 Hey guys, welcome back to another vlog. I'm currently making dinner. Today was one of those days where I was just kind of like trying to get things in order and like get my life together and originally I was just planning to wait and start the vlog tomorrow, but I don't know. I was just starting dinner and Had the urge to start vlogging so here we are today. I finally unpacked the last of my stuff so I have a bunch of empty boxes now laying around that I'm gonna break down and Drop off at the recycling Probably tomorrow. I don't know if I'm gonna get to it today, but it felt good to finally put everything away I'll show you a little bit of how it's looking so far, but for dinner tonight I am making like a one pot kind of thing I've made it a few times in the past. It's so easy and it tastes delicious And I can make like large quantities of it and so then it lasts me for a few days, which is Ideal we got onion garlic carrots. I'm gonna throw in some of these frozen green peas Some broccoli we have chicken breasts, and I'm basically just gonna throw all of that into a pot With actually this recipe calls for chicken broth. I got stock on accidents, but it should work I could always add some water to this if I need to I'm just letting this chicken cook probably has like another minute left Till it's all the way cooked through no more pink Then we're gonna just dump everything in there all of our vegetables rice Chicken stock and then let it cook for like 15 to 20 minutes, and then it'll be done. It's so easy Got that cooking set a timer for 15 minutes, but here's the progress that I made so far today I'm not sure about this layered rug situation This is one of those little details that I will figure out in time. I think once I get my couch in here Then I'll really figure out Exactly how I want everything to be But I cleared off the coffee table. I love this coffee table. It's from Ikea and it was only 50 bucks But it is sturdy like it's pretty heavy and the finish of it like I just feel like it Does not look like a typical Ikea coffee table. It looks so much more expensive Really really happy that I decided to get this and I love the color of it and everything Okay, and then the main thing that I did today was Put everything on this bookshelf. I need to get something else to put on this shelf I was thinking maybe just like a picture frame or something bookshelf is also from Ikea And then I put these things up here I'm not really sure sorry the lighting is weird the sun is setting right now. So it's a little intense But these two pieces are from at home and then this candle They actually sell these where I used to get my lashes done. I think one of their clients makes them But I don't have any of her information unfortunately But I'm sure you could find something like this on Etsy Then I have this other vase also from at home that I just put on this side Not sure if I want to keep that there or not This bowl is from Target and I just put my keys and stuff like that in there since it's right by the front door and Yeah, I just have all of these empty boxes now that I need to break down and get rid of I love The lighting in my bedroom this time of day like the last hour or two before the sun sets that golden hour It just looks so beautiful and dreamy in here. Oh, I love it But yeah, I think once I get all of these boxes out of here It'll definitely feel less cluttered and it'll feel more like I'm actually moved in here I can't wait to get my patio furniture to put out here So I'll have somewhere to sit Enjoy my coffee in the mornings. I really love that I have this little outdoor space Benny really likes it too. You love is going out here and it's nice because Since it's technically winter time I've noticed that the bugs haven't been bad. Oh, there's my timer So I've been able to just leave the patio doors open throughout the day And no bugs have been coming in and that way Benny can just come and go as he pleases And it's been nice too to just get some air circulation in here I think for the summer months, I'll probably get like a magnetic screen door We had that at the house that I was living in before and it was really convenient because Then we could just leave the door open and Betty could just come and go as he wanted But we didn't have to worry about bugs getting in so probably get one of those So yeah, I've just been leaving them open. It's been really nice What's wrong? Are you getting hungry? I'll give you a little bit of my chicken and rice But you just got to wait a couple more minutes, okay? Yeah delicious Benny's gonna get a little bit too. I mixed it in with some of his dog food I'm gonna eat this and maybe watch some vlogmas videos So many people that I follow have been doing vlogmas this year And because things have been so hectic for me the last few days with moving. I'm really behind So I'm gonna get caught up on some of those while I eat and then I will take Benny for a walk Good morning I I'm getting ready to head out really quick. I just wanted to make a quick Walmart run, which It's amazing that I can even say that now because Where I was living before it would take me like close to 20 minutes pretty much to get anywhere And we didn't even have that many options anyway Like we were pretty limited in the stores that we had which here there's pretty much everything which is Amazing, but I'm also so much closer to all of the stores So if I need to just run out to get groceries or just get something real quick from Walmart or whatever