 The reason why the narcissist has to cause as much pain as possible The narcissist has to hurt you They're never satisfied They're comfortable with dysfunctionality So it may seem as though they have to be uncomfortable at all times They have to be dissatisfied with whatever you're doing because then they can justify what they're doing And then they can keep doing what they're doing. They need to cause chaos and drama They need to have a problem with you, but although they claim there's all of these problems They continue to remain around you They're still a part of your life They're still trying to mold you into what they want you to be Instead of just leaving you alone They act like it's because they're concerned about you They love their family They want to make things right and that's why they can't go But if you've watched my videos You will know that this is all a lie They're only around you because they're getting something out of it Narcissists are only concerned with their own interests They don't care about what happens to you Which is why once you've spent enough time with them You become an emotional wreck They drain your bank account While they're portraying this image as though they're going to do whatever they can to support the family because of course Narcissists are always favoring and encouraging traditional family structures and values And that's why you can't get them away from you Because they're so tied to this image and how it makes them look And also the benefits that they get from being with you It makes their lives very convenient That's why they're always standing in the center of the room and they won't leave That's why you can't even go into the kitchen to make something to eat Without them bothering you Without them talking at you About something that's not relevant or important to you Because they're only concerned with their own interests Everything has to be at their convenience Everything has to aid them There always has to be a problem They always have to be dissatisfied with something They have to cause chaos and drama Because they are emotionally dependent on these situations They have to externalize however they feel about themselves They have to have an excuse for why they're doing what they're doing So that they can get supply for as long as they need it from you Which is why any interaction you have with them Is always emotionally charged They're always trying to manipulate your emotions It's like it penetrates your skin And you always feel down whenever you're around them They have been using their emotions to get what they want for a very long time They're like big babies Their words don't really mean anything What they're saying never makes any sense They don't really accomplish anything with their actions It's all from their emotions From their temper tantrums From pretending to be nice to people That's what gets them what they want Which is why whenever you're around them You feel emotional It's like a skill that they have Some people know how to make you feel really good They can make you feel safe and secure Where you want to open up to them While narcissists have the opposite effect They make you want to shut down and close yourself off They say mean things Often without even realizing the effect that it's having on you Because they're so self-absorbed They lack empathy They cannot share your experiences Which is why it always feels like you're on your own Being in a relationship with a narcissist Is lonelier than being alone Because at least then you have your own company You can attend to yourself While with a narcissist you can't even do that Because they demand all of your attention and focus to be on them But no matter what you do for them They're always dissatisfied It's like there's constantly something wrong all of the time And it's constantly affecting you This is the effect of this skill That narcissists have mastered They know how to make you feel down They know how to make you feel bad about yourself Just like some people know how to make you feel good about yourself But with narcissists it's the opposite Because how we treat people Is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves When someone feels good about themselves You feel that Just as you can feel the narcissist's self-hatred Because they project it outwardly onto you and make you identify with it Until it becomes a part of you and then they feel relieved They blame everyone for their problems It's like a part of who they are It's a characteristic trait It's what they do They hold you responsible for everything And they use that to justify what they do When they have to punish you When they have to cause as much pain as they possibly can But they're often not even dissatisfied with anything They just use it to create the environment that they like It gets them what they want It gets their needs met They make you feel like there's always a problem But then you soon discover There's no problem at all Because they're actually comfortable in dysfunctional environments Because then they can be in control If they create the problem They can then provide the solution A solution will always be in their favor It will always benefit them And it will always be at your expense Which is why the situations where they are really dissatisfied Is when there's no way for them to complain When you give them everything that they need When you give them everything to make them feel comfortable That is when you will see them act up the most That is when they will have a breakdown That is when you will see the problems Things will just come out of nowhere Suddenly and unexpectedly Things that you never could have anticipated That is when you will really see them panicking Because they have to have an environment Where there is something to complain about They need to have a crisis Where you need to fix something Because something is wrong And if you don't do it You're bad But no matter what you do You're always going to be bad anyway They take up all of your time with you having to fix all of this stuff But when you get rid of all of the problems That is when you will see the real problem Which has nothing to do with anything in the external environment The real problem exists within them Which they are trying to hide by putting the finger at everyone else Because they're never in situations where there are real problems It's always a situation where it's good enough so that they can exploit everything It's not going to be a dangerous environment But they will always make you feel like something's wrong They will always try to keep you in a fearful state Because that's what gives them control It provides them with emotional support It regulates their emotions It makes them feel comfortable within themselves Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you were like the Nate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching Inquiries You can email me at coachingnetandarchsafiver.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon