 In Job chapter 10, we'll begin reading at verse 1, I'll read to verse 7, in Job chapter 10, it says, My soul loathes my life. I will give free course to my complaint. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul. I will say to God, do not condemn me. Show me why you contend with me. Does it seem good to you that you should oppress, that you should despise the work of your hands and smile on the counsel of the wicked? Do you have eyes of flesh, or do you see as man sees? Are your days like the days of a mortal man? Are your years like the days of a mighty man that you should seek from my iniquity and search out my sin? Although you know that I'm not wicked, and there is no one who can deliver from your hand. As we begin, we need to remember that in the chapter prior to this, in chapter 9, Job had cried out. He wanted a mediator. Remember what he said in verse 32 following, speaking of the Lord, he said, He's not a man as I am, that I may answer him, and that we should go to court together. Nor is there any mediator between us who may lay his hand on us both. Let him take his rod away from me, and do not let dread of him terrify me. Then I would speak and not fear him, but it is not so with me. Notice verse 33, Nor is there any mediator between us who can or may lay his hand on us both. Job is saying that he needed someone who could be like an umpire, who could be the umpire between him and God. You see, at this time all he could believe is that it's God who is inflicting this pain on him. From the beginning of his afflictions, God had been accused of doing just that. We saw this when he lost his sheep and servants to a lightning storm in Job chapter one, verse 16. Remember how it says, the fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and servants. So God was blamed for that from the beginning. After losing his wealth, after losing his children, he began experiencing health issues. And his wife told him, you should just curse God and die. In Job two, verse 10, he said to her, you speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we accept good from God? And shall we not accept adversity? Once again, the inference is that God is doing this to me. And so when he opened his mouth to crowd his pain, it's God who's being blamed for it. In chapter three, verse 23, it says, why is light given to a man whose way is hidden and whom God has hedged in? His friends began counseling him, made it clear that they thought God was behind all of this. In Job chapter four, verses eight and nine, Alaphaz said, even as I've seen those who plough in equity and so trouble reap the same, by the blast of God they perish. And by the breath of his anger, they are consumed. Once again, God is being blamed for everything that's taking place. You see, Alaphaz believed that God was chastening Job for some unconfessed sin. And Job chapter five, verse 17, he said, behold, happy is the man whom God corrects. Therefore do not despise the chastening of the Almighty. Now he had another friend, Bildad, and Bildad took up the same theme as his friend Alaphaz. As far as he could see, Alaphaz was right. Job was reaping what he sowed. In Job eight, verse three, the question is asked, does God subvert judgment? Does the Almighty pervert justice? Once again, Job God has brought all of this upon you. And so he gave him counsel. He said, seek God for forgiveness. You might be restored. And he made it clear that if Job would repent, God would bless him. In chapter eight, verse 20 and 21, behold, God will not cast away the blameless, nor will he uphold the evildoers. He will yet fill your mouth with laughing, your lips with rejoicing. In other words, Job repent. And if you do that, everything will be good. So in all of this, God is blamed for the actual evil that has befallen Job. In fact, it was Satan who was responsible for the pain that had been inflicted on him. But even so, God was, Job was convinced rather that God had personally brought this upon him. In Job nine, 17, it says, he crushes me with a tempest and multiplies my wounds without cause. So it's quite simple. If only I had a mediator, if only I had someone who could plead my case. Now he's wrong about who inflicted the pain, but he still reflected on man's greatest need. He had what might be called a spiritual instinct. He knew innately that he needed someone to mediate between him and God. In other words, Job knew of his own sinful condition and he made it clear by what he said in verses 30 and 31. He had made it very clear when he said in chapter nine, if I wash myself with snow water and cleanse my hands with soap, yet you will plunge me into the pit and my own clothes will abhor me. I'm still, I'm a filthy sinner is what he's saying. I know my unrighteous condition. You see, God made this clear and God even inspired a prophet by the name of Jeremiah to prophesy something very similar to that. You see, there are none, the Bible says, who are righteous. The Bible says, all have sin, fall short of the glory of God. And there's nothing that man can do on his own power to remove this stain of sin, no matter how hard we work, no matter what we do, no matter how much we give, no matter how much we serve, no matter how we try to be good. The