 Leverbrothers Company, the makers of Lux toilet soap, bring you the Lux Radio Theater, starring Betty Grapple and Victor Mature in Wallbass Avenue. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. William Keely. It's an unfortunate fact that occasionally we can't stop the wheels of progress. Because although we enjoy the luxury of modern invention, sometimes we long for the good old days. One way to solve this serious problem is by turning back the hands of time. Now, you might find this a little difficult, but not on the Lux Radio Theater. We'll just present the nostalgic musical from 20th Century Fox, which takes us back to the turn of the century and Wallbass Avenue. As our stars, we have that wonderful combination from the original cast, Betty Grapple and Victor Mature, who will bring to life the colorful world of a hunky tank on Chicago's Wallbass Avenue. And today, on any avenue, you see our modern girls with their lovely Lux complexions, which goes to prove that the modern miss has the advantage, after all. She can depend on Lux toilet soap for her beauty care. The curtain rises on Wallbass Avenue, starting Betty Grapple as Ruby Summers and Victor Mature as Andy Clark. In a boisterous brawling section of town known as Wallbass Avenue, one of the most popular spots is Mike Stanley's cafe. In his office, Mike Stanley has a visitor. Andy! Andy Clark! Well, come in, pal. Sit down. How are you, Mike? I'm fine. Just as pretty as ever. Only, uh, tell me something, dimples. How come you're so nervous, all of a sudden? Nervous? Who's nervous? Well, the dancer out there frisked me for a gun before he let me come in. Oh, I told him you were a friend of mine. Did he find the gun? Would you like to frisk me yourself? Andy, boy, is there any way to talk to me? You know, pal, the last I heard of you, you were playing piano for the Merrily sisters? Yeah, they fired me. They got a piano you put nickels into instead. Yeah, it's a mechanical age, all right. So I figured I'd come to Chicago, Mike, try to run you down. Turn out to be a cinch. Pretty popular place you got here. Well, let's go and have a drink. I already had one, Mike, with English Eddie. English Eddie? You better look in your pocket. He probably picked it. Oh, we wouldn't have found much, I'm broke. Oh, got any prospects? Just one. This. A deck of cards. A deck of cards. I tell you what, pal, if I hear of anybody looking for a poker dealer, I remember this deck, Mike. It's yours. Mine? Been a long time since we played cards. Not since you and me were partners in that two-bit carnival. Yeah. And remember that hotel you lived in? There was some hotel. They never cleaned anything. Oh, you're so right, Curly. That's how I happened to find these cards under the cushion of your chair. A deck of cards with seven aces. You weren't taking any chances were you, Curly? Oh, now, Andrew, you wouldn't... you wouldn't accuse me of cheating a pal. Oh, Paris, the thought, Michael. I always wanted to take all and you lost. I was at the slightest advantage. You forgot to tell me about the seven aces. Yeah, but when you find cards under a cushion, you got to find them the same night. That's the etiquette of the game, pal. Besides, I think you're imagining things. Yeah. Right now, I'm imagining, uh, how we can improve this joint. I ain't interested. A fella can get hurt trying to move in on my place. Our place, pal. Our place. You know, I'm still your partner. That means I own half your stake. You own nothing. Now take my advice and forget it. But I couldn't possibly forget it, Mike. Why? I'd be a sucker to forget it. I'd lose my self-respect. And without my self-respect, well, I'd... Well, Mike, I was just wondering if you... Oh, I didn't know you had company. That's all right, honey. He's leaving now. So long, Andy. My name's Andy Clark. How do you do? So long, Andy. What's yours? She ain't got none. That's the door over there, pal. The thing with the knob on it. Well, I know your name. Ruby. Ruby Summers. Yeah, I saw you outside on the poster. And what a costume you were wearing. Oh, now, wait a minute. I designed that costume myself. That explains it. What's wrong with it, Mr. Clark? Well, it's a