I can literally just go takes me a couple minutes And then I can come right back and it doesn't have to be like this whole Long extravagance I mostly just want a coffee maker Just like a small little basic one because the only thing I have right now to make coffee is my nespresso Which I love so much But You know you can only make one cup of coffee at a time and sometimes I like to drink multiple cups per day And it gets kind of expensive and I feel wasteful like having to use a pot every time And I also need to get some spices the only thing I have is salt other than that I have zero spices at all whatsoever And what else oh, I need olive oil I think that's it. I have a list on my phone And then when I get back I'm going to have some breakfast take my time Enjoy my morning And then I'm going to figure out something with this hair Do my makeup and all that so I can film a sit-down video because I do have a sponsored video that I need to submit For approval by the end of this week. This is actually my first time going out anywhere Completely by myself like even without benny and every time I go anywhere now I'm trying if it's somewhere that I've been before obviously Um, I'm trying to not use my gps So that I can really learn the area. It's pretty easy though getting around here The only thing that is tricky and that's different from where I'm from Is most streets have like multiple lanes, which is great for traffic purposes Because traffic doesn't get backed up as much But there's like concrete barriers between each side of traffic So if say you need to make a left turn you have to wait till the next light to make a u-turn On most streets, but it is nice going out in the morning because not as many people are out So I can kind of take my time and drive slow and really like Figure out where everything is and where I'm going Let's do a little Walmart haul. Shall we? So I got this little five cup coffee maker Because like I said, I just wanted something small something that won't take up too much counter space So cute. I had one very very similar in my college dorm room And it's just reminding me of those days. I also got a bag of onions randomly got a bag of chicken nuggets I was thinking I could just make pasta with like a meat sauce So I got the ground turkey for that and then I got some pasta just some regular plain ziti and then some bonza Chickpea pasta and then I got some pasta sauce to go with that I also got this box of banana bread mix I used to love this stuff My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up and I used to make this a lot in college whenever I was just feeling kind of homesick or Like I needed some kind of like comfort food kind of thing Then I got some olive oil Some grated parmesan and romano cheese. Then I got some italian breadcrumbs. Oh my god. These are So good. If you like chai tea lattes or like dirty chais This is like the exact same stuff. I'm pretty sure that they use at starbucks It's so good But depending on where you get it can be kind of expensive But they have them at walmart for like two something then I got some all-purpose flour some espresso Regular coffee and then I just got a whole bunch of different seasonings Italian seasoning garlic powder chili powder onion powder Ground cinnamon ground cumin cayenne pepper and crushed red pepper flakes Oh, and just regular black pepper too. So now we should be good Those are the things that I feel like I use the most often I'm just gonna wash everything and then I'm just gonna run maybe one or two full pots through of just water first Yeah, and it definitely smells very plasticky. So I think I'm gonna do like three Full pots of water made a little egg scramble with some onion and mushrooms By the way, I got the always pan I think that's what it's called from our place But everybody raves about everyone in their videos has And I don't know. I was like, is it actually worth it? But they were doing a black friday sale It's worth it. It's pricey, but it is worth it. It's a really nice good size. It comes with a little wooden spoon and a steamer basket And it's just like multi-purpose which is really great and it's non-stick And it just feels like really really good quality. It also just like looks aesthetically pleasing too They have a bunch of different colors and I just toast it up Some bread when my family was here last week We went to karabas and they gave us a bunch of extra bread to take home so I just toasted that up in the air fryer because I don't have a toaster breakfast is served Just finished filming my video now. I'm importing all of the footage I'm gonna work on editing that video a little bit. I want to have it done Hopefully by tonight so that way I can just send it over whenever you're doing a sponsored thing You can't just like post it right away. You normally have to send it to the brand first for approval It's dinner time. I was just going to heat up more of that leftover rice that I made last night, but I had it for lunch and I kind of want something different. I'm actually in the mood to cook Which doesn't only happen often. I think that like I just like my kitchen here and I actually have counter space and room To cook and having a dishwasher just makes like cleaning up a lot easier I'm just going to make the meat sauce with pasta And I have some cut up onion from earlier So I'm literally just going to throw this in the pan with some olive oil Cook up the ground turkey. I'm going to cut up some mushrooms too and throw that in there Just