bottom line is, is we cannot cleanse ourselves. Again, Jeremiah said it like this in Jeremiah 2 verse 22, though you wash, though you wash yourself with lye and use much soap, yet your iniquity is barked before me, say, at the Lord God. Paul later on was to write and he spoke concerning God and he said in Romans 3 26 that God is just and he's the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. You see, the invitation to be cleansed would be issued and was issued to those who desired to know him. In the Old Testament book of Isaiah in chapter 1 verse 18, it says, come now, let us reason together, saith the Lord, though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool. And so Job is aware of his own sinful condition. His men, the men who are advising him are blaming him for the things that are taking place. But Job realizes that he's not a blameless man and all and he needs a mediator. And so that's why we're so blessed to have our mediator, Jesus Christ, that has revealed to us in the New Testament because the invitation for sins to be completely forgiven comes through faith in Christ. We see that in the New Testament, Jesus is declared to be our mediator. He's the one that Job was wishing that he had at that time. In Romans 5 1 and 2, Paul said it like this. He said, therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. So Job's desire is for someone to plead his case before this righteous God because he believes that if he had someone who could do that, he would be found not guilty. You know, today, many think that they can just approach God and receive whatever it is that they need. And they don't realize that their sin has made a separation between them and God. They don't understand that that's the reason that Jesus came. Jesus came in order that he might bridge that gap, that sin gap, that gap that is between me and God. Jesus came and he took the hand of his father and took my hand and joined us together. And he's the one who is the mediator. He's the one who is the bridge that causes us to have relationship with God. Well, Job was crying for someone who would give him confidence to speak to God. This arbitrator is revealed to us in the Gospels. It's Jesus who said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me. In the Old, and rather in the New Testament book of Hebrews in chapter four, verses 14 through 16, the writer says this. He says, therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess, for we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way just as we are, yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Job is saying, oh, I wish I had a mediator. But as I read in verse 33, chapter nine, he says, nor is there any mediator between us who may lay his hand on us both. He's saying, I just don't have anybody who can do that. And so as he has finished making that statement, he continues into chapter 10. And now he makes it very clear how he feels. Verse one, my soul loathes my life. And he goes on to say, I will give free course to my complaint. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul. I'm going to be an open book. I have a lot of pain and that gives me the freedom to open up. And I'm going to express my pain. And I'm going to tell God how I feel. My soul, he says, loathes my life. I'm tired of living. I'm tired of living in this miserable, rotting body. And that's what's taking place. He's scraping his body with broken pieces of pottery. He's just pressing on those open wounds. And his body is caked with scabs and filled with just disease. And I'm just tired of it. I hate this. I hate being alive. I hate the way I feel. I'm just tired of living. And I'm tired of living in this miserable, rotting body. I'm tired of my life. And because I am, I'm going to just give vent to my complaining. I'm not going to restrain myself any longer. And so he says, I'm going to give free course to my complaint. I'm going to speak of the bitterness of my soul. And then he says in verse two, I'll say to God, do not condemn me. Show me why you contend with me. What have I done? Why are you mad? Why are you fighting with me? What have I done to you? Show me why. Don't call me wicked as my friends have. Why have you singled me out? Why have you allowed me to go through such terrible pain? What have I done? How have I sinned? Why do I deserve this? Why have I gone through so much pain? Why have I gone through so much loss? I mean, the pain and loss that this man went through is we can't calculate it. We can't. He lost every single thing he had that had any value. In the material, he lost it all. In the emotional, he lost his children. In his relationship, his wife said, curse God and die. In his friendships, these guys traveled some time to get to him. The first thing they do when they can open their mouth is they say, you're a sinner. That's why this is happening. Well, thank you, friends. I appreciate that. I mean, he's going through an awful lot of pain. And so I say, please, reveal to me what have I done? How have I deserved this? You see, I don't see that as a bad prayer, by the way. Sometimes we need help to understand what we're going through. Remember in chapter seven, verse 20, he had already asked, have I sinned? What have I