 Lux presents Hollywood. We've got this company, the makers of Lux Flakes bring you the Lux Radio Theatre, starring Dana Andrews, Edmund Gwynne, and Malah Powers in Mr. 880. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. William Healy. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure you're all aware of the tremendous task accomplished by our Treasury Department in protecting the public from counterfeit money. In tonight's play, Mr. 880, we will present a case that had one of the top agents of that department completely battled because the unknown counterfeiter made nothing but $1 bills, which he used only when he really needed money. Recreating his original role in this unique comedy is Edmund Gwynne, one of our most beloved character actors and co-starting as a new romantic team, Dana Andrews and Malah Powers. Mr. 880 was made into a screen success by 20th Century Fox, not only to amuse and entertain you, but also to give you some idea of the ingenious work done by the agents of our Treasury Department. Which reminds me, Lux Flakes are a treasure for the modern housewife. For new Lux is enriched with color freshener and can be depended upon to protect the delicate colors in your fine washables. You're assured of gentle, safe washing care with Lux Flakes. Now, Mr. 880, starring Dana Andrews as Steve Buchanan, Edmund Gwynne as Skipper and Malah Powers as Anne. The records of the United States Secret Service would indicate that it's almost impossible for a counterfeiter to stay in business very long without being caught, but the records also show that it has been done. The case is known as Number 880, the oldest unsolved counterfeiting case on file. The scene of Mr. 880's activities is New York, where for 10 unhappy years he's driven the Secret Service wild. Now and then, when patience runs out, they'll call in a troubleshooter from one of their other offices. This time it's Steve Buchanan. Steve has just reported to the agent in charge, Thad Mitchell. Well, Steve, any conclusions? Well, it's obvious, Mitch, that your Mr. 880 is strictly small time. In 10 years, he's averaged less than $50 a month. Oh, we don't say the man's been greedy. Of course, what makes it tough is the fact that all he makes are $1 bills. And we'll never educate the public to examine $1 bills. Here, look at this one. Did you ever see anything more amateurish? Common bond paper, ink you can buy in any stationary store. I can't stand much more, Steve. I'm going nuts. Holy smoke. Yes, yes, the way he spells George Washington's name. W-A-H-S-I-N-G-T-O-N. Well, this is practically insulting. In the 10 years we've been looking for this pest we've convicted, 1,385 counterfeiters, broken up some of the most vicious gangs that ever existed. Hey, take it easy. Well, I'm sorry, but that's what 880 does to you. Well, look, what makes you think I can crack this? I don't. Oh? The idea came from Washington. The chief thinks it needs a fresh mind. You mind if I recheck the list of people who got stuck with his dollar bills? I don't care what you do, Steve, but remember, I warned you. Very good service, huh? That's right, Mr. Gustav. I've just been checking with some of the people who've been victimized by counterfeit $1 bills. Now, in 1942, according to our records... That was nine years ago. You never caught that guy? Nope. What have you guys been doing all this time? Playing pinnacle? Look, the man we're looking for came into your cigar store here and he gave you a... Yeah, you bet he came in here. But I'll tell you one thing, brother. I'll never get hooked again. I'm an expert now. No? Whose picture is on the $10 bill? Well, that's easy. A predator of some kind. Now, let me see. I should know that one. Morning, Gus. Hiya, Skipper. Same thing, huh? Pipe tobacco? That's right, Gus. Thank you. Help yourself to matches. Thank you. Here's your change, Skipper. Take a look at this one, Gus. Cute, isn't it? What's it supposed to be? Hmm? Why, it's a spinning wheel. A miniature spinning wheel for a mantelpiece. Don't look practical, do me, Skipper. Not practical. Well, see you again, Gus. So long. I thought you said you examined all bills. Why, Skipper's an old friend of mine. Hey, maybe I'd better. Well? Here. You look. Relax. It's okay. Here, take this card. Anytime you get suspicious, pick up your phone and call us now. It's just me, Miss Winslow. I brought you something. Skipper? For your mantelpiece. A spinning wheel. Yeah. Oh, Skipper, it's beautiful. Oh, I knew. I knew I'd find one eventually, Miss Winslow. Why, it's perfect, Skipper. How much is it? Oh, $3. $3. It must be worth much more than that to say nothing of all the time you must have spent. Now, what else do I have to do with my time? Matter of fact, I'll be making a disgraceful profit. All it cost me was $2. Here's $5, Skipper. The price is $3, Miss Winslow. I won't hear of it. Oh, Skipper, it's sweet. Oh, golly, look at the time. I've got to get to work. Thanks again, Skipper. You're wonderful. Oh, $5. I can't take $5. I'll put the change in her purse. Of course, that's it. I'll just slip $2 into her purse. There we are. There. There's about time you got back. Oh, I'm sorry, Doc. I had to see Miss Winslow down on the first floor. Oh, I... I apologize for my room. What a collection of junk. Antiques, Doc. My hobby. Antiques. How can you live in a place like this? More flights of stairs. Nothing but an attic. Very comfortable, really, and the rent is most reasonable. Here, here. Look at my dog, Doc. He likes you. See? He hasn't barked once. That dog is why I'm here. You're still owe me $20. $20? I cured him of distemper, didn't I? Maybe you've forgotten it, but I haven't. Oh, bless my soul. Of course you did. Yes. Oh, now go away, please. Go away. Go on, go on. His name is, please. You know, I started out being polite to him, and now he's spoiled. He won't come unless you say, please. Doc, I'm afraid I don't have $20. Not at the moment, but here's