question of taste, Miss Summers. And taste is something that either you have or you don't have. Now, take that horror you're wearing now. Horror? Why you overgrown wiseacre? Who makes your clothes? Or do you grow them yourself? Look, lady, I wouldn't criticize, but I happen to have a half interest in you. You've got a what in who? I'm Mike's a partner. I quit. Oh, now, honey, honey, take it easy. He's got nothing to do with this place. Andy, you shouldn't want to talk to her that way. Miss Summers picked out that dress personally. Oh, I'm so sorry. But, uh, when you pick out your new wardrobe, Miss Summers, I suggest you let me select it. I'm afraid you're not properly qualified. You missed him, honey, but it was a good try. How did he get in here? And what was that yammer about a half interest in me? Well, if I didn't have to do a number, I'd... Oh, what am I knocking myself out for? Yeah. Why should we let him bother us, huh? After all, honey, you got me, big, rich and beautiful. And I'm all yours for the asking. Shall we have supper later, Uncle Mike? There you go again, Uncle Mike. Uncle, what is this Uncle Mike business? Every time I make a pitch, I wind up being a relative. I'd still like to have supper with you. Okay. After the floor show, we'll go to the Sherman House. Thanks, Uncle Mike. Yeah, yeah, go on, do your number. Uncle Mike, yes. The boys are Kate. Katie never read a book, and she never learned to cook, but she's always got a string of fish upon her hook. When she's around... You take a third red filly, hitch her up to a milk wagon, and what have you got? Just the plug. I'll murder you. I'll tear you to pieces. A little later in the summers. Right now, English Eddie's waiting for me at the bar. So long. You don't have to tell me how Mike welcomed you. I can guess. Look, Mike and I are like brothers, Eddie. By the way, you see this ring? Uh-huh. How much dough could you get for it? A diamond, eh? Well, if I'm lucky, 300 maybe. Well, see that you're lucky, huh? What's the 300 for? We're gonna water it, Eddie, and watch it grow. A little poker game with Mike Stanley. Poker? Oh, don't you know when to stop playing poker with Mike? Look, he took the carnival away from me with seven aces. That was crude, Eddie. Real crude. Just get me that 300 bucks and watch me go to work. The standard, Eddie, you couldn't have lost. By the way, you were cheating it was impossible to lose. Impossible, Eddie, but I'm practically broke again. You know, Mike's learned too many quad tricks since I saw him last. Why, he's even a bigger crook, and I gave him credit for it. Well, I tried, Eddie. Well, and now what? Get a job. Who do I know in this town? Nobody can give you a job. Well, let's see. There's the, uh, Spiehler and Gilles Harrigan. Harrigan? Is Harrigan in Chicago? Yes. What could that old drunk do for you? Oh, nothing. I'd just like to see him. He's a great old guy. That's all. Well, watch your step at the gutters. You might stumble over him. Poor old Eric. Look, you know he want, you know he... Hey, what's going on down there? I just, the women's reform committee. They're out every night trying to clean up the town. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I want to hear what's going on. Just encourage. Are you potting? Look, I've got a little score to settle with Mike Stanley. And they've just given me an idea. Now, first we'll need a couple of girls. A girls? Well, let's send the girls again. Look, I'll need two girls to go to work tomorrow night at 8.30. Now, who's exactly what I've got in mind? Back again to night your pal, Andy Clark. Oh, don't pay any attention to him, honey. Just go out and do your number. Mike, who's that with him? Huh? Oh, it looks like English Eddie. I mean the girls. Oh, now, baby, you know I don't even look at any other girls. They're cooking up some, Mike. I can smell it from here. Come on, honey, relax. I took care of Andy Clark last night. Hey, come on. You got that Apple number coming up. Oh, yeah, my Apple number. Well, Mike... Huh? Mike, would you mind if just a tomato happened to be in my basket of apples? Just one tomato? Hey, see what you mean. I'll even get one for you. A nice, fat, ripe