 Hey there friends! How's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're doing something a little bit different. We're still in quarantine and I've been looking for things to pass the time so I went up to my attic and looked at some of my old childhood games. I found some gems and not just games by the way. I found some other treasures too. But we're going to take a look at those games and see what made me the way I am. I tried to play these ones. They're a PC genius but they're floppy disks and they wouldn't work. But we know PC genius didn't make me a genius so we'll see where the damage came from I guess. Okay we got Laura's The Happy Adventure. I know what you're saying is like, oh did your sister have that one? Did your sister play that one? And maybe you watched her like play it and no it was, it was mine. Look there was a reason okay. Hype the Time Quest was my all time favorite childhood game and it was a Playmobil game so I bought all the other ones too. This one wasn't as good. We're gonna try it anyway. I'd also like to point out that on the back it says that your child will develop IT skills which obviously isn't true. That didn't work at all. Memory recognition. That might have worked. And IT skills which obviously didn't work because I couldn't get these to work. Write your name on the line. Oh god this game is hard. K. I. V. Yeah that looks right okay. It even looks like my handwriting. I think this is going at approximately three frames per second by the way. Oh what the shit Laura what are you doing? Laura's high as shit. I don't remember any of this. Thanks for setting me free. Oh my god Satan has contacted her. I'd like to start bringing luck again especially to help you Laura. Okay this thing is a hundred percent evil. Like this is like a Voldemort Horcrux or something. All you have to do to make me sparkle is kill your parents Laura. You need to kill them to make me sparkle. Okay then pleasing people around me. Oh I'm not good at making people happy but I'll try Laura. I'll try. Brother demon gem. You can pick up certain objects and put them in your rucksack. Oh can I pick up the baby and stuff it in there? I'll make air holes. Kill her Laura. Kill her. It will make me sparkle. All right let's go out into the big open world. Even her run is like Jesus Christ. It does a little skipping a hop. Jesus Christ this does not seem safe. All right I'm going in. What have you got for me? Come in my dear Laura. I'm already inside. I don't know how to interact with this lady. I will tell you your fortune in exchange for an exotic feather. All right that seems a bit unusual. Where am I supposed to get that? I should also add when I played this as a child I got really stuck on the game and it was because a lot of the items just didn't spawn in as well as people's faces and skin. They were just floating clothes. Don't just smell a child like that Jesus Christ. What's wrong with you? Hello Laura. No thank you. I'll never talk to you again. A mushroom. You've already been eating them. It's quite clear. You're talking to rocks. That is a salt. You're going down bucko. You know I don't think I was supposed to leave the house yet. I can't find like anything to do. Maybe this was it. This was just the game. Your play is a little girl and that's it. You can climb up or down ladders. Yeah this thing is 100% evil. It's trying to get a child to climb up on the roof using a ladder. I'm like seven. You are a irresponsible parent but you know what? Whatever I got nothing else going on mom to be honest. Oh for fuck's sake I gotta go shopping and everything. Do you realize what age I am? Like are you trying to get me kidnapped? I hear crying again. No I'm going out to get food. It can keep crying for a while. She immediately just skips happily out the door. I don't think mom should have trusted me with this. What the hell do babies eat? I have no fucking idea. Yo you got any chicken wings? But in exchange for the baby food I need you to do something for me. No I would like to just pay you and leave. Gather three mushrooms for me. Fecker. Drug addict. Like we look rich. Our house is like 15 rooms and we have a maid. I don't need to be going around gathering mushrooms for the peasants. Oh I can jump. Okay of course I just had to hit Z. The standard jump button. Yes yes I'm coming for you mushroom. I'm gonna get high finally. Probably she is crying like crazy when we left. I don't care about your back pain okay I got other things to do. All right your drug mule has arrived. Take your mushrooms. Here you are Carmen. I've got your three mushrooms. Why did you need to weigh them? Yes it is indeed three mushrooms. The scale says it right here. Oh I hear crying again. Like we have a maid. Why isn't she taking care of the baby? Christ you are an ugly baby and feckin rude too. What was that about? Oh my god such a f*** you eat stuff the food in its mouth. All right there we