 You're meeting someone for the first time and you notice for instance as You did over there with the glasses that you cover the neck or you bike the lip and you're wondering why are they doing this? What is the purpose of this behavior? Never wonder why we bite our lips Why when they're canceling flights you you'll see this this Aggregation of men and women professionals looking at that board in Atlanta, and they're all biting their lips ever wonder why I'm gonna tell you Because you can't suck your thumb anymore because you want to do this Because you want to pacify You want to relieve stress, but you can't and all day long. We're relieving stress We're doing it by doing it by doing things like touching our face Biting our lips we go from one pacifier To another pacifier to all sorts of pacifiers in our lives You ever notice people who bounce their leg or scratch or twiddle their thumbs these repetitive behaviors All these behaviors we do because the brain requires it So when you're talking to people when you're meeting people for the first time one of the things that you want to look for is Am I seeing more of these behaviors because then I know that I'm looking at some sort of psychological discomfort or Am I seeing less of these behaviors because over time? The more comfortable we are with each other the more that we will see Psychological comfort Someone asked me earlier go ahead and go to the next slide somebody asked me earlier Well, so you read body language. So what are you looking for? Comfort and discomfort Comfort and discomfort because whatever you want to achieve in life whether you want to be a CEO or you want to master anything You're gonna need somebody's help And that means that you have to increase face time Face time people always ask you were in the FBI you did ten thousand thirteen thousand interviews And you know were you going for the confession? No, I was going for face time Because if I have face time I'll get what I need But if I have zero face time, I'll never get anything If you can't get through that front door and get somebody to meet you if Anthony couldn't get through to me and spend time talking to me I Wouldn't have been here So somewhere along the line he has mastered the skill of comfort and This is a part of what we do When we are out there whether it's business personal or you know, even your children I mean my wife will tell you this is how I look every time she says honey Do you mind taking out the garbage? Oh? I'm an X FBI agent. Do I really have yes you do All right, and you notice that how often we touch our eye cover our eyes When we don't like something something we hear Something that said to us you approach somebody You sit next to them, and they go Whoa That is your first clue. There are issues. How do I know this? In 1974 I was a bored kid and I studied children who had been born blind They'd never seen And here's what's fascinating