 Welcome to The Advocate, where thought-provoking topics are discussed with no holds bad here on Plus TV Africa. We basically call a spade by its name. Today, all the advocates are in one voice against bullying. Famous American actress Madeline Pesh said, �The people who are bullying you, they're insecure about who they are, and that's why they're bullying you. It never has to do with the person they're bullying. They desperately want to be loved and be accepted, and they go out of their way to make people feel unaccepted so that they're not alone. I am talking about the duty of care within the educational system. Helen focuses on the responsibilities of parents, schools and the government. Elijah is looking at correcting a failed system through the educational environment. Anita is asking if the child has any rights, and Tolu is calling for home training and social security of the children. Sit back, and after this break, we'll be here to dissect it all. Stay with us. Bullying and the duty of care within the education system. This past week has been one of tragedy upon tragedy in relation to the care of our children within the educational system. Two particular cases have summed up my fears about my own children and what could happen to them in school. First is the alleged murder of Sylvester O'Romany at during college. Who had been the victim of ongoing bullying until he was eventually brutalised resulting in his death? The second of a school which supposedly carries out inclusive education yet keeps its special needs students in a separate room, using actual physical restraints and electroshock treatment on them. These are just two cases and what we know must be many more. Having two children, one a boy who looks mixed race, has a gentle and kind spirit, as well as a daughter with Down syndrome. I worry about the possibility of them being bullied. At home I do my part to teach my son to stand up for himself and always to inform his teacher or grown up in school if any incident happens and most importantly to always tell me. That if anyone threatens him if he speaks up, that still he should immediately tell a member of staff at school and me as soon as he gets home. Even if they threaten him, his sister or myself with physical harm. For the daughter who has learning delays, it is harder to do. We play scenarios and teach her to shout, run and defend herself. But the comprehension for something like this just isn't there yet. So I do the work at home, but what happens at school? When we hand over our precious ones, the school is responsible for them at all times during those school hours. If something happens, there should be immediate protocols to follow. But who is monitoring and regulating the schools? Honestly, if private schools are left to regulate themselves as they currently are, there is very little hope of anything changing. If governments are not willing to regulate fees exploitation, something I believe is a lot easier to tackle, why would they regulate duty of care protocols? I especially worry for my special needs daughter because students with disabilities are two to three times more likely to be bullied and up to six times more likely to experience physical violence than their neurotypical peers. Children with learning disabilities are two and a half times more likely to suffer sexual abuse and sexually based violence than their peers without learning disabilities. In my eye, it is past time of talking. Now is the time to rally and go beyond the knee jerk emotions. We must push our elected officials and those in government to tighten existing laws and create better ones to tackle regulation as our children are not safe in schools. This is a human rights issue. It goes beyond posting on social media. We must petition state and federal legislature. We must make our physical presence known about this issue and we must make sure of regulation and enforcement of education institutions and those who work within them. We must act. And we must act now. Yeah, so I'll say two things. First thing is, you know, I think it's a good time to give a minute of silence for Sylvester. You know, because if you think about it, second is throughout history, there were people who have started a revolution. Think about Rosa Parks. I said no. Think about Martin Luther King, right? Think about George Floyd, okay? And I think Sylvester was just like George Floyd, you know. This issue didn't start today, didn't start last week. You know, but at some points, one person would say no. Unfortunately, Sylvester had to give his life for it. But I think this is a time that the revolution starts and it begins with me and you, you know. We shouldn't have to wait until someone dies, you know. But we must act now. Parents have to start being more responsible with their children. Schools have to put systems in place that make bullying unacceptable on any count. But my thing is that aren't there existing things in place? There are existing things in place, but it seems that there's a very kind of lax attitude. Yeah, they're not enforced. I mean, it's just like the government in Nigeria, right? There are laws against, you know, traffic, laws against tax. I mean, there are laws. But if it's not properly enforced until someone starts to have it, it's just the way we're designed as humans. Until there's punitive measures and there's actual enforcement and there's, you know, there's consequences for those actions. People don't take them seriously. Well, this issue of bullying didn't start now, just like you said. When our parents were in school, I'm sure they experienced it. It's always a common expectation that when you get into secondary school, they'll tell you, when you get there, your seniors will ask you to sweep their classroom or ask you to buy something and they won't give you money or they won't give you enough money and they demand more than what they give you. So they expect you to add your own money, all these things are... I remember when I was in secondary school, I might say, if I experienced one. I think I was, what class was I then? I think