five, Doc, on account. Why don't you sell some of this junk here and pay your debts? Oh, I couldn't do that. These things I've collected are like old friends. No, no, no. Don't you worry, Doc. You'll get paid all right. The last time it was some cock and bull story about getting it from a rich cousin. Oh, no. That's no cock and bull story. Would you see, Doc, I... I don't like to go to cousin Henry. Accepting an emergency? Well, this is an emergency. I'll give you one week, Skipper. I want that $20 one week from today. I ought to be ashamed of myself, please, oughtn't I? Keeping that poor man waiting all these months. Well, looks like we've got to go to cousin Henry after all. Cousin Henry. They think I've got a rich relative, please, called cousin Henry. We know better, don't we? Yeah, we know that cousin Henry's just a little old printing press. And he's always ready to help us out, isn't he? Isn't he? So, with cousin Henry's cooperation, we're going to make some money. Fifteen brand new $1 bills. Yeah, now then I'll get some paper and ink and before you know it... Well, Steve, it looks like Mr. 880 is giving you a royal welcome. Eleven phony $1 bills in the last four days. I don't think it's funny. Neither do I. Look at the map again. Two of the bills turned up here in Kingsbridge Heights. One more in Norwood. Any bills turned up from the subway McIntyre? Three, the last one about an hour ago. I still believe that 880 lives in that same neighborhood, downtown. Oh, Steve, I've been through this routine 6,000 times. You're a big help. Tell him, Mitch, save this boy some heartbreak. You know what he's planning to do? He wants to stalk the beast in his original layer downtown. That'd be foolish, I suppose. Oh, sure. Here's another one, Mr. Mitchell. Oh, my... From a taxi stand near Washington Square. The driver's out in the hall. He knows who gave it to him. Washington Square, huh? Well, it looks like the beast is still down there. What a break. Tell that cab driver I'll be right with him. Yes, sir. You busy, Mac? Okay, I'm coming. Let's take a ride with that cab driver. With your brains and my luck, this'll be a breeze. Okay, driver, now once again, at 9 o'clock this morning, you pull up to this address and a girl gets into your cab, right? Right. She phones for the cab. The name's Miss Winslow. Mac, check the names in the lobby. I've done it already. Anne Winslow, first floor. Where did you drive her? United Nations Building. Like I said, she works there. What makes you so sure? Because she tells me she's late for work. Okay, that's where you can take us then. United Nations Building. Big building, Steve. You know where we're going? According to her boss, somebody named Perry, Miss Winslow is an interpreter. She translates French into English. At the moment, she's at the end of this hall in a conference room. Interpreting? Right. How are we going to recognize her? They said it's a committee meeting, and she's the only female in attendance. There's a window and a door. All I want is one good look. This is it, huh? Yeah. You'd better look her over, too. That's Anne Winslow? That's Anne Winslow. Well, if that chick is Mr. 880, she must have started counterfeiting in grammar school. Who said she was 880? There's a pretty good chance, though, that she could lead us right to him. Hey, better phone Mitchell. Tell him what we've got. You'll also want to know what we're going to do about it. We either shadow the lady or cultivate her. Maybe both. Oh, you like that cultivating angle, don't you? In this case, I think I'm going to like it very much. While you're phoning, I'll find out what time this place closes. Then all we have to do is follow her. Well, we're not doing so good, are we? We're doing all right. I like the way she walks, don't you? Well, I could tell better if we got a little closer, she's half a block away. We'll see where we are. I think you missed your best bet in the subway. All we can do now is... She's stopping. She's looking in a shop window. Art supplies, it says. Paintings and prints. Here's where you go to work, Mac. Woke up to her, make a few passes. Start getting freshened. Oh, now look, I don't think she's the kind of a girl. Exactly. Then I come by, I tell you to let her alone. One thing leads to another, and I let you have it. Isn't that pretty corny? So it's corny, we don't have time for anything classy. Now, I'll slug you as easy as I can, Mac. Gee, thanks. Go on now, get going. Well, it was nice of you to invite me in here for a drink, Mr. Buchanan, but I... Well, I just assumed you wanted to get off the street as quickly as you could. Oh, yes, of course, but I... It attracted quite a crowd. And then when the police came... Look, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I was quite prepared to deal with the situation myself. I don't suppose I could have hit him as hard as you did. By the way, what's your name? Anne Winslow. Who are you? Anyone special? I mean, do you work at anything, or do you just... Oh, I'm a French interpreter. I work at the United Nations building, but I do most of my typing at home. Would you believe it? That was the first time a thing like that has happened to me since I've been in New York. You've never even been whistled at? Oh, it's not the same. A whistle's too, uh, impersonal. I see, what you mean. Oh, I've been whistled at all right. Matter of fact, I've done a little whistling of my own. Huh? In a quiet, lady-like way, of course. Now, what about you? Are you anyone special? Uh, is there someone out to make a fast buck? Oh, well, who isn't these days? Oh, I didn't mean that. A fast buck implies dishonesty, doesn't it? Yes. What's the matter? Why? Well, you were staring at me. Oh, I'm sorry. That's a habit I've picked up in New York. I stare at people. I keep thinking they look familiar. It comes from looking at too many unfamiliar faces. Well, you know, that's very interesting. Now, if you stop to analyze... I wish I had time to, Mr. Buchanan, but we did agree on, well, just one drink. Okay, we'll go. But, uh, when you were staring at me just now, do you know what I was hoping? What? That you, uh, whistling in a quiet, lady-like way, of course. Now I'm sure it's time to go. I just said I was hoping. Come on, I'll take you home. Mr. Perry. Oh, my goodness, I forgot all about you. I just got home a minute ago. Mrs. Winslow, I know. I've been waiting out in the street. Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Perry. Forget it. Well, everything's in this envelope. I'm afraid you've got a lot of typing here. Oh, I'll have it done by morning, Mr. Perry. And I'm so sorry. This friend of mine... I mean, I was late getting home because, well, we just happened to bump into each other. He's, uh, persistent, isn't he? Persistent? Yes. He does a lot of bumping in the course of a day. He, uh, he does? This afternoon at the office, he almost knocked me down. He did? Mr. Buchanan? Well, yes. This afternoon, when you left the office to go home... Well? He made a beeline after you. The corridor was pretty crowded, and he darn near knocked me down. But, apparently, he caught up with you. Good night, Mrs. Winslow. Good night, Mr. Perry. I don't get it. Good morning. May I help you? I hate to trouble you, but do you remember me? I was standing in front of your shop window yesterday afternoon when a man... I should say, I do remember. Well, I was just curious to know what happened to that man. I mean, when the police... Why, they didn't even arrest him. Seems he was with the Treasury Department. Treasury Department? Yes, Secret Service Agent. He showed his credentials and they let him go. And talk about apologies. Thank you. Thank you very much. Mr. Perry, may I bother you for a minute, Mr. Perry? Uh, come in, Anne. And thanks for that typing you did last night. Mr. Perry, when I applied for this job, wasn't I thoroughly checked? Of course you were. Why? Can you think of any reason why the United States Secret Service would be after me? Well, the two chief functions of the Secret Service are to guard the President and catch counterfeiters. I'm safe in assuming you're not the President. Can I be suspected of being a counterfeiter? Oh, now, Anne, Anne. Chances are a counterfeit bill fell into your hands. You passed it on to somebody who reported you. It happened once to a friend of mine. They watched him a few days and suddenly dropped him. You'll probably have the same experience. Thank you. He's a very attractive man. I don't think I'd like to be dropped so suddenly. And besides... Well? He, uh, he asked me to have dinner with him tonight. I told him I would. Well, if he gives you any trouble, just tell him to see me. Hmm, he doesn't know what trouble is, Mr. Perry. Just wait till he takes me to dinner tonight. Now here's our producer, Mr. William Keely. Act II of Mr. 880, starring Dana Andrews as Steve, Edmund Gwynne as Skipper, and Mala Powers as Anne. Yes, Mr. 880 has whipped up another homemade batch of dollar bills to the utter torment and dismay of the United States Secret Service. But Steve Buchanan at last has a lead in the shapely person of Anne Winslow. Steve has invited Anne out for dinner, unaware, of course, that Anne knows who he is. Well, I hope you like it here, Anne. I ought to. It's a terribly expensive place, isn't it? Well, what's money for? I mean, why make it if you can't spend it? Steve, would you mind handing me my purse? Well, it's certainly bulging, isn't it? What do you carry in this thing? My compact. I have a distinct feeling that my nose is shining. Your nose is fine. As a matter of fact, it's just about as nice a nose as I've... Well, what's the matter? Your purse. What about it? How much money do you carry around? That's not real, is it? Well, what do you think it is? A boodle of queer? Oh, is there any more wine? A boodle of queer? And believe me, it's mine. I'm not trying to shove the stuff. All right. How did you find out who I am? Find out about you? A boodle of queer. The word boodle hasn't been used since the Civil War. Really? Now, I wonder how I came to use it. I can tell you, you found it in that book you took out of the library this morning. As for your money, it came out of your savings account also this morning. You made a big show of looking guilty. Why? Well, it seems so silly that you'd suspect me of counterfeiting. I thought I'd give you ample cause. You're not very good at it, but you're much better at dancing. Nothing like finding out, is there? Come on. Counterfeiter named Mr. 880. You asked me, I think Mr. 880 is making fools out of you. Nobody asked you, and he is. But the fact remains that you passed two of those ridiculous dollar bills. Now, where did you get them? Well, let me see. Think back over the past week. Where did you go? Who gave you the dollar bills and change? Oh, Steve, it's no use. I can't remember. Honestly. Will you keep trying? Of course. I'll be around every night and give you a memory test. Mmm, sounds like fun. I mean, I'll try to remember, Steve. I really will. I gave what Mac and I have been through. Steve, you're no closer to 880 than the day you walked in here. Now, what about the girl? She's under constant surveillance. Let's look. For ten years, 880 has followed a definite pattern. Your records prove that. And for almost two weeks, you followed that pattern. He prints his dollar bills and proceeds to pass them out. But never in just one section of the city. Oh, a couple here and a couple there. Now we know this site tenorary by the order in which those phony bills are reported to us. Yes. Downtown, Burrow Park, Flatbush, Bay Ridge and Bensonhurst, like he had a papal route. Well, you covered those sections, didn't you? All right, he's made a sucker out of me. Fine. Now what about Coney Island? What do you mean what about Coney Island? According to your records, he goes there once a year. He goes to these other places once