 Diane's in the house. Hi. Hi. I'm a bit shy. Can you be a more centered to the camera? No, no, no. OK, yeah. All right. That all right? That's perfect. Where are you calling from? England. OK. Wow, it must be past your bedtime. Yeah, it is. I met a guy in October. I met him from a dating website. And he told me straight from the off that he wanted a relationship. He wanted to get to know me. And he said to me that if I play him, then he will walk. And I said to him that I don't do bed hopping. So if you bed hop, then I'm gone. So we more or less laid our cards on the table. And we met. He said that to you. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's usually the other way around. So OK, sounds good so far. So yeah, we met. We spent the afternoon and evening together, walking, talking, getting to know each other. We were on the phone continuous every day, calling each other. And he was an open book. OK. And I've been an open book. And it was going really well. And then he was going to come to stay with me. How far apart did you two live? We live about 50 miles. 50 as five miles from each other? 50 miles? 50 miles? Yeah. It would take me about. By the way, thank you for saying it in miles. Aren't you in kilometers over there? Over here, we do it in miles. I think over there in the states, you do it in kilometers. And I don't know what we do miles. We do miles. I didn't know that. Oh, OK. I didn't know that. So yeah, it's about two hours, I think, a bus and a train to get to him. So everything was going fine. He was going to come stay with me to see the new year in with me. But then his brother went into a hospital. OK. I didn't know his brother had gone into a hospital. He was going to come to me. And I was I kept messaging him because to say he had sex at any point. No, we hadn't had sex. OK, how many times were you physically face to face with one another? Video call all the time. How many face to face? We've only met once. OK, met once. OK, got it, got it, got it. So anyway, I didn't I didn't know his brother was in the hospital and he was due to come to me. OK, and he said to me, I will call you tomorrow. OK, then that didn't happen. OK, and so I was messaging him, are you still coming? And he said, I will call you later. So and this went on for two, three days. OK. And in the end, I think I got a bit dramatic with him and I left him a message and I said, if you are done with me, just say so, have a bit of decency, have a bit of decency and a bit of respect by just letting me know you're done with me because I thought he was mucking me about. OK. Because I didn't I didn't know his brother was in the hospital. OK. Then he tells me he sent me one message. My brother's in the hospital. We are we are all up here at present. All the family at the hospital at present. He said, now now is not the time for drama. I will reach out to you in the new year. OK. So I gave him four weeks of peace. I didn't message him for four weeks. Then I messaged him last week. OK. And he said that he's just he's just things are busy at the moment. OK. But he will reach out to me at some point. OK, Diane, I'm going to now ask you ask me a question. I have enough backstory. I'm thinking because I don't know. That's not a question. Oh, OK. OK. Tell me what you think you're you're asking what I think. This isn't about what you think. Yeah, you're right. OK. Blank. Say it to me. Because of the drama that I've caused. Do you think he's done with me? OK. So let me just to answer yes or no. Do you believe you caused drama? Yes or no? Yes. OK, I mean, well, let me be clear about this. So you own that you had caused some drama. Yeah. And I did apologize to him. So here's the thing. First off, a couple of things. You've only been physically once in front of each other. All the video calls, all the telephone calls, all the tax muscles. Those don't count because people are lonely and they want attention. So those don't count. You've only been physically in front of each other once in the last three months. You have 50 miles of distance between the two of you. And there has been some drama. Now, he did obviously have his brother in the hospital and he was emotionally occupied by that. Is he done with you? You know, does it really matter? Like what am I why? OK, obviously you would like to see him again. Am I right? I would, yes. But don't you want to be with somebody who wants to be with you? Just say yes or no. Yes, I do. OK, so if he doesn't want to be with you, you shouldn't care about. I mean, in other words, only give your attention to someone who wants to give you their attention. Yes, of course. Of course. So is this done? Most likely. Most likely. But if I said 100%, you're not going to believe me. But the problem is you're going to be like that movie Dumb and Dumber. So you're saying I have a chance, right? I mean, I can always. No, the way I'm saying it in the moment is, well, I'm thinking he said. By the way, Eskilar, we have a quote post here that says, you're blaming yourself because he gaslit you. Well, I want to address that comment by her because you have admitted you created drama. So it's hard to say if he. Now, I suspect he created some drama as well by not being as articulate about what's going on. And this is where this is a lot of miscommunication that happens when we communicate via cyber. But I'm going to say this and we're going to wrap up in a moment. OK, Daniel? Yeah. Rather than holding hope on this relationship, just be in your lane. There's an expression, be in your lane. Live your life, be in your lane. If he wants to see you and you're interested in seeing him, then make a date to see each other. There's no need to do more telephone calls. There's no need to do more video dates. I highly doubt he's going to do it because men, traditionally, are rather lazy. They want you to come to them instead of them coming to you. And so I would right now focus on yourself, not focus on. I mean, take him out of your consciousness and focus on your life, which you're most likely doing. I doubt it's going to turn around. But if it does turn around, have more serious conversation. But do it face to face because this virtual relationship will drag out for years and you're just wasting your time most likely. OK, Diane? OK, thank you. OK, can I give you a big, gigantic Jotham Bear hug? You can. Thank you. Thank you. Big hugs to you. OK. Oops, sorry about that. So folks, with respects to Diane, this is some of the challenges. They spent a lot of time communicating through the phone, through a web conversations. They built a bit of rapport, which is fine. But ultimately, you have to build the deeper roots of trust has to be done face to face. It takes about 100 hours of face to face time just to build the first layer of trust. And no trust was built. And so when she was simply making a request for some connection, he was obviously avoiding it, or not obviously avoiding. He was most likely avoiding it. And then she went into drama mode, which she openly admits she had done. He was creating some drama. These are actually, now we're almost we're into the realm of two children playing together. And they're not doing a good job playing together. And that's what I sense is happening in this dynamic. So I hope she gets into her own lane, focuses on herself right now. Because what he does is irrelevant. What matters most is what she does for herself. All right? I hope you do that, Diane. And big hugs to you, Diane. Ah. All right. I think this would be a great place to wrap up tonight. Folks, if you have something to share, post a comment below. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I do my best to read them all in the first 24 hours. If you'd like to connect with me or first off, if you like this video, please hit that like button. 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