 This is still why in the morning, thank you for joining us. The hashtag to use is why in the morning, or if you like, hello Monday at Y254 at Stephanie IYetta. Talk to us. We have asked you a question over there. But now it is time for our fast conversation. Well, yesterday we celebrated the International Day of Families and today we are here to discuss something similar on that. We'll be talking about creating safe and nurturing environments for children especially and how just to see how we can be better parents as youths in future. And for this we have the Executive Director of Investing in Children and Societies. This is Beatrice Ogutu. Beatrice, Kareem Busanna. Thank you, Ms. Stephanie for having us on the show. Happy to be here and thank you for creating a platform for young people to be educated to learn and to be entertained. Really happy to be here today. Welcome. We are happy to have you too. So we want to know how you celebrated the International Day of Families fast before we get into what you do. Yesterday we spent time in the morning at church with the family to celebrate and fellowship together with other Christians. In the afternoon we had family time to celebrate together with our children. And it was especially important in this day and time when parents are so busy to even have enough time to spend with their young people. So we have to be deliberate and intentional to create that time to spend with young people. So that's how I celebrated mine yesterday and I know my colleagues did so as well. Wow. Interesting. I don't know if many people actually know that there's a day for celebrating families because not many people are really aware of it so it's also good that you're creating their awareness. True. Yeah. But ICS, which is the initial for investing in children and the societies. Thank you, Stephanie. ICS, we all believe that all children should be able to reach their full developmental potential and to do that we strengthen families, we protect children and we look at environments where children are. So the home setting is one of those environments where we work together with parents and caregivers in that environment to create safe and nurturing environments by way of training parents, educating them on their roles and responsibilities, empowering them with new skills to raise their children in this modern day and age and connect them to services and economic opportunities so that they can also be able to address their stress economically that they experience at household level. Another environment where children are most of the time are learning institutions so if you look from preschool to primary, secondary, our tertiary education that's where our children and our young people are. So we work together with their leadership, with their teachers to ensure that they are aware of what kind of procedures and systems they need to put in place to ensure that children are safe within those institutions. There is no bullying, there is no co-propanishment in those institutions and that there are guidelines that are safe guide children. But we also have a lot of life skills and mentorship opportunities for children and young people to learn critical skills in life, decision making, critical thinking, self-protection, including sensitive topics like sex and sexuality, HIV AIDS prevention, violence prevention. So those are some of the platforms and then within the community we work with the leadership, community leaders, the chiefs, the religious leaders to just empower them to create systems to ensure that children are protected even while they're in the community. So that's what we do. We work in close to 10 counties in this country and we are really happy that the issues of families have also been brought to the fore within our government frameworks and policies. Wow. Okay. And just to relate it with career, how do you think that, you know, the program through the training of the caregivers and parents and teachers, does it help in the development of these children as they grow up in terms of how they will, you know, develop in their career? Yes. Quite critical because we help parents in their journey right from when children are very young and encourage them to open those communication channels so that they can be able to inspire, encourage their children to dream more, to think more and expose them to opportunities in which they can be able to learn not only at home but also within the education setting. So career guidance is one of those aspects that is part of parental responsibility but also our education system should be also to be able to expose our young people to different opportunities in this modern day and age that exist for our young people. We are also critical to see that our education system look at their courses critically so that these courses should be able to speak to the modern day opportunities that exist for young people. We know there is a lot of space in the creative environment right now. Traditionally, you know when you're in the entertainment creative industry it was not view with the seriousness it deserves but we are really applauding the talent academies that are coming up either in the creative space in the sporting space so that our young people can be able to nurture and grow their talents and make money out of it. So those are some of the opportunities we encourage parents to open the space at household level to discuss but also within the schools so that beyond the traditional courses that we were used to which are still quite important being a doctor, a lawyer, those are quite critical but then we are now opening the space and encouraging parents to be a little bit more open and flexible. When your child tells you that you know I want to be a DJ for example that is something they should