 Hello everybody, welcome back to another vlog. I am just pulling up to Target now after having a nice busy productive day and also getting my brows done. I just got my brows touched up and I don't even have my camera with me but I was like, oh, let me start a new vlog. There was just altercation happening in the parking garage. So I am going to wait a second before I go into Target because there was yelling and expletives and I just truly want to my own business. I'm also in a very awkward parking position and the person next to me took up, they went over into my lane and I pulled in anyways to prove a point and then I just had to watch them squeeze into their car and it was very, very satisfying. And I just sat here like this. Anyways, yeah, oh God, they're leaving now, so awkward. My brows are really harsh at the moment. They're very bold and that's just how it happens when you get them laminated and tinted. They're just really intense for the first 24 hours and then you wash them and it's fine. But I'm at Target because I am doing a fun little vision board night with my friend, Laura. So last year we did the same thing and she brought like all of the materials. She literally brought over like wine and the poster boards and fricking magazines and like literally everything you could possibly need. So I told her that this year I would get all the stuff. So she's gonna come over, Drew's gonna make us dinner and then she and I are gonna have, we're just gonna do mocktails this time. We will see what else we get up to. It's honestly getting so late in the day. My appointment took longer than I thought and now it's almost two o'clock. I'm like, I need to get home before traffic. It's crazy. So anyway, let's head into Target and see what we can find. Sorry I'm filming this on my phone, but it is what it is. First thing I think I'm looking for is glue sticks because we're in this sort of like craft slash office slash school supplies area. But all I can find is like actual glue. I guess we could do Mod Podge. I literally don't know the last time I bought Mod Podge. But I wanna find glue sticks. I feel like we're getting warmer. Can't get over my brows. I'm gonna be like, oh, here we go. Oh my God, I do not need six glue sticks. But maybe I'll get into crafting again this year or something, we'll see. And then I need to find some poster boards. Some people do like canvases and stuff like that, but a poster board was absolutely fine for me last year. I haven't been able to find that so far. So that's next on the list. Okay, it's been a few minutes and I ended up going on the Target website or on the Target app, I mean, that's honestly like a really easy way to see if they have something in stock or not because I searched in my store and they were like, they don't have poster boards, which I find weird. But anyways, we found some canvases. So we're gonna do that onward. The need of some sort of like countertop tripod because the ones that I have are either too short or too tall and I don't have an advent calendar to set it up on anymore. So you're sitting on a paper towel. But here is everything I got at Target. I did end up getting the canvases because I didn't have poster boards, which is weird. I got some brushes to put on Mod Podge in case we wanna like Mod Podge to the top when we're done. And I got the glossy kind because I think that looks nice. I literally think the last time I bought Mod Podge was like in the sort of DIY era of YouTube, which I did partake in. Nobody watched it and it's all been private advice. I definitely did partake. I got some glue sticks just in case. And then we got a ton of magazines. I got a house plants magazine, lots of people's, us weekly, cottage and cabins. I thought that was very me. I had to get the time magazine with Taylor's push on the cover. And this is my favorite cover, the one with her and Benjamin. We have better homes and gardens, secrets of getting organized magazine. Sure. We have the people magazine Gypsy Rose cover. Been watching her Lifetime series and that's crazy. And then also Miss Kelly Clarkson. And that's what we have. So if we wanna decorate with some other things we can, like if we wanna draw some stuff in or whatever, Drew has a lot of art stuff, but that should be fine. I wanna do just like an entire magazine collage. It is now three o'clock. I just scarfed some lunch down because it was like way too late. I did not anticipate getting home this late. Well, I've been home for a while but I just finished my lunch not too long ago. So I have lots of work to do before my friend gets here at 5.30. Someone's firing up their motorcycle. I'm gonna enjoy my peanut butter cup, finish up my work, and hopefully have all of it done before she gets here at 5.30. But we'll see. And then we're gonna have a fun little manifestation night. Actually, a couple of days later now, we had a lovely night, me and Laura making our vision boards. Here's mine. Although, okay, they didn't have poster boards at Target, which was really weird. I think I mentioned that. We had these canvases but I think the canvases were waxed. So we tried to use glue stick and then Mod Podge over it. And it's still kind of like peeling up a little bit. But here's what I got. The magazines weren't really giving, unfortunately. But I have love, smile, healthy, goal, snowbirds. That's like my ultimate goal is to be a snowbird. Habits, smiles, happy, thrive, stronger than ever. Put myself