 Good morning everybody. Welcome to the semester and class on our Christian Marriage and Family. It's wonderful to have all of you here logged in as online students. Want to welcome also the students who are at the eLearning course. Thank you for joining in. Thank you for taking this time to journey alongside with us as we explore and look at this entire series on understanding marriage and family. So it's a pleasure to meet all of you. I think we'll just go through a quick round of introduction. Just maybe give us your name. Tell us where you probably logged in. I know some of the students are here in in Bangalore. They're with us here, but if there are any other online students. So I just like maybe I'll call out the names. You can just quickly you know share a little bit about yourself which city you're in and maybe a little bit about yourself and that'll be helpful. So I just want to introduce myself. I'm Jean George. I work as a counselor. I reside here in Bangalore and I've been part of APC since 2004. I've been part of the counseling ministry since 2011 and also been teaching two courses in Bible College which is Christian Management Family and Christian Counseling. So just a quick, it'd be great to have an introduction of each of you. So maybe I'll just call out as names as per what's on my list and you could just quickly unmute yourselves and just say hello. Give us a little brief about yourself. Which city you're logging in from and any anything else that you maybe what you're doing. Whether you're in ministry or whether you're working or whatever else that you are working through. Right. So I've got Anand Paul on my list first. Anand Paul, just quickly unmute. If you can put on your video, it'll be nice. So I have a face to the name as well. Anand, I'm not able to hear you. Can anyone hear Anand or is it just me that I'm not able to hear Anand? It's my mom. Okay. Hi. Hi. So Anand, where are you from? I'm from Andhra. You're from Andhra. So are you logging in from Andhra? No, no, no. I'm on campus student. Oh, you're on campus. Okay. It's okay. Yeah. So if you could just put on your video so I can get the get the face also that would be great. Okay. So we'll we'll move to who's who's next. Anthony, Anthony Solomon. Oh, yes, Anand. Hi. Hi. Hi. Thank you. All right. Anthony, Anthony Solomon. Morning. Good morning. My name is Anthony Solomon and I'm from Nigeria. I'm into full time media, media support officer. I'm into full time ministry too. Welcome, Anthony. Thank you. Thank you. This must be early morning for you, isn't it? Or late night, I guess. Yes. This is like 5.30 a.m. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for your commitment of joining in. Thank you. All right. Thank you, Ma. Thank you. Chira Gawala. Chira Gawala. Hi, Chira. Hi, ma'am. Hi, ma'am. Good morning, ma'am. Good morning. So Chira, a little bit about yourself. Tell us which place you're from. Ma'am, I'm from Assam, Northeast. Okay. Yes, ma'am. I'm helping my church. I'm doing ministry. Okay. And I was in Bible College last year, but this semester because of my health issue, I'm doing online. Okay. Okay. So I was just wondering if it is the same Chira that I met last time. Okay. So it is. Okay. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. I think we met, ma'am. Yes, yes. Of course. Of course. Yeah. Nice to meet you, Chira. Thank you. Right. Francis. Okay. Francis is familiar, but yeah, for the rest of the class, Francis. Francis. Okay. We'll wait for Francis. Jaqeem. Yes. Go ahead, Francis. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm a Bible College student. I'm from on campus. Okay. Where are you from originally? I'm from Kerala. Okay. For the benefit of everybody, Francis, I know I know you, but never bless for the benefit. Thank you. All right. I have Jaqeem Paul. Jaqeem Joel. I'm not sure if I've pronounced your name right. Hello, hello, everyone. My name is Jaqeem. Jaqeem. Okay. Hi, Jaqeem. We live in Bangalore for almost 12 years, but we are from Tamil Nadu. And I'm a girl. My daughter is in her 12th standard. My husband is working for a female automobile company. And we worship in APC East. Okay. Nice. Nice to meet you. Thank you, Jaqeem. So, yeah, we'll be interacting a lot more. Right. Nina. Hi, Nina. Nina is also familiar to me. But hi, Nina. Hi. There's another Nina as well. So I think I meant Nina. Oh, yeah. Nina Santosh. Okay, let her finish there. Yeah. Okay. Nina Santosh. Hi, faster. Nina here. Nina, you can give a little bit about your background. Where are you from? Okay. I think we'll go on. Nikhil. Nikhil Masih. Hi, Nina. Hi. Okay. Nikhil Masih. Hello. Good morning, man. Good morning, Nikhil. Ma'am, I'm Nikhil from Farukhabad, Uttar Pradesh. I'm serving with my pastures. So right now, I'm on campus. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Nikhil. Okay. Nina, John. Hi, I'm Nina, John. And I belong to Kerala. We live in Bangalore. And we worship at APC North. Yeah. I help coordinate Bible studies for women. Thank you. Thank you so much, Nina. Thank you. Ramali. Hi, everyone. I am Ramali Puthila. I work for an IT firm. And yeah, I'm right now on campus. Are you on campus, Ramali? Currently, I'm on campus. Okay. Okay. All right. Welcome. Welcome, Ramali. Rinchen, I'm sorry if I pronounced this wrong. Rinchen? Yes. Yes, Pasu. My name is Rinchen Pee. And I'm from Mandu. And I'm an on-campus student. Oh, this is Rin. This is Rin. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. I got a little lost looking at your name. All right. Welcome, Rin. Sivakumar. Sivakumar. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. My name is Sivakumar. I'm from Mandu. I'm working for a hospital man. Okay. So you're logging in from Mysore? Yes, man. I'm an online student. You're an online student. Okay. Okay. Welcome. Welcome, Sivakumar. And Sri... Okay, Radha. This is Radha. Sri Radha from campus, I think. Sri Radha. Okay. All right. Okay. So welcome, all of you. It's a real pleasure to be here and just go ahead with this course with you. We're going to be looking at the entire book on Christian marriage and family. And we've divided this class over the next couple of weeks, which is 16 weeks. And we will look at it in different sections. Okay. So today, we're going to be focusing on the very first chapter. The book has been uploaded on the stream for the online students as well as for the e-learning students. It's there on the e-learning portal. So if you could just, if you'd like to follow through as we're going ahead in class, that will really help you and also to go back and learn. So one of the things before we get... Before I start and we look into this entire lesson and this entire course, just a little bit about myself. Yes, I am married. I've been married for 20 years. We have... My husband works here in Bangalore. We have two children. I have a son who's 18 years. Is it doing his first year degree and I have a daughter who's in grade nine. So one thing that I do love about teaching is the way that I can look back or I can draw from my own personal experiences, my own personal account and bring that through in class. Now, even as I do that, I'm requesting and I'm encouraging everyone to equally participate in conversations. I'm sure there are quite a few of us that are around 15 of us here and I think there are a few of us who are married and just the wealth of being in a marriage in itself can really help some of us learn as well as bring about our testimonies. For those who aren't married, this is not maybe a time for you to say, okay, this doesn't apply to me. I always wish that before I got married, I had these lessons taught to me so that I could be more well prepared as I got into marriage. So for all those who are unmarried or yet to be married, please stay awake and take in as much as you can and do participate because even as we're looking at the course as marriage, some of these lessons that we have can help you in any relationship that you have, those with your parents, those with your siblings, those with friends, those with people you work at. So all of this can be applied in some way or the other. So I'm really looking for an interactive class. I know I can't see all, but nevertheless I trust that all of you are behind this black thumbnails that I can see. So if you are moved to switch your cameras on, I'd really appreciate it so that I don't have to be talking to a blank screen and I can actually interact with each of you. So if you can do that, that will be great and I'll really appreciate that. So great. Thank you so much for some of you who have responded to that. Really, really appreciate that. Okay, I just would like to know how many of you all here are married. You could just put a thumbs up or a hands up. There is a way that you can raise a hand. Okay, Shivakumar, Nina John, I think Nina Santosh is married. Anybody else? Jacken is also married, I think, right? Yes, Jacken is married. So there are just four people in this group, I guess, who's married. Yeah, okay. So four of you. Great. All right. So I think before I begin, let me share with you that remember, even as I'm teaching this, this message is not just for you, but it is for me. I'm not in a perfect marriage, but I am learning just as much as all of you are. And I think every time I go through this course, there's a lot of learning that I receive, not just from the word that they're teaching, but also from the, from the discussions that come by. And that's why I think even as we're learning, when we discuss, there's a lot more of wealth that we receive and hear of how God's working in the marriages of Edward. Okay. So today we're going to be looking at chapter one in the, in the book. So if you have your books with you, we're on page one on understanding marriage. It's there as a download. So you could just open that and we are on page one, and you could just go through that. Maybe the verses that we need to read, you know, I'll ask some of you all to read so that there is some form of an engagement. Okay. So to put a basic understanding of this entire course, we first of all need to begin to understand what the Bible says about knowledge. So we're going to really bring about a biblical understanding of marriage. And why that is so important is because when we look around in, in the place that we stay in the world around us, yes, people talk about marriages, people are married, and you will find many different forms of marriages or different ways that marriage is expressed, right? And for us to go back to the very blueprint of marriage, to understand what God had in store for us as we, as he instituted marriage in itself. So before we just get started, what do you see are the different forms of marriages? What have you come across as different expressions or different forms of marriage in our world around? So you could just unmute, just quickly share what you, what you think, you know, what are the different expressions of marriage or maybe even people may have opinions or views