 Kraft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Hee hee hee hee. The Kraft Cheese Company, who also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night, presents each week at this time Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. Here from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. Meantime, let me tell you what a friend told me the other day. She said, we tried spreading parking margin on our bread for the first time last week and we were certainly surprised why it's really delicious. Well, I don't know why anyone should be surprised that parking margin tastes so good because parking margin is made by Kraft. Yes, and made to be just as good tasting and nutritious as all of Kraft's fine foods. Parkae's flavor is delicate and appetizing, just right for a really satisfying spread for bread. What's more, parking margin adds important food values to meals. It's an excellent energy food, one of the best you can serve. And besides, every pound contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. Yes, parking margin is both nutritious and delicious, and it's wonderfully economical too. So why not treat your family to parking margin tomorrow? Just ask your food dealer for Parkae, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parkae margin made by Kraft. Now let's see what the Great Gilder Sleeve is up to. For a week, he's been strictly on the job at the water department, and today, with everything running smoothly, he's been able to give a couple of hours at lunch to laying out future strategy for Eisenhower MacArthur. So we find him now at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, returning to his office to sign some letters before proceeding to the barbershop. Hello? You still there, Mabel? So then we hung around for a while, and wait, I think somebody's coming. I'll call you back. You there, Bessie. Oh, hello, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. I was so busy finishing these letters, I didn't hear you come in. They're not done yet. Oh, but three, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, and I'll have those for you right away. But I only gave you four? Any phone calls? No, sir. Oh, yes, there was one from the newspaper. The indicator. What did they want? Well, it was kind of personal, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. What do you mean? Who called? The editor? No, sir. He said he was a society editor. What did he want? He asked when you were going to get married. Oh, well, the date hasn't exactly been set yet. What did you tell him? Oh, I didn't tell him anything, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Good. I just said what you told me to say when people called up and I didn't know what to say. Huh? You did what? Well, I just said what you told me, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. He asked when you were going to get married, and I didn't know. What did you say? We regret there's been a slight delay owing to the shorty demand power. That's all, brother. That'll fix it nicely. But, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, these letters... I'll sign them in the morning, and if the phone rings, don't answer them. Oh, that's Bessie. I'm going to have to let her go. Are you living at this barbershop now, Hooker? Every time I come in here, you're here. Every time I'm here, you come in. Well, just give the judge a quick trim, Floyd. There's no use trying to make him look good. Gilder Sleeve, go over there and sit down. Will you, and keep out of my hair? Very good. I was just saying to the judge here, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, I can't imagine you a married man. I'd like to know why not. Well, you know what they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. When none of us get any younger... Maybe you're not. By the way, Gilder... When are you and Lila planning to get married? Why do you want to know? Just interested, that's all. Well, we haven't set the date yet. What's the matter, Gilder? Is she giving you the run around? Why do you ask that? Well, you've been engaged quite a while now. People are beginning to talk. You're getting to say, what about this? Is she going to marry him, or isn't she? Of course she's going to marry him, me. We're just waiting till... Well, we thought we'd wait a while, that's all. Well, that's women for you. Try to pin them down, and they'll give you the slip every time. Now, maybe I shouldn't say this, but I made the mistake of going with a girl for three years. That was before I met my present wife. Everything was lovey-dovey from the start, but there was always a million reasons why she couldn't possibly marry me till the day after tomorrow. So in the end, what happens? A cattleman from Kansas moves in, and I wind up married to my present wife, which is okay. We've got a nice little place there. Now, you take my advice, Mr. Gildesley. Don't make the mistake I made. Pin her down, get tough. Floyd, you know, you