be able to promote nature and encourage within the family setting and then our talent academies should be able to open this space for young people to be able to explore and nurture their talents as well. Alright so you've said you're in ten counties. Yes. So are there specific areas in these ten counties that you have targeted? Yes. Critically our programs have been in the western part of the country. So Bungoma, Kisumo, Siaia, Kaka-Mega are some of the areas that we are working with schools, young people, children and their families and also now in Nairobi, Kiambo, Machakos and getting into Garisa and Kilifi as well. So these are all opportunities that provide us to engage with parents and caregivers to support them in their role to give them more information that would help them navigate the complexities of raising children and young people in this modern day and age. So those platforms have been created together with government and parents are now accessing information. They're now brave enough to tackle. They are now conscious enough and deliberate enough to create that space and know that their role is important in nurturing our young people for them to be successful and responsible in this modern day and age. It's also a platform that enables us to highlight the challenges that families are going through. There are quite a number of unhealthy relationships, dysfunctional families. I think during the COVID-19 season, we saw a lot of cases of violence, domestic violence, family violence, violence against children within those settings. We saw violence against spouses in those settings. So these are also platforms we highlight what families are going through and violence is quite a big problem in this country. And because people are silent about it, sometimes we never know about the magnitude and extent. So families need that support to address the factors that could cause them or make them vulnerable to abuse within the household setting. And to know which spaces they can report if violence actually happened. And we know our young people are growing in these environments. And it's quite a challenge because then we don't model as parents the healthy relationships that we should have, the respect that people should have within the household level. So if this is what the youth are experiencing, then it's quite dangerous. And there's a lot of studies that talks about if you witness violence as a child, there's a high level that you could be a perpetrator. Because that is what you know, that is what you have experienced. And that is why you feel that life should go on in the same way. So it's quite critical that we address some of these stressors in the household level, including economic stress. Parents are really going through a lot in this economy right now. Jobs were lost as a result of COVID-19. People are struggling to keep their businesses afloat. So poverty is still a stressor. And when violence comes in there, then things are a lot complicated. So a lot more issues need to be done to support families. And that is where the international day of the family is quite important. Set aside to honor the family as a unit, as a basic unit of society, but also as a platform to highlight the challenges that families are going through and what governments can be able to do to address those. OK. So when you go to do the programs, how do you conduct the programs exactly? Do you gather parents for maybe a 10-week program, a 12-foot program? How do you go about the program? Yes, when we get into a community, we mobilize and organize parents into groups of 18 to 24. So it becomes a peer support group. And they are taken through a curriculum that we have developed, we have tested, and currently is being considered for adaptation by national government through the directorate of social development. So they go through 10 modules for a period of once a week for all those 12 weeks. And they're taken quite a number of, on a number of topics, from family relationships to promoting communication within the families, building self-esteem and inculcating values and discipline in children. We are talking about issues of preventing abuse and neglect within the household level. We are talking about family budgeting and financial planning within the household level. We are talking about child developmental stages and what parents should anticipate at each stage and prepare themselves to support their children. We are also supporting parents to communicate confidently about sensitive topics that we fear even talking with our young people, issues of drug and substance abuse, issues of sex and sexuality, issues around career guidance. So we are opening that space and building skills with parents and caregivers, helping them reflect on how they are parenting and giving them the space to also get ideas from other parents. So that's how we organize parents in groups to support them through that journey. But over and above that, we also have awareness sessions for the general community. Either through community debating sessions, we also use community media a lot. In the communities where we work, there are different media stations. And then platforms like this also help us to provide information to parents on how they can tackle certain things that they are going through. And, you know, from the programs that you have undertaken, what are some of the gains that you've seen parents take from the program? The appreciation that, you know, there is a platform that they can be able to vent off. Sometimes it's quite stressful to be a parent, you know, when everybody is expecting everything from you and then you don't have a space to also re-energize, learn, reflect. So that is one of the things that is quite important. Parents are really appreciating that, you know, the