 Good evening, ladies. Good evening, good evening. Hello, everybody. Hi. Wow, we got a lot of people on here already. Awesome. Hello, hello. Hi, Joanne. Hi, Jen. Hi, Patricia. Hi, other. Deb, Jen, Lisa. We got Ann Marie in the house. We got Evelyn. We got Natasha, Marianne, Alicia, Stephanie, Angie, Angel, that'll be amazing. Hey, you're gonna come back to class on Tuesdays or what? I miss your face, woman. I don't know, can she hear me? Hey, if you're in town, I wanna encourage you to come this Tuesday because we're gonna have some guests from out of town. And I think it's gonna be a special Tuesday night. So if you can make it, try to make it, okay? You guys can hear me okay? All right, good. Good. You know, sometimes the Lord puts something on your heart and amen, a praying for fire too. Sometimes the Lord puts something on your heart and you think, well, maybe it's just for me. And then you get before people and you kinda hear, you kinda feel a little nudging to share it. So there's a little song. Some, it's happened on and off throughout my whole Christian life. And it hasn't happened for a really long time, but it started, it happened tonight, made it around 6.30. I was like, I gotta get on Zoom. But there's a song called Good, Good Father. And you might know it. It goes like this, you're a good, good father. It's who you are. It's who you are. It's who you are and I'm loved by you. Who I am. It's who I am. It's who I am. You are perfect in all of your ways. You are perfect in all of your ways. You are perfect in all of your ways to us. He's a good father. He's good. Our father is good, ladies. He's good and I have scripture to back it up. Are you ready? He's a good father. And so Psalms 1830, if I can see it through my little fears coming out. Psalms 1830 says this, by my God, I can leap over a wall. As for God, his way is perfect. The word of the Lord is proven. He is a shield to all who trust in him. It doesn't say he's a shield to all who live perfectly. It doesn't say he is a shield to all those who don't sin. It says he is a shield to all who trust in him. He's a good father. He's a good, good father. It's just who he is. It's just who he is. And you're loved by him. And that's because of who he is. And that's who you are. You're loved by this good father. Okay, Proverbs 10, 22 says this, the blessings of the Lord make one rich. And he adds no sorrow with it. You know, the Lord is good. And when he gives us a blessing, he doesn't add sorrow to it to keep you humble. That's a false doctrine. That's a lie from the beginning. When the Lord blesses, it is good and it is designed to make one rich. Rich in your heart, rich in your life, rich in your relationships, rich prosper you in business, in what you put your hand to. The blessings, the blessings of the Lord make one rich. And he adds no sorrow to it. So if you have something in your life and you're like, well, I think this is from the Lord, but it's causing you a lot of mental anguish or it's causing you a lot of disruption, then that's not a blessing from the Lord. That's not a blessing from the Lord because he's a good father. He's a good, good father. It's who he is. He is perfect in all of his ways. Perfect. So he would never give you something that's going to cause you heartache. Now, he will give us, he will challenge us to give us things that challenge us. And sometimes you're like, oh, this is so difficult. I don't even know if I can do this Lord. And he's like, nope, you can't do it without me. Remember, apart from me, Jesus said, you can do nothing and that's really true. I have a big week ahead of me and I told the Lord, I said, you don't come with me, Holy Spirit, if you don't manifest through me, it'll flop, it'll be a one big giant flop. And so I'm just relying on him. I have to. I can't rely on my own intelligence as my top priority. I can't rely on my own organization skills as my number one safety. I have to rely on him first and foremost. And what my ideas, if they don't turn out well, then I just have to rely on the Holy Spirit. He's gonna move and do what he's gonna do. A good friend of mine told me, she said, all you gotta do is show up and the Holy Spirit will move. I'm like, oh, that's perfect. And I'll just get up there on Saturday and just say, okay, Holy Spirit, you're playing. So we have the women's conference this Saturday. It's gonna be amazing. Thursday, Brother Rick is gonna preach. Friday, Brother Mike's gonna preach. And then I'm gonna get up there and share on Saturday. So thank you, those of you who plan on tuning in, it will be live streamed like it always is. And some of you will even be in town, so excited. We're gonna have three straight days of really the Holy Spirit moving in great power. And I'm excited. I'm really excited. So we're here tonight hanging out. And I talked to some of my sisters and I don't know, is Renju, hey, is Renju on? We're gonna praise him. But we're gonna talk a little bit about, you know, a lot of you are in a different place in your journey. Some of you are just starting out. And some of you are well on the road to recovery, spiritual recovery. Meaning you've been doing, you've been in this process of deliverance for a long time. And every phase of your spiritual recovery looks different. So what we're gonna do tonight is we're gonna share me and Jan and Stephanie and Renju, she's pups on. I'm gonna give them a chance to share. Ellen will be on a little later, I think she's at work. And just talking about in the beginning, and I'll share a little bit first, in the beginning of the spiritual journey of getting back to health, spiritual health. And along with that gained, you may be regained physical health too, or mental health. So, but before we get started, so I think that's all of our announcements. We've got a big week, I've been talking about it. Anyone new on here tonight, I'll just mention it. This is Steps to Freedom, my name is Julie Andrews. And if you wanna get a weekly link, email with the weekly link, send me an email at steps2freedomadc.com. And I'll send it out to you. We also have a WhatsApp group where people can have conversation, request prayer, talk about where they are on the miracle list. If you need the miracle list, send me an email, and I'll send it out to you, but we welcome you. Those of you who are on for the first time, okay? And we are continuing our series, thanks Stephanie for posting that. We are still talking about pulling down strongholds. And one of the strongholds I think many people have is a misconception about what deliverance looks like and what to expect. So tonight we're just talking a little bit about that. All right. Is Sister Renju on, I'll see her. I'll give her one more chance. I'm here. Oh, there she is. Okay, Sister, do you wanna pray for us before I get started? Sure. Hi, sisters. God bless you. All right, let's pray. Father, we thank you for another time of fellowship. Oh God, thank you for your presence. I missed us. Lord, you say when we gather, when we gather, you are a missed us, Father. We honor you, Holy Spirit. We honor you, Father. Thank you for your presence, I missed us. Thank you for loving us and never, never once leaving us, Father. Thank you