 Biggest problems that we have as a young generation and one of the reasons why marriages many times fail is because they start wrong in the first place When relationships are done wrong and they lead into marriage that marriage many times will suffer a lot of headaches and a lot of trouble And for us it's important to learn how to do relationships in the first place I know we have a lot of singles here We have a lot of people who are single ready to mingle and we have some who already mingling and today We want to just kind of bring few things into your perspective of how to do relationships that could bring you blessing God's way and you may say well, I want to do my way. Well, your way is not gonna necessarily give you the greatest joy and blessing Let me just give you a few simple factors on how to find the perfect person for your life I was like that's it now I wake up All this marriage stuff That's for my parents, man. I want to know how to find my rib You want the prime rib and the perfect rib? Write this down few factors. You must consider the first factor is the clock factor The clock factor is this is you always have to find out is this your time for relationship? Now you may say well, I'm 26. It is my time. I'm not talking about your biological clock I'm not talking about the number that's on your license ID What it says how old you are but what I mean by a clock is the season you are in your life Are you ready for a relationship full-time school full-time college? You're not ready You don't have time for coffee. You don't have time for your devotions. You're not ready for relationship Maybe you just broke up or maybe you've you've been in a relationship and it ended and you finally coming out of it You cannot go into another relationship right away because you will struggle One violin stops making music the strings are still attached When the relationship ends music stops But the strings are still there and People need to take at least from six to twelve months to untouch the strings Especially if the relationship went deep of the relationship went into ungodly paths Factor number two community factor community factor means if If it's your time for relationships The best way to do that is not going and starting your online dating profile It's to become a person who is socially accessible and the person who pays attention to other people for example in church in some social gatherings and My my may point about this is this is the best way to get to know a person is through relating with them not dating them The biggest fallacy about dating is this is that if I date them, I will know them better It's true. You will get to know certain facts. You won't know otherwise The problem with dating is that when you go into dating mode to get to know someone They usually put on the best facade and don't judge them because you do exactly the same I mean what kind of an idiot amongst of us will go into a date to reveal the skeletons Even if you will reveal your skeletons, it's to prove to them how honest you are and to impress them with the fact How bold you are and it's only because you know they have more than you do But no person in their wise thinking will ever reveal their true colors and if you do you're too cheap Because none of us should reveal everything right the way the best way to get to know someone Become their friend and watch them from a distance. How do they treat minors? How do they treat their parents? How do they treat their little sister? How do they treat the waiter who didn't bring them the proper food? Well, how do they treat the old lady who is driving really slow? And that's and that's how you will know their true character Somebody say man Factor number three. It's the Christ factor Well, it's your time to have a relationship with someone and this is the one that usually people stumble over The Bible says not to be unequally yoked with the unbelievers. What this means is that if you are a follower of Christ You cannot be Choosing someone to be in relationship with who is not a follower of Christ The God is not being racist God is not being a hater God is not being rude God is not putting limits on anybody. God is just wants to make it plain and fair God does not want another person to suffer because you're dragging them to church on Sunday And they want to stay home and sleep It's unfair for the person who doesn't follow Jesus to date you who follows Jesus And it's also unfair for you because most of the time if your faith is really important to you You will be at odds with them instead of working with them and this is the excuse I've heard young people say Well, he believes in God Did you ask which God? Because Mormons believe in God Jehovah's Witnesses believe in God Muslims believe in God Catholics believe in God Baptist believe in God Pentecostals believe in God We all believe in God The problem happens is when we start talking about what kind of God we believe in and that's where all the confusion begins The Bible says demons believe in God. You sure didn't want to date a demon Believing in God is too broad. Do they follow Jesus Christ? Is Jesus Christ their God or just a wonderful teacher? If you're a follower of Jesus You cannot settle for a relationship with someone who just believes in God Or maybe someone who believes in all religions or someone who believes in spirituality Which is very common today in our culture and If somebody believes in spirituality meaning all paths really mean the same thing It's all paths to the same God Well, the problem you're going to have is this one is the follower of Christ Jesus said I am the only way to God So imagine the conflict you're having with someone you're dating who believes in all things who is very Spiritual very disciplined person who believes there are many paths to God and here you are being so intolerant saying only Jesus is the way to God Maybe you're sitting here today, and you're not a follower of Jesus. Please do yourself a big favor Don't ever date someone who's a follower of Jesus. They will be praying secretly for your salvation They will be bribing you to come to church They will be on Friday night Fasting and praying for your salvation and you'll be thinking they love you They're gonna be dragging you to church all the time. Listen, you don't need that Find someone who's just like you don't fall for that trap. I know they're godly You say what I want to be like that if you're not like that Become like that because of you and because of Jesus not because of them Why do you need somebody that you love drag you always somewhere save yourself a headache find somebody like you And you'll be happier without them Number four the comparability factor It's culture and age The oldest bridegroom recorded is a hundred fifteen years of age from Puerto Rico married a sixteen years old girl who is 99 his junior pretty radical So the only here where I'm saying is comparability factor is you have to have this similar age Actually statistics says if your age is very different your probability of divorce is very high And so you have to have a similar age and also you have to keep in mind that our cultures have a huge effect on us Now I know that we live in a nation where there is a melting pot of all cultures and people love to bring women Especially men they love to bring women from other countries, you know, and there's completely fine It's completely awesome. There's nothing wrong with that But we must understand is the culture and the age has a huge effect on relationship Culture is so much more than it's eating spicy food Culture is the way you think culture is the way you perceive the world Culture is the way you're gonna raise your kids culture is the way you're gonna manage your money culture is the way where you gonna buy your cars Culture is where you're gonna buy your shoes Culture is where you're gonna buy your clothes, culture is where you're gonna go on your vacation and culture is the way you're gonna perceive everything in your world and so even people who live in United States for a long time you must understand your culture has an effect on you. I'm not saying if somebody is from a different culture stay away from, no, no, no but when you are mingling with somebody from another culture don't be blinded by your infatuation, thinking culture does not matter. The chemistry plus character factor, chemistry plus character factor what this means is that you have to have somebody that you like, somebody that you are in a relationship you have to have feelings for them. Now I understand for most of us, duh, really Vlad, did you have to mention that? But sometimes in the religion or in church people become very funny when a guy especially finds a girl that they become good friends with and they become texting buddies and they start winning things on their apps you know, words with friends and so they become champions there and they feel this deep connection and he begins to feel like, man, she's an awesome girl and so I would meet with the guy and say, do you like her? He said, she's fine, okay, she has a good heart I'm like, well, your mom has a good heart but you're not gonna date your mom and when I would ask, is she attractive to you? She's fine, she's okay and that's not good if you're a guy, you have to understand it's good when the girl has a very good heart and first of all, you don't even know what kind of heart she has until you get married to her trust me son, trust me just because she responds to your text messages with emoji that does not mean she has a good heart there's a lot more to her heart than the way she talks to you and all the married men said some of you are afraid for your wives after service like I gotta go home with my wife I gotta be careful what I say in this church conscience factor is when you begin a relationship with someone, you have to follow your gut if in your heart, you don't have peace that means God is not leading you into that relationship and you have to stay away from it you say, but he's so perfect he's too good to be true if your conscience is not giving you rest you're walking into trouble God's way of protecting you is troubling your conscience this is what usually people do is they go into a relationship and they're like, man, I've been praying so much for this I've been praying for her, I've been praying for him I've been just praying, I've been fasting especially when people go into, I've been fasting three days usually tell people this, when you're in a relationship pray about it less fast about it less listen more because when you're praying remember what you're praying about you're filled with infatuation you can't hear it well you have to calm down your infatuation and listen to your conscience because your conscience will warn you about things your feelings and your eyes don't see right now there was a guy named in the Bible named Joseph something happened to Joseph Joseph was a good looking man and the Bible says that the woman that he was serving their house, the wife of the husband that he was serving, started to like him so Joseph was in a dilemma, she was married and he was single and one day Joseph walks into the house and this woman begins to flirt with him and says hey, come and lie with me, let's have sex Joseph says, hey, come on, we can't do this your husband and stuff, this is wrong you're a married woman, she's like you don't understand, my marriage is struggling I have never been with a man for a long time it's gonna be better than my husband nobody understands like you understand and she begins to flatter him with these words I'm coming up with these things, probably that's what she did and the Bible says, Joseph obeys his conscience and he says, I can't do this because this is against my conscience he's like, well, what do you mean this is against your conscience but this is against me if you're not gonna do it with me and he's like, you know what, I'd rather upset you temporarily but not upset God and my conscience because I'm gonna have to live with my conscience for the rest of my life she pushes him and this is what happens this charming woman who says, I want you you're so sexy, you're so handsome you're the one for me flips into a witch when she fabricates a story and says, curate me what? you're capable of doing that? he spent few years in hardship because he obeyed his conscience but he protected himself from a lifetime of living with that witch how did he protect himself? was there red signs? it was inside next factor is the factor the coach factor the coach factor is this one is that when you find someone that you like you find someone that you have peace about someone who has your same beliefs someone you got to know a little bit at a distance seeing who this person really is someone you have feelings for don't just go in and start dating them and come to your home group or come to your pastor he says, hey pastor, here's my girlfriend just letting you know so that you won't be wondering why we're sitting together and holding our hands together pastor, just before you find out on Facebook that we are in relationship that my status went from it's complicated to dating I just want to carry you along, let you know this is my girl and people then use this phrase and say, oh, I have mentors the only difference is that your mentors are only told what you're doing you never come to them for advice when you have feelings for someone you don't come to them and say, hey I know I prayed about it I have peace about it this is a godly person seems like I just really think things will work out and I really have chemistry flowing toward this person but I just want to get an outside opinion what do you think about it? what would you say? you don't have to take their word 100% for it but it will be good to have a feedback so that you'll be protected many people will never have that coach factor instead of having a coach they just simply go in with their feelings and then they come back to their coach to cry about their feelings