 Hey, what's up? I just thought I'd tell you about my tour. It's going all across the continental US, a little bit of Canada as well. When is it? Wouldn't you like to know? I'm starting to go on the road next month. Yep, starting in March of 2022. That's so soon. Tickets are on sale now, and I have to do this dot show. You wouldn't want to miss it. VIP is almost sold out everywhere, and there are so many shows that are selling out fast. If you don't act now, you might miss your chance. So what's it going to be? Am I going to see you at the show? Or are you going to blow it? Ha, ha, ha! What is up, my cranky crew? Tether for Crank Gameplays, today we are here in Elden Ring. I am so goddamn excited for this game. Big, big thank you to Bandai Namco for sending me a key for the game early. Big thanks to them. You will be seeing this on the day that I am allowed to post this because of embargoes. I'm currently starting this out, so just to preface everything real quick. I only recently sort of started falling in love with Souls-type games. Just a few days ago, I beat Bloodborne for the first time ever. I loved Bloodborne, and I'm already replaying it, and I'm having so much fun. And now we are here with Elden Ring. So I am playing on PC. The code of the game was for PC. I'm going to make as many videos as I want. I'm not going to do a full-on series of it, so if you're wanting a full playthrough or anything, I'm not the channel to go to for that. I'm going to make as many videos as I want. This first video will be my first impressions in the very start of the game, so if you don't want any spoilers or anything like that, then maybe this is not for you. But any of the others will just be, sort of just me playing the game from wherever I'm at in the story. So, again, I am playing on PC. I'm using a controller though, because honestly, I think most of the game, I feel like I might be playing on PS5 because I already pre-ordered it on PS5. Here we go! Ho-ho-ho! We have, let's go through all these. I don't have any plans for the build that I'm going to do at all, so we have Vagabond, we have Warrior, Hero, Bandit, Astrologer, Prophet, Samurai, Prisoner, Confessor, and Wretch. Let's show the stats. So I think I'm just going to go for kind of, I think I'm going to do a Confessor. Name! Ah, here we go! That's the one. Steep-Boo-Shammy. Keepsake. Oh, a Medallion inlaid with increases HP. We're going to have the Crimson Amber Medallion. That looks sick. This is so cool. That hair's dope. This is Steep-Boo-Shammy. I forgot that I named it Steep-Boo-Shammy. I'm very excited to play it in my own time too. I have a cinema room, and that's where the PS5 is, and so I'm very excited to just play it in there. God, it's so pretty. I can't wait to get into it. Cross the familiar to be found. Do we have to find her? Do we have to find Queen America? These illustrations are so beautiful. I'm so excited to see all the bosses and creatures and everything. Rise now, you tarnished. You dead who yet live on lost grace speaks to us all. It's time to rise up, gamers! Are those some of the bosses that I'm gonna have to beat? Or are those just characters? Here we go. Swit again. Yeah, baby. Let's go! The Elden Lord. Let's go, dude. Time to become the Elden Lord. Ah, the ring. I spawn with a weapon. Hell yeah. Shump attack in short, no head ahead. OK. Oh, I can jump? Hell yeah. Wisen finger. There's my shield. There's big attack. I don't have Urgent Heal Assassin's Approach. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Also, I have, I'm probably gonna miss like a ton since I've been playing Bloodborne. I have only played Bloodborne. I haven't played the Dark Souls games at all. I played a smidge of Dark Souls 3, like a tiny bit. Oh boy. Damn, it's so pretty. Let's get ready. Let's go! Front flip into the fog. Maybe I wasn't supposed to do that. Retrieve lost runes. OK, so the runes. Cool, cool, cool. Ah, what is here? Time for jumping. But is it time for jumping? I'm going to say it's probably not time for jumping, considering that I just did that and I died. So yeah, here we go. The door is blocked shut. Great. Also, again, I think it's very important to note because, well, when this comes out, I guess most people will have not played this because I am releasing it when the game releases. But it is important to remember that I am playing this for the very, oh, there's fucking stairs here, that I'm playing this for the very first time. You know? So if you're like, oh, you need to do this, you idiot. Yeah, I'll figure it out, dude. Playing this for the very first time. I love that I can jump. It's great. Time for sacrifice. Then visions of cave. What do we have here? Perry? Oh! Hey! Grafted scion, what's up? How are you? Holy shit. OK, here we go. OK, here we go. Oh, shit! OK, how do I heal? I don't even know how to heal. Wait, I don't have any. She got me so