 Item number SCP-782 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures All known copies of SCP-782 are to be kept at storage site. Copies are currently in storage. The total number of existing copies is unknown. The Bookworms is tasked with searching libraries, used bookstores, and thrift stores for copies still in circulation. Copies of SCP-782 must be stored in a low-humidity environment to discourage decomposition. If possible, personnel handling copies of SCP-782 should not be capable of reading English. English literate personnel are to treat SCP-782 as a Gabriel 7-level memetic threat. Description SCP-782 is an anonymously published self-help book entitled, Three Easy Steps to an All-New You. No author is listed. At its publisher closed in 1991, as was a so-called vanity publisher, many individuals associated with it claimed to remember such a book, or indeed most of the books they published. In addition, all of its records were destroyed when its CEO burnt down the company's head office in an attempt to commit insurance fraud. Due to these factors, SCP-782's unknown origins should not be considered paranormal in nature. SCP-782 is read by an individual capable of understanding its content and message. It has a tight P memetic effect upon the victim. SCP-782 alters the chemistry, connections, and even architecture of the brain. SCP-782's effect occurs in three stages. The three stages occur in various areas of the body over time, generally taking seven to fourteen months, though, rarely, it can happen in over less than a single month. The first stage of the effect is that the victim begins to feel numbness in random places on the body. The numbness eventually fades. The second stage of the effect is that the victim is no longer able to control those areas. The affected individual has no way of influencing the movement of the affected body parts, beyond manipulating the body parts the affected areas are attached to. The victim is still capable of sensation through affected areas. Essentially, the affected areas can send signals to the brain, but not receive them. The second stage is typically brief, generally lasting one to three days. In the third and final stage of SCP-782's effect, the affected areas begin to engage in autonomous movement. The movement of the affected areas may be completely at odds with the desires of the victim, and affected body parts frequently engage in activity uncharacteristic of the victim's personality. The body parts will attempt to achieve goals and perform tasks independent of the desires of the victim. If hands, mouth, and throat all become affected, communication becomes difficult, if not impossible. Once communicative organs become affected, they will almost invariably begin to attempt communication on behalf of another mind. At this point, it becomes clear that the various affected body parts are not independent from each other, but controlled by another will. Eventually, the total body is controlled by the secondary will, which becomes the dominant consciousness of the body. The new personality shares no memories with the old, although they will share all of its subconscious memories, i.e. skills and language. The new personality is no more likely to be malicious than a member of the general population. Document 782-1 The following document is a collection of case reports of SCP-782 incidents, from the notes of Dr. R- Case 782-AAA Victim is 47 years old, male, Caucasian, no history of mental illness, local priest, campaigned against same-sex marriage bill in state of... checked into local hospital for mysterious numbness. Shift progression began in hands. Victim demonstrated an apparent sudden increase in artistic talent. Occasionally, the hands draw imagery described by the victim as homoerotic. Shift progressed next to genital area. Victim reported unwanted sexual arousal described as homosexual. Shift progressed. Victim eventually took on life. Autopsy concluded cause of death due to suffocating on tongue, detached via laceration by the teeth. Case 782-ABJ Victim is 16 years old, female, of African descent, diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, not considered relevant. Checked into local hospital for mysterious numbness. Shift progression began in throat. Victim would vocally beg for help, claiming to be trapped inside a strange body she couldn't control. Victim confirmed through written communication that she was no longer in control of her speech. Speech would be distressed, despite a lack of corresponding body language. Shift progressed to rest of body. Speech became less troubled as more body parts came under the new consciousness as control. As the victim's hands shifted quickly, the mental condition of the original personality for the final year of its existence is unknown. Girl administered class A amnestics, returned to family, currently living normal life, albeit under foundation observation. Case 782-ACB Victim is 32 years old, male, Asian. No history of mental illness. Checked into local hospital due to sudden inexplicable blindness. Victim regained eyesight, returned home. Shift very quickly spread to hands and arms. Due to unknown reasons, victim did not seek medical attention. Shift very quickly spread to legs. Victim data expunged, wife and daughter against his will. Begged responding police to kill him. Currently in Foundation custody at Site- Shift is not yet total. Document SCP-782-A For the purposes of research personnel, the following is an excerpt from SCP-782. As it is not being read directly from SCP-782, reading the following document is harmless. The first step to an all-new you is rejecting the old you. You've got to throw away all your baggage, all your hangups, discard all the failings of the old you. The second step is to find the new you. The best way to find the new you is to look deep inside, find your childhood dreams and your secret fantasies, and embrace that as the new you. The third step is to embrace the new you. You need to allow the new you to completely replace the old you so that the old you is no more. Lesson complete. If you missed the previous orientation, go watch SCP-781, Unwitting Dream Shaper, right now. Or for the complete course, watch this playlist.