tomato. You've got everything clear. Andy, you and Eddie been rehearsing us all afternoon. Jenny? Don't worry, Andy. It's a cinch. Now, what about the reformers, Eddie? Just down the street. About a hundred of them. So what are we waiting for? Nothing, I guess. Only, uh, I'd sort of like to hear Miss Summer sing. No, it may be the last time we'll have that pleasure for quite a while. He hurts. Where is he? I just scared him around back. He's unconscious. Your head? Yeah. The dam's burst lads run for your life. Harrigan. Smiling the boy fell dead. He's dead, all right. Dead drunk. Come on, Eddie. We'll take him to my rooming house and get a doctor. That's the idea I ever had. You heard what the doctor said. Outside of a hangover, Harrigan will be fine. Not so loud. Now, look, all we have to do is get Harrigan out of town. Then we'll tell Mike that Harrigan died. He hid his head when Mike pushed him and died. Oh, there he goes again. Go downstairs and get a carriage. Sure, it's like a morning spring. Harrigan, it's me, Harrigan, your pal, Andy Clark. Uh-huh. Where am I like? You're in my bed. You've been here for hours now. Oh, it's terrible, Harrigan. The doctor's just left. Doctors? Who's sick? You are. But you're going to be well again. Only you've got to do just like the doctor said. Oh, I'll never take another drop, never. Not only that. Not only that, you've got to leave town. Just for a few weeks, old pal. A different climate, they said. And don't worry about money. A few weeks in New York, and you'll be a new man. I don't want to be a new man. I like me fine the way I was. It's your only chance, Harrigan. Oh, water, water. New Yorker. Well, maybe a change of saloons is just what I need. When I wish I was smiling. We haven't seen this around for a couple of days, Mike. Poor old Harrigan. Mike, what's he talking about? Poor old Harrigan. You mean you haven't heard, Miss Summer? What do you think I'm asking questions for? We, uh, we bedded him yesterday, Miss Summer. That is, we, uh, shipped the remains to New York. Oh, no. That nice old man. Harrigan. What a great old guy. Yeah, it's too bad it wasn't somebody else. No offense, Mike. Can't you even let him alone in his grief? His, uh, his heart, Andy. His head, pal. Concussion. But you've got troubles of your own, haven't you? That reformer group really wrecked this place, didn't they? Yeah? Well, we'll be back in business in two weeks, won't we, Mike? Yes, maybe we will. He's starting that we routine again. Well, I've had all of him I can take in one morning. See you later, Mike. Now, the coroner's report on Harrigan was very interesting. It, uh, it was? Pal, you look worried. Oh, I shouldn't bother you about Harrigan when your saloon's just been wrecked there. But look, pal, why even try to reopen? I guess I just love money. Then why don't we go to the world's fair? Open up a place on the Midway. We can star Ruby. And with me coaching her, we can have a great, great, great... Wait a minute. Wait a minute. There's that we business again. Well, we're partners, aren't we? Is that all you can talk about? That and the coroner's inquest. And, uh, what? You know what the cops think, Mike? They think Harrigan hit his head on the curb. Well, well, didn't he? Mike. Mike is his Andy, your old friend. I was right there when it happened. Well, and you know I only pushed him in, in self-defense. Well, the worst you could get is a charge of manslaughter. Man, it hurt. Oh, why should the case even come up? You said yourself that the cops... Well, the cops will still be thinking that if, uh... Andy, if what? If, uh, we're partners, partner. Oh. Well, you win, pal. I, uh, I better go and tell Ruby. Oh, leave Ruby to me. When the time comes, I'll tell her. Tell me what? Uh, I'll be right with you, honey. I said, tell me what? All about my legacy, Miss Summers, from Old Man Harrigan. Be seeing you, Curly. Libby Collins, our Hollywood reporter, is waiting now to bring us the Lux Radio Theater's movie news of the week. And delightful news it is, John, for everyone who enjoys sparkling, light-hearted comedy. 