 They used to call me, uh, Shock and Scanlon, um, Crazy Man, uh, Shock and Joe, and stuff like this. They gave me these names because, um, one reason, because I was crazy, you know, that's what people thought I was, because I act always funny and crazy and stuff. The other reason was because, um, I was just, uh, I bought a shotgun, and I saw it off, and people saw me carrying a shotgun. And, uh, that's how I got, you know, you know, this name, you know, Shock and Joe. When I came up here, the guys in here in this institution called me, uh, Shock and Joe. My mother, well, this guy named Buck, and, uh, one night he let me use the car, and this lady pulled, and I was following this lady in the back, and, uh, as we got into this intersection, I thought she was going to keep on going. I was, I was high, and I was really fucked up, you know? And, uh, here going, and the lady put on her brakes, and my reaction was slow, and I hit her in the back. The car spun around, and, uh, I had the car spun around. I think I hit my head or something, but I got back up, and I started the car again. I took off down the street. Now, the apartment where I lived wasn't too far, I'd say about 200 yards, at the most, you know, from my, uh, you know, where I hit the lady, and I started going down the street. The lady started following me, and another guy got in with her. Uh, and I got into another car, and then he started following me, too. So, we turned on Capitol Avenue, and we parked there, and, uh, the lady was sitting, the lady jumped out of a car and said to me, uh, Sonny, come here. And I was going to run, but, and maybe, and thought the car was going to be stolen, but I walked over, and she said, I'm going to call a cops. But then the other guy who falls her, she waved to him and said, uh, don't worry, you can, uh, go now, you know, it's all right. So, she goes to the telephone booth, and I'm trying to, I'm begging, I'm pleading, don't call a cop. I don't have any insurance. I didn't tell her, I didn't have any license because, uh, if I did, she really called a cop. And I almost had her, I said, please, I'll give you my address and my telephone number and everything. I was just going to be all bullshit I was going to give her. And I was just going to be all bull. And so she, uh, she walked in the telephone booth, and I was, I was drunk and I was scared. And she just picked up the receiver on the phone. She was, I say she was about 60 years old. She just picked up the receiver and I hit her. I caught her right in the face. She fell right against the telephone booth. She fell down. I knocked her cold. She fell down. I picked her up, put her over my shoulder. Her dress was way up here. You can see her legs and everything. I picked her up. I covered her up, but I walked about, about from here, about 20 feet to the back of the calyx. It was parked in a parking lot. And I laid her on the seat and I took the telephone, took the umbrella, put the umbrella over, shut the door and I took off. Oh yeah, very friendly. Gee, he's talking about anything at all. I think he's very friendly. Um, I walked into the place, I was really, I was really high. I was really fucked up. I had my shock and it was a sort of double barrel shock. And I walked up to it and I walked up to the purse, me and my buddy, we walked in. I had the shock on my side. I said, ladies, this is a stick up. The lady just froze down the table and I took the shock and I rammed it and I hit her on the forehead. So she put the cash, the money on the cash box, I mean on the table and she says to me, um, what do you mean this is a holdup? I said, this is a holdup, lady. Yeah, there was a certain, certain, uh, brashness about him that I couldn't help but admire. And certainly these are traits, even though they might be in the wrong direction, uh, at, at this time, uh, I, I saw that could be developed in another area. He, uh, he, uh, indicated to me that he could be somewhat of a leader. We, uh, went down this Castleoma restaurant. I was feel having a way down the street, about a half a mile, good three-fourths of a mile. And we walked in there and me and, me and another guy, we walked in there and, uh, I saw this guy yelling out pizza orders, you know, one mozzarella to go, you know, and stuff like that, one mozzarella to go. And so I went over there and, uh, nobody was around. They must have went in the back room because I grabbed the microphone and I was fooling around the switch and I turned out and I went in this and it started going on. So I took the microphone and I walked right over to the, to the word of the, uh, everybody's at me. I started singing. I think it was strangers in the night. You know, Scooby Dooby Doo, Scooby Dooby. And, uh, I think everybody was laughing. The whole place was, I mean, war. And I stopped. They started clapping. The whole people started clapping. And I was excited because, you know, it was my first, you know, for an audience, everybody's clapping and everything. And so the guy, I was embarrassed as the guy grabbed me and my buddy had the pizza. The guy grabbed me and he started running me to these two glass doors. There was one here to open and one to go into the