could be right. Get tough. What's more, they love it. Why, 20 years ago, if I'd known as much about women as I do today, it would have been a different story. You'd have married the other girl? I wouldn't have got married at all. Wait a minute now. You got me confused. Another way to treat women, all right. Now look here, Lila Ransom. I've stood all the chili shally, and I'm going to. I want an answer, and I want it now. Lila, never do that to people. It's liable to stunt their growth. I'm sorry, Throckmorton. Come in, won't you? Thank you. I was coming in anyway. I was just going to call you up. I've had the most wonderful news. It'll have to wait. Lila, I demand to know when we're going to be married. For goodness' sake, is that all? All? Isn't it important to you? Of course, but I've been trying to tell you, Throckmorton. My only sister, Winfield, is coming to visit me tomorrow. That's fine, Lila, but what's that got to do with our wedding day? Well, I wouldn't think of getting married without having Winfield at my wedding. And besides, I wouldn't want to rush into anything without consulting her. I hope she likes you, Throckmorton. I hope so. What if she doesn't? That just couldn't happen, darling. I'm sure it couldn't. Because when you try, you can be so charming. You will try, won't you? Well, of course. You see, Winfield's married to a Yankee, just like you. But he's the handsomest man I ever saw in my whole life. I hate him. He's an engineer, and he's doing some secret construction work for the government at Camp Fuller. So naturally, Winfield and little Michael wanted to be near him. Michael? That's their little boy. He's just about me, Roy's age, but he's not likely Roy at all. Well, that's something. Look, Lita, I'll be good to your sister and I'll be good to her little boy. But answer me one thing. When are we going to get married? I'll tell you, Throckmorton. I'll let you take us both to lunch tomorrow, and we can ask a van. Oh, mercy, that reminds me. Here it is almost nine o'clock, and I've got to get up and meet a six o'clock train tomorrow morning. Can't you stay up just a little longer, Lila? I'll meet the train. Oh, that's sweet of you, Throckmorton, but I'd rather. All right, I'll go. Throckmorton, you're not going away angry. No, I'm going home and think about the Romo plan. That's different. I'll be right down. OK, I'll see you. Wait a minute, Leroy. What do you want? My cake will get cold. Never mind. I have something important to tell you. You've certainly picked the clumiest times to give out with the old Milwaukee. This is not Milwaukee. Boom! Shut the window. I heard that, Leroy. I meant turn on the heat. Yes. Well, listen to me, young man. Mrs. Ransom's sister is coming to visit her. Is she good-looking? You're getting too fresh. The lady is arriving this morning, and I want you to make a good impression on her. OK, what do you want me to do? Stay out of sight. She has a little boy, and when the proper time comes, it may be all right for you to play with it. But until I say so, don't you go near it. Good morning. Good morning, Marjorie. I was just about to get up. I sent Leroy up because Birdie's making buckwheat cakes, and now Leroy's cakes are cold. Oh, I'm sorry, my dear. I was telling him how to behave himself while Mrs. Ransom's sister is here. Oh, when did she come? This morning. I'm eating him for lunch today, but we'll have him here soon, and I want everybody to be as nice to her as possible. Well, I'll certainly do all I can, Uncle Roy, and I'll keep an eye on Leroy. Oh, sure. Let's all keep an eye on Leroy. No, young man. You'd better start keeping an eye on her. If you know what time she came in last night... Leroy, mind your own business. Mr. Gilliam, what's the matter with this family? Good morning, Birdie. I've been cooking here a long time, but this is the first time my buckwheat cake's ever run into a boycott. Yes. Now, Birdie... It's discouraging, Mr. Gill, please. All this year's buckwheat cakes are wonderful, Birdie. Maybe they are, and maybe they ain't. All I know is that you and Leroy walk down on them, and your uncle won't even get out of bed to try samples. But Birdie, I was telling him about Mrs. Ransom's sister. She and her little boy are coming to visit Mrs. Ransom, and all of us must do our very best to make them happy. Yes, sir. That gives me an idea. What's that, Birdie? I wonder, do they need a good cook? Nope. Gangway, everybody. Let's go upstairs and plow into those buckwheat cakes. Nice windy corner I picked to wait on. Why can't women be on time? Stragmorton! Oh, Stragmorton, are we too frightfully late? Only about three-quarters of an hour. Oh, good. And Stragmorton, I want you to meet my sister, Winfield. Winnie, this is Stragmorton. Oh, how do you do? How do you do? Why, darling, he's the spitting image of Harvey Deepenback. He was thin. Well, isn't he? I'll see what you mean. I don't. Oh, gee. Well, this little man must be Michael. How are