20th Century Fox has produced one of the merriest movies of the season in The Jackpot. Take an average American family with Jimmy Stewart and Barbara Hale as the parents of two young children. And let them win a radio quiz contest. Truckloads of fabulous prizes to send on the startle pair. A Shetland pony, a swimming pool, and a three-year supply of frozen food to mention just a few. Jimmy, as the unlucky recipient, finds he has to reckon with the tax collectors. And not only that, but his home life is disrupted besides. Sounds like a wonderful setup for laps. Oh, it is. The jackpot is full of them. The plot thickens when Barbara Hale suspects her husband of falling in love with a pretty artist. As if the poor girl wasn't already confused enough trying to fit all those fantastic prizes into her home. No, if they'd only send her something a woman would want, like a case of lux toilet soap. Yes, John. Any housewife would consider that a real prize. Especially if it was lux soap in the luxurious new bath size. I know Barbara has lux toilet soap in her own home. She uses it for her lovely complexion and for her beauty bath, too. Screen stars are delighted with that satin smooth bath cake. It gives such rich abundant lather, even in hardest water. Active lather that leaves you feeling so refreshed. And the perfume, John. Women love the delicate fragrance a lux soap beauty bath leaves on the skin. It's an exclusive perfume, of course. A combination of many costly flower fragrances. If you haven't tried lux toilet soap in the generous new bath size, be sure to put it on your shopping list now. Enjoy the creamy lather, the delightful clinging fragrance of this luxurious bath soap. Remember, nine out of ten screen stars use lux toilet soap. Act two of Wabash Avenue, starring Betty Grable as Ruby and Victor Mature as Andy. A Irishman named Harrigan is in New York, doing his utmost to absorb the city's whiskey supply. But back in Chicago, Mike Stanley believes that Harrigan is dead. He's accepted Andy's proposition and opened the cabaret of the world's fair, where Ruby Summers is now trying to rehearse a number. Yes, Miss Summers. I don't like the way you murder that piano. And whatever the joke is, I don't like that either. You can go now. Look, you forget that I'm staging this number. And about your singing, Miss Summers. If you'll just slow it down a little and try to remember you're not on Wabash Avenue, maybe it'll sound like a ballast. And now I'll tell you something, Uncle Hiram. I don't take orders from chiseling card mechanics and horse blanket suits, who think they're great hot shots worth of brains. With nothing in fact but a ballooned-up golf and nerve of a pickpocket plus the manners of a mutt in the heart of a lost you big baboon. That, I sound like a zoo. Mike! Mike! Where's Mike Stanley? Hi, Mike. If you don't throw him out of here, I quit. Quit, huh? Go ahead. Leave me. I... I'm not worth it, honey. Mike, what kind of an act is this? I don't get it. I'm a beaten man, honey. I... I used to look up to myself. I... I was a man I was proud of. Oh, you're talking like a man who's lost his marble. I have. It's Harrigan. I never knew you were that fond of Harrigan. I wasn't. Only I didn't... didn't mean to kill him. Kill him? Shh! Who says you killed him? I ought to know if I bumped someone off or not. Oh, it was an accident, baby. I pushed him while those dames were raiding our old joint. And he says he'll tell the cops if I didn't make him a partner. Oh, I knew that guy was a snake the minute I laid eyes on him. Oh, but honey, he's a great showman. He's... he's great on numbers. Do me a favor. Let him rehearse you, huh? For my sake. All right, Uncle Mike. For your sake. Oh, thanks, honey. Mr. Clark. So just drag your big feet out of here before I... Look, will you please listen to me for just one minute? We're through rehearsing. This is opening night. In five minutes, you're supposed to go out on stage and... and... only to lead with a dress. Feathers again. Are you leaving or not? Not until those feathers come off. Oh, my... Mike's out front. He can't hear you. They've really lost it. What a singer do you want to fly? Astridge, huh? Mr. Rooster in town is going to resent that. Oh, my feathers. My beautiful feathers. How can you? Easy, baby. Easy