done to you, old watcher of men? Why have you set me as your target so that I'm a burden to myself? He's already asking, God, listen, I'm going through my own heart. I'm going through the way that I live. I'm going through everything. Even what I think I've had plenty of time. And I just need to know. I just need to know what's going on. Verse three, does it seem good to you that you should oppress, that you should despise the work of your hands and smile on the counsel of the wicked? Does this seem right to you? This is somehow pleased you. You see, it appears that God, that Joe believes that God is afflicting him beyond what he deserves. So he's asking the question because he never thought God would be like this. On one hand, this is just not the God that he'd worshipped over his lifetime. But then, who else could be inflicting such pain on me? So that question may reveal something in Job that has come to the surface. It may be that God is more severe than he ever thought. Since Joe believed that he was innocent, then what other answer could there be? In verse four, do you have eyes of flesh? Or do you see as man sees are your days like the days of a mortal man? Are your years like the days of a mighty man? And so he's asking the Lord, why am I going through so much pain? You see, at this time, he only sees his pain as being to his own hurt. He doesn't see it as something God could use to actually refine him. That's the natural way for all of us, though none of us in this room could ever claim to go through the pain that he did. It's the natural response of man to wonder those kinds of things. I don't see why I'm going through this pain. And I don't see any good that can come out of this. You know, in the New Testament in 1 Peter chapter one, verses six and seven, the apostle Peter said this. He said, in this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith of greater worth and gold, which perishes, even though refined by fire, may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. You mean the things I'm going through are actually going to result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus is revealed? Is that what you're saying? Are you saying that the things that we endure, the trials that we go through and the pain that we experience can actually turn out to refine us and cause us to be of a pure heart than we were before? Well, somebody said trials make room for consolation. There's nothing that makes a man have a big heart like a great trial. I have found that those people who have no sympathy for their fellows who never weep for the sorrows of others, very seldom have had any woes of their own. Great hearts can be made only by great troubles. You know, my father when I was growing up, my father was very reserved in his emotions and all like the men of his generation. He just was reserved. And my father was kind of a very direct man. Some people in our church grew to know my father while my dad was still with us and they knew him as a very loving, very warm, very kind man. My wife, Marie, met my father after my father had been saved. My wife never met my dad prior to him being saved. My father was not a nice person. I'm not saying he was an evil man. I'm simply saying he wasn't a nice person. He wasn't real friendly. He was real reserved in all of that. And he didn't have a lot of affection. My father wasn't a man who showed affection at all. I've said this before, no complaint, just a statement. And it's a common statement. Many men, my age, if they're still alive, can say this. Their fathers were the same. My father never said, I love you. In all the years of my life, he died when I was 50, 50, 50, almost 51. My father told me, even as a believer in my entire life, 51 years, he used the words, I love you maybe two or three times at the most in 50 plus years. My father kissed me good night until I was four. And then at the age of four, I went to kiss my father good night and he stuck his hand out and he shook my hand and he said, men shake hands. Men don't kiss other men. That was my dad. And so my dad never said, I love you. My dad never showed any patience. My dad, if I was in the room with him and he was watching TV, my dad would not talk to me until commercials. So I had a minute to two minutes to talk to my dad. That's the truth. I don't know. I bet a lot of you guys could say the same thing in your house. It was just common. So it's no complaint. It's just an observation. That's the way it was. See, so when my dad got saved, things started changing. My dad started getting kind. My dad started getting warm. My wife, Marie, loved my dad. My dad loved Marie. The last thing I remember my father saying to me about my wife was shortly before he died. And I'll never forget it. It's something I haven't tried in my heart. My dad said to me one day just out of nowhere. It was shortly before he died. He hadn't had his heart attack or anything yet. It was just something he felt like saying. And he said to me, and this is how my dad spoke. He says, David, and that's how he spoke to me. I always thought he was mad because it sounded like he was yelling. He goes, David, he goes, you got a good woman. And that just touched my heart because he loved my wife and