 I'm Anthony dream Johnson your host and today with me on the show I have Steve the Dean Williams from the man mindset comm and DDJ from miss Andrew today on YouTube gentlemen welcome to the show Hey, I don't Hey, we're pretty good man. So boys. Hey, yeah, we were to stock behind the scenes. Fuck yeah It's my son. This is my weekend church hanging out with the boys on the show. Okay. Nice So today's topic guys is surviving and thriving from calm or through conflict in life as a man And particularly as a red pill man the things you're gonna go through in life with women with family with friends with work All kinds of shit like that. There's actually a topic suggested by DDJ and I'm glad he picked it Yeah, cool. The chat's working. We're still in the new software to you by the way guys for figuring out like how this all works and stuff It's a professional show Yeah, exactly with hats professional show with hats and paintings DDJ though you want to open up on this topic and he had some kind of outline for it Yeah, I mean, I think that one of the things that a lot of men have to deal with in life is dealing with Conflict and adversity when it comes to, you know, life situations and life circumstances Because the thing is is I mean, you know, when when life events happen We have to be able to manage and we have to be able to deal with that particular type of conflict you know when it comes up whether it's a Natural disaster whether it's a conflict at your job whether it's a conflict with your family Whether it's a conflict in your social circle, you know There's there's a variety of different types of conflict that we have to deal with as men And I think that's there's something important about this that needs to be said as well as sort of a precursor and that is That when we deal with conflict we have to be honest about what that conflict really is Not only do we have to be honest with the people that we're dealing with we have to actually be honest with ourselves and and sometimes that honesty That that truth it's uncomfortable. That's like when we talk about, you know Red pill wisdom and things like that and we use the the the matrix analogy What we're talking about is we're talking about the uncomfortable truth Because sometimes what ends up happening is when we deal with that uncomfortable truth we can Resolve it in a more permanent way because what what happens is when people don't handle the conflict in a forthright manner And they don't deal with it head-on what happens is that conflict will rear its ugly head up down the road Because everybody's been passive aggressive about it So sometimes you just have to you have to nip it in the bud and you have to move forward and say look You got to handle conflict and in many people when conflict comes to your doorstep Especially if it's professional conflict or social conflict what ends up happening is is it people will Wrongfully accuse you of creating drama because you're holding the drama creators accountable now I'm not I'm not going in any specific direction here beyond saying that if you can't handle The drama that is the consequence of whatever conflict is going on in your life and you and you just have to stick Your head in a sand and run away from it. That's not what a masculine male does The masculine male Handles the situations that come for them. We don't always get it to choose What cards we get dealt but we can choose how we play those cards And we can choose how we approach the situation and in this case Your attitude is most important. So I think that the big challenge is is that a lot of people They're we live in it. We live in a land where you tend to use it like a Pinocchio sort of reference we live in a land of toys and many men today are More like lost boys because they don't have that multi-generational male mentorship and so one of the things that happens is is that Without that multi-generational mentorship. It is a lot more difficult to navigate conflict on Your own or through an echo chamber and so, you know having guys around us Well, it's based on that so Clarify what you're saying, you know conflict resolution was it's primarily taught by men not women We've also obviously been lacking after generations in a row particularly millennials and Gen X or Gen Zs now Like we're the first generations, you know, where we've been raised on multiple waves of feminism like that And I can speak to that mountain life. I've had to learn conflict resolution myself growing up I was not taught this I had very negative examples of this by my father and I did not have uncles or grandfathers in my life That taught me this so it's been very self-taught Which works but it comes with a price and that price is difficulty and hardship Learning shit the hard way rather than the easy way because someone that went through the hard way fucking taught you and you had The humility to listen under the skill that lost boys. I think I'm not taught. Is that kind of where you're going with that? Yeah, that's exactly where I'm going because I think that what happens in life is especially as a father You realize that your job as a parent is not done when your child turns 18 Because you know as your child goes through those things in life, you know those those different circumstances, whether it be Marriage, you know first-time father those types of scenarios They're gonna come to you for advice and when you and divorce to you divorce is absolutely divorce Well, and again, this is about it's about Well, and again, I say this from a man going his own way perspective But it's about choosing the woman who was willing to invest in you and it is about You know the choices that you make because what ends up happening is is that a lot of these guys Myself included with my first marriage You get married for the wrong reasons. Yeah, you know and and and that's that's a problem and that's a problem still with many men today and I think that the people who Whose marriage is survive. It's a question of mutual investment. It's not a question of You know, I need to be more alpha or I need to take more responsibility or you know I need to be responsible for everything that she's done wrong Because again, when you're dealing with a marriage or a long-term partnership like that It's just as much of a business decision as it is a personal decision So I think that when it comes to those types of things, I think that it's important when we talk about managing conflict Managing that interpersonal relationship is extremely important as well. And that's why I think it's important to really talk about because the other side of it is Men are emotional creatures. Just like women are we have feelings You know, we we have emotions. We have things that offend us. We have things that that make us happy We have things that make us appreciative just like everybody else does But a lot of people in our community across the manager We don't talk about those things in any sort of meaningful way Well, how dare you be a three-dimensional creature with feelings dj. You're supposed to be a masculine robot that just pumps out work and seed or something like that Yeah for the women the work works and the work horse in the end the boy, uh Yeah Hey, let's um, let's go back a second I heard you say, you know earlier in this conversation a few minutes ago Let's get Steven on this you mentioned self honesty And I think the average manager do when he hears that uh, but you know based on my experience being in it for so many years It sounds like an obvious like yeah, be honest with yourself and that's going to help your life and improve it Whether it's a conflict managing conflict or anything else But let's kind of explore that more because I don't think I don't think that's anywhere near as easy as men As it sounds at first glance And I think there's really my experience of my life now. I'm going to be 31. It's been that there's layers to that Layers and layers and layers the older you get and the wiser you get of how honest can you be with yourself? And how diggy how deep are you going to dig on that issue? Steve do you want to happen on that? It's uh, it's not easy being honest because you've got to look at where these young men came from or most of them Some guys have come from a two-parent home and some most come from a single-parent home And just because you have dad in your house doesn't mean that dad is running things You probably come from a place where dad is sleeping on the couch Happy life. Happy wife. Don't make mom mad You see him give his spine and his balls to his mom and you just don't understand But when it comes to the the honest truth a lot of these unfortunate a lot of these young men It's all starts in the home before they even get out into the world. They're being um coddled and blinded by the truth So when you're coddled and blinded by the truth, how can you be honest about things? When she's Uploading you to be Emotional She's uh because when you are getting those emotions now again I always say every man should every man has emotions But women are emotional. That's that's a difference in my opinion. We are like if the cowboys miss a field goal I have emotions about that But women are emotional to me and what happens is women upload emotional things in men And what happens is is that with that For better or worse, they don't I can go both ways Well, yeah, yeah And they don't and they don't teach their sons also what boundaries are They don't and these boys are are learning don't know coping skills They're being smothered and all this other stuff and they're being taught that the world is sunshine and rainbows And everybody's out for your best benefit and you can go Out into the serengeti and play with the the zebras and the elks and all that other stuff Just another but a bunch of lives for these young boys So then when they walk into the real world, they can't handle How the world is how the world just doesn't give a fuck about you type attitude. They can't cope with that So what they do is they go it seem like they go into their shell And it's a defense mechanism to say okay. Well I I'm not good. I'm not good enough. So what I need to do is I need to create something that I think That either she or somebody is going to like me better by Putting on this false facetto putting on this mask Being something what I think the world wants me to be Instead of saying this is who I am Accept me for who I am and move forward and I think that's what's happening with a lot of young men out there. They just they You know, we had a situation last night Anthony on the show where a guy saying, you know what you need to go ahead and start an act Act like you're tough Act like you're a man type thing You know, you don't act, you know, the game is either on you or in you And if you have it on you that's the problem I really like that. Hang on. Let's go to fuck on you or in you. That's that's Yeah, the game is on you in you. What I mean is when it's y'all y'all need to get your crayons out write that shit down I'm serious. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, I mean when it's on you That means that you're doing things and looking to things outside of yourself To try to please and get somebody to do this or like you will be attracted to you When it is in you then that means you're standing on certain principles You're not worrying about what the next man thinks Or anything like that. So and I thought I don't want to be long-winded But I just wanted to say that I think this is where the problem is coming in that a lot of these boys And then like like dj was saying See when you it's not challenging them It's just when you say something is wrong. It's like you're going against mommy, you know what I mean It's like When when you say, okay, look look, you know what you need to be more honest Well, hold on. What do you mean be more on it? Mommy told me I don't have to be honest Mommy told me I don't have to do this and mom told her and then it's like they try to defend a position You can't defend the truth the truth will always be the truth and the truth will always come out But a lot of these young men just don't understand that they feel like I I rather be somebody else And and act like people don't recognize that than being who I am So I want to kind of kind of hit on the uh the self-honesty thing Um I've always surprised being honest and I think it's a good value. I think it's part of being honorable is honesty Uh, there's times to not be honest when you're dealing with an enemy and things like that But I think for the majority of life is a man that honesty and work and life and among men is extremely important It's extremely important for your own mental health because it focuses you on reality Honesty truth reality facts these things are all intrinsically linked in my opinion But I've noticed that no matter how much of value honesty To be more and more honest with myself to be self-honest takes perspective experience and time So I thought I was honest with myself that you know 21 22 back like the early pickup days before I found the right co-community before I found I got more involved even more involved the man is fair above and beyond what it was at that point So it's been interesting that the older I get it. It's not it's not always clear, right? It's not like, you know two months goes by and I'm like, oh man I'm fucking, you know three and a half percent of honesty myself But I've noticed that every couple years that goes by I accumulate so many kind of reference points in my life and experiences Conflicts and then conflict resolution accomplishments, you know failures or kinds of things And as I get older I'm able to be more honest to myself and especially to not only in the moment You know you become more powerful more masculine, but even looking back on your own history And it's like where did I fuck up and where was I not honest with myself In a way that I wasn't even aware of and that's kind of what I wanted to really dig in that honesty thing That's what came to mind when DDJ brought it up is it being honest with yourself is a as an evolved processor over time And it really does take maturity and wisdom and life experience Trauma and then healing from that trauma sometimes to accumulate that and to To see it in yourself to see past the blind spot I think it's one of the big points with self-honesty that we don't hear enough about Is when you have a blind spot by definition, you're fucking blind to it You don't see it like DDJ talks about like a red pill blind spot That's uh, I think an agulis or an agulis. I don't fucking say that To what i'm getting out here, you know, the red pill blind spot is you know Looking at leaders in the atmosphere and not putting a red pill lens on them Or anywhere else in life, too That you're a fan of the particular community doesn't matter if it's the atmosphere You trust someone is because they have values that you share, but it doesn't always work like that Well, and let me let me kind of dovetail on that self honesty a little bit and let's create you know build on that But I also want to talk about you know self-trust but also verification So, you know, one of the things that people have to deal with I've had a lot of adversity in my life I've had two divorces. I had two separate custody fights I've had a variety of issues come up, you know before that and after that And one of the things about self-honesty is is that it requires you to look at yourself Through a very objective lens and sometimes the way that you can see yourself the best is to Look at the viewpoint of those who don't like you or don't want to be a part of your life Because sometimes your enemies or the people who don't like you they tell you the truth about a situation and and you have an opportunity there You can either use that as an opportunity to improve or you can use that as an opportunity to shove your head up your ass And live in denial, right? So you have to be able to objectively assess that situation And and the reason that that comes with time and age is because you have to have a level of humility You can't assess your current situation without a level of humility And you also have to assess your attitude because a lot of these people it's like what steve said steve's like Well, you know, you got to just you got to just pretend and and and you know be red pill and and you know Fake it till you make a type of stuff at some level those things those things are viable tools in the short term but the reality is You don't fake it you got to commit to it And and that's the thing is is men can commit to things men have a sense of duty when they commit to things That's part of being a man of your word when you're a man of your word You're not just a man of your word to the individuals around you But you have to be a man of your word to yourself Damn right you have to be able to self govern and that means that you have to assess your emotions And then you have to turn those obstacles into opportunities and what I mean by that is this You'll see this and and we see this a little bit on youtube But we also see it in life as well Especially with like, you know long-term employees like you ever walk into like a job situation Where there's one person there who's been there forever and all they do is bitch I hate this job. I hate this. I hate that all they're doing is their shit tests and everybody else because they feel threatened So they they do that to throw everybody else off their game Now so when I talk about this I talk about it from a perspective Are you going to complain about your situation? Or are you going to create an opportunity to get to a better situation? Because the point is is that if you're spending all your time looking over your shoulder Or like what tupac used to say if you're looking in the rear view mirror and that's all you're doing and you're not looking in front Then you you're never going to be able to approach your obstacles because you're going to just start You're going to start reliving all those failures that you had and you're going to focus on those failures So much that you can't see what's ahead And so you have to cut out the obstacles whether that obstacle means You know getting rid of alcohol and drugs out of your life Whether it means anything else that's interfering whether you have people who are constantly negative around you You have to get rid of those people and you have to create opportunities But more important than be a relationship obviously like you know cutting out a girlfriend out of your life Or even a plate or something like that. Absolutely. Absolutely. You got it You got to constantly assess and this is why and I kind of want to dovetail on that too Is is that we have to trust but verify So when we trust one another as individuals as men as as friends as acquaintances as business partners And even in a in a male female romantic relationship We have to verify that trust occasionally, you know all successful businesses people understand this but all successful businesses They run on accounting principles. You got it. You got it. You got to make sure that your debits and your credits line up Well, how do you know if your business is being successful? You got to reconcile the books every so often you got to say, okay How much money is going out compared to how much money is coming in? You got to do that with your relationships as well. You got to ask yourself. Look is this female? Is she an asset or is she an expense? If she is an asset you keep her around if she is an expense Well, you cut the expense out because none of those types of expenses are necessary But that's the same thing is you got to assess yourself as well. You have to reconcile your life and say look We have to figure out what part of my life And you say we is yourself talking to yourself We figure out what part of my life Is an asset and what part of my life is an expense and now I got to work to get rid of those expenses So that I create more assets This means that you have to learn to be consistent You have to consistently exercise your body and your mind and I don't care You know what health level you are you can do this anywhere. I'm not in perfect shape You know, I'm an older man But there's a lot of people out there who you know, they're not in a perfect situation But they make the best with what they have and then they slowly consistently move forward And as you do that as you continue to look ahead As you continue to to do the things that you need to do to be looking forward to to create instead of complain You're going to find that more opportunities come to you and what you're going to find out is Is that the issues that you had are not as bad as you thought they were And when you're already out the other side everybody else is still complaining and they're still bitching and moaning And you're already moving on to the next one Yes, something I can add to a little bit is that the older you get the more perspective you get Obviously, you've been alive longer on the planet walking around doing your things a man Or fucking up or whatever you're doing, right? But as you gain perspective, it really Yeah, it reminds me exactly what you just said that it's never it's usually never as bad as you think it is and it's usually a lot better than you think it is And uh, the more shit you go through the more you the more reference, you know, they call reference experiences You accumulate these things and you can look back on them. You're like, I've been through ship before I've survived that I've survived this relationship. I've survived, you know, this fallout. This this is not all this kind of stuff See, that's interesting But it's it's you know, I say that because it's easy to lose sight of that the heat in the moment When your emotions are riled up when your biology is pumping, you know, adrenaline Cortisol stress hormones all these things not just for a few minutes or a few hours Maybe in a particular conflict but even for days weeks and months As you go through life and navigate, you know, the different challenges you're going to face as a man Assuming you're living the man mindset, of course Oh, yeah, when it's uh, it comes down to for a lot of guys on stand, man When we tell you to be honest, we don't want you to mean well, you know, Steve told me to go into this deal that I'm trying to Benefit our company so I'm gonna tell him all our secrets and stuff. We don't mean that kind of honesty What we're talking about is being more honest with yourself Your self importance and your ego are your biggest enemies because They're the ones that are pushing you a lot of you guys right now Before a lot of you guys you don't understand this every day, you know I've been I've been learning me and growing since nine years old And I'm still haven't learned everything I need to learn. It's a constant You're constantly learning yourself But you got to push aside who you think you really are to which you really are And for a lot of you guys you think that it's not manly To ask for help or it's not manly to have to listen to another man Teach me how to be a man. Well, let me tell you I know I'm the shit But when I get in front of my mentor, I ain't nothing I ain't nothing but a crumb under his foot And I shut the fuck up and I listen and I learn and I grow that's how growth is but You guys out there that are trying to understand about the truth The biggest problem is is that you lie to the most important person in the world And that's yourself A lot of you guys, you know, I understand We love the fact that you're a rare pill But you don't say I'm red pill and you're not living like a man, you know It's okay to say I'm learning to be one But you you're doing yourself a great disservice when you think you're something more than you're not and that's not knocking you It's just being honest because you're always going to grow as a man is infinite. You you just don't stop. There's no Ceiling at the top. You're always growing and you're always adjusting to the world. That's how men are It's always been like that since the beginning of time men have adjusted to the world But the problem is is for Not you guys listening, but you look at the enemy The enemies that are coming to our doorstep Are trying to prevent you From learning your truth Because what they want you to do is they want you to be a clone of somebody and we are not trying to nobody's trying to Make you dj or anthony or me We're trying to bring something out in you where you can learn. Okay, this is where i'm at And I need to take an honest assessment of where i'm at I think the reason for that to steve's clones are weak I think the reason for that too is that clones are weak Uh people want you to be weak so that they can they can control you and they can leech value from you That can basically use you as a pawn for whatever they want to do Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, you know go forth and dislike all of his videos. Okay, we'll do it Okay, even if you're with a woman who wants to control you she wants to make uh like a cluster be clusterfuck They're notorious for you know getting into your head finding your values and your weaknesses And using those to exploit your control you whether that's a nasty divorce where they steal your money or it can be a Lot less than that too Right. Yeah, and anthony here's the biggest problem. There's a lot of young men are so busy being clones That they want relationships anthony they want to meet women But when you don't know who you are And you don't know what you stand for and you don't know what your principles are and you don't know When the draw a line is something Then she's going to do it for you and and then you want to get mad at her for treating you bad when you don't ever take a moment and look in the mirror and say What do I need to be fixed today? What do I need to work on? What do I need to build up? What do I need to go out and do and again? I gotta say anthony There's nothing wrong with reading a book. I keep telling y'all guys read books But I keep telling you guys you can grab a book right now and turn five pages And you can see how much energy you put in in that You've got to get out into the world The books are labeled in time The world is always moving and you're not going to learn how to drive throw a football swing a bat by reading a book or Get women or be a better man by reading a book. Sure a book is going to give you some guidelines I'm not saying that you know, it's a minor steve uh for years in my experience in the pickup community specifically the pickup artist community Getting better at sex has always been a huge topic like for very obvious reasons I think and probably some not so obvious ones too And there's been books on this there's been like sex gotten method from one of both speakers that was huge back in the day on different different, you know content creators and speakers of folks on this topic obviously for fucking decades But obviously the most important thing I think guys don't get that are reading about how to you know, fuck better or whatever And for whatever reason they want to do that You're not going to get better at sex by fucking reading about it like period the the amount of the amount of improvement you've got from that is like Less than like one percent at best. It's going to come from fucking It's going to come from tapping into yourself and being honest to yourself about what you want And then you know hashing that out in real life. I'm with you know, uh respecting boundaries breaking boundaries finding boundaries Thinking up new shit being creative being wild whatever you got to be right So that's so it comes to mind just based on what you're talking about here that like sex is such a good example that reading about it The fuck's I gonna do well, yeah, right. It's not gonna show you how to kiss. It's not gonna show you how to caress It's not going to show you how to how she's gonna move to your touch and how you got that flow I mean, I don't want to get too deep into that but I just might in my point you in the right direction That's solid. That's all that comes to mind. That's right. No doubt. Yes. Absolutely. Again. That's what I'm saying Books are great. I'll never tell you don't read a book But don't just read a book read a book and get out there and do things can combine the two That's what I'm trying to say But but what the finish is my take I just want to say at the end of the day It's okay to look at yourself in the mirror and say I need help I need work and there are things that I need to be fixed. It's okay Because we all I'm do a god. I'm a bad motherfucker and I'm still I'm still hard on myself I don't like who I was yesterday Matter of fact, I'm starting to like not like who I am today And I need to see how I can fix it to be better than who I am Tomorrow that's the mindset that you got to have man work on you gentlemen Fuck yeah Let's dvj will happen. Yeah, I think it's important to to to really dovetail that, you know It reminds me of a quote from Muhammad Ali You know, he said if you're the same guy at 50 that you were at 20 You wasted 30 years of your life I think that that's really important because again, you know, we all talk about the generic You know, it sounds like a platitude of this whole live and learn But the reason that that quote has been around for so long Is because it is a truism And the thing that that I think that's just as important here to kind of dovetail off of both of what you said About getting out there and experience As men is the people listening you have to build your own tribe You have to actually have people that you see face to face in your real life Men need to have friends and other men that they can do things with Whether you go shooting together whether you go and you know, throw a frisbee or play football Or watch the game, but you have to get out and you have to unplug and and you use YouTube and you use these videos as a tool Do you have to be A in in each other's face you have to be face to face And spending time with each other because the thing is isolation kills It kills friendships. It kills relationships. It kills career I just read an article the other day online that was talking about how Most people in the united states today. I think it's like I want to say it's like 30 or 40 percent That's not quite most, but you know what i'm saying. They don't have any friends at all They're socially isolated. Wait, what's that number again? Holy fuck somewhere between 30 and 40 percent of adults don't have friends Holy fuck Everybody's everybody's so busy looking at their phone and looking at their computer That they don't have Friendships anymore and too many men, especially men with high testosterone They have less friends than other men around them because testosterone causes us to isolate So it is important to strive to at least have a few good connections because the thing is The synergy of those relationships that you build Will always bring back more value more bang for the buck than working by yourself This is part of the reason that I joined the red man group is because there's a synergy there Where all the men in the red man group and you look at 21 convention The synergy is there even if people don't necessarily agree with one another They agree enough That they work together and and we work together, but the point is this We only test our ideas and our belief systems by challenging one another as friends and in a respectful way That's the only way that as individuals that we can go. Okay. Maybe I have this idea in my head But that idea is wrong. I need to be humble enough to go Okay, I need to put that that mistake aside and I need to look at the real because I'll tell you if if If ddj comes here and steve the dean says something that ddj disagrees with but steve the dean is right Then ddj has to be humble enough to go. Yeah Thy I had it twisted. I need to I need to look at it from a different perspective So you have to learn from mistakes and you have to learn From from flawed thinking and you can't do that in isolation. You can't do that in an echo chamber And it's just like steve said If you read a book and you don't do anything else Then you're not applying the knowledge you have to get out in the world And apply the knowledge and it's so bad our society is so bad when it comes to this sort of thing We not only have reality tv so that you could pretend to be living a life That that somebody else is living instead of you. We have reality video games Look if you want to go hunting go hunt don't play a video game because You know what i'm saying Yeah, they got a video game they got a video game for house flipping and i'm a video gamer I play the fuck out of video games But they got a they got a house flipping video game where you could you could you could flip houses in the video game How about you just go flip houses and go swing a hammer and go learn that shit on your own? Because instead of paying somebody else to waste your time You can invest your time and money on something that's going to bring you a high rate of return I'm just saying that look if you are not out in the world And you are not communicating with with with men in your life and working together And you sit in social isolation and you have zero friends or zero applicable knowledge In other words, you are not applying the knowledge you've learned you are wasting Opportunities because you're sitting doing nothing you can learn it. There's a time to learn There's a time to educate yourself But then there's a time to take those lessons and put them into practice. That's all i'm saying Yeah, I think it comes down to a attitude. It's active or passive Are you reading passively with no intent to take action in response to what you learn? Or are you active about and you're immediately going to go apply it as soon as you can And that's that's that's you know down to the man how you're going to you know live your life Yeah, I just wanted to say this real quick and this is how important time is to you guys and honesty Guys, we are four months away from the new year What have you been doing with yourselves? You have eight months you have had eight months to start making the changes You had eight months to start soaking up the information You had eight months and you had uh, you had eight months to go to the 21 conventions and things like that to learn more What are you doing with yourself? Is it i'm telling you? This is something that I learned. I hey i'm i'll be 48 on wednesday I'll be 48 on wednesday. Let me tell you the thing that I learned the most I learned that when I was 18 I blinked and I was 25 I blinked again. I was 36 I blinked again. I was 45 time goes by so fast gentlemen Just think about think out time that's going by right now We are four months away from the new year It's time to start being honest with yourself And it's time to start moving in the direction where you want to go because you can't give back time and that's the truth fellas You want to speak to this too and add some juice to it on a personal level geno's taboo sometimes in the Mantisphere but this year with my company and the red man group and 21 studios and the 21 convention I push the bar higher the bar higher than I ever have if I push my limits I push the above and beyond my limits in some ways We started a new conference type for fathers earlier in the year I put that together very fast in 90 days and it worked out. We had about 100 men show up Mostly fathers obviously a couple grandfathers and then a couple aspirational fathers like myself 20s and early 30s that didn't have kids yet, but you know you want to do it someday. It's important to it's a value I got back going and that was a big deal. I mean this was not Sometimes people see events and they don't really understand what is involved because they're in a completely different line of work events are very complex and They're fucking brutal sometimes you're not gonna lie And so I've been pushing myself this whole year to do, you know, we've been we've only done three events once before That was a long time ago back in 2012 when the company was a lot smaller and a lot different So this year has been a huge viewer for me personally personally I've had to push my limits and dig deep dig as deep into my fucking soul as I can To accomplish all these things And part of that now has been pulling off two 21 conventions back to back the fatherhood patriarch edition And then recently in Poland obviously steve you were just out of that one yourself And you know these so basically we started a new conference and then did an international conference Now we have the biggest conference of the year. We're actually just you know, now It's we had to define Molly new sign on as a speaker Uh from free domain radio youtube channel with like a million subscribers Uh floss for all these things So this year for me has just been it's been one of the most wild years of my life And it's been difficult. It's been triumphant. It's been Complicated there's all kinds of drama obviously in conflict behind the scenes Also in public, you know and shit like that So it's been it's been a wild fucking year But I know that because it's been so wild and become there's because there's been so fucking much going on And I've been dealing with that step by step as a man Uh as a young man becoming an older man, you know, I'm pushing 31 now whoop-de-doo But for me it's a lot different from being 21 And I feel a lot stronger because of it and I don't know if people see that you know They see you know what we do with these videos and the red man group and all this stuff But obviously like these guys watching I'm a man. I'm a human being I'm I have my life I'm on challenges and difficulties And I dig as deep as I can to grow as much as I can and become the best man that I can be overcome May I uh jump in I got something to add on that What anthony's talking about and this is something that I've talked about a lot online in a variety of places He's discussing adversarial strength So you hear all these guys that they get they're like well I got broken or you know, I went through this tragic thing like my divorces were rough, right? I went through some hell just like anthony went through hell in his own life I'm sure steve has had his some hells. He's had to go through everybody has situations in life That they're they're crucible. They test you in a way that you've never ever been tested before and the way that a masculine man Handles that is he uses that as an opportunity to be stronger. So a lot of people go Oh, I went through that in life. I'm gonna go cry. Yeah, and there might be a time for tears when it comes to that Lord knows when I was fighting my first Uh post-divorce action trying to protect my kids. I cried absolutely you know, every man has their breaking point, but You learn from those things and you say, okay, I got through that. What's next. What else you got, right? So once you understand that that's where adversarial strength comes from it's strength through adversity That's why you hear this thing about iron sharpens iron and steel sharpens steel So the one of the ways or or I should say some of the ways that As a masculine male You can move forward And and to really keep the momentum going is to learn a new skill every year of your life It doesn't matter what that skill that still could be a minor skill It could be a major skill depends on what's going on that year That you know gives you that time to do that. So, you know, learn a new skill Every year and make one new acquaintance Every year somebody you can do things with somebody that you can actually be in their physical space Because it is important to be a part of society And to be able to not not just not just your social life But your professional life as well whether it be networking or you know, taking your your your brands to the next level If you're an entrepreneur because the thing is is that when you do these things what you're doing is you're making Investments in yourself. You are contributing to yourself and when you contribute to yourself and your own personal successes You contribute to those around you and people see you as a leader And now here's the other thing that I think is extremely important as well I think at some level there are people in the mannisfar who are leaders But I don't like to refer to myself as one what I refer to myself as is I am a voice I'm a fallible human being. I'm nowhere near the neighborhood of perfection I'm just working on my own self and my own path as much as everybody else is The reason I bring that up is because There are people out there. They get a little bit of popularity They get a little bit of uh, you know, some followers coming behind them And then all of a sudden they think the people think they can do no wrong There's a psycho sycophantic tribal mentality where nobody tests anybody and what ends up happening with that is that it creates an echo chamber And that echo chamber creates stagnation It is important as masculine men to be around people who don't agree with everything you say and everything you do Because the only opportunity you have to grow Is through that disruption of disagreement respectful disagreement Hopefully, but you want to make sure that those relationships with the men around you are strong enough That you can disagree on the issues But still maintain that personal and professional relationships as those things come through because again What this is is is you're surviving and you're thriving through conflict You're managing the conflict and you're going okay, you know Maybe anthony and I disagree on things and there have been things he and I have disagreed on But we understand that disagreement on the issues doesn't mean that we can't associate And I'm using that as just kind of a lighter example because the disagreements that anthony and high have are real minor But when it comes to a lot of people in your life, whether it comes to You know people you work with for five or ten years or it comes to you know That neighbor that you've lived near for a long time those things are important to be able to say look I disagree on the issues or maybe my disagreement is based on my own ignorance And now I can learn from this person these are opportunities and when I say being a part of society The other thing that people miss out on is how many people know their neighbors How many people know their neighbor's first name or or the people on their block if you've been living someplace for two years You should know if you live in a house you should know everybody on your block You should know at least know who they are what their first name is what their last name is If they've got kids a dog or whatever and the same thing with apartment dwellers You should know at least a couple of the people on your floor or near where you live because we as individuals We isolate too much. So we have to be able to say look this is how I create value for myself and you might you you're never going to know what those new relationships bring I'll tell you right now. You know, I look at my life from 2013 to today and In 2013 I never imagined I would have the people in my life I have today and I have some extremely valuable people in my life today who test me Who challenge me who support me and who understand the value of relationship because again, it's about that investment Versus expense if these people are going to lie to you if these people are going to take advantage of you or you know, They're only invested in you because you invest You know, they can take advantage of some knowledge you have those aren't people you want in your life Unless unless they bring something to you again anybody who's who does not invest in you cut them out and move on You're with your day, but on the other side There's a lot of people out there who for whatever reason maybe you know that guy next door He's he's three doors down and you just say hi and his name is Jim And you just say hi for like two or three years And then one day you sit and you talk with him and you find out that this guy is like the most amazing person on the planet And both of you have things to offer each other in a friendship and maybe even a professional relationship But had you never said hello to that person had you never been open to that communication you would have never known What opportunities were there and that's what all I'm saying is so be a part of society Make a new acquaintance every year learn a new skill every year because when you contribute to yourself You contribute to those around you and if you isolate You you kill everything that you tried to work for Ddj one thing I really like that you mentioned here was uh, basically you deal utilizing opportunities as opportunities to grow stronger Uh, that sounds like it's obvious, but I think a lot of them and it's not because some of those uh Opportunities and challenges you need to set up for yourself I can speak from experience that I've not built 21 convention 17 times And the reason I'm able to build new events for fathers and international events in poland Is not just because I've done the convention uh before like in europe We did it back in the day in sweden and london and shit But because I've done this incremental series of events and conferences literally, you know from men around the world And each one of those has been its own unique challenge whether it's in florida or texas or australia or whatever the fuck Each one was an opportunity to challenge myself and I've You know I do that every fucking time essentially and then grow from that and grow stronger And sometimes that's through the company growing stronger sometimes