now. Let go of me. Let go of me. Just as soon as you calm down, now calm. Maybe a kiss will quiet your nerves a little. What did you... what did you have to do that for? You kiss me as much as I kissed you. What's your idea? You enjoy slapping me, don't you? If you so much as touch me again, I'll blow your head off. And if I hang for it, I'll hang happy. You know, I wonder if you'll ever admit it when you find out you're wrong. Now, fix your makeup up and get up on stage. Hey, Maestro. Orchestra ready? Already, Andy. Tell the piano player I'm taking his place. You? That's right. Just for Ruby's number. You're the leader, but take the tempo from me. Whatever you say, Andy. I just wanted to thank you. Glad you feel that way. Excuse me, I'm... What's eating him? I'll let him throw you, honey. Hey, Andy. You got a minute? Let's step into the office. I don't want nobody around that ain't going to be nice to Ruby. Why not? Because I'm going to marry her, see? Has Ruby accepted you? Accepted me. You better get some sleep, kid. Every girl has been trying to get me to accept them since I was that high. I'm a catch, Andrew, a big catch. Sure you are, Dimples. And I think Ruby's a very lucky girl. And I want you to know I really mean it. Ain't you getting revoltingly friendly all of a sudden? Now, look. Look, we've cut up quite a few rough touches together, sure. But when it comes to marriage between you and Ruby, all bets are off. Why, I even have a present for you. Like a pint of arsenic, maybe? How? How I'm clearing out. And not only that, you can have my half of the business free. Yeah? What's the angle? No angle at all. Look, supposing Ruby and I were getting married, you'd do the same for me, wouldn't you? Well, I guess I would. Sure you would. Gee, Andy. Not many clip artists got that much sentiment. You know the trouble with you, Michael. You've been a phony for so long. You don't know a real friend when you see one. Yeah, well, if you don't stop being my best friend, I'm going to get sick to my stomach. When are you leaving? Maybe tonight. Yeah, right after I congratulate Ruby. Oh, no, next. Next, I haven't finished making a pitch. I'm going to give her the ring tonight. Well, in that case, I'll take you both out for supper. Yeah, that swelled place just off the middle. Oh, no, Andy, no. The least you could do is let me take you two out for supper. Well, well, OK, I guess. Only who's going to pay for it? Champagne and everything. Some supper, huh, Tanny? I don't get it. All of a sudden, good cheer between you and me. Well, Mike and I have a couple of good reasons to be happy. That's all, Ruby. Yeah? When does the blood start running in the street? No, seriously. But one, Oscar Hammerstein was in our place tonight listening to you sing. I'm Joe. I'm Josh. I'm Lo. I'm Max. You really needn't tell me who is who. The old phenomenon. He wants to take you walking down the avenue. You're more your Max. I'm Lo. I'm Lo. Jim, you've mentioned that. And they don't mind telling me I'm getting a bit weary of the words. Yeah, but I know you're dead. You've been dead for weeks. They sent the remains to New York. That's for the way I feel. Where's Andy? Andy and Eddie. Harrigan. Harrigan, you're not a ghost. You're alive. I am. Oh, you're the most beautiful stiff I ever saw. Sit down. Sit down. Harrigan, park the corpse. Now, where have you been? You're being very polite to an old bum. But I don't forget, Michael Stanley, that you give me a punch in the snoot back there in Wabush Avenue. Oh, but I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident, Harrigan. I'm a nice guy. I'm an awful nice guy. A nice guy would offer me a drink. I got a half a cell full of Irish whiskey. Only first you got to tell me what happened. Where, Mike? It seems my health was failing. And Andy, the dear lad, figured that if I went to New York... Keep on going, Harrigan. Tell me that beautiful story. And I'm looking for Mr. Clark. So am I. I've been looking for him for over an hour. Oh, but he'll be back. I'm sure he's just looking for a minute. You're not the minister. Oh, no, Miss Summers. My name's Carter from the Southern Illinois Bank. Perhaps you'll give Mr. Clark a