you, Mike? I'm very well, thank you. And you, sir? Huh? Oh, oh, yes. Well, I'll bet you're a pretty tough customer. You want to fight, Mike? Put up your dukes. Well, no, thank you. I'm not allowed to fight. Oh, Winnie, I'm so glad to hear that we're just like old times, won't it? You know, Leela and I were always together. People used to call us the heavenly twins. Oh, really? Well, you don't talk alike. Oh, well, Winnie's been up north so long, she talks like a Republican. Oh, old days we were more like chums than sisters. Remember when we used to go on dates together? We had dress alarm. Oh, you remember the summer at Virginia Beach when we switched balls? Yes, and remember the summer I was so crazy about Tubby Walker, till the day of the picnics? Speaking of picnics, ladies, how about a little lunch? Oh, gracious, here we are rambling on like a couple of schoolgirls and forgetting all about Strathmoreton. You know, I can't get over how much he looks like Harvey Dieffenbach. Who on earth is Harvey Dieffenbach? Who is Harvey Dieffenbach? Well, Harvey was an old bow of mine that I got engaged to once when I was young and foolish. Oh. I lie if every time I think of him. You were dead serious at the time, though. Oh, gracious, yes. And Winnie couldn't see him for dirt. She did everything in her power to break it up. Oh. Well, how about a little lunch, huh? I don't mind telling you, I'm starved. Old Strathmoreton, I hope you don't mind, but we've only got five minutes to get to the hairdresser. But I thought I was taking you to lunch. Well, that's terribly nice of you to do. Well, we thought if you didn't mind, you could take little Michael to lunch while we have our hair done. Don't you think that would be a good idea? Well, what about the question we were going to ask you? Old Strathmoreton, you're a lamb. Isn't he a lamb, Winnie? Now, my friend, you go with Uncle Strathmoreton and have a nice lunch. We've got to run. Be a good boy, Michael, and do what Uncle Strathmoreton tells you. Oh, come on, Mike. My name is Michael. Michael, come on. We're going into the hotel and have lunch. But I'm not hungry. Well, I am. I've been waiting an hour. It's the best hotel in Summerfield. I've been in bigger ones. Sorry it doesn't measure up to your standards. Let's sit here. Yes, sir. Now, how would you like to eat, Michael? I see they've got roast beef today. Well, I don't like roast beef, thank you. You don't like roast beef? What boy doesn't like roast beef? Well, how about pork chops? I'm allergic to pork. What? It makes me break out. Oh. Well, how about a poached egg? You think you can handle that? Look, Michael, how about a nice bowl of milk toast? Let's go away from here. Just a minute. But I really don't see anything. Sit down, you. I'd like a little something to keep body and soul together. I'm going to have roast beef, baked potato, peas, suck-a-tash, and pie a la mode. And you, you little squirt. You can sit there and watch me eat it. The Great Gelder Sleeve will be with us again in a few seconds. I'm sure you mothers and housewives have noticed that when you cook or bake something especially good for your family, it disappears mighty fast. Well, the same thing often happens to a food product that's exceptionally good. And that explains why your food dealer may sometimes be temporarily out of parking margarine. That's why it's called a craft, delicious bread for bread. Of course, craft is doing everything possible to keep dealer supply. But these days, so many people prefer parké margarine that some dealers just can't keep up with the demand. Now, I don't mean to say that you can't get parké margarine. Likely is not most of the time you can. But it is wise to watch your dealer's stocks and buy parké whenever he has a supply. Remember, parké is an excellent energy food and a reliable year-round source of vitamin A. So please watch for and always ask for parké, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parké margarine made by craft. Now let's see how the great gilder sleeve is coming. The last we saw of him, he was stuck with little Michael at lunch while Leland, her sister, went off to the hairdressers. Well, lunch is over now and a couple of hours have passed and we find gilder sleeve plotting up the front walk to his house still with little Michael. Come on, what are you waiting for? Why are we going in here? This is where I live. Oh, it's kind of funny-looking, isn't it? Listen, I know it's not much, but it's home to me. Now come on. Whose bicycle is that? That's Leroy's bicycle. He doesn't. Well, no, he doesn't. But he's a good kid. I'm just beginning to appreciate him. This is my house and I can come in with dirty feet if I want to. Bertie, has Leroy come home from school yet? I'll do that before I make the dinner. I don't know much for dinner, Ron. All right, my boy. If you're hungry, it's a sign you need food. I like to see a boy eat anyway. Huh? Leroy, this is Michael. Hi. Michael, meet Leroy. How do you