first, fresh start, bloom, shimmering. I loved that. Set up a morning routine that actually works hot. I have hot like every year. Full potential, you, plants, and a quote that says, I set a bar high for myself. Oh, and start new and then Hollywood Hills because I want to go to like more state sales and stuff. And also drink big, you know? So yeah, we finished our vision boards. That was really nice. We ended up making some fun little mocktails I mixed. Lemonade with like a strawberry lime or watermelon lime ollie pop. And that was really, really good. And we cut up some like strawberries and raspberries and put it in there. So that was good. And now I have just gotten ready. I'm actually wearing my new glasses. These are from Glasses USA, not sponsored. Although if they want to sponsor me, I'd be totally fine with that. I wish I knew the style of them. I will find them and I'll link it down below, but they're so cute. And so I decided to go for like a little chic outfit because we are going out to dinner tonight with our friends, Josh and Noel. We're going to this place called Pine and Crane and it sounds really good. It's Taiwanese food and it sounds amazing. But here is the outfit that I decided to throw together. So I have this oversized sweater that I wear like regularly now. I think I got it on ASOS. I have my little Halara pull on casual, sort of like trouser style pants. I got my black Sambas and I got my glasses. Hey, I also, excitingly, basically I was supposed to film today. I was supposed to do an entire filming day. However, we had some repairs that needed to be done to our apartment. And the only time that they could come was this morning. And so they had to fix like a giant crack in the walls in the kitchen. And also they grounded the outlet that was in here because this apartment is super old from like the forties or something like that, fifties, thirties, I don't know. So the outlet that was still in this office space that I film in was a two-prong outlet. So I couldn't plug in like my computer to edit on. I couldn't plug in any sort of like power strip. So they ended up replacing it because we asked our landlord if he would, he said yes. And honestly, the outlet itself and like the wires and stuff were really damaged. So we were glad they changed that out. And then they fixed, I don't know if you noticed at all when we were doing our advent calendars during Vlogmas, but there was a giant like crack ripple in the wall right there that they patched up. But anyways, yeah, we're going, this is too long of a clip, but we're going out to dinner and hopefully we'll get some really good food. We just finished our little coffee date at Stereoscope. And now we're headed to Pine Crain and it's so cute over here. And it's like a perfect night. Into it. We got some scallion pancakes. We got a, would you say it was pork over rice? This is pork on rice. Minced pork on rice, sounds great. We ordered a lot of things. So I'm ready. And a Taiwanese beer. We got some Van Dan noodles. We each got one. This is a beef roll. Don't know what's in it, but it looks amazing. And then jidori chicken. Yes, please. I think this actually might be everything. Oh no, and pot stickers. Oh yeah. Okay, that's fine. We're going to eat it all. It's all good. We're going to try the jidori chicken. I've never had it before, but there are whole garlic cloves. So my breath is going to be thick. Oh yes, delicious. I'm in the strangest lighting right now. Dinner was absolutely delicious and now it's time for drinks. Good morning. It is the next day yet again. And I just finished my workout, did my little smoothie, you know, my typical routine. I'm getting ready now. I'm actually getting quite a late start because I don't know if this happens to anyone else when you drink alcohol, but I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm just like up for a while. And that's what happened to me last night. I was up from like 3 a.m. to like 6.30 in the morning. And then I fell back asleep to like 7.45 anyways. We went to bed, we were home by like 10 and we were asleep by 11, but I don't know, it just like threw me off. You know what I mean? So I was really proud of myself for like showing up for myself and doing my workout. I am doing my 30 days of working out every day, joyful movement, whatever you want to call it, for my main channel. I'm not filming the actual workouts this time. I'm just gonna like report back with my experience and that kind of stuff. So I think I'm doing pretty good with that. I mean, I haven't missed a day yet and it's the 12th, but when my period comes, all bets are off. And speaking of my period, literally no one asked. I just think that this is helpful because I know a lot of people who are watching this are probably going through the same thing right now, but I have a virtual appointment with my gynecologist. It's like a follow-up. I could have scheduled it in person, but I was like, what's the point? If I could just do it virtually, they give you the option to do that. So it's like a Zoom call or whatever. And I'm gonna go over, I think maybe I'll talk about it after the appointment, but I'm gonna go over some test results I got and do like give some feedback, do a follow-up, et cetera. So that is something we can discuss in a bit, but I'm just getting ready. I'm actually, this foundation is probably not the right color for me right now because I'm not fake tanned like most of it's washed off, but