it expands We have new relationships new content obviously speeches and you know recordings and stuff that we publish free to the world And that's valuable But internally for me as a leader of the company and the founder and the ceo I have to grow stronger and I have to grow with the company and change with the company over time And I have to walk my own talk and be that example for men too to the best of my ability Not just for them but for myself To be to be the man that I am to be authentic and all that So it just came to mind when you mentioned growing stronger through adversity and through challenges And I've that's that's my my best personal example I've had relationships obviously in the one with medusa is particularly famous And all kinds of you know interpersonal challenges and conflicts But above all it's been the convention itself 17 times now That have been major events in my life not just in the atmosphere but my personal life That's set up the stage for me to grow stronger and become more of a man And this year in particular I set up you know three of them and now two of them are done And I feel stronger from it. I feel like I've changed I feel exactly if you're talking about Muhammad Ali quote of uh, you know 50 to 20 or whatever in the 30 years Yeah, you better damn well be different You better damn grow and if you don't you've wasted a huge chunk of your life before you fucking die And you don't know when that's gonna be you could die any day Yeah, there's no I can say there's no time on on life and stuff and That's why we we want you guys to to look at Who you're following and who you're listening to and see Is that person trying to make me a better man? Or is that person having me doing his bidding? I mean these are things that you got to understand and like dj was saying he's absolutely right look We don't have to agree on everything But as but we respect each other as men and that's what it's about man You don't you know everybody comes from different walks of life And everybody has different things that happen and go on in their lives and in their perspective as their perspective You don't have to agree with me anthony or dj and like dj said there's a few things We don't agree on but that still doesn't make me say you're less than a man Doesn't make me say I don't respect you because men don't behave that way When you get around men you can learn some things. It's not just saying. Okay. Well, it's always going to be my way or the highway You can learn from other people and that's what men men soak up information. We're like sponges, you know We soak up but like they were saying, you know bad things happen in our lives all the time I mean bad things that matter of fact Just this morning. I my my dog my my dog for 11 years That's been loyal to me for 11 years. I had to put him down today and But no no, but I mean, yeah, but that's That's how life is but it's It's things that will happen always in your life and you got to enjoy the moments You got to learn how to push forward, but you got to accept those things But that's what we're saying for y'all guys out there, man Life life is a very challenging thing and life is always going to come at you And life is always going to beat you up But the beautiful thing that you have with these gentlemen here and those that follow the 21 convention They don't want you to be them. They just want to guide you and be a beacon So you can guide yourself That's the difference and that's things that you've got to learn and understand We all have our trials and tribulations, but at the end of the day We can dust ourselves off even when we get knocked down And keep moving forward And I think I mentioned this earlier, but with perspective on these challenges and conflicts through life that you're going to navigate as a man necessarily Like there's there's almost It's unthinkable. They're going to go through life with that serious challenges and conflicts, right? But part of that perspective I think and as you age has become some more apparent is that you're always going to have 99% chance you're going to have more difficult battles ahead of you Someone's going to die our relationship is going to end. You could lose custody of your children You could go through a bad divorce and lose all of your shit You could become suicidal you could lose your business You could have all these professional challenges and you know, whatever the fuck there's a life is super complex And you know the more the more you put your balls out there on the chopping block The more you're going to see that learn to respect that and then navigate it and succeed and whatever you're going to do as a man But yeah, it's always uh, it sounds it sounds demoralizing. I take it first glance, right? It's like however bad it says it's going to get worse in the future But to me that's kind of inspiring because it's like, yeah, whatever's going to come in the future Not unable to handle this right now. I'll be able to handle that too based on my history of my life Where I've been successful and because I've pushed myself and been honest myself and that's with women. That's with work. That's with life Yeah, I agree with that completely. The other thing too is that that kind of reminds me of You know what michael jordan said and I know I don't you know I don't think we should be pushing on success porn, but I think that it's important to say look You've only failed when you've given up So, you know if there if there are mistakes that have made you and you haven't really You know, you're not successful because it's trial and error You have to understand like what michael jordan said he said that like, you know For every time he scored the game winning point or for every time he did something amazing he failed like five to 15 other times and you and if you talk to a lot of people that are considered successful that are celebrities and you know people that have a skill like business investors athletes They understand that You know, they're going to be remembered for the success not the hundred times they failed And that's the thing that a lot of people don't understand. They think oh, well, you know If I had a rough life and and I'm not I'm not Successful by what my measure is by the time I'm 30 or by the time I'm 35 I'm never going to make anything of myself. Don't listen to that. That's a lie There are many people out there who you know, they they paint their masterpiece. They they do their whole You know, they're their major thing in life. They do it later in life So as men we age like wine if we take care of ourselves So those things are important But also to kind of go back to those relationships is you know, we were talking about that When it comes to relationships where there's mutual investment as long as everybody's values are similar and complimentary The relationship is always more important than any disagreement and I say this because this is extremely important I see people out there, especially on youtube who agree to 90 percent Of what each other talks about right? So the values are very similar The relationships are there but the second that there's some kind of disagreement All of a sudden everybody turns it into some kind of unnecessary war What that shows is a failure to manage conflict It's an inability to manage conflict because once you grow through that disagreement. The relationship grows as strong It grows stronger as well So, you know, though that's one thing I want to talk about the other thing I wanted to kind of briefly say was that You know, sometimes when we gain knowledge as men, we can't use it right away We can't incorporate it into our life right away. However, later on in life Oftentimes that knowledge we get becomes useful So just because you can't learn it right away doesn't necessarily mean that you shouldn't learn it But more importantly Act on the knowledge you do gain. Don't just sit and read books and do nothing like what steve the dean says Actually do things men are creatures of action masculine men, especially our creatures of action So don't think for a second that you can sit down there and armchair quarterback everything without experience in anything in life And think you know everything because the guys who are the who are the wisest voices They're the guys who not only learned academically, but they applied that knowledge to their lives and on top of that They have strong relationship with people around them so that they can bounce those ideas off of to make sure That you know, oh this idea is really good in this context, but not in that context This is this helps avoid that echo chamber thing. So again, it's about looking forward It's about you know doing the things to reduce your stress You know as far as exercising and having a healthy diet those types of things and of course, you know Just just live a healthy life and you're going to find that a lot of these trials and tribulations you go through are are going to be Less negatively impactful. It's like what steve said, you know, he had to he had to put his dog down today That's an 11 year relationship You know, but unfortunately the circle of life calls And you know, he's able to get through that because he's a masculine male Who appreciates what his situation really is? Not some bullshit somebody else said Speaking of that, uh, you mentioned some kind of practical stuff there I wanted to we're about an hour into the show and I wanted to shift gears a little bit To more practical advice and tips for surviving and thriving through conflict From any perspective you want to kind of take it out I know personally that what come what came to mind to me earlier today thinking about this Was good habits not and not just building them obviously in the heat of the moment, which Can be done. It's not ideal. It's having them before the fact Not only having them but then maintaining them through those difficult times This is something that socrates taught me years ago during my divorce with medusa To maintain daily habits that I had whether or not they were like extremely important So at the time I was getting into uh, I just got into wet shaving with like uh, straight razors and you know Safety razors and shit like that instead of the multi blade bullshit old school shit And I was in new habitat for him for a few months and I kept on with that And I like that a lot into this day. I actually uh shaved my neck that way Obviously the beard's been growing out for a while, which I fucking love But some habits like that I think are really important It's a daily routine where you can kind of focus in slow down and meditate And just focus in on the moment and whatever the hell you're doing even some simple like shaving or whatever the fuck you're doing Another one that I think is really valuable that meant to do enough is journal Something I've gotten into recently is writing handwriting a journal For years in the pickup community. I kept a journal probably like five years But it was typed. I didn't hand write it Extremely rarely would hand write it. It would be just written a lot of those public too at the time I ended up turning it into like a pdf and all that shit But those are some of the habits that I have for for myself, you know Wet shaving like that, which is kind of a delicate process. You have to learn handwriting a journal has been fucking amazing I like to love it, you know as a new habit for a few weeks now Other ones that I