message for me? From the bank, you said? Yes. He'll be glad to know we've decided to loan him the $20,000. $20,000? For his new cabaret. You, uh, you know about his new venture. Well, no, I... Oh, dear. I hope I haven't spoiled a surprise. Oh, no. No, I... I think it's wonderful. It's just that he didn't tell me. I might add, Miss Summers, that the bank considers your reputation a little better security than Mr. Clark. Well, that's very nice, but why me? Why, with you was the stellar attraction of the cabaret. Well, that's very flattering, but I've just signed a contract with Mr. Hammerstein to go to New York. You mean you won't be appearing at Mr. Clark's cafe? Uh, well, no, I... No, I can't. But only today he told us that you and he were about to get married and that you were canceling all other engagements. Oh, he did, did he? Otherwise, the bank never would have... Well, I must say, I'm very grateful for this little talk, Miss Summers. Yes. Yes, so am I. Well, here he comes now. Good evening, Mr. Clark. Oh, good evening. Hiya, sweetie. Where have you been, Andy? Oh, just trying to clear up a few things here. Railroad tickets, and we'll be in New York on the 10th. Isn't that wonderful? Is it? Andy, what were you planning to do after we get to New York? Oh, something will pop up, I guess. How about that cabaret you were going to open? Well, that went out the minute you signed with Hammerstein. You see, I, uh... How did you know about that? Was I going to sing in it? Sure, but now that you're singing for Hammerstein... Are you sure I am? Of course. Why shouldn't you? Because that Mr. Carter just said I wasn't. Carter? You guaranteed my appearance to get the bank to lend you the money. I guarantee... What were you going to do, Andy? Talk me out of going to New York? Look, I don't get this. I'm not trying to talk you out of anything. I don't even know who Carter is. Ruby, you don't believe this nonsense. What do you expect me to believe? That I'm marrying you because I love you and for no other reason. That's a lot to ask with your record, isn't it? Ruby, somebody's been selling you a lot of lies and I can prove it. Go ahead, but it better be good. Well, all I have to do is... No. No, I don't think I will. This is something that our whole future is based on. You don't think I'd pull a cheap trick like that on you, do you? You haven't told me any different, Andy. You don't trust me, is that it? Then there's no point in going on any further. Look, I'll admit my record hasn't been too good up until now, but up until now I wasn't going to marry you. Is that all you're going to say? Yeah. That's all I'm going to say. Someday you'll find out I'm not lying to you. Hey, Andy. I figured you'd be dropping by the hour. Just stand up, dimples. I'm going to smear that nose of yours all over your face. Of all the dirty, low-down tricks, have I? That's a three-time mistake. Yeah, a mistake, you know. A couple of the boys here are figuring out changing the shape of your charming noggin. I am, Mr. Clark. Should we fist him, boss? Ah, no, no. He knows when he's licked, right, pal? Just like poker, huh? You had a full house, queen high, but you lost the queen's sharpie. And guess what I got? Two jokers. One named Harrigan and another named Carter. All right, Mike, you win. You're leaving town tonight, see? And the boys here are just going to make sure you do. Okay. Just give Harrigan a break, will you? It wasn't his fault. Well, Harrigan, I like you. I hope I never see you again sometime. So long, handsome. So long, Uncle Mike. And keep off those ferris wheels. In just a few moments, we'll bring you the third act of Warbash Avenue. I've invited as our guest tonight the Miss Sheila Stevens, one of our young stage and screen actresses who, in private life, answers to the name of Mrs. Gordon McCray. Sheila, I think our audience would like to hear what it's like to be married to a popular movie star and yet have a career all your own. It seems quite natural to me, Mr. Keely. Of course, Gordon and I met and married before either of us came to Hollywood. We both worked in stock. Often, we didn't even get paid. Well, you've had quite a bit of experience in radio