 Good evening and thank you for joining us on Y-2-5-4 News Updates, my name is Patricia Morioki. Tonight we're going to be talking about building a moral life. We're going to see how do we make sure that our behaviors, our attitude and even the social media pressure that we get to see is going to impact our lives in a very positive way. And to help us talk about this topic tonight, we have Evifil Kiyoko of the Temple of Worship Ministries, he is a speaker and a life coach. We also have Gideon Makumi, who is the vice president of the Youth Mentorship Foundation. He is the administrator and human resource manager at Bethel Network. He is also a mentor, I forgot to mention that Evifil is also a mentor. So we're going to be having this conversation in a short while. Be part of this conversation by sharing your views and comments on our social media platforms that is on Y-2-5-4 channel. You can also reach me at Patricia Morioki. And tonight we're talking about how to build a moral life. Thank you guys for finding the time to join us for this conversation. I'm sure it is a very important thing that sometimes we might talk about and other times we try to assume. But before we really dig deep into this conversation, I would like to start with you Evifil on what really do we mean when we talk about living a moral life. Living a moral life. First of all, thank you very much for the opportunity. You're welcome. Living a moral life is living a life of integrity. It's living a life of admiration. It's living a life that reflects true virtues of a person with integrity. Okay. So Gideon, you're a young person and I can say that if there are people really struggling to manage to live a moral life, it's the young people because we have a lot of pressures. We have social media pressure. We have things that are changing technology and all that which is really affecting young people. What would you say for you because you're a young person? What do you think really defines something as someone who is living a moral life? Thank you, Patricia. I think when we discuss the subject morality, it is a wide area of, it's a set of behaviors that I believe as young people to pick them not at this age, at this stage. I understand the influence of social media and everything. But morality or morals are things we pick sometimes when we are very young. Sometimes we pick them subconsciously without really knowing that there's something growing inside of us. Other times it's through the kind of things, the kind of setup that we've grown in, how we've been raised by our parents, the things we grow, the kind of environment we grow in. We say that behavior and morals is a result of nature and nature. It has everything to do with where you've been as you grow up and who you are, who has raised your values that have been instilled in you while you are growing. So it's something, it's not a behavior that you pick on a single day that today you wake up and you are a moral pride person or you wake up and all of a sudden you are not a moral pride person. It is something, it's a journey. Okay, so I would like us to talk about traits. What then can we say is something that compromises? What can we look out for when we're trying to define someone we can say is living a moral life if we fail? When you want to define a moral life in a person, of course as a man think so is he. So it all starts from the line of thoughts of that person and the influence of external influence where that person has gotten that line of thinking. You can also be influenced by peer pressure, how you think people can influence you. Also as he said your environment, your environment where you stay can greatly influenced who you are and also your foundation. The word of God says train up a child in the way of the Lord and when they grow up they will not depart from it. So also the values that are instilled on you when you're younger greatly influence the kind of a man you will become in the future. You've talked about when you're trying to give us a definition of what living a moral life is, you've talked about virtues. I really like you to mention give us a feel like what do you think are some of the virtues and values that people can adopt to help them live a moral life. Okay basically virtues are good deeds or positive characters that we inhabit that greatly influence who we are and for example kindness is a virtue, goodness is a virtue, integrity is a virtue, giving is a virtue, basically good behaviors, basically virtue is anything positive that comes out of you even learning to say thank you, something small like to say thank you, I appreciate people sorry those are virtues that I think the society should be able to embrace in their day to day lives. Okay so we know that for us to be able to live the moral life that we're talking about I'm sure we need to have like times where we do self evaluations, you have a meeting with yourself, you check how have you been doing, how have you been relating with people. So Gideon how often do you think we should really have self evaluation and what really does that have and mean for people who are watching us tonight. Self evaluation I believe if you want to grow and become better all of us are working progress so this is something you should do on a daily basis. I know they are the major ones like at the end of the year where we say you're setting resolution and everything but I believe the best approach is where you keep track of your life and you are able to take stock and ask yourself where am I today, am I living the kind of life that I wish or have wished to a desire, am I living the kind of life that I'll say I'm happy. So when it comes to issues of morality and where you are I believe it's a daily business. It's like a ZZ glasses motivation they say motivation does not last it's like a shower you need one every day so is growing yourself and one has to be very intentional about it one has to really really be the one you know it's personal so personal growth and success in life including picking those virtues Pasafil is talking about it is something you have to be very intentional about. Okay so I really wanted us to touch on behavior and attitude as means that we should up what can we adopt really when it comes to behavior and attitude and I would like to bring you if you feel on this one when you talk about behavior I would like you to talk about etiquette I would like you to talk about respect especially for parents for people who are older than us and also for for example how do I also manage to respect Gideon as much as we are probably on the the same age. Okay I'll call that personal development and we need to invest in ourselves on a daily basis and it's not a one-off thing it has to be a consistent work for you to invest in yourself and these are things there are some things that are taught and there are some things that are caught you know and there are some things you can learn by your determination but there are some things that you can catch from people so something like saying thank you I appreciate you I am sorry you know those are things that we are taught