 So, we can go through introductions of everyone here who's playing, I'll go ahead and go first. I am Kenneth, I run the podcast SCP Play. We run a tabletop RPG called Monster of the Week and we do an actual play podcast that's themed in the SCP universe. So that's sort of how I got in contact with Eric through that and then by extension contact with everyone playing here today. So let's go ahead and start from the top of the list, Alphalance aka Kyle, would you like to introduce yourself? No thanks. No, okay. Moving on. No, I'm kidding. Alright, so I am Kyle or Alphalance either or is fine by me. I use he, him. I am Toad King's brother, younger brother but taller. I voice DJ Skip on our podcast Foundation After Midnight Radio. He was one who initially just was like, hey, check out this like cool thing and like read up on it. Just explored into that, Toad King really dived into it and brought me along on this awesome adventure and getting to meet cooler and cooler people and getting to still do cool projects like this and then being the not new or greener Foundation member to his expert level. So I'm super excited to be here. I do voice acting and D&D and to get to bring that into the Foundation universe is very exciting. So happy to be here. I'm Anna or Rad. She her I am an operational staff member on the wiki and I write some stuff on there and I'm the writer and director of the podcast find us alive, which is a narrative audio fiction thing that we've been working on for a while. So yeah, I'm also very excited to be here. I love tabletop games. So hooray. Could could you say that with more enthusiasm? Sorry. Sorry. I'm really nervous. No, you're okay. No need to be nervous. Yeah, I actually am really excited. I'm yeah. No, we've but yeah, we've both been talking about this that my name is Tosh hi or Tosh draws is my handle everywhere. She her and I actually am on the I think the primary scp thing I'm involved with would be part of that same podcast that Anna writes and directs find us alive and I voice Dr. Klein on there. And I also have provided like some voices in different scp related shorts and games and things in development right now. So I'm kind of just like floating around in different pieces of media, but I really just love that stuff. And I'm a big tabletop fan as well. I'm also on the Cosmo tabletop podcast is the other thing that I do. So yeah, really excited to check out this the infinite IKEA was always one of my favorites to begin with. So being able to play in it is going to be really fun. Hey everybody, I am Sherman username the sherm Dr. OC Dr. Theron Sherman, he him. And I run the site 42 YouTube channel and ticktocks, which are focused on both bringing new people into the scp community and introducing them to the concepts, as well as showcasing I say lesser known scps, but it's just the scps that aren't your run of the mill 682049 that the general public already knows about from the memes. I do all sorts of voice acting and acting and directing and producing whatever I can get my hands on. I love tabletop gaming and I'm very freaking excited to bring my wacky wacky character to this game with you guys. So we did one shot or sessions with each of you individually this is a one shot. So each of your characters, we left off where you were in the infinite IKEA and we're headed towards a flare that just got shot into the air. I have a short intro here that I will get through and then we'll get you into the situation and you can each describe your characters. So scp 3008 more commonly known as the infinite IKEA appears to be a normal IKEA from the exterior shining in its capitalistic splendor. However, as the name suggests, the interior is infinite, at least as far as the scp foundation or the trapped denizens of the store are able to tell. Additionally, the regular staff has been replaced with faceless, disproportionate humanoids. They all still wear the typical yellow and blue striped garb of IKEA employees, but they are faceless and seem to be entirely consistent of just some skin like material that continues all the way through the body. There's no bones. These entities, while terrifying, are mostly docile during the daytime in the store and all the lights are on. But when nighttime comes around and the lights are turned off, they become hostile. Within the store, chaos and conflict commonly plague the tribespeople of the interior. As they clash over the control of the territories and struggle to survive off of vending machines and meatballs, they are constantly met with resistance. The situation we find on this occasion is no exception due to the rule of chaos within the infinite IKEA. We see a flare that is rising and burning brightly in the night or unlit sky. We also see the disfigured grotesque, blank, empty, non-existent faces of some of these employees that are in the surrounding area, peer from behind shelves and pillars to begin moving in this direction. The pillow pilferers, a tribe that has long been in conflict with the canopy tribe, fired this flare into the air while standing safely atop some shelves in the area. Their goal was to attract the abominations to this area and destroy the canopy tribe, who had foolishly gone out at night and were on the ground below the shelves currently. As the pillow pilferers gaze upward with smiling faces at the flare that they have just shot up that is burning into the air, they then gaze back downward and see that the canopy tribe members that they had seemingly just brought demise upon are no longer there, they've just completely disappeared without a trace. The pillow pilferers frantically look around as they realize that the force that they had just attracted to this area now would be focused on them. Some distance away from these events, four people who had been weaving between shelves to head towards this flare either fleeing from some danger, seeking to provide some assistance to the people who might be in trouble, or just wandering in search of meatballs. They are all heading in this direction, and they all enter a clearing where there's a display of like a living room out in the open, it looks very nice, but you're all more focused on each of these new people that has stepped out into this clearing. The first person who's stepping out into this spot is the last remaining member of the canopy tribe who is determined to grasp at a chance at redemption through heroically saving the rest of his tribe from this danger. Stanley, would you describe yourself? Sure, so I am playing Stanley, a character that I, if any of you have seen a confinement might recognize from the Lord Bung series, I happen to voice him, and I'm very happy to reprise the role in this situation. Stanley is pretty average looking, aside from the Ikea canopy tribe tattoos he has on himself printed in a light blue ink, looking akin to instructions across his body, arrows and lines tracing across him as marks of his now gone tribe. The last remaining member, Stanley carries around with him the piece of equipment that got him his name, which is a Stanley knife, a box cutter like blade that he has roped onto a long spear to turn into either a short dagger or a tool of some kind, still functioning and has worked for him as much as it was a first seen as a scar and later became his tool of choice. He has survived inside of the infinite Ikea for an unknown amount of time, just so long that he hardly remembers the life he had before, but also wasn't much of a life to really remember anyways. Okay, so he is the first that steps out into this clearing. The second is a clown who is in search of a savoury destiny. Sherm, would you like to describe Cletus to us? Into the clearing walks a thin, curmudgeonly clown. If you want a visual reference in your mind, imagine Old Man McGucket from Gravity Falls in yellow and black striped clown apparel, fully painted face, and the wildest, angriest eyes. His pants are far too baggy, and you can see that they contain things that should not go in your pants. And he walks hunched over carrying a, what I believe is currently a frying pan in one hand and a baton twirlers baton in the other, and he is