acting, too, haven't you? Yes. However, this is my first appearance on the Lux Radio Theater. But I listen every week. And last Monday, I was simply thrilled with your production of Rebecca. You'll be interested to know that David O. Selznick is going to re-release Rebecca in several key cities. I hope Hollywood's one of them. I thought Joan Fontaine and Laurence Olivier were wonderful in the picture. Yes, Daphne de Maulier's great story has become a classic on the screen. David O. Selznick created a tense, exciting melodrama with a perfect cast. You can't ask for a better movie fare than that. Yes. How vividly Joan Fontaine makes you feel the predicament of that young wife. Yes, from an uncertain, frightened young girl, you see her transformed into a poised and radiant beauty. Yes, indeed. Joan Fontaine has such exquisite loveliness. She's a true blonde, Mr. Kennedy, with delicate fair skin. And you have to be careful of a complexion like that. So naturally, she depends on Lux soap beauty care. Like so many other famous stars in Hollywood. That's because Lux soap is so gentle. Gives million-dollar complexions protecting care they need. That's right, Mr. Kennedy. You know, I found Lux soap gives my skin such a soft, smooth look. It's wonderful to have a beauty care that's so quick and easy, too. Thank you, Mrs. Gordon-McRae, and all our wishes for your success. Smart women everywhere find Lux soap facials give skin quick new loveliness. Keep it fresh and radiant. Active lather does the trick. Ensures gentle, thorough care. If you haven't tried these daily active lather facials, why not get some Lux toilet soap tomorrow? Remember, 9 out of 10 famous screen stars use Lux toilet soap regularly. We pause now for station identification. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. And W-D-A-N, the commercial news station in Vanville, Illinois. The curtain rises on Act 3 of Wabash Avenue starring Betty Grable as Ruby and Victor Mature as Andy. Several weeks later, and Ruby Summers and Andy Clark are both in New York. Only Ruby's uptown a new star on Broadway. Andy's down on the power, where he and Eddie have opened up a little music hall. Boy, ever since we opened up this place, you've been moping. What do you say we take the night off? Night off? Why? Well, we could go uptown and see the show. What show? The one you've been reading about. Ruby Summers opening tonight a new Hammerstein review. It's a good idea, Eddie, but we couldn't possibly get tickets. Oh, really? Well, it's been months since I've picked a pocket, but I'll show you just how easy it is. I just reach in your coat and presto. Two beautiful tickets, right in the second row. You win, Eddie. Let's go. Well, Ruby's got a great hit, huh? Anything new between you and Ruby? Oh, no, nothing definite, not yet. Well, we've been busy, you know, a lot of detail work, putting the show together and everything. Oh, sure, sure. You, uh... You ain't been backstage to say hello to her or anything. Me? Oh, I know. I hadn't even thought of it. But now that you ask... I didn't ask. Well, in that case, I think I will. After the show, maybe. Yeah, yeah. Well, excuse me, fellas. I gotta hear what them critics are talking about. Hi. You should hear them critics in the lobby, Ruby. They're raven. They love you. They're crazy about the show. And just think the second act is even better. Oh, I'm glad, Mike, and it's all you're doing. Oh, it's just that we're a lucky combination, honey. We belong together. Ah, this thing is perfect. Gee, you smell good. There's something on your mind, isn't there? I'll say there is, Ruby. Look, honey, let's make it a permanent combination, huh? I haven't asked you once, not since Chicago, but now everything's going great and you can see that we're meant to be together and, and, uh, will you, honey? I'm sorry, Uncle Mike. Still a relative, huh? There's no use kidding you or myself. I'm in love, Mike, with a cheap, conniving skunk. But I wouldn't marry him if he came crawling on his hands and knees. Gee, that's a tough spot. I can't help it. I, I guess I'm hoping someday the right guy will come along and kick him right out of my system. And I ain't the right guy. Sorry. I guess