hallway and one to go out again. Well, he got me through one of them and somehow I grabbed him. I turned him around and I pushed him right through the glass window and I got up on top of him and I started hitting him, boom, boom. My buddy came out. He slipped with mozzarella all over my hands. I'm hitting him, boom, boom. And this guy's like, hey, wait a minute, stop, stop. And everybody's on the outside. They're watching us. But you know, people like that, they don't, they don't stop me. Know what I mean? I like him personally. Yeah, I like him as a person. That's right. I don't dislike any of them. Let's put it that way. I don't dislike none of the boys. The bird's name is Oscar. And the cat's name is Smokey Joe. My sister named it after me. And I used to get my sister's sister mad all the time by taking the cat. It was only a small cat about, you know, just a kid. And I used to take the cat and put it right in the bird cage, shut the cage and let the bird run around and let the cat, the cat would go after it and try to get it. Or I just take the bird out of the cage, tie its wings together and let it run for its life all around the place. It used to, the bird, a bird can run quick when it's, you know, somebody's chasing them. The cat used to swing at it, knock the bird across the floor. But like I was saying after it grew up, I didn't tie it down anymore because the cat used to go onto the furniture and wait till I open the cage. The bird used to walk out onto the ledge of the cage and the cat would go after it and caught it in the mouth one time. The bird got caught by the cat. All right, man. What about doll? Right. All right. All right, now force distinguishing characteristics of our proper nouns and common nouns. There's one outstanding characteristic about a proper noun. That is, it used to begin with the capital letter. Remember that. Okay, Scallon, now what did I say about a proper noun? Well, he knows. He knows. Well, he knows what's going on. Why don't you know what's going on? He knows what's going on. I slipped. Yeah. I don't know. Scallon, Scallon, we just went over it, man. Hey, be cool, man. Don't throw any crayon across my face. Okay. All right. If you don't want to stand here and participate with the stuff, that's what I got in the class. I want you to tell me one good reason why you don't want to be in school. That's all I'm interested in. It's not helpful. Okay. It's not happening because you don't want to help you. You're not helping me. You're giving me a reason, right? That's a reason. You told me to give you one answer, right? I thought you'd give me a reason and that is no reason. Do I leave then? Man, you might as well get out of my class and get out of school. Fuck it. I don't want to come to fucking town. Hey, look at him. Say, ding here. Come back here, man. Come back here. Come back here. Hey, look at him. You don't throw my chills around in here, David. No. Come and pick this shit up and get out. No fucking. Later, baby. When he is among a group, he has to keep up his image. And that's his big thing. That's the only thing he's concerned with. Oh, I see the utter chaos raining between his ears, you know? And the only kind of thing, the only kind of string that I can see in his behavior is the way he continually seeks to enhance this image of being, well, some kids talk of him as being the comedian, or some kids talking about being the hard guy. He loves this image and he builds on it all the time. He's inside and he's really nothing. He has to keep up this bravado, this hero business constantly. The moment he lets up, he's nothing. I think he has no grasp whatsoever of what is going to get him ahead. He is not a dumbbell. He is not a damn fool, but he needs help. And he's creative because this kid could tell a story off the top of his head. That is absolutely fantastic. And you can believe every word he says. The kid is great. But in the direction that he's going, he's not going to live very long because when he gets out of here, someone is going to blow him away. A cop or somebody else. Yeah, he wants to lead a life of crime. You know, he thinks he really digs. He wants to read books about crime and about big time, you know. And how do you argue with a guy like that? You know, when you sit there and you say, look, you know, it's really bad, crime's bad, you know. And you feel like a fool saying, he says, well, you know, it's some people pick business, some people pick being a lawyer and I pick being a criminal. He's a loser. Yeah, this thing he doesn't see, you know, turning other people off. If I'm here. Well, he's a loser. Yeah. He's a loser, but he's a good leader. Well, you know, when you go right next to me, you know, it's coming in the kitchen, telling me, you know, what you're doing, John. You know, fighting, carrying on, you know. A lot of times down to school, you know, they'll come up to you and say, well, I don't like you. I'm going to hit you, you know, and just fooling around, right? So you're all set for a fight and then all of a sudden, I'll come up with a joke. Like, he makes your time go by easier. You know, it's the type of kid you can't help, but like sometimes, but sometimes you