my wife loved him. But my wife knew the kind man. You know how my father became kind? My mother was sick. And my dad cared for my mom. All of her life, he married her at 17. My mother got ill at the age of 24. And my father loved her and cared for her from sickness to sickness to illness to illness from lupus to rheumatoid arthritis, pain after pain after pain. And it softened my father. And it taught my father how to love, how to care, how to speak, how to be warm, how to be compassionate. Sometimes even when you're not personally going through it, because I still remember my dad saying to God, put it on me, put it on me, take it off of my wife and put it on me. I can do it. I will do it. I remember my dad praying that the pain my mother was suffering would be put on him. That's how deeply he loved her. And it was her pain and her suffering and her affliction that broke my father to a humility and a compassion and a love and a kindness that he didn't have prior to that. No, I'm not saying go home and say, okay, God, give me something bad. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that sometimes we don't see that the things we go through are the things we've been praying for without knowing it. God, make me like you. God, break my heart. God, help me to have strong faith. God, teach me to love. Those are the things that God is delighted to answer. Sometimes the answer comes in a different way than we expected. The refining of our faith produces something that actually results in us giving glory to the Lord. It results in us being able to do things and to experience things. And Job, Job is crying out and he's giving his pain to the Lord, but he doesn't understand what is going on. And that's why, again, when he had said in verse three, does it seem good to you that you should oppress? You see, for the Lord to be an oppressor doesn't reflect well on God. God would ordinarily be expected to care for his creation, not harm it. When he said in verse four, do you have eyes of flesh or do you see as man sees? God, you're above men. You don't judge the way that man judges. You see, God, you judge without partiality because you know not only the facts, but you know the heart. That's what happened. Remember when God chose David to be king when Saul, the first king of Israel, had turned out to be someone whose heart wasn't perfect towards the Lord. And so God said, I'm going to replace him with somebody who has a heart after me. And when Samuel saw David for the first time in all, and he looks at David and he's saying to himself, this guy, he doesn't have a kingly appearance at all. He's a good looking, ruddy young man, a redhead and all. But his older brother, surely the Lord's anointed stands before me because when the first brother came and stood before Samuel, because Samuel had been given the responsibility of anointing the king, who was to replace Saul. Well, his oldest brother came and stood before Samuel. And the scripture says Samuel thought, well, surely the Lord's anointed stands before me because he's looking at this powerful, handsome man. And the Lord says, no, that's not him. In first Samuel 16, verse seven, the Lord said to Samuel, do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature because I've refused him. For the Lord does not see his man sees. For man looks at the outward appearance. The Lord looks at the heart. We still, by the way, look at the outward appearance. We still make judgments based on what we like about that person, and we can't see their hearts. And so as this is taking place, verse five, he says, again, are your days like the days of a mortal man? Are your years like the days of a mighty man? It is interesting. There's an inference here that that you might not see at first reading. It's he's saying, well, the way things have so swiftly fallen upon me, it feels like you haven't got, you don't want to waste time. You want to be quick to punish me. But this can't be true because you inhabit eternity and you're not in need of moving so quickly because you're eternal. You don't have short-sighted judgment. In verse six, that you should seek for my iniquity and search out my sin. Well, Job feels that God is searching every area of his life in order to find any sin. Now, if God was to do that kind of thing, then he's saying nobody could plead not guilty. Again, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. There are none who are righteous, not a single one. And since that's true, he's saying to the Lord, there's no need for you to quickly bring such pain on me. In verse seven, although you know that I'm not wicked and there is no one who can deliver from your hand. God, you've known me from the time I was before I was conceived. You know everything about me. You know, I've lived right before you. You know, I haven't lived as a hypocrite. This reminds me of something the psalmist said in Psalm 17 verse three when the psalmist said, you have tested my heart. You have visited me in the night. You have tried me and found nothing. I have purpose that my mouth shall not transgress. You know, I've lived right before you. You know, I haven't lived the life of a hypocrite. I've lived uprightly. I've honored you. I've lived with integrity before