 SCP Foundation Medical Department The SCP Foundation Medical Department has recently distributed self-test kits to all Foundation staff. Please follow these steps to use your self-test kit and then report your results to your site medical staff. 1. Attach the self-test kit monitoring pad. 2. Swallow the health tracking pill. 3. Observe your results. If you have an alien parasite, a cognitive hazard, or a physical anomaly you should not use the self-test kit. If your self-test kit shows that you are developing a sixth sense, a robotic organ, or an obsession with alien religions, please call for an emergency medical team. Thank you for your care and cooperation. These measures will ensure the Foundation is a safe and happy workplace, free of anomalous health issues and paraviruses. The SCP Foundation Medical Department