opportunities for them to vent off, to learn new things, to complain and then get the information. But the most important aspect as well is the healthy relationships that we are modeling. We are helping them model within their homes. So between their children, they're opening those spaces to talk, you know, before Mama Akoa Kisema, Ame Sema, Mama Akoa Kisema. And our young people know this very well, you know. Buddha Kisema, Nivyo, you know. So we're encouraging them to open that space so that young people can also share what they're going through and have that opportunity to get supported and guided by their parents. We have also, through studies, we have seen that the program is actually reducing rates of violence within the family. And this is violence against children, but also violence against women within the household setting. So if we are talking about how to nurture family relationships, how to open up communication doors, how to deal with conflict in the family without necessarily fighting, you know. So those are some of the benefits. And then we have also seen the opportunity of young people now to be free with their parents and talk about, you know, Daddy, I like this. I don't like this. I would like to be supported in this. And children really working together with their parents and their teachers to promote academic achievement in school. So these are some of the opportunities that we have seen with this program. But then again, I think quite critical is also the sharing of responsibilities within the home. The fathers are appreciating that, you know, mothers actually taking on a lot and there has to be an opportunity to support in one way or the other. So modeling this kind of healthy relationships also is a springboard for our young people to learn that this is how marriages are. That it's not necessarily a bad thing. I know many of our young people are saying, come on in, you know. I take care. Watch I care. So I think we have a responsibility as parents to model the right behavior, the right kind of healthy relationship so that our young people and courage marriage is not necessarily a bad thing. But what they experience and see could make them think, this is not for me. Yes. So that's where the strengthening of families come in. And now, you know, you've brought in aspects of, you know, talking it out with the children and shared responsibilities in the families. And this is something that is not, you know, common in Africa, in an African setup, especially when you go to maybe rural areas, maybe inside Western Kenya. So how do you really manage to transform their mindset? Because with that, you know, you go to get, you need to get to the roots. Yes. So that to change that. So how do you do that? Mr. Fani, it's a journey. It's not something we change in a week or a month or six months. When talk about deep seated social norms, the way we live our lives as Africans from a long time ago, and you're telling an African man, hey, you need to be able to help. You know, your, your, your, your wife at the household level. So it's a conversation where we expose both parties, both husband and wife to the general JD of a parent. What does it actually mean to be a parent? And then they list all those aspects. And then we interrogate together with them. So among all these responsibilities of parenting, who does what and who does what? So they see the burden is actually on the mothers, a lot of it. Traditionally, our fathers are providers and disciplinarians, but there is much more to parenting than just providing and providing and giving discipline. So when they see the whole realm of responsibilities of parenthood and the burden that falls on mothers and what that means. And the fact that our mothers today are not sitting at home, they're also working. So how do they balance all this role? So it opens the space to communicate. So mommy has all these things to do. What will children support in? What with me as a father supporting? Sometimes it's simple decisions like getting somebody in the house to support mommy in cleaning, in cooking, but money. Mommy has to supervise, for example, is sometimes, you know, the father coming in a little bit earlier in the evening and supporting with homework as mommy does other responsibilities. So it's the appreciation that there's a lot to bring up our children. It has to be deliberate and intentional. And both parties must work as a team to make sure that this happens. So it's it's not confronting men that you have to cook as your wife cleans. You know, it's just appreciating the how can me as a man come in more strongly to support my wife in raising our children as she does one, I could be doing the other. It's a negotiation that happens in the household level and it takes time. It's not something you change in a month or two, but we have seen it happen. And also just people sitting down and discussing as families. I know from long time ago, children were to eat separately. When daddy comes, they eat separately. So how then do you create that environment when there are times when the family just sits together, talks together? And when that family meeting is called, the young people are like, Oh, no, what did I do? Or what did they discover? Yeah, we are in trouble today. So creating the culture of meeting, interacting and creating space within the family to just be a family, discuss about family issues. So the parents are also aware and they are not shocked because sometimes parents get shocked when they hear the young people have turned out differently, but they have not been available because of other circumstances. So it's something that really takes time. And we appreciate that men are now more involved and more supportive and we really do appreciate. And that's what we want to build up in