wheezing because he did not expect to have running in this adventure. He left his bike at the entrance. Yeah, rookie mistake. The third who steps into this clearing is a foundation employee that has been tasked with the recovery of lost assets. Tosh, would you please describe Martha for us? Martha is like, okay, she's like six foot, I think. Yeah, she's just this very bookish, lanky looking woman, huge mess of reddish brown hair and these big old glasses. The image I really like that kind of conveys the vibe is Dr. Octavius, like Liv Octavius from Spider-Verse, though she is currently carrying a very bloody axe, I think? I can't remember. Is that, that's about where we left off? Did we? Hold on. Did you just murder someone? Did you have a session with someone else? No, I... Hold on. Where did, where did we leave you off? Okay, wait, dude, the weird Ikea employees, they don't bleed, do they? No, they do not. Okay, so it's not... I was gonna say, did you kill someone? Not bloody, it's not bloody, but it is menacing, I guess. So it's very at odds with her bookish appearance and everything, like she really looks like the most run-of-the-mill, like receptionist lady you would expect to encounter, so yeah. That is Martha. Yeah, I was gonna say. You have like recognizable chunks of, or like torn material of an Ikea employee shirt. Yeah, we'll go with that then. Yeah. Covered in Ikea chunks, TM. Had me scared for a second there, I thought you could have accidentally had an anomalous session with someone else where you just went on a rampage. Oh, God. That's not too late. Okay, and then our fourth and final one who, they don't step into the room, so she drives in, it's a very determined suburban mother that is driving a Honda Odyssey through the store. So, Anna, would you describe Karen for us, please? So, just to be very specific, it is a matte black Honda Odyssey. Sorry, I'll put that on my notes. It's been a rattle can. And if you look at it from the outside, you can see the various pointed things that are just stacked up in the back of it, but very, in a very organized way. And sitting in the front seat is a early middle-aged white woman with long, blondish hair that was probably curled at one point and is no longer. And she looks a little bit like her smile has been stuck to her face with butterfly pins, and she's wearing a striped black-and-white blouse. I did not know about Sherm's color scheme, but apparently we have the same one. And she steps out of her car holding a harpoon gun. Okay, so the situation is you all were heading towards the flare, and you're now all here, so go for it. Are we just standing in the same clearing, the exact same space, like facing each other? Yeah, four-way intersection. Yeah, pretty much. Can I roll to read a bad situation? Sure. I want to know how... did we see those people disappear? No, so you're not quite up to this yet. You're some distance away, probably like a hundred or so feet away. Okay, well I rolled a two, so that reflects lack of knowledge on that. No, two plus one, so three. So on read a bad situation, your total is less than seven, so that is a complete failure. On a miss, you misread the situation, you might reveal tactical details to your enemies. Okay, then I'm going to retcon, she doesn't get out of the car, because she doesn't realize that it would be dangerous to be heard in the car, so she keeps driving. She just keeps going, okay. So you're just gonna keep on heading forward, and as the vehicle keeps rumbling forward, the other three people are sort of left there. Do any of us have to jump out of the way? No, she's... I don't think you're not flooring in, are you? No, she's like inching forward. Can I see them? Yes, I think you rolled up your windows as soon as you saw them. And locked the door? Yes, as Karen do. Who's the closest person to me? Probably the clown. Okay, not him, who's the next closest person to me? The foundation lady who looks like a receptionist type demeanor, I guess. I don't think Karen would want to talk to the person with face tattoos, so... Probably not, no. So I'm going to drive closer to her, and I'm going to roll my window down and wave. Hi, excuse me, excuse me. Hello, man. Yeah, hi, my name is Karen. Did you fire off that flare just now? Was that you? No, I'm afraid that wasn't me. I was... I'm here to find out too, I guess. Okay, okay. I can clear out some space in my front seat if you would like a ride. I can use as many people on my team as I possibly can get. I ignore the clown. Okay. See, now the clown though is not ignoring you. Because you just said out loud that your name is Karen. Do I need to take my volume down? I'm hearing it. Probably a little bit. Yeah, your mic's like peeking, it's like blowing out a little bit. Alright, let's try this again. Let's take it down a bit, how we sound, and how we sound, and are we feeling pretty good yet? Do your normal enthusiasm. Well, this clown here is about to come for you. Yeah, still for the doubt, still for the doubt. So much for the doubt. Redlining the shit out of it. Look at your audio and look what the waveform looks like. It's probably blowout. It sounds like blowout. My audition is reading that I am after having turned it down between NEG 21 and NEG 27. Oh, okay. I think you guys are just catching a weird discord setting. Okay, I will turn you down on discord a little bit, but it'll still probably sound that way. You're probably fine if it looks good on your end. Alright, get ready for a lot of loud clown talking while I calibrate. Alright, well I'll tell you what, I've heard about these Karens. These Karens are mighty powerful creatures. This sounds like when they blow out the video clip on purpose, and it's just like just constantly. Yup. If any of the levels are still an issue in the post recording, can we just say that this clown is anomalous and his vocal cords just do that? Yes. Okay, cool. In case you're not familiar with the circus of the disquieting, clowns are not human. They are eldritch beings. Oh hell yeah, better than even. Alright, so shall I pick up from where I left off? Yes, you were determined to not allow them to get away with calling themselves Karen? No, no. Karen may want to ignore the clown, but the clown is not ignoring Karen. Because even though most of the time your circus of the disquieting, your anomalous communities are going to, you know, look down on the humdrums, the normal people, I've heard about Karens, and I know that if I want to find them meatballs, I need someone like that Karen on my side, especially because while it's not a clown car, it is much better than hooping it on foot. Karen is an excellent deduction. Karen will do everything in her power if you're able to convince her to help you find those meatballs. Well, in the meantime, Martha is standing there looking very much in fight or flight response, despite just talking to a woman in a car. Oh honey, you look like you're going to cry, are you alright? I'm completely fine, ma'am, I just, you know, it's a bit weird having such fear in my being when I'm the one holding an axe. Right, well, see, I'm sort of looking for people who have a bit more, what do you call it, vicious energy, because I'm on a mission and I really need to accomplish it. So if you don't think that you can be up to the challenge, then maybe I can just move on. Yeah, well, I mean, there is this clown that's looking very determined. Oh, he's marching over, oh God. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Cletus T. Chillerwicker, and I heard that you're on a mission. Alright, I'm backing away slowly. On a mission. To take a bath, hopefully. For meatballs. Oh, okay. Did you say you need gasoline? Oh no, I've just been cutting up the employees for that. They are made of petroleum, that's scientifically viable. I'm backing away a little faster now, okay? Listen here. Are you planning on doing anything with that axe out of curiosity? Yeah, keep it. I mean, what are you doing? What are you doing with it? Can you kill things? That's what I'm trying to. Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty versatile tool. You can use it for a lot of things, but chopping bodies is one of those. Listen, I kind of need to get there. There's like a thing. The flare is almost completely falling to the ground now. And often the distance, you do see a few employees moving your way. Okay, you two both might want to get in. There's no room in the back. You'll have to push aside the kids' car seats. But that shouldn't be problem you're seeing as, yeah, that's kind of what I thought. I pop open the passenger door. Who's Blondie over there? The beeping of the door opening. The freaking sliding. It makes a really horrible grinding noise. You watch as the clown who's been walking around angrily with a Scrooge McDuck posture this entire time walks over the trunk, which is now opened, leaps in while squiggling his limbs in a very 1920s cartoon way to fit in between whatever objects are in the trunk. All right, that might as well happen. So has Stanley just sort of continued running forward urgently, or is he here? Socially awkward, Stanley has just been watching this unfold this whole time. Martha walks around to the back and like just closes the trunk, I guess, and then looks over to Stanley. So what's your shtick? Oh, I, um, hi, I'm Stanley. Hi, I'm Martha. Hi, do you, what tribe do you hail from? Tribe, uh, Ravenclaw. What's the name? Where are you located? By the appliances, by the cafeteria. Oh, no, I just got here. Oh, you're new? Yeah. Uh, I'm not usually the one for introductions. I mean, neither am I. It's kind of, yeah. Yeah. Do you want, do you want? Hi, we have places to be, so if everyone could wrap this up, that would be great. Ma'am, are you heading towards where the light was? Yes, on my quest to kill the manager. Do you want to help us? I was a distinguished warrior in my tribe. I could help if you could lead me there. Can you fit in a child's booster seat? I have a small frame, yes. I do have my axe if needed. Fantastic. Climb on in, don't forget to buckle your seat belts, please. All right. Uh, and what, what tribe are you? Karen, you said? Yes, Karen Burlin Tanchin. I don't know the Burlin Tanchin tribe. Sorry, that's, uh, that's my husband's last name. I spent some time in kitchenware, but unfortunately they were not able to help me beyond what they could offer, so I have gone on my own. The store is now closed. We need to exit the building. We need to get the cover fast. Get in the car, everyone, get in the car, please. Oh, oh, oh, it's been a long time since I've seen one of these. Okay, so. It ain't that hard, buddy. Just climb in the door. So we got the clown who's crammed himself in the back. There's like the middle area. You said there's like the kid's booster seats? There's like, what is there? Yeah, there's like, there's like a booster seat and like a toddler seat in the two like middle. Okay. Car seats. And then there's the shotgun seat next to Karen. Yes. And the whole inside of the car is just covered in weapons. Just got like fuck tons of weapons. Oh, shit. I'll take the ACOT seat. I, you know what? I'm, I, Martha's six foot. I'm not sure how she's going to fit. This is going to be great. Five foot six Stanley takes the smallest seat. Don't forget to buckle, please. Okay. I don't want anyone getting. Oh, God. Okay. There's an employee that's about 10 feet tall approaching your way about 20 feet away. Are you kidding? Is everyone buckled? I'm hitting the button and it's not closing. It's not doing the beat thing. It's not doing the Karen. Karen. I floor it. Is the, is the creepy guy going with us? We've got some squishies coming. Can we get this show on the road? I floor it toward the employee. Okay. So the employee is coming from the side. You floor it to go forward to head towards the flare. Oh, it's coming from the side. Then, then yeah, I do that. But if it starts chasing me, I'm going to throw it in reverse. Sorry. Is it coming at the side with like that? We're entering or from a different side? It's coming from the side that the door is closing on. Okay. Yeah. If, if it is too close, I would like to make an attack against it just to try to keep it away from getting it. Okay. It's not quite there yet, but if she decides to reverse while the door is still open, you might. No, I'm waiting until everyone's buckled. Okay. No one's buckled. Did you floor it? No, I'm waiting until everyone's buckled. I buckled my seatbelt. I buckled the seatbelt without actually being in the seatbelt. I just, here's the click. Mr. Clown, do you have a seatbelt? It's ten feet away. I have perfectly nestled in all of these objects. You need to have a seatbelt. We need to have a seatbelt. We need to have a seatbelt. Stanley, it's in reach. I want a rope. I've got a rope in my pants. I've tied myself to the seat. Drop, woman. I step on it. Okay. I go for an attack, but then the car lurches. Okay. It lurches forward. I try to attack from a booster seat, but the car is now moving. You launch off going forward. You're now heading straight to where the flare has completely fallen to the ground. You see, in front of you, several of the abomination employees are surrounding some shelves and trying to bring it down. And you can see up top, there are a bunch of pillowed people. Would you like to try to assist them or are you hightailing it? Fuck them. Stanley does not say this out loud. I don't... I don't know what role this would be. Would it be a really bad situation? How many employees are there? I will say that on the side that you're on that you can see, there's three that are trying to go after one of the support struts of this shelving unit. How big are they? One of them is real small. One of them is about normal human size. And one of them is about normal human size but has a grotesque enlarged arm. I'd like to act under pressure to e-brake drift my car into them. Okay. Do you have any bonuses for driving at all? I don't know. I don't know if that was on the sheet. Or at least on the driving set. I don't remember there being one. There's one of the classes that gets some bonus driving stuff. I don't think that was mine. Does Karen's soccer mom experience give her the equivalent stat in that though? Yeah, I don't think you did. Oh, right, they're homebrew ones. Yeah, and you didn't. Because I'm pretty sure there is one for the, because there's one for one of the other classes. If you can think of anything that you have in the vehicle that either you or someone else could use, you do have what I need, what I need it. You are able to store objects and be able to get them as long as you have access to your cash. If you can think of anything that you would have that might be helpful here, I'll give you one forward to this situation. Well, Karen, did your kids have like that movie they would like watch over and over the second that ended you put on repeat? And was it Tokyo Drift? Or was it Speed Racer 2008? Is that playing on Lou? It was Speed Racer 2008, yeah. Yeah. I harnessed the power of Speed Racer 2008. OK, that works. I'll give it to you. OK, go ahead and roll plus. I'm blinking on. Plus cool. Plus cool, yeah. Which unfortunately for me is negative one, this goes. This is mine. Karen's not cool. I rolled a nine. Or minus one, it's just eight. And then plus one, so you're at nine. If someone wants to help out, also rolling plus cool, you may. I can do that. I'm not sure what specifically I would be doing physically to help, but I'm. I have a plan. If you're able to like hang out the window and do something maybe or Charm, did you have something? I have a plan. I'm going to increase the morale of the driver by humming the Speed Racer soon theme song with a country twang to get her in the mood for racing. Yeah. Sure. I am rolling. I am rolling. I have a negative one to cool. But I still rolled a 10. So this is a. This is a nine. And it also has a. I have a plus two to my helping roles rather than a plus one due to my helping hand ability. Okay. So is it the total is nine or 11 nine is the roll and then they get a plus two is rather than a plus one for the win. Gotcha. So they then their role has changed to an 11, but 10 is the same. So if they had rolled an eight, then you would have been able to push it to a 10. But either way, you help