to add in some extra veggies. I'm also going to do some garlic Season that with salt and pepper And then I have some pre-made sauce So then I'll just throw this in on top of the meat once it's done cooking And just put that over some pasta and call it a day Nice and easy and then I think for dessert. I am going to make that banana bread took Benny for his last walk of the night Dinner was so good. And now I have the banana bread baking in the oven It has to bake for about an hour. So In the meantime, I'm going to take off my makeup Get ready for bed. I think I might take a bath actually. I have been Waiting to take a bath pretty much since I knew I was moving into this apartment and that it had a bathtub because I haven't had a tub In a few years now The last few places I lived in just had like shower stalls And when I was at the mall Christmas shopping a few weeks ago I stopped until lunch and I got myself my first bath bomb And I've always wanted to try one because they just look so pretty but I wanted to Chat a little bit because this has just been on my mind so much the last few days and just now when I was Walking Benny. I saw a couple pull up to their apartment I'm just using coconut oil by the way to melt my makeup off. But anyway, like I was saying Yeah, I saw this couple pull up and for a second I kind of Felt sad and I don't know. I feel like The last time that I was single I was excited about it this time around. I've just been kind of feeling like wow I miss being in a relationship and I'm just surprised that I feel this way I'm naturally like a really independent person and I never considered myself one of those people that Felt like I needed to be in a relationship and it's just weird now like for the first time ever legitimately feeling like that longingness for a relationship, but I think honestly What I miss about being in a relationship is just The comfort of always having somebody there and I think I'm especially feeling it now like Had I stayed in my hometown like if me and my boyfriend broke up But I still stayed in the same town. I probably wouldn't be feeling this way or at least not as strongly I think now being somewhere on my own I'm just missing like that companionship and just the comfort and the easiness of Always having somebody there and like oh if I want to go out exploring or I want to go do something I mean, it's nice and at least I have Benny, but you know, it's tricky Doing things on your own, especially if you're a more introverted person like I am I'm pretty good at faking being extroverted I feel like but deep down I'm very introverted and I can get social anxiety and It's hard for me sometimes to go out and be around people and Converse with strangers. It's not natural for me. I very much have to force myself and fake it I don't know. I think being here. I keep thinking like it would just be so much more convenient to Have somebody here like have somebody that could Help me take Benny out So I don't have to always do it by myself or if I like get a heavy package having somebody that could carry it for me Or to go grocery shopping with or someone who can help me carry the groceries inside But then I think to myself like wait. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're an independent strong-ass woman You can take care of yourself. You don't need somebody and I think that I know sometimes we get into relationships And we just become codependent and usually not intentionally It just kind of naturally happens and even for someone like me who is naturally very independent I feel like that still ends up happening. I just keep reminding myself of All of the benefits of being single and I also keep reminding myself that this isn't going to be forever You know one day. Hopefully I will meet somebody that will be my forever partner I'll probably miss these times right now being on my own and just being able to do whatever the hell I want decorate however I want Leave my stuff around if I want to not have to pick up after somebody else and of course being in a relationship is great But there are a lot of benefits to being single too And I think if you just look at it that way as like this isn't going to be forever And I should embrace it and enjoy it now while I can it'll make you appreciate it a lot more I also remind myself too like When I was in my past two serious relationships I got to a point where I was really unhappy and even though I was technically in a relationship and I had a partner I felt very much alone and I just felt like I would be better off Just being single and living by myself. So that's the other thing that I remind myself too like Yes, being in a relationship is great But I don't want to just be in a relationship if I'm going to be in one I want it to be with the right person. I don't want to rush that. I don't want to force it just trying to be content and Get used to being single again, and I think this time It's just harder because I am on my own And I don't have my friends around me to keep me distracted, but it's good, you know I I enjoy my own company. This is a really exciting time of my life So just wanted to check in and share my thoughts. Hopefully that's relatable, but I'm going to do this lenez waterbank soothing gel mask While I'm in the tub Why not? It's a little sheet mask. I have no idea Where I got this from or when Of these new updates in our podcast like we do every Monday night Shout out to crime weekly by the way if you haven't checked out our podcast yet the link