good, though, dude. She already got me so good. Well, there I go. Wait, oh, it's cutscene. What is happening? Am I underwater? What is going on? Steve? Steve Buscemi? Where did I get my ass blasted to? I'm going to listen to water. God, we get to ride on a horse thing in this game. Is this just a horse? Oh, it's like a mix. It's like a horse water buffalo. Is on her side is sure to seek the Elden Ring. What's the golden order? Who are you? Wake up, Steve. It's time to go to school. So you just left me down here? Do I even have any of my shit? Flask of crimson tears. Flask of cerulean tears. What are those? With the inventory menu, you can browse. OK, what is this? It's a consumable. Oh, OK. Sick. This. Wait, what was that other thing? What is this? Memory of grace. Lose all runes. Return to the last site of lost grave visited. OK. OK. Cool. Who are you? Oh, you're an actual ghost. Grave tarnish, take the plunge. This plunge of learning and remembrance. Recall the arts of war and your warrior's blood. Anything I can do with this tree? Oh, a little bit of lag there. Damn, it is so nice to play something, one at 4K and two at higher frame rates. Because playing Bloodborne recently, it's only at 30 FPS. And only 1080. 1080 part doesn't really matter as much, but touch grace. It's like lanterns. Lost grace discovered. Shit, yeah. Hell yeah. What remains? Use tarnish furrowed finger to write an old, to write a gold summon sign. Cooperative multiple. Oh, OK, cool. Shit. Great. Xammon. Use a stone sword. Sure. Oh, I don't have one. Here's a bunch of fog, which, in my mind, traversing through said fog will lead me to possible death. I just want to explore over here super quick to see if there's a way. It is so dark over here. Should I take the plunge? Was he speaking literally? I said take the plunge. I'll do it. Cave of knowledge lies below. All right, well, I'll take the plunge then. Guess I'm taking the plunge, oof, using items. I feel like I shouldn't have done that. First thing on the side of grace, great. I also just, I don't know why. I don't know why I used that. What are these called again? Flask of Crimson Tears. Crimson and Cerulean. Oh, nice. Look at that. Do I not get to see? Oh, OK. You can memorize sorceries and incantations at sites of grace. You must have a staff equipped to cast, or a sacred seal equipped to cast incantations. OK. Not really relevant to me. Hit me. Can I visceral? Are I just parrying? Oh, it's pretty out here. Hey, you're not very good at that, are you? Acquire materials. In every corner of the lance between, you will find fruits and flowers, mushrooms and butterflies, and various other useful materials. These materials can be used for item crafting. Oh, OK, cool. Each hand can be equipped with up to three armaments, allowing you to toggle between them. Use two-handed, switch to the right hand, switch to the left hand. Hell yeah, baby. Get shit on. What is this? I don't know what that did, but cool. I'll find out, I suppose. Oh, yeah, that jumping attack, baby. That jumping attack. Who's standing over these caves, huh? Who's standing? Hey, buddy. Goodbye, sir. Goodbye. Thank you so much for your sacrifice to my video. Special abilities called skills. Skills are highly varied and range from powerful attacks. Using skills, OK. Crowds are making it harder for your enemies here, OK. Bye, sir. See you later, sir. Thank you. I wish I could do flips, guys. Ooh, critical hit. OK, here we go. Time to slice and dice you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. See if I can get behind this guy without him noticing. Some attacks by breaking enemy stance. Hold RT, charge attack. RT, hold jumping. Oh, baby, that jump attack was nice. I like that. And then we got that attack. Nice. Upon dying, you will be revived at the last site of grace that you visited. However, if there's a stake of Marika near where you died, you can choose to be revived there instead. OK, interesting. Oh, traverse the mist. All right, here we go. Potential first boss fight? Yep, yep, yep, yep. Guard counters. You can perform a counterattack immediately after blocking enemy. There we go, baby. Bye-bye. Bye-bye, bitch. Easy. Easy. Easy. Or at least bloodstains. Oh, let's heal up. Might as well. All right, what do you think so far, gamers? I mean, obviously, this is just the very beginning. Very, very beginning. Village remains. Strength. Let's go up through here. Let's rest here, get our health back and everything. OK, cool. Are we about to die? I don't do that. I probably should have stood on it. I thought that it might kill me. I thought that I'm maybe that I was about to die. OK, let's bring this back down. OK, let's ride to the tip top of the cavern. Top of the tower, baby. Oh, I wonder if this is going to bring me back up to a big guy that we saw before. No good luck ahead. Cool. Great. Different place. Limgrave. Oh, it's so pretty. Hey, are you OK or are you dead? Use your map to check your. Did that person disappear there? So you can update your map with new information by finding map fragments. OK. Hi. Oh, you're to the lands between for the Elden Ring. Of course you have. No shame in it. Unfortunately for you, however, you are maidenless. Yes. Without guidance, without the strength of runes, and without an invitation to the round table hold. How cool I look. You are fated. It seems to die in obscurity. OK, well, maybe I'll get a cool invite, though. Grace exists to guide the tarnished and lead them alongside the proper path. Even now, some sites of grace retain that power. Their golden rays will guide you along your way. Nice. Cool. Cool, dude. What's this? Summoning pools. In each area, you may find effigies of martyrs. These effigies are summoning pools. You'll find it easy to summon other players at these locations. Cool. OK. Where is that big dude on a horse? I feel like he's maybe going to try and kill me. But if I am in the woods, then maybe he cannot. He looks large and in charge. And probably someone that maybe I shouldn't try and take on. But I'm going to do it anyway. Move. That was big. That was big time. Big time bazoengas. Big time bazoengas. Hey, sir. The tree sentinel? He's strong. Upon dying, you'll be revived to the last sub-crace that you visit. You'll drop any rooms in your possession at the site of your death. If you die again before reclaiming those ruins, they'll be lost forever. Oh, they show you where it is. That's kind of cool. I feel as though I am not strong enough to take him on. But we do need to go that way, don't we? Whoa. Hi. I'm so sorry. But I just I'm trying to learn. Thin beast bones. OK, interesting. That's so cool. We can like hunt. What's this? Fragment. Ruin fragment. Guys, please don't get mad at me for killing a sheep. I'm learning the game. Learning what it's about. All right. Who that up there? We'll sit here. Is there like a merchant in here? The Church of Ella. Is that Santa? Who is that? Hold on. Who are you? Is Santa close? First off, target lock. Then offer rump. Oi. Yeah. I can also see that you're not after my throat. No. Then why not purchase a little something? Oh. I like goods. OK. Well, what things do we have? How much? How many runes do I have? I have no idea. Probably like two. Nice. We can buy things at some point when we have money. Well, well, um. You can spare the rooms. You should buy yourself a crafting kit. Oh. A crafting kit allows you to make basic items on your own. Essential, really. If you intend to survive out here for any duration. OK. Costs a bundle. And I admit, I do take my cut. But the important thing is that you survive. OK. Smithing table. Oh. Smithing stone. That's cool. I don't have enough runes to do anything, but that's cool. OK. Thank you. Thank you so much. All right. Let's continue. Who's that out there? I see them. Oh, I see them. Also, I see materials. Oh, is that a fox? What is that? I got a message on Discord. Come here, Mr. Come here, and dead. I should have clicked the other button. Whoops. Look at all these things I can get. I love how there's just, like, animals running around, hanging out. There's a little deer right there. What the hell? Thank you. You. I'm not even going to. Bye-bye. Ooh. Soldier gauntlets. That might be useful. You didn't have anything, did you? Is that the deer or is that a person? Oh, that's a person. Thank you. Did you not hear any of that? Sir, you're not very good at your job. OK. Let's, if I dole in the attire, throw it at me to inflict damage. That's cool. What's the difference between leave selected? Oh, you can select multiple things. This is a lot better. But this looks so much cooler. I'm keeping my shit. I'll buy cool stuff at some point. What is that? Who are you? Do I kill it? Teardrop scarabs. They're both crimson, cerulean, teardrop scarabs. Defeat them to replenish the facts that mask their type. Cannot replenish more fast than your mask. That's really cool. OK. Sick. OK. Damn. This is so open, so much more open than I thought it was going to be, honestly. Don't want to go down there. What are those down there? Are those birds? Those big eagles? OK. There's another dude down here. I could probably beat that guy on the horse. He's probably not the big boy. If I'm very good at this. Oh, yeah. Nope. I'm dead. I'm going. I'm dead. I'm dead. I think that I could beat him, though. Maybe if I'm better. Don't turn around, horsey. Don't turn around, horsey. Don't turn around, horsey. Don't turn around, horsey. Move. And I'm dead again. All right. Maybe I can't take these horsey guys on. All right, yeah. I think these guys are probably more my speed. You know? Headed. You hit a lot harder than I thought you would. Whoa, there's wolves. Oh. Oh, OK. I thought that was another horse. He's walking around. OK, I should probably try and do this a little