I saw this all over TikTok before I deleted it. I haven't updated you on that yet. I did delete TikTok from my phone. I mean, it's been like 12 days now. I do miss it sometimes because things are really funny, but also I don't miss like the brain rot that I get from TikTok, you know? So I don't know how long that'll last for, but anyway, before that, I saw this Super Stay Skin Tint by Maybelline and it's like a foundation, but it has vitamin C in it, I think. And I've actually been really liking it. Like it lasts a long time, it's long wearing, it looks really nice on the skin. So I'm all for like a very affordable makeup option. I did in fact drop my entire makeup bag in the toilet during my trip home to Arizona. It was sitting on this shelf at my mom's house. She has this like shelf built-in thing over the toilet and I stupidly like set it up there and overnight it fell off somehow and I woke up in the morning and I went to the bathroom and I was like. So my entire makeup bag was in the toilet like literally the whole, all my brushes, everything. I literally had to go to Sephora the morning of Christmas Eve and spend a lot of money on new everything. It sucked, but there was simply no way that I was coming back from that. It was, it had been soaking in the toilet all night and I was just like, absolutely not. So that really sucked. But anyway, I discovered this foundation around that time. I got it from Target and it's really nice. Oh, you know me just casually talking for too long as per usual. So let me finish getting ready. I don't really have to do that much because I have my like DIY lash extensions right now and then I just got my brows done. So like really all I have to do is my face makeup and then if I want to do like a tiny bit of eyeliner or something, but it's so nice. It saves so much time. And then I did my hair last night. So we're going to get ready. I'm going to film a main channel video first. I'm going to do like a best of 2023 video which will probably be up, I can't remember if it'll be up by the time you see this. But anyways, that's going to go up soon because I just want to like recap, you know? It's still January, so I think it counts. Anyway, I'm going to finish getting ready and then we will check up before we start filming. All right, just finished getting ready. I stole Drew's sweater. I wish you could hear the noise the way I hear it. Hopefully it's not as bad on camera, but anyway. There's a lot of construction happening around us and it's literally happening all day every day. Like there's no, I can't escape it. So like I just have to film anyways. Anywho, I stole Drew's sweater. I love this cobalt blue sweater. I think it's so cute. I need to turn the light on in here. I'm about to film and then do my little call. Hopefully it goes okay. I also have these little clips on. I got these at a store in the Arrowhead Mall in Arizona called Mini So, I believe it was called. And it came with like three little clips and I think it's so cute and it goes so cute with the blue sweater. So anyway, all right, gonna film now and we will check in in a bit. Just got off of my call and the construction noise. Okay, so I'm gonna try to get through this because I'm just feeling like really emotional but I just got off the phone with my gynecologist. I did the follow up appointment. And without, I didn't talk about it on my channel but I did get PCOS labs as well as an ultrasound back in, I think November and the results of those, the person who went over the results of those with me was very confusing and was like giving me all of, it's a whole thing. I'm not gonna get into all of my medical history but basically for the endometriosis thing, it is suspected that I have it. So I have gotten a referral and I have to get an MRI or possibly look into, it's suspected that I have endometriosis is what she said today. And that was just so validating to hear because I've been asking questions for so many years. I'm like, I'm trying so hard not to cry. I've been asking questions for so many years and I don't feel like anyone has ever heard me, like medical professionals. I've been like, I'm in pain and this is awful and it shouldn't be almost like your borderline having to go to the emergency room every time you have a period. And so even just hearing that was incredible but I found out I have a subseptate uterus and you're born with it I guess and your uterus is just in a different shape than most people and so it can cause painful periods, et cetera. So that is possibly part of the reason but then also yeah, it is she confirmed to me today that it is suspected that I have endometriosis so I'm gonna get referred to a specialist so I can go from there. Then for the PCOS labs, she just diagnosed me with PCOS. My person that I spoke to last time kind of gave me all of these things and she was like, this is the treatment that I'm gonna put you on and these are the things that I'm gonna recommend and I was like, sorry, I'm confused like, do I have PCOS? And she was like, well, it's hard to say but and she just, she kind of like brushed it off and it was weird and so I was like, oh, okay. So then I had my follow up today and this doctor that I spoke to was like, you have PCOS, 100% you have PCOS. I can tell by the labs, I can tell by the symptoms you told us, et cetera. And I just feel like, yeah, I kind of knew that. I kind of knew that all along but also it just feels so validating because I've