and you can teach yourself and those are things also at the same time that are caught because we see how people are behaving out there and they and how people behaving out there is will either influence positively or negatively so some of those virtues take time if you do not help them actually they are disciplines they are disciplines it's a self-discipline that to discipline yourself because you can choose to be to be a bad person yes you can choose to be a bad person but when you discipline yourself to be who you want to be to be a great person number one again also you should look for a mentor you have to look up to something as I said earlier as a man think so is he get a mentor who will mentor you somebody who can watch and catch the things he is throwing at you and catch the things that he's doing therefore you will be able to develop yourself you're able to have personal development and the outcome of it basically will be positive because you've picked up positive things okay if you feel has talked about personal development and I believe when we touch on personal development it has a lot to do with attitude like for you to be able to grow as a person it depends on the type of attitude that you carry on so when you talk about attitude how does our attitude now then whether positive or negative get to affect has in terms of talking about living a moral life actually we say determines your attitude in life and sometimes you can be very good when it comes to the books you have very nice papers you have everything it takes to be said that you're qualified and as HR I've had an opportunity of interviewing many people when we have openings and I realize someone when you look at their CV in fact you even put it aside because you believe this is the best person this is the person that we are looking for wait until it gets to that time of the interview and the person is there I tell you it's not just about being sharp it's not about being bright it is about your attitude how are you relating people how are you he talked about the respect do you show respect do you conduct yourself in the right way and as long as your attitude is negative unfortunately it doesn't matter what else you have achieved it it what has it that it what has everything down because the right attitude and knowing how to behave when and how to even respond to issues another word we would use is emotional intelligence how how do you relate with people how do you show you are self how do you prove yourself right it is not just about the papers it's about your heart and the attitude is a matter of the heart it's not about thinking it's how you allow your heart to grow and how you allow your heart to pick those virtues you are talking about those morals because you can be very good at whatever you are doing but with the wrong attitude you wouldn't go far so as young people we need to embrace the right attitude sometimes humility is never standardized sometimes saying I'm sorry sometimes being patient it's not a problem you can wait sometimes even just allowing yourself to look stupid it is the stupid people or those who look stupid that excel in life but those who think they are no it all they have challenges okay so let us talk about social media with young people most young people right now if you even work in the streets of Nairobi just find people glued on their phones because Facebook Instagram and Twitter have become like a part of life and you know there is positive and there is negative influence from social media but if you feel like to for you to use that camera and talk to young people watching us tonight and how can they still be on social media but not let the pressure that they find there that is the negative influence affect their lives in making choices that maybe 10 years down the line they'll look back and they'll probably be no be no chance for them to redeem themselves thank you very much what I will tell the young people is that what you see on social media most of it is fiction and development has come yes we are living in a new era it's good to embrace the social media but only take what builds you you know only takes what makes you a better person not what makes you a better person only take what makes you grow to the next level number two you do not have to die in the surrounding you were born you do not die you do not have to die in the surrounding that influenced you you can make a choice today to change and become a greater person remember it is how you take it it is a people you work with when you work with great people you become great when you work with losers you become a loser so when you talking about the social media it is always very important we pick what will build us pick what will make you a better person pick what you grow you number three invest in yourself buy books go to social media read you know read things that that will make you a better person ask yourself questions have conversation have meetings with yourself how do i become a better person how do i become a better man how do i grow me and also become jealous guard your dignity let me tell you people can take away anything from you but what they can take away is your dignity be a dignified person protect your dignity when you go to social media don't post things you know sometime they see people are posting posting themselves half naked you know those things will stay there and you will have a life impact on your life you know pick things that will grow you pick things that will make you better and at the end of the day when you saw a good seed you will harvest good for your future i like something that you've talked about people will post anything on social media yes let's just talk about the morality of dressing we really don't have much time but i really like us talk about the morality when it comes to dressing we know there is a my dress my choice but really where now do we get to draw the line and be like it is your choice but when you get to to maybe probably go past this line then you really have in your morality affected gideon i think when it comes to dressing most important is to ask yourself why am i dressing this way if i put on if i'm a lady i put on something that is showing my breast for example why am i doing it is it because of the person i'm going to meet or probably i want to get that job through whatever they see the cleavage uh if you're a man you put something very tight is it to impress the ladies i think motivation for how you dress should be the first question don't dress to impress dress respectfully respect to respectfully in a way that if a person sees you they will respect you for whom you are because we are told first impression really matters okay is a place you go and how you address will put off the guys who are there because sometimes you may not you may innocently dress but probably you've not dressed appropriately according to the standards of where you're going and people will mistake in you for something else okay they will think you came to sell more than your creativity came to sell more than what they were looking for and that way you lose