them out. Since you have a mixed success, you put yourself in the line of danger. I think that you start. Were you saying whistling or humming? I was going to. I was going to have that. I was going to like down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. Down. completely blown out and nothing else but it is very funny from our end when we take our break we can listen back and see if it wound up being awful or not uh test this out test this out is this sounding better is this sounding better it's very quiet but it sounds like you're a lot farther away uh yeah better because you're not doing yelling let me i i've taken my discord input down to 90 i'm gonna see if this makes a difference let me let me do the thing one more time prepare your ear holes your top volume stuff is still blowing out but that was better so that was better i think yeah the the first six bababos were good i give it i'll give i give it six out of seven Baaba bows it is an improvement I see some ADR in my future. I'm worried. Okay, so at this point you have swept those employees out of the way, and as you do so you also knock a box that slips underneath the structure and is able to continue supporting it. So the section that is directly beneath the support strut is at least safe. If you look at the Ikea employees you hit since I imagine this Honda Odyssey was going pretty quick. Sorry, matte black Honda Odyssey, and they're they're they're splattered. So you don't have anything to worry about there. But as you as Cletus recovers like does a like big old head shake and there's a comical sound of like rattling going on as he looks around, there are some more employees that have seen that you have come over to here and are shifting in your direction. And as they are heading towards you, they get closer and closer, but then the lights turn on. And just as quickly as they turn hostile in the night, they turn docile in the day. Congratulations, you have stopped the pillow pilferers from meeting their untimely demise, and the employees no longer tell you that the store is closed and slowly begin wandering off to stock some shelves. Are any of them dead? The three that were hit with the Honda Odyssey are completely flattened, yes. I'm going to wait until the other ones meander away, and then I'm going to hop out and I'm going to cut off their legs. Now that I think about it, they're actually supposed to try to collect the fallen bodies. So instead of heading for you, they start walking over to the crumpled mess and begin collecting the pieces. You could still head over there. I'm grabbing the littlest one. Okay. Okay, hold on. Martha's going to hop out with her with the axe and just be like, oh, jeez. Help either just drag the whole small one or chop a leg and run whatever works best. Karen is bizarre. I don't think I seeing them hop out. Stanley is going to also follow to help. Sure. Yeah, this isn't a difficult thing to do. You have an axe and just one of you holds it still while the other chops. I think there's enough body parts occupied over there that they are at least temporarily not going to come after you here while they collect up the fallen bodies of some of the other ones that are in the area. So then as you retrieve this leg, there is a mess of pillows that falls down on and around Cletus as the entirety of the pillowpillowers that were up on top of the shelves land onto these pillows and are completely safe in their fall. I think he was. Stanley pulls out a Stanley blade and stands. Apologies, our saviors. You have rescued us from this dire situation. You are the ones the prophecy has foretold. Did your prophecy also foretell of trying to kill me about three hours ago? Not even. Does your prophecy talk about whoever is in charge of this situation? If you would just wait for one second, we could maybe tell you the prophecy. I don't have one second. Could you make it a little bit shorter? For saviors will emerge. On the night of the end of the canopy, the last of their members will answer a call to destiny. The wasp, the archivist, and the clown shall join the last of the canopy and they shall sail the Argo through our halls and unite the tribes to face a common threat. Each shall find what they desire and deserve. They shall bring an end to the invasion and be our reapers or they shall bring an end to the invasion or be our reapers spurting us away to the land beyond the parking lot. Sorry, it's a long prophecy. I messed up the last part. That one's on me. Was that quick enough though? How long did it take you to tattoo that on your arm? A very long time. It was extremely painful. We don't have great stuff for tattoos here. Yeah, evidently. Alright, but my question is, which of you three is the clown? I'm just kidding. Haha, I got that one. We usually only do pillow jokes. So did the down of the softest pillow tell you this or...? Yes, actually. Yeah. Are you one of us in disguise this whole time? We were sort of salty about the fact that the canopy was supposed to be our saviors. I mean, I'll be honest. I thought that joke would land a little better. I guess it's a canopy thing. Listen, there's a whole lot of talk of prophecy and saviors and land beyond the parking lot, but I'm not going nowhere until I find what I came for. Well, the prophecy does foretell that each of you will find what you desire and deserve. Alright. What does it say that we have to do exactly? Unite the tribes. All of them? It's not clear on that. You try your best, maybe? So wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. So you're telling me that we got to unite tribes here. Now, you there, tattoo boy number one. You're from this canopy tribe, right? Yes, I am. And y'all are in fact not the canopy tribe, right? No, we are their sworn enemies. Like a frickin' loony tune, I race around the group behind Stanley and push him at the small of his back at the lead prophecy-telling pillow person. You fall very gently into the pile of pillows. Does he have a soft face? The cartoon man does have a point. We will probably have to start with the first two that we have, which is the canopy people and the pillow people. You are our saviors. We are eternally grateful. You don't have to worry about us. So can you get over your beef with the canopy folks? Well, they sort of disappeared. So it's just this one. They kind of burned down my home and I point to the direction where you can still see the canopy tribe where the Molotov cocktail went off. Your home? I mean, you also were tied up over there, right? It seemed like you sort of were abandoned. We didn't think you'd care that much. I mean, I don't, but it's complicated. Martha's backing away and just like looking around for any sign of the stuff that she's- Intelligent life? Well, she's looking for the sign of the stuff that she is hunting for to reclaim. You can go ahead and investigate a mystery here if you'd like. All right. Also real quick, you said that the employees collect the remaining pieces. Are they following this bit that we just grabbed? They are currently collecting the bodies of some of the ones that had fallen. There were ones around the outside that had been like- The pillow pilferers also have lances which are just fence stakes that they had been launching down at the employees, so there's a few around too. You're able to grab this leg before they're able to- And chat here for a while before they try to come after you or do anything. Who are the grabbing limbs from the fallen squishies? Martha grabbed a whole ass leg and shoved it, buckled it into the car seat in the odyssey and then started looking around. Clean it out the question. So, I don't know terribly much about you hum drums, but what are you doing with that squishy's leg? Are you hungry or something? Yes. Have you not tried it before? It's pretty much the same thing as tofu. Saviors, they will come after you if you have that leg. I thought you said you would. Hasn't stopped me before. Oh god, how many legs have you collected? Were you around anyone? Sorry what? Were you around anyone when you collected legs before? Sometimes? Okay. Usually I just cut them up into really tiny pieces and