just can't think of it. It's too much. I think he's too self-centered, you know, you know. As far as, you know, even talking about, you know, when he goes out into society and that he wants to go, you know, doing the same thing, I don't think he's serious, you know. I don't think nobody could be serious about going back out and doing the same thing, you know. I got you here the first time, you know. I don't know, Joe's a little mixed up, I think he's pretty mixed up. It flies off to him, but he doesn't have, he's got everything going for him. I mean, he's got it wrong, the ball. He's got an image thing, man. And here, anyway, I don't know about the bricks, but in here, he's got an image thing that he tries to maintain. You know, he tries to keep cool and everything. I don't think he's that honest with himself as he should be, man. He should look at himself and say, man, where are you going? What are you doing, you know? Hold it up, Mark. Hold it up, Mark. December, January, February, March, April, May, 3rd, 1970, it is a long time, is it? October, November, December. Be here Christmas, and Salvation Army comes in and plays the old band's movie, you know. New Year's. You know, this is the South Block here, you know. And from the camera, this is going to be shown. People think, you know, you can go right through these windows, you know, if you wanted to get out or something, you know. But you're not going to get out because there's still reinforcements all here. The window, as you see it, you see it. You're not going to get through it because it's solid steel all the way. And if you put a cheer or anything in it, you can forget about it. Because the only way you're ever going to get through here is a crane and a ball going right through here. That's the only way you're going to get through. I get three meals a day, Eric. Food, relaxation. But there's nothing better than being on that brick. Nothing better. I walk down the street, and oh, boy. I want to see that. There's only one reason I want to go on the back of the street. And it's to honest our truth. I want to take care of my sisters, and my sister. Probably I have to take care of Betty Ann, too. But I want to take care of them. I really do. I took care of them before. I want to take care of them again. When I get out there, they say, shit, yeah, fuck, yeah. They get what they want. I'll stay up for them, and I'll stay up for them. Probably every bit of money I gave them was either stolen, or maybe if I had a job, I guess. But the big money I gave them like $70, $80, $90 to buy clothes, and they'll verify this. It was hot money. They bought, I didn't tell them it was hot, but I love that girl. I give her anything, any fucking thing. Anything she fucking wanted, she's got. Oh, she's taking a hold. This is my prayer book. I get them every month there. Monthly Miss Alette. I'm an altar boy if you want to know about me, huh? Big shit. I'll read a couple to you, Eric. Let me read one from when I have fucked moms. Let me read a letter from my sister. Are you getting out this January? She doesn't know I got another bid. That what Miss Bush told me. So in your next letter, I want you to tell me, so I'll know. If there's anything you want when I come up for any more questions, you want an answer. You just write, tell me. Joe, don't worry about me. I've been a good girl. And I'm ever in the, I'm always in the house at my Vivian's house, so don't worry. Betty Ann told me to tell you that she loves you. Joe, I got to clean the house so right soon, and don't ever forget I love you and miss you. Bye bye, your sister, Diana. I miss you a lot, Joe and Diana forever, brother. No doubt about it. I love you, brother. That good? Huh? Wait a minute, let me find you. You know, it's hard finding these letters. Audrey, Bush, my social worker. Dear Joe, she's got no fucking right to call me dear. It's Mr. Scanlon, right? Because I don't respect her. She respect me. I'm not that close with her. I thought I would drop you a short note. Look how long the note is to let you know how things are going. I know you've been aware your mother was hospitalized during later part of August. I don't want to know about this crap, because I don't care about my mother. I don't want nothing to do with her. She's now back home still in close contact with Dr. Glasgow, alias Mr. Hyde. We had been trying to work out a ride for her to Cheshire. I told him I didn't want no way of coming to see me, but my sister. Unfortunately, she was hospitalized because not carried through on this plan. Thank God. Peace. He was on 4th of July, I never forgot. He won a lawsuit for a new car, $23,000. He didn't give me no money, just took joy. For the weekend, he said, be back. He never came back to Jones. He had enough money to have a good time in Disneyland. And I never could find Joe. So he came back and wasn't the same anymore. That won't make some of that way today. He was always good to me. Like I say, he took me away when I was about 5, 5 or 6. I remember I was just going to go to school. He took me out of a car accident. He took me to California and all that and shit like that. I was $1,600. I take $1,600 or $2,600. I got out of a