do personally are stillness meditation 15 to 20 minutes at a time You could do different kinds of meditation if you want active and all sort of stuff, but for me, it's just Very extremely still meditation has been, you know, fantastic for a couple years now And I go for daily walks myself every day. I walk for at least 15 20 minutes Which is super simple, but it's something that I picked up a couple years ago. I really love something got from Steve Jobs I read about in his biography just go for these all these walks. He's to go with these, uh, you know business partners and stuff like that Another one I have that I do every single fucking day It's something that does help me get through conflict Is I have coffee every morning every morning that I hang around and I make and I sit outside And I just fucking sit there and drink my coffee and stare off into the world I watch the kids go buy a little bikes go to school and shit I watch people drive around the street whatever the fuck's going on I just kind of observe the world 15 20 minutes like that Just sipping my coffee and then I ground by hand with a burr grinder. I recommended by Tim Ferriss and my little favorite ones These are some of the habits I have that I do super consistently whether my life is going super amazing and everything's fucking fire And all cylinders shit's hitting the fan the world's gonna end or anything in between These are some basic habits that I think keep me focused and grounded Through all kind of on any kind of conflict I'm gonna face whether it's like a divorce business disputes all kinds of shit Steve you want to happen on that? Yeah for me, um, I like you I ride my I'm You know, I learned from somebody that you know, just riding your bike makes you feel like a kid again. So I I've been that scooter Steve like that scooter. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love that scooter No, that scooter wasn't shit. That scooter was fun Man, we're here polling a one got me on that little scooter, man You know what I would have loved to do we could have just rode through polling dude Just all night, man. That would have been just a great adventure. But um For me, I I I learned relaxing yourself like uh, like a one or anthony saying I call him a one guys Well, anthony he's anthony you always he's a one to me But what anthony is doing is relaxing and sometimes you've got to relax your mind Sometimes you've got a lot of stresses in your life And one thing I love to do and I learned to do is I ride my bike I ride five miles a day matter of fact after the show is over I'm gonna ride my bike five miles a day and all I do is just put on my ear sets I listen to music and I just ride my bike and just It relaxes you and then at night time Because I have a hard time going to sleep. I listen to classical music. I love man Let me tell you I've been listening classical music since the fifth grade And I just love it's peaceful. It's serene. It's quiet and it also relaxes your mind and stuff So for me anthony those are just a few things I like to do to relax my mind and get away from it all and just Soak up life and see how life is brother Didi j you have some practical tips you can throw on here for surviving thriving comfort I I talk with friends face to face every day Every day I'm in their personal space now whether it's you know, drinking coffee with them Or doing something else with them or just just sitting chit chat. I do that every day Um, I try to get up early every day I try to get up early get everything started and get my day started early because you know The earlier you get up the more time you have to get things done I exercise at the very minimum twice a week because i'm trying to get back in shape as well And I follow that with a relatively healthy diet Of non-processed foods So, you know, those things are extremely important as well and I get out in the world at least three days a week So, you know, you got to get out you got to experience the world you got to You know dust off the cheeto crumbs for those of you that have them, you know And then on top of that, um, I like like everybody else. I have an active mind So sometimes I have a hard time sleeping as well So I read at the end of the day and I read both fiction and non-fiction because it gives me kind of a break as to how things are And I like reading mysteries and things because what it does is it activates my mind as far as critical thinking skills As well as you know problem solving skills and things like that. So those are just some of the things that I do as well Yeah, I can uh, I want to tag on to the end there. You gave me you kind of you know, inspired me to put it out there So one of the things I do to survive conflict is I return to my favorite movies And this is like this is like a large collection of stuff, right? 4k dvds blu-ray things. I have, you know, whatever it And I look for and I say that specifically because I view art. I'm a huge fan of iron ran and objectivism philosopher noblestine ran author about the shrug and fountain head and all that Um, I view art as a fuel for mansoul This is something that i ran said was known for and her non-fiction works as well as I think in her fiction works too So art is fuel for the soul particularly through difficult times when you need to Fuel your soul and you need to fill it up with with that good masculine fucking juice, right To kick ass and life and take names and put out fires or start fires or whatever you got to do So with art though in movies, uh, that's my preferred preference More so I do read books fiction and non-fiction And those some of them are very important to me in my life the fountain head in particular is My favorite book of all time as far as the novel is concerned But movies in particular. I think a good burst of energy like that two hours three hours over the fucking cases And in particular, I think what they do um It's a really good way to put it is this book, uh King warrior magician lover it's been out for a while That's been talked about a lot in recent years in the man's sphere AJ Cortez has been big on this recently at the convention when he speaks I think what movies do Uh, particularly when they have a male You have the masculine lead is they demonstrate to you masculine archetype masculine archetypes King warrior magician lover and they demonstrate masculinity in specific ways per, you know specific to the plot line And that could be like strength courage mastery and honor the tactical virtue is espoused by Jack Donovan the way of men in his works So movies will show you every movie is different, right? There's different plot line different characters different actors all these things Uh, a good example of who's you know, it's john wick john wick with keanu reeves Now whole trilogy fuck it, right? It's a very masculine movie. It's been very celebrated. Um, even in the man's sphere. Thank god But that's the warrior archetype It work this guy absolutely taps into that and and demonstrates it not only the character But the actor keanu reeves did a lot of training in real life for that movie And it shows in the movie It shows in the whole series how professional he is and how skilled he is with these things And you can even see the behind the scenes kind of you know Documentary documentary of that How much effort he puts into that and how impressed everyone is with them. I think it's very real guys savages fuck That's just one example, but there's you know any kind of movie you watch You'll see these actors and the plot lines and the writing if it's done well It's a good movie that you enjoy We'll tap into these archetypes that are deep within your brain an evolutionary psychology, you know according to these these these writers and these authors And they demonstrate to you what a man is in a specific way and how he taps into his own masculine V and his own psychology as a man to survive and thrive through some sort of battle or conflict So movies for me are very useful like that and even if I've seen them before I don't care I'll watch them again Because I want to study and I want to learn I want to understand what happened in this piece of art That has stood a test of time usually years or decades in case of movies Yeah, well a one I uh I real quick I I watch like I like you I watch certain things like ray donovan Power, you know, I watch I love watching those movies those no nonsense men But I wanted to add one more thing to this one thing guys write this down get your crayons out Go to netflix and type up fireplace very important There's one thing I always notice when I watch a lot of films like the tutors of asalis or things with kings They would always be by the fireplace They always just take a moment to sit in front of the fireplace Man, I'm telling you guys it is nothing like turning all the lights off Open it up netflix turning on the fireplace because it starts from a small amber and it burns to a fire, but It's very soothing and very relaxing guys and how I get it It's nothing like just sitting and looking into the fire man You know, it's funny steve when I bring girls over sometimes I'll turn the fireplace on a netflix I'm like, yeah, baby Because it's it's super rare in florida to have a fireplace like a lot That's what people do like I did growing up, but most houses don't have it. So and you say that they're just like what? You know, yeah Yeah, that's that's that's a romantic move. But yeah, I think they know we tell them all sex. I'm trying to give me advice But that's real though Just don't be the fireplace when it comes to time to get tested for std's That's right. That's right Yeah, I can't say I've been perfect either man. It's funny the older I get the more imperfect I've become with like onum use and stuff Which is horrible but uh, well Well, and I think the thing that you guys bring up is extremely important that that really needs to be underscored is that men Need to have time to contemplate To just whether you look into a fire or you've got a large fish tank Or you go out into the woods or you go bike riding or something You need time to be able to think and to process what you hear and what you see And even what you say and and to kind of go back through and replace some of that and go Yeah, this is you know, this is relevant This is important or this wasn't relevant or maybe next time I could say this better that type of thing So I think those things are extremely important because if men don't have time to themselves to contemplate A little solitude to do that Then that increases their stress level unnecessarily And this is especially important in times of conflict You have to have that time of solitude as long as you don't isolate To the exclusion of the people around you you have to have a little bit of solitude To be able to reminisce and to consider and to contemplate because if you don't have that time Then you're just go go go and you have no time to go back and say okay Now I need to do self-assessment was this right was this wrong that kind of thing And this is where when we talked about at the beginning of the stream Where if you don't do those things It's going to create more problems and it's going to solve Yeah, I wanted to mention earlier. I almost tapped into it. I was like maybe later in the show We can address it. I think now's a good time See, I disagree with you a little bit on isolation But I think you just kind of cleared that up that I do think