of marriage. So just quickly unmute and share or you could even type on the chat and that will be, that will also work. Okay, there's no right, wrong answers here. Okay, everyone is free to share. All right, go ahead. Yes, awaiting some responses. Maybe I should, okay, marriages, thank you Anthony. Marriage is joining of two people, male and female. So my question was what are expressions of marriage that you see in and around our world? Yes, one is joining of the male and female, okay. Someone's written traditional marriage, a love marriage, okay. What else? Thank you. Thank you for those responses. Keep them coming. What else? What are the other? It's a design of God, yes. What do you see in the world around? That was my question. What kind of relationships or marriages do you see in the world around? What expressions of marriage do you see? Any other thoughts? Okay, so you would find that, that as of now, you know, in the current time and age that we live in, there are a lot of distorted expressions of marriage and this would include marriages between a man and a man or a woman and woman or relationships where people coexist together without going through marriage or there are child marriages or there are multiple marriages of a person marrying many people together or there can be a marriage of convenience or like we spoke about, you know, marriages of the same sex. Now these are all distorted or forms of marriage that was not in the blueprint of God and that's what you will see around. But when we are looking at marriage as Christian believers, we are looking at the Bible as our standard okay and we are looking to see how we can learn and understand about marriage from the perspective of how God designed it to be and to ensure that when we are in marriage that we live according to the Word of God, according to what God teaches us about marriage. So the first and foremost understanding or the statement of belief that we hold about marriage is that God is the designer of marriage. He is the one who bought about the very institution of marriage and let's look through scripture to get a basis of that. So if anyone can just unmute and read Genesis chapter 2 verses 18 to 25 Genesis 2 18 to 25 would someone quickly unmute and read it please. The Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him. Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them and whatever Adam called each living creature that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle to the birds of the air and to every beast of the field but for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him and the Lord God caused deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man he made it into a woman and he brought her to the man and Adam said this is now bone of my bones and flesh man flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken under man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. Verse 25 Rin. And they were both naked the man and his wife and were not ashamed. Okay thank you so much. So when you look at this account of how God God creates everything one by one and prior to this account of reading in verse 18 you will see that God called all that he created good. Everything that he created, the sun, the moon, the birds, the animals, all the land, the sea, everything that he created he looked back and saw that it was good. You notice in verse 18 it says that God says it's not good for the man to be alone and thus God says so I'll make him a helper and a companion. So Adam being alone was something that God noticed that was not good and so he bought God himself bought a helper or a companion who could be suited for him, who would be a helper to him. So when we look at this if man were to be alone what would happen? He would be on his own, he would be isolated, he would probably want things for himself, there would be a sense of maybe selfishness that's there and in order to keep this away that's why you'd see God put man into a deep sleep, removed one of his ribs, replaced it with flesh and bought a woman and presented him to the man. So this is something that God himself did which shows us that God designed marriage and it was to bring down to eliminate anything that the man would experience on being alone. So you would see again in that verse in verse 23 that Adam looked at Eve and said and he recognized and said okay this is someone who is just like me. I could relate to this creation unlike the rest of the creation that God had made. His relation to maybe animals or his relation to nature around was not as strong as the way that he would relate to someone who was like him. So he recognized Eve to be somebody like him and so when God bought Adam, God bought Eve to Adam we know that God himself was the one who instituted the first marriage or rather in other words he's the one who solemnized the wedding and you see that in Genesis 2 verses 24 to 25 and if we were to look at a definition of marriage, a definition of marriage as comes from that verse is that marriage is a man and a woman who leaves all earthly relationships, embraces each other and becomes one person before God and as a result it says so therefore because of what God did in creating a woman for Adam that's how marriage came into existence or came into being. So our belief is that God was the one who designed this union of a man and a woman coming together in marriage. So when God was the one who made his counterpart and when God made Eve, he made her in such a way that she would be most suitable for Adam in every aspect of the creation whether it be physically, it be socially, whether it be intellectually, emotionally created one who was like him but was quite different but was very different from the way that he was. So when we look further at certain scripture, we begin to see what it means when we're looking at marriage, what are some of the essence in marriage that we will see. So let's just look at Matthew chapter 19 verses 3 to 6, would somebody please the read that out, someone else could read Matthew chapter 19 verses 3 to 6. Anybody else Matthew 19 3 to 6? Matthew 19 chapter 3 to 4. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason. Haven't you read he replied that at the beginning the creator made them male and female and said for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh so they're no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate. Okay thank you. So you would see here Jesus is endorsing again what scripture has written in verse 4. It says haven't you read the scripture that says in the beginning the creator made people male and female and he says for this reason there are certain aspects in marriage and let's look at that. To leave, to leave which means you do not you which means to keep away to abandon to set aside that is to leave. Second is to cleave which means to join together which means to unite which means to bring together and third has joined together literally it would mean to become one or become so much together that they're one. So these aspects in marriage or the definition that you look for in marriage is a man and woman coming together leaving every earthly relationship cleaving or embracing one another and becoming one person or becoming one flesh before God. So scripture also talks about what God has bought together let no one cut away let no one severe. So since God is the one who's designed the marriage since God is the one who bought the marriage what we're going to look for from now is the principles or the ways that he talks about how a strong marriage can be built. So because God has designed it he's the he's the author of it like for example you get someone who makes maybe a phone or makes a device if you want to use it use it you need to go back to its manual you need to understand what the manual says about what the product is so similarly God's the one who bought Adam bought Eve to Adam bought them together to cleave together so that they would be one. So we look back at God to understand what are some perspectives that we must keep when we look at marriage that when we when we when concerns matter. So what we're going to do is looking at certain perspectives about what marriages. Okay so are we good all right okay so let's go the first one the first perspective that we look at is that marriage is a good thing marriage is a good thing and let's take a scripture it's Proverbs chapter 18 verses 22 if someone could read that out Proverbs 18 22. Proverbs chapter 18 verse 22 the man who finds a wife finds a treasure and he receives favor from the Lord. Okay thank you thank you friends so what what do we see here you know that marriage is whatever God created whatever he designed is good um he calls what he designs good so when we say something is good it definitely is given to us as a as a as a benefit okay it was designed to benefit us it was designed to really bless us it was designed to bring about greater things in our individual lives and that's what scripture talks about he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord so that shows that whenever whenever we get on to knowing that what God has given us is a good thing alongside with it comes blessing. Now even as we discuss this there's sometimes I think even you know even maybe even in our personal lives or in lives that we've seen of others we may experience certain conditions or circumstances that make life very difficult or um you know things in marriages sometimes go wrong or does does not does not um there's not come about in the way that uh we we we read in scripture saying marriage is a good thing so we expecting that many things would happen well right so uh and what happens is that we sometimes feel that marriage is a bad thing because of these challenges or because of these uh the kind of struggles that we may go through um or the kind of difficulties that a husband and a wife face there are so many issues that may come maybe there isn't an understanding expectations aren't met or there could be financial struggles there could be health issues there could be um unfaithfulness there could be uh misunderstanding so much so even in the worst situation the perspective that God gives us is that marriage is a good thing so we have a choice to either look at marriage from the way God sees it or from the way that we see it as part of our circumstance right so no matter whatever reality you may be facing at this point of time the way God has spoken about marriage is that it's a good thing so as a husband and wife uh to be able to confess that where they are or who they are with in their marriage is a good thing and it was designed by God and it was something that God instituted and that and the more that you confess that you know it was designed to bless to benefit and to really build our lives and with the wisdom of God with the with the understanding that we have we learn to do how what is right and we really experience what God intended for us in marriage okay so that's the first perspective