saw it. Oh my god I hate you. Baby's nappies. Oh no no feck that. No no no we're not doing that. We didn't sign up for that. I signed up to feckin feed it. Feck off you can cry all day if you want. We're done here. Laura's happy adventure is not so happy. It's just her mom trying to make it into a happy adventure when it's really just taking care of a child. All right I think we've explored Laura's happy adventure enough. This was quite depressing actually. I had to laugh. I was looking for a guide to try and find those mushrooms that weren't any by the way. I guess little girls are better at games than I am but it's all just talking about how it's targeting little girls and all this. Although it may be suitable for both changes. Okay great I feel fine now. Okay on to the next game. All right so this is a tough choice. We got a treasure cove or treasure mountain. Now treasure cove does say new hot release which is tempting because it's always nice to appeal to youtube's algorithm and do something new but I do have a fear of the ocean so I think I'm gonna go with the mountain. I hope my computer can run this. It's a system requirements. Eight megabytes of RAM. A mouse. That's actually under the requirements. It just says mouse. All right I've already got my account set up here. I'm fecker. Where's he off to? What the hell is he doing? Okay let's fecking catch that elf. Gotcha! You little shit. All right what's my puzzle? I'm thinking of a number between four and eight. What could it be? Now I'm starting to see why this says ages five through nine because I don't know if I'm able for this. Wait a second. Five through nine. It's five. We've done it. Here is your new clue word. Seven. That doesn't help me. I don't even know what I'm doing. Oh speed limit and better be careful. Slow down there bucko. Wait there's seven snails. Is that relevant? I don't know. Catch another one of these feckers. Oh it's opposite. Stop is go. Small. Yeah it's got to be the fecking the things. Okay seven small snails. There you go. Yes! But I don't think it's what I actually need. Who even are these things? Why am I capturing them? I don't get it. Berries. Okay so I need seven small berries. This noise is so obnoxious. Oh wait are we good? Yes I found the key. Now find the lock. I know I find the lock. All right I'm sick of games teaching you simple shit like this. Like why don't games teach you how to do your taxes and stuff? Like something useful. Oh good I found the key to use the ladder on the tree. Which makes zero sense whatsoever. Oh got you a little shit come here. Path with bath both. Pick another word with the same sound at the end and we can play the end sounds game. Well it's really creative. They didn't even try with this one did they? I can be big. I can be small. But I'm always very hard. It's obviously this. I see I need to look for a key that unlocks the waterfall. God knows what they were on when they made this game. I think Laura must have been sharing with them. Ah here we go this is it for sure. Yes got my key for the waterfall I'm out of here. Up we go okay. I might get very wet. Oh god these elves are inappropriate. All right finally want to make sense I have a key to a door in we go. What the hell is this shit? What the hell has gone on here? Oh I'm putting a cat in a box. Oh no I'm putting it on the slide okay. What? Okay now I'm sliding on the slide because that dude at the window got angry. Fecker got three treasures. Is that it? Did I win? You need five treasures to become a one star son. Ah okay well no I'm not doing that thank you very much. The prize is it's just a cat. That's my prize now I have to care for a cat. I hate this. This looks like my trophy case. All right that's enough of that. That was a feckin joy though that was fantastic. It made me feel really smart. Okay now we got Sabrina the Teenage Witch which all right this one was my sister so I still played it so it's still pretty bad. Includes the actual voices of Melissa Joan Hart, Nick Bakey, and all your favorite characters including Wise and Zelda, Flirty and Hilda, Harvey, Psy in brackets, and even Libby in brackets. I am Jim yes we're playing playing now we're playing. Melissa Joan Hart shut up in brackets you're annoying me. What do I do? What is the point in this game? Of course Jesus Christ how could I've forgotten? Oh that's great yeah you can make a little music mix fantastic. I am the black cat. It's the cat. I am the black cat. Yes I am the black cat. Yes yes you are. I am the black cat. Shut up I know. I think someone had a bit of a crisis when they were making this game and the fridge just says what is life? Life is what? Life? The mask is in the bedroom. What kind of kinky household is this? Okay I got a broom great. You should hear Anzelda's stories about her old broomstick. You don't want to know where she used to get splinters. This is a family friendly channel. You and the elves are