for your faithfulness. Father, I just lift up every heart here tonight, every sister, every sister that they will connect tonight. Lord, we bind any spirits that are distracting any witchcraft on this call in the name of Jesus, any monitoring spirits, any spirit of offense, any retaliation in the name of Jesus. I bind any fear, doubt, and unbelief, Father God. I pray that you connect our hearts and tune our spirit man tonight, Lord. Help our spirit man to be tuned in so we can hear your voice. We can hear your word tonight, Father God, for each one of us. Customize it, Holy Spirit. You know how to make it sound right to each person. You know what each person needs. Thread it to their hearts, Father, into the string of their hearts that they may hear you, Father God, tonight. Thank you, Holy Spirit. I pray, Father God, God for Julie. And for each one of us, as we speak, Father God, may our words and our thoughts and our heart be in connect with you, Holy Spirit. And may we be able to bring each other together before your throne. Unite us with love that cannot be broken, Father God, your love, one heart, one mind, one accord before you. May your presence be evident on this call, Holy Spirit. Well, I pray for your peace and your love and your power upon it, Father God. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Rushalara basutu lorobokuravara. I pray for every sister, Lord. I pray for your presence over every heart. I bind every spirit of fear, doubt, and unbelief. Father, I speak over these sisters that their hearts would hear you tonight. And that God, freedom is their potion as your warriors in time, Father God, that they will rise from glory to glory and Lord, you will teach them, you will teach their hands to war with a kingdom of darkness that they may be victorious Christians and victorious sisters in an army, Father. Thank you for building this army of sisters across nations, across the nation, Father God, and binding us with a love and one mind, one faith before you that God, we may build, we may pull down strong holds and break walls apart, Father God, of the kingdom of darkness. We may pull more victory, more glory to your name. Thank you, Holy Spirit. In Jesus' name we ask and I cover these sisters with the blood of Jesus. Amen. Amen. Thanks, Renju. Appreciate that. Beautiful. So, I'm looking at your faces and because a lot of people don't have their cameras on but those of you that I can see below, I know that you've been on a journey of healing and deliverance for some time now. And where you started does not look like where you are today. One of the misconceptions that people have in their mind is that once they start deliverance, then everything will change in my life suddenly and I'll get back to my life as usual. And that's really not how it works. And so those of you who've been on the journey a little while, you know that's not how it works. But there's a lot of people new to the journey. And when I thought about, when I meet with somebody in my office and they for the very first time get deliverance from spirits, I tell them, now you have begun your spiritual recovery. You're now in spiritual recovery and it's a starting point. And you have to keep going, it's a process. And many of you have been on this road for a while and now you're realizing that, wow, maybe it's not a demon I'm dealing with but I'm dealing with a stronghold or maybe you're dealing with several strongholds, okay? And you're coming across spirits along the way and different circumstances in life will uproot them. Isn't that true? You'll come across a situation that you haven't been in for a while or you'll come across a situation that you've never been in before and all of a sudden you're feeling this anger. Like where did that come from? I haven't felt that anger since my children were small. I haven't felt that kind of anger until like, since I was a first year teacher I haven't felt that kind of anger since my first few years of marriage but the spirits will go in hiding and then you come across a new situation and that those emotions will rise up and not that all anger is demonic, it is not, it is a normal human emotion but if you're unable to control it you are unable to manage, you lose control when you get angry or you just can't stop thinking about the situation and you keep going over it and over it and you're feeling more angry and more bitter then it's quite possible that you have spirits in there and you need deliverance, okay? So we're talking about spiritual recovery and so in the beginning, so I went through it twice. In the very beginning, like 13, 14 years ago when I first met Mike, I didn't know, I was so, I didn't know that a Christian could have an evil spirit in their body, I had no idea and so, and I had no idea that so many of my physical ailments were caused by spirits. I had no idea until I started going through deliverance week after week and things started to improve in my life. I used to feel very like lightheaded, I would get up quickly and I would feel lightheaded and dizzy and kind of black out, you know what I mean? That would happen to me a lot. I would move my head quickly and I would get dizzy. I thought that was just normal or I thought maybe I was dehydrated or maybe I didn't eat enough or didn't sleep enough. I was always explaining it away but after I went through a measure of deliverance in those early days, that sensation went away and I no longer got dizzy when I moved quickly and so that was something that resolved quite quickly in the beginning. I still had a lot of fear. Fear was my major, I don't know, I'd say a network of spirits and witchcraft was also, I didn't realize how much of my life was affected by spirits of witchcraft in the beginning and migraine headaches, the dizziness, the foggy headedness, it was all related, for me it was related to witchcraft and so when those spirits came out or a measure of them, I started to get a lot of relief. One big thing in the beginning is I had a curse on my life from I went to a massage therapist in Mexico, well, what I didn't realize was I was taking part of a ritual and they use sage and they use some other things that they burned. I didn't know, I mean, I was in Mexico, I'm thinking I'm just getting a massage, I've had a ton of them in America and I didn't think anything of it and the gal who was with me, she did all the translating and so I just ignorant to what I was getting involved in but I actually that practitioner placed a curse upon me and so that was causing a lot of problems in my life and I didn't know it until I showed up to the deliverance center and God used David Baldwin who just preached last Friday night, he said, what'd you do in Mexico? As I'm standing at the altar screaming my head off and I confessed to what happened and then he broke the curse. I don't remember what happened after that but my life started to change little by little. Well, I didn't stick with it, I did not fully commit my life to Christ and to all of his ways and fell back in the sin and then came back in 2019 to the deliverance center and I'm staying put now. And so what it looked like for me this time around, especially 2019, 2020, when I was going through a lot of deliverance and just trying to really recommit my life and say, I'm gonna stop sinning, I'm gonna stop having a glass of wine every night, I'm gonna stop being on the internet looking for a date, I'm gonna stop these things and I'm gonna focus on the Lord. Things started to change but I had to do a lot of work and a lot of renewing of my thought processes and one of the things that I had to do in my spiritual recovery is I had to get really quiet. So I stopped calling my friends, I stopped going to the stores, like I used to be a big shopper, I'd get bored, I would just go to Target. I would be bored, I would just go to the grocery store and buy food. I was always going someplace throughout my life, I always had a pattern of, I always worked two jobs and I was always volunteering and then I had a social life on top of that. I basically went home to sleep, eat and shower. I was in school a lot, I was taking classes so I was always going somewhere. And in starting in 2020, when I moved back to Phoenix, part of my spiritual recovery looked like staying at home. I stayed at home, I listened to sermons, I stopped watching movies and I started praying in tongues a lot. Every day I'd go for a walk and I'd pray in tongues for an hour out and I did that every day. And I would get, and on my little trail that I walked, I would get like deliverance walking on that trail while talking to the Lord and crying out to him and just asking him to cleanse me and repenting, I'm sorry Lord for this and that and whatever would come to mind, right? So, and then I was plugged into the ministry and that's a lot of the work that I was doing was learning how to help others. So for me, that's what it looked like and those early days, reading the Bible two, three times a day, I wasn't working at that time. I was walking every day, I was, I cut back on eating. I kind of had a modified fast going on. I did self deliverance almost every day. It was very intense in the beginning. And so for me, that's what the spiritual recovery looked like in the beginning. And that's where I wanted to go have the sister share tonight in the beginning, what did it look like for you? What, what did in the beginning weeks, months, years, what did your spiritual recovery look like? So I'd like to invite Jen to share first. If she would. Hey, Jen. Good evening. Oh, my deliverance, like how I got started or just what it looked like overall or? Yeah, sure. Well, so I didn't really know I needed deliverance for a long time and I was loaded with stuff, right? Like I was an alcoholic, I couldn't stay sober. I loved the Lord, but I kept backsliding. So one day, you know, I was listening to 10, 10 a.m. and I heard brother Mike. So that's how I was introduced to the center. And I went a couple of times. It was when he was over at the house of healing. I think it was like 2011. And I went like two or three times, but I was cut out. Like I didn't understand at that point how the spirits worked. So I get really scared. And then I jet like after the teaching, I'd bail. And I would, you know, I would then I found out he was online. So I didn't have to go in anymore, but I would just watch him, but it never really like now I know it was the spirits telling me, oh, you're good. You can handle this on your own. You know, I mean, I was fascinated by deliverance. I watched the teachings and everything, but it didn't really hit home for me until the spirits actually manifested and started speaking out of me. So I was praying one day and my tongue switched. Now I know it switched to demonic. And then it started speaking in English out of me. And it was telling me that I couldn't repent. I was damned. I had done too much to be forgiven. And then I needed to kill myself. Basically it was trying to tell me like that it was the Holy spirit that I was cut off that I'd been abandoned by God. So I knew in that moment that I needed deliverance big time. Like I knew it was a demon. At first, you know, the fear came over me. Oh my gosh, you know, I'm being rejected by God which is what it wanted to tell me. But I knew it was demonic. So I went in. That's when the first time I went in. So I went in and I saw Mike. And my first deliverance was phenomenal. You know, it was really great. A lot of stuff came out. But the thing is what I didn't realize that it was an ongoing process. So I think I was under the assumption that it was gonna be just all blown out of me and I was gonna go home and my life was gonna be completely different. And so I didn't understand why I kept having struggles. You know, why I kept struggling with depression. Why I was, you know, had this heaviness all the time. And I think I had reached out. I think I reached out to Mike again and said, I'm not better. What's wrong with me? You know, I know I got great deliverance. What happened? And he just sent me the miracle list. So that's really where it all started for me. And I went through, I wanna say I hit it hard. I really did hit it hard. I went probably two to three times a week for a couple of years for deliverance. And then, you know, I got involved with in personal relationships with ministers. So I got ministry, that was a real blessing. But I really, it was a journey for sure. But I think the biggest thing that I noticed was I would do really well for a while. So I would get really great deliverance and I would do really well and I would feel like a new person and then I get slammed again. And I finally, you know, it was revealed to me that I was just hitting another layer. So another layer was coming up because I was freaking out. I'm like, I feel like I've been body snatched. I was doing so great and now all this stuff is back. What did I do? Well, it was just more coming to the surface and the Lord was showing me what was there. So it was like continuously like just going and I got to the point where I was casting stuff out even when I had no manifestations in my life because I knew they were hiding. So it was a journey. I wanna say, you know, of course, maintenance is always ongoing, but I would say I hit it hard for two years. So in the ministry now, being on the other side of the desk, right? There's people coming in and they, well, I've been doing this for a month or two months. I'm discouraged, why am I not delivered? And I think when we go into it, sometimes we think it's just gonna be very quick. And of course, I tell people what you're gonna get, what you put into it, but you have to be patient. It's about so much more than just casting the demons out. It's retraining our thinking, it's renewing our mind, it's tearing the stronghold down, recognizing the lies and repentance, walking in repentance and maintaining what you get. Because if you can't do that, you're never gonna get anywhere, you're in a hamster wheel. So it was a, it's been, yeah. I was gonna say, you brought a good point up where you said, you know, you kind of felt like you got stuck and you're like, Mike, what happened? I feel like I'm going backwards and or I never got any deliverance. I feel like, you know, I'm back where I started and he sent you the miracle list. Right, so I didn't get the focus. Yeah, I didn't get that the first time I went in and I guess I was under, even though I'd watched a lot of his teachings, I think it's different when you start to go through it. And I was kind of like, what's going on? You know, I went through deliverance. Why am I still having these issues? You know, and I didn't realize, you know, well, it took me a lifetime to get loaded up. It's gonna take a minute to get them all out, right? So that was like a, you know, once I started realizing, okay, this is gonna take me a while and made a commitment to just stay faithful to doing it. Then it went good, you know, of course, the Lord was always still showing, he'll show me things that I thought I got delivered from. You know, I'll get irritated or be in traffic and I'll yell at the car in front of me and I'm like, oh no, something's still there. Something is still there. So he has a way of putting you in situations where that will be brought out. And, you know, you get it out. You get help if you need help or prayer or you do it yourself. But it's been a journey for sure. Jen, do you ever, when you see things manifesting, did you ever get down on yourself or beat yourself up because you were manifesting again? Yes. So I think this, and here's a good segue into tearing down the stronghold. For years, I kept trying to cast that stupid rejection demon out. I went after that thing. I don't know, probably 800 times thinking, you know, why is it still there? Why am I still having these kinds of struggles? Why am I still having these weird thoughts, right? And finally, you know, finally, I realized that I wasn't coming out of agreement with a lot of the lies that had been implanted in my brain since I was probably, you know, like a child, a toddler, things that have just been pumped into my brain, I didn't even realize were lies. So coming out of agreement with all that has been, I want to say deliverance is the easy part. Getting the demons out is the easy part. It's coming out of agreement and retraining your thoughts and catching the lies, right? Even things that we never even knew that we were in agreement with. That kind of has been the slower part because it's revealed over time. I don't think God ever dumps everything on a person all at once. It's one lie at a time, a little bit here, a little bit there. Taking the territory back from the enemy. And it is, it's a journey and I know a lot of people get very discouraged and sometimes overwhelmed thinking, oh my gosh, I've been doing this forever. How long is it gonna take? But if you're vigilant and you're committed and sincere, then you'll get there. It's like the wilderness journey, right? So we're all in it. You gotta go through there to get to the promised land. And the quicker we can get our thoughts in order and the quicker we'll get through it. But for me, my biggest struggle is coming out of agreement with negative thoughts, catching them to begin with and just un-tangling the lies that have been part of my thinking since I was a toddler. I mean, the rejection spirit came in when I was very young and it hammered me my whole life. I mean, really hammered me. And yeah, so it's, I think it'll be a journey, it's sanctification, coming out of agreement. So I think that for all of the people out there that might be discouraged, don't be. It's a process and the Lord takes us through it. We lean on him and he takes us through it in our time, everybody's different. We can't compare our deliverance to anybody else's. If you're sincere, and you have a heart to want freedom and you really put your trust in the Lord, he'll lead you through it and help you at your own pace. Everybody's different. We can't rush through anything or else. It's not gonna take, we have to do it with God at our own pace, what he takes us through it, what he reveals to us in time. Because he's not gonna overwhelm us or burden us like that. That's been my experience. He deals with things one thing at a time, so. Yeah, that's right. I used to call up the spotlight. My first thought to say, I wasn't aware that I was gossiping, so much complaining and talking about other people and complaining about other people. And then all of a sudden I kept recognizing, oh my gosh, I'm complaining right now. Oh my gosh, I'm complaining about that person. And I likened it to like a big mag life that the police officer shines in your face at night when he says, driver's license and registration, please. God puts a spotlight on that thing he wants you to work on. Exactly, that's exactly true. And it's never too much, like in my experience. And when I started deliverance, I had all kinds of stuff. I mean, addiction and alcohol and rejection and self-hate and depression. I was mentally ill, I was diagnosed with mental illness. So it was not an overnight thing. It was one thing at a time that was dealt with and he still shows me things. Of course, a lot of the major stuff, like the depression's gone, that was the biggest one. That was the most relief. Once I got that thing out, that addiction, all the addictions gone, right? The alcohol gone, all of that. Things really started to come into more focus for me. Cause I didn't realize how much the alcohol was really influencing my mental illness. So once I got sober, a lot of the depression lifted just from being sober, but I still did get the deliverance from that. But over time, it was like one thing at a time that the Lord would deal with me about. So it was like too much. So let me ask you this question. Did you have a period of time where all you did was focus on deliverance or did you continue to live your life? Like, did you continue to work? And I know you have a daughter. Oh yeah, I would. You have a daughter, right? Yeah. Yeah, you know, I've been a relationship for like 28 years now. I've been a single mom. So I never really had a chance to just quit everything and focus on one thing. I was always working. You know, I was a high functioning alcoholic. You know, I was never out of work because of that. I lost everything else, but I worked through everything. You know, I had to maintain a life, a home, a house, you know, things like that. So with my deliverance, you know, I did focus on my deliverance, but I still was living life. You know, I was still able to, it wasn't like an obsession. You know, it was like a few times a week and that I would do that and then self deliverance too. I did a lot of self deliverance, but you know, it was in addition to everything else, church and Bible study. Like I was really trying to get my walk with God going. So I didn't just do deliverance. Like I was like studying the word. I was in fellowship. And I mean, I was a recluse for a decade. I had no friends. I had barely left my house except to go to work. So the Lord was taking me through a lot. You know, he put me with a lot of sisters. I'd made a lot of friends. So I had a support system. So I had a life that he was building in addition to the deliverance. Like he was building a life for me, a Christian life, right? Like walking and you know, walking in unity with other sisters and Bible study group, church and of course the deliverance center and what was going on there. So I had all these, it's like I had a whole new life. And the more delivered I got, the better it got. You know, now I'm in ministry and the Lord's using me and this ministry. So he's changed my life. If you would have seen where I was, you know even five years ago, you would have been really surprised probably it was a different, yeah. 100% different life. So he's good. Jen didn't mention, but she runs a prayer group once a month and she had quite a large showing last Saturday. So God has brought a lot of friends, a lot of good relationships and people trust her and they liked her and she has a different life now. A different life. Praise the Lord. It's all for him, all for his glory. He did it all. It is his glory, yeah, for sure. So yeah, I'm grateful. I'm grateful to be where I am now. And of course I'm still a work in progress. I'm still working every day, you know to try to keep going and get rid of the lies because it took a lifetime to pile them up in my brain and it's gonna take a while to get them all out. But definitely in a different place than I started. 100% different. Amen. And that's what we should expect. So when you're going through deliverance, right now you might not have the restoration that Jen testified about, but that's what you can expect because the Bible says God came to give us life and life in abundance. And when you think about what is that life? That's a life of love, peace, joy, patience, right? Humility or meekness, self-control, kindness, you know, the fruit of the spirit. You can think about it that way. Like that's what he wants to give you an abundance of. And when you have an abundance of peace and joy, there's nothing that can stop you. You're gonna do great things. And it doesn't mean everybody is called to be a deliverance minister, although we are all called like the signs that follow believers, right? So if you're someplace and someone needs deliverance, you now know what to do. It doesn't mean you need to open your own ministry. You are the ministry wherever you go, right? If you're in a church or you have a friend who's struggling, you know how to pray for them. You know how to administer deliverance to them if that's what they need and God directs you and it's the right time, right? So, and not everybody's called to teach. Not everybody's called to be a pastor or not everybody's called to work, you know, in the different ministries that the Bible talks about, but we all have some calling. I mean, that's why we're here. We're ambassadors of Christ, right? We're His representatives. We're trying to work to get as many people into the kingdom before this life passes away and it will. This is only temporary and then we'll live our real life in eternity, which is kind of hard to understand, but that's really what's gonna happen. And so, but there's nothing wrong with living life now and thriving. Some of you have talents and desires and maybe it's not right now that you are to fulfill them. Maybe you have to go through some deliverance a little bit more to get your head clear, right? Maybe you need to go through some more deliverance to get your body healed before you can start to move in that direction, but ultimately God wants you to live an abundant, fruitful life, fruitful life, wherever you live your life, whether it's in the business world or an education or as a stay-at-home mom or you're in the community working or whatever capacity it is, God wants you to be His ambassador, okay? And so I know that I've been called the ministry. I know that because I heard it audibly. I can't get away from it. I think I've always known it, but I wanted certain things in my life. I wasn't ready to die to myself, so I ran away from it. And now I know. I know that I know this is what I'm doing and whatever form that takes. Okay, God is, He's a good father and He's taken care of me. So that's a blessing. But so I'm hoping this is helpful. So Renju, are you on sister still? Yes. Yes, great. Hey, could you share with us? In the beginning when you first, you had your first deliverance, maybe share a little bit like what was your major struggle? And then when you first time you got deliverance, what would your life like the first few months after that? Okay, let me see how I can go that short. I struggled a lot with depression and fear. So I even went to the point where I was slightly suicidal. I would think a lot of thoughts like that. I'm done with life, I'm stuck, I can't move over and nothing will ever change. My life is just a mess and just feel stuck in that position. So I had come through be in health long time ago. That was the first ministry that I encountered some deliverance. That was in 2014, but I didn't keep and track with it because I wasn't close to any deliverance ministry. So, and they were far off in Georgia and I was in North Carolina. I didn't know how to stay in touch. So I kind of fell out of it and went back into those thought patterns and just depression started seeping back in and just the negative thought style. And just to mention that I am a first believer from my background. I was the first born again from my family. I come from an Indian background, though my parents were Christian generations, I think before were Hindus. And then I grew up in Africa. So these two combinations are quite an interesting combination background, generational wise. So I didn't quite know I got saved at 17 and I didn't quite know that I had spirits because of that, you know, generationally and I never really knew how to catch my thoughts renew my mind. I would just go into negative thought patterns, automatically and not catch them and not realize that this was not honoring. So when I fell out from being held and went back into that thought presence, it was in 2019 that I had Googled Hardcore Christianity at Google Deliverance Center and Deliverance Ministries and I found Hardcore Christianity. But I was always so skeptical of things, churches and stuff. So I didn't go right away. And then my sister, because I kept hitting depression, my sister Googled and found the same place and suggested that I go try it out. And I said, okay, so one day in 2019 and November of Friday night, I walked into Deliverance Center and I sat behind like I normally do. And I didn't go to the front. It was brother Mike teaching on familiar spirits. And I thought, wow, I never hear this in church. Never heard a sermon on a teaching on familiar spirits. Didn't even know there was a thing like that. Okay, this is interesting. So it intrigued me because when I checked him out, counselor and then the topics he was teaching I never ever heard them anywhere. And then I was going to leave when Kelly Beck came over to me and asked me if I need prayer. And I said, sure, but I don't know where to start. So she asked me to start for my childhood and I started and bam, she started praying for me. And I was in Deliverance for about an hour and a half or so, I don't know how long she was with me. And that day I walked out and I literally felt different. I knew that somethings had come off of me and I felt revived, you know, one of the things that got me was I didn't understand like Jen that I had spirits. I did come across being held before but it didn't dawn on me that they were literally in me and could be coming back and all of that stuff. So that day when I got relieved, I began to experience a little bit more of hope, joy, answers to questions that I had been wandering around for a long time wondering why is it like this, Lord, I've been a born again for so long. You know, how come I'm struggling with these things? How come I can never really get through? Why am I so defeated all the time? And I got a lot of answers to a lot of questions that I was in, you know, struggling with and that gave me a peace and a joy that I never had for a while, at least as a Christian. And then I began to, one of the things brother Mike taught was the importance of praying in tongues. So I had put that on the shelf for a while and never really picked it up. I didn't really practice it. And I took it back up and started running with it. Like every day I would go into praying in tongues. I started maybe about 10 minutes because I used to, I was working then 20 minutes then it was 30 minutes then sometimes an hour and sometimes that even gone to two hours and my life drastically changed when I started praying in tongues. I was able to catch some things that I never caught and I was able to not react like I used to react. I was able to see things and perceive things differently. I was able to hear the Holy spirit a little bit more. I was able to calm my emotions a little bit more and I noticed that whenever I don't pray in tongues as much I tend to fall back a little bit on my emotional side and not catch certain things. So it's really helped me and I think that's where, I don't know if I'm answering all the questions you wanted, but I think from where I started to where I'm still a working progress and there's still fears and battles with fear but I think I've faced it a little bit more differently now than when I first started or before deliverance. I actually recognize I'm dealing with a spiritual war, a warfare, a spirit and deal with it a little differently and it's really helped me come through some real big huddles. Am I on point or? No, that's good. I love that you talked about your experience with praying in tongues and how that made a huge difference in your life. And that's one of the things that we have to incorporate while we're going through our spiritual recovery, we have to do that more than ever. More than you pray in English, you need to pray in tongues because when you're going through this major overhaul of deliverance, I call it a dumpster deliverance and you're going through that, you don't know what to pray, you don't know what to say and your mind isn't working right. And so if you pray in tongues, your spirit will pray the perfect prayer. It'll be on point every time and it bypasses your emotions and it works 100% of the time. I know when I was going through walking every day and praying in tongues for quite a long time, I would get these thoughts in my mind, that doesn't mean anything, you're not doing it right. This isn't working, you should quit. And I would just have to say shut up devil. And I would feel foolish sometimes because I would have the thought, what if I am just babbling? What if this is nothing? And then I had to make a decision and say, I don't care. Maybe it is, I'm gonna do it anyway. I don't care, I'm just gonna keep pressing on. And I'll tell you what, I've had a cold the last week and I haven't been able to pray in tongues and I have missed it. And so yesterday was my first day that I could take a walk again and pray, not that I don't pray in my house, but that's where I'd like to do it. And I was like, oh, I missed you. And it really, the enemy wants to steal that from us, right? Whether it's a cold sore throat or difficult relationships in our home or with coworkers, he wants to steal our prayer language. He wants to steal our praise and our worship. So, yeah, no, that's good, Renju. And so, Renju, did you stop some activities in your life when you were going through the beginning of stages? Not exactly. I was working and so I had a full-time job and I just spent a lot more time than I normally did in prayer. I did some self-deliverance myself. I read a lot. I really spend time looking, pigs in the parlor, the books that were in the bookstore. I spent a lot of time reading because I'm a reader. So I read a lot in between. And then when God gave me a break with work I spent a lot of time doing self-deliverance for a little time period. And then I took breaks, it wasn't like Jen, eventually it was like two or three times a week, not over-concentrating. I did realize you can get overboard with it and just be super saturated only on deliverance. But that's not the only thing that is in the word. I mean, it's one-third, but it's not a full diet. So you can overboard on anything. So I learned how to get a balance to it. And I still got attacks with depression and negative thoughts, but again, I was realizing slowly and steadily that these are spirits and I need to attack them that way. So I still sometimes fall into it, get back up, repent, get back up and get going. So it's a daily thing. It's a journey. And I'm learning that you can't run ahead, just enjoy the journey with the Lord. He takes a step by step and he is in the details of our lives. So I think that he knows every detail, he knows every page of the book of our lives, our lives are numbered, our days are numbered. And he knows what every single day he wants how he's leading us. And we just have to relax and know he's got us. Amen. That's right. Amen. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. So we'll take a break right now. Does anyone have any questions? All right. Yeah, so you can forgive him, meaning, you know what? I'm wiping the state clean. I'm not going to hold that against you, but that doesn't mean I have to trust you. Right. And remember, the Bible tells us to be as wise as circumstance, but gentle as a dove. That also tells us to guard your heart. Yeah. And so when there's someone in your life who is emotionally hurtful, emotionally causing harm, you have to guard your heart. And just because they apologize, you know, they go through the cycle of apology and hurt, apology and hurt, you have to get a clue and say, okay, I have to stop bringing that person into my heart. I have to draw a boundary. And so your dad, you can be respectful to him, but you don't have to allow him into your heart. Yeah. Emotion, right? Yeah. It sounds like he's maybe incapable of loving you. Because of his spirit, his, you know, his issues, but you can forgive him and say, well, I know those are demons causing him to act that way and it's causing me hurt and harm, but I can forgive him because I know it's not him. No person, you know, without the influence of demonic spirits want to hurt another human. Yeah. We don't, we don't. And so it's always that influence. And then of course we agree with those spirits and then we end up hurting others, but it's a lot easier to forgive somebody when you realize they have help. They have help to hurt you. But you can honor your dad by being respectful, right? Yeah. I love dad, happy birthday. I hope you have a great day. Goodbye. You know, it doesn't mean you have to, you know, spend an hour with them, but you show respect and you show honor in that way. And then you move on. Yeah. You'll figure that part out. Yeah. So, and I think it also talks about, you know, sometimes we have to apologize. I know many of us have talked to our parents and said, you know what? I just want to apologize for being such a crappy teenager. He wasn't, he left my mom when I was five. So he was not in my life. He was in a round. So, you know, maybe you're, well, what I'm saying is sometimes we have to apologize to our parents for dishonoring them. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's a lot, what that's talking about when it talks about your parents, honoring your parents, you know, a restitution, meaning, you know, call them up, get apologized to them for talking back, for lying, for, you know, I had to call my mom, I don't know, it was a long time ago that I did it, but, and just said, you know what? I was really argumentative teenager and difficult to get along with. I just want to acknowledge that on my part. And I always say, mom, please forgive me. I didn't say anything about how difficult she was, but I acknowledged my part, right? And so that's what that part on the Miracle List is talking about. Okay. Thank you. I hope that helps. Yes, thank you. Is Ellen on? Who else here? She was on a second ago. Hey, Ellen, are you available? Oh, you're right in front of me. Oh my gosh, I'm looking for you. Hi, Ellen. Yeah, I'm not sure what to say. Do you want to ask me specific question? Yeah, yeah, I'll take it. I don't, I don't. So your, your life was a bit upside down before you discovered deliverance, right? Yeah. And the first time that you had a real deliverance, was it when you came to the center years ago? That's a good question. I had gotten some deliverance before going there, you know, over the phone or, yeah, on Zooms, I think, but the deliverance I got when I went there was quite significant, more, you know, more or so. And so after you came to the center and you got that major deliverance, right? Yeah. How, how was your life, how did you, what was your life like after that? My, hold on, I have to turn the heat off. Hold on. Sorry, all of a sudden, Nick, I'm really warm, probably because I'm having to talk. Yeah, it was pretty significant. I was, gosh, I was on a lot of medication before I went to the deliverance center. So I was able to get off of my medication, not just disclosure, I did not just, I did not just cold turkey my medication. So it was a process, but that definitely helped with getting off of the rest of the medication. And when I got home, I was able to like concentrate again. Like I had not been able to read. I was an avid reader when I was younger. And then when all of this upset happened, you know, like six or seven years ago, I couldn't concentrate even to watch a movie. I could hardly even sit through a movie. So when, anyway, when I got a measure of deliverance, that was one of the first things I was so excited about was that I was able to actually start reading books again, like, you know, concentrate and read through a book again. So that was really nice. So, and my sleep, you know, my sleep was really disrupted. So that started improving the pain, the chronic pain that I was in, that started improving. So yeah. Yeah. Is there anything that you deleted from your life during that time? So just, so that was like three, I guess that was about three years ago. And I think what happened actually is that I didn't make the necessary adjustments. And so then it was like three or four months after I got home, things started rapidly unraveling again. And I couldn't figure out what was happening. And so looking back on it, yeah, I didn't, I didn't, sorry, I really didn't want to do the work, you know, like I really wanted somebody else to do the work for me. So, yes, it's been a long journey. And I feel like I probably could have shortened, you know, shortened the, yeah, this adventure had I stayed on the path, if that makes sense. And so now this past year, I really got serious about getting rid of the distractions, like that scripture, what is that scripture that says, like throwing off every weight, like everything that holds us back, right? Like everything and everything that could be cause, you know, yeah, hold us down, so to speak. So that has really been my focus is, yeah, just getting rid of anything that could be a stumbling block. If I may, so I know Ellen pretty well. And one of the areas, Ellen's a very social person and she enjoys people, she loves people and she enjoys people. She likes to do things, she's active. And one of the things that has been very, very hard for her is to unplug a little bit, to slow down. So that she can really spend time with God and why am I here with Holy Spirit? That's been a very big challenge. And I can relate because when I first met Mike Smith, I met Deliverance, I too had a very busy life. And so I went through a measure of Deliverance and then I went right back into all the activity. And I didn't know what I could add back into my life and what I couldn't. And so she's talking about things that she had to delete, these distractions, these the sins that so easily entangles. And it's not like sin, like fornication or drugs or sorcery, but these little foxes that kinda grab a whole nip in our ankles that distract us. And so is that accurate, Ellen? Yes, and the other thing that just came into my mind was just learning how to be still. That's been very challenging for me because I am just such a doer by nature. Like I just, as I've mentioned when I've shared before as I was very performance driven and just always, like I always had to be doing something. And I think it was, I used a lot of this for escape so that I wouldn't have to deal with the, again, deal with the hard things, so to speak. So yes, finally, again, I think it was this past year that I finally started setting the timer on my phone for like, I think I started with five minutes and that was a huge victory for me just to be able to sit in quiet for five minutes. And it was a combination. So I would spend, I would set the timer and I would pray in tongues for five minutes and then I would sit in silence for five minutes and wait on the Holy Spirit. And so now I try to go like, I had to work my way up. So now it's like, I'm able to do like 15 minute increments now and for like, for me it's, I like to do it multiple, as opposed to like trying to cram everything in, you know, in the morning or in the evening, I try to do these little like timeouts throughout the day. And so that is helpful for me to, yeah, stay grounded. You know, I'm gonna say this, there's a handful of us who we went so far in living our own lives and the enemy stole from us so severely that we ended up losing our careers. We ended up losing our job. Some of us, and some of you ended up on disability. Some of you, you lost everything. And so when you went through the beginning stages of the deliverance, you didn't have a job. You didn't have anything. You didn't have any money. You didn't have any money to go do stuff. You had to, literally your life was stopped and you had to either focus on the Lord and get these spirits out or you were headed for