put them in my gas tank. Oh. Sometimes I do eat them though. Okay. No judgment, you are our saviors. As long as you season it, it tastes just fine. So, like when you were talking and saying stuff before, all of the pillow pilfers were sort of like knotting their heads along with you and there's like significantly fewer doing that when you're talking about like taking these libs. Listen, in circumstances like these, one needs to learn to be resourceful, yes? We have food. If, okay. But is that food meat balls? No, strangely enough, all of our meat balls, we ate them like a week ago and we haven't found any more. Come, Florida! All right, this pillow talk is on making me uncomfortable. I'm going to continue looking around now. Yeah, go ahead and roll the investigates right now. Pillow talk. Remind me, it was 2D6 or 1D6? Okay. Yes, so 2D6 and add your sharp modifier for Martha. You have zero. Oh my God, I rolled a 12. Okay, that's a really good roll. I roll screenshot, approved if ever needed, but like, yeah. I believe you. Okay, so you get to ask three questions. To you as the... Sorry, two questions. So you can ask of the list, what happened here? What sort of creature is it? What can it do? What can hurt it? Where did it go? What was it going to do? What is being concealed here? So what is being concealed here is sort of a grab all that would probably be a good one to do. And then you might have another question you pick from there. Yeah, I'm not 100% sure what I'm looking for. I'm just trying to see if there's like a hint of something to get back on track for what I'm trying to do. So the first one you mentioned, yeah. Yeah, so you're a very observant individual and you begin to look around. As you do, you start listening a bit closer and you hear the light hum of what sounds like a drone somewhere. You begin to look around and you like peek your head around one of the shelves and you see a drone that has been watching the situation that now, as you look at it, begins to fly off. Oh my god. No, get back here. Get back here, you little bastard. Okay, she's like sprinting, trying to get. It's in the air and flying upward, so. Is there a shelf nearby? I don't know. I'll climb. You have a firearm, correct? I do. Wait, okay, when you say drone, are we talking like a quad? Like a situation? It's a larger quad copter type thing. It looks incredibly similar to an SCP Foundation standard MTF type drone. Okay, I am going to, I was thinking about throwing my axe, but I would not want to lose that. I mean, is it like right above me where I'm not going to? It's like 20 feet in the air. Okay. But if I like chuck my axe at it, okay, cool. But if I miss, it's going to come down near me. Or you would be able to. It's not going to, it's not like at an angle. No, it's away from you a bit. So it's like, it would be 20 feet away, 20 feet up. Yeah, okay. You would probably hit a shelf if you miss. Submachine gun instead. Okay, you pull the submachine gun off of your hip that no one has questioned up until now. God damn. Go ahead and roll to kick some ass. Okay. Okay, that is an eight total. Eight total. Okay. So what's supposed to happen there is you deal some damage to it and it deals some damage to you. How much damage does your submachine gun deal? It says, let's see, three harm. Three harm. Okay. I think with that, you clip one of the quad arms. Yeah, yeah. Rotors. Yeah, that's probably what I would have been aiming for, so that makes sense. And it begins to spin out of control. It is able to return fire at you as it's falling to the ground. Oh, good. Good. You take two harm, which is reduced to one from the armor that you have, correct? I believe so. Where was the armor on the list again? That was the one thing I couldn't remember where it's at. Yeah, you have one armor. It's one of the moves that you took, battlefield awareness. You always know what's happening around you and what to watch out for. Take plus one armor. Okay, so sorry. Okay, yeah, so we can continue. So if I have one armor, I took two harm, but I only take one. Yeah, so the drone falls to the ground some distance away from you. You can go over to it and see if it's still intact or if you can treat it. Yeah. And everyone else around you heard this as it fell to the ground. Also, as you shot, it does say it is very loud. And I don't know where it shot me. I assume it clipped my shoulder or my armor or something. So I'm just going to, she just goes for it. She doesn't really seem faced. So as as Martha fires Stanley, I was like, Jesus Christ. And ducks behind as he has not heard something that loud in a long time. Oh, come on, the shooting gallery is way more dangerous than that. What is that exactly? Our saviors have brought wonderful weapons. We picked the right crowd to follow. Please don't shoot us. I'm not sure how far ahead I am, but Martha probably didn't hear or respond to any of this. She's just be lining for the drone. Yeah, so you get over to it and you don't see a foundation logo on it, but you do notice a significant coat of paint where you would normally find the foundation logo. Okay. It has deactivated at this point. I don't know if you have any way to see if it has signal coming from a particular direction. I don't know. I know under the weird thing it says like to roll to use magic tech or anomalous things. So could I make a roll or something to try and access it? Sure. I think you're probably familiar with this technology, so I think that makes sense. Go ahead and roll plus weird. Roll to hack into the diagram. That's also an eight. Okay, make success. With that, I'll say that you start to look at it. You crack it open. You think that you can probably get access to either a backlog of where it was getting signal from or repurpose it for your uses, but it will take a significant amount of time to do. You're not able to do it on the fly here. I see what you did that's because it's not flying. All right, I'm going to have to get onto my shoulder and hoof it back to the odyssey. Cool. I think you can fit that in the Honda Odyssey, no problem. Would you care to explain? Not particularly. Okay, can you explain at least what the weapon is you just used? Yeah, it's a And how you have it? Ah, it shoots bullets. We have heard of this fabled weapon. All hail the gun. All hail the gun. Excuse me. How long have you guys been in here? I mean, a long time. I haven't seen a car or I know what a gun is, but like that's Were you born in here? We only know of the pillows and now of the gun. There's a lot more to life than pillows and guns. So you might want to broaden those horizons a little bit, but We shall broaden our horizons. Are you from the outside world? Oh, wait, no, you're new. You're new. You're right. So does the outside world still use CD players? Sometimes. Really? No. Okay. Is Cartoon Network still good? I would say no, but I don't think any children's TV is good. It's... What about four kids? We don't. No, especially not that one. Four kids was the the higher powers. I really liked what they did with one piece and dragon ball. It was hilarious. Oh, my kids aren't allowed to watch those. They're too violent. Lovely. Okay. I'm strapping the- Says Karen. She sleeps in her leg and her shoulder. I'm shoving the drone in the car now. Don't worry about it. So about that, I would like an explanation. Seeing as we are working together now as a unit, as a family. So tell us what it is. It's a drone. You hear the distant roar of an engine. An engine. All right. How many are you? Is this something a sound that Stanley would recognize? You probably would, being a denizen of the infinite Ikea and the pillow pilferers also would. You are aware of a particular tribe within the infinite Ikea known as the Shrieking Bandits. They are essentially the Mad Max of the infinite Ikea. They have somehow managed to build vehicles from the different appliances and etc. That's within the infinite Ikea, as well as creating a massive, probably about a mile and a half to two mile radius racetrack that is not incredibly far away from the canopy and pillow pilferer tribe. You would semi-regularly hear the roar of engines coming from