 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم والحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على أشرف الخلق والمرسلين أب القاسم محمد وعلى آل بيته الطيبين الطاهرين الله سبحانه وتعالى سز ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة في this ayah الله سبحانه وتعالى is showing us this divine merciful bond between the wife and the husband ومن آياته it's a clear sign that Allah سبحانه وتعالى is showing us because we are a human, we are not animals and the relation between man and a woman as a wife, as a husband and a wife Islam considered one of the signs that a person has to consider and think about and appreciate as a matter of fact because through the relation we are building a new society we are pumping a new blood to the society every new family that means a new improvement to the society if it is good and vice versa it could be constructive, it could be destructive and this is Allah سبحانه وتعالى is showing us through this ayah ومن آياته one of His signs خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا among this human race الله سبحانه وتعالى made such kind of bond between man and woman through marriage من أنفسكم among you not among aliens and you orgen and you angels and you among you من أنفسكم you belong to the same humanity you belong to the same responsibility you belong to the same compassion you belong to the same mercy you belong to the same path you belong to the same justice you belong to the same message you belong to the same tranquility and you belong to this way of improving society through your marriage that's gonna generate a new blood, new generation a new constructive beings to humanity من أنفسكم so your wife has rights in the society as you have rights in the society because you belong to this message to this race race as a human I'm talking not as black and white I'm not talking about ethnicity I'm talking about a human fellow this humanity in order to continue is gonna be through that channel this proper channel which we call it marriage between the wife and the husband man and woman now people are ruining it people they have different ideas about marriage is marriage really between man and woman that's their stuff they deal with it they deal with it as an event and they deal with it as a consequences because it's gonna have so many destructive consequences but from our side what we are concerned about this normal situation which we call it marriage وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة between man and woman between the wife and the husband we have الله سبحانه وتعالى as a matter of fact put between them mercy مودة ورحمة love and mercy kindness الله سبحانه وتعالى is making it clear مارج is not a place of a battlefield is not a place to fight is not a place to show how strong you are is not a place to revenge is not a place for carelessness is not a source of carelessness when there is marriage that means you are thinking about مودة ورحمة love, kindness and on the other side mercy compassion this is marriage Islam considers marriage this way ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها when you are dwelling together under the same roof in the same house that means you are establishing a bond based on this mercy on this kind of love to make your life full of tranquility this is the first step in marriage and that's why from the beginning when you know you are going to be the father and she knows from the beginning that she is going to be a mother at one point then when you are going to get married do not just pick or choose or accept anyone before you say yes for marriage make sure you are choosing the proper person because this person you are going to live with him or her forever that's the plan of marriage that's the only person who is going to keep seeing you as a young one because he is the only person who can keep your beautiful image in his or her mind no matter how old you are going to get no matter how sick you are going to be no matter how pressure you are going to be on your shoulder or that burden at one point you are going to be responsible about the only person who is going to give you comfortable situation and make you live in tranquility and keep giving you hope because of your partner and that's the beauty of marriage and because of your sacrifices because of the sacrifices of the parents then we are going to have a better members in the society a better generation a good kids in the society so from the beginning I have to pick this proper person and that's why so many narrations before you get married choose use your rational thinking analyze do not just follow your emotion marriage is not built only on emotion emotions are important but that's not everything beauty could be something important to you I mean it is everything and rational thinking intelligent character is important maybe for you but that's not everything when you are picking your partner you have to think first of all about his logical thinking rationality is he a rational person or is she a rational person is not good enough to say he has a good faith but let's say he or she could be done is that a solution guess what so what will happen when I'm raising my kids if the parents are not up to the challenge they don't have common sense did that help me because oh I like this guy that's it done or because he likes that lady done deal you have to go beyond that you have to give your intelligence your rational thinking rational thoughts you have to give it a chance plus you add to it the chance from the emotions and then your