car accident. My son came back when he was 12 years old. And he was all disturbed. And the woman that used to take care of him, he used to pull his hair. He used to put them in a corner. And I never knew that. So we had to please one or the state to find what the husband is, to take Joe home. So Joe came home. You didn't even know I was the mother. As far as I used to say, your mother was dead. And I never forgot it. Well, the first arrest was when my mother says I hit her. I wouldn't. At first, she told me to leave the house and told me not to leave the house. But finally, I said, OK, I'm packing up and everything. And there's a big argument in the house and a lot of it. They said I struck her, but I didn't strike her. For this day, to this day, this was happened in 67, I think it was. I didn't strike her. And so downstairs, they called the cops. The cops came. My mother was all upset. She started saying I hit her and everything, fucking thing. My sisters were crying. They denied it. My mother says, yeah, I want him arrested for assault. He hit me and shit. Well, he bangs the door when he's angry, but he never put a hand on me, you know? He walks away and then he comes back and says, I'm sorry, but you don't cry. I said, shit, breach of peace by assault? $10, $5, $15, $5. That was all right. Went to court and I pleaded guilty and they gave me nine months. It's ages 16 in jail, nine months. And so you lied to mama, and you start banging the door. He don't call me a liar, he says. He's telling you to talk. So he got mad, he banged the door, and he went out. So he called off, and then he comes back and sit down. Then he put his head down and he started crying. So you hurt your mother so much, you don't wear all that sick on your hand. Been in the hospital almost six times, a heart attack, a blood pressure. I worry too much about my job, always worry. The doctors say I worry too much about them. And then we have a chance to see them, if I'm in the hospital, I move it. But it take easy, I can't go so far away, kind of have a heart attack. She called the cops, I mean, I picked up the phone and called the cops. Well, I ran out, ripped the phone out of the wall. I ran back in my room, I walked back in my room, she kept her knee all in. I told her, why don't you go to see, she's got a lady who has heart trouble. My mother has heart trouble when she's nervous and shit like that. And she'll use that as a crutch for herself. Because I love Joe. I gave him everything he wanted. He didn't have to go unsteal it. But I didn't have it, I just didn't have it. Live without it. That he's the type to go out and get it and satisfy me, but I didn't believe the idea. I didn't like the idea at all. I knew he was doing something wrong when he comes home late. The ice, I'm just like the father. He says, you're just like your old man, she says. I don't think my father ever got busted, I'm not quite sure, I think so maybe. But I don't think I'm like my old man. Joe used to come home four o'clock in the morning and ask where you've been or at friend's house. They were stealing left and right. That's how he got the money and I never knew it. I don't, I just don't care about money. More than anymore. I love her. Wish she'd not gonna hurt me like she did so many fucking years, that's for sure. Like I told him in his letters, in my letters, you can't explain the kind of feeling that I have for him. He just has to know that I love him. And now I'll never try to hurt him. Yeah, I saw the shrink Monday and he says I just worried too much. I keep my problems on sight, he says. The best thing for Joe, and I think for all of us, like is that when my brother comes out, I know for definite that I'm gonna go with them. I mean, that means if Joe gets in trouble, I'm gonna be there too. Because why should my brother get time, you know, when everybody else is sitting home because it's just hurting him more knowing that we're all sitting home. And like having a good time and going out and everything, and he's not doing that. What if he rocks up in some damn place? Every time I think about my mother, father, sister, you know, Rosemary, or anything that pisses me off, I just go out on the mat and go into another mood. And I'm not funny no more, I don't fool around no more. You will take the reins, you will sit at the right hand of the plow, and have the first gen of us. You will own our home, you will own our Lord, you will own our friends, the Christ of our Lord, the Holy Spirit, the glory of God, the Father, amen. The Lord be with you, let us pray. I'm not gonna be the one that makes it. What are you scared of? Huh? What are you scared of? What I can do if I blow up. I'm afraid I might hurt somebody. Eric, if I bloop against you, I kill you. That's why I am like, I don't stop. I just keep going, I keep going. You know, that might hurt somebody. I know I hit my sister one time, I let go one time, I hit my sister in the side, and I bust a tour of fucking ribs. No more, no more. Eric, we stopped this, I wanna go back to myself. Okay? You wanna stop? Yeah. Yeah, I don't like to be sad, that's all I like to think. I don't like to, I don't expect to be happy. Happy all the time.