stealthy, if I can. Can the doggie sniff me out? I hope not. Did you see me? He did for a second. Playing this a little bit stealthy, all right? Just playing it safe for the beginning of the game. We don't know what's going on yet. Just playing it a little safe. Hey, doggie. Nice. I'm so sorry that I had to kill you. I am so sorry. I really actually didn't want to. I was hoping that maybe I could befriend you. Well, why didn't you jab him there? Oh, no. This is a really, really, really bad place to be. I need to heal. I got backed into a corner. That was so bad. Jesus. I'm going to die again. Do enemies respawn? If I go over here, we're about to find out. We're about to find out. Yep, they do. OK, well. Why did this happen? You're the girl with the horsewater buffalo. Greetings. Hey. Traveler from beyond the fog and melanin. Do you have any hot dogs here? Hamburger's is very pretty. Whoa, what happened to your eye? I offer you an accord. A Honda Accord? I have a little bit. I've come across a couple of them. You serve the two fingers, offering guidance and aid to the tarnished. All right. But you, I am afraid, are maidenless. Yeah, some dude said that about me before. Are those dragons? I take the role of to aid you in your search for the Elton Ring. That'd be cool. I'd like that. You need only take me with you to the foot of the Erd Tree. The Erd Tree? Then it settled. OK. Summon me by grace to turn runes into strength. OK. Another matter. I bequeath to you this ring. The Elton Ring? The game just ends. Spectral Steed Whistle. Use it to traverse great distances. It will summon a spectral steed named Torrent. That's the horse? Torrent has chosen you. That's the horse buffalo. Treat him with respect. I will. I obviously will. Level up, dude. Shall I turn your runes to strength? Yeah, see, I don't think I have very many. For but a moment. Share them with me. Yeah, I can't do anything. Your ambitions. Yeah, I can't do anything. I don't have enough. But it's very nice of you. Thanks. Use the spectral steed whistle to summon your ride. To summon and ride your spectral steed. If your spectral steed dies, you can summon it again. But it will cost one flask of curbs and tears to do so. Dismount by using the whistle again. Sick. From pouch in the main manual, you can equip six items to your pouches. It's a goal, bad guys. Should I even try and fight it? It looks cool, you know? It looks cool. And even though it's probably a really bad idea, I want to try and kill it. Oh, big vampire boy. Oh, god, there's two of them. Oh, god. Oh, OK. OK, no, no, no. I can take you on. I can fuck. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Hold on. Come back, pussy. Come back. Fuck. Yeah, yeah. Come here. Come here. Oh, you use your supersonic? Not very chill. Ow, ow, ow. No, I don't want to jump down. Thank you. All right, last one. Bye-bye. Vanquishing an enemy group will replenish your flasks. I love that. What? That's really cool. You didn't have anything on you, huh? What's up with the golden or the glowing head, though? You know? Oh, a boar. Ooh, I'm going to get you. Yeah. God, there's so much stuff happening. Is that the moon? No, that's a tree. I'm so sorry. 12 seconds later. I got around here as hard as dudes ago. There's nothing super crazy. It's touched the grace. Thank you. Let's rest for a moment. I still can't do that. Yeah, still can't do that. Storm bait. Are you on each other's teams, or? Uh-huh. Yeah, if I can't beat the dude on the horse, I don't know about this one. He's seen me before? Nope. Nope. You've got to leave. You've got to leave. You should leave. You should just leave. Yeah, you should just leave. All right. Let's rest here. Fuck, I'm a pussy. I'm such a pussy. I still don't have enough to level up. How the hell? Oh, wait. Is there a thing? Did I get a thing? Here's the big question. Do we? I'm going to get destroyed by this game, dude. I am going to get absolutely destroyed by this game. Any amount of feeling, anything at all. Just run. Just run. Sure, just run. Just run. It'll be fine if you just run forever and ever. You take so little damage, so fucking little damage. What am I supposed to do? There is absolutely no way that I can get through there. I guess I go somewhere else. You know, for a land so terrifying, it is very pretty. 