a month. Once a year to Coney Island on practically the same Sunday and the same month. Oh, what Steve means, he's due out at Coney Island this Sunday, along with a few hundred thousand other people. I've played long shots in my time, but... Okay, if anybody around here's got a sure thing, I'll forget about Coney Island. We never had a sure thing on 80 and we never will. Then you've got a date for Sunday, Mac. Goodie-goody. You need me tonight? No, as a matter of fact, I've got a date tonight. Anne Winslow. Oh, break the date. Forget business for a change. Who said it was business? Oh. What you can do after I feed you is help me with the dishes. I'll get this pan of hands, but here goes. Do you feel any better, Steve? You certainly were in a mood when you came in here. I'm sorry. Poor Mr. 880. What about me? He's doomed. Oh, he's escaped your clutches so far, but I have a distinct feeling you'll never give up. A bootle of queer. By the way, what are you doing on Sunday? Skipper has to take a flock of kids to the zoo. Skipper? I told you about him. Skipper Miller. That nice old man upstairs. The spinning wheel on my mantle. Oh, so sure. Well, every year on the Sunday nearest his birthday, he rounds up the kids in the neighborhood and takes them somewhere. I promise to help. The zoo, huh? Oh, that's so bad. I have to go to Coney Island. 880 again? Yeah, 880 again. I thought maybe you'd say do you think Skipper would pass up the zoo if we took him all out to Coney Island? Steve, he'd love it. I'm sure he wouldn't. So would the kids. Look, you finish the dishes and I'll see if I can find him. I thought we were going to the movie. We are. I'll be back in five minutes. It's a splendid idea, Ms. Winslow. Splendid. Are you sure we're not imposing on Mr. Buchanan? I told you, Skipper. It was his own idea. Well, you know, I usually take him to Coney Island. I thought the zoo might be a change. You know, between us two, Ms. Winslow, I... I like Coney Island much better. Good. I'll tell him. But nice Mr. Buchanan. I can't wait to meet him. Oh, he wants to meet you too, Skipper. Does he now? I wonder why. Right, Mitchell. Go ahead and say it. I told you so. Well, I'm still not quitting. Who said a word? I just gathered that Coney Island yesterday was a bust. Complete. Not a sign of 880. Maybe I'll have better luck today out at Bay Ridge. Now, before you have a nervous breakdown, I'll tell you once again that any time you want to drop 880, it's perfectly all right with me. Drop and why? Well, I don't want to see you make a career of it. After all, there are more important cases to work. Well, yesterday was a bust. There's an irate citizen in my office from Coney Island, Steve Look. He brought in a souvenir. Mack, that's an 880. Yes, and furthermore, he can give us a perfect description of the passer. Yeah, he still want me to drop him, Mitch? Bring in that irate... Got away in concession out of Coney, see? I guess you wait, see? If I guess wrong, you get a beautiful Cupid doll. Okay. I break for a sandwich. See, cause I'm hungry. I'm eating the sandwich and counting up the take. And here's this bonus bolognese given to the yacht. Quick as a flash, I know who it is. He's a wise guy, see? And that's him. That's the Dady Crook right there. Me? I gave you a counterfeit dollar bill? Oh, you like this guy. He's with a tomato, see? He says to hunt... Okay, okay, fine. That's all we want to know. If this is the crook who gave you that pony dollar bill, he's already under arrest. Thanks for coming in. He's a very dangerous character. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Throw the book at him, but throw the book at him. Well, this is one for the book, so you're Mr. 880. Yeah, some joke, but 880 was there, Mitch. Maybe he was right under my nose. All right, I missed him, but he was there, right on schedule. And according to your research, his next stop should be Bay Ridge. Let's get moving. And if we don't get him in Bay Ridge, we'll get him in Bensonhurst. Mac, where are those cards you had printed? Right here. Warning, counterfeit one dollar bill. How do I identify? Well, we'll have one of those cards on every cash register from Bay Ridge to Canarsie. Sure, sure. And I'll eat every one of them if 880 doesn't show up. Let's get going, Mac. Hello there, Grandpa. I haven't seen you in this awful week. Yeah, I've been a long time. I don't get to Bay Ridge very often. Mr. Schmidt's been asking for you. Oh, I've just been talking to him. It isn't often that I find someone I can talk German with. No. Well, better pay for my root beer. Get along. That'll be 10 cents, Pa. Well, here you are. Oh, almost forgot. I think I'll buy one of those German newspapers. Oh, I'll get it for you. Oh, no, no, no. And do you stay where you are? You've been checking all those dollar bills, Mary? Oh, yes, sure, Mr. Hankel. I've got that card that those men left is right here on my... Hey, Mr. Hankel, look. Who gave you that dollar bill? Him, at the newspaper stand by the door. Hey, mister, that dollar bill you just... He's gone! He's gone! Well, let me see that bill again. Are you sure this is... Mr. Hankel, just look at the way Washington is bowed. Look, that's the card of police! Card of German! Hurry! Hurry! Hello, Skipper. Hmm? Oh, Mr. Buchanan. How nice seeing you again. Calling on Miss Winslow, huh? Well, I have hopes of finding her at home. Did you recover from Coney Island? Oh, it was a wonderful day, Mr. Buchanan. Wonderful! I've never seen the kids happier. Well, this must be your dog I've heard so much about. Please and I take a walk every evening, rain or shine. Well, remember me to Miss Winslow, won't you? Yes, you will. A lovely girl, Mr. Buchanan. A kind girl. Well, come on, please. Come on, buddy. Come on. I thought we could decide that at dinner. Okay? Okay. Still no news on Mr. 880? Or am I asking embarrassing questions? He was in Bay Rids this afternoon. But you didn't find him? No, but we