opportunities so as young people it doesn't hurt to cover yourself where it's necessary to cover and when God was creating us i believe there is a reason why at that time Adam and Eve were given that cover after they realized they were naked okay why are we changing the narrative why are we using our dress sometimes people even complain that this guy looked at me inappropriately this girl looked at me in a way that was not good but the question is what was my contribution towards that reaction from that person okay so it has it should really be a question of would i be if anyone else if someone else was dressed that way would i be comfortable in their presence do you think i'm making you happy the way i look okay yeah okay so uh if you feel uh for someone who is watching us tonight and they believe they have been uh living a life that has not seen they maybe make the best decisions what is your message today for someone who really wants now to go back and live a moral morally upright life it begins with a self conviction you have to have a conviction from within you that you want to change and there is always room to change and there's always room to become a better person but for you to become a better person you have to be hungry and thirsty for it you have to say i am tired of living the kind of life that i'm living and i want to be a responsible young person and it is possible and i have seen so many young people that have changed their lives you know changing from drugs abuse and all that and becoming better people and it needs you to make a choice and to understand that your life is in your hands it is not in anybody's hands and when you fail you will be the laughing stock first of all of yourself you will be the laughing so first of all of yourself so you have to make that choice and make a move and say i am tired of living this kind of life and i am becoming a better person and now begin to invest in yourself begin to develop yourself that is where a personal development comes in begin to invest in yourself grow you you know grow you jealously that's the right word grow you jealously and keep the right company as well don't just work with people show me a champion and i will show you his friends you know work with champions work with mighty men of vala people who will grow you people who will groom you you know number three i read books as i said earlier books with material go to the net you know ask questions because always be willing to learn again get a mentor get somebody you can look up to you know who you you can look up to and you can grow you and influence you because if you don't do that you you you stagnate in one point and sometimes you think you're growing and you're not okay as you wind up or like us to look at two areas i would like if you feel to address the role of the church in making sure that we are bringing up a generation that is morally upright and i would like a gidion to look at the role of the family let me start with your gidion what is the role of the family in making sure that we bring in up a generation that is morally upright it begins with our parents and for those parents who are watching i think it's very important to know that your son or your daughter much of whom they will become really depends on how you raise them and if you want to raise a morally upright child start by being morally upright yourself because children pick what they're saying i started by saying that we are product of nature in nature so how you nurture these children will really matter sometimes you may not have everything some of us were not raised in the best places but something we are thankful uh to our parents about is that at least they believed that you can become a morally upright person even if you don't have everything okay so our mums and our dads we're really looking up on you as role models it takes so many things to make up a child and the major ones are what they go through in their formative stages some of the sometimes allow children the freedom to express themselves but guide them and it parents to understand that a child is not your subject it is a blessing that god brought to you and your work is to raise them god brought this person to you you guide them because i think where the conflict is coming nowadays and especially because children are thinking that their freedom is cattle most of them they use the the most available the least opportunity they'll get to do these things that they think their parents will not do sometimes discuss with your children allow them to express themselves let them come and tell you if it's a girl let him come let her come and tell you mum i think i mean love with this child i'm not saying children to get into relationship early but i'm saying at that time when they met someone and they think there's something they're feeling allow them to come and talk about it if it is a boy mum i think i love this god then you guide them from there okay you show them this is the right age this is the right time and the right way to go about it and family at large i think if a child gets the support that they need in terms of someone they can speak to in terms of an environment that is friendly to grow i believe they become morally upright because it takes a lot of support don't allow someone if that child to go and pick behaviors in some mannerism from their peers because they'll get lost along the way let them pick from the immediate family so that they know i have a place where i can grow and i can share my thoughts without being pressed down okay if you feel a final contributor to this what is the role of the church the role of the church is a big role because the church is a cornerstone of society and the family is well and it is important for the church to put in more programs for the young people you know mentorship programs should conferences so that these young people can get guidance from from from the church and the bible is one of the most powerful tools that will give the right values you know to to to our young people and when we have these conferences and these events that the young people can be able to come and this youth comes whether young people can come and they can be in steels values they can greatly influence them as they go out into the society it will be great and i will urge the church leaders pastors elders to take up the responsibility and add more programs for the young people so that the society can be complete because when you put God at the center of everything even the family at the center of your integrity at the center of your value systems i will not go wrong okay i believe that for everyone who has watched us tonight and probably then for someone who is going to look at these later on they are going to learn very they have learned so much and thank you very much guys for finding the time i'm going to have you very soon to talk about depression in men because i believe it's a very big challenge yes so thank you very much for everyone who are tuning today for why two five four news updates my name is patricia muriuki do have yourselves a very good night thank you