 Well, hello midlife love mastery members. I'm your host Jonathan as they and I'm so excited to be shooting another short video for you today It's a morning cup of Jonathan and today we have our God Jonathan mug that was a gift to me by one of our members moist She'll get that joke and our shirt today, which is quite appropriate is kindness is so gangsta Kindness is so gangsta, and I'm sporting a lot of scruff today. I need to shave so All right, let's just jump right into our topic How to kindly and a short lived relationship? So one of our newest members recently or yesterday posted a question I think it started off. How do you reject a guy kindly? and And she goes on to share a bit of the the backstory and I'll be candid with you I didn't like the choice of words reject and and and I do understand where she was going because when we Don't choose to pursue something With someone that might have feelings for us to them. It might feel like a rejection And yet why I don't like that choice of words because it's not a true rejection. It's just it's rejection is a is an egoic way of feeling bad about oneself and I'm not sure I want to adopt that philosophy But I get the point and I get the choice of words and quite frankly. It's not her responsibility To be concerned how he perceives it Does that make sense? It's not our responsibility to Be concerned about how someone receives it. What's most important is how we deliver the message Okay, because it's not a rejection. It's just saying I Don't want to continue going forward with you. That's it. That's all it is I don't want to continue going forward with you for and I'm entitled to whatever reason I want so Today we're gonna explore how to do that in the most kindest way because How we communicate to others Our truth is Important in the sense of I believe we can always do it in the most kindest loving way We don't have to be direct to the point of hurting someone's feelings and I think that's where she was going with it So so one of the first chapter in my book is called speak your truth do it with kindness so I thought out apropos and You know, there's a couple different ways to go about this so I would first oh and let me let me just say this I forgot to give you the backstory with this So she made a really nice guy kind courteous gentlemanly They went out for several dates over the course of about a month So I just want to give you a backstory. So you and it's a very familiar tale You meet someone who's kind consider it, you know Good good on paper all that stuff and you go out with them one two maybe ten times And you're just not feeling you're not feeling that energetic connection And that's what I got a sense was she wasn't feeling that Okay, so I went out of order, but hopefully we're back to How do we speak our truth? How do we say to someone in the kindest loving way that we don't want to continue to see them? If you've ever heard the the term ham sandwich or the Oreo cookie Which my friend dr. Sherry Myers calls it as you start with something positive you give the meat and you end with something positive Okay, so you start start with something positive Tim. I just want you to I really appreciate at the time We both took to get to know one another you're a very kind considerate caring person. I Want to just be Transparent with you. I'm not feeling an energetic connection and because of that. I don't wish to continue going forward with Pursuing a relationship with you and This is not a reflection of you It's just a reflection of energetic chemistry and you as I said You're a really kind considerate person and I want to wish you all the best So that might be a little bit convoluted But you get the gist of where I'm going to start with something positive gave the meat and then ended with something positive again. I Think the best thing to do is look inside yourself and ask what's your truth and what's the kindest way you can say it? I believe most the time when we don't want to pursue something with someone that's a good fit It's your intuition telling you it's not a good fit and that's okay It could also be fear and your ego telling you not it's not a good fit and that's okay, too If because even if it's fear That's telling you that you're not ready for a relationship But that's a whole nother topic all together. You might want to noodle on that for a second if fear is causing you to Not experience energetic connection. That's the time to look within that's the time to do a lot more self-love work Okay, so we're talking about how to do it kindly. I think you get the gist of where I'm going here I think it's possible to be very kind to someone When ending a relationship and frankly, I think these days it's okay to even do it via text message Bump bump bump. I know that might have shocked a few of you But the reality is is That this isn't of you know, this isn't a marriage. This isn't I'm not even sure that they even were intimate together But even if they were the benefit of doing communication sometimes via text or email is it allows the other person to process their feelings Without having to be in a confrontational Circumstance I'm not saying it's always this case, but if it's a short lived I I'm okay with sending a text message And you're just being upfront. It's still communication. Now some of you might feel a little bit awkward about doing that I think it's good for both people I've heard a lot of women complain that men don't have the balls to tell them in person that they're gonna reject them But you know that they've done it over text, but I see it a different way I see that as the kindest gentlest way to do it because nothing is since you use the word rejection It does feel pretty harsh getting that in you know, having that happen in direct time with someone Because then it puts both people in an awkward situation and again, I'm talking about a short lived relationship You get the gist of where I'm going. All right, let's get a conversation going. I'd like to hear your thoughts Please post a comment below You know if you reject some of what I said I want to hear about it Just do it kindly But they certainly want to hear let's get a dialogue going about how to end the relationship the kindest way As always if you find value in the group, please tell your friends about midlife love mastery send them to my website Jonathan as light calm have them click the group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group And I'm gonna sign off this video as I always do giving you a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug if I have your consent Thank you. Oh Wishing you a wonderful day. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now