. No, no, really. In fact, it is. I'm not much of a swimmer. Oh, just float then. Anybody can float. I wouldn't say that. I've always had trouble floating. Oh, nothing to it, Steve. Just lie on your back and don't move. That's what they always told me. Well? Every time I try it, water goes up my nose. Your head must be heavier than your feet. That's what I say. You too? Aren't y'all going in the water? We'll be right there, Leela. We're trying to get Phoebe to come along. What, Phoebe? Not going swimming? No, Judge, not today. Well, good way to work up an appetite, Phoebe. Well, I dare say, but the fact is, gentlemen, I promised Mrs. Phoebe I wouldn't go. She has a serious bad to go in the water on a hot day. Ah, that's a lot of baloney. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Not to Mrs. Phoebe, anyway. Of course, right now, she's out town. Yeah, that's right. Come on, Phoebe. Come on, fellas. Last one in the water is a rotten egg. Well, that's no way I want to dive in. Well, I don't think the water's deep enough soft, ma'am. Let me deep enough for a good diver. You could dive off that rock, Commissioner, if you're really good. Let's see you dive off the rock, Uncle. Well, that's pretty high. What's the matter, you're afraid? Well, no, but no, I'm not afraid. I'll show you by joint. You want to see me swim underwater, Mrs. Ransom? Can you really? Just what? Goodness look at Mr. Monsonny. He's actually swimming underwater. Hey, girls, aren't you going to watch me dive? Do you think it was a lobster, Mrs. Ransom? It's only me. You cut that off, Lloyd. Hey, girls, you want to see me imitate a whale? Well, I'd love to see that. Well, watch. First, I float on my back. Give the man room. You want to see me stand on my head in the water? Look. Look, Eve, here comes Mr. Peevee. Oh, my goodness. That long-sleeved bathing suit is hookers. Come on in, Peeve. The water's fine. You know, I think I'll just sit on the bank here and dabble my toes. Come on up here with me, Peevee, and dive in. You'll get wet faster your way, Peevee. What'd you say, Floyd? I didn't say anything. Oh, do come in, Mr. Peevee. The water's lovely. Is it cold? It's just right. Stick your toe in. She's nice and moderate. Guess I can risk it. I'll just rub a little water on my chest. And on my forehead. And my stomach. What's that for, Peevee? It prevents a chill. Look at me, darling. I wonder if I can remember how to do a duck dive. Would you ladies care to see me do my duck dive? We certainly would, wouldn't we? I can't think of anything more enjoyable. Hey, here I come. And now you watch. When I wiggle my feet just before they go under, that's the duck's tail feathers. Oh, there go the tail feathers. Live out, everybody, here I come. And this time I meet him. Oh, oh, oh. But the judge made us come and eat his barbecued frankfurters. His sauce wasn't so much. I only ate six. He ate seven. But I will say everybody was nice and helped clean up afterward. Even Leroy did a little work. A little? Leroy didn't have time to do much work because Mr. Bullard drove out and took him and Marshall and Marjorie home in his car. That just left the grown-ups to ride back in the hay wagon and perhaps it was just as well. Moonlight's nice tonight, isn't it, Throckmorton? You bet. The moon's awfully pretty tonight, isn't it, Judge? Yes, it is, Leroy. It is indeed. Moon's awfully pretty tonight. Ain't it, Peeley? Get away from me, Florent. Are you comfortable, Eve? Mm-hmm, yes. I'm comfortable, Leroy. Yes, thank you. Although the hay gets a little itchy after a while. I, uh, cold, Eve. Oh, mercy, no. Well, uh, couldn't you pretend you're a little chilly? No, Throckmorton. I can hear every word you say, Commissioner. Well, play a recording, Floyd, and give us a chance. Okay. Floyd played some nice old songs and Eve snuggled up to me a little. But I couldn't seem to get my mind on her. Maybe it was because I couldn't help noticing that Judge kept trying to slide his arm around Leroy. Leroy's nothing to me, of course. But just the same when she called over to me. Why don't you sing, Throckmorton? Sing? Hi, George. That's a good idea, Leroy. Why don't we all sing? Come on, Floyd. It's something we all know. Well, let me see. How's that? Oh, that's just the way it is, Floyd. Okay. Now, all together now, folks. Here we go. All of you can have at least a day this summer as fine as our last 4th of July. This is our last broadcast of the season, but we'll be back again for the Kraft Foods Company on September 11th. If you look at your calendar, you'll find out that September 11th isn't Sunday at all. It's Wednesday. So you remember that and tell your friends, next season you'll hear the great Gilder Sleeve. That's me. On Wednesday instead of Sunday, it'll be the same network, and your local paper will give you the time in the station. I guess all the members of our cast are looking forward to their vacations. I'd like to thank every one of them for the nice times we've had together all this year. There's Louise Erickson, who plays Marjorie. Walter Tetley, our little Leroy. And Lillian Randolph, whom you know is Birdie. Getting outside the immediate family, there's Shirley Mitchell, who plays Leela Ransom and Beve Naderet, who's Ead Goodwin. Thanks to the Jolly Boys, Arthur Q. Bryan and Ken Christie, who are Floyd and Chief Gates. And to that not-so-jolly little boy, Tommy Bernard, who plays Little Craig. Johnny Lang, our announcer. And of course, with every season that goes by, we appreciate more and more our two fine old standbys, Earl Ross, who plays Judge Hooker and Richard LeGrand, who is Mr. Peabee. As we come to the close of another season of fun on the Great Gilder Sleeve, we'd like to leave with you this very serious thought. How would your appetite hold up a dinner tonight of a starving child stood at your elbow, a child with hunger biting into his wide eyes and hollow cheeks? Please, just for a moment, pretend that you can see him beside you. This child who has known the worst of war and now faces famine, how in spring is back and our children frolic in the sun, these frail children of Europe and Asia long for bread. Help to feed them, and you can by buying and eating as little wheat and rice as possible, by turning in used fats and oils, eating more of the plentiful foods as much as possible from your own garden, preserving all you do not eat, and that's crap. A child in Europe, when he gets some strength back in his body, will thank you for it. This is NBC, the National Broad...