trying to feck and ruin it aren't you? You fuckers. Oh great my aunts in second. Uh you're wise and flirty apparently. Thank you oh my god look at that smile that is demonic. The whole character is kind of demonic to be honest. Look at that creepy smile she's not even looking at the kids. You're not a witch witches are supposed to be ugly and scary. Boo that's not scary. That was pretty fucking scary to be honest. This is strange like the parents should be in the background there taking their kids away. This person is clearly unstable. What if I use one of my spells here to drop here take take these drops. Honestly that is far less scary. You'd think they saw the boogie monster. The boogie monster oh my god there might be a boogie monster or boogie monsters in the house. Oh wait I'm supposed to be looking for stuff. I see ugly mask. I don't think I need the mask personally. You'll get Sabrina out of that mess in no time. I don't know if she's even in a mess. We're just wandering around the house collecting shit and I don't know why. Ah is that the mask? Come on this is the mask let's do it. Can I just scary it up? No not for fuck's sake. Oh wait I did it okay take it. Hey look an uncanny resemblance to some cheerleaders I know. Yeah like um Libby uh in brackets. Who are you and how did you get in my house? Oh wait hold on actually I think you might be Harvey um in brackets. Good thing he's his eyes closed because we just appeared next to him. He didn't seem to care. From now on I'm on a pumpkin-free diet. What does that even mean? That doesn't even tie in with anything that we just did. This was horrible I hated it. Are you sure you want to quit? Have a good one. Yes you too. See you dude. All right this is a bit of a weird one. This is called Seven Kingdoms 2. When I was a kid I didn't really know anyone who played games so I used to just look at the back and just judge it off that. And honestly looking at it now I have no idea what convinced me. Sorry you can't see it too well there but it doesn't look very good. You taught the friathans were history and the nightmare has just begun. It's starting to believe that. It says no two games will ever be played the same. Don't say we didn't warn you which I don't really understand. But at least they warned me. I can't say they didn't. Kingdom of shit. Look I didn't really realize it would say that when I entered my name is that. It's just how I felt at the time. Like make it as hard as possible. I want six enemies against me and I am a Celtic boy. I think this is like a bargain bin version of like Age of Empires or something. God we're very diverse. I've got a Mongol soldier here, a Celtic soldier, a Persian soldier, a Viking soldier, an Egyptian soldier. Let's just make loads of men. We're going to war. Keep collecting tax. Collect all the tax we can. Wait what? Ten peasants in shithead's kingdom are rebelling. Collect more tax quick. Slaughter them if we have to. There we go. I got more of an army now. Once around the village we're going to keep collecting taxes and build a war factory while you're at it. I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is we need to tax these people. Wait I'm being attacked. What the hell? I just had a rebellion. Can you give me a break? Oh my god, they're fucking huge. I thought that the Friantons were history but the nightmare has just begun. Oh for fuck's sake there's loads of them. And the peasants are rebelling again. Is now the best time? Now you see aliens coming over the hill and you're like you know what? I'm sick of these taxes. I'm rebelling. Your king shithead has been slain. He deserved it. He was a bit of a shithead anyway. My war factory is done though so that's great. I can't make anything. Probably because I have zero people. The humans have lost. The great shithead is slain I'm afraid. I don't know where we went wrong. Honestly I taxed them as much as I possibly could. Could that have been an error? No it's the people who are wrong. All right well I think that's enough terrible childhood games for one day. I think I gotta rape Laura's happy adventure is the best one. I think if we finished with this we would have been amazed with it. But if I realized the bar was so damn low then I think I would have appreciated it more. I wanted to find my other one of these too. I had Alex Bills's farm which that was a good one. You gotta milk the cows and everything. It was fantastic. But I hope you enjoyed the video. I know a bit of an odd one but I'm just trying to keep it fresh and come up with new ideas and stuff to do which is difficult sometimes. No but I like doing stuff different like this and it gives me a bit of a nostalgia trip even though the games were pretty fucking awful. But yeah I hope you enjoyed. I appreciate you watching as always folks. I hope you're staying safe given the state of the world at the moment. And yeah I hope to see you next time. Bye for now.