I was in JS3 and there was this particular guy in SS3 that asked me to do something and I told him I was going somewhere I was not too fine. The next thing I just saw, I got a slap on my face. I guess what I... I went home, I told my mom, my mom followed me to school and reported to one soldier and the moment the soldier asked for me because I went to a military school, this guy saw me later. I started apologizing, had to apologize to my mom. So I had to not tell my mom that, okay, she let him go since he has apologized. And ever since that time, he became my friend. The next time when he sees me, he just became my friend. But my point is, most people don't get lucky like myself, you know. Students, they pass through these things like an expectation, like a common mindset. We need to change... I can understand that. I can understand that there's a certain protocol, right? There's certain hazing or something that most school just the nature of the younger ones. If I call it what it used to be in my boarding school in England, it was called the faggot system. That's what it was called in our boarding school. It wasn't a sexual thing, but that's what it was called. So the younger boys would be the servant of the older boys. They would take their laundry, tidy up the room, make their beds, all that kind of stuff. So you are assigned your senior. And you literally had to serve that senior. But he's really proper, that's the question. It isn't. He's not proper. But it seems like a natural thing that happens. My issue is that it isn't Lord of the Flies, because they're not abandoned alone on some desert island. There are adults there. There are people who are in charge. And you cannot tell me that absolutely no one, no one knew what was going on or knows the environment that exists in that school. The problem is regarding that school is that it's a wealthy school. So the people who attend there have money. And that means that one, the school wants to make sure to be taking that money. And two, that they will adhere and bend to the will of those parents. But rather than what is right. Sorry, any good. Sorry, I'm firing today. No, I think, I mean, I understand what you're saying, but I'm also trying to be conscious of the fact that, yes, this one school may be the one that is in the spotlight today. But it's a crisis. It's a crisis. So is it just about the fact that the schools are like looking to take the money or even parents are complicit? Or even where do we draw the line? Because as we've all said from different experiences, I mean, anybody experienced some sort of seniority, like, you know, that kind of, and there's a right of passage, sort of, so to speak. But isn't it, because one of the things I kept on thinking was, when you said enough is enough. So what are we supposed to be doing next? What are we pushing for? What are we actually fighting for? What exactly is the next level for this kind of thing? Before I say what I think is next, let's hear from Helen. Helen, are you there? Yes. Well, unfortunately, I never experienced bullying. And that's maybe because I was the kind of a bully myself. But, you know, I went to a military school and whatever was a punishment was a punishment because one did something wrong. But the unfortunate thing we have here now is that it's not actually the seniors being the bullies. It's actually your mates bullying you. That's a whole new dimension. I can't imagine my classmates bullying me or beating me or whatever the case may be. So I think we really need to look at this thing critically and find out where is it actually coming from? Why are these children becoming mini monsters? What is responsible for this mini monster facade? And look at it deeper and not look at it from the point of, is the senior that is doing the bullying or the teacher doing the bullying? Let's look at it from the classmate point of view. What gives the classmate the audacity to bully his fellow colleague or fellow classmate to the extent that he has a right to commit murder? OK, so I think that kind of, I really like the angle that Helen has taken me from. I think that, at this point in time, with what Tonya has raised as her advocacy, the audacity is one of the things that I have seen when it comes to children. And I'm not a child expert. The only part I can talk about with this is that I'm a certified children's etiquette coach. I was interested when I was doing my certification. There was an area on bullying. And I found it interesting. I was like, why bullying? But then I know that things are coming out. I realize that issues around self-esteem, their pressure, what makes it. And then when you use the quote that said, oh, it's not about the victim, but the person who is bullying. So what gives another child the audacity to look at his pair or happy and say, I want to put you down? It's where, at that point in time, the duty of care within the education system where you have adults who are supposed to regulate how interaction goes on amongst children. And I think that is where the failure is happening in this particular case, as with this particular case. They even have the training to identify such things, a thorough training to identify such things. Because, literally, the schools are doing anything they want. That's a problem. You cannot leave the perpetrator to regulate themselves. And I think those parents actually have, I mean, you know what, I mean, peace conversations. So I think that, yes, I think it starts from the parents. Yes, but get into your portion. Get into your portion. Yeah, let's not let them do that. Let's not let them do that. Because we're going to start entering everybody else's elsewhere, that's where we can have a conversation. But I mean, you're talking about rules and rights. I mean, there are rules already in place in those schools. I mean, bullying is not, if it's not acceptable, it's not. If you have to put signs everywhere, if you have to hold weekly sessions to remind, I mean, children can be programmed. So intention matters. After the break, Helen is next. After the break, stay with us.