been saying that I think I have it for so long and I've been pursuing a diagnosis for so long and a diagnosis doesn't change anything obviously but in a way it does because it makes me, like it gives me so much more to go from without this just mysterious like, hmm, I wonder if I have this and I wonder what's going on with me and why I feel like this all the time and why I have hair growing in parts of my body and why I still have acne as a 36 year old and why it's extremely easy for me to gain weight but very difficult to lose weight and just all these typical symptoms and it just feels so validating to know that I can now with medical help, I can do things to like, I can take supplements and there are medications and things like that to like help me feel better. I'm just literally like, I don't know. I was fully dreading this appointment because my last appointment wasn't great and I felt so discouraged and confused and I think it was because it was like someone who wasn't a gynecologist so maybe they weren't even able to like say but also why were they the one to go over the results with me but I think it's because like the doctor wasn't available, whatever. All that to say, I am like in shock. She just kept saying, you have PCOS, you have PCOS, you have PCOS and I was just like, it feels so crazy to hear that. Like it's something that I knew obviously but just to hear it confirmed is wild. So I mean, a lot of you have been telling me for a long time that you suspect that I have it or that you have it and it sounds like I experience what you experience, et cetera and I'm just like, I'm so glad that the drill is in the background as I'm having this emotional moment but I really do think I need to like sit with it and just go over the information that she sent me as far as like different options like more natural options, more medication based options. I think I'll definitely do like the natural options first but I'm brand new, I'm trying to figure this out. I've never ever researched like treatment for PCOS or anything like that but I started crying on the call and I was just like, I feel so validated. Like I feel like this is such helpful information. Like she was just giving me all of the tips and explaining everything so thoughtfully and was so supportive. I just can't believe how that went. Like I can't believe that I'm, I just feel like it's like finally, like I'm finally starting to get some answers and hopefully I will continue to get more answers but it shouldn't have taken this long. That's all I'm gonna say. I'm just so thankful that I decided to go, you know, try a different, I tried like a women's health center and took a shot on trying something different and it's like been, it's been crazy from my first appointment. They're like, have you ever been tested for PCOS? No one has ever said that to me in my life. I've been to so many gynecologists in my life. I just like, if you were here in 2021, I'm gonna get emotional again. This fucking drill, I swear to God. If you were here in 2021 when I went to the doctor and I was just gas lit the entire time and I was told that it was on me, it was my fault that my periods were so bad because I gained weight and all the symptoms that I was mentioning were just normal. I just needed to lose 30 pounds and that I would be fine and I was so embarrassed and so ashamed and so like, just like blindsided. I felt like I had been like smacked across the face. I was like, you're supposed to be like, you're a woman. You're supposed to be on my side. You're supposed to help me. And it made me not go back to the doctor for two years. And now to know, I mean, it makes me angry because I could have years and years and years, I could have been trying to tackle this and handle it and do my best. But knowing that I have like an answer is just like, oh my God, it's life changing. So yeah, I need to take some time and just like process this weird way to end the vlog, I guess. But this to me, I mean, I guess finding out that you have something is like, not great, but also to me, it is great because I just feel like, oh, finally I have an answer. Finally, I can like, okay, I can now look into ways to help myself, you know, ugh, it's crazy. Ugh, I'm gonna end the vlog here, but we'll chat more about it in the future. I just ask kindly that you please just like, keep in mind that I'm not looking for medical advice or you know, please don't, please try not to like project things, I am gonna work closely with all of the doctors that I have and just try to manage it the best I can. But if you do have like, you know, tips that have worked for you, definitely let me know cause it's gonna be probably a long journey ahead, but I'm hopefully looking forward to feeling a lot better. So anyway, thanks for being here and thanks for caring and you know, sometimes I'm like, why am I talking about my menstrual issues on the internet? But at the same time, like people go through this every day, like people need to hear this because it's gonna help people hopefully recognize like their own symptoms and pursue their own care and advocate for themselves in their own doctor's appointments and maybe seek other care or whatever. So I'm just having to remind myself, I'm having a self-doubt moment, but I'm not doing that, goodbye. Whew, whew, whew. Thank you so much for being here and for your support in advance. I freaking love you guys and I'll see you very soon in the next vlog, crazy.