1,200 horse guys over here. I hearing another one. What? Hi. What the fuck? What is happening? Is it going to try and kill me? Is Mother Nature also trying to kill me? What's going on? Sheepies, what's going on? I'm hearing another big bullet. I feel like I'm going to get struck by lightning and die. I feel like that is a very possible thing that will happen to me. Whoa, I killed an eagle. Oh, there is a dude up there. Oh, there's a guy down here. He's coming to me. Come here, baby. Come and get some, baby. Fuck. He got some. He got some. He got some. He got some. Fuck. Oh, no. Oh, no. That actually worked out kind of fine. Fuck. These big sword got. Fuck. What is happening? Jesus. What? I'm still alive? What is happening? My control is not working. Great. I'm not doing swell. I'm not doing swell at all. Come here. Get me, baby. That's horrible. That, what? What? Come on, dude. How many guys do I have on me? Oh, great. I didn't know he had a horn that he would blow like that. You kidding me? You're going to use your big horn? Oh, that does heal me. Those guys suck. And I don't like them. They suck and I don't like them. And that's really all there is to it. All right, I'm going to go this way. Maybe this way will be better for me. Because right now, wait. I want horsey. Double jump, horsey can double jump. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Look at me. Oh, wait, don't die. Why does he look like he's from World War II? He wants mercy. Well, that's not how it goes around here. Hey, you. Oh, you don't even have anything. This is just kind of cruel now. Hey, boys. OK, fuck. Once again, there's so many wolves. There's so many wolves. Oh, I feel like I'm going into a pad place. There's so many of them. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I want to befriend the wolves. The wolves seem cool. There's bears. I didn't realize that I was going into a place with bears. Fucking aid, there's danger at every corner. OK, I think we're relatively safe. God. I got gold. Oh, I got gold tinge. Oh, it's excrement. So I got shit that has some gold in it. Homing instinct paint. Is this bear poop? Why does all the bear poop have gold in it? Gosh, should I fight a bear? Do I have enough? No. Of course I don't. It's going to take me 40 years to level up at all. But at the very least, you know what I will do? You know what I will do? And what I think maybe I can do is maybe I can kill a bear. I don't know how strong bears are. And considering I have a really tough time with one dude with a shield, it may not be a good idea. What are you, big dragonfly? You get back here, Ronan. This instinct, my. This fucking instinct. All right, I don't care about you. I care about the bear. Hey, big man, come here. You want to tussle? Let's tussle. How much damage will I? Oh, there's two bears. There's two bears. There's two bears. There's two bears. I only signed up for one bear. And I shouldn't even signed up for that. Fuck. I'm done. God damn it, there's two bears. OK, well, hold on. I think I can do it, though. As long as there's not two bears, I think I can do it. Is that a rock or is that a bear sleeping? There's a turtle? How many animals do they have? The fucking Matt Damon in this game, we bought a zoo? Is the turtle hard to beat? Oh, this feels really upsetting. This feels wrong. Those things are annoying. Oh, he's in his shell. This is so sad. Why am I killing this turtle? I feel like it'll give me something good. I'm so sorry. Oh, that is. It didn't even. Oh, it gave me some white flesh. Still kind of sad. Come here. Hey, Baronstein, challenging you. Challenging you. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm almost there. Kill it. You're so tall, dude. Mighty beast, the bear. Are you not going to give me anything? I didn't even get runes for that. I didn't get anything for that. What? Why didn't I get anything? What? I got nothing for killing the bear? The helpless turtle gave me at least meat. I didn't get anything from the bear. I kill a bear, and it gives me 19 runes, or those the runes that it dropped. No, that's the runes from when I got killed by it. Is that a rock or is it a bear? It's a bear. Oh, my god. Didn't even have time to stand up. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Still, why doesn't the bear give you anything? Runes at all. This gives you like no runes, dude. I need some. I need some runes. If I'm going to level up, I'm going to need runes, because that's the way the game is played. But hold on. I know what I'm about to do may seem dangerous. But danger is more middle nine. Really? Look at this. This is going to end very poorly. All right, guys. I'm going to end this first episode here. Let me know what you think of Elton Ring so far. I know that I'm not very good at it, but I just loaded up the game for the very first time. I got to learn it. I got to figure it out. It took me since the launch of Bloodborne. I just beat Bloodborne like three days ago, and I've had that game since launch. So hopefully this takes me less amount of time. Again, I'm not going to do a whole series on this. I might make a couple of videos and then stream it and stuff. But I think I'll probably play this game mostly in my free time. But anyway, let me know what you thought, and I will see you guys later. So thank you guys so much for watching. Hope you enjoyed it. If you did, make sure to slap that like button right in the face. And I will see you guys in the next video. Love you all. Stay cranky. Bye.