isolation has benefit in use but it has to be under the context of Getting space for yourself to contemplate and to think and to meditate And I think that's where being solo and going on your own is actually very useful As a man and it's where it's where self-honesty can really come from the thing too Not just for the people pointing shit out to you, but Taking the time to breathe and be like, right, where have I fucked up? Where have I succeeded? What am I not looking at or what do I not want to see about myself or my actions? And that you need to be alone for that to function I think a lot of Yeah, and and that's a different there's a difference between social isolation and solitude All men need some solitude if you if you're a type of guy where where you can't be alone Where where you got to be constantly looking at your phone or constantly looking at your electronics Where you need to be constantly in somebody's face You need to take time to unplug from all of that get away from everything And take that time for yourself now for some men that might be a period of months And then they go back and everything's cool for other men It might just be short short bursts every day of solitude or maybe You know a week of solitude and then they get back and they do their thing. So yeah, solitude is absolutely Unnecessary life skill, but social isolation to the exclusion of everybody. That's a problem I remember even when I split up Medusa. I would I purposely avoided women for probably like Six seven weeks, which doesn't sound like a lot of time, but for me it was While it was enough time. I felt that I needed to be alone and to be away from women at all There's kind of a repelling, you know feeling for that I was like, holy fuck all these women need to get on all women need to get out of my life with some rare acceptance like my sister maybe Um, but that was kind of a it was a it was a space thing I needed space for women is what I realized and some guys might be, you know, if you're a bad divorce That might be a much longer period of time It might go months on purpose or not or years on purpose or not, you know away from women But I avoided women for a good six seven weeks And then I got I eventually hopped on tender and started fucking girls But that was like like the minimum amount of space that needed a thing to get some Some solitude some deep solitude to soak in like What the fuck just happened which in that case was that I married a hooker in Las Vegas on accident Which is kind of like holy fuck But regardless of what your situation is, uh, whether it's with women or business or life and friendships and stuff Yeah, the space is super useful And without that you can get cluttered, you know, I think I think a lot of guys will have a bad breakup For example, they'll immediately hop on like they'll go out they'll get shit faced They'll hop on tender bum all these things right bang as many girls as they can And I can speak from experience that I don't think that's right. That's the right option to take Uh, a lot of times space is needed to to be on your own to figure out what the fuck happened to meditate on it And kind of chew on it like food And then, you know, you go through that and get it out You know, I'm listening. I just wasn't sure if everybody was done. No, you want to jump in No, I was I know you said I'm just listening down. That was yeah Yeah, okay. So I think I think we've covered it pretty well. Um, I know the phone lines are open So if anybody wants to call in now would be the time to do that Yeah, you guys always welcome to call in. It's not Donovan called in yesterday. We're just pretty cool on, uh, the red line George That was really cool. Yeah guys call in 515 6059373 share us your stories, man Let us know what's going on your life. This is what we're here for to build and work on these tribes for you guys So, uh, I mean, we're we're talking to y'all come to us. Let us know. Let's let's let's talk Yeah In the meantime, let's chat a bit about the upcoming convention Uh, that's sort of a conflict in itself and that men have to Show up. They have to buy tickets. They have to get airlines and flights and hotels and all that But also it's a confrontation with other men, you know, it's the offline manuscript or men meet up in real life You know once twice three times a year maybe depending how often you do it Steve, what are you gonna be talking about the convention? Uh, this is in this October This October, I'm gonna be talking about, uh, really thought and behavior Um, I think that's one of the biggest issues that a lot of young men are having troubles and struggles with and they just don't understand Why those two things must be I call it flow You've got to be in flow instead of chaos and I'm gonna break that down Yeah, fuck. Yeah, man. You did you killed it in, um, you know in poland I think it was great Both of them I know I know why didn't you bring it? This is because I didn't think about it, man. I didn't think about it All right, yeah So I'm I don't want us to what I'll be talking about so in poland recently at the convention I talked about the Manusphere I was in a closing address my main speech of the entire event And my talk in poland was on the manusphere itself. It was an overview what it is where it's going And as I decided to do it because I'd realized no one ever before had given a talk In public that I'd have ever seen on the manusphere Which kind of struck me as odd given that it's been around for 25 plus years But it's odd and I think there's reasons for that though. The the community has been Disorganized it's been fractured into these different kind of sub tribes like mick tau and pua and red pill and men's rights But I think that's finally starting to come together, believe it or not And 21 convention a red man group are really good illustration of that probably the tip of the spear with it But at the upcoming event I'm going to be talking about make women great again. Finally this hat Which I've never actually done before You know, I announced it in my 2018 keynote at the event the future is still masculine But it wasn't the main component of the talk. I think in the end of it It will be known for that but it was like a minor portion of the talk So I should be given a talk about it won't be for women necessarily it'll be for men and what this is important But I think women will find it very It'll grab some attention on the internet I know I see women now that are finally, you know, they're figuring out that we're doing a convention next year for women And the ones who follow the manuscript stuff and they're really excited and they're excited to hear from us as men I think probably for similar reasons that the men are right lost boys Men who are lost who are raised by single mothers and women and all this stuff These women are in many ways in the same boat They did not have any kind of guidance growing up. They don't know how to be women They're stuck as young girls for their whole life and they that has consequences of as we discussed on the show So my talk would simply be make them great again And I think that'll be the only talk I do at the event itself Other than maybe some, you know closing opening kind of stuff to announce the event But i'm fucking stoked man To give my own talk on it to put this together at the whole presentation To announce the speakers introduce you guys and have you guys there This is looking fucking huge was to find molly new elliot you jack donovan uh robert glever shawnt smith ed ladamore aji cortez socrates hunter drew I mean the lineup is getting crazy. It's like 21 speakers now, I think And we're gonna add still like um two more for total 23 Which might be the most we've ever had I think we had 23 in 2014 Maybe Now we had like 20 workshops the workshops. Yeah Yeah Sick Well the workshops the workshops people don't know about those that much yet because they're not filmed So obviously there's no videos of them on the internet and that's on purpose though But the workshops are dope as fuck and I'm hearing from the attendees They're raving about the workshops even more than the speeches and the dinners and things like that the workshops I think are a new hit for the event Which is the intention to give like a super exclusive badass experience Above and beyond we've we've already done with the event That's what the workshops do and I think those of you seen some more highlights at the event for sure And they're not recorded, you know, they're exclusive for attending the event and that's part of a mix I'm special. I know you did one in poland steve and you did one in a patriarch too. I believe right? Yeah Yeah, that's right. You're yelling. Yeah, you're Oh, yeah. Yeah, we the women the women next door. Yeah, they didn't because I was getting in That she was fun. The hotel came and got me. They were like, hey like and you get this guy to stop cursing so much Like these women are bitching. I was like, oh my god They probably didn't say bitching but that's how I interpret it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I was yeah, but it but you know, this is what the 21 adventures about guys Is when you get in those workshops It is really private hands-on stuff intimate Conversations that unfortunately those women heard a lot of that intimacy and they didn't like what we were saying but you know Yeah Yeah, 21 convention special team and it's for you know, we're talking here about conflict today on the show And 21 convention, I think demonstrates that how to handle that in a really super positive and productive way Just there's no There's rarely or any kind of conflict at the event that's Negative, but they're like positive conflicts, you know And that's some that's someone like you do in a workshop and someone asking you a challenging question Or maybe not a challenging question But a very personal one that they're going to open up to you about In front of maybe 20 30 other men in the workshop itself as opposed to the main conference room But those are conflicts. I mean when you open yourself up in public like that and other men, you know That's vulnerability in a useful way of being among men only like that That's part of why we have to get there's a masculine and male space Because you can open up like that and that in itself is like a positive conflict You're confronting things for yourself And then other men are being confronted with that with that That impact as well whatever that story is with that challenge you're going through or that life circumstance Maybe it's fatherhood. Maybe it's a divorce. Maybe it's a relationship Maybe it's just your own sticking point with women that you want to you want to get through as a young man And Oh, yeah DJ I would ask you about your speaking of the convention, but uh, I don't know if that'll be happening yet Well, we'll see like I said, I'm I'm not going to keep it off the table yet, but let's see how things go. I'm working on, um Something pretty huge behind the scenes That will uh, that will be absolutely apparent in about I want to say about two and a half three weeks So with that said, um, I want to keep that under my hat right now But if I can get everything squared away where things are well, you know, maybe we'll have that talk Closer to the convention time and you know, maybe maybe I'll say something useful. So who knows we'll see Yeah, for for those who are not reading between the lines I'm always pushing