you as well as man. Again, Psalm seven verse eight, the Lord shall judge the people. Judge me, oh Lord, according to my righteousness, according to my integrity within me. You know, I lived to please you. Why are you treating me like the worst man who's ever lived? I'm helpless before you. Have pity. Have pity on me. I wonder if anybody in this room has ever felt like that. I've tried so hard. My life has changed. I've given up everything. I don't hang around with the people I used to hang around. I shared with them about you. They rejected me. I'm now pretty much alone. You see, when I first got saved, I shared with my friends. I didn't have that many and almost every one of them rejected me. Almost everyone didn't want to be around me. Didn't want anything to do with me because I was a Jesus freak and they didn't like that. So I pretty much started losing friends after friend after friend and I didn't have that many to begin with. But I made that decision. I'm going to follow you, Jesus. And I went into the army. When I went into the army, I had my ups. I had my downs, but the Lord brought somebody into my life, a guy named Danny. Danny was a Christian. Danny took me under his wing because I was a brand new Christian and he was an older brother and the Lord. And he became a very dear friend and a mentor to me and helped me to begin to see some things that I didn't see in myself and taught me to memorize Scripture and the need to read in the Bible and discipled me for a year and a half. And my life started changing. And when I got out of the army, I eventually went to Biola and started studying and started T. General Bible study in 1973 at the age of 23. And my life was radically changed, radically changed. The neighbors, the people who knew me, they saw an entirely different person, a person that was nothing like I used to be, nothing like I used to be. They saw that. I led my mom to Christ. I led my father to Christ. I led my sister to Christ. I helped my brother come to faith in Christ. My whole life was serving the Lord. And then the rug was pulled out from underneath me and I began to wonder, why? What have I done to you? Have you ever been there, ever? Where you start saying, what did I do to make you mad at me? I think part of my upbringing, maybe like some of yours says, I was raised in a particular persuasion that God is always mad. And then it doesn't take anything to get him mad at you. And I was raised that way. I was raised that way. My mom believed that. And so I was raised believing that God is always mad and there's not a single thing you can ever do to make him happy. But I thought I had when I came to Christ and so when I came to faith in Christ, my whole life changed from everything. I'll tell you this. My wife Marie would never have even thought of dating me the way I used to be. I was the guy her mom and dad said, stay away from. I was that guy. I was that guy. And that this girl here to fall in love with this man here had to be a radical transformation, right? There had to be. I had to be an entirely different kind of man than I was. She would have never dated me. And then I had some disappointments. Then I had some pain, some real deep emotional hurts. And I began to cry out, God, why? Why? Why? Did you allow my pain? Why did you hurt me? I blame the Lord. No, I'm no joke. But I think it's a human response when we don't understand what God is doing. And Job certainly is responding like that. I've tried to please you. Why are you treating me this way? In verse seven, who can deliver from your hand? Who's bigger than God? In Deuteronomy 32, verse 39, the Bible says, now see that I, even I am He, there is no God besides me. I kill and I make a life. I wound and I heal. Nor is there any who can deliver from my hand. That's the God you worship. So I'm asking you, deliver me. Because if you don't, nobody else can. In verse 80, he says, your hands have made me and fashioned me in intricate unity. Yet you would destroy me. You have made me. You formed me. You fashioned me. You literally, you produced me. And he says, you have made me. God creates each of us personally and individually. Keep that in mind. By the way, I wonder how many in this room would ever wish that you were somebody else? You know, Don McClure once said it in a way that I've never forgotten. He says, have you ever wished that you were somebody else? And he's speaking to a group of pastors and a lot of times pastors say, oh, I wish I could preach like that or teach like that. Have you ever wished that you were somebody else? He says, have you ever stopped to think that if, if you were exactly like somebody else and one of you wasn't necessary? I like that. If you were exactly like somebody else, one of you is not necessary. God made you individually and God made you personally and God formed you. And he takes responsibility for that. And he's saying that you have made us personally. You have made us individually. You have tenderly made me as the inference, but it seems now that you're destroying me, the word destroy means to devour. He says in verse nine, he says, remember, I pray that you have made me like clay and will you turn me into dust again? Your amazing creativity brought me into existence. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Will you take the vessel of clay that you made and grind it into powder? In verse 10, did you, did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese, clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews? It's interesting when he says, did you not pour me out like milk? The phrase pour me out is in reference to the formation of an embryo. That's what the words, those words mean. When it says curdled me like cheese, it's a picture of a child being formed in the womb. When he said, clothed with skin and flesh, bones and sinew, that speaks of a child that is in development. And it echoes Psalm 139 verses 13 through 16. You created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. You might want to mark that down because you too have been wonderfully, you've been fearfully made. That God is fully aware of you too. And God is fully aware of the babies in the womb. The way that just a moment ago, Jared was sharing with you, please keep his wife, Isabelle and him in prayer because she's about to give birth. That baby that is being formed in the womb is already known by God. Before one of the days have been lived, God already knows all of them. Before one word has been formed on that baby's mouth, before it's even capable of speaking, God already knows every word that will come out of that mouth. And the Bible makes it very clear that we are fearfully and we are wonderfully made. And as Christians, that's why we are so pro-life because God is fearfully and wonderfully made us because he is the Creator. He says in verse 12, he says, you have granted me life and favor and your care has preserved my spirit. You not only gave me a body, you gave me a soul. You gave me favor. You gave me blessings, the blessings that come from your hand. You have protected me when I've encountered danger. It's you who has delivered me. Like Psalm 9418 says, if I say my foot slips, your mercy, oh Lord, will hold me up. In verse 13, and these things you have hidden in your heart, I know that this was with you. I know that you have cared for me. I know that you've blessed me, but I also believe that my present trouble and pain were also in your plan for me. And this is all part of what you intended for my life and my sorrow is because after all the protective care you have given me, it seems now you intended to hurt me. Once again, Job is speaking from the reservoir of pain and notice he doesn't have any hope for his future. That's because all that he had at that time and all he could see at that time is pain. He doesn't know. And this is something else that I think we need to remember. He doesn't know that God will turn his sorrow into joy. God does that, doesn't he? Jesus said it in an interesting way. He said, when a woman is about to give birth, there's nothing but pain, but she forgets promptly after the child is brought in to the world. Listen, if God had men give birth, we'd be extinct. I don't understand that. Marie, when she gave birth to Corinne, 33 hours of labor. I mean, when she was going through back pain, she had this back labor. And I had gone and I had become an expert at coaching. And they said that when the baby, if the baby's face is towards the spine, the head is there, it's going to create great pain. And so they told us to put our fists. Some of you guys know this. Put your fist where the baby's head is and press. And I can remember when Marie was going through these contractions and they have that monitor that goes the one we had in the old days. It was like zero to 10. And it was pegging at 10. And a duration of that contraction was long. And I was watching her and I said, Oh, God, Oh, God, thank you. This is not me. No, I didn't say. Thank you. And I took my fist like I was taught. And I, and you could, you could feel her a little skull. And I put my hand and I pressed Marie's back so hard that the bed she was on went into the wall. I pressed it into the wall and I pressed as hard as I could. And I held it for some time. And finally the baby's head turned. And my hand actually sunk into Marie's back. And Marie was relieved. And I'm watching this. All this pain 33 hours, 33 hours. When we went in, when Marie was about to go in and be brought into the hospital, there was a young woman and her husband in the same room that we went into. And, and I'm sitting with Marie. And right next to us is this bed because they're about to bring the woman into her own room. And her husband is standing there. I'll never forget this. And she turned and it was very dramatic. And she yells at her husband, go away. And she's yelling, go away, go away. I don't want you to see me like this. And the guy doesn't know what to do. He starts freaking out. And I'm just sitting there watching him. And he's kind of like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Should I leave? And that was my introduction to fatherhood. And after all of those hours, 33 hours, I never want to go through that again. No, the baby finally comes. And she was a forceps baby. They had to twist her and pull her out. And with the forceps, pinched her temples. And they were indented. And they brought her out and they quickly put her under that warming light, dried