know a lot more than we did. His age and that he speaks German. Oh. We even got a description. Really? Only the description's worthless. There must be 10,000 old men floating around who'd fit it. I still can't get away from the idea that he lives in this neighborhood. The chances are, that's how you got those two bills that time. Don't you ever relax. Ann, what about that old fella who runs the stationery store around the corner? Mr. Kimmel? You'd suspect anybody, wouldn't you? Well, he's got a German accent and that's... There's a home for the aged around the block. It's full of old men with German accent. I've already been there. Oh, you weren't. I could very easily learn to dislike you. Meanwhile, shall we go? Ann, it's not that I'm suspecting everybody. Oh, good evening, Mrs. Winslow. Hello, Skipper. Have a nice walk? Yeah, fine night for walking. Come on, please. Come on, up the stairs. Say, Skipper. Up we go. Yes, Mr. Buchanan? Spreckensee Deutsch, my dear. Take your fun. Steve. Just a shot in the dark. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I am. Now, don't you go to sleep, please. We're going to have to take another walk. Yes, we're going to that vacant store down the block. And in the backyard, we're going to dig a home. You see, please, cousin Henry has to go. They almost caught me this afternoon in Bay Ridge. And now, Mr. Buchanan, now why? Why would he want to speak German to me? Hmm? So? We'll bury the printing press and the plates, and no one will ever use them again. No. Come on, old man. Come on, dog. Come on, then. You'll stand guard and I'll bury poor cousin Henry. Yes. Yes. Come in, Steve. Come in. Sit down. Max had the chief just called from Washington. Yes. Among other things, he wanted to know about you. Well? Steve, the chief wants you to go to France. Yep. There's a popular demand for the American dollar in Europe right now, and some outfit in Paris is trying to satisfy it. It's big stuff, Steve. And after all, we haven't had one of Mr. 880's dollar bills for weeks now. Well, 880's a counterfeit, Amit. He's breaking the law. If we can't stop him, we may as well close shop. Well, I just thought you might be interested. Well, I am. I hate to admit it, but I am. Look, can I think it over for a day or so? Sure, sure. Take it down. All right, thanks, Mitch. I'll give you an answer tomorrow. Hello? Of course, come over. Is anything wrong, Steve? Well, if you won't tell me, I guess I'll have to wait. Fine, Steve. I'll be waiting. I'm sorry, Mrs. Wagner. Now, what were you about to tell me? It's about Skipper, Ann. There's something wrong. Skipper? Well, I'm not the nosy neighbor. You know that. But I've been suspicious for days. So this afternoon, when he took his dog out, I went up to his room. Suspicious? Of what? Remember all that stuff he used to have up there? Furniture, bric-a-brack statues, vases. Like a regular antique shop. I mean, they weren't worth anything. Oh, but he loves those things. Well, they're gone. Almost every day I've seen him carry something else away. But why? It's obvious. He's had to sell them. Oh, no. Never really earned enough to live on. But he used to get money from some rich cousin until he passed away. I didn't know. Didn't he leave him anything? Ah, I guess not. I'll never forget how brave Skipper was in his grief. All he said was, I had to bury my cousin Henry. Mrs. Wagner, we've got to do something for him. Oh, he's too proud to take charity. Then we've got to find him a job. Right away, Mrs. Wagner, we've got to find that poor man a job. So if you don't mind, Steve, I thought that instead of going out, we could have a bite right here. I don't. This is fine. So you're all working for that Skipper again. But I haven't told you the best part. I saw the manager of this apartment house. He has two more on the block. And he's going to give Skipper a job. Sort of a handyman. He'll get his rent free and $70 a month. Isn't that wonderful, Steve? Well, Anne, really swell. Now, what about your big news? Well, I think I'm going to France. Steve! Yeah, a big assignment. International stuff. Oh, how exciting. But what about Mr. 880? I'm giving him back to the Indians. Anne, do you think there's a chance that, well, that you could wangle a trip over? After all, you're working for the government too. Well, I don't know. I could try. We'd be in Paris together. Who's going to work on 880? I don't know. I don't care. Make them send you, Anne. Put on that old charm. I'll take you around to places you've never even heard of, respectable ones, of course. Oh, I've only been to the other kind. And you'd better start brushing me up on my French. I think I'll fly. That is, unless we can go together. In that case, we'll find the slowest boat there. Steve, are you sure you gave 880 back to the Indians? You know, someone once said that a task left undone creates a void that no amount of achievement can fill. Who's the ambassador that dreamed that one up? I am. And if you really want to know... Me, Miss Winslow. Skipper. Skipper, come on in. It's just this, Miss Winslow. Look, I found something for you. Skipper, another spinning wheel. Hello, Skipper. Oh, I'm interrupting something, aren't I? But Miss Winslow told me if I could ever find another spinning wheel I'd match the one on the mantis. Skipper, you're a darling. Well, it's my last transaction in antiques. On Monday I start a new career. Well, have you heard about that? The news traveled so fast I thought it was a presidential appointment. Now, how much do I owe you? Nothing. Not a cent. Skipper, how much? Oh, well, $3 then, same as last. Let's go into the other room, Skipper. I left my purse in there. And stop telling me it was $3. The other one was $5. Now here, you take this $5 bill. Oh, well, that's funny. I was sure I had $2 someplace. Stop searching your pockets. I insist on paying the same price. Well, you will as soon as I find your change. Ah, here we are. One, two. There. Now, my