nature for our fathers to be present. And present doesn't mean you're just available. They are watching telly. You're present and trying to interact, find out how school was. How was your university class today? Is that cost making sense? You know, you have those discussions, you talk as a conversation. So this is creating a good positive change, actually. But now, how does it work if only one parent one parent comes to the program and the other word is not interested? Yes. So does it really impact the family? Yes, it is true that most of the time when we organize parents for these trainings, one of them will come, either the mother or the father. But the good thing is even one of if one of them is able to be empowered and they're able to change, the effects will be seen at the household level. We have seen cases where, you know, when you talk about parenting trainings, the woman will come, the mother will come. But at the same time, when they go back home, because the first topics that we discuss within the parenting trainings are more about family relationships and communication. So when they go back home, their husband starts seeing a bit of change in their women in terms of improved communication skills. They're dealing with conflict differently. You know, there's a sea of Banani and Takaina. They have already been empowered in one way or the other to be able to address conflict, to communicate better within the family, to create those spaces, to talk better, things that they were not doing before. And then the man will be curious enough and say, I think this is actually a good thing. My wife is different, you know, they are not shouting anymore. They are not quiet anymore. They're actually looking at, you know, how to deal with this issue in a better way. So then they're encouraged to find out and they become curious enough to find out why when I finish, I think I need to be there or she needs to finish all the classes. But then there are also separate sessions we organize for men so that even if they don't attend the normal group session, then they are different clinics. We call them fatherhood clinics that we have with men. So when they meet at the household, the man has learnt, the woman has learnt and then they can be able to work as a team and at the same time, the life skills and mentorship sessions in school also work together with children. So you can imagine a family where the husband is attended a fatherhood clinic. The mother has attended a parenting session. The children are part of life skills. When they meet together and there's that space and good things happen. So that's the model we intend to create. So just in case you're joining us, we are speaking with Beatrice Ogutu from Investing in Children and Societies. And we're talking about creating the safe and nurturing environments for the children and in turn strengthening the families. So now we want to ask, how do, where do the youths come in? Because maybe someone is not a parent, but in future there will be parents. So how do they come into this conversation? In several ways. I've said that if you empower parents and they create that opportunity for their young people to be part and parcel of their family and to air out the issues that they experience as young people, for parents to be the guidance, for parents to be able to steer them in the right place. So when parents are able to support our young people, it becomes quite important because if they find the home toxic, you know, the best other option is their peers and the media. So the parent should be the single source of truth in so many ways. And then their peers and then the media and other influences come on board. So that's a good space. But even when we are talking about primary and secondary school and targeting people with life skills and exposing them to what they could be for them to dream of, you can imagine that girl, that boy in the village who has never left their village and therefore everything they know is what is around them. So giving them that exposure, that it is possible, regardless of where you're coming from, to become who you want to be and giving them that space, exposing them to that education that they need in terms of life skills to be able to, you know, have the confidence to take it on beyond the academics to also explore the talents that they have. So it's quite critical, but also highlighting to parents and teachers that these young people have something to give back. They are just not recipients of services, recipients of information, but they can also contribute to their own development. If we give them that space to be able to say, Mommy, I can do this. Mommy, I can do this. I can help you beyond household cause, you know, in the household. So those opportunities really give and we have seen very young people grow up. They were a bit timid because of love of exposure, but now they're good in sports. They're good in poetry. We have young children who are now representing their counties in county assembly. We have the children's parliament within the country. So we've nurtured a lot of young people to occupy spaces of leadership at their own level, and those talents have been nurtured through and through from their primary to their secondary. And if you follow them through, you just see they've grown up to be very responsible young people. So those life skills and mentorship sessions, we don't take them for granted. It opens the space for young people to thrive and dream more, you know. It prepares them for leadership position because, you know, how we say we are the leaders of today, they actually say youths are the leaders of tomorrow, but we are the leaders of today. All right. So we'll continue this conversation. Let's take a short break and then we'll be right back. Thank you.