we look at marriage is a good thing as God designed it to be okay let's look at a second point the second point that we look at is marriage was designed as an institution that need to be honored that need to be held in honor and in reverence um I'll read uh Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4 it says honor marriage and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex so when we look at marriage it is something that is to be held in reverence it's to be held in honor and uh or whatever happens within marriage any form of intimacy must be something that is held sacred that's held holy and it's to be guarded with all care and guarded with all purity so a lot of times um you know especially when you when you discuss about marriage often it is seen as a social institution right something that you do for um because everyone does it or because uh you know it's a form it's a culture uh you need to ensure that you keep keep on extending your family you know having them generation after generation but the way that God designed uh marriage it's not as a institution that we do just because it's a social norm or a social standard but it is because it was designed and instituted by God for greater purposes and that's what we will be looking at further on in in our course so when we look at marriage we we are uh we we hold it with that kind of a reverence because we know that that honors God a godly marriage a biblical marriage honors God and we would want to honor what he desires of of our marriage so that's the instruction that God's given us to to really honor the institute institution of marriage okay let's move to the third point which is marriage is a solemn covenant or it is a solemn promise um let's look at malachi chapter two verses 13 to 14 would somebody kindly read that verse malachi chapter two verses 13 to 14 and these have you done covering the altar of the Lord with tears with whipping and crying out in so much that he regarded not offering anymore or received it with good with at your hand yet you say the wherefore because the Lord had been witness between thee and thy wife of thy youth against whom thou hast dealt treacherously yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant he's King James thank you thank you Anthony right so what do we see here is that when God bought about marriage these and and I'm sure a lot of us would have been married by speaking vows or by establishing our vows to one another for those who are married to one another in the presence of God so it is a covenant relationship that you made with one another in the presence of God probably in the in the way that you know you you spoke your vows maybe it was in church or you know whatever there was there was a sense there was a way that you shared of your covenant relationship with one another and that was through a form of vows so you establish a promise you establish a vows saying that you know God is witness in this in this act of marriage in this in in this institution that I'm getting into so this this union together between a man and woman naturally is established through vows that you spoke but God stands as a witness to this to this covenant of of faith and so when we're looking at marriage we're looking at it as a lifetime covenant it is a lifetime promise that you have made and God desires that you hold on to that promise so it's a lifetime covenant it's a commitment between that one man and one woman and that's that's how God sees it rather than what you would notice in in the general marriages that you may see in the world around it's a matter of convenience you know I'm married here today maybe tomorrow when I don't feel like it I can walk out or if there is something that comes in challenging then I'm you know I do not need to hold on to the promise or it comes with certain conditions but when when we look at the Bible Bible says that the commitment the covenant we keep is something God desires to hold on till as a lifetime commitment that we have okay any questions at this point just just a quick short two minute thing for any questions please feel free to ask questions if there are doubts you haven't understood something or you know you have a different idea understanding please feel free to share and open up if not we'll get into the next point okay so let's look at point four okay thank you run let's look at point four point four it talks of how marriage is between one man and one woman only so we we looked through Genesis chapter two versus 24 and 25 we said we saw that you know a man will leave his father and his mother and cleaves with his wife and they become one flesh and the two of them the man and his wife you know were naked but they didn't feel any kind of shame so when when we look at um at marriage what are we looking at it's that you that there were two aspects we looked at right to be able to leave so that we can join together or we can clean so we we it is the responsibility of both the husband and the wife to be able to leave all other relationships and then join to one another so although it does say here that uh the man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife this is also applicable to the woman that you leave all other relationships whether it be parental whether it be other kinds of close relationships that you've had you leave that relationship and cleave to this so the first responsibility for a young man or a young woman is to ensure that they establish that independence from their parents