new job calls for a celebration. I'm going out to get some things. A bottle of wine, maybe. Hey. Oh, knock on your door as soon as I get back. Skipper. Yes, Miss Winslow? Are you sure it was $3? That other spinning wheel? Well, of course I'm sure. You didn't see me do it, but I put the $2 change in your purse. Anne. Yes, Steve? What did Skipper want? Nothing. Nothing much. Steve, if 880 were caught, what would the penalty be? Oh, up to 15 years. Why? 15 years? If I ever lay a hand on that old crook, that's just what he will get. All that close call he had in Bay Ridge get him off for a while. But he'll step out again. They never know when to... Anne. Those aren't tears. Oh, Steve. Steve, if... Maybe I'd better answer that. Maybe you'd better. Hello? Oh, hello, Mitch. What? Well, that's just a couple of blocks from here. Well, sure will, right away. Well, I knew he couldn't hold on. They just caught someone passing an 880 in a grocery store. They're taking him over to the police station. Steve! I'll phone you as soon as I can, honey. This is it, Anne. I know what it is. Act 3 of Mr. 880 will continue in a moment. The curtain rises on Act 3 of Mr. 880, starting Dana Andrews as Steve, Edmund Gwen as Skipper, and Malah Powers as Anne. Suddenly, the case of Mr. 880 has broken wide open, and Steve Buchanan has dashed down to the police station. But instead of an old man with a German accent, in custody are three rather small boys. What is this, Sergeant? When my office phoned, they told me you had someone... You saw the evidence in the detective bureau, didn't you? I never saw so many $40 bills in my life. Enough to fill a bushel basket. Plus one small print and press and two engravers plates. You want to talk to the kids? You're darn right I want to talk to them. Well, you can forget about two of them. Why? Like this, Mr. Buchanan, the littlest one, Melvin, he gets the print and press from the middle-sized one. That's Johnny. He wins it from him on the Royal Series. That puts Melvin in the clear, right? I'm listening. Okay, the middle-sized one, he gets it from a punk named Mickey. He lets Mickey join his mob, and Mickey gives him the hot print and press. Mickey's the kid that found it to begin with. Well, put Mickey in a prowl car. I want him to point out the exact spot where he found that stuff. I'll wait for you outside. Give him. Now, you found the press yesterday. Is that right, Mickey? The printing press and two engravers plates. Yeah, I put some ink on it, and I tried it out, see. I figure it's stage money, so I start making deals. I sure made a lot of deals. Okay, punk, now where? There it is, that empty store. Only it's behind the store in the backyard. All right, let's get out. We're playing a game, see, and I'm hiding from the rest of the fellas. I run them back of the store and hide behind them old boxes and stuff. Then this dog comes along and starts scraping the dirt. Right next to me. Dog? You a dog? Not mine, brother. Anyways, pretty soon I see something. So I start helping the dog and out comes the printing press. What kind of a dog, was it? One of them shaggy ones. I think he belongs to some old geezer down the street. Here's the hole, see, right here. Take him to the car, Sergeant. See that he gets home, will you? You staying here, Mr. Buchanan? No. As an old man I'm going to see down the street a poor, stupid old beggar. I don't get it. You don't have to. Oh, and let those other kids go too. That's the day of the parents. Right. Steve. Oh, Steve, I'm so glad you came back. It's Skipper, isn't it? Where is he? Up in his room. He's waiting for us to celebrate his new job. Oh, Steve, he's an old man. He can't survive a long jail term. He's a counter-fitter, and no matter what you or I think of him, he robbed people. He reached into their pockets and robbed them. All right, Steve. We may as well go up. Yes, and I want to thank you again, Mr. Buchanan, for accepting my invitation. Now, if you'll get the glasses, Miss Winslow, I'll open up the wine. Yes, Skipper. Oh, I had a lot of trouble to get the wine I wanted. I said to the man, I said, when I asked for Liebfrau Milch, I said, I want Liebfrau Milch, I said. Oh, then maybe you'd better open the bottle, Mr. Buchanan. I'll put the cheese on the plate. If I can find the plate. Now, now, now, just be patient, please. You know, he loves cheese. All dogs love cheese. Yes, Mr. Buchanan. I'm with the United States Secret Service. I hope you're acquainted with Liebfrau Milch, Mr. Buchanan. It's a lovely wine. Oh, and to be just right, it should be... Skipper, have you been passing counterfeit $1 bills? Oh, yes, yes, indeed, for quite some time now, yeah. Here, here, here, here, here, just wait. Just wait till you taste this. Now, here, here we go. Here we go, Mr. Buchanan. Down the hatch, eh? Oh. Oh. Yes, in all the world, there's nothing like Liebfrau Milch. You'll have to come down to the office with me, Skipper. Oh, yes, yes, of course. They'll probably want to ask me a lot of questions. I'm really leaving anytime now, only... Oh, only my dog. Don't suppose they'll let me take, please? I'll take care of you, Skipper. Oh, yes. Ah, thank you. Thank you. And in case I'm... I'm detained, he likes ground meat, at least once a day. You'll need a lawyer, Skipper. I know a very good one. Mr. Liebfrau Milch. No, no, no, no need of that. No. I suppose there is a lot of detail to a thing like this, Mr. Buchanan? Considerable, Skipper. Well, I hope it won't take too long. I wouldn't like to spoil your evening with Miss Winslow. Now, now, now, please, behave yourself. Behave yourself. Now, you... You stay with Miss Winslow and behave yourself. See now? Now, now, go on, now, be a good dog. Be a good dog. That's amazing, good boy. All right, all right, all right. Now, I suppose we all quiet down and get the rest of his statement. They've been asking me a lot of questions, Mr. Mitchell. You may be able to think of some, too. Did it ever