there. No, but they're sounding like they're getting closer. It, you maybe heard it once off in the distance a while earlier, but didn't know what it was. It does sound like the same sound you heard, but getting closer. As a foundation employee, Martha would know of them, or was she not monitoring those specifics? Martha has been monitoring the infinite Ikea for quite a while. There haven't been too many drone adventures into here, but the different tribes are at least known to the foundation, if not well documented. All right. Well, are we just gonna sit here while we wait for Fast and the Furious to show up? I can't fit everyone in my car. I am happy to take you three. Well, I think we need to get the information we need here from the pillows and get out. Okay. What for the information are you looking for? Exactly. What is the Argo? I would like to know. Sorry? They said they sail the Argo, but I don't know that term. Is that an outside thing or...? The Argo. I would assume that there are not boats in here? I mean, there are so many departments that could be around here somewhere I just don't know, but... You never know. I think we should start at the beginning and we should find out where the other tribes are if we are going to hope to unite them. So, do you know where we can find the other tribes? They are everywhere, including the racecar ones that are approaching. Do they count? Okay, then we can stay here and let's talk it out like grown-ups. Oh, boy. They don't talk much. Yeah, well, we have a gun. This is true. We shall trust you and the gun. I should clarify that I have the gun specifically. You do have the gun. I don't really see where my pot is in this movie reel. I'm just here for... Would you be willing to defend us with your gun? With... I mean, within reason. I'm not gonna just... If we know there's some murdering Mad Max looking at... Unless they actually look like Vin Diesel, I don't want to stick around to see that. The pillow pilfer has begun setting up a wall of pillows. How are you going to find out if they look like Vin Diesel if you aren't going to wait until they get here? Yeah, don't patronize me. Okay, I shoved a disembodied slender man into your car seat. I don't know what more you want from me. Okay, I've just got my... I don't... I don't like... I've got a question. I've got a question. Oh, wait, it's a DM question. Does Martha have any foundation insignias on their outfit that would identify them to me? Does she? Does she? Well, I actually forgot to clarify if she's in like... I know we had like Aquaman stuff, but like as far as her body armor, like how obvious is that stuff? I think it would be like a bulletproof vest beneath your clothes. Okay. It could have been on top. How would you have prepared whenever your boss has told you that you needed to go to like the entrance to like send in a drone or something? Would you have like casually thrown it off on on top of the rest of your clothing or just have it or go the full mile and like put on an outfit? Um, I imagine she probably would prefer practical clothes for that. So it might look a bit more on the tactical side, I guess. Just because that's what she would prefer, I think. I don't know. Okay. Maybe like a jacket or something over top that adds to the kind of more bookish appearance but like underneath. Yeah, probably so. And my this is just my guess, but if you are foundation staff and you know you're going to the front of the Ikea so you're wearing body armor to protect yourself and you're not afraid of outing yourself because you're within a foundation contained site, probably what you're wearing has some foundation insignias on it like a jacket sleeve or on the chest of the armor or something like that. I'm guessing that. Yeah, I think it would make sense, but it's up to you, Martha. I think there's yeah, there's probably something. It's not super visible, but if like you're looking for it, then I think yeah, definitely. It could be. It could have been that like it's on your shoulder and like you had just moved your hair and yeah, he just finally saw it. I was about to say, should I roll the book for it or should I just assume that I see it? I think it's visible. Oh, oh, you're one of them. You're one of them. SCP, you're one of the SCP. I'm not an SCP. Sir, it's. Yeah, but you're one of their containers. You know, I thought I was prepared for coming in here, but this is there's been a lot of weird conversations going on ever since. So I'm just not. Yes. Yeah, I am one of them. How did you get in here? I came for the meatballs. My problem is I don't have a way out. Right now. Do you have a way out? No, I regret asking. Okay, I just need to take a look at this throne. She's focused on that and either shoving it into the car or if it's already shoved in the car, trying to tinker around with it some more while everyone else is just like milling about. So sure. So you are able to get it into the car in no issue and you're tinkering around with it with like the the trunk door or the side door opened. And now the roaring of an engine is very loud. It knocks down the pretty low pillow fort that the pillow pilferers had been able to quickly put up. And as they do, there is someone who hops out of the car and stands on top of it. The vehicle looks like like a repurposed bed frame that has had wheels added to it. There's been like some 12 volt batteries strapped onto it and it looks like it has the motors of like some AC units and the blades from the AC units are also fashioned to like the backside of it. It's very Mad Max-esque with a Ikea twist. Someone hops out of the vehicle and stands on top of it and is about to say something when they see your car. I'm going to climb on top of my van and sling my harpoon gun over my shoulder and then I'm going to wave at them. Hi, my name's Karen. This is going to be good. And you are? It's so beautiful. I know. Isn't it lovely? Anyway, uh, we? How did you craft this? Magic. And it stops working if any of me or my associates are dead. So you better not kill us or it'll turn into dust. You will enter the race. If I enter the race. You must. Can we talk diplomacy? Of course. If you win. No, just if I enter. I'm gonna uh- No, if you win. I want to roll to manipulate someone. At this point, the from the top of the shelves that are surrounding you, you see many different individuals standing there with various rocks or appliances. Like someone's got a toast or someone has a KitchenAid and that thing's heavy. They're all raised up and ready to throw down on you. I should have assumed there'd be more than that. Martha's going to straighten up. Okay, so are you the one who's in charge? You will race. If you win, you make decisions. If you lose, we get your ship. Our ship. Okay, so how about if I just leave? What happens then? Try. Martha- Okay, um, I would really like to speak to whoever's in charge of you. Martha straightens up, pulls out the gun. I want to roll to manipulate someone. You can, can I give a boost if I am helping? In this situation, I don't know if you're gonna, you may be able to like help your situation a little bit, but you're not going to be able to like completely get away from this situation without something significant. But who's this man's manager? I want to speak to the manager. How about, how about this? Can I give a boost to that? If she needs it, then you can give it if you want to help out to knock her up a roll. But go ahead and roll to manipulate someone. Okay, so I want to, I'm trying to think of what I want from this situation. I, oh I don't actually know. Because I think I want them to, I mean I want them to not take my car. Right, right. Well the thing you said earlier of just like them being willing to talk diplomacy, whether or not we win or something, I don't know. I don't know how that's gonna. Yeah, I'll say like I. You can potentially get like whether or not you win the complete race, they may be more willing to work with you. Yeah, I want to like, I want to convince somebody to let me talk to whoever is their king, like whether or not. Okay, if that's, if that's your goal, I think that's achievable. Go ahead. Fucking