 So, I'm gonna do something I hate, and it's being a YouTuber. What do I mean by that? I mean, make it a video with this kind of title, with this kind of energy, and it's something I'm heavily against. I think it's corny. I think it's very annoying, especially YouTubers that I follow that post nothing but videos like this. I think it's personally annoying. But I have to make a video like this because I'm not gonna lie, I've been on the edge lately. I can't escape things like this, no matter what I do. I could be like Mr. Beast and cure people's blindness as corny of a contrast that was, I could cure cancer itself. I could literally be Jesus Christ. I don't even believe in him. But I could be him, and I could cure everybody's disease, bring people back from the dead, save all the puppies, and there would still be criticism. There would still be hate. I would still deal with messages like this. But I guess because I'm beginning it a lot lately, I really need to address it, and people actually want me to address it, so I guess I will. All right, so if you don't know what I'm talking about, Hunter, Hunter, everyone believes I've seen it before. Have I seen it before? Quick answer. Yes, I have seen it before. Bits and pieces. I don't know how many times I have to say this. I think it's because my audience is constantly growing, so they don't see those videos. Hopefully they see this one. And I know I've said this before, but this is the last time I am addressing this. This is the last time I am doing a video like this unless somebody in my life dies and I have a needs event. I am never doing a video like this again. I am never addressing something like this again. I am telling it how it is right now. I am explaining everything. A few years back, I dated a girl for a few years that lived in Germany. Huge anime fan. I was never an anime guy. Y'all know this. For a year plus now, I've been reacting to anime, and I've never seen these animes. I've never even heard anime music. Maybe a few openings, but like Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Like of course I've heard all of this stuff. You know what I mean? Of course, of course. And this girl I dated had manga bookshelves. She had like that at myanimealist.com. She had like 500 plus animes logged into her account. She went to the conventions. She was a cosplayer. So we moved in with each other eventually. And guess what? She brought everything with her. Everything into that house. To the point where 95% of the hour, hour room was her room. So you see my background and my old videos, which you can't find anymore, unless you see them in exposed Nicholas-like TV videos. They're all over. And that's what I'm addressing today. You see my room in the back? You see a 100, 100 poster. You see a Full Metal Alchemist poster. And one poster was mine, which was like an Avatar Lesser Better poster. That's it. Everything else was hers. Even my YouTube account was hers. We shared a YouTube account. You go on makeup videos. You might see my comments under makeup videos. Do I use fucking makeup? I wish I did. Maybe I should because of my red face. You know what I mean? You would find my comment on those videos. You'd find my comments on 100, 100 reactions. She would always watch reaction channels in that room with me. Always. And I'd be editing my music reactions to like Taylor Swift or some other pop motherfucker. And she'd be watching anime, 100, 100. I'd glance over. I'd hear her name or two. So that's why I know her name, Leorio. I haven't heard that name since then. So I'm sorry if I didn't know how to say his name again. All right? I don't know how many times I have to explain this. And even when I do explain it, I'm gonna be ridiculed. I have people paying on my Patreon just to comment this stuff. Like I'm fine with death threats. Y'all can send me all the death threats you want. I love my life. I love it. So go ahead and tell me to kill myself. That's fine with me. I'm completely fine with that, okay? Maybe not in the past. Now I'm fine with that. But I can't escape every single post I make. Even if I just wanna talk about my girlfriend or just brag about how much I love her or how amazing she is. Or just talk about my life and just share my life with you guys. I always get comments. Nick, address this. Or you're a fake ass fucking reactor like this comment that I highlighted. I can't escape that. And I know my positivity on the channel, your positivity, the positive comments outweigh the negative by a lot. But it's impacted my life heavily to the point where I don't even wanna look at my comments. And it should have been like that. I wanna communicate with you guys. I wanna go on Twitter and talk to you guys. I wanna go on my Discord. That's why I haven't been on my Discord since I launched it. I'm afraid. I am fucking afraid to talk to people because I'm afraid to get a negative comment, to get criticism. And I've gotten criticism my whole life, but this isn't criticism, especially when I constantly mention or defend myself or give you reasons behind why things happened and stuff. It just, it never ends. You know what I mean? And I don't know what to do. I'm asking you guys, what should I do? I don't wanna take a break from YouTube. Should I take a break from social media? Or should I just fucking accept it? And just be more active and just ignore it. If I see it, whatever, I can't make everybody an ally, a friend. You know what I mean? I guess that goes with everything in life, but I'm just here being vulnerable with you guys because it's really hard for me to be that way with the world or just in general. I get to be myself with you guys. Other than you guys, I get to be myself with my girlfriend, but I like sharing my life with you guys besides her as well because I love you guys. You're my best friends. You make me so happy. I wouldn't even have