occur to you that this was like stealing, that every person who accepted a counterfeit bill from you suffered a loss? Did you get that, Miss McGulligar? What? I was afraid he was talking too fast for your short end. What? Yes, Mr. Mitchell. Yes, I'm a little aware of what I was doing. But I never gave anyone more than one bill. Oh, no, I made sure about that. You planned it that way? Oh, indeed I did, yes. Well, then I'd always buy something from them. They'd make a profit on that, so the loss wasn't too great, you know? Oh, no, no, less than a dollar. I'm sure, never did mind it. I understand you were in the Navy for many years. No, machinist, first class. Well, then you were eligible to enter a veteran's home. Instead of committing your crime against the government, why didn't you apply for a veteran's home? I thought about that, goodness, no. But cost the government $82.70 a month for each veteran in a home. But I didn't need over 40 or 50. Yeah, I saved the government a lot of money, Mr. Mitchell. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars. He's all yours, Steve. Take him down to the commissioners for arraignment. Now, and I want to thank all of you. You've been very kind, patient. Thank you. Then it's no use, Mr. Lee. No use at all. And I'm a lawyer, I've had a lot of clients, but believe me, nobody like this one. He insists on pleading guilty. Tell me, do you know anything about Judge O'Neill? Yes, and you may as well be prepared. Well, I will depend on the Secret Service on how hard they push it. Your friend, you can go to help. I could, but he's gone to Washington. Then I won't see you in court, Mr. Lee. Oh, I may drop around, but it won't do any good. Ten o'clock in the morning. Right, Federal Court Judge O'Neill. Good luck, Ann. Conclusion, Your Honor. May I remind the court that this case and this defendant has cost the United States Secret Service more time and money than any other case in its entire history? That's all, Your Honor. And I would suggest that the defendant pay a little more attention to what's going on in the courtroom. Oh, I'm sorry, Your Honor. I was just asking Miss Winslow about my dog. Mr. Miller, before I impose sentence, I'll give you one more opportunity to get counsel. Your Honor, may I approach the bench? Is that you, Mr. Lee? Yes, Your Honor. Although the defendant insists he doesn't want me, I would like to submit certain facts. Mr. Miller, why do you feel you have no need for counsel? Well, it seemed to me, sir, he was going to a great deal of trouble for nothing. Well, aren't you disturbed that you may have to go to jail? Jail? Never been there, Judge. Probably not a very nice people there. With the court's permission, I'd like to continue. Perhaps you'd better get his permission. Oh, no, no, no, no. Let him go ahead, Judge. He's got it on his chest. Let him get it off. You have his permission, Mr. Lee. Your Honor, I respectfully call the court's attention to the fact that the defendant is an old man, 73 years of age. Mr. Lee, I have always dealt severely with counterfeiters as a matter of public policy. I see no reason to forget that policy because of his age. Well then, may I suggest that that intent should be considered? The circumstances under which he began his counterfeiting. Mr. Miller is a junk dealer. Now, it's quite... Antique dealer, Your Honor. Anyway, it's quite possible that among the things he picked up was this printing press. So he decided to experiment just as the little boy did who found it buried in the ground. Oh, but that's wrong, Your Honor. I bought that printing press. Yes. This and those plates. I engraved them myself. Yeah, it took me quite some time. It's not easy, you know? No, no, no. No, I'm... I'm sorry, Mr. Lee, but I'm afraid the facts contradict you. Thank you, Your Honor. That's all I have to say. Now, where's this secret service agent who made this arrest? Mr. Buchanan, isn't it? Down here, Your Honor. Well, any recommendations? I've never had any sympathy for counterfeiters, Your Honor. I agree with the court. Counterfeiters should be dealt with as severely as possible. Thank you, Mr. Buchanan. But if the court pleased, there is something I would like to add. Yes. What the defendant did wasn't because of greed or because he wanted to get rich quick. He printed just a few bills at a time, only when he needed money badly, and then not always for himself. You arrested this man. Are you now pleading for him? I realize it's unusual, Your Honor, but the defendant is an unusual man. Your Honor, I was absent when Mr. Miller was indicted because I went to Washington. I went there to check his record to see if he had ever engaged in any other criminal activity. I'm happy to say I couldn't find a thing. I think we have quite enough evidence against Mr. Miller as it is. But I did run across something which you may want to consider. The defendant spent a good part of his life in the United States Navy. In 1918, when he was 41 years of age, he received a declaration for bravery. I have a full aesthetic copy of the citation in case you're interested. You seem to have gone to a great deal of trouble for this man. Why? Well, that's hard to say, Your Honor. Maybe it was because I had read something in a book I just happened to pick up the other day. Justice rules without regard for the feelings of the human mind or the charity in the human heart. A book you happen to pick up? Yes, Your Honor. I am the author of that book. Yes, Your Honor. And I still believe that counterfeiters must be sent to jail. However, in view of the defendant's extreme age and the other considerations, the other sentence will be kept at a minimum nine months. Thank you, Your Honor. Yes, sir. Thank you. Thank you, indeed. Your Honor, may I approach the bench? Mr. Mitchell, isn't it? Well, Mr. Mitchell? Thank you, Steve. And Mr. Lee, I hope you don't think I was rude. You're still in court, Mr. Miller. You'd better keep your hat off. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yes, indeed. I should like quiet, please. I have been reminded that a sentence of nine months does not provide for parole. It has been requested that sentences be changed to a year and a day so the defendant could get off in four months. The sentence is so chained. Oh, thank you, Your Honor. Thank you. Skipper, Skipper, just four months. It's not like going to Florida for the winter, isn't it? Oh, for heaven's sake. I have also been reminded that the sentence must be accompanied by a fine. We will make this nominal, too. Mr. Miller, I find you one dollar. Well, I believe I have a dollar bill. Right here. Right here with me, Your Honor. Yes, sir. A brand new... Oops, not that one. Skipper, maybe you'd better let me pay. Oh, I wouldn't hear of it. I do have another one somewhere. Ah, here we are, judge here, yes. Mr. Buchanan, you'd better look it over. Is as good as gold, Your Honor. That's right, Mr. Miller. Oh, goodbye, Skipper. Four months isn't long. Thank you, Steve. Thank you. Skipper, would you mind terribly if I kissed you? My goodness. Well, after that, I don't feel a day more than seventy-two. No. Yeah. You saved the rest of your kisses for him, my dear. Thanks, Skipper. I think you've got something there. We hope you enjoyed the night's play. In just a moment, Mr. Keely will tell you about next week's play and bring back our stars for a curtain call. But first, I'd like to remind you that something wonderful has happened to your favorite luxe. You owe it to your wardrobe to try new luxe with color freshener. Hollywood Screen Stars say it's the finest beauty treatment for fragile white things for prints, for all colors they've ever seen. Why not take a tip from the girls who have the most glamorous clothes? Use luxe not only for stockings and your Sunday best. Use it for everything you care about. Nightgowns, pajamas, house coats, washable dresses and blouses, too. Colors stay so ravaging you'll never want to use anything else. Now at last, whites stay truly sparkling white. Colors keep their bright new beauty. Prints look brilliantly sharp every time you luxe them. No soap, no suds of any kind is safer for your washable silks, rayons, nylons and nice cottons. Get a big box of new luxe with color freshener tomorrow and discover for yourself how easy it is to give your washables that freshest new luxe look. Now here's Mr. Keely with our stars. And we welcome them back to the footlights for an extra curtain call. Dana Andrews, Edmund Gwynne and Malaparte. Well, we were certainly lucky to find you three in town this week. Yes, you were, Bill. Because just about every available star on Starlet is making a tour for movie time, USA. Malo and I just did get back in time for the show. I was in New York City with the tour and Malo went all the way to Jacksonville, Florida. Isn't it a wonderful idea for all those actors and actresses to go all over the United States? So that the people can see them as well as their pictures. Yes, Teddy, and we're proud that nine out of every ten actresses who went on the tour were Luxe Girls. That's right, Mr. Keely. And believe me, we also saw to it that we had plenty of Lux Flakes. Lux Flakes certainly come in handy on personal appearance tours, don't they? Yes, Mr. Keely. Luxe and a good personal appearance always go together. Teddy, how is it you didn't go on one of the tours? Well, I'm only just out of hospital. And besides, someone had to be here tonight to tell you about some good pictures you'll soon be seeing. For instance, the Desert Fox, made of course at 20th Century Fox. James Mason stars as General Rummel. Yes, we're certainly looking forward to that one, Teddy, because it tells the story of the man as well as the famous general. And I'd like to mention that Samuel Goldwyn has a very fine picture soon to be released called I Want You. Starring Dorothy McGuire, Farley Granger, Peggy Dow and Dana Andrews. That's right. We think I Want You is a great love story and very timely. Now, who has time for romance these days when Uncle Sam wanted the boys back again? Well, if Uncle Sam wants me again, I'm ready. Ready for what Teddy? Ready to recruit waves, wax, stars, lady marines. And what have you recruited for next week's show, Mr. Keely? A very charming love story that will take us all back a few years to reminisce about those romantic high school days. It's the 20th Century Fox screen success, Margie. And as our stars, Jean Crane in her original role, co-starring with you, Marlo. We look forward to that one, Bill. Good night. Good night. It was a wonderful evening. Don't you admire the lovely screen star, Teresa Wright? She has one of the loveliest complexions in Hollywood. Teresa says, I'm a luxe girl. Luxe soap facials leave my skin softer and smoother. So why don't you try this famous complexion care? It's so easy, but it really works. Just cream the rich luxe active ladder well into your skin, rinse with warm water, splash with cold. Then pat dry with a soft towel. You'll be delighted with the way your skin takes on fresh new beauty. Looks really luxe lovely. Get Hollywood's own beauty soap, fragrant white luxe toilet soap tomorrow. Discover why 9 out of 10 screen stars are luxe girls. Lever Brothers Company, the makers of Luxe Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday evening. When the Luxe Radio Theater presents Jean Crane and Hugh Marlowe in Margie. This is William Keely saying good night to you from Hollywood. Malah Powers appeared through the courtesy of the RKO Radio Studios, whose current release is the Howard Hughes presentation and Technicolor of the Flying Leathernecks, starring John Wayne and Robert Ryan. Our play was adapted by SH Barnett and our music was directed by Rudy Schrager. This is your announcer John Milton Kennedy reminding you to join us again next Monday night to hear Margie starring Jean Crane and Hugh Marlowe. This is the CBS Radio Network.