and all other earthly relationships so and this is this is fairly important especially maybe in a in a kind of culture that that I live in and maybe some of you also probably understand that the the the dependence that a young man or a young woman would have on his parents that's another relationship what we what we need to establish as a healthy healthy disconnect okay now this doesn't mean that you don't take care of your parents because that's generally the question that I'm asked you know what does it mean that I don't take care of my parents does it mean that I don't look after their needs it doesn't mean that you have you you need to ensure that you take care or you are there to support your family members or your parents but your first responsibility or your allegiance first comes to your spouse and that would mean either in decision making in working things together in communication in doing things all comes initially the initial responsibility is your spouse so it is to establish that independent you know that that sense of dependence that one may have had prior to marriage to establish that establish that independence and cleave and join together with your spouse the second responsibility you would have is to make that commitment to one another establishing that commitment to one another now you would we all understand that you know when you think of a project that you're working on maybe just needs two people if there are more than two people it can be an extremely crowded place right so similarly in marriage when a man and a woman a husband and a wife come together there is a certain bond or a certain circle that they form and this circle is only meant for the husband and wife because they are brought together by God and there is there isn't a room for anything or anyone else to come into this inner circle and when others get or interfere in this circle either in the form of you know getting in their decisions or stealing away the time that the couple have together or when there is emotional dependence on somebody else this crowds this inner circle and as a result of which it will experience burden it will begin to experience some form of stress so a marriage that gets crowded by people entering into the inner circle through some emotional dependence or relationships that are inappropriate can form stress and it is important to severe or move away those those kind of those kind of attachments so that the husband and the wife can really focus on one another okay like it may be give you an example so if if there is one of the spouses who has a strong dependence on their own parents and they give the importance to their parents more than the spouse this inner circle you know often gets broken and gets violated and that is not what what's God's design so in other words just as we would encourage the husband and wife to build dependence on one another this is also something you know we want parents of to be able to let go of their adult son or their adult daughter so that they have the capacity and the ability and the the impetus to actually give attention to the spouse in order to work together so even if when struggles happen between a young married couple to allow them to establish a way and help helping them to sort out their own problems rather than parents getting involved in the issues of these adult adult children okay so that's what we mean by a marriages only between one man and one woman only now even as we speak about this we also want to discuss about how distorted marriages are very prevalent in our age today right and what I mean by distorted marriage is the way that gay marriages or homosexual marriages have been approved by so many okay we look at scripture and say that there is that that is something homosexual lifestyle is not something that God approves of God's word teaches us if you look in Romans chapter 1 verses 26 to 28 he teaches us that homosexuality is sin and not in part of God's design so that that isn't a marriage that is a place of of a sinful lifestyle okay but even when so when we're looking at this we also remember we also keep in mind that God although he hates the lifestyle the sin lifestyle of homosexuality he still loves the people he still loves people you know it is not dependent on the lifestyle that they are in God loves people and so we are also called to love people who may be trapped in this sense of a lifestyle of homosexuality or any kind of a same-sex marriage but what we do not do is we do not agree we do not condone that lifestyle instead we reach out to them in the love of God we reach out to them in helping them challenging them to explore and to see what God has designed and we do that through the power of the Holy Spirit through the power of what God calls us to do so this principle of God bringing one man and one woman together to build an inner circle so that it can be protected so in in in other words to ensure that there aren't any other forms of interruptions or people who who binge into the into this this sacred bond all right so we've covered a couple of points we have different perspectives we said that marriage is a good thing we spoke about marriage being an institution to be honored we spoke about how marriage is a solemn covenant and marriage is between one man and one woman only okay all right we'll have a break of 10 minutes it's 10 49 on my clock we will resume back at 11 o'clock so you can grab yourselves a cup of coffee or a little breakfast and we will meet back soon