met my girlfriend if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you. And it sucks that I let this negativity, even a small amount affect me and my mental. It really bothers me because in the end, I'm not a terrorist. I'm not killing anybody. I'm not spreading propaganda. I take time out of every day of mine, even when I'm on vacation, Valentine's Day. At any day, Christmas, even Christmas last year and Thanksgiving, I do a video in the morning just to give somebody out there an escape to just smile. And I'm genuine with you guys. Do I amp up my personality? Yeah, I'm a fucking YouTuber, man. I don't wanna be boring. I love being so energetic and adding humor into my videos. It's not a fake reaction. Fake would mean if I've seen it, then I'd agree with you guys, but I'm being myself times 100 or times 10, times 100 now. As my girl, she said I'm the same way as my channel. I don't think I am. I don't think I'm that crazy in real life, but it's YouTube, it's the game. I'm not gonna be like every other fucking reaction channel. You know what I mean? I like who I am. I love who I am. And I love making people smile and I don't see what's wrong with that. I make reaction videos. I don't think it's that serious. You have people writing essays. Essays. Exposing Nicholas Light TV as if I'm a fucking, I'm Onision or EDP. Like I'm a predator or something. I do nothing. Ask anybody in my life, the four people in my life for the past like decade. What do I do? I play video games, I listen to music, and now I just do videos. And I watch anime. I show my girlfriend anime and we travel. My life, who I am, it doesn't damage anybody. If I was lying to you guys, I'd understand, but I'm trying to keep it real. Every single day I push myself to be more honest, not only with you guys, but with myself. And I already admit it to y'all. Yeah, I am put my personality, but this is who I am. And my reaction videos does it straight too far away from who I am in real life. But as far as faking my reactions go, like I said, maybe like three years ago when I was doing BTS reactions, I faked a reaction or two because people would not let me criticize anything. So I acted like I liked something, but I didn't. And maybe I did that once or twice with anime where I said I'd liked something because it'd be easier for people not to hear that I don't like it. And I just didn't want to deal with the criticism. But other than that, I'm me. It's all I know how to be. It's what I've learned to be in these past five years on YouTube. I think it's been about five years or maybe four years. But before that, I didn't know who I was. I didn't know how to be me. Now I know how to be me. And I love this. I love this life. I love this job. It's not even a job, but just dealing with shit like this, it may seem like nothing to some people. Like, oh, I deal with real bullying. It's just, it's a lot. It's a lot on me, especially with someone as mental problems as it is. It's a lot on my mind and my heart. And it affects my life. It affects everything in my life. Like sometimes I just try to enjoy a day and I can't because I have this lingering. I can't post a video and look at the comments and engage with my community because of the comments I might see. The death threats, which I'm fine with, but still sometimes, you know, it's just too much. But I guess today was the last straw. I just wanted to address it. There's a video exposed to me on YouTube that I don't even want to watch because I don't know. It's not mean. They were just exposing me, whatever. They want their 5,000 views of fame, whatever. They think they've, they're Chris Hansen and they dug deep into my life. You know what I mean? But I hope I explained everything in this video. You know what I mean? And there's one comment I made in a video like a couple years ago, I think, where I mentioned Leorio from Hunter, Hunter and I say that I liked him or I didn't like him. I hope I explained that in this video, why I said that. I would glance over. I'd watch a few minutes every other day when she was watching the anime and I see these characters and I'm like, oh, I like him. He's funny because I see him doing something stupid. And then I turn back and I start playing Halo. You know what I mean? And then like next week I see her watching it and he's like an asshole or something or whatever. And then I don't like him. You know what I mean? It's crazy that small things, people could just grab that and throw it in your face and constantly throw that shit in your face. But it's something so small, something you forgot, something that didn't mean anything. But again, context. And that's what this world doesn't look into. On Twitter, on YouTube, on Reddit, on anywhere. And it fucking sucks. But I just wanted to vent to you guys. I'm sorry I had to make a video like this, but I wanted to address this once and for all. And I promise I'm never addressing this again. And if somebody, if people hound on me again to make a video like this, I'm just gonna tell them to fuck off because I am done. We need to talk. I'm done with videos like that. I just did that to grab your attention. It's clickbait. I admit it. It's fucking clickbait. It's gonna get views. It's gonna get views. Because everyone's gonna click on that. Oh, what's he talking about? You know what I mean? No, these other channels won't admit that shit. I'll admit it. It's clickbait. I want you to click on it. I want to get the views. I want you to hear what I have to say. So yeah, I always try to keep it blunt. I try to be myself, controversial or not. I say what I want to say. I do what I want to do. And yeah, I love you guys. And I'm sorry that I had to make this video. But yeah, whatever. Reactions, of course, continue tomorrow. I just don't know what to do about all this stuff. And I like your input, what I should do. But yeah, bye. I love you.