four. Oh shit. Did you add, did you add your charm? Remind me what the cutoff is for like the different levels. So it's one, or six or lower is a fail. Seven to nine is an excess and a 10 plus. Geist jail for you. So yeah, if you had gotten a five then you could have had Cletus help you because he could do plus two. I don't think anyone else has that. Not something like it. I mean, yeah, I roll to help out with the cool, but I don't know how that that would only do a plus one or everybody big. Yeah. So you can only bump it up plus one, even if everyone like stacks on it. Otherwise you could just like succeed at everything. You would be able to push it up to like the next tier. All right, I'll take, I'll take the out. None of you are in range to do that. Can I step in and do it? If anyone else wants to do anything, obviously, please jump in. I know I have a thing called soothe though with interactions and I don't remember exactly how. What does that do? When you talk to someone for a few seconds in a quiet voice, you can calm them down, blocking any panic, anger, other negative emotions. They have. So I don't know if that would help the situation or not. It's up to you, but. It might. So with the failure that Karen just had, I was imagining a fairly aggressive response to this situation. If you want to try to soothe it so that you're still going to be along for the ride, but they won't take anger out on you, go ahead and try. Or is it you just do. I think it just do. Oh yeah. OK, yeah, you just yeah. So Martha's going to straighten up from where she was been tinkering with the drone. And everyone, you know, just getting more and more caffinous around her and like everyone about to like throw rocks. Yeah, the guy who's the guy who's on top of the car like begins to raise his hand to like signal for people to throw something. So she's going to whip out her gun and fire a single shot into the ceiling. Uh, everyone who is like a tribesperson like flinches and like ducks down for a second. All right. I think we can just take a second to calm down here. You know, we can talk this out like reasonable adults. Clunk, someone dropped their toaster. Thank you. It fell for a while. Yeah, I was like, did I shoot somebody? Oh God. Oh, why don't we just stop? There was someone still up in the canopy, but not anymore. There's there actually are rafter rats. That's another tribe that's you. You could have hit someone up there. No, so much for uniting. I'm sorry for derailing. Go ahead. Now, why don't we try this again? Just now she's suddenly like a little bit nervous with like literally everybody looking at her. It's like, I mean, uh, there's no need for hostility. That's all I'm saying. You know, it's fine. Just putting your gun away. We can make this a pleasant experience. Just like speed racer 2008. Right. Right. We freaking love that movie, but you must enter the race. Okay. Okay. I'll do your race. Perfect. So is it here? So then the people begin to drop down from the shelves and like merriment of like excitement that a new vehicle is entering the race goes on and they surround your vehicle and sort of like push you into it. They shove the pillow pilfer's away and begin directing you off towards the racetrack. You're you're along for the ride. Do any of them touch the car? They might like occasionally bump into it as they are being merry. Okay. If anyone touches it intentionally, I'm making a mental note of who it is. Okay. Don't you touch me. I'm milking you. There are several people who touch it. You take a mental note of every single one of them. Yes. You dust for, you dust for. I'm dusting for a prince on the car. Can I use my top ability to protect someone but instead protect car? Yeah, you can you can like walk alongside it as the like parade of people is bringing you to the racetrack and like keep people back as like a bodyguard for the car. Yeah, yeah. So if I'm if I'm clear on what's going on right now, we have been we have currently been shoved in the vehicle and we are being like essentially a parade of vehicles to the racetrack right now, right? So there's a parade of like people. There's only the two vehicles like the bed frame modified one that is like driving ahead of you and then a bunch of people who have surrounded the car and are leading you off in this direction. All right. So we're like at a walking pace like walking toward where the walking pace driving towards the racetrack, right? Yeah, like a light jog maybe. May I attempt to manipulate one of the underlings who is walking along the track I just like to converse with the first maybe manipulate them later. Okay. Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I want to lean out the window bug bunny style. Hey, hey there, I got a couple questions for you. You mean out there's like a younger girl that's standing there like maybe in her teens like 14 or 15 or something. She smiles up at you and she's like, hello, you're entering the race. That's what I've been told. Now, can you tell me a little bit about this race? Yeah. So there's like 10 cars, including yours now, and you're gonna race and if you win, you become the champ. And if you lose, then it sounded like the racer earlier said you're gonna lose your car. So we get it. It looks really cool. I want to ride. Now tell me something. What does being the champ entail? Oh, um, you're sort of like the head honcho there. You get to call some of the shots. I mean, that's how we work. So that that beluga over there, that beluga, he's the current champ. Oh, no, he's not the champ. He's only like a third or fifth place or something. Interesting. Interesting. All right. Are there any other cars or most of the cars in this race like that? Uh, bed frame special up there? Are there any different cars in the race that's more similar to ours? That's funny you mentioned it. There's actually one exactly like his that's just a bunk bed frame instead of a regular frame. They are big rivals with each other. I'm pretty sure they're actually brothers, but um. Brothers. No, there's one that's like kind of similar to yours been like smaller. It's really fast. That's that's the champs. Do you? Does the champ call that car or anything? Does it have a name? Um, I don't know if I should give you all this information. Roll to manipulate someone if you want to learn more. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. So I've got a seven plus my two charms. So I got a nine on that one. Okay. If someone wants to help out with this at all, I'll like also lean out the window and try to convince this person you can get bumped up to a complete success. Would it be just saying I would like to assist or is it I also? You have to roll to help someone out, which is plus cool. I could help but my cool is a zero. I think everyone has negative one or zero on cool. Yeah, we're like the uncool squad. I'm literally a clown. Martha's she's got. She's got some cool. So she's just like lean forward and be like, I'm really, I'm just here. I don't know what's going on. Why are you talking to this child exactly? Like, are you good? Is she fine? What's going on? This this child here, this wonderful loving child, this kind hearted soul has information that may help us win or otherwise. That's so kind of you. That's really sweet. Yeah, but we don't. I just really like the races. I haven't raced since like Mario Kart back in middle school. So yeah, it's, you know, really nice to be helping us out. What else can you tell us about it? I've heard of Mario Mario Kart. What's that like? Rage inducing. Are you? Do you have a bit? That's the best kind of races. Okay, I'll tell you whatever you want. Great. I don't remember what question the clown was asking. So like you go ahead. Sure. Yeah. So you were rolling to manipulate someone. You got a complete success. And so on this question, I wanted to ask what kind of car are we getting in a race in against? What is our main adversary? What's the champ's car? What do they name that car? Oh, well, it's called the victory machine, of course. All right. But does it say anything on the side? Are there any words written on it? Um, there's a funny circle