 K-T-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Johnny Green and his orchestra. The orchestra opens the program with Goodie Goodie. Things in life you have to take on faith, such as the fact that the sun will rise tomorrow. But when you can prove a thing yourself, it's a pleasure to do it. You've heard me talking about Jell-O week after week, but just the same, you don't have to take my word for Jell-O's extra-rich fruit flavor. You can prove it for yourself with this simple triple test. First, open a package of Jell-O, and right away you smell the delicious fruit fragrance of those delicate, powdery crystals. Second, dissolve Jell-O in warm water and enjoy that luscious, fresh fruit aroma again. Third, taste Jell-O. Taste that flavor as delicious as fresh ripe fruit. Extra-rich, twice as luscious. That's Jell-O and only Jell-O. No other Jell-O dessert has Jell-O's new extra-rich fruit flavor. So whether you're ordering Jell-O at your grocers or in hotels or restaurants, order by name. Insist on the one and only genuine Jell-O. Yeah, and we're all artists, aren't we? Well, we're all entitled to your opinion, Don. But the way you said it, people will think I'm hanging from a trapeze. Well, maybe that's where you should be hanging from. After this, Don, just introduce me and let me say the funny thing. You know, I'm the comedian. Oh, yeah? Well, let me hear you say one funny thing. Charlie Chaplin. Man. That's good. He is funny. Say you're all right, Jack. Who's he kidding? Well, anyway, tonight, folks, we are starting a contest. A contest in which every member of your family can participate. Now, all that is required is a Harvard education, paper and pencil. The paper and pencil are essential. You will have to write your answers clearly. And the first prize will be a... Come in. Pardon me, Mr. Benny. Have you got the right time? Yes. It's, uh, five minutes after seven. Thank you, sir. And other valuable prizes. Don, I can't be bothered answering that door. Where's Mary? I don't know. She didn't show up yet. She did. Well, that's fine. Give me that phone. Operator, give me Plainfield, 1-9-8-7. People show up whenever they see you like it around here. Hello? Hello. You've got the wrong number. How do you know? I didn't say anything yet. I want to speak to Mary Livingston. I'm sorry, but she's here. She is, eh? Well, why don't you put her on the phone? She's too heavy. Oh, ma, is that for me? Yes, dear. Hello? Mary, what are you doing home? The program has started already. See, it's Sunday night again? Yes. Oh, it's so cold, Jack. I thought I'd stay home tonight. Besides, I have to take care of Father. Well, what's the matter with him? He sprained his ankle last night, trucking. Oh, yeah? Well, I don't believe you. What's that? That's Father limping around. Well, you better get over here, Mary. And another thing, Jack. I have to look after Grandma. She's in bed with a cold. Oh, is it very bad? Is it? We had to put the other twin bed on her chest. And that's not all, Jack. The baby had a measles. She has? What are you doing for her? I wrote this while at home. Measles, measles. Dear old measles, how are you? Never mind that. Now, you get over here, Mary. I need you on the program. Tell you, Don, there's no discipline around here. Isn't it awful? Come in. Pardon me, Mr. Benny. Have you got the right time? I just gave it to you. It's five minutes at seven. I know, but there are two of us. Come on, Joe. What is this, anyway? Hello? Hello, Jack? Yeah. This is Kenny Baker. Where are you, Kenny? Or at my hotel. It's awfully cold out. If you don't mind, uh, I'd rather not come over tonight, Jack. You get right over here. Where are you living? At the Translux. The Translux? Well, that's a movie theater. Oh, no wonder they saw me out at 12 o'clock. Listen, Kenny, you grab a taxi and rush right over here. I don't feel good, Jack. I caught a cold last night. Oh, you did, eh? Where were you? Oh, I got on a ferry boat and went to New Jersey. Oh, you went to New Jersey? Yeah. Gee, they speak the same as we do, don't they? That's dope, that is. Listen, Kenny, if you don't get over here right away, you're fired. Oh, all right. Bye. Who does he think he is? Come in. Here I am, Jack. Hello, Kenny. You got here quick, didn't you? Yeah. Where are we on the program? I just called you up. Remember? Any trouble with you, too? Now look at me. Hello, Johnny. Jack, do you mind if I don't show up tonight? Well, what's the matter with you? I've got laryngitis. You got what? I've got laryngitis. Laryngitis. See, I had it two weeks ago. I'll tell you what to do, Johnny. Take a glass of hot water and lemon. I haven't gotten the lemon. What have you got? Laryngitis. Take some hot water and salt and gargles. They'll do you good. Okay, Jack. For now, much better, Jack. Goodbye. Well, we ought to get this program started pretty soon, I think. Hello, Jack. Good job you're here with bells on. Boy, we're here for my sponsor, Playboys. I'll tell you that it is the largest selling gelatin dessert in the world. I'm going to let Jello speak for itself. So let me take you to the home of Mr. and Mrs. Cecil Underwood. You will