is in the description I was not even planning on being on camera right now. I was just gonna have my breakfast I was about to watch the new sex in the city series because the new episode came out today I wanted to talk to you because I mentioned in my last vlog that I went out with my brother last Saturday And I drank way way way way too much and I was Very badly hungover and this whole week so far I have still just felt off And I kept thinking like oh my god. This just must be like lingering effects from that hangover. Like I can't believe that it's I can't believe that it's still affecting me days later. Like what the hell is this? It doesn't make any sense I don't know just throughout the day. Like I'll get a headache or my body will just kind of feel like weak My stomach will feel weak. I'll like kind of get a stomach ache or I'll feel kind of nauseous But it's not like a constant feeling. It just kind of like Keeps happening throughout the day. Literally as I was making my coffee just now. I realized holy shit This is anxiety that I'm feeling now that I understand it a little bit better And I know how it presents itself For me in my body. I've realized that I've literally had it since I was a little kid like for as long as I can remember I've felt anxiety and not just like anxiety like oh I feel really anxious To do something where I feel stressed or whatever like anxiety where your everything is fine You're literally just sitting there and all of a sudden this feeling just comes over you and it's like a physical takeover and it's for no reason and You can't really do anything about it. You just have to kind of let it pass all of a sudden Like I just feel very constricted like I feel all this tightness and this pressure like in my neck my throat like in the back of my head um sometimes like I will start kind of shaking a little bit or like my hands will kind of feel numb I just feel like my heart is racing and I mean it makes sense I get why I would be feeling it now But it's just interesting how like the logical part of my brain feels fine I've actually been feeling very comfortable here. I feel very happy and I'm like You know, obviously I need some time to adjust still it's still my first week But I feel good about my decision to move here, but it's interesting how like your subconscious The anxiety is like Whoa This like there's different things happening. What's going on? And so it just flares up and goes crazy and all of those physical symptoms that I've been feeling these last few days I'm now realizing Are my anxiety. So Now that I know that I'm going to make a conscious effort to Do something about it. I'm gonna really try to just relax be calm Luckily today, I don't think I have too much that I need to do I need to get rid of these boxes still, but I already broke them down. So that will be easy I was just texting with a friend I have that lives here. I don't really know Anyone here like super well or have like really close friends But I do know one person that lives here She actually worked at the salon as a receptionist for a little while And she has a dog that is very close in age with benny They're similar breeds too. So they look very similar. I think they're like the same size So I'm meeting up with her later this afternoon at a dog park So that'll be nice and I feel like that'll be really good for my anxiety like Just being around somebody that I know and just getting to talk and be outside So that's the plan but right now I am going to finally get rid of these cardboard boxes once and for all All right, let's do this Just got home a few minutes ago. There were so many dogs there and It's funny when we first walked in benny was like really scared and he kept jumping up on me and I like his tail between his legs But he warmed up real quick and he had the time of his life and now he's just exhausted Anyone want to go on the balcony? filthy too, so I am going to make myself some dinner and then hop in the shower Bring benny in there with me because he needs a bath. I am not letting him get in my white sheets The way he looks right now because the whole dog park was sand I am feeling a lot better as far as my anxiety goes Being outside and just being around other people and getting to see my friend It really helps a lot. We'll see. I'm gonna have to just keep You know working on it and finding things to do to distract myself and stay busy and luckily There is a lot to do around here. There's a lot of things to do outside and the weather is so nice So I know that I'll be good. I just need a little bit of time To adjust But so far I am enjoying it here. I'm enjoying having my own space. I can't wait to continue decorating I think the next vlog will probably be like Exploring the city a little bit more and decorating the apartment some more So stay tuned for that If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. It helps my channel a lot Thank you guys so much for watching and for your support. I really appreciate it so much All the sweet comments that you've been leaving throughout this whole process has been so encouraging and The moments I have where I like I have a little bit of doubt or I feel like Homesick or overwhelmed or scared or anything like that Reading your comments and seeing you guys be like, oh my god, you're so inspiring. You're so brave Like, all right. I got this. We're just seeing that you've done something similar too. It really helps keep me going So thank you guys and I'll see you in my next video. Bye