thing that's underneath it, but it's like painted over. It says victory machine on the side, but you can kind of see that there used to be something else on there. The clown specifically realizes that he's asking all of these questions and he knows nothing about cars. So Maybe the foundation employee could help out with that a little. Because that's how sharp my zero sharp clown. I also have zero sharp. So I feel like you have to describe the logo and I have to see if I Tosh IRL remember which logo it corresponds to. The little girl has not seen the logo in too much detail. She just knows it's like circular. So wouldn't be able to help you out much more with that. But she describes the car to you and to just save you some time. You gather that it's like sort of like close to a large ATV somewhere between like a truck and an ATV size type vehicle. And there's supposed to be some sort of weapon that has been strapped to the top rack of the car. If Stanley could possibly interject I would like to try to figure out if this is something where this race is going to be should we be more worried about how fast it's going to go or about how deadly this vehicle is. Well I've still got one more trick up my you know long weird sleeves like arm and extrusion here. Or your many many pockets. Or my many many pockets. I have one more question for this child who is a fan of Mario Kart or rage inducing races. Yes. All right so let me let me lead into this. So wait a minute what's your name darling. Why do you mean I should have like grabbed a list of names. Because I am also a dm and I knew that it would drive you nuts. Cashed it you of course you would do this to me. She's from the Mad Max Betrayal right. But that's what I'm calling them. Yeah so I among a lot of the other tribes in the Infinite Ikea it is common practice to name after a like appliance but I don't know if the Shrieking bandits would follow this convention. Maybe they would for I sort of had imagined they're probably in like an automotive dual like home appliance type section where there's like a lot of different motors and the things that they're able to scalp from. So if they wanted to follow if they did follow that convention maybe she would be like it's like an off I guess it would be Ikea brand. Do they have any like auto vacuum type things. I just want to call her batterina. Well listen here while we don't while you're thinking of the name we'll come back to that I'm going to call her darlin for now anyway. Hold on here I got something we'll go with Fracta. It's after a set of load bearing straps that seems appropriate that's pretty good. That's pretty good. Good she's got a strong name. My name's my name is Fracta. You love the races right and you really love when the competition's real strong and they're rage inducing and they're throwing a fit because they're so excited right. Yeah some of the other cars are not that great so I like it when they're able to go. Well here's the deal here's the deal I've got a feeling based on the car you've told me about that the champs in a little bit of trouble. Oh really. Yeah you see this beast right here sunk sunk this creature is a monster at driving. It is incredible. You should have seen the way that we completely flattened bunch of them Ikea squishies a while ago and so I don't want this race to be boring. I feel so terrible if it wasn't entertaining for the public. But if you're willing to help me out I've got something that we can fix that with. Now it's time for my second manipulation roll. Martha makes eye contact. Go ahead and tell me tell me what you're trying to do and I'll figure out if I even want you to roll for it or not. If it might be good enough to fit into the last manipulate someone you've pretty well grabbed my plan is essentially to sugar the champs engine so the car doesn't work to sugar the champs engine so that it is not a problem anymore. I'll tell you you won't be able to convince her of this. She is she loves the races and is an honest fan of the races. But she doesn't know but she doesn't know that I'm not I'm telling her it's going to make the champs cars better. I'm lying to her I am in fact manipulating her. I'll tell you that she would be willing to help you do better but she wouldn't be willing to help you sabotage someone else. Is she smart enough to know the difference? Is my question about 14. Oh okay okay okay yeah I was gonna say oh she would know. Yeah okay we're a little older than I thought. Got it. So cleanness is willing to manipulate a child got it. The whole time this conversation is going on Martha just like looks over at Stanley and makes eye contact like oh you hush I'm a huckstin money from these children all day every day. That's that's it like she's really just making like a like she's just it's just the whole time that this is happening she's just looking over at Stanley with like this kind of perplexed and concerned expression like. It's been a very confusing day for Stanley as well and he just shrugs. She shrugs in solidarity. All right well with my if there's no world in which I can manipulate this child into giving the champ an engine additive that will speed up his car so that it's a fair race. If you can think of anything at this point you would be getting pretty close to the race track if you can think of anything like right now that she could maybe do for you to help you like improve in the race. You know I I think they usually start the new racers towards the back I could I'm friends with some of the race organizers I could talk to them and see if you can move up a few spaces. Well that would be just lovely darling we want to make sure that we have a good eye on the champ and that we get to really battle it out for the real championship it wouldn't be fair if one of us starts the back you gotta you're a smart cookie you are. Yeah I don't know it usually they have the new racers start at the back I don't know if I should ask it might be unfair. I know you can roll. I yeah I'm gonna here we go play it roll it roll it nice well I I got a seven so that's at least something I'm not going to get to the next level of help success you may have to give her something in return to get this can I get an autograph you may certainly my darling little pitch if you guys win I want to be the first one to have one she hands you like a little notebook that she has I don't look at the first few pages please it's it's private you got it you signed the back ones you've got it darling I will start in the back do you I mean in front of her yes don't snoop through this child's diary I this poor kid manipulation fine going into her diary no T Pillar wicker is going to not go through this child's diary we don't listen we don't need to know how she's like looking in the window trying like shivering hoping that you won't look through her diary listen we don't she doesn't need the whole world to know about her crush on gasket or whatever the local mechanic boy's name is like you know but I'm just like I can't wait to kill these grungola was looking so cool today y'all are real honest to yourselves right now when we have a life or death situation and we may have intelligence in those pages please no I say very under my breath so obviously she does not hear me is it possible for him to speak under his breath is he physically capable of doing I don't know if germ is or if by extension cletus is it's a stage whisper cletus's whisper is still a shout that has been said to me in my life before okay so to speed through this she wants you all to sign it if you do go for it if you want to sneak a peek at the pages without her seeing I can have you act under pressure I am right in front of her and I want to but I feel like Martha is gonna be giving him a glare the whole time too the moment his thumb goes to like those beginning pages she's just like stay her big old glasses she's wearing it's got like the anime glint where you're just seeing the reflection of the light off of them you know in the background Karen says not now sweetie I'm driving she like like idly like scribble something yeah I think we all stanley will sign the the the diary beautiful