find them at the dinner table. Let us see what they have to say about our... So full of food, I can hardly talk. Our dinner was exceptionally good tonight. I'm so glad you liked it, Cecil. By the way, what time is it getting to be? It's almost eight. We have just about enough time to make the show. Uh, what are we going to see tonight, Cecil? George White scandals, and they tell me it's one of the funniest reviews in town. Oh, I'm just dying to see it. I'll finish my coffee and just... Take your time, dear. I'll send for the car. And by the time it gets here, we'll be all ready to leave. Oh, I'm so happy. Ha, ha, ha. Millions of other people have said the same thing. Trovatore. Formerly of the Metropolitan Opera Company. Let us hear what he has to say about our product. Mr. I.L. Trovatore. And you've been a cook for some of the best families in America. Yes, sir. Well, tell us, Ms. Lettuce, in the 30 years you have been cooking, what dishes have you served mostly? Any more people screaming for Jello. Kenny, who has been a baker for years, will sing alone from the motion picture a night at the opera. Oh, Kenny, what do you owe your success to? I don't know. I don't get much money here. Ha, ha, ha. I can't get a testimonial from anybody. Sing, Kenny. We all get better, Jack. Gee, when I first saw you, I didn't like you at all. Ha, ha, ha. You know, Kenny, uh, well, never mind. Folks, we're going to offer... What time do you say it wasn't, Mr. Benny? I told you ten minutes ago, with five minutes after seven. I know, but time marches on. Now, tonight, folks, we are going to offer something unusual in the line of a play. First, we try to get a mid-summer night's dream. But up until the late hour, we could not get in touch with the office. Then we try to get Rose Marie, but Rose wasn't home and Marie wasn't interested. Then we try to get three men on a horse. But the horse complains. Quiet. So tonight, we are going to present our own original drama called The Eternal Crying. You know, folks, the kind of a play where the husband leads home on a business trip and so forth and so on. Well, tonight, we are going to present this drama in two scenes. First, in the year 1936, played by members of the present Yellow Company. And the second scene will be 50 years later, with the same cast. This will go on immediately after the next number will be played by Johnny Green. By the way, Johnny, you know, you're going to be in our sketch, too. I was afraid of that. Oh, you can play the part all right. Look, Johnny, were you ever in love with a girl who was crazy about somebody else? Repeatedly. Oh. That's all that's necessary. Play, John. Every cent I had, but it's worth it. Do you like it? Yes, but I wanted a diamond ring. Look at those marvelous stashes in the hallway, those beautiful paintings on the wall, and closets big enough to hide three salesmen. It's lovely, dear. But, darling, I have bad news for you. What is it? I must leave it once for Pittsburgh on business. No. Yes. If you're going to take it to heart, I won't go. Yes, darling, I must catch the 815 train. Pack my bag. There you are. Before I go, I want you to promise me that you won't die of loneliness. I'll bet you eight to five I won't. Well, goodbye, sweet. And I want you to know that while I'm away, I'll always... Goodbye. I can't remember. Mom's the word around here. With me, man, it's in one ear, and don't come out. Who's there? It's me, Kenny. Has he gone? Yes. Come in, lover. Oh, dear, the thrill. I'm glad you're here, you great big playboy. Sweetheart, I can hardly wait to see you. How long will your husband be gone? A week. Oh, then I can sit down. Oh, I... Get over there by those statues. Can't still look like George Washington. All right. My husband, you better cross the Delaware. I forgot to put my shoes on, it's snowing in here. And you know I forgot something else. What? I forgot to kiss you. I must catch my... Then, dearest, I can tell you of my love. Are we alone? Well, practically. I've walked through slush and snow to get here. Tell me, baby, whose little blue eyes are those? Your, sweetheart. And whose ruby lips are those? Your, dearest. And whose little nose is that? Your, darling. Gee, I hope we don't have to be statues. You should live so. This is for you, just how to make it. Disolve a package of orange jello in warm water, and a chill until slightly thickened. Add half a cup of whipped cream and a third of a cup of orange marmalade. Chill firm and unmold. Boy, it's swell. Gold and the taste of snow has a rich fruit flavor, as delicious as ripe oranges. Combined with marmalade and whipped cream, you have a dessert to cheer about. Just be sure to make it with genuine jello. Look for the big red letters on the package. They spell... I do expect to be with you in the very near future. Meanwhile, I hope to see all of my Pittsburgh friends at the family theater of Pittsburgh, week beginning this Friday the 28th. Uh, tell them I'll be there too, Jack. Oh, yes, Mary will appear with me. Uh, say Jack, where is Pittsburgh? Oh, just a little west of the Alacaney Mountain. Well, how do you get over the mountain? Oh, we'll find a way.