you can't help that either. Hey, yeah, I know that knock. It's the skunk. You want to see him? Sure. Sure. Tell him to come in. A skunk can't really hurt you. Just humiliate you. Only when he's cornered. Say, you look wonderful, Ruby. Thanks. You're looking pretty chipper yourself. How are you doing? Oh, great. I've got a big deal on Atlantic City. Yeah, he's just passing through, leaving tonight. I just thought I'd, uh, drop by and tell you how much I'm enjoying the show. The numbers are really great. I couldn't have done better myself. Hmm, coming from you, that's quite a compliment. Thanks. Well, just one skunk's opinion. Hey, hey, speaking of skunks, you remember that time we split up and you put that skunk on my side show? That show was so bad, it took the customers four minutes to get wind of it. Yeah. The way you two double cross each other and then we'll laugh about it beats me. Oh, Ruby, Ruby, that's nothing. We've pulled some beauts on each other. How about that time when the reformers wrecked your joint and I sent that phony insurance man over to see you? Oh, that was a killer. Yeah, but I still say the best one of the bunch was the day you and Ruby are going to get married. This is your wedding day and I sent that fake bank manager, Mr. Carter, to call on Ruby. You remember that one? Yeah. That was really a pip, Mike. Yeah. But the beautiful part of it is she... she believed it. She went for it hook, line and sinker. Yeah. Well, thanks a lot for trying, Curly, but you're a little too late. Five minutes, Miss Summers, second leg. I'll be ready. Andy, Andy, wait. Bye, Ruby. Lots of luck. Mike. I wasn't kidding, Ruby. That bank guy was strictly a phony. I'll bet you hate me now, you... Hey. Hey, you kissed me. Oh, Mike, thanks. Thanks for telling me. From the greatest of the show on the bar, Andy's fire in his hole, and the performance has just begun. All right, Eddie, you want to buy a ticket? That'll be exact. Hi, Ruby. Ruby Summers. Hello, Eddie. Ruby. Hi. I guess you want to see Andy, huh? Yes, Eddie. I guess I do. He's playing the piano, Ruby. You see, the show's on, but maybe if I... The show's on? What's the next act, Eddie? Well, the name is Bueller Blake. She sings. At least that's what it says on the program. But why would you... Oh, look, I'll get Andy. No, no, wait. For a change, I've got an idea. Now, if you can get me backstage, Eddie. Backstage? Yes. Only wait for Mike. He's paying the cab driver. Over here, Mike. Philadelphia songbird, Mrs. Bueller Blake, singing Honeyman, yours truly at the piano. Act the good old days. Betty Gravel and Victor Mature. Betty, I noticed that in your latest picture of my blue heaven, you wear modern clothes for the first time in years. Yes, 20th Century Fox is finally allowing me to take off the stays and breathe like anyone else. Ah, but I saw the picture. And they're still allowing you to show those beautiful legs. And Betty, you must admit those legs are exceptional. Oh, I don't know. Next to my daughters, Vicki and Jessica, I think sociable has the prettiest legs I've ever seen. Who is sociable? Sociable is the name of my favorite horse. And he has beautiful legs. Ah. But he doesn't have a complexion like yours. That's because Betty is one of our lovelyest lux girls. Well, I'm a lux girl all right, Bill. It's been my favorite complexion care for years. Vick, you know, you and Betty haven't been teamed together here in some time. It was great seeing you again. Those are kind words, Bill. Incidentally, I saw you at the Chinese theater last Thursday night. That's right. At the Invitational Hollywood premiere of Darrell Lef's Xanax production, All About Eve. It was a brilliant premiere for a brilliant picture. It certainly was. And how about the Lux Radio Theater? What are you premiering next week, Bill? Well, Vick, we thought we'd just keep on in this happy mood. So next week, we're presenting another comedy, a modern love story from the Warner Brothers Studios. It's Pretty Baby. And as our stars, we'll have two from the original cast, Dennis Morgan and Betsy Drake. Be sure you don't miss it. Sounds wonderful, Bill. Good night. Good night. Good night, and a good time was had by all.