ddj to be a speaker of course at the event gently and politely And I hope someday, you know, he's able to do that, uh for his life circumstance and you know, you'd be doxing yourself Obviously doing that photos and videos and all that But I'm all out of it. I think it'd be a great speaker and you've demonstrated that obviously through your channel your content and your contributions here in the red mag group I appreciate that. Thank you Fuck yeah Well guys, that's about it for today's show. I think we can start wrapping it up. Let's see what happens, Steve Yeah, no, I just wanted to say to the guys out there. Uh, last thing I want to say to those guys, man, um I like I say I I I'm not saying this because I I really, uh, appreciate a one But I'm telling you it is an experience like no other and, uh It's just it's just a it's just a guys when you get opportunity to go to these conventions It's not a the guy walks off stage and you never get to see him again Well, that that might have happened one time the guy walks on stage and he never seen, you know Yeah, I mean, but outside of that one one guy outside of that person You can you get to rub elbows with everybody Yeah, you get to as soon as he walks off the stage you can you can walk up Everybody's approachable. You don't you're not being treated like you're a flunky or a fan You're being treated like you're a man That's amongst men and it's something that everybody should experience. That's just all I want to say about that, man Yeah, you know what I realized too, Steve, uh, you probably saw us on twitter a little while ago But I realized just a few weeks ago that the upcoming convention Orlando the final event of the year Is also the final event of the decade for my company for 20 studios It's also the final event for the Manisphere for the decade. Wow, and uh, you know When I planned these events out last year and then throughout this year That didn't really occur to me. I wasn't thinking about okay 2019 end of the year blah blah blah and then 2020 But really, you know, the whole the whole country and the whole world is going through the end of this decade And every decade I think is different from the next, you know, you see that Obviously 70s 80s 90s 2000s and whatnot But I think we're finally we're gonna get some perspective not only on culture obviously like we do with every decade I think we're getting perspective on the manuscript itself. We move into the 2020s And so this event I think is a real turning point It's a turning point in leadership. It's a turning point in the future It's a turning point in content and ideas And what is going to guide and command the future of the manuscript itself And this event by fate or by chance the 21 convention of Orlando, Florida coming up in October October 24 to 27 That event is pivotal. I think for this moment And it's it's quite literally like an axis turning point for all of it And that's all that's been involved with speakers and the red man group and 21 studios and the workshops Since defend molly new and elliott and all these guys It's all kind of coming together into this giant thing And I'm fucking stoked for it and it's particularly uh It's kind of a shock for me to for adult come together like that because I wasn't the intention to do three events Then we'd wrap up the whole decade But that's just the way fate has played out And it's the last major event for the Manisphere of the whole decade And I'm excited to set the stage for the future for the 2020s And I really believe that the Manisphere is going to take off I really think that jack murphy one of the speakers mentioned this too that The Manisphere could very soon explode Into the mainstream mainstream awareness and consciousness, which it hasn't done yet Like a few little tribes have like the pickup artist ship, but that's like uh, no one's over The the average person has very little idea about that and no idea that there's a whole movement organizing You know among men and bymen, you know for these issues None of that's one thousand. Yeah, I wanted to say something about that too, you know This is an extremely important turning point for men everywhere because This knowledge used to be common. They're back in the day. There was no Manisphere. There was just Right. There was no red pill. There was no blue pill And a lot of the stuff that a lot of guys talk about in the Manisphere A lot of stuff the guys talk about as far as red pill blue pill. All this was common knowledge This is what our fathers and our uncles and our friends and everybody else around us We used to have a lot of male mentors. This was common knowledge prior to This whole change where we you know as a society we emasculated men You know Somewhere close to 60 years ago and and this idea of emasculating men Now it took this common knowledge and it turned it into like this with this wisdom now That's now the Manisphere. So as it goes mainstream, we're going to start seeing Rather than talking about the Manisphere per se. We're going to now start seeing masculine men in society And I think that's really that's where we all want to go Because that what that does is that brings balance back to society and balance to our families and balance to our communities Dude, I totally agree and I think it's what the Manisphere is doing And I think I've mentioned this in my my keynotes talks the feature is masculine the feature is still masculine That you the individual man the guy watching this video and attending the conventions and even contributing to the Manisphere The twitter account or a blog or whatever you're doing You are the ultimate threat to the feminist establishment because you want to become more masculine because you want to become a man And the best man you can be That's a threat because you're becoming more powerful and you're getting in touch with your own nature and getting in alignment with it Which is what feminism and it's a feminine Anti masculine culture has done It's thrown us off over a natural course of being men and being women and creating families and doing all these things masculine leadership in the culture, right? and yeah, there's a there's kind of what you're talking about here dj pj2 is like It's a cycle of history, right? You know, we lost our way as a culture particularly in america, but also throughout the west And that is our consequences and now you're seeing the manosphere I think as a result of that to bring it back to a balance that's healthy and positive and and based on real life and on facts And on things that correspond to human nature and that make people happy And that's like, you know, that's having the man mindset being a fucking man What does that do? One of the things it does is it makes you fucking happy instead of miserable Same thing for women, right? You can act like a woman be feminine or you can be a bitchy miserable cunt And try to act like a man and ruin your life So I think the manosphere it's it's making men fundamentally one at a time more masculine through these videos and the conferences and the ideas and the books And it's powerful stuff And I think that's why it's been attacked so heavily too in recent years and months Whether it's like, you know, they try to blame mass mass shooters on us or whatever the fuck They want to like label it as misogynist and all this shit now now they're saying it's like far Everything's far right from the manosphere and all this bullshit Their grasp in his straws, you know, they're desperate to attack us and take down Because it's working because it's actually helping men Throughout the country and the ways that they desperately need I think right now In ways that make them more masculine and that push back against all this feminist blue pill propaganda That's been shoved down our throat since we were little babies so kids fact son That's facts like a mother. Yo, that's facts son No, that's what it's about man What we're trying to do is we're just trying to help you guys improve yourselves the best way we can You all have greatness in you. You just need a little more guidance in you and that's what it shows like this That's what the convention is for that's what the speakers are for and before I can't say djj's the speaker yet But that's why dj is here as well to give you great insight and great information to help you become A better man at the end of the day Well, and I think and I think the other side of this is that you know, we as men We need to get out of our tribe. We need to get out of our echo chambers We need to get out of our our comfort zone and and we need to let that steal sharp and steal So, you know, that's one of the reasons I'm here because I'll tell you I have to lead through example just like everybody else And so, you know, if I can come from a community that traditionally is Unaccepted and be a part of this particular group and still have things to offer and be able to create relationships with people in the areas where we agree and the areas we have common ground That works better for all of us because I can't tell anybody don't socially isolate Or go out and get into the world if I'm unwilling to do it myself Yeah, fuck yeah All right guys little banner there get your tickets now. Oh, I want to make it a little announcement too. We'll do this Probably next week's show as well Let me get this banner off So final announcement that the red man group is now proudly sponsored by the fraternity of excellence from hunter drew and craig james You can visit the uh look at the description of this video and you'll see a link to join the fraternity of excellence That links an affiliate link and the red man group will get a commission of that So you can support the red man group by joining the fraternity of excellence That is easily one of the top online online men's communities in the world for becoming the best man you can be And striving for excellence in your own life. It's an excellent fucking club hunters by no been in the chat today Fuck yeah, he's also of course the host of the patriarch's edition of the red man group So I clicked that link join the fraternity of excellence and have an awesome time be a be the best man you can be using that service In addition to that cobertates war room is now an official sponsor of the red man group of 21 studios There's also a link to join his war room That's another online community although it's a lot different than the paternity of excellence Uh, they'll be check it out and a lot of my friends and speakers are members in that group And they absolutely rave about it how much they love it. It's very powerful and we'll have andrew uh cobertate in the show Soon as well talk a little bit more about that and the things he has to offer you guys A great man and a great speaker and great entrepreneur great fighter So check out those new sponsors guys and as always tactical soap as a sponsor you can get a link There's a link to buy that in the description And use coupon code rmg or 21c you the one to work And it'll get you 10 off your soap and you get some tactical soap get your pheromones all amped up Juiced up and you'll be attracting ladies in no time with a penis that's a mile long Well, that's sad. I'm gonna wrap up today's show. It's been episode 78 of the red mag group surviving and and thriving through conflict I'm anthony dream johnson your host. I was joined today by steve the dean williams and ddj for miss andrew today Insert wave here Yeah There you go