do? I've been looking forward to meeting you. Now, Leroy, remember that Michael is your guest. My guest? Yes. I thought it'd be nice if you two boys played together all afternoon. Ah, but Uncle was just going over to Piggy. She's expecting me. Leroy, I'm asking you as a favor to me. Don't you tell me to keep away from my little punk. Listen, you entertain the little punk and don't give me an argument. Mother says it's not polite to whisper. Yes, and you're right, too, Sonny. Here, Leroy, here's a dollar. Take it and entertain your little friend in any way you see fit. OK, come on, Mike. Where are we going? Down to the drug store. Do you like comic books? Oh, Mother doesn't allow me to read comic books. That's all right, Michael. You go with Leroy and have a good time. Oh, but Mother... Mother will never know. Chocolate raspberry soda. Sorry, Son, but we have a rule here. Only two of those to a customer. I suppose you think if you make me another one, I'll be sick. If I make you another one, Sonny, I'll be sick. Well, my mother lets me drink all the sodas I want. If you will bring me a note from your mother to that effect, I'll be glad to fill the prescription, whether or not I wouldn't care to take the responsibility of myself. Listen, you have no right. Hey, why don't you stop hollering and finish the Saudi you've got? I don't want to. I paid for it. You go on and finish it. I don't want to. Why not? I don't think I feel very well. I'll finish it. To give us a name? Leroy, where in the world are you two been? Right here. You know what time it is? Michael, your mother's been looking all over the place for you. She's just about crazy. I'm afraid our young friend here is overindulged a bit, Mr. Gillis. Yeah, what do you mean? I don't feel very well. Oh, my goodness, look at him. Spots! Well, now there's nothing to be alarmed at, Mr. Gillis, leave. I'd say it was just a simple case of hives. Nothing to be alarmed at. I'll get the blame for this. What's he been eating? He's under the influence of a couple of raspberry sodas. A couple? Pee-pee, what kind of a joint are you running here? I'm just trying to run a respectable duck store, Mr. Gillis. You know what you're running? A public nuisance. Well, I wouldn't say that. You ought to know better than to stuff a kid with sodas. How is this going to look for me? I'm supposed to be taking care of this little twerp. When his mother sees me, sees him, she'll burn up. What am I going to do? Well, a little calm and lotion might relieve the irritation. Oh, goodbye, Pee-pee. It's you, Throckmall. I won't come in. I just wondered if little Michael is better today. A little better, I think. Fine. Keep him warm. Leela, I wondered if you'd care to go to the movies with me tonight. Being Crosby and something or other. Oh, I'd love to go, Throckmall. But Winfield's crazy about being. Why don't you take her and stay? Well, that'll be all right only. Oh, thank you, Throckmall. And I know she'll have a lovely time. Hello, Leela. I have two tickets to the subscription concert this evening. Would you be able to go? But I want to see you. Oh, you can see me anytime. When, for instance, I got these tickets just for you, Leela. I know. Go. Leela, you're going out to dinner with me tonight. But Throckmall. No, I won't take no for an answer. I haven't seen you alone for a week. Well, I'd love to, Throckmall. But I just don't like to go out and leave Winfield alone. I got that all taken care of too. Judge Hooker's going to take Winnie to dinner and the movies. Oh. Now will you have dinner with me or do I have to kidnap you? Oh, Throckmall. You're so masterful. What can a girl say? All right. And I'll be expecting an answer to a certain question you've been putting off too. Me a wonderful dinner. Well, I'm glad you liked it. Oh, but it's nice to be home here with just you. I hope Judge Hooker took Winfield to a nice place. Yeah, don't worry. The judge is a spender. They're probably at the movies by now. Well, I'd rather just sit here by the fire with you and talk. Yeah. Me too. What shall we talk about, Throckmall? Well, I've been trying all evening to get you to answer one question. Oh, Throckmall, you're not going to stop that again. I'd like to know why not. Well, you're so unromantic about it. Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, let's talk about you then, huh? You know what I think is the cutest thing about you? No. What? Your ears. Your ears are so pink, and they stick out. What? What's Throckmall? From under your hair, I mean. Oh. You know, there's something I've been wondering for a long time. What? If you kiss a person in the ear, do they feel it or hear it? Yeah, and I know how to find out, too. Uncle Flushman. I wish that kid was Leroy for five minutes. Gracious, Michael. Why aren't you asleep, honey lion? Well, I got nervous upstairs, Aunt Lela, so I thought I'd come and sit with you for a while. But, Michael, don't you want the Sandman to come and take you to the land of Nod? Oh, no. I never go to sleep until Mommy comes home. You don't, huh? Well, now that's no way to grow big and strong, Michael. I bet if you lie down in your little bed and let Uncle Throckmall tell you a little story, you'll be asleep in no time. I don't like stories, thank you. Oh, you'll like this one. Now, Throckmall, don't boast the time. Yes, I won't, Lela. Now, let's just try it, shall we, Michael? Just come upstairs with me, and if you don't like the story, you can come down here again. Is that a pharmaceutical Throckmall? Cross my heart and hope you die. I die. All right, but I'm warning you, Lela. Yeah, suit yourself, my boy. No animal stories. I'll be back in a moment, Lela. And I don't like stories. And I really can't stand them. Never mind. Ah, young man, let's come to an understanding. I want you to get in your bed and stay there. But I don't want to. All right. What do you want most of anything in the world? Kids. Well, next to that, be reasonable. I want a chemistry set. Sucker. What do they cost? Two dollars and a half, I believe. All right, here's three dollars. Now, do you think you can go to sleep? I think so. All right, sweet dreams. Hi, Lela. I have a way with children. I didn't realize you were such a story teller. You'd be surprised. Oh, don't stop playing, Lela. That was beautiful. Well, if you really enjoyed the story, you told Michael, won't you? What? And put you to sleep, too? I bet it wouldn't tell me a story, Throckmont. All right, I'll tell one just for you. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Lela. She was the prettiest princess in the whole world. Is the princess asleep for a hundred years on account of a witch? That's right. And what does it take to wake her up? A kiss. From a prince? No, from a water commissioner. Lela. Yes, Throckmont. Lela. You know everybody. Well, all of this is the last straw. What do you mean, Throckmont? You know what I mean. I wanted an evening alone with you, and here she is again. Well, I'm sorry, Throckmont. Don't you try to pull a wool over my eyes. You and your sister planned this. But Throckmont, we didn't. I'm not blind, Lela. Your sister's doing to me just what she did to Harry Dittendorfer. I'll be deep in back. I'll be deep in back. I don't know what you're talking about. She's been keeping us apart, tearing me down, trying to break off our engagement. It's a conspiracy. Throckmont, give her sleep. I've never heard such talk. It's not just talk, Lela. I'm through being made a fool of by your sister and your sister's little boy. You can choose between us right now. Mr. Gilda Sleep, I will not deny my own flesh and blood for you or anybody else. Please consider our engagement. But what? Your lipstick. Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, here's a special bulletin from Washington. Price Administrator Prentiss M. Brown announces that effective today, shoes are rationed. This includes all shoes with leather or rubber soles. Wartime requirements make this necessary. Every person will be entitled to buy one pair of new shoes during the next four months. There are only three things you must know. First, no shoes may be sold to consumers until Tuesday. Second, beginning Tuesday, every person is entitled to buy one pair of shoes with stamp number 17 of War Ration Book One, the Sugar and Coffee Book. Third, the shoe stamp from the ration book of one member of a family may be used for any other member of that family group living in the same household. And here's a special word for shoe dealers. Remember, shoes cannot be sold at retail until Tuesday morning, but dealers may make and receive shipments and place orders as usual within the trade. Beginning Tuesday, retailers must collect stamp number 17 from War Ration Book One for every pair sold to consumers. Supplies are large enough to provide everyone with shoes and to give everyone his fair share. Good night, everybody. You women are having your shopping troubles these days. So let me tip you off to a quick solution to that main dish problem. At your food store, whenever you see the yellow and blue package, mark craft dinner. Think of this. Macaroni and cheese ready in seven minutes cooking time. You see that craft dinner package contains a special quick cooking macaroni that cooks fluffy, tender, and boiling water. The package also gives you a quick, quick, quick, quick recipe. That cooks fluffy, tender, and boiling water. The package also gives you some craft grated so you can sprinkle in the cheese goodness in a jiffy. Just seven minutes at the stove and you have a dish full of fluffy, light macaroni drenched in cheese goodness. A grand main dish all by itself. And a wonderful extender for a little leftover meat or chicken, too. Each package of craft dinner gives you four good servings at the cost of only a very few cents of serving. Of course, this quick-made macaroni and cheese is extra popular right now. So it's wise to order your craft dinner early in the week.