decision could be more worth it and will have better consequences they say at one time a person came to the prophet and he asked the prophet oh prophet I need an advice the prophet looked at him he said if I give you an advice are you willing to consider it to follow it he said yes هل أنت مستوصن إذا أنا أو سيتك are you going to take care of it he said yes second time the prophet emphasized on this statement are you going to consider what I'm going to tell you what I'm going to advise you about this person said yes for the third time so the prophet is showing the importance of this message are you sure you're going to consider what I'm going to advise you he said yes then the prophet said إذا أنتها منت بأمرين فتدبر عاقبتها إذا you're going to do something do not just look at this item this issue this problem do not just consider the event or the situation go beyond this check the consequences of it إذا أنتها هممت بأمرين فتدبر عاقبتها look at consider the consequences of it does it have good consequences is going to have a good result or bad result فا يكو خيرا فنده if it is good the consequences of that doing or that work is good then go for it فنده وَأَيَكُوا غَيَّنْ فَنْتَهِعَنْ and if we're to be bad stop it don't go for it same thing when we come to a big important thing like marriage you look at it is it does it fit Islamic standards I you know a person might say I like this lady but she is not she does not pray you know she might lie she might you know do haram things she is drunk most of the time then what what kind of marriage is this your question should be is that lady going to be a good mom for my kids that's the first question you are not just marrying you know a set of standards she is going to be taking care of your kids taking care of the house taking care of you and you are going to be taking care of her taking care of the kids taking care of the house also there is an responsibility there and if you just consider the beauty factor let's say you might buy something very important you have been dreaming about for years you buy it you use it couple times and you keep forgetting about it it's like you buy a rose and definitely there is big difference between marriage and buying I am just giving you an example something is going to be with you because your wife is your soul partner but this is just a metaphoric one to simplify things you buy you get a rose you get a rose you put it you like it the first day you take care of it the second day you keep smelling it you enjoy looking at it but couple days later you forget about it it's gone especially when that rose start declining it's not as beautiful as before it's not as appealing as you know as before it's a problem so once the marriage is built on some materialistic things the marriage will fail because if you get married he is rich because he is rich I want to get married with him guess what at a point you might be richer or he might be poor then what else what's next if you are enjoying marriage because of the big house nice car good spending there is a point you might lose everything if you get married because of the shape because of the image because of certain attributes materialistic materialistic ones there is a point you are going to lose all that because a human keeps a human being keeps it changing maybe better maybe worse so you connect yourself to more important stuff yes this is considered it's a nice factor it's a nice added value which is nothing wrong with it if I have it but I do not make my car based on all that I have more important stuff more important stuff which is what which is this relation this chemistry when I create mercy tranquility peaceful family peaceful house productive house a house that is not full of clashes a house that's not full of problems of fights a house that has no place for crying drugs a house that is full of morality trust divine message a house that the angels will be proud of a house that the angels are not willing to even take a look at and through that brothers and sisters I can reduce the probability of having a dysfunctional family through the first step that's why from the beginning you have to choose the right person do not let some ahadith say do not some narrations mention do not let your wife get married with a person who is drunk why because he's not gonna protect her he's not gonna take care of her rights big thing he's not gonna be a good father he's not gonna be a supportive person in this in the house for the family members he's not he's drunk he's careless this is a very important thing and that's why we have several narrations إذا جاءكم من تردون خلقه ودينه فزوجو الإسلام considered morality ethical dimension إذا جاءكم من تردون خلقه ودينه sometimes he could be a Muslim oh I am a Muslim yes he's a Muslim that means Islam is to be submissive to God in a very peaceful tranquil to be submissive to God in a peaceful way guess what this husband or future husband he is Muslim he is submissive to all people but not to the orders and commands of Allah he is so nice with everyone but he is not nice with his wife he has to be Muslim that means he is obeying God he is not arrogant when Allah SWT is ordering him to be good with his family that's what religion mean you believe in religion you do not just believe in sound and fasting and you do not believe in the rights that you have to take care and consider when it comes to your wife this is religion it's a one package deal you cannot have tweak religion take one piece and forget about others when you say I am a Muslim that