the mental hospital again, okay? So some, there are a handful of people who that's their story, okay? Now, the rest of you, you're not there and I hope you never get there. And I'm gonna just say, hey, take this as a wake up. If you're playing the fence, if you're on the fence with the Lord, the enemy will come for you in a very serious way. And his goal is to take your mind and everything that you have, that's his goal for you. So you cannot play both sides, the world and Jesus. You can't play both sides. You have to be all the way in for Jesus, okay? You have to be all the way in for living for righteousness. You have to be all the way in, okay? So don't get yourself in a deception that thinks you can do both, okay? That you can live, you know, yeah, I'll, you know what? I'll go to happy hour and then on Saturday morning, I'll just go to deliverance and get the spirits out that I took in both into the box on Friday night. If you start to do stuff like that, you will end up sicker than you ever imagined, okay? You get better, maybe you got a boyfriend and you're like, yeah, you know what? We're just, you know, we're together and I don't know, we're not gonna get married, but yeah, we slipped a couple of times and you know, don't play that game. Don't play that game because you will fall. The devil will come and eat you up and then you'll end up being one of those people, you'll lose everything, you'll lose your career, you'll lose your health, you'll lose your mental capacity, you'll lose your relationships, am I right? You'll lose it, okay? So you really have to make a decision to surrender and die to yourself because if we've died with Christ, we would be raised again to new life and that's reality, that's the truth, but you might be living as if you didn't die to yourself because you still have your own hopes and dreams. Well, put those things to death and let God give you new hopes and dreams, okay? You gotta surrender them, surrender them to the Lord. All right, so I don't know who needed to hear that for somebody too. So, Ellen, was there anything else that you wanted to share? No, just nothing immediate, but just reiterating what you just said is that that's exactly what happened to me, just living that life on the fence for so many years and finally it took me down, completely took me down. So yeah, I highly recommend getting off the fence. Yes. All right. All right, Stephanie, right there, there she is. Yeah, I'm here. What do you want me to share? Yeah, just showing us like when you started going through deliverance, like hardcore deliverance, when you started going through hardcore deliverance, what are some of the things that you had to delete from your life? Well, one of them was because I had the rejection demon. When I first came to hardcore, there is an ex that I have when I was younger. He moved back to town and he said he was a Christian and he started giving me all this attention and saying that he still loved me and all of this and me because I had that rejection demon, I just wanted someone to love me and I would hear that thought all the time, I just want someone to love me. And so when he started giving me all that attention, I got like an emotional soul tie. I got involved emotionally and even though like I knew a part of me didn't wanna be married. Again, I didn't wanna get into another relationship and I wanted to serve God the rest of my life. The other part of me wanted someone to love me which was the rejection demon. Cause I didn't know that I already had all the love that I needed. And so I really needed someone to be hard on me and so I emailed brother Mike about it and he told me to drop the guy and no one ever told me that before. And sometimes you receive from a loving way and Mike can't tell me that was someone loving me enough to tell me drop the guy, focus on your deliverance and I needed to hear that from someone. So I dropped that cut off all contact and it was really hard for me. And before that, the enemy was using that you'd always send another guy, I love you, I wanna be with you, you know. And so this last time when I cut off contact and I went through a lot of deliverance after that when I got delivered from that rejection that was drawing these men in, I never had another, the enemy never sent me another guy and I never, and I was my true self where I don't wanna be with a guy, you know what I mean? I don't wanna be married again. I'm perfectly content living the rest of my life for the Lord, you know. And that was truly how I felt, but I had the demon part of me that was affecting me from doing that. Yes, amen. That's a, I had to do the same thing. Recently, I will share this, I think I understand a little bit about what it means have the Lord as your husband. And even if you're married, you can still, the Lord can still be your husband. And so I'm trying to think about what it is, looking for something. And if you've ever been married, when you need to find something, the first thing you do, you go, honey, where is, you'd ask for help. Where are, where's my keys? Where did I put my whatever, right? It's very easy. You just, you need to find something and you call out to your husband and ask for help. Well, ask the Lord. Today, I can't even remember what it was I was looking for, but I was like, oh, where is it? And then my eyes just fell right on it. And that happens a lot, little things. I was desiring, I was desiring a new, something new to wear. And I went today and got my haircut. And of all things, my hairdresser pulls out this, this like jacket shirt. She's like, this is too big for me. Do you want it? I was like, oh my gosh, I didn't even have to go shopping. And it was just like a little desire in my heart, like, I want a new thing. And today it came from very, and so that's just a small example of how God is like a husband. He's a provider and he will help you. He's a helper. He's a provider. He's an encourager. Like tonight, he's reminded me, hey, I'm a good father. And I love you. He's encouraging us. And that's what a husband is to be. And some of you have a husband who's like that, but some of you don't. So you can look to God as your husband. And he will teach you, especially those of you who are young, he will teach you what a husband is supposed to be like. I never knew. I didn't grow up with a dad in the house. My mom was single. I never knew a man's voice in the house. I never knew that. I didn't know how it was supposed to work. I didn't even know how they're supposed to act, really. And so little by little, I think the Lord is kind of showing me like, this is how a husband's supposed to act. They're helpers. They encourage. They are great dad to, you know, they love. They protect. And so anyway, I have a long way to go on this understanding. But yeah, the enemy, because of the death of my kids, oh, so many wrong men in my life. And so now I'm like, no, the Lord's gonna satisfy me. So I'm not falling for that trick anymore. And I had to delete a man too when I started to believe it. I was actually engaged to be married. And I broke the engagement to focus on the Lord and let him heal me and show me the right direction. So anyway, I'm gonna finish up now and I'm...