her up. And they put that thing in her nose and pulled out the fluids in her throat, pulled it out. And she's all like that. Ugliest a day as long. I'm looking at this thing. I'm saying, I'm not quite sure this is what I ordered. And Marie is like, she's just exhausted all these hours, right? And they hand that baby to me. And we have that moment where I bring the baby to Marie and we named her. I thought, man, we'll just have one. Nobody would do this again. But we did. You women are crazy. You know, you're more than one. She had four. One after another. We had five pregnancies in six and a half years, five pregnancies. We lost one in the womb. We had four live births and we have one baby waiting in heaven for us. But, you know, like Jesus said, he said they forget the pain because the life has been brought into the world. And I really believe very strongly that the things that we go through, they're the things that help us to understand the ways of the Lord. And he's learning something about God that pain actually can end up with something that is His joy. Well, I'm going through pain right now. Job is saying, I don't have hope for the future. I can't see how you can turn my sorrow into joy. But remember in the book of James in chapter five, verse 11, indeed, we count them blessed to endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seeing the end intended by the Lord that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful. God had something He was doing. He says in verse 14, if I sin, then you mark me and will not equip me of my iniquity. People's sins are not ignored by you. You have an awareness of a record of them. In Revelation 20, verse 12, it says, I saw the dead small and great stand before God and the books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books according to their works. You mark me. You know, you've kept a record of every sin. That's why I'm being punished. There's no way I can ever be forgiven. If you don't forgive me, nobody can and nobody will. You see, without someone to atone for my sin, it's not forgiven. But that's why we Christians are aware that God sent Jesus to be the Lamb of God who atoned for our sin. In Hebrews 812, I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, their sins and their iniquities. I will remember no more. He says in verse 15, if I am wicked, woe to me, even if I am righteous, I cannot lift up my head. I am full of disgrace. See my misery. If I'm an ungodly hypocrite, as my friends say I am, I'm helpless and I'm miserable, and I'm going to pay the due penalty of my life of sin for the wages of sin is death. But if I'm righteous, I cannot lift up my head in pride. I have no way that I could boast. In verse 16, he says, if my head is exalted, you hunt me like a fierce lion. And again, you show yourself awesome against me. You're continually pursuing me like a lion, stalking game. You show yourself awesome against me. This is a picture of a lion not killing the victim. When it says you show yourself awesome, it's a picture of a lion not killing the victim, but returning to hurt it even more. You show yourself awesome against me because and I can't understand why you're doing this. He said in verse 17, you renew your witnesses against me and increase your indignation toward me. Changes in war are ever with me. The witnesses against Job would be the various calamities that he's been enduring. This was not the only, not only the loss of everything, it's also the miserable comforters that have plagued him. And he says in verse 17, changes in war are ever with me. The word change is interesting. Changes can speak of changes of clothing, but also speaks of the changing of the guard. The point he's making is it seems that one attack leads to another by fresh troops, great pain that continued to come upon me. Why, verse 18, then have you brought me out of the womb? Oh, that I had perished and know I had seen me. I would have been as though I had not been. I would have been carried from the womb to the grave. Are not my days few? See, leave me alone that I may take a little comfort before I go to the place from which I shall not return to the land of darkness and the shadow of death. A land as dark as darkness itself as the shadow of death without any order or even the light is like darkness. God, let me die. I can't take this anymore. Why did you take me out of my mother's womb and allow me to suffer like this? Stop attacking me. Stop hurting me. Give me some peace. And then let me die. Just let me die. What a heartbreaking thing to read in Scripture. Just leave me alone. I can't fight with you. I can't argue with you. I have no one to plead my case with you. I've tried to love you. I've tried to serve you. I lost everything, material things. I can get them back, but I lost my sons and my daughters. I lost my health. My own wife is saying, first God and die. I'm sitting on this heap of ashes and there are worms in my skin and my body is in such pain. Later we'll see that he's become the song of children who mock him. And he says there was a time when I would walk into a room and the men would stand in respect and look what I've become. God, I can't take this anymore. I've done my best. I believe that I've been innocent. I don't understand why it's one attack after another. So I'm just asking you as I complain. I'm just saying, God, let me die. Take me out of my misery, please. Why did you bring me out of my mother's womb if it's going to end up with me suffering like this? Please stop attacking me. You know, it was Satan's attacks and the onslaught and the continuation of those attacks began to undermine his belief that God cared for him. His hope in God had given way to sorrow, despair. I just want this to end. He didn't curse God, but he realized that he didn't know him as well as he had thought. In verses 21 and 22 he speaks of the land of darkness. He speaks of a shadow of death. It gives us insight into what was once thought of the regions of the dead. There are two ways to look at this. One, when he speaks concerning verse 22, a land as dark as darkness, a selfish shadow of death without any order, where even the light is like darkness. Some commentators say that he's speaking of a body in a tomb or in a grave, and that there's no light because the dirt or the stone has covered that, so it's pitch black. But others say that this is something that relates to what would be called the regions of the dead. The region beyond the grave, and at that time they thought of this region beyond the grave as a place of complete darkness, a place where no light ever shines, a place of misery, a place with the complete absence of God, or anything that is good. Jesus described this place in different ways. He spoke of utter darkness. He spoke of where the worm dies not, and the flame is never extinguished. It's a way of speaking of the other world, the regions beyond. And he's simply speaking of it that way. He's saying, I'll die and I'll go into that place. It would seem that he thinks that the Lord has rejected him, so there's nothing else waiting for him. So he says, I'll go to that place, a place I won't return from, a land of darkness, shadow of death, land as dark as darkness itself, shadow of death without any order, or even the light is like darkness. God is light. In him is no darkness whatsoever, and where God isn't is only complete darkness. So the picture is, I'm going to go into this other region, and seeing that you have forsaken me, you've punished me, you think that I'm evil, and at this point I have no more hope. So I might as well just end now and move forward into what is waiting me, because at this point his despair is so great that he's thinking that would be better than what he is presently feeling. So I don't want to leave you in hell, because if I just shut up now, that's where we're going to be. And Jesus speaks of Lazarus and the rich man, and how Lazarus was poor and he begged at the gate of this rich man, that he might even eat just the scraps from this rich man's table, and the rich man would daily have banquets. And he was dressed beautifully as a very, very wealthy man, but both of them died. And Jesus said that Lazarus was taken to the bosom of Abraham, paradise, and the rich man opened up his eyes in Hades. And the rich man saw Abraham and said, Father Abraham, Father Abraham, because Lazarus was there being comforted by Abraham, but the rich man said, I am being tormented in this flame. He said, please just send Lazarus here, that he might dip the tip of his finger in water and place it on my tongue before I'm dying of thirst. And Abraham said, oh, you had your good things while you were on earth, and Lazarus had his bad. But now Lazarus is comforted, and you are reaping what you've sown. Well, I'll send him to tell my, my, my brothers, have someone go and tell my brothers that they may not come to this place. No. No. Even if a man were to rise from the dead, they wouldn't believe. Obviously, that was a parable Jesus gave pertaining to the reality of the fact that he himself would be resurrected, and people would still reject that. They would still not believe, even though one had been raised from the dead. But the promise there is what I want us to close with, because Joe right now is thinking only of the worst case. But he hasn't yet been brought to the place where he says, I heard of you with the hearing of my ear, but now I see you with the seeing of my eye. I walked in faith, trusting you, not really knowing you deeply and personally, but you have revealed yourself to me. And that's why I abhor myself in, in, in sackcloth and ashes. And I'll keep my mouth silent because my eyes have finally beheld the one that I worshiped in faith. So he doesn't end up in this place that he's wishing he was in. He ends up, well, he's with the Lord right now, just enjoying his presence. And do you think that Job regrets a minute of what he went through? No, I don't think so. He became the man he wanted to be through the things the Lord allowed in his life. And you're going to be the person that you want to be if you want to be like him. By the way, the Lord will allow things into your life. And he will make you into his image slowly, but surely. And some of the ways of the Lord are not the ways that we think he should do that. But he does it that way because it's the best way and it makes you into what you want to be, which is a follower of Jesus Christ and conformed to his image.