you believe in this constitution that's why من تردون خلقه ودينه that means he believe in this religion he is on the right path he does not deny the obligations but Allah SWT put a burden on him and same thing for the wife خلقه it's obvious he has to be moral he has to be with a good characteristics with good characteristics with a good personality فزوجوه then if he is good if he is accepted and his religion is accepted then this is a good husband this is a good wife this is the way things go otherwise the marriage will be dysfunctional yes it's going to look very beautiful you might spend thousands and thousands of dollars to have a beautiful wedding to rent a beautiful car to go to a beautiful resort to rent an expensive an expensive hotel let's say room in a very expensive area buying tickets taking vacation and yet the marriage is not successful why because you did not follow the proper tools or outlines you just invented your own you did not consider Islam as a message you were tweaking it to make it you know feasible to fit your needs now more now less and this is very dangerous no from the beginning let's have it based on good things in the beginning as a wife and a husband your constitution is Quran your constitution is what أهل البيت and the prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم taught us and by that I will have a peaceful functional family and that's why when we look at the marriage of Ali and Fatima and even before that we look at the marriage of the prophet and Khadija they do not talk about their big impressive wedding people they do not historian they do not talk about this expensive beautiful impressive wedding dress that Khadija had no this is gone nobody even consider considers that we talk about this highly functioning family a family of Muhammad the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and Lady Khadija was able to deliver one significant important the most significant important lady on earth Fatima that we keep talking about her and we keep talking about Khadija and we keep talking about the prophet Muhammad and they keep giving us hope giving us lessons giving us teaching us helping us to improve our lives through their marriage through their relation through the way they established a good family Khadija they used to say was a rich lady she picked the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم why because Muhammad was rich صلى الله عليه وسلم because the prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم had a highly integrated personality he was very good person he had very good values he was a real human being that's why she said this is my choice the result the result of this marriage a lady like Fatima عليه السلام Fatima the daughter of Muhammad and Khadija عليه وسلم this is this is the way you look at it but just to follow your desire to follow your lust to follow your emotions to follow your needs without respecting Islamic outlines without considering the next step without considering that this relation is the foundation of a new generation is going to be good or bad you are careless about all the responsibilities then definitely there is a bigger chance you are going to have a very dysfunctional family and your next generation your offspring will not be as good as you because so many reasons this is an example another example is the marriage of عليه and Fatima some people they think it's just because they are sacred because they are Imam because they are prophets because we have this sacred offspring it's not just because of these brothers and sisters it's not just because Fatima عليه السلام is infallible and because عليه عليه السلام also is sinless and Allah سبحانه وتعالى made them that way definitely then we had Imam Hassan and Imam Hussein and a lady significant lady like Zainab عليه السلام no, not just because of this being a sinless person being an Imam that does not mean it's going to force you to be a good person Allah knows from the beginning whether I make you a Imam or not or I make you a prophet or not you are going to be a good character from the beginning Allah does not just bring a lazy, careless, irresponsible person and give him اسمه that means he is sinless now and tell him ok now you are a prophet no, this is not the case Allah from the beginning no, those people are special people and that's why they deserved to be sinless to be Lady Fatima to be the prophet, to be the Imam and if you take let's assume you can do this you take this level from them they are going to stay good they will never change because this is their set of moralities this is it so when we look at their lives we do not just oh he is Imam Ali she is Fatima I cannot be like them no Imam Ali did not pick any lady Imam Ali picked a person that can match his purity his piety his responsibility that fits his message which is the message of Islam that the Prophet ﷺ delivered to us and that's why when you seek Allah سبحانه وتعالى Allah's satisfaction and what Allah wants from you then Allah will compensate you you will be rewarded a good offspring good children good kids and that's why from Ali and Fatima we had Al-Hasan and Al-Hussain not any offspring imams and they used to put efforts with their kids they used to put efforts to raise them in a good way they do not just leave them oh they are going to be imams so